I do owe everyone a big apology. Over a month without blogging is really inexcusable, especially considering I didn’t have any major crises in the month of November, unless we’re counting the fact that I turned 34 years old.

How did that happen? I’m 34? I’m in my mid-thirties, people. Like, squarely in my mid-thirties. I got a Sonicare toothbrush and my carpets professionally cleaned for my birthday, and both gifts were exactly what I wanted. That’s not right. I fear what will be on my list when I turn 35, much less 40.

Um, no offense to those of you 40 and over. You’re all young and sprightly, just as I will be once I achieve your age, I’m sure. Just don’t tell that to my knees.

I did determine that my 34th year would be my year (to steal a phrase from Justin Timberlake) to bring sexy back. Yeah I did. I’m confident about a lot of things. I’m funny, for instance. I know this. I’m a great friend. Also a true statement. I’m extremely gifted at not keeping things organized. Very accurate. However, the mojo went and disappeared years ago, and I want her back.

So, here’s hoping that this year, I can go back to being the girl who has the self-confidence to know that she deserves to put herself first. She deserves to look good, feel good, and be spoiled from time to time. And she needs to learn how to switch from first person to third person in a blog entry without confusing herself…myself…whatever.

I have a ton of poetry to write before the end of the semester, which is a mere sneeze away.

I must say, being an online student means not being impeded by inclement weather. Damn.

It’s been so unbelievably dreary outside today. It’s like the weather gods are taunting us, letting us know that bad things are in store. The temperature right now? 57. But the sky is grey and just kind of hanging there. If depression looked like weather, it’d look like this. Tomorrow? The high is 32.

My kid needs a winter hat. So tonight, either I go into hyper-knit mode and whip something up, or she goes to daycare tomorrow in an enormous hat that fits my husband’s ginormous noggin. Thankfully, I have enough yarn to knit a Snuggie, much less a toddler hat, so I think I’ll be set.

In unrelated news, I ate my weight in Swedish Fish today. In retrospect, that was an error on my part. Ugh.

Found out today my daughter has the dreaded swine flu. So, it’s here. And the weird thing? I’m actually relieved. I can stop panicking about it now. I can deal with it and move on with my life.

Still behind with school, but I’ve spoken with all my teachers and they have been beyond understanding. I like knowing that I’m working with compassionate humans.

Let’s see, what else is going on? Well, I’ve fallen in love with Glee on television, and I’m somewhat obsessed with So You Think You Can Dance. My husband and I are already starting to plan the menu for Thanksgiving (it’s my favorite holiday), and Christmas plans are in the works. Work has been crazy lately, but good. I don’t get enough sleep. I watched The Proposal yesterday and my crush on Ryan Reynolds grew a little bit larger. I spend too much time on Facebook. Looks like I’ll be doing another improv show at the end of November. I’ve been knitting a lot more lately. There you go.

I really need to write in here more. Being quarantined at home may be just what I need in order to pump out some actual stuff on here. Here’s hoping!

I apologize for my disappearance. My mother-in-law passed away at the end of September, two weeks after our visit. The day we arrived in Kansas City for her memorial, we learned that one of my brothers-in-law had been in a horrible car accident; he died a few hours after we first heard the news. So, as you can imagine, my family went into crisis mode. So much sadness. We wound up having to spend extra time in KC to make sense of things.

The good news is that we were able to be with Brian’s family (Brian is my husband – FYI). He was the one to tell his father about Richard, his eldest son. We were able to grieve with people who knew his brother and his mother. And, we got to see friends who had no qualms with swooping in and taking care of us.

I will say this: Trying to find a hotel in KC on the same weekend as a NASCAR race, The American Royal, a K-State/Iowa State game, and …hell, something else, well, it’s near impossible.

At this point, I’m horribly behind in school. I’ve been avoiding it because I’m so scared about the ramifications of a ruined semester. Have I mentioned I have an anxiety disorder? Welcome to my unfunny post. I have a very severe anxiety disorder. So, crisis upon crisis upon anxiety = paralysis. It stinks. Merely writing this entry today was my first step toward getting things back on track. I was afraid even to log in, as ridiculous as that sounds.

But, I did log in today, so that absolutely counts for something. My husband and my daughter are both OK, which also counts for something. The car that appeared to have broken down on Saturday when it was stupid cold is not going to require thousands of dollars in repair – also good. And people are nice. The kindness and generosity that has poured out to my family since all this fell into our lap two weeks ago has been astounding. So, if you’re reading this and happened to have been a part of all that kindness and generosity – thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Keep throwing good thoughts this way – we need them.

Next step is to salvage my fall semester. Wish me luck.

GASP.

So yeah, she’s 30, he’s 25. They’ve gone out twice so far, but going out doesn’t realy translate to “going out.” They’ve hung out two times now. He informed her yesterday that evidently, this means they’re now dating.

It does? They haven’t gone on a date yet, but they’re dating? Is this a 25 thing? Or is it like middle school when folks announced they were “going together” to all their friends?

He also told her in no uncertain terms that he wants to “take things slowly.” Now, I haven’t dated in quite some time, but when someone makes it a point to announce they want to take things slowly, what they really mean is that know they should take things slowly, but unless the other person involved puts on the brakes, things are going to move quickly. You know, once they start actually going on dates.

Sweet Jesus. Somebody on my team at work made homemade pumpkin bread that is so good I might actually weep. Hold me.

And look! New topic with no transition! So it got cold here in Denver this week – if the English Writing degree falls through, I’m definitely shooting for becoming a weatherman. I’m good at this. Anyway, I’m all excited because it means I get to wear fun sweaters my mother knit for me (shush – deep down, you know you’re jealous) and spend inordinate amounts of time perusing recipes for stews and baked goods.

Attempting to catch up with school work while my family continues to thwart my attempts by routinely getting sick. Ear infection number two for darling daughter and bronchitis for the husband? Sign us up! Woo hoo!

Oy. I need a weekend.

Why hello, raging guilt, nice to see you. Who wins the Mom of the Year award? Me! I do! I do!

After enduring several days of horrifyingly high fevers, we eventually made it through the worst of things. And then, we promptly hopped in the car and drove from Denver to Kansas City, because clearly, that’s the smart thing to do.

Actually, it was necessary. My husband’s parents are not well, and we needed to see them. Aging is hard. Watching people age is hard. His mother went into a nursing home on Monday – if you’re one who prays or would be willing just to send some good thoughts, I know she would appreciate them.

We saw several friends while in KC as well, which was nice, and thanks to the powers that be at priceline.com, we stayed in the swanky Hyatt Crown Center. The last time we pricelined our hotel in KC we also stayed there, but that particular trip corresponded with a massive anime convention; we were introduced to the concept of “cosplay.” Oy.

This time, fortunately, the stay was much quieter.

As far as school is concerned, I’m behind right now. We’ve had way too much illness plaguing the Atwell house, and it’s barely fall! I have papers to write, books to read, and stuff to knit.

OK, sure, the knitting has nothing to do with school, but whatever. I just sneezed all over myself. A pox on my sinuses.

Holy COW. My daughter is normally sweet and sunshiny and generally chipper. The past three days have been miserable. She won’t eat, won’t sleep, and has taken to just saying this over and over, “I want…!” Yeah, doesn’t finish the sentence. That’s not frustrating at all. 

She has turned down M&Ms, folks. It’s that bad.

Somewhat unrelated: I did attempt to use my little cam for a video entry, but as I looked like death warmed over, I opted instead to just film out of my windshield and give you a stunning view of 36 Highway while I was driving my daughter through a nap. The jury is still out as to whether or not I’ll post it here.

Here are some more pleasant things that have happened in the past week:

*My family discovered Berry Patch Farms in Brighton.

*We attended Taste of Colorado last weekend and I sang karaoke on the 103.5 karaoke stage.

*I found a really good recipe for a cold bean salad. Yes, I am so old at this point that good bean recipes are considered highlights.

Annnnnnnnnd that about does it. Next weekend brings a road trip to Kansas City to visit in-laws and attend an improv festival. I am hoping that by Friday, Lily’s damn teeth will be pushed through so that the wildly exciting drive across the plains of Kansas will be at least somewhat more tolerable. Viva I-70!

But really, this blog will get real old, real fast, if all I talk about is taking my classes online. So instead, today, I will talk about my commute home. I like to think I’m a polite person on the road. Sure, people piss me off from time to time, but overall, I think I’m pretty good behind the wheel.  Then again, no one ever thinks that they are the cause of any problems on the highway – it’s always someone else being the idiot. That being said, I never flip the bird, nor do I drop f-bombs. However, I have been known to utter other colorful names like, oh, I dunno, “assface,” for instance. However, I do so politely. This makes all the difference, as far as I’m concerned. An example:

Nice job on not using the thank you wave, assface!

Sidenote: My two-year old daughter has just locked herself in the bathroom with the lights off in there. Super. Hold, please.

Right then. The removal of one door knob, and she’s been freed. That was a first.

As I was saying, there is power and grace is the proper application of the thank you wave. When it’s not used, I become agitated. I mean, seriously, how hard is it just to hold your hand up in the air and acknowledge that, hey, you appreciate the fact that a fellow driver allowed you to merge? If I could ever be so bold as to promote a cause on Facebook, it would be to educate others about the thank you wave.The symbol could be the back of a car and a hand being seen waving through the rear window. Very marketable!

My daughter just dropped my new necklace into a cup of Kool-Aid. It’s going to be one of those nights.

I can’t seem to stay on one train of thought.

Get excited, a pocket video camera showed up today and I am going to start using it for blog purposes. Had we had it figured out sooner, you could have seen us springing Lily from the downstairs bathroom moments ago. I know. You’re crushed. Next time, I promise.

Did I mention my daughter starts daycare next week for the first time ever? She does. Hooboy.

My intention was to enroll in only six hours per semester. Now, with the two English courses I’ve snagged, in addition to the Philosophy course I’ve been enrolled in all along, I’m in nine hours. And I want to take all of them! Argh.

This morning, I dropped another one of the waitlisted classes, because I knew if I wound up enrolled in it, I would have a hard time dropping it later. There are SO MANY classes that appeal to me, which is a good problem to have, all things considered.

So now, I’m in nine hours, I’m still waitlisted for one more class that I need to take in order to conquer one of my more major prerequisites, and I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to balance all of it.

And in unrelated news, yesterday I walked directly into a wall in front of a whole slew of coworkers. Slammed my face right into it. Sleep deprivation is awesome.

Poop.

Let me say this: As an online student, I like to pretend that everything school-related can be done online. Not so, friends.

So, yesterday, upon arriving to work, I received my little online reminder that my advisor meeting was during my lunch hour, and  later in the morning when I went to check my paper calendar, I learned I’d left my planner at home. Super. Going to a meeting with an advisor with no calendar or note-takey thing.

Yet another sidenote: I just spent an inordinate amount of time outside in the hot sun wearing jeans, power walking to and from the central library from my office in order to boost my pedometer numbers. Forgive my use of phrases like “note-takey,” I may be suffering a tiny bit of heat stroke. SO HOT.

Anyway, I did manage to print off my unofficial transcript from the UCD website – a requirement for my meeting. Granted, I didn’t have a planner to slip it into beforehand, but I set it nearby for easy grabbing. When the clock struck noon (Do clocks really strike any more?), I grabbed the folded piece of paper, hauled myself into the parking garage and squealed out of there, intent on finding either an available parking space or a student-accessible lot. I had high hopes for neither.

Fortunately, fate decided to do me a favor and grant me 30 minutes of free street parking directly across from the light rail. I managed to arrive a few minutes ahead of time and the advisor was ready to sit down with me almost immediately. She requested my transcript and I proudly grabbed it out of my bag and opened it to hand it to her.

It was a recipe for couscous with mozzarella, tomatoes, and fresh basil. Haaaaaaaa. Grabbed the wrong thing off my desk. I was also meal planning earlier in the day, see. Whoops.

Fortunately,  my advisor was able to pull up my information on her laptop, and we were able to get down to business. She quickly clarified that no, the class I had enrolled in would not apply to my major (dammit), and at this point, all the online courses were closed. So, after learning about all of the classes I should enroll in going forward, I thanked her for her time, ran back to my car, and got back to work with 15 minutes to spare. This gave me time to log in and waitlist myself for five courses.

And now, the race is on to see which opens up first. In the meantime, I have since reunited with my planner and intend to make the couscous tomorrow. Did I mention I’m trying to lose forty pounds? I’m trying to lose forty pounds. Wish me luck. Oh, and if you want the recipe, let me know.