Kate Takes 5

Reflections on a midlife career junction

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Tue, 13 Dec 2022 12:18:00 +0000

"You should do this course," a new friend told me as I explained why I was currently signing on and dropping out. I had left my job in a haze of burnout and a deepening sense that I was no longer on the correct life path. But what was the right path? I no longer felt like I knew where I even wanted to go, and if I didn't know that - how could I move forward? I was stuck at a crossroads with no signposts.

"Yeah, maybe..." I replied uncommitted, and filed it away somewhere in my subconscious.

The Past

I took the summer off to write, breathe, and reset. I would start worrying about next steps when the kids went back to school. And what a joy that was. As soon as I logged out of my work accounts, I felt immediate relief and a surge of happiness. But what came next was almost more important. Over the summer I lost the cynicism that had recently taken hold of me. I reconnected with friends and family, spent quality time with my mother whose door I had been racing in and out of for months, travelled to London to visit my sister, went on a family holiday, swam, read, walked and reconnected with contentment and a love of life.

In short - I was given the gift of time to come back to myself.

And then September crept in and I realised I needed to find work. But where to start? I trawled employment websites and LinkedIn. I paid for a career consultant workshop. I asked anyone and everyone for advice. And I made an appointment with an Adult Career Guidance specialist through the unemployment office.

I thought I was doing a box-ticking exercise, but the session was more like therapy. She asked difficult questions and made suggestions I hadn't contemplated. I still didn't know what I wanted, but she gave me things to think about.

"I'm thinking of doing this course.." I said at the end. Innovation, Creativity and Entrepreneurship at the Innovation Academy in UCD. It was the same course my friend had mentioned months ago.

"Good choice," she said. "I was looking at that one myself".

And so I sent through my application. If I got accepted I would do it. And if I didn't then so what? No big loss.

Little did I know how untrue that was!

The Present

I started the course the next month. A Level 9 packed into three months of intensive hands-on projects.

Within the first week, I was lying on the cold grass in my garden in a floral dress with flowers scattered over me, directing an unamused teen to take photos of me as I recreated a famous painting to send in to the class.

I had not been expecting this.

My class was made up of just over thirty unique and interesting people - each with one thing in common - we were at a junction in our lives and we were looking for direction. There were young professionals who had fled the war in the Ukraine, there were techy start up founders, there were film directors and medical professionals. Every industry, age and personality represented in a wonderful mix of diversity and humanity.

Over the next three months we threw ourselves into the challenge, opened ourselves up, and bonded into a formidable tribe. We learned by doing. Design Thinking, Leadership, Teamwork, Business - so much packed into sometimes wonderful, sometimes frustrating, but always inspirational days.

I grew in confidence, learning that I had valuable skills to offer. I wasn't trapped anymore. If I couldn't find a job I wanted, then I could create one. The power of entrepreneurship.

From that moment, I applied only for roles that I knew were aligned with my core values and loves.

When I got an interview for a Writer in Residence position at a prestigious university I thought this was it. This was the one I had been waiting for. I spent all weekend prepping for it. I reached out to other people who worked there to get information about the interview process. I talked to other people with the same role in different universities to get a feel for the position. I wrote out and recited answers to every conceivable question I could think of. I did practice interviews with myself on zoom and then with one of my classmates. I was ready for this.

The interview went well and I crossed my fingers and toes, checking email updates multiple times daily. And then it came. We're sorry, you were not successful.

The feelings of not being good enough crept in. It hurt. I licked my wounds for the rest of the day, came to terms with it, and by the next morning had put it behind me. There were lots of positives to take from the experience. Not least how willing people had been to help me.

The Future

Hot on the heels of this news came two more job applications. The first for an NGO with a fantastic remit and a job description that fit like a glove. The second - a contract with the biggest publisher on the planet. I threw my hat in the ring for both and got two interviews.

The preparation this time round was easier. I knew the ropes. Again, I gathered help where I needed it - a valuable lesson that I had learned was that I didn't have to do everything alone. And again - everyone I reached out to couldn't have been more supportive.

A second interview for one and a job offer for the other quickly followed. Suddenly I had options. Not only were two jobs potentially on the table - I had my own business idea formed from my course and ready to progress.

I thought and talked and walked and wondered, and then accepted the offer that was on the table. It wasn't forever, but this 6-month contract would give me new skills, open doors and fill my soul.

Over the past months the fear of the future had magically dissipated, and my decision felt right.

I start as Publicity Manager with Penguin Random House in January, just after my course completes.

The timing is perfect. The role, a dream. The company unparalleled.

I'm moving forward again, and whatever this may bring, I am ready for my next chapter.

Career junctions can be scary, but in midlife especially so. However, our skills and experience are hard-earned and we have so much to offer. We just need to believe in ourselves more.

As one of our guest lecturers told us - "Always dream one size bigger".

That's one lesson I will not forget.

5 Unexpected Benefits Of Giving Up Alcohol

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Sat, 26 Jun 2021 14:41:00 +0000

Have you ever considered giving up alcohol? Or even just taking a break?

I never expected to be a non-drinker. I fell into it, accidentally. It was only meant to be for 30 days, but here I am over four years later – happier, healthier, calmer, more productive – all thanks to not drinking.

I wasn’t a problem drinker. I wasn’t an alcoholic. I was like most people in Ireland who drink – it was just part of the lifestyle that we all partook in. A bottle of wine at home on a Friday night, dinner and drinks with friends (when we were allowed to do such things). A bottle of cold beer on a sunny day to enhance the moment, a glass of champagne to mark a celebration, something stronger to get through the tough days.

It was always there – good times, bad times, a social elixir, a stress reducer.

I thought giving up alcohol would be all about what I was losing out on – but in fact it turned out to be about what I gained. Here are just some of things giving up alcohol gifted me:

1. Energy

Within two weeks my energy levels soared. I painted the house, completed a diploma, ran my fastest 10k ever. I had so much extra energy, I didn’t know what to do with it all. In the past two years I have run a marathon and written two books – not drinking is a serious superpower!

2. Less anxiety

While many of us use alcohol to relieve stress and anxiety, it actually only works as a pause button. In fact, alcohol often increases the stress and anxiety the next day, leading to a vicious circle. Without alcohol in my system, my anxiety reduced and I was able to take on whatever life threw at me.

3. Better parenting

With more energy, added patience and no hangovers I was more able to dedicate more of myself to my kids. I became a calmer, more patient and more organised mum. Far from perfect, but definitely better!

4. Time

It’s surprising the amount of time we dedicate to drink – whether its hours in the pub (remember that?), nights in front of the TV, or mornings feeling the worse for wear – so many hours get lost to drinking that we don’t even notice. For someone who was constantly chasing their tail, this was a huge gift – time was given back to me in spades.

5. Confidence.

I thought not drinking would knock my confidence rather than increase it. But once I learned who I was in a social situation without a drink in my hand to boost me, a quiet confidence grew in me.

The same was true about life in general – I learned that I am able to take head on anything that life throws at me … and it’s a good feeling.

Other benefits included brighter eyes, better skin, deeper relationships, increased clarity of mind, more money and more excitement for the future.

Most of us spend almost all of our adult lives drinking without really questioning it. But what if giving up was the best thing you ever did? You won’t know until you try of course. Giving over just 30 days out of the 60+ years of our lives that we spend drinking seems like it’s worth a try to me. If you're sober curious or want to take a break from alcohol for awhile to see the impact it has on your life - The Accidental Soberista is a good place to start!

Pop over to Amazon see the rest of the reviews and grab yourself a copy!

The Accidental Soberista - My book about giving up alcohol

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Fri, 05 Mar 2021 11:35:00 +0000

It's exactly one year since our lives were turned upside down by Covid, and what a year it has been.

Something that got me through the tough days was knowing that I had a secret. A project. Something to focus on and something to look forward too.

It was back in May 2020 that an email landed in my inbox from the wonderful Gill Books asking had I ever thought about writing a book about giving up alcohol. Well, funny you should mention that...

I hug out the 10,000 words I had archived on my laptop from the year before, and so it began.

I was back to rising with the sun over the summer months, going for a swim, writing for an hour, then diving into my work day. It felt busy but productive, and a welcome escape from the onslaught of daily news updates.

And now here we are. I have the book in my hands and a few people are out there reading advance copies.

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It's both scary and exciting.

The book details my drinking career, how I got sober curious, and how giving up changed my mind, body, friendships, socialising, parenting and every other aspect of life - for the better. There are lots of embarrassing drunken stories and (hopefully) some inspiration for anyone thinking of giving it a break.

The Accidental Soberista is out on 2nd April (Good Friday!), and if you pre-order you will have your copy in time for the Easter weekend. Yay!

You can pre-order from

Dubray: http://bit.ly/AccidentalSoberistaDubray

Eason: http://bit.ly/AccidentalSoberistaEason

Outside of Ireland - Book Depository: http://bit.ly/AccidentalSoberistaBD

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A note about pre-orders:

Pre-orders make a huge difference to the whole book industry - from publishing houses to distributors to bookshops to authors. It helps with planning, promotion, ordering and best-seller lists (as all pre-orders go in to the books first week of sales).

It's also an absolute joy to get a book through your mailbox when you had forgotten you ordered it!

So if you can, please do. Thank you!

Awakenings: Thoughts From A Lockdown

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Thu, 23 Apr 2020 13:36:00 +0000

I've spent weeks grappling with the new world order. Trying to form some sort of sense from it in words that suddenly seem too small.

From the rumblings of something strange happening on the other side of the world months ago, to the confusion that it was closer than any of us had suspected. 'Poor Italy', we said. 'How could we not have known?'

We were still untouchable at that stage. Going about our normal business, doing things that are now extraordinary - like going into an office to work and meeting friends for dinner. We had no idea what was coming until it hit - like a strong right hook when all we had expected was a couple of gentle jabs. The announcement of the school closures pulsed through the airwaves, allowing no room for any other thoughts like 'what's for dinner?' and 'when is that report due?' In a matter of seconds everything shifted. The world ceased to turn while we held our collective breath.

How apt that the dawn of the next day was Friday 13th. The days that followed would be filled with an onslaught of information - messages, classes, emails, whatsapps, phone calls.
How to Work from Home! How to make sourdough! Free crafting classes! Instructions for first years! And Third Years! And 5th Class! How to use Dropbox! How to volunteer! Store Opening Times! Free PE! Primary School Books! Secondary school resources! New Government Announcement! And a billion memes.

So. Many. Memes.

I dive into the freezing sea on the morning of Day 1, washing the unwanted party of thoughts from my head and resetting my system. It brings calm and clarity and a new addiction is born. Here I am forty days later still diving daily into her arms.

After awhile my little tribe begins to find a new sort of order - one filled with Google Classrooms and Zoom calls, basketball hoops, skateboards and afternoon strolls. A slowing down of time and a shrinking of space occurs, and it is quite lovely.

I find I am guiltily happy. Revelling in the quiet roads and birdsong.
But a tune, a piece of writing or a memory will cause me to unexpectedly well up.
All emotions a little closer to the surface than usual.

In those early days I am filled with plans and projects. Then wiped out with sudden lethargy come the afternoon, lying on my bed mindlessly scrolling through newsfeeds and messages. Sometimes I catch myself simply staring at the sky, clouds drifting by in watercolour paint strokes.

Day Dreaming. How long it has been since we have had that luxury.

Some days I feel the unraveling of our delicate balance like a physical force. I forget to breathe and the tension within the four walls with five people inside begins to rise. I know that once it blows we will come undone. And so I close the bathroom door and stick two rebel fingers up at the child on the other side, or leave the house on a solo Covid-rage walk. Filling my lungs with fresh air and positivity. Resetting myself, and in turn the family, like dominos.

There are many BIG QUESTIONS to grapple with. Connection. Community. Capitolism. Europe. The Environment. Love. Family. The Meaning of Life. Death. Humanity.
This global pandemic has brought these questions to the forefront of all of our minds. The 'because that's the way it is' dead end response to everything has fallen away. As a society we have started to wonder about real change and whether it is actually possible. Could this actually be a catalyst for good?

Sometimes it's all too big and all too much. But the big questions and the big themes actually all revolve around the little things. The things that we now know in our very bones is the important stuff.

The quiet walks with teenagers that normally lock themselves in their bedrooms.
The outpouring of gratitude and respect for the healthcare workers.
The note pushed through the letterbox offering shopping trips.
Old fashioned letters sent to loved ones.
The snuggling of babies in bed.
Watching a bird in the garden.
Or the blossoms on a tree.
A safe space to call home.
Time spent with family.
Checking in on others.
Awakening.

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A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Apr 1, 2020 at 10:51am PDT

Celebrating The Ordinary Life

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:36:00 +0000

I wasn't sure what to expect from the inaugural Life Lessons Conference in London. With no previous year's reviews to go on, but with a stellar line up of speakers - I was intrigued by the scale and diversity of the event. Bill Bryson was rubbing shoulders with Marie Forleo, and comedians, brain surgeons, politicians and psychotherapists joined panels and platforms to teach us everything we needed to know about LIFE.

Alain De Botton, founder of The School of Life kicked off the event and I could have spent the entire weekend listening to him alone. One of the wisest, driest, most interesting humans I've had the pleasure of sharing a room with.

He spoke of celebrating The Ordinary Life. Of taking lessons from the stoics - understanding how brief our moment of life really is, and how luck not just effort is a huge factor in how our lives unfold.

With so much noise these days around performance life coaches and motivational speakers like Tony Robbins, it was interesting to hear a voice pushing back on that path. Our Instagram feeds are overflowing with quotes on positivity and motivational inspiration, but maybe we don't need to be go-getting them all the time. Maybe sometimes we need to accept that luck and not just personal achievement are at work in the world. If everyone who is successful 'deserves' it because of their own personal efforts, does it mean that people who are not successful or who are desperately unhappy deserve their fate too? Sometimes, maybe. But it's worth pondering on. Sometimes it's just the way the cards fall. This all fits perfectly with my year of 'Slow' so I'll be following that trail a little further.

He also talked about childhood, and how similar we are to that child of 5 or 7 or 10 we once were. If you're happy-go-lucky, or eager to please, or you want to be a journalist, or live in the sea - then many of those feelings will still be with you when you're 27 or 87.

Finally he covered the importance of processing our thoughts and feelings. While meditation is about clearing and cleaning he mind, we need more than that. We need time to stare out windows and go for long walks without podcasts playing in our brain. We need silence and space.

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A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Feb 24, 2019 at 11:53pm PST

It stuck with me as I had been pondering the same things in relation to my kids. Remember when we all spent hours staring out from the back of the car on long road trips as blurring fields and grey walls sped past? I do. I'd think about all the places I wanted to go, I'd imagine what the farmer's children were doing that day, I'd imagine myself buying the tumble down cottage we just passed and delight in the possibilities, I'd wonder why our family had such terrible cars when Dad had such a good job, and I'd plan conversations with friends and think about that thing I had said that I probably shouldn't have. My mind would be awash with thoughts and feelings and I'd have the time to let it all play in my head like a movie reel.

Kids in cars with screens don't have that time. Kids on sofas with screens don't have that time. Kids in bed with screens don't have that time.
The only time my kids are sure not to have access to distractions is in the bath, and one of them has already told me he doesn't like taking baths because they make him sad. I suddenly realised that it was the only time he is forced to confront his feelings. The rest of the time he can avoid them with a variety of distractions - friends, tv, school, sports - always something to fill the dreaded vacuum.

But it's not just kids. If you're suffering from insomnia and waking up at 3am in a panic, it may well be because you haven't carved out the mental space your mind needs during the day. One to think about (if you have the time...).

The other thing I love about Alain and The School of Life is the concept. Teaching us things that every human should be taught. How to deal with heartbreak, How to find a career we love, How to be confident, How to fail, How to forgive and so much more. The more years I spend looking at my children in the depths of our educational system the more I despair. If only they could be learning life lessons like this instead of oxbow lakes and pythagoras's theorem. Surely a better use of their precious childhood?

There is no ordinary life. We are all extraordinary. A jumbled mess of emotions and crazy thoughts that we generally keep to ourselves. No one is normal. Which is what makes us human.

The sooner we learn this lesson in life the better.

The Hippie Files - What Is Soul Society?

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Thu, 06 Feb 2020 19:16:00 +0000

A few months ago myself, my daughter, my sister and my hippie friend took a chance on booking a meditation evening we knew nothing about. The name alone had sold me, but when I learned that Soul Society came with crystals as well as guided meditation there was no going back. My little crystal collection had grown naturally over the past year or so, but I knew nothing about them and wanted to learn more.

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TIRED. What do you do when your energy leaves you? I hit a wall this weekend. Plans were put aside and outings cancelled. A gentle walk around the seafront proved too taxing, and resulted in a half hour nap slumped against a wall in the sunshine. 😴 I'm currently lounging in bed drinking green tea and playing with energy producing crystals...🍵 It's bound to work. I've realised that I really don't like being non-productive (!) But sometimes the computer just says no.

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Jun 3, 2019 at 9:36am PDT

So we piled into the car and drove to the venue, got lost, argued, and arrived utterly unzenned at the little room in the park where it was located.

Soul Society is run by Dawn Nolan and Merle O'Grady, with the wonderful Karina providing warmth and support in her utterly unique Karina way. They've been running it without promotion or fanfare for over a year, and it has grown into a much loved and much needed monthly time out for it's attendees.

The evening starts with a yoga mat, a blanket, some carefully selected crystals and lots of smiles. There's a beautiful guided meditation, written for that night's theme by Dawn. Then there's a little talk about crystals by Merle, the choosing of your take-home crystal, some angel cards and a chance to ask any crystal related questions. Merle makes crystals magical yet accessible, explaining that there is no right or wrong way to use them - the key is to just go with what your subconscious is pulled towards.

We then get to break for herbal tea and healthy cake (or so I'm told...). And finally the evening is rounded off with another original meditation from Dawn. The first night saw us head off in our heads on a stroll along a clear cold coastline, followed by relaxation in a big velvet chair by a hot log fire. It was perfect. Almost like the real thing - but without having to get up :)

We left later that evening with a crystal in our pocket, a clear mind and much lighter step.

Our little troop has made it a monthly ritual now. A way of stopping the world and taking some much need deep breaths. Reflecting. Relaxing. And spending time together. It's a bonding, special time and something we all need more of.

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A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Oct 22, 2019 at 11:46pm PDT

IN YOUR OWN WORDS - With Dawn Nolan

1. In your own words what is Soul Society?
Soul Society is a monthly guided meditation evening with crystals. I (Dawn) do the meditations and Merle O'Grady talks us through the powerful healing and supportive abilities of crystals. Each month we set a different theme that we would like to work on such as gratitude/ forgiveness or setting intentions. Everyone who comes gets to choose a crystal to take home with them. Then we stop for tea, cake, chats which is one of my favourite parts (Merle makes these delicious little donut buns that would be rude not to try). All in all, it's a lovely restorative evening of relaxation, connection and taking time out for yourself.

2. Who is it for?
Soul Society is for anyone who wants to take some quality time for themselves, anyone who wants to relax and to connect with likeminded people and anyone who is curious to know more about crystals.

3. Where / when did you learn your craft?
Dawn: I became a Life Coach and NLP practitioner in recent years after working in both graphic and interior design. I set up myhighershelf.com because I'm hugely passionate about wellbeing and helping people find the right tools and support for themselves.

With Soul Society, I was looking to start a monthly meet up for people who were like minded and I suppose spiritually curious ; ) I had met Merle through Mumtalks and asked her if she would be interested in doing this together and we are now on our second year and loving it.
Merle has a background in the fashion industry creating jewellery. She retrained as a Crystal Therapy Practioner after her experiences with crystals had a really positive impact on her life.

4. Where can we find out more ?
You can find out more by following myself @myhighershelf or @merleogradystudio on instagram or for tickets eventbrite.ie

Hippie Files Rating 3. Highly Recommended.
Hippie Files 1 - 10 scale.
1 = Totally normal - accountants welcome. 10 = Peak Hippie - dreadlocked dropouts raised in the woods only)

The Hippie Files

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Wed, 29 Jan 2020 21:10:00 +0000

There's magic in the air.

Everywhere you look there is a new shamanic master at work - from the ubiqutous yoga instructor to the more obscure guided ayahuasca journey and everything in between.

I may be mistaken of course. It could be that I've fallen down a rabbit hole of crystal proportions, but it seems like there is a search on. We've lost our religion, we've thrown ourselves into work, consumerism and technology - and we've suddenly realised that something is very much amiss.
We've lost connection. With ourselves, with others, with nature, with the meaning of life and with

The Big Questions.

If priests and elders no longer the people we look to for guidance - where do we find it?

I first dipped my henna painted toe into the world of hippiedom in my twenties. Not content with a yoga class down the road I went straight to the source instead: Byron Bay in Australia. Home of the Hippie and magnet of alternative wanderers. I set up camp with a raggle taggle crew gathered from various parts of Europe, and we immersed ourselves in fire twirling loveliness. We wore beads in our hair and walked barefoot everywhere for months on end. We thought we had all the answers and life was so much simpler. It was wonderful and I wouldn't change the experience for anything (which is fortunate as I traded a large part of my financial future for it....) but really I was caught up in the 'alternativeness' of it all, not the soulful deep dive of the Self that I'd be seeking now.

But lately I've been doing just that. Down the mystical rabbit hole I mentioned. I've been Yin Yoga-ed, floated off on guided meditations, explored crystal healing, and danced to mother cacao in a ceremony that was part Sharon Horgan hidden camera sitcom, part heart opening ceremonial celebration... (I'll come back to you on that one).

The thing is - once you find yourself at one of these happenings, a whole world of other ones come to light - each more strange or beautiful or intriguing than the next.

So if you're interested in coming along on a hippie trail to find out what some of these weird and wonderful events and therapies are all about then jump aboard. First up will be Soul Society's Crystal Meditation evenings.

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TRUST THE NIGGLE. Sometimes you have to work out whether you don't want to do The Thing because it's hard, or because it just isn't sitting right with you. But either way, it's always worth exploring that niggle. . . . #lifelessons #angelcards #ipbig #epig #soulsociety #wellness

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Jan 17, 2020 at 11:46am PST

Then I might even be brave enough to share that cacoa experience. Well maybe...

One Word 2020

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Sat, 04 Jan 2020 10:48:00 +0000

My favourite post of the year. The time when I get to reflect on the previous 12 months and look forward to the next 12. This year seems to have extra weight as it as it is the start of the new decade. Less a clean page and more of a brand new notebook. In 10 years time I'll be 56. My kids will be 25, 23 and 21. Adults. This decade will be one of great change. Best to set the right foundations for what is to come.

The Early Years

My One Word choices over the years have been Fresh, Depth, Goals, Mind. I missed last year but perhaps it should have been Dreams. 2019 saw me round off the decade by publishing a book and running a marathon. Two things I have been dreaming of since I was a little girl. The last 10 years have seen me move house, move countries, move back, get a job, get another job, say goodbye to my dad, raise 3 kids, go through a separation, do several triathlons, fall in love, travel and so much more. Ten years is a long time. The highs and lows are inescapable - but that life, and the older you get the more you realise that that is what makes people so interesting. It's what gives us depth.

The early years of this decade were filled with the demands of three young children. The later years saw me reclaim some of Me. So much to do so little time! Perhaps that's why I chased those goals and dreams with such focus and determination. But with so many of my life goals and self work done over these past few years, it's time for the focus to swing again.

My One Word for 2020 is SLOW.

I want this decade to be one of soft slowness. To press pause before it's too late. I want it to be filled with family and memories and calm. This year I'm going to focus on building a happy home, giving the children the support they need and making sure I don't get to the end of their childhood with a trophy cabinet of accomplishments for myself and cobwebs of regret.

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I've been busy doing this. Croatia to Wexford with two full weeks of outdoor living and zero social media. It was SO GOOD. 🌄 Easing myself back in with a camera roll full of beauts like this one to share 😍 . . . #wexford #hookhead #ipbig

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Jul 18, 2019 at 11:47am PDT

To start I'm going to force (I mean encourage...) the kids to sit down and write a family manifesto with me. I'm also hoping to put some time and money into doing up the house a bit - if my Airbnb weekends away have taught me anything it's the importance of our surroundings - so guilt be gone. Baking and Books are also high on the agenda. As are family meal times, family movies and wider family gatherings. Also - decluttering. Does it ever end?

To quote Joni Mitchel "Don't it always seem to go, That you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone...". So sorry kids, time to spend some time with mama. I'm going to appreciate what I have before you all disappear on me.

Life Lessons – Big Ideas For Better Living

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Fri, 29 Nov 2019 17:00:00 +0000

I've written about my own life lessons here before - back in 2013 I listed them as -
1. Money is not important (when you have it)
2. Laugh like you mean it
3. Engage with your kids
4. Do the hippie shake and get in touch with your inner self
5. Make art

A few years older and wiser I'd add some other major lessons to that list now, such as -

6. Seemingly impossible goals can be achieved when you take consistent small steps forward each day
7. Sometimes the scariest thing is the one that will bring you the most joy
8. The drinks industry sold us a lie
9. Nothing is more important than the health of you and your loved ones
10. Your mess becomes your message
11. Second chances do exist (and you appreciate them all the more).
12. Sea swimming cures all moods
13. Play the long game

The older I get the more intrigued I am by the mind, our thoughts and the reality we create for ourselves - so the brand new 'thought festival' from The Sunday Times is right up my street.
They are going to be presenting a never-before-seen take on wellbeing.

Melissa Hemsley

"Bestselling authors and world-class thinkers combine under one roof for an insight-fuelled weekend of talks and debates, as Life Lessons shares big – but practical – ideas for living better. Boasting thought leaders such as Bill Bryson, Derren Brown, Richard Dawkins, Marie Forleo, Ruby Wax and Alain de Botton, the festival will see influential figures share their unique life lessons for a happier, healthier and more inspired life."

Marie Forleo

Richard Dawkins

The weekend features over 40 talks from more than 80 speakers, along with an abundance of mindful activities including yoga, meditation, sound therapy, crafting and more. Designed with a structure that will allow guests to not only learn from experts but others around them, with taster sessions to explore new skills, and examine their career potential Life Lessons is a chance for attendees to design a better future for themselves.
Visitors will build their own bespoke programme from topics such as nutrition, health, sustainable living, business, society and psychology. The festival will tackle questions both big and small, from whether it’s possible to design a perfect society, to which foods are beneficial for both humans and the planet.

Bill Bryson

You can join the mailing list with a 48 hour pre-sale for all sign ups from TODAY the 29th November and general release going on sale on the 1st December. Ticket packages will include different tiers for desired talks over the two days.
Visit lifelessonsfestival.com for more details, the full list of speakers, and to pre-register for tickets.

See you there!

How to overcome marathon fears

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Wed, 23 Oct 2019 14:49:00 +0000

How do you overcome marathon fears? Good question.

October has been tough. The fear of the marathon is very real and I've been struggling to focus on any of the positives. My head is filled with worst case scenarios -waking me at night and giving me adrenaline filled palpitations during the day. What if it rains heavily? What if I get cramps? What if I hit the wall? What if I get stuck behind 22,000 other runners? What if I don't make it to the finish line? What if, what if, what if...

So, in a bid to remind myself of some of the good stuff, I'm doing what I always do in these situations - writing it down.

So, how to overcome marathon fears? Remember that...

1. I actually like running.

I need to remind myself of this fact. The 6am rises on cold, dark mornings have almost knocked it out of me. 3 miles out, 3 miles back, up that godforsaken hill day after day after day has left little love left. But those weekend runs along the seafront or taking on a new trail that I've never done before - that's where it's at. The space and time and endorphins and energy that I get from running are all good. I just need to remember that.

2. I've done the training.

I couldn't be more prepared than I am now. I've put in so many months of training, following the plan to the letter. Hundreds of miles clocked up. Three 20 mile sessions and countless other 'long' runs. I'm as ready as I will ever be.

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7/30. If you need me I'll be on the floor. 🥵 . . . #30daysofme #30daychallenge #marathontraining #ipbig #epig #trailrunning #dublinmarathon #running

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Sep 7, 2019 at 10:17am PDT

3. I'm lucky

I have no injuries, no coughs or colds.

4. Visualisation

I've been mentally visualising myself running over that finishing line. Whether it's 4 hours, 5 hours or 7 hours - I will get myself over that line one way or another. And I'll still have done a marathon.

5. Support

I've had incredible support over the past few months. So many messages of advice and positivity. Not to mention the incredible donations I've received to the charity I'm running for. I couldn't be more thrilled and humbled. Thanks to every one of you. I'll be picturing your hands on my back pushing me along at the tough points.

Ok that's all I've got. Hopefully it's enough. We'll see in about 3 days time...

I'm running the Dublin Marathon on Sunday 27th October 2019. If you'd like to support me and help the Capuchin Day Centre for Homeless People in Dublin - you can donate here

To Stephen's Mother

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Fri, 04 Oct 2019 09:18:00 +0000

I'm a mother too.
Three children
Separated

It's a tough gig sometimes
The heart bursting love of kissing their silent downy cheeks at night
To the overwhelming guilt of a bad day they didn't deserve
Or maybe they did
I question myself daily.

I worry about who they will grow up to be
Have I done enough.
Will they be kind, creative, compassionate
Or cynical and cross
Or maybe a little bit of everything
Like the rest of us.

I watched your son last night
Before he took to the stage at his own gig
He sat in the bar with friends
Nervous but appreciative.

A sudden interruption marched up to their table
Young man
Special
Unexpected
I watched your son speak to him with grace and kindness
And saw his father's tired embarrassment turn to gratitude and pride.
A sense of relief.

Later I watched as your son picked that young man out in the crowd,
Name checked him from the stage
Eye to eye
True connection.

I worry about who my children will grow up to be
Will they be kind, creative, compassionate
Have I done enough

He calls you The Gardener
But he is the greatest thing you have ever grown.

Stephen James Smith is a spoken word poet from Dublin and is currently touring Ireland and the UK. More info and tickets available here: https://www.stephenjamessmith.com

His poem The Gardener made me weep.

Finding Single Parent Resources and Friendship

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Thu, 29 Aug 2019 15:47:00 +0000

It's strange when you get thrown into a world you haven't inhabited before. You're suddenly meant to know what to do and how to handle situations you've never dealt with before. You desperately search for information wherever you can find it, but you're clueless - you're learning as you go and hoping to God you make the right choices.

But how are you supposed to know what tax credits are available to a single parent when you've never been one before? How do you make sure your children are ok? That you don't lose yourself to anxiety and stress? That you are protected financially? How do you establish boundaries? Agree custody arrangements? What about maintenance? How do you manage all the emotions? Draw up a separation agreement? Find a good lawyer? Deal with Christmas? Who is entitled to the family home? And how to you find other women who have been through the same thing?

I can't give you the answers to all of the above. But I can help with some of them. One of the most important lessons I've learned in the five years since my marriage broke up is how important it is to have someone who is further along the road than you. Someone who gets it. Who can give their perspective on things. Who can offer a contact or a website or a podcast that may help. But what if you had a whole tribe of those people? And what if you could meet up with those that are closest to you? What if you had a single parent network in your area that had each other's back, supported each other in the tough times and where you could have fun times too?

Enter Frolo

A genius idea from a formidable woman, Frolo is the brain child of Zoe Desmond. Like most brilliant ideas it came from a place of personal need - when Zoe first found herself as a single mum-of-one she wondered how she could find friends who were in a similar situation.

She says "What I was not prepared for was the loneliness and isolation I would feel as a single parent." Zoe wanted to find others that wanted to meet up for Sunday lunches, go to the play park, or even take trips away together. She couldn't find a way - so she created it herself.

The Frolo App is available for download now, and Frolo officially launches in Ireland in September. To get a feel for it hop over to their instagram account which has a mine of information in stories, or listen to the Frolo podcast.

This is community at its very best - connected, strong, understanding, knowledgable and fun.

Workshops

The second thing I know for sure after these five years is that all of your deepest fears and greatest unknowns can be dealt with if you are in a good headspace and have the right mindset. They won't always be easy to navigate - but if you are feeling strong and prepared you'll make better choices - which will lead you to a happier life.

Which is why I'm launching my single parent online workshops. These series of workshops aim to get you through the most difficult of times and out to a better, brighter place.

If you're interested in hearing more just click the link.

Untying the Knot Workshops

The first launch workshop took place last week and this lovely feedback made my day :)

The Clarity theme is brilliant and something I often forget to stop and think about, especially when I’m just on autopilot or in survival mode. I really like that it [the workshop] is short and simple. - Anna

Special Offer!

In other news.... The Book Depository currently have Untying the Knot at a 38% discount with free shipping worldwide!

If you are a single parent or recently separated, please know that there really is the right help and resource out there for you - it's just a matter of finding what fits your own particular needs at a very specific time.

If you have any questions or need a helping hand finding your direction - you now know where we are.

One Word 2019

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Fri, 19 Jul 2019 13:43:00 +0000

Only 7 months late for my one word challenge this year...

I'm just back from holidays where I tuned in, dropped out and thought a lot about...

THE BIG THINGS.

One of the things I realised when I was disconnected from social media for a full two weeks was that I missed writing. I miss the depth. I miss finding the right words in the right format to portray whatever feeling or experience I'm writing about. I miss working things out as I start off on a blank page and come to conclusions and understanding as I reach the end of it. I miss the community. I miss the creativity.

The holiday (and social detox) gave me clarity on lots and lots of dreams and goals I've had whirring around in my head over the past few months. I've kept them in my messy head instead of working them out and getting clear on them here, in writing. Silly me.

And so that's my One Word for 2019. Clarity.

So how do we gain clarity? And what does it actually mean?

It's only taken me all my life to realise that maybe coasting isn't the greatest way to play the game of life after all. Letting life happen to you instead of mindfully forging a future is tempting. It's more romantic, more bohemian, more devil-may-care than plotting and planning. But getting really clear about where life is heading can bring greater rewards, greater excitement, greater control and greater freedom.

It's not massive life changes I'm talking about. It's regular check-ins with myself. It's asking where I am right now, where I want to be in one year's time, why it's important to me, and what I need to do or learn to get there.

I now have a list (And you all know how much I love a list :))

One of my greatest goals for the next year is to grow Untying the Knot. Not as a book but as a series of workshops. I want to take those women who read it and found it helpful, and bring them to the next level. To reignite their hope in their family's future and show them how to get where they want to be. I want to find others that are struggling through separation and divorce and give them support and guidance.

I spent a long time battling with myself about whether I am qualified enough to do this, and after a lot of soul searching I know I'm ready. I've spent time and money on courses to fill the knowledge (and self-belief) gaps, so that I can build the very best tools and resources for those who join me. I have the personal experience and the best experts, and I'm now building a series of online workshops to bring it all together.

The first 4-week workshop launches in September, but I'm planning on doing a free one-hour online 'Clarity' workshop in August, so if you are interested in joining me just sign up below (and no - you don't need to be separated or divorced - everyone is welcome to this one!)

This workshop will help you get clear about where you are now, where you want to be, and what you need to do to get there.

Untying the Knot - Join me!

Gaining Clarity in Croatia

I'm excited.

And nervous.

But mostly excited.

Please spread the word and pass it on to anyone who you think may find it useful.

The next chapter begins...!

I wrote a book

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Wed, 15 May 2019 18:28:00 +0000

Every since I was in school I have wanted to write a book - seeing it published was the ultimate goal. After that, well, it didn't really matter that much did it?

Um, actually yes, it turns out it did.

What I now know is that when you put your heart, soul and sanity into writing a book, some sort of validation is a must. If it's a pat on the back from your two friends who read it then that's fine. If it's a party with friends and family to celebrate then that's even better.

What I got back was, now that I take it all in, quite remarkable.

Radio interviews with the likes of Ryan Tubridy and Ciara Kelly
Hotlist appearances
The window display in Dubray bookstore (!)
Five star reviews on Amazon and Goodreads
Articles in the national papers
TV appearances
Heartfelt messages from people I'd never met, telling me what a difference it had made to their lives (this was truly the best)
Photos from people spotting it in bookstores
Outpouring of pure loveliness
Talks and live readings
And one of the best nights of my life ever, ever. My lovely, LOVELY book launch.

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I'm not entirely sure why I ran down to the sea for a mortifying photoshoot directed by the 10 year old the minute my book arrived 🤔 But I did. And here it is. 📸 📘 It's difficult to put into words the range of emotions of having this in my hands, but I'm proud and pleased and excited and deeply nervous. The feedback so far has been amazing and has given me courage and a spring in my step - so onwards and upwards. I'm (kinda) ready. 💪 .

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Jan 4, 2019 at 7:23am PST

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Me and Ryan. I'm in my highest boots and I still look like a short arse 😂 'It's just a chat with a really nosey man' he said to me before going on air. Thanks @instatubridy for making it all so easy - thoroughly enjoyed it 😊 #untyingtheknot

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Jan 10, 2019 at 8:41am PST

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This week has been more than a little crazy. From the Indo article to Ryan Tubridy, the book has had more interest than I ever imagined - and now topped off by making it into the Hot 100 of 2019 in the Irish Examiner Weekend. I'm feeling proud and humbled all at once. Huge thanks for the love, support and personal stories being sent this way - it means an awful lot. ❤️ #writingcommunityIG

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Jan 12, 2019 at 11:44am PST

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Trying to catch up with a whirlwind week. There's me on the telly looking like I know what I'm doing... 🎬 Thanks to @irelandamvmtv for having me and the lovely @annadaly for being, well, lovely... 😘 Press pieces are still appearing and I'm getting lost with what I've posted where. There's a fine line between sharing what you've done and being completely self-absorbed, and I feel I may have crossed it 😬 Normal sea / running pics will resume soon I promise.

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Jan 16, 2019 at 9:41am PST

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This cake needs its own post. If you ever want a special cake for a special occasion then Shannon from @petitepoirecakeco is your girl. So talented, creative and full of loveliness. I've been eating cake for breakfast lunch and dinner for the past 3 days and it still tastes great 😊 .

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Jan 27, 2019 at 12:11am PST

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So thrilled to be in today's Guardian Weekend magazine. I always thought if I ever made it into there, then I had made it. Very, very happy to tick it off the list 🙌. They were, of course, incredibly lovely to deal with - and even the many, many comments under the online piece are supportive and/or interesting (or so I'm told - I still follow the 'never read the comments' rule 👀) - proving that even their readers are sound. Just like us! 😜

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Mar 16, 2019 at 12:43pm PDT

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Favourite pic of the night ❤️

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Jan 25, 2019 at 11:30am PST

It's not that I'm boasting (honesty), I just needed to write it all down and have it all recorded in case I forget what actually happened. Or have to pinch myself to believe it.

So dreams really can come true. In fact I'm already working on my next one...

Listography - Top 5 moments I never want to forget

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Mon, 07 Jan 2019 17:25:00 +0000

Listography was a weekly linky I used to run back when blogging was blogging and we all lived in a cardboard box etc, etc. I used to love writing the posts and reading everyone else's entries, but it became harder and harder to think up topics and find the time, so I ditched it. But not before Top 5 decisions / places / books / mugs / albums / inventions / life lessons and many, many more lists were compiled.

Anyway, in a fit of nostalgia for the old times I thought I'd dip my toe back in familiar waters and cover off Top 5 Moments I Never Want to Forget. Feel free to join in. It's good to remember the good stuff and note them down for when you're old and senile (any day now...)

Top 5 Moments I Never Want to Forget

1. The Doll's House
My Dad spent months making it. Sawing and sanding and painting in the yard. The walls were white and the roof shined a glossy red. 'It's for the poor children' he told me. I was happy for them, but it didn't stop me being a little jealous. Jealous of the time he spent on it as much as the house itself.

On Christmas morning he stood quietly by, watching me open my own gift. As the paper was ripped off there stood the dolls house. My dolls house. I cried. 'What about the poor children?' I asked. He promised he had sent them something else, but his face showed a strange mixture of disappointment and pride. The Doll's House still sits in my mother's house. Forty years old and still reminding me of how loved I was.

2. Sea swimming in Byron Bay
I met a group of strangers and we became friends. We lazed around under giant palm trees and twirled fire under the stars. One day we were bored, looking for something to occupy the long hours of dreaming. We massaged henna into each others hair and then went running into the sea. Young and wild and free. I want to always remember that simple joy.

3. The births of my children.
Ok the first was appalling, but it's still the one that made me a mother. The other two were much easier. Birthing balls and legal highs. I drew the line at Recue Remedy mid-labour though.
'I thought you were going to hit me' confessed the midwife who had offered it to me. Each one was very different and very special.

4. My First Triathlon
The lead-in happened so quickly I didn't even realise what I was doing. Before I could even finish my 'Do you think I could do a triathlon', my brother had chucked me in at the deep end with minimal training and maximum possibility of humiliation. But I did it, and that feeling of accomplishment has helped me achieve lots of other goals over the following years.

5. The Book
My three life goals since I was very young and knew no better were (i) to become a mother, (ii) to run a marathon and (iii) to write a book.
The moment I received that letter telling me I had a publisher was a mixture of joy, pride, fear and awe. The book Untying the Knot comes out next week and I still feel of all of those things.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Untying-Knot-Consciously-Uncouple-World/dp/1786050684

(And yes - I also signed up to the Dublin Marathon 2019 - might as well make it a hat trick).

So there's five. I'm sure I've missed out some spectacularly obvious moments - but the ones that jump into your head with their arms frantically waving are usually the ones to go for. Pick me! Pick me!

What are yours?

Snapshot - Nov 18

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Thu, 15 Nov 2018 21:42:00 +0000

How do you get your blog back up and running when there is tumbleweed rolling through the cobwebs? With a snapshot of course.

Here's what happening Chez Kate at the moment...

Listening to:

Courtney Barnett & Idles - both in the car and at their live gigs.

Idles are immense. Turn it up loud and cover the kids ears.

Courtney is my new girl crush - vying for top spot with Wolf Alice - it's hard to choose...

In other music news I've been asked to choose 7 songs that mean something to me for an upcoming podcast interview (more to come on that). Finding this immensely difficult. 17 might be more achievable. Maybe.

Watching:

Trust. About the John Paul Getty Jr kidnapping. Started brilliantly, beginning to get a little drawn out mid-way through.

Reading:

All the memoirs.

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To be a writer I was told that I needed to do two things: 1. Read every day 2. Write every day This year I've done both, stockpiling my bookshelves with #memoirs and #selfhelpbooks to inspire my ramblings. These are some of the best, all sitting proudly on my overflowing bookshelf. My own book is now almost ready to greet the world. A deeply personal guide to amicable separation - writing my guts out as my friend @nickieohara would say. Hopefully it won't look too out of place among their greatness when the time comes. 🙈 . . . #bookstagram #books #bookshelf #bookstagrammer #vivalbertine #cherylstrayed #eatpraylove #singlemum #separation #ipbig #epig #irishbloggger #mumblogger #authorsofinstagram #amreading #amwriting

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Nov 9, 2018 at 1:24pm PST

This Is Going To Hurt was eye openingly terrifying. I'm so glad I've had my babies already. (And pray that none of them ever wants to become a doctor.)

Just started People Like Me. Lynn Ruane is a force. Her interviews and recent podcast won me over so looking forward to finding out how she forged her way from drop out to Irish hero.

Looking forward to:

Christmas. Not one present bought and no money to buy them with, but it always works out in the end (right??!)

Wearing:

Boots again - hurrah!

Eating:

Vegetables. I've accidentally turned vegetarian again. Not sure how that happened...

Working on:

Final edits of my book. Can't believe that's actually true. Prepare to be bombarded in the coming months. (Apologies in advance).

Frustrated by:

Small children. Particularly the male variety.

Enjoying:

Teaching the kids how to swim. Lessons are expensive and fairly rubbish, so I committed to taking them once a week myself. 6 weeks in and the progress is immense. We are all very proud of each other. I did a good thing.

Not enjoying:

Not a lot to add here. I'm pretty damn lucky.

How to be healthy on a budget

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Thu, 23 Aug 2018 19:18:00 +0000

I went to see Russel Brand record his Podcast 'Under the Skin' in a local venue this week. He was interviewing The Happy Pear on all thing veg related. They all talked about keeping true to their beliefs, choosing time with family over fame and fortune, and making healthy choices over easy ones. There was lots of inspiring stuff discussed. But the one question that I felt didn't really get answered was how to be healthy when you didn't grow up in an affluent area, or weren't blessed with the option of choices, or are just so bogged down in life that cooking from scratch and gym classes on a Wednesday morning just aren't going to happen.

So what about all the people who want to be healthy but are too knackered and / or broke to try?

I pondered on it for a few days and came up with a plan. Lots of this worked for me - although I have to caveat that by saying I grew up in the same affluent area, was lucky enough to have had a great upbringing and have always had amazing support along the way. So maybe I should just shut up...

What I'm aiming for here is inspiration rather than trumpet blowing. I often miss the mark though so apologies in advance.

3 Step plan for how to be healthy on a budget.

1. Give up drink.
There I said it. Might as well get it out of the way early. I know what you're thinking, but all I can honestly say is that I never, ever, ever thought I would be someone who says 'I don't drink'. You can read more about how I fell into it here and here - but don't discount it without considering it. The health (and mental health) benefits are so massively gigantic that they need their own blog post - or book. Plus you have buckets more energy - which allows you to move on to step two.
Cost: Minus - you actually MAKE money doing this one.

2. Exercise.
Now that you're not feeling so sluggish you can think about starting to move more. What do you do with all those early mornings and extra energy? Go running. It's quick, easy, accessible and doesn't cost a penny. I used all the excuses in the book to get out of this one in the early days - too tired, old trainers, too dark, too cold, too embarrassing, no one to mind the kids... but (sorry) there's always a way. Find it. Do it. You never know where it will lead. I started with an out of breath, sweaty 1k jog around the block and am now doing triathlons. (Only one a year but it still counts!). Plus exercise gives you energy - so if you can just push through that knackered phase you'll really start to notice the difference.
Cost: Free

3. Go (semi) veggie
Your body is now a temple. You're half way to healthy and you are actually starting to crave better food. This is what I call the virtuous cycle - you've turned the corner. The extra time and energy from step one brought you to step two, and step two has pushed you on to step three. And step three reinforces step one and two and you're now merrily hop, skipping and jumping down the street high fiving everyone you meet. Your friends will hate you.

This step is where the budgeting bit gets trickier because processed food is generally cheaper than fresh. But by ditching meat and substituting frozen veg and pulses it's very doable. (Now it's the kids' turn to hate you). And of course you have all that extra money jangling in your pockets from step one.
Meat-free is also much better for your body - not to mention the planet. There are tonnes to sites and sources full of budget friendly vegetarian recipes - even trying out a couple a week will make a difference.
Cost: Minimal

And that's it! New, improved, happier, healthier you.

Easy as 1, 2, 3. Now you just have to start. Give it 30 days and see what happens - it could just change your life. And no sign up fees.

Dalkey Book Festival - Coming Full Circle

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Tue, 12 Jun 2018 16:34:00 +0000

I'm not sure if it counts as a full circle when there's only two stops - more of a round trip, which is a bit like a circle so...

First stop. This time last year I saw a pop up on my Facebook feed talking about a book festival. Even better - a book festival in Dalkey. Even better - a book festival in Dalkey with Billy Bragg.

Credit: Conor McCabe

We bought tickets, the sun shone, we pottered between pubs and marquees, weaving in and out of the crowds who spilled out from the doors onto the street, glasses in hand and smiles on faces. It was magical.

And to top it all off I got to meet Billy.

And so, after a thoroughly enjoyable weekend, we vowed to return next year.

A few months later, a very special lady I have had the pleasure of getting to know, Prishela Row, asked me would I write a short story for a book she was planning. It was titled 'The Kindness of the Irish People' and she wanted me to dig through my memory for a good example and write it down.

It's impossible to say no to Prishela. Plus of course I was honoured to be asked. The only problem was that my story featured me. What sort of a person puts themselves at the centre of a story like that?! But the story wouldn't go away, so I wrote it down, and it turned out that it wasn't my kindness that had made the moment special at all - it was humanity. It was the forming of bonds between strangers on a human level. I handed my story to her and promptly forgot about it all.

And then I got another tap on the shoulder. The book was coming out. Would I read my story out at the Dalkey Book Festival in June?

Second stop. Goosebumps.

The event is on this Thursday. I'm nervous. But most of all I'm deeply proud of my lovely friend who had an idea, and through her own magic wove it into reality.

You can see the full Dalkey Book Festival Schedule here

Good vibrations

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Wed, 09 May 2018 17:33:00 +0000

So. MIND.

That was my one word chosen for 2018. It was picked with a view to drawing positivity to me. Hitting the sweet vibrations of the universe with a harmony that The Beach Boys would be proud of. Imagining all the great things I wanted from the year and pulling them towards me with the force of a black hole vortex.

Hey! Was it something I said? Come back here!

Ok, so some of the stuff is a bit out there. But I do believe that there's something in all of it. If you go around focusing on all the bad things that can happen - guess what? Bad things happen! If you focus on the amazing - well, you just never know do you?

There's a school of thought that believes that the universe delivers on our vibes. Literally. Our own energy reflected back on us. It's a crazy concept. But then so was electricity before we all took it for granted. And what is electricity but energy.

Electricity: a form of energy resulting from the existence of charged particles, either statically as an accumulation of charge or dynamically as a current.

Anyway, I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this, but I have had some pretty incredible things happen so far this year. Life changing things in fact.

Professionally I've somehow managed to bag myself the role of Head of Social for eumom and Easy Parenting magazine. Like all good women (especially mothers) I was immediately flooded by imposter syndrome. Can I do this? Do I know enough? Am I the best person for this job? What if I fail? (Oh but what if you fly...)

"You know things you don't even know you know" a friend wisely counseled at the time. And you know what? She was right. Believe in yourself. No one knows everything, it's a learning game. Keep listening, keep learning, keep helping and keep being helped.

(It also helps that I work here. )
(I know.)

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5)

Which brings me to Incredible Thing No. 2.

I've written an actual book that has an actual publisher. Gulp. Slightly terrifying. Especially as it is oversharing to the Nth degree. It's a book about separation. A personal story. A story which I wish I had been able to read when I was going through my own (dare I say it) 'journey'. A story which has the blessings of my family, my kids and my ex. It's a story of hope. My story.

It's also the reason I haven't written a post on here all year and why I disappeared from Facebook for so long. The deadline is the end of this month so obviously I'm doing what all writers do at times of crisis - anything but writing.

'And in the meantime we look forward to publishing your book...' You know when you want something so bad for so long and you begin to think it will never happen? Well this is the face when it does. Silent satisfaction, disbelief, nerves and pride all rolled up in one stunned moment. And now I don't quite know what to do with myself... so I thought I'd just quietly pop it on to Instagram so that I can get used to the news being out there. Next stop Facebook (maybe..).

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Feb 26, 2018 at 7:51am PST

So that's all momentous. And it isn't even midway through the year yet. Call me crazy hippy lady but I'm going to keep sending those good vibrations into the ether and see what comes back to me.

Who's with me? (Don't all rush at once now...)

One word 2018

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Sun, 31 Dec 2017 10:40:00 +0000

It's that time of the year again, time to not make resolutions but to review the year that has passed, and choose a new word to live by for the year ahead. A word that brings you back to what you are looking for when you are a little bit lost. A word that inspires you when you are tired. A word that helps guide your decisions when confusion reigns.

I'm not usually great at keeping things going past the good idea phase. I like to think of myself as the creative type - excited by new shiny things as they are dreamed up or pass by my eyeline. 'Oh look a good idea! Quick grab it before it disappears!'' I plan to hold on to the shiny new good idea and change my life with it, but then a new one comes along and, well, I can't hold on to them all can I? So I'll just let go of this old not-so-shiny-anymore one and grab the new one. Quick, before it disappears...

The One Word movement however has stayed shiny. This is my forth year doing it and all I can say is - it works for me.

In 2015, my first year, I chose Fresh. In 2016 it was Depth. Last year my word was Goals. I had some big ones that I wanted to stop putting on the long finger and just really steam roll through. My word was a way of reminding myself of the big picture throughout the year.

So how did I fair?

My big goals were to finish my book, start a pension, do a triathlon and be more patient with my children.

I made huge headway with my book. I got excited about it, getting up early to write and living vast chunks of time with the story rolling around in my head. I got the belief back - even to the point of sending it on to a few trusted pairs of eyes and a single publisher. But then I stumbled again. I know it's not right yet and I'm not sure how to fix it. With that in mind I've just signed up to a big scary 8 week course with the Irish Writers Centre. Perhaps this time next year I'll be checking off the goal that at times seems an immense impossibility and at others seems almost within touching distance.

First full manuscript print out. Ready to start making notes! #writing #goals #oneword #writersofinstagram #writerscorner #amwriting #ipbig #epig

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Mar 23, 2017 at 9:57am PDT

I completed my One Year No Beer. I also wrote an article about the early days, appeared on the radio to discuss it and now may never drink again. I know.

I started a pension with the money I saved by giving up drink. Rock n' Roll.

I completed the Dublin City Triathlon and came 4th in my (aul one) age group. (I think there were more than 4 of us...). My one word helped me through many a training session.

In full on exercise mode at the moment. Triathlon in 2 weeks. Fear is a great motivator! 11k run followed by dip in the sea this morning 💪

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Aug 12, 2017 at 1:54am PDT

I went sunrise swimming, and even dragged the kids along some mornings.

Almost didn't get out of bed for this one, but very glad I did. Glorious sunrise this morning. Don't tell mum I went swimming with a cold.. 🤒 #dtm #naturesfilter #sunrise #greystones #swimrise #epig #ipbig #seaswimming

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Aug 25, 2017 at 11:11pm PDT

I did at least one sea swim every month for the year.

Start as you mean to go on they say. Novel writing, short run and sea swim all completed by 9am. That'll do for today. #goals #seaswimming #winterswimming #roadrunning #greatoutdoors #ipbig #epig

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Jan 4, 2017 at 1:48am PST

Rounded off a year of monthly sea swims this morning. 'Enjoy the solstice!' a man called as I braved the waters. What a day to choose to finish off 2017 - couldn't have planned it better if I tried. (And yes it was cold. Like thousands of tiny daggers piercing my icy red skin). ❄️ . . . . #wintersolstice #ireland #seaswimming #pblogger #nature #greatoutdoors #instagood #ipbig #epig #magicmomentsadvent #irishblogger #winter2017 #goals

A post shared by Kate Gunn (@katetakes5) on Dec 21, 2017 at 1:54am PST

And then there's the patience thing. I'd like to think I improved. I certainly learned a lot this year about dealing with children's ever changing emotional needs. How listening, supporting, working through issues together helps empower them. And how labelling a child never, ever helps. I also got a big fat healthy reminder that it is how we react to our children's emotions that is the key to really helping them. We've all been there. They shout at you. You shout back. They scream louder. You explode. When all along if you'd taken the time to find out where the anger was coming from and talk it out with them you both could have learned something. I'm not saying it's easy - especially in the heat of the moment. But recent weeks have taught me that lots of extra love and positive reinforcement works wonders on behaviour and household happiness. More of that this year please.

So on to 2018 and my word, which this year is Mind.

I've spent a lot of this year exploring the power of the mind, and the more I read and discover the more I know it's the answer to everything. And there is so much to learn. From teaching your kids the life skills of resilience and grit, to opening yourself up to the power of the universe - everything stems from your brain.

I've been reading up on neuroplasticity - which basically is the science of rewiring your brain. The good news is that no, you are not born that way. You can train your brain to grow new neurons, build new pathways, become compassionate or grateful or happier - or even more patient. Wow.

Meditation also looms large in my plans. Taking time out each day to allow the subconscious space to breathe and speak to you. I'm going to upgrade my current free app to a paid version which hopefully will make me do it every day. Bring on the calm.

Universal intelligence - far less scientific but still worthy of exploration will also feature in my 2018 plans. I keep coming back to this as if it's simply positive thinking, but I'm pretty sure it's much more than that. It's believing in your potential and having faith that what you want is available to you. (If this time next year I'm an author you can take it from me it works. If I'm not you never have to read another crackpot hippie mantra post from me ever again.)

Kindness, gratitude, abundance, confidence, positivity. Live how you want to live. Be the person you want to be. If I master all that and pass it on to my kids I'm pretty sure that's a parenting Olympic gold in the bag.

This little story from Ruby Wax's 'Sane New World' sums it up in all it's simplicity.

Have an amazing 2018.

23 questions to ask your child

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Tue, 12 Dec 2017 18:07:00 +0000

This has been doing the rounds online for ages - it's only taken me two years to actually take 10 minutes to sit down and go through the questions with one of my kids. BUT having finally done it I can highly recommend it as time extremely well spent.

I took the youngest out for dinner the other week (Indian, yum), and spent the entire time grinning like an idiot across the table at him as he answered these 23 questions about me. As a bonding experience it is pretty damn good.

Here's one I made earlier..

So here's our Q&A, recorded for the memory making loveliness.

1. What is something Mummy always says to you?

'I love you'.

2. What makes Mummy happy?

'Kisses and cuddles'

3. What makes Mummy sad?

'Arguments'

4. How does Mummy make you laugh?

'Being herself'

5. What was Mummy like as a child?

'I dunno, I didn't know you as a child'

6. How old is Mummy?

'44'

7. How tall is Mummy?

'6ft 3' (5ft 2)

8. What is Mummy’s favourite thing to do?

'Spending time with the family'

9. What does Mummy do when you’re not here?

'Misses me'

10. If Mummy becomes famous what will it be for?

'Being pretty' (!)

11. What is Mummy really good at?

'Hugs and kisses'

12. What is Mummy not very good at?

'Cricket'

13. What is Mummy’s job?

'A writer'

14. What makes you proud of Mummy?

'She works hard and she never gives up on her dreams'

15. What is Mummy’s favourite food?

'Pasta' (correct)

16. What do you & Mummy do together?

'Go for dinner'

17. How are you & Mummy the same?

'We both love hugs and kisses and we both have green eyes'

18. If your Mummy was a character who would she be?

'The mum from Stranger Things'

19. How are you & Mummy different?

'You're not great at football'

20. How do you know Mummy loves you?

'You give me hugs and kisses, you cook for me, spend money on me and kiss me goodnight every night'

21. What does Mummy like best about Daddy?

'His personality'

22. Where is Mummy’s favourite place to go?

'Bed' (Good answer)

23. How old was Mummy when she had you?

37 (Close!)

So basically it's all about the kisses and cuddles. I might have this parenting lark sorted after all.

Perfect Paris

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Fri, 10 Nov 2017 17:36:00 +0000

Back when I was knee deep in nappies and struggling to breathe under the weight of three tiny tots (literally), I could have killed now-me with a death stare through the heart of the internet.

Go away. Leave me in my self-made hell of whingy kids and sleep deprivation. What a bitch.

I know. I get it. But it's not like I was just jumping on a plane to Paris at the drop of a hat. This trip was booked months and months ago, and looked forward to through many a rough day since. Does it help if I tell you that it really was a particularly tough few months leading up to this? No? Well let me just say that I needed this. Like, really needed this.

Right, so now that the guilty-me is out of the way - come and tiptoe around sunny Paris with me.

We went for a festival. The National. Run the Jewels. Kevin Morby. This is the Kit. It was full of young hipster Parisians, and very civilised . The people watching was almost as good as the music.

We stayed in a perfect little hotel just opposite the venue. Newly refurbished and cosy with a capitol Zzzz, it was hard to leave each day.

Except for the food. The food kept us moving.

There's a well known restaurant attached to teh hotel - 'Au Beouf Couronne'. All stiff white table cloths and red velvet seats. The steak was immense. The desserts tipped us over the edge. Watching the waiter passing by the table with an overflowing cheese board saw me curse the portion sizes. I guess I'll just have to go back..

Our days were spent wandering around Paris.

Black coffee and croissants, a quick hop on the Metro and then off to The Seine, The Eiffel Tower, L'Orangerie, Montematre, a river cruise here, a record shop there, and a few bistros along the way.

Mon Dieu!

He enjoyed himself I swear...

I know. I'm annoying. But if you get to plan a couple of days away - even if it takes you ten years to actually do it - head to Paris. You won't be disappointed.

Say hello on Instagram

1 year. 12 months. 365 days. I did it.

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 13:49:00 +0000

It's now one whole year since I gave up alcohol for what was supposed to be one month.

No one is more surprised than me to find myself here. I had absolutely no intention whatsoever in going off it for so long. 30 days was my agreed limit. A supportive gesture that surprised me with it's benefits. So much so that I decided to keep going to 365. And now here I am, pretty sure I'll never go back.

The funny thing about giving up alcohol is that everybody thinks you've got a back story. You're an alcoholic. You're sick. You're dying. Something terrible has happened. I still enjoy the fact that when you ask for a non-alcoholic beer in a bar or restaurant there's a pause ('Is she joking?'), and then a hurried, averted-eyes response - 'Of course, yes, no problem...' ('Oh my GOD she must be an alcho. Quick, act normal'). The truth of course is a lot more boring.

I stopped drinking for 30 days with my boyfriend. A challenge. A test to see what health benefits might occur. With the support of One Year No Beer this was more about the good things might come from it, rather than depriving ourselves. This mental shift was one of the most powerful things in making the experience so positive.

I became highly productive, brimming with energy. Skin, sleep and mood improved. Weekends were spent in the great outdoors instead of dragging myself around town with a faint headache and a desire for bedtime.

I painted the house, finished a diploma, completed the first draft of a book, did a triathlon, ran a sub-50-minute 10k race, hiked 120k of the camino, took to sunrise swimming, still went out, and learned a huge amount about myself while doing it.

Turns out you can accomplish lots of things when you're not drinking / hungover.

When you tell people you've stopped drinking, (and assure them that there's no tragic backstory), they always wonder whether you were a real drinker in the first place. I can assure you that I was. My typical week would be maybe half a bottle of wine midweek, a couple of beers one night of the weekend, and then a couple of beers and another half bottle of wine the next night. Of course some weekends were much heavier, though nothing 'worrying' in terms of what we all seem to consider normal these days. That will be a lot more than some of you, and a lot less than others.

I reckon I save at least €200 a month not drinking, that's about €2500 a year. Which would translate into a pretty amazing holiday if you were so inclined. Me? I started a pension plan instead. So yeah, who says not drinking makes you boring?

Do I still get stressed about things? Certainly. But I'm now more likely to reach for the running shoes rather than the bottle to relax. Do I still get cravings? Occasionally I'll eye up a glass of red wine and consider 'just one'. But really there's no such thing. A year after giving up, I no longer agonise over the decision of whether or not I will drink again. I've gained more from giving it up than anything I might have lost. This quote seems more and more apt the further down the road I go. It's just easier to not drink 100% of the time.

The weirdest thing about the whole experience is that the spell of alcohol is suddenly broken, and you see it for what it is. I'm not here to lecture anyone about the merits or dangers of drink, but a conversation with your kids about it is highly recommended. With little prompting mine came out with nuggets such as 'Grown ups are scary when they're drunk'; 'They become like different people'; 'Everyone is loud and stupid'. Hmm.

Society has normalised our drinking habits to such a degree that to not drink is considered to be weird, boring, suspicious. But it's worth breaking the spell just once in your adult life, so that you can look from the other side of the fence with a clear mind and then decide which field you want to set up camp in. You might be as surprised as I am with your choice.

Summer 2017. Where did that go?

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Fri, 18 Aug 2017 13:35:00 +0000

Summer loving, loving Summer.

It's my favourite season. The time when ankle boots are kicked to the curb and flip flops and bare feet take centre stage. For the past few months my toes have had a love affair with a battered pair of Haviana's, barely flirting with anything else on offer.

But now the school books have been purchased and the jumpers are starting to come out more frequently. The hardly noticed shorter evenings and slightly later sunrises are creeping up, and it has to be admitted - summertime is almost over.

June was a blur of primary school leaving parties, celebrations and uniformed swims. The eldest moves on to secondary this year and we all took a gulp as she waved goodbye at the school gates she first entered so many years ago.

July was kids clubs, travel and birthdays. I hiked 120k of the Camino in Spain, while the kids and their Dad had old fashioned fun in West Cork, with fishing nets, stray dogs and Graham Norton..

August has been the month I sampled and fell for sunrise swimming. Who knew that there was something I'd be willing to get out of bed at 5.30 for..? Amazing. The kids have even got in on the action.

I've also been training for a triathlon, just one week to go now.

We've spent weeks strolling up and down to the beach for sea swims in every weather. We've done sleepovers, glamping, backyard camping, rabbit adopting, beach movies, horse riding, stone skimming, trampolining, cooking, festivals, and of course - plenty of boredom.

I had intended to write about all of our trips and adventures, but blogging seems to have taken a back seat for the summer months. Too much 'Life' to squeeze in, but too many memories not to record some of it. So this little recap will have to do.

Plenty of time for more during the darker days and colder weather.

See you then.

The Dancer

noreply@blogger.com (Kate) — Wed, 21 Jun 2017 18:20:00 +0000

‘Sean. Wake up. She’s out there again.’

Lucy’s husband rolled over under the duvet and moaned.

‘Do you think we should go out to her?’ she whispered, peaking through the flimsy curtains into the garden next door.

‘What’s she doing this time?’ he asked sleepily, more interested in his return to dreams than the latest antics of their aged neighbour.

‘She’s in her nighty and she’s twirling around on the grass. I think… I think she’s dancing.’

‘Just leave her to it. She’s as mad as a box of frogs Lucy’.

‘I feel bad for her though. She looks so frail and graceful out there in the darkness all alone’.

Lucy continued to watch her neighbour’s movements. She opened the window a little and heard the old woman with the long grey hair and white flowing nightdress calling to the non-existent birds around her.

‘Rodolfo! Rodolfo! It’s time now! Are you there Bernard?’

Lydia tied up her ballet shoes and stretched out on the barre. The feeling was magical. Every day could be a good day after pulling your body to life. She studied herself in the mirror. Long limbs, and golden hair stretched back in a tight bun. The other girls in the room bent and leapt beside her. Each one as graceful as the next. Beautiful creatures.

Bernard would be coming to see the show tonight. After every performance he brought her flowers with a note nestled in them - ‘To my darling Lydia. I couldn’t be prouder. All my love forever, Bernard.’ She smiled as she thought of him. It wouldn’t be long now until he officially asked her.

When the dancers took their afternoon break, Lydia walked quickly down to the café on the corner to meet him. She still got a thrill walking through the streets of London. She had thought she was a big city girl before she moved here, but within a day she had realised how parochial Dublin was. She looked up at the sky and felt the warmth of the sun on her face.

A collision sent her back-stepping into the path of busy shoppers.

‘Oh! Are you alright miss?’ His deep brown eyes looked into hers, and for a moment she was lost.

‘My fault, my fault, I am so sorry. You are ok?’

She thought the accent was Italian, but couldn’t be sure. All she knew was that she wanted to hear more.

‘I’m fine. I think it may have been my fault actually’. She looked up to the sky in explanation and was surprised to see him smiling warmly at her when her gaze returned.

Within minutes they were settled into a booth in an American style diner, and he was telling her how he had ended up in England after the war. She told him about how her parents had used all their savings to send her to London to become a ballet star, and how she was already making it after less than a year here. Of course she was still only in the chorus, but she was getting closer every day. He was enthralled and begged her to let him come to watch. It was only then that she thought of Bernard. Poor, sweet, loyal Bernard, who must be wondering what had happened to her.

‘I’ll leave a ticket for you at the door. I suppose you better tell me your name, hadn’t you?’

‘It’s Rodolfo. After my great, great grandfather. Family is numero uno for true Italians.’ He held up one index finger to make the point, then gently leaned forward and stroked her cheek with it.

As she skipped back to the theatre she wondered why she had never felt that same thrill when Bernard touched her. The pull was undeniable, all she wanted was to reach out and touch him back. Rodolfo. She said it to herself again, rolling it off her tongue in delight.

After the show, amid the flurried footsteps and laughter of other dancers, she received the flowers.

‘You were amazing. I must see you again. Meet me tomorrow night. I will wait for you. Rodolfo.’

Bernard didn’t understand why she was spending less and less time with him. When he asked in desperation if she would marry him, she could do no more than shake her head and give him a soft kiss on the cheek. Poor Bernard.

Their romance was the thing of movies. Long kisses and passionate embraces that sometimes went too far. But it didn’t matter because they were so in love. Rodolfo was ecstatic. He couldn’t wait for her to meet his Mama and sisters. Did she know it was all girls in his family? His father had left when they were young, and his five sisters had helped raise him. And Italy! Wait until she saw Italy! They would go to Florence on their honeymoon. It was like nowhere else on earth. Too beautiful to describe. As beautiful as her even! They would have - what? Four? Five children? They would all have his brown skin and her cheekbones. Bellisima!

Her family had all come over from Ireland for the wedding. Excited and impressed by the suddenness of it all. Her mother wore the biggest hat Clery’s had available, and her father the proudest smile in the church.

Lydia stood at the bottom of the aisle in the prettiest three-quarter length white dress, flared at the waist to show off her still-perfect figure. ‘Bellisima!’ he would whisper when he leaned in to kiss her neck.

It was only when she saw the worried glances fly between the guests that she thought something might be wrong. Had the rings been forgotten? Was somebody ill? Her father looked at his watch again.

Lydia sat without moving, staring at the crucifix ahead as chaos echoed around her. They said her father and brother had to pull her from the pew. White flowers scattered in the aisle as they dragged her out.

She never did hear from him again.

Lucy closed the curtains and got back into bed. ‘Poor old thing’, she sighed, as she nestled into her husband’s warm back, 'I wonder what happened to her to make her so crazy'.

This story is fictional. Inspired by an old neighbour and the need to take a break from the novel writing.