Katrina's Joy - Share, Grow, Embrace & Discover

Ten Years

katrina — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 10:21:36 -0500

There are many accomplishments in my life for which I am proud. My academic accomplishments and awards were the high points of my childhood.

I am proud of my engineering and computer science degrees and my eight promotions/advancements at Bell Atlantic/Verizon. And in spite of how difficult it became at times, I am proud of my many contributions within YOBU, Revolutionary Workers League, National Organization for Women, Washington Peace Center, Sojourner Truth Congregation of Unitarian Universalists, and Reclaiming.

I am proud of Dark Flame Coven, Reflections Mystery School, and my web design company, Amber Eyes Solutions. Hell, I am even proud of this blog, Katrina’s Joy.

But besides my corporate career (25 years) and my coven (14 years), my longest running project is Connect DC.

Back in 1998, Dark Flame Coven was notorious only because we were public. This is surprising when you realize that we have never had more than six members. I am not sure, but I think we had already been on the front page of the Washington Post and had been invited to do ritual at several local Unitarian Universalist churches.

But it was after I attended the Reclaiming Spring Equinox ritual in San Francisco, that I felt Dark Flame could do more. So in the summer of 1998, I cajoled Dark Flame plus members of other covens, several Radical Fairies and a few radical feminists friends such as Dr. Loraine Hutchins to join me in Eric Eldritch’s living room to plan our public celebration of the Summer Solstice right here in DC. We pulled together a ritual on a rooftop with a few small theatrics ending with the presentation of the Sun cake by my coven sister Rose and her Radical Fairy brother Nicko. It was glorious!

It was after noting the discomfort of a coven member plus several of the invited covens, that I decided to pursue my dream as a separate public ritual group. And so it was after our public Summer Solstice ritual that I began to plan for what became known as the original working of Connect DC.

Next Spring will be Connect DC’s ten-year anniversary. But yesterday’s ritual on the mall was the ten-year anniversary of my test run. Next year we will celebrate in public, but right now, I am celebrating the manifestation of a vision and the realization of a dream ... my dream … come true. And for me, this is a source of great pride.

Thank you to Dark Flame and the entire DC community, and of course, a hearty thank you especially to the ancestors and the gods.

A grateful Katrina

Water Water Everywhere

katrina — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 23:32:00 -0500

I had promised to share how my spiritual path influences my day to day productivity. A key part of my practice is dream work. This is how I tailor my journey based on the clues within my dreams.

I hope to share more of this process in the future.

blessings,
Katrina

Water, Water, Everywhere

That was the beginning of a recent dream. I am surrounded by water as far as the eye can see. That is exactly how I felt over the last few months, but it was only the beginning of this dream, so there is much more to this image than meets the eye.

Water and eyes, an interesting combination in the preceding paragraph. Simplistic dream amplification would lead to emotions and awareness. There is more to the emotions that are overflowing within me than I am aware of at the moment. Which makes sense to my waking self. Because dreams do not simply illustrate what is known, it expands and deepens one’s self-awareness – hell it often explodes self-delusions and exposes what is unknown or hidden.

The next part of the dream seemed incongruent with the first part; I am at a gathering filled with song along with all these wonderfully incredible people. It was glorious. And then it was time for me to leave. So I began gathering my belongings. As I was leaving, I could still hear the song, but I no longer knew the words. As I left, I became very sad.

Singing for me is bliss, and within my dreams, it has always symbolized beauty, peace and sweetness. And a gathering calls to mind the pulling together of what had been separate. So a gathering filled with song seems like a poetic description of where I found myself briefly after this last bit of underworld work. But then, I had to leave. Why?

The next part of the dream was my perennial search for my car – my drive, my ambition, my focus, and my spark. This incredibly beautiful dark man in a hotel uniform began trying to help me. He wore this most inexplicably beautiful pink shirt under his jacket. I have seen that pink before. In the dream, I knew it meant something important. But as usual, I became obsessed with finding my car, and he finally gave up and left me. And the dream ended with me wandering through the city hopelessly lost, trying to find my way home.

It hit me as soon as I wrote this last part into my journal. I left the gathering filled with song because I thought I needed to get back to work. And I have been working almost non-stop for the last month.

So I sit with the images from the dream. I notice that at times, I have no idea what is happening or what there is to do. And at those times where everything seems distant, deep inside I feel nothing. I sit staring out the window, not lost in thought, but feeling completely and totally blank inside. I keep looking at my lists and projects, searching for inspiration. It is as if I am lost – bingo!

So in the last few days, I have allowed myself to flow. I skipped the goal setting part of my weekly planning process this past Monday, and just let things flow after a thorough review. I seem to spend more time truly lost in thought, but I find myself doing what is really important. The truly important things get my attention without effort. It is as if I am being helped somehow. I smile remembering the dark man in the pink shirt, thank goodness he returned.

I do not know if it is just a phase or a new way of working for me long term. I only know that my dreams were pretty clear about my getting lost when I left the gathering filled with song. So now my plan is to go with the flow, and maybe just maybe, I will hear that beautiful song once again.

Katrina

One Bear at a Time

katrina — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 12:13:10 -0500

I am participating in a fundraising campaign to benefit abandoned children in Nigeria who have been accused of witchcraft by their families and neighbors.

As part of this campaign, I am knitting 10 stuffed bears to be sent directly to a shelter in Nigeria that works to house, feed, clothe, and educate these kids. I also have a personal fundraising goal of $5000 to donate to Stepping Stones Nigeria, a UK-based organization that sponsors this shelter.

Please help me to make my goal in one of the following ways:

Make a one-time donation either by check or on-line
Sponsor my bears by donating a specific amount per bear that I complete
Donate a set amount to the cause each pay period through the remaining months of this campaign

If you would like to donate by check, please make it out to the Chesapeake Pagan Community or CPC and send it to me at the address below. If you would like to donate online, go to http://charity.becomingdc.org. You can then donate via PayPal. Please send me an email letting me know how much you donated, so I can apply that to my fundraising goal. All monies collected will be sent via Chesapeake Pagan Community to Stepping Stones Nigeria at the end of September.

Together, we can make a difference in these children's lives.

Blessings,
Katrina

Katrina Messenger
PO Box 5223
Takoma Park, MD 20913
USA

If you would like more information about this issue, there are links to articles and the organizations at http://charity.becomingdc.org/.

At Long Last, an Update

katrina — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 09:40:15 -0500

I feel like I have been remiss in not posting about this sooner. But I want to thank everyone who kept me in their prayers as I delved deeply into some of my most painful memories. I am feeling so much better, stronger even, and I know it was in no small part, due to the love that buoyed, lifted and held me as I slowly healed and grew. Thank you.

I am also marveling at how my life has so much less drama. I am not a drama queen by any stretch of the imagination, but the complexity of my life has gone down appreciably. I mean I still have way too many irons in the fire, and my to do list would choke most over achievers, but I feel so much lighter and less encumbered, that it doesn’t fill me with dread. Even when my mail piled up for two weeks, the pile itself did not develop a persona. I noticed that it didn’t make a sound, no screaming accusations, no withering retorts – it was just a pile of mail. So when I finally sifted through the pile, it was just a boring chore, not a litany of abuse and condemnation. Wow.

I also recently realized that the reason my epic to do list bothers me so much was because I feared that I would never be done with it all. Because I had some how convinced myself that I could not possibly relax till I was done. I realized that it was a message left over from my childhood – “You cannot play till your chores are done” – that was messing with my ability to relax and enjoy life. So I needed to exorcise that fundamental belief.

I may never be done with my list, but as some point I will be done with my life. So I asked myself, “What on that list did I not want to leave undone when I crossed beyond the veil?” And the answer came back crystal clear -- my books and my writings. And it hit me, that is the one area that gets short shrift because of all I felt I needed to do. That was an instructive exercise for me.

And surprisingly, guess what I discovered when I looked carefully at my book … it is practically done. What is left is writing up intros and summaries for some of the chapters plus the book as a whole. Additionally I need to rewrite one small section where I wrote up a summary of morphic resonance based on my faulty memory. Wow, again.

In the mean time, I have achieved several goals from my annual list. I have two new pairs of prescription glasses – regular and sunglasses. My web design business is booming. Focusing on the "web guy" was the solution. Which means setting my marketing goals was the key to my success. And even more ... Wow.

I am saving some money, but aside from Amber Eyes, my income is kind of flat this year as rising energy costs are affecting attendance at my local classes and all my out town gigs.

I have had enough openness in my schedule to spend time with both new acquaintances and old friends. I even got to see Ironman at the theater! Tonight, I have organized a group of budding film snobs to go with me to the AFI to see an acclaimed Korean film, The King and the Clown. I hoping to see both the new Indiana Jones and The Fall in a theater. And my Hard K club is busy trying to book a night out for all of us at Dave & Busters.

My hair is super short again, which makes it easier to keep up with my schedule. And before the heat wave I was walking a mile twice a week. My lights went out for just under 24 hours last week, but I did not lose any of my recently purchased frozen food.

I had an unexpected Vet expense at the end of last week, when Lil’ Devi fractured several bones in his left paw falling from the top of the fridge. But he seems none the worse for it. Hell, he can still out run me, leap into trouble and piss off the calico while holding said paw delicately in the air. Go Devi!

All in all, I am doing okay. And my life has a rhythm and rhyme that fits me just right at the moment. So although Mercury has not been kind, so far it has mostly been gentle learning opportunities. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

May your burdens lighten, may your heart be filled. May the blossoms you love turn toward the spaces where you dwell.

Blessings,
Katrina

On the Trail ...

katrina — Fri, 16 May 2008 12:31:41 -0500

Shadow stalking can be an exhilarating sport. My quarry is leery of being seen much less being cornered. The chase can seem thrilling, especially when I am getting close.

It throws up all these distractions …

”Why are you doing *this*? You could be watching TV. You like TV right?” Or …

What if that car exploded and then ….the resulting gas cloud was ignited by *this* candle and … it fried half of the block?” And …

"What if a car careened from the road and headed right for these trees while you were gazing at *this* stream and listening to its water?”

It stalks me, even as I follow its trail. Booby traps filled with emotional triggers, hidden pits of despair and grief, and poisonous self-talk all are weapons at its disposal. All I am armed with is the light of awareness, and it is all I need.

Hey! If I can see you clearly, you are mine!

And lately, let’s face it, your tactics have taken on the stink of desperation – I must be close. When I catch glimpses of you, you seem nervous and twitch at every sound. And I am getting closer everyday.

Your armory is well stocked, and your stealth knows no limits. And you have escaped me for many, many years. But as soon as I can see you, you begin to weaken. Every time you escape me now, just hastens the day when I will have you squarely in my sights.

And on that day, I will pull out my trusty journal and draw your image with words. And with each detail I capture, you will become pinned to the canvas of the page.

There, I will remove your mask and peal away all your disguises. And there I will uncover your real name and then … you will be mine.

Then … we will embrace, join hands and dance joyously together. It will be so wonderful, so beautiful, we will both cry with delight and relief.

But till then, you better run and you better hide … because I can see you and baby … the hunt is on!

©2008 Katrina Messenger

Little Girl Lost

katrina — Wed, 14 May 2008 12:42:41 -0500

May your burdens lighten
May your heart be filled
May the blossoms you love
Turn toward the spaces where you dwell

And so I walk to where she dwells, that small weeping child in the darkness. She sits huddled over and shivering. I can hear her light sobs punctuated by the movement of her tiny shoulders.

Her clothes are dirty and torn. Her feet are covered with decades of grime and filth. Her eyes, when I can see them are filled with such agony and fear.

At first I try to embrace her, holding her against me so as to warm and reassure. But it is not nearly enough for so many years of pain, terror and despair.

So I get up. I start collecting twigs, branches, bark and dried leaves. I drop them in a pile just a little ways in front of where she sits. She is startled each time I drop another bundle.

Slowly as I sit sorting the wood from the kindling, creating piles from the quick start to the long lasting, she dares a peek.

Yes! She is still curious, that is a good sign. She watches me now through her fingers as I begin building the tripod that will later receive the fresh fire.

I pull out my fire kit and begin striking the steel against the flint. Her eyes glow with excitement when the spark hits the char cloth, igniting the shredded rope. As I place the fire bundle into the tripod, she sits up to watch. Slowly she exhales as I blow into the building flames. Quickly but deliberately, I add twigs, then branches till finally I can add the long burning log.

She has stopped crying and now I can see her small tortured face. Her cheeks are clean from all the tears but all else needs a good scrubbing. Her hair is matted but I can still make out what had been her tender baby curls.

I pick up the ready blanket and wrap it around her narrow shoulders. She looks at me with such trepidation yes, but also I can see the glimmer of hope.

I pour water into my camp mug and offer it to her. She grabs it quickly and downs it completely. I refill the mug, holding it lightly and lift it slowly to her mouth. One sip, then another, and her eyes flicker with understanding as she sips slowly as I leave the mug cupped in her small hands.

I pull out the soup and the bread, as I begin preparing her meal. I catch her looking at me with such raw emotion that it tears at my heart. By the time I offer her the meal, we are both crying … again. But this time the tears are not so bitter.

Slowly I lay out the pad then the sleeping bag, as I help her to lie down for her first real rest in years. At daybreak, we will return home … together. But tonight she gets to finally sleep and hopefully begin anew to dream the dreams of the innocent … while I keep vigil throughout the night.

©2008 Katrina Messenger

Laying The Burden Down

katrina — Sat, 03 May 2008 14:53:49 -0500

I guess it is time for me to come out of hiding. It has been a hellish period in many ways, but I think I have finally turned a corner. So I am peeking out and coming up for air.

It is often difficult to explain a descent into the underworld to those who have not been blessed with a visit, but I kind of expect that those that bother to read my rants are somewhat familiar with the terrain.

I went down. Or rather, I came up. Or … I have been on a hellish journey.

Sometimes I feel like I need to say the following words as preface to my storytelling -- None of what follows is metaphor.

“I’ve been ‘buked, I’ve been scorned, I‘ve been talked about sure as you’re born.”

That is a refrain from a song by my friend Evelyn Harris, formerly of Sweet Honey in the Rock. It is a refrain that can be sung by most black women, yes. But for me it spoke volumes.

Sometimes, there is a terror so deep, it can take almost 30 years to build up enough strength to face it. Over the last several months, I came face to face with such a terror.

[…breathe] … In the mid seventies I was a member of a group infiltrated by the FBI’s counter intelligence program otherwise known as COINTELPRO. Their usual tactics included seeding dissension and causing miscommunication. In the movement where I was a member, they created a climate of fear and paranoia. This produced a whirlwind of violence, hysteria and endless purges.

Because of my PTSD, I am no longer sure of exactly when it happened. Let’s just say that the year was either 1975 or 1976. I think it was during the month of October.

So […breathe] … in October of 1975 or 1976, I was beaten, tortured and abandoned in an industrial area overnight somewhere in New York City.

That sentence above says it all, but it says nothing. I have shared this information before, most notably within the pages of Modern Pagans. But what I had not shared was the sheer impact of the abuse and just how young I was emotionally. Whenever I have shared this story, I always made sure to say it matter-of-factly, so as to appear tough and strong. What I was hiding was just how terrifying it was to be left out in the dark, hundreds of miles from home, with god knows what scurrying about in the darkness, and left alone by people who only days earlier had been my family, clan, kin and comrades.

In some ways it was a relief. I had already suffered countless hours of terror and physical abuse, where the psychological aspects of the torture were in fact the most painful and long lasting. Followed by hours of being locked up in a dark room filled with weeping and bleeding victims. I was finally rousted up and dragged from the room by the very people who had accompanied me from DC. I was thrown into a car and driven to an unknown location where I was even threatened for daring to look out a window along the way.

I stood in the darkness, in shock, watching as the car pulled away. At least the torture and accusations were over, that is how I initially felt. Then the stark reality dawned on me that I had no idea where I was and I had nothing to defend myself. I spent the night crying, huddled on a bench under a flickering streetlight, shivering with fear. I had money, but I was so traumatized, I was afraid to call anyone from the lone phone booth less than a hundred yards away.

When morning finally came, the dark shapes receded and revealed an industrial area filled with skulking warehouses. The day light also revealed just how desolate and unforgiving my site of abandonment had been. Slowly the area began to crawl with life, and a shuttered low building became a greasy spoon catering to the early morning denizens of this place. I bought some food and got up enough nerve to use the phone booth.

I did what any frightened child would do; I called my mother. Coming from a family of psychics, my poor mother had been up all night – she knew one of her children was in danger. A bit later, after the ghetto network of my family was activated, my New York cousin, Mary, called me back. Less than two hours later, I stepped off a transit bus into her welcoming arms and was on my way to her home for a bath and meal.

Over the next several months, I was suicidal, depressed and listless. It was during those months of despair that I made my unholy vow. I had somehow decided that in an incident where I had clearly been the victim (along with countless others), that it was all somehow my fault. Not the fault of the people who abandoned me in the darkness, or the fault of the people who had beat me, tortured me and betrayed my trust. No. I had obviously done something to deserve such brutality, I had failed and so I steeled myself to never fail again.

And so I shut off my outrage, my anger, my fear, my grief, and my terror -- I toughened up.

But over these past several months, all that toughness dissolved within the supportive container of my coven, my healers and my dear, dear friends. And I let it all go and I finally broke down. I finally experienced all of the terror, grief, and outrage I refused to feel all those years ago. I am in fact still experiencing it. And so it has been difficult to write, read, sing, dance, eat, sleep, walk, talk or even breathe without triggering thirty-year-old memories of sheer terror.

And yet … still I write, read, sing, dance, eat, sleep, walk, talk … and yes breathe. Because I have already given those brutish cowards more than thirty years of my silence … they will get no more.

And so I visit with my younger self often, and I sit with her in that dark and tormented place. I hold her in my arms and keep vigil throughout the night. Her pain and terror is real. I can still feel it in my flesh every single day.

And so today, I open my mouth and I say … I’ve been betrayed, I’ve been tortured, I have been abandoned, I’ve been raped, I’ve been abducted, I’ve been dragged out of my bed at gunpoint, I’ve been stalked, and I’ve been sexually abused by a Catholic priest. I say out loud all the pain I have been carrying in silence.

And so, as of today, I refuse to carry the shame and guilt that should have been carried by those gutless cowards. Yes, I have survived, but only just barely in many ways. Today, I will not toughen up. I will not soldier through. I will not walk it off. I have simply let go of a burden that should have never been mine in the first place.

Today, I may be mad as hell, and my heart is clearly broken. But being angry and broken hearted is not a detour, a distraction or a defect. My soul’s journey often seems circuitous even to me, but I am growing and healing with every step. I am not off the path; this is my path. And as Evelyn sang all those years ago, “I’m just going to keep on moving on.” My path, my journey continues.

Thanks for listening.
©2008 Katrina Messenger

Meme: Passion Quilt

katrina — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 11:21:02 -0500

Anne Hill tagged me for a meme called, Passion Quilt.
The rules of the meme are thus:

Post a picture or make/take/create your own that captures what YOU are most passionate for students to learn about.
Give your picture a short title.
Title your blog post “Meme: Passion Quilt.”
Link back to this blog entry.
Include links to 5 (or more) educators.

Where Now?Considering all the pain and misery I have been excavating from my body, passion till a few days ago was in short supply. Then it happened, what always happens, the myriad threads coalesced and suddenly what had seemed hopelessly unraveled became whole.

It all started with a catalog from the Pacifica Graduate Institute. I had an earlier one safely hidden in plain sight so I could pretend I was not looking at it longingly from across the room. Then just as that bit of denial started to “work”, damn if they did not send another, even more beautiful one, in the mail. It was bad enough that they sent me countless incredibly beautiful brochures for all their upcoming workshops, but now here in my hot little hands was a brand spanking new catalog of whispering dreams and dazzlingly promises all laid out for me to behold, lust over and with trembling hands, finger each page. So I did what any card carrying warrior mystic would do. I left it in its clear(!) envelope on the floor, under the chair, right where I could see it but not touch it.

And there it stayed till my coven sister Rose arrived, started laughing, and picked it up. Damn her! She then opened it and began turning the pages while I sat watching her with downcast eyes, murmuring profanities to myself.

“What’s that, Katrina?”

“Um, huh? Oh nothing …”

[laughter], “Un-huh?”

“Bitch!”

[laughter]

We then had one of those conversations about my hiding from an obvious message about my deep passion for myth, magick and mystery. And I finally succumbed and drank in the catalog with such delight, ecstasy and reverie.

And so over the next week, I investigated, reflected, journaled and prayed. And to the amusement of many of my close friends, I admitted that, yes I am a mystic who is passionate about myth, archetypes and deep mystery. And, that I need this pursuit in my life. And although I cannot afford the six-figure cost of a Pacifica doctorate in Mythological Studies (drool), I am not so sure I need the degree either.

It is a lot like my previous pursuit of a doctorate from MIT. Back in the nineties, I had similarly lusted over descriptions of the Ph.d program at the MIT Media Lab. I remembered how that interest led to my starting Amber Eyes. I did not need the Media Lab to pursue my interest in interactive technologies or to become a web designer.

I realize that Pacifica for me is a lot like MIT. It represents an unfulfilled passion. I could focus on the school or I could focus on the passion. Of course, if a full scholarship should suddenly drop into my lap, well guess who coming to California? And I will attend workshops, as I am able. But this lover of myth is going to make room in her life for the serious pursuit of her passion – Myths, Magick & Mystery. I will still gladly browse course offerings and other opportunities, but I am not putting this pursuit on hold because I cannot afford tuition – I will pursue this passion no matter what.

And this is what I am passionate about teaching my students. Follow your bliss, yes. But follow it, not the ways it gets your attention. Too often, I notice folks grabbing onto things, structures, techniques, titles and almost anything outside of themselves. I understand that it may seem essential especially for extroverts. But what I want my students to comprehend is that the true compass always lies within - not in your fears, your stories, your weaknesses or your projections, but in your passion. Follow your passion. And it will always point to your true north.

And I tag Chelidon, Ivo, Helena, Angela and Eridanus.

First Quarter Progress Report

katrina — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:12:08 -0500

Well, it is time for an update on my progress toward my annual goals. First off, I lost some time this past month due to a “growth” opportunity, i.e. a butt-kicking spiritual ordeal. And so as expected, I have had to modify my plan and push many of my first quarter goals forward and adjust the rest of my annual plan.

But here is the good news. I still managed to complete three goals and move forward on several others.

Completed Goals

Normal Blood Sugar (Glucose ~ 90)
Lowered Overall Cholesterol Levels (~ 200)
I haven’t read the lab report yet, but my doctor reports that my cholesterol levels are normal. Apparently, I needed medication to finish bringing down the bad cholesterol levels. So unless the report says otherwise, I am counting this as a win. My glucose levels were also on the mark, so I just need to continue with my current good habits. Yay!
Create Marketing Goals
I still need to schedule and add them to the plan, but here are my 2008 marketing goals.
1. Amber Eyes Marketing/Business Goals
  - Raise prices for web design to reflect my new hourly rate
  - Create templates, wire frame themes and a live test bed so I can build sites faster
  - Answer requests for short term Drupal assistance on local job boards
  - Attend networking events like the local Drupal Meetup
2. Outreach/Publicity Goals
  - Advertise Connect DC Rituals in Washington Post Religion section starting with Summer Solstice. (This has been in the works for a looong time!)
  - Create a Reflections Mystery School brochure
  - Advertise classes and rituals in local newsletters such as the Hill Rag, DC North, Takoma Voice, etc.
  - Advertise annual Reflections intensive in regional and national publications
  - Let more folks know that I am available for out of town classes, workshops, festivals and conferences.

April Goals

Several of my April goals are already underway, so I just need to focus on completing them.

Schedule Two Classes Or Workshops Out Of Town
I had three out-of-town classes in the pipeline last month, one was scheduled and another dropped. I am still waiting to see if the remaining class can be scheduled for this year or not. If I cheat (and c’mon, I set the rules!), I could count my sermon in Cumberland, MD this month as an out of town class. In which case, another completed goal! But I am still going to hold out and see if I can schedule another class.

File Taxes ~~Jan/Feb, No Extensions~~
Since I lost most of my open time in March, I may have to call my accountant and request an extension. It is not a big deal, especially since this year I think I did a better job in estimating my quarterly payments. I would still prefer to file them this month; it is just that I doubt I will make the deadline of the 15th.

Implement E-Commerce Solution On Two Sites
I have the ecommerce solution working on one site, but I am not satisfied with it yet. I want to test out two other solutions before deciding which one to use. I also have a new client (!) who needs an ecommerce solution – so this one will definitely move forward this month.

New Glasses
I have completed the research on my two vision plans – gotta love Fortune 100 retirement plans. I just need to pick which vision plan I will use and make the appointment.

Kitchen Sink & Water Filter
I am planning to use the money from my new client to fix the sinks in my kitchen and upstairs bathroom. But I have to wait till the check arrives.

Walk 30 Minutes Two Times A Week
And this is the month I begin the twice-weekly walks. I am waiting for warmer temperatures to ease my aching joints. I am thinking of adding the new walk on Sunday, Monday or Tuesday, since I normally walk after yoga on Thursday already.

Ongoing Goals

I also need to pay attention to some overall goals. I feel like I need to break them down somehow into smaller steps.

Openness In My Schedule So I Can Have A Social Life
The biggest issue so far is my having purposely overloaded the first quarter so I could have some free time later this quarter. I need to block out time for me so social connections are easier. I still managed to get social time each month, most notably spending quality time with my cohorts in the Hard-K club for our annual Hat Night celebration and doing some juicy magic with a couple of dear friends. More of the same, please!

% Of Proceeds To Cash Reserves
March is the month where I begin allocating a percentage of all proceeds to my reserves. I will do the allocation for last month when I reconcile my various accounts over the next week or so.

Baseline Weight Closer To ~200 Lbs
This goal sends shivers down my spine. My weight is pretty stable at the moment, so I am hoping the extra walking will help with this goal. I will re-evaluate my progress in this area in June and adjust accordingly.

All in all, a good start.

Creating Marketing Goals - 2

katrina — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 12:01:16 -0500

This is part two of my exercise in exploring setting marketing goals for 2008. In part 1, I explored what business I am in and what is my product versus my commodity. The larger story of this piece is my new series called Manifesting your Dreams which explores ways to bring your goals into manifestation. I plan to share my process and my progress throughout 2008.

I am no longer in the web design business. I am in the business of assisting web masters build web designs. At least that is my first blush at a new business direction. I discovered that what I really wanted was a design partner, a collaborator. I am currently testing out this theory with a good friend, P.

This is exactly what I was hoping for when I wrote my prescient hope, “I also am interested in more collaborative projects where I partner with graphic designers and theme developers for example.” And almost immediately after posting part 1 of this series P contacted me.

I built the XML to iCal application for P last summer. This time he asked me to help him pull together a web design proposal for one of his clients. We are waiting to hear back on that proposal and today he had another one he wanted to discuss with me. Yay!

This makes sense considering the marketing phrases Ishtar and I played around with earlier. I mean only web masters truly want to become web ninjas or web heroes. Almost everyone else just wants someone else to do it. This is what I discovered with a recent client, G. She wanted me to be her ongoing web hero, when all I was interested in was being a lone ranger, i.e. wham, bam, thank you Ma’am. And off into the sunset I would ride to face my next big challenge. Uh, the only people who truly appreciate that mode of operation are fellow geeks.

In my business plan I wrote exactly about the problem I am trying to solve without realizing their larger implications.

“Specifically, my customer is the web person within these organizations who are tired of hand crafting their site and want something easier to update and maintain. So the problem I am solving is the problem of keeping your site up to date easily.

Many folks have to hand off the updates to the web guy instead of just entering the new info themselves. And the web guy is spending a lot of time, cutting and pasting text into existing templates instead of finding new ways to improve the overall effectiveness of the site.”

Well guess what? My customer is that guy, y’know, the web guy. And P is a web guy. He is a web ninja and web hero to several organizations. And P needs my help.

What I also rediscovered is how much I like working with creative people, especially creative geeks.

So my marketing goals so far involve several actual business goals, like raising my prices. But I also need to call in P or folks like him when I get customers like G. So building a network of web designers to call on plus advertising my services to web people makes a lot more sense.

Amber Eyes Marketing/Business Goals (first draft)

Raise prices to reflect my hourly rates
Write more technical blogs to attract web folks as readers
Create templates, wire frame themes and a live test bed so I can build sites faster
Answer requests for short term Drupal assistance on local job boards
Attend networking events like the local Drupal Meetup

This whole process has illuminated another hole in my marketing plans. I need to consider marketing for Reflections, Connect DC and Katrina Messenger as well. Most folks would prefer to call it outreach or publicity instead of marketing in these instances, but that seems like a game of semantics to me.

I need to advertise outside of the purely pagan communities. Most of what the school offers is applicable to spiritual seekers of any faith. The public ritual group has been ripe for more publicity for several years. And I am not even going to mention the deep, dark pit of fear associated with putting my name more out there, but it is needed nonetheless. sigh ...

And so, I am making (gulp!) marketing goals for the other side of my life as well.

Outreach/Publicity Goals (first draft)

Advertise Connect DC Rituals in Washington Post Religion section starting with Summer Solstice. (This has been in the works for a looong time!)
Create winter and spring brochures of Reflections public classes
Create a Reflections Mystery School brochure
Post the Connect DC Palm Cards at local establishments
Advertise classes and rituals in local newsletters such as the Hill Rag, DC North, Takoma Voice, etc.
Advertise annual Reflections intensive in regional and national publications
Let more folks know that I am available for out of town classes, workshops, festivals and conferences.
Do public readings of material as I finish my (damn!) book

Of course several of these Outreach, Publicity and Marketing goals have costs associated with them, so I will need to set a marketing budget for each area. I also need to identify which of these goals I will commit to for this year.

And finally, I have resolved a dilemma that haunted me for a while. I decided that I am a shaman who does web design on the side, and not a web designer who is a shaman on the side. My motto is more like, “Chop code, carry water”. Hah! Go ahead and moan. It works for me AND is kind of twisted at the same time – perfecto!