Keepin' Up With the Richards

Hensley's Birth Story

2015-12-23T16:19:00.003-08:00

40 Wks, 6 days. I was DONE. I'm sure that I had that desperate look in my eyes. My mind and my heart were struggling for patience to welcome a precious baby girl into our family. A year prior I was trying every natural herb to induce a miscarriage of our little one that had no heart beat at 15 weeks and nothing worked. Remembering what helplessness and lack of control I had during that time sure triggered a ball of emotions as I waited for labor to naturally start. I had been dilated and baby's head had been station 0/+1 for WEEKS.

it was exactly a month ago from today that I was in denial about it being my last day of Zwischen - that place "in between" that my burgeoning belly and heart were trying to accept The place in between where we were and where we would be-- carrying, laboring and mothering this new baby girl. (Read this article for more on Zwischen...it changed my perspective of being a lady in waiting).

The 22nd I looked desperately at my midwives and asked what natural things we could try. I had my membranes swept. I was fully effaced and 5.5 cm dilated. (I was like this with Ethan too before active labor started). That night I felt achy, crampy, and had occassional contractions that woke me up. But really, I didn't know if I was just dreaming them up. My contractions weren't consistent. I let my midwife know.

A part of the birth team came over and checked me. I was the SAME. No progress. Needless to say I was a little discouraged. My hips and back felt like they were on fire and my contractions were still coming every 15 minutes, sometimes skipping one and very sporadic. They took my concentration to relax every muscle in my body and go noodle but they didn't hurt too badly so I really didn't think it was actual labor.

So, I did the rational thing. I went into work. (my mom laughs at me, she asked me if I wanted to have the baby at MrBeaches). But I knew I couldn't just sneeze this kid out of me and that my body would know when it was the time that labor had started.

I had a chiro appointment that I had switched to a lower time. Ben switched a hair appointment to a lower time just in case. I got adjusted. He got his hairs did. We were ready for this child. But still not acting like THIS WAS IT.

So, we did the rational thing. Mom, dad, Ethan, Ben, & I went to Chickfila. "Over-due" prego woman's gotta eat. During the entire lunch my mom was writing down my contractions. My head would lower as I focused on relaxing. Sometimes I wouldn't know if it was really a contraction.

Then it hit me. 12:54pm.

I grabbed the table. Glared up and almost growled "We need to go NOOOW". I then stood up and my water broke. Thank goodness for thick pants and long cardigans. And that we brought 2 cars.

Ben and I rushed to our car. As we drove off, my contractions went to every 1 or 2 minutes. And these were the real deal. Ben called the birth team and drove as fast as we could home.

My parents came home to drop off my mom and I gave proper good bye to Ethan and let him know that he was going to have a sister soon.

My midwife was 20 plus minutes away. I was nervous bc I felt like I needed to push. She assured me that would not be a good idea. So I hopped in the bath.

3 little words - Jetted hot tub. Complete labor changer.

I followed orders and didn't push. When my team came and checked me I was a 9.5 and almost complete. I seriously thought I would wake up at some point and this would not be real.

Then it came -- that emotional sign post that it is transition. I felt like I couldn't take that intensity of the contractions anymore. My doula pushed on my hips to ease the pain but I didn't want to go on.

Midwife checked me and I was ready to push.

All of a sudden the pain shifted. I was completely clear between contractions. I was drinking water, laughing, and even asked Ben to run and get me a brownie energy bite from the kitchen inbetween pushing.

Pushing hurt much more than I remembered with Ethan. But I was more brave this time around and reached down to feel her head for some motivation that all this work was bringing forth something miraculous.

Her head crowned. Ring. of. fire. I looked up and asked my midwife -- "Is the rest going to hurt as bad?" In her usual fashion she looked at me and said in the nicest way possible, "Well, there are the shoulders and the rest of her, but you can do it."

2:34pm Hensley was here!

I could not believe it. I checked her anatomy and low and behold the 1 ultra sound was correct, I exclaimed "AND IT'S A GIRL". I brought her straight to my chest. She started exercising her vocal chords that we have come acquainted to hearing as she lets us know her opinions about things on this side of life.

7lb 8oz. 20 inches long.

Sweet sweet perfection. An absolute kiss from God.

I cleaned up and took my sweet baby to the bed. Ben and I stared in wonderment.

He makes all things new. What a difference from last year. Thank you Lord for protection during this birth! No hemorrhage (we had preventative measures in place since I bled so much after the miscarriage). I didn't bleed very much and unlike with Ethan, I didn't tear this time even though I was sure I did. I am so very grateful for a safe delivery. And my mom got to witness this all! All the Call the Midwife episodes paid off, lol. She was WONDERFUL to have and I'm very thankful baby girl decided to come when she did.

After Ethan woke from his nap, he came to meet his little sister. My parents had rented a place down the road since at the time they planned coming out for the birth, we hadn't moved into a bigger home with a guest room. It worked out perfectly because Ethan and Baca went to the rental during labor and delivery.

My 2 kids and my husband next to me. What an incredible experience? We were all smitten. I thought there was no way more love could come from me with another baby being added but it did! I looked at both of my kids and my incredible husband and soaked in that moment.

If a tree falls in the forest? Finding ignorant bliss in a hurting world.

2015-06-19T01:28:00.000-07:00

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound?
Written by Ben

(Disclaimer. I may curse in this update. If you had a day like this you might too. If you are so offended you can’t read this, perhaps you should intentionally put yourself in messier life situations and let yourself be pressed a bit more)

If you know me, you may know I have a phobia of the dentist. I get tense, I sweat, I forget to breathe. There is irony in the fact that I married into a family full of dentists. Prior to receiving Heather’s hand in marriage I had to undergo an oral exam. Joking. Kind of.

Today we hosted a dental clinic for over 30 kids with disabilities from remote rural-mountain villages in North India. We provided oral screenings and basic extractions. Oral hygiene is an issue for everyone here, however kids with disabilities are especially lacking. Bombed out teeth serve as just one more reminder that many of these kids are forgotten, even in their own homes. While I hate the dentist, I also know it's very important for the health of these kids. This was the first time most of these children had anyone looking at their teeth.

Damn. Today was a new type of hard. It's unnerving to know what steady love can prevent.

Heather and Mark screening and cleaning teeth

The screenings were great, even playful. Mark, my father in law, along with Heather and Heather’s mom, Lavonna, conducted the screenings. The kids loved it. Each walked away with a toothbrush and some toothpaste. Some kids walked away with an additional gift, a referral slip, though I am certain the kids would say it was a Trojan horse. The slips showed which teeth were to come out.

The procedure area was the last room I wanted to spend my day. However, by default and then personal choice, I stayed. I knew it would be rough, and I felt wrong asking someone else to take my spot because I wanted to avoid discomfort. Isn’t it way too easy to abdicate responsibility resulting in discomforts to an ethereal “they”? Someone else will pick up that incredibly heavy cross, right? In this case hiding my eyes and heart would displace that work to my family. Catch 22. As I wrestled with my temptations, it struck me--I had to stay.

For years I have asked the Lord to protect my heart from hardening in the global disability space. Our work is painful, and pain filled. Almost every day we are immersed in hopelessness, loneliness, and pain. Note that we also see incredible joy and victory, but usually after a journey through the prior.

Relationships are interdependent; they bring about a co-mingling of experience. When we are friends with people, our lives run together. Good, bad, and ugly. Far too often though I don’t want to know and feel what my friends who are marginalized feel and experience. It’s easier to harden my heart and not participate/ in such a holy exchange. A mentor and friend Jeff McNair, writes, “people with disabilities are the subjects of relationships, not the objects of programs”. When we choose relationships with the marginalized we receive in ourselves part of the life they live. Sometimes desperately I resist feeling all that is felt and lived out by my friends, refusing what’s real in exchange for what’s comfortable.

And because I know I am weak, I have disciplined myself to ask God to let me feel the entire spectrum of life. I want to know what my brother experiences, so I can love him, and know him. And this is what kept me in the exam room. I felt compelled to choose empathy. I frantically wanted to leave and yet I knew I needed to stay. Our dentists knew teeth, but I knew the kids and had relationships with them.

We didn’t have fancy facilities but we had the basics: sterile equipment, local anesthetics, and two dentists. We set a make-shift dental room with a bed and a couple headlamps. A basic kitchen with boiling water sterilized the instruments.

I won’t torture you with details, though I could. And yet I won’t spare you completely. I can’t invite you to change the story with me if you don’t know it. Over six hours we saw 14 kids and extracted a lot of teeth. What actually took place communicates much cleaner in the previous sentence. In actuality it was crushing. I had to focus to breathe. Six hours holding down screaming, terrified children exhausted me on several layers. The whole experience was maddening. Anxiously trying to provide comfort and peace, while ensuring the received the care they needed-something most kids truly didn’t understand.

One of our villages

They weren’t in pain, only scared. A room full of strangers and metal pliers didn’t offer the warmest welcome either. In the states children with disabilities are typically taken into surgery. Here this isn’t a resource available. The gentlest offering we could provide was to hold them down, covering their eyes, play worship music in their ears, and pray over them as we cried together. Music and screams, a combination I won't forget.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?

What about a child out of site and mind? If children are crying/hurting around the world and we have so busied our lives with material things, our kids sporting events, and church meetings, will their cries find a rescuer in the body of Christ? Will we make them wait for another advent until their tears are wiped away?

Out of sight and out of mind is much easier.

Our privilege gives us a mighty buffer from the brutality and pain in the world. We have a constant choice to look away or to make eye contact. I am learning empathy is a choice and a lifestyle. For me, it's much easier to tell others to be warm and filled then to reorganize my life for the sake of others.

I have not yet found the maturity or wisdom to reconcile the thoughts in my head tonight, so I will leave you hanging with my personal observations:

1. This world is full of pain.

2. I am a comfort junkie and would prefer to follow the Priest and the Levite and cross to the other side of the road and look away from my neighbor.

3. The presence of people in need reveals incredible lack of character, as well as the presence of selfishness in my life.

4. I am going to be judged someday by the way I have lived and loved on this earth.

5. The Lord will ask me how I have stewarded my privilege.

Miscarriage Story - Part III: Hanging in the Balance

2015-02-15T10:58:00.001-08:00

I make this a completely different part of my miscarriage story because, to us, we had a very real time of grieving and saying goodbye and this was a separate chapter. Of all chapters, it's my least favorite part revisiting but it's important for me to process. I don't want to come off dramatic. I don't want attention or pity. But it's my story. It was scary. I almost died. I'm very thankful for modern medicine. I am a home-birther who is very grateful for intervention when it is needed. But the intervention I experienced is a depiction of flawed practice after miscarriage and unfortunately a broken link in the health care system. I think this trauma could have been avoided. But, in any setting: home, hospital, wherever, s@*% happens. We could live in the land of blaming, try to figure out what came first, the chicken or the egg, but it would all be in vain. I am just thankful that I am here to write this story.

After waking up on the bathroom floor and yelling for Ben, I managed to get back on the toilet. Ben came to me and I was in and out. Convulsing. Lots of blood. Ben got the smelling salts and I came to. I heard snips of conversations first with the midwife then with 9-1-1. "Stay with me, Heather". I became coherent in those next moments. Enough to clearly communicate to the paramedics about the times and dosages of the medication that induced the miscarriage. My pain level from 1-10 I said was a 2. I was having conversations. They labeled me as syncope and rolled me out of my house on a stretcher. My friend, Callie, held Ethan, as they watch me getmwheeled away.

Usually maternity emergencies are taken to the OB section of the hospital -- that is not the case with miscarriages (It kind of tells you a little about our health care system and how they value "life", or when "life" begins). I was taken into the ER. Triage. I waited. And waited. And waited. Nurses came in and out, ushered out by more urgent cases than I. Or so they thought.

I had to go to pee. I went in my depends. So little care. No one had even looked "down there" to see how much I was bleeding or anything.

Thank God for my midwife team who was with me through all of this. They sat with me as Ben went to pray with a few leaders from our church. One of the midwives checked my fundal height. It was at my belly button, a concerned look came over her. She check me and removed a few clots. GUUUUUSH poured out the evidence of internal bleeding I was experiencing. The nurse's call button was pushed. A wave of darkness washed over me.

I was going through stage 3 hypovelemic shock.

I woke up, tried to speak. My brain formulated sentences but what came out of my mouth was gibberish. Did I stroke? What was happening to me? Was I going to die? My body didn't have enough blood to fulfill the task of talking.

When Ben returned, he was surprised at the turn of events. This was the point I saw my incredible husband stand up for better care for his family. He very calmly, yet sternly demanded a change in the level of care I was receiving. That this was serious and that he would talk to whoever we needed to. That's when the Charge Nurse stepped in.

From that point on, I recall it as if I were watching different channels on TV. I would pass out and wake up in a different room. It was about 3 hours after I got there that I was given an ultrasound. That was the point where they found a tiny piece of placenta stuck at the opening of my cervix, my body was attempting to flush it out with blood but to no avail.

That was the time the on call OB finally was ushered from the opposite side of the hospital. Dr. Collins was wonderful. Unfortunately, the ER didn't have the right sized forceps to do the procedure to remove the culprit that was causing me to bleed to death. So there I waited in puddles of my own blood, for 30 more minutes, to get the right equipment. The piece of placenta was removed, non-invasively, and then, to get me stable.

I was freezing. Blood pressure a mess. I kept asking if I was going to die. At one point, all I could think about was that I didn't get to say goodbye to Ethan. I missed him. I didn't want him to grow up without a mommy.

Oxygen tubes in my nose, liquids transmitted through one IV, and blood transfusion in the other, around midnight, I was dismissed from the ER and taken to a different wing. Relief. Praise the Lord, I made it.

Before I left the hospital the next day, I was given 2 more units of blood. I was extremely anemic with very low hemoglobin levels (they built them back to 8.9 from my lowest point a 7-a normal person has a level of 13). I was discharged at the weakest I have ever been in my life. I literally laid in bed for about a week to use any amount of energy to rebuild red blood cells and iron levels. I was weak but ALIVE. And i am so so so thankful for that. That my 2.5 yr old has a mommy. That my husband has a wife. That the meeting we had with our pastor the next day was for just one celebration of life/funeral and not two.

Miscarriage Story - Part II: Saying Goodbye

2015-02-15T09:29:00.003-08:00

Once I heard the news that my baby was no longer living and shared it, women came out of the woodwork to support and encourage me. I still cannot fully communicate the gratitude for love I felt during such a hard time. It's like an instant sisterhood that is amazing to be a part of but a sisterhood you would wish on no one.

The next week and a half were torture. My belly still held the reminder that I was still obviously carrying a baby. But mine had no heart beat. And the child we once dreamed as the younger sibling of Ethan was just a shell. This baby birthed right into the arms of Jesus.

Ben and my personal decision was to avoid a D&C as long as risk of infection were low. So then came the red raspberry leaf tea, penny royal, black & blue cohash (all guided with a licensed midwife). After a week of roller coaster emotions, our midwife consulted a physician and we induced the miscarriage.

Ethan went to a friend's house for the day and Ben and I labored. Oh, it is real labor. A physical labor as well as a labor of the heart. The contractions were strong for about an hour and then my water broke and with them came our baby. A perfectly formed little boy. Arms. Legs. 10 fingers, 10 toes. He fit in the palm of my hand. Ben and I cherished those moments of goodbye with our sweet boy. Salem Lee's short life, a heart beat heard once at 10 weeks and never again on this earth, changed my life forever. 15 weeks I carried him. 15 weeks I experienced Ethan as the most loving older brother. We were a family of 4. And there we sat on the floor, with our little boy, admiring the miraculous details of his formed body. And we said goodbye.

My midwife team came to see the baby. They held him and talked to him as they looked at him - what a beautiful reminder that it wasn't mere "fetal demise" but a life. A life that was gone, but a life to be celebrated and cherished. My vitals were checked. I felt good. My bleeding was normal (which is a lot, there is a lot of bleeding in miscarriage and it is normal), my vitals were good.

The midwife team left, I ate dinner, Ethan came home. Life was returning to "normal". About an hour later I felt a gush. Not just a small gush but an enormous one, big enough to fill my depends (all dignity is going out the door in this story, this is real.) I hollered to Ben and rushed to the bathroom.

The next thing I knew, I woke up on the bathroom floor.

Continue here

Miscarriage Story - Part I: The News

2015-02-15T09:08:00.000-08:00

The lump in my throat grew as I tried to get the words out. Barely eeking, "Spotting...they couldn't find a heart beat...searched for 20 minutes" My mom's voice on the other side of the phone was swallowed by strain to fight tears -- the sound of aching that only a mother could have for her "baby girl" to try to be strong, hopeful.

As I wound back through dark roads returning from my midwife's home to mine, my heart, that had found it's way to my throat just earlier that afternoon, was beating loud sounds of fear of losing my second child. Never to hold. Never to see. Never to watch take its first breath. The seatbelt wrapped about my bulging baby bump, once swelling with life and promise, still held my child, empty of heart beat.

My body continued to show signs that it was bidding farewell to this pregnancy. The blood got brighter. A trip to the bathroom ended in deep wailing on my knees holding on to Ben as we both hoped the best but knew the reality of our situation. My body couldn't stop shaking as if to rid this news. It couldn't be. It couldn't be. But it was.

Our house was bustling with life and thanksgiving celebration of our Discovery Group. Living life with people without wearing masks is raw. My husband asked for prayers and dismissed our friends as kindly as he could.

As people left our house, I found sanctuary in a hot shower. And worship. It started feeble but slowly my quaking body stopped shivering and I calmly praised, "You give and take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, blessed be your name."

Our hearts knew. It was confirmed that night at the ER. I was taken into the ultrasound room, Ben was denied entry. As the tech navigated, staring at the screen that was purposely turned away from me, her poker face a poor one, her question all too obvious, "So how long have you been bleeding?"

I returned to the room with Ben. The ER doc came in, and with tears in her eyes told us there was no heartbeat. We were discharged with "fetal demise". Little did we know this was just the beginning of our journey through miscarriage.

Continue on here.

Happy Heart Day! - Yearly Update 2014/2015

2015-02-14T10:02:00.000-08:00

Dearest Family & Friends,

Each night, my two year old looks up at me in the pale light that filters in from the hallway. “God is so good,” he requests. As I sing the words my mom sang to me as a child, my soul clings to every word.

God is so good,

He’s so good to me

God is so good to us. Through it all, He is good; times of new beginnings, times of loss, and times of great joy. In everything, we have much to celebrate about this last year:

- Ben wrapped up five wonderful years of working at New Heights Church as he took a position as the Equipping Director of 99 Balloons Inc., an international organization working with churches & nonprofits to change the story of those experiencing disability.

- We celebrated the lives of 3 incredible grandparents whose legacies live on in the great memories and rich heritage they passed onto our family. Ben’s Grandma Lynn, my Grandpa Guy & my Grampy are dearly missed but we know that this is not the end.

- MrBeaches.com, merely a baby start up company last year, has continued to grow and it has been fun to be a part of it. I’m so grateful to work ¾ time so that I get to enjoy my fulltime job – parenthood!

- Ben & I cherished 15 weeks of pregnancy with our little boy, Salem Lee. We held him in our hand & said goodbye (for now) on November 29^th. Such a tiny life changed us forever. I still cannot fully express how amazed I am by the support we received from friends & family. Thank you!

- I look at Ethan and, more than ever, cannot deny that he is an incredible miracle! He is such a joy and keeps Ben & I on our toes & laughing much of the time. He loves going on “adventures”, playing with just about anybody, & using his imagination (which is a wild imagination to say the least).

He answers prayers

He’s so good to me.

We have a lot to look forward to in this next year and we ask you to pray with us:

- That our family would continue to grow in number (whatever that is suppose to look like, we pray for guidance in that as well)

- A dream of mine is coming to fruition! Our little family has an incredible opportunity to go to India for a month this summer with Ben’s work! Please pray for safety & that we would be open to having our lives molded by our experiences together as a family.

We send lots of love your way!

The Richards Family

Storms to Be Stilled!

2014-11-20T15:07:00.005-08:00

By: Ben Richards

God gives and he takes away?

Can a heart heal as it's breaking?
Can Jesus keep pace as we crumble?
Is this the reality of grace, of mercy?

I am sitting on the floor of my bedroom.
Steady tears. Grief. Everything feels still.
Knowledge of our miscarriage is fresh--25 minutes.
Our home buzzing with life and laughter. And my wife's body is informing her (us) we won't hold this child with these earthly hands. Trembling hands held open.

Her weeping beats against my heart like a torrential storm. And yet, Christ stands at the helm and cries out peace!

Salem [sey-luh m]
1. Peace!
2. Complete. Unbroken. Safe.

For weeks, we have called this child Salem Lee— “Peace Healer”.

The current sound. Weak, my wife's quiet voice choosing praise over protest, against the steady sound of running water. A hot shower, tears too.

I can’t sing right now. Her praise is calming my heart. Strengthening my soul.

I hear HIS voice. BE STILL!

My tears are washing my pain, this death is loosing sting. Pierced hands hold this family. They always have. We heal as we break. Healing Peace.

He gives. He takes. and He is good (even now)
And then the grief floods again.
Storms to be stilled.
I can't breathe.

Do we heal while we break? When we crumble?!

India Update #7: Bungee Jumping and the Gospel

2014-03-03T10:50:00.001-08:00

Have you ever caught yourself in the middle of a bucket list moment you never knew to dream? This afternoon I experienced Dunkin Donuts, Lattes, and bungee jumping with about 15 of Mel’s employee’s from JOYN. We took a break from fashion handbags and block printing to have an adventure. Originally Mel had wanted to create an opportunity for me to build relationships with some of her employees, in particular three young with disabilities. We were to eat donuts and I was to share some stories. The adventure took a turn though, more tears and more laughter then expected.

We arrived at the brand new mall—a posh epicenter of activity. None of the employees had ever been here. It was beyond their “class”, as many grew up on the streets and had very hard backgrounds. They were all very excited, there was quite the buzz in the car. However, our arrival came with a biting reality. Santosh refused to leave the car. He was too embarrassed to go into this public place. Santosh, like two of the other boys, does not have use of his legs due to polio. His excitement faded to fear when he saw the guard at the door, and then contemplated the crowds inside. His shame chained him. After much persisting he remained in the car. As I walked away a seething righteous anger welled up in my heart. Tears. Evil has disabled Santosh, not polio. He may not walk because of polio, however, he is not LIVING because evil in the hearts of men. Forgive us the Lord for what we do to people. I have only two days left with Santosh. I pray healing over his heart. Please! God shatter his shame!

I couldn’t have dreamed up what followed. The donuts were good. The coffee was better. The bungee jumping was best. Yea, that’s not a typo. Outside the mall was a giant trampoline with huge poles and a harness connected to bungee cords. Feeling serendipitous, Mel couldn’t resist the opportunity to inject such excitement and joy into workerts. Mel went first, with shrill screams; she pioneered the way for queasy fun. Fourth in the line up was Raju. Raju is also paraplegic, but unlike Santosh, love is healing Raju’s shame and with a little peer pressure he stepped up to the plate. The operator however refused him entry because of his disability. I have never been so proud to advocate—a slight verbal altercation later Raju was flying high!!! This was the most creative demonstration of the gospel I have ever seen. He was worthy of this joy! With every bounce he proclaimed the gospel: all are created in the image of GOD. ALL are lovely in his sight. ALL have worth. His joy is not withheld!!! Check out my

While bungee cords, donuts, and coffee are all good things the combination might be called into question. Nonetheless we BOUNCED. I swear it was a holy moment.

Prayers Points:

v Pray for time with Rikesh, he manages the JOYN employees. Tomorrow we are going together via motorbike to visit my friend Pratima. She runs a vocational training program for adults with disabilities. This will be a training field trip.

v Pray for Santosh—he needs Jesus so badly. Pray healing over his spirit.

v Divine appointments.

v Tommorrow we will begin assessing Dave and Mel’s needs as they relate to disability. We will then craft a plan to better serve there employees and create more jobs for people with disabilities.

v I am very homesick for my family, and I am sure they are as well. Pray for joy on both ends.

India Update #6 Happy Losar!

2014-03-03T10:49:00.002-08:00

Praise:

Incredibly restful weekend

Many new Tibetan friends

I have been reminded again that we are light in darkness. Christ in us the hope of glory truly is the hope of the world. Lord break our hard hearts that you may shine through more.

Prayers:

Pray for supernatural and intimate friendship with Ranju, Santosh, and Shawm

Pray for details figuring out an apartment for these boys to find HOME.

Losar (Tibetan new year) is this week. Monks flood the city and invite demons into people. It’s a very heavy and dark time.

Pray God will continue to break my heart and help me understand how to translate my experiences as I lead my family.

Pray God fill Heather and Ethan with joy. Pray he fills there dreams with revelation of himself.

The last few days have been incredibly relaxing, following a week where we went early morning to late at night continuously. I have been staying with friends here who own profitable businesses in Raj Pur, creating employment for many. Raj Pur sits at the base of the Himalayan foot hills. It is surreal in many ways. It is very different then much of India. Life moves a little slower, which I like. Additionally there is a large community of Tibetan refugees which brings yet another flavor to life.

Our friends have two boys 7 and 8, they have been medicine to my homesick soul. I have put in a good three hours a day of make believe, the youngest Levi, has been especially sweet pouring out affection and making me feel welcome. My friends have done incredible work creating community with there employees and there is such a spirit of love here. It has been good to rest this weekend. I have had incredible food, snuggles and giggles to remind me of my baby, long hard 45 degree angle runs into the foothills, and great hospitality. Additionally I am celebrating my first Losar (Tibetan New Year) with my Tib friends.

This week I will be spending time working with Dave and Mel learning from there people and hopefully discovering ways to provide more jobs to people with disabilities, as well as training staff in disability sensitivity. We need your prayers this week. The chief desire is that God would give me favor with three young men who have lost use of there legs to polio. The would benefit from opening up about there disability, receiving available gov. help, and allowing truth to wash away the shame that heavily oppresses people with disabilities in India. In India disability is believed to be a curse. These boys have been told for twenty years they are evil and bring shame to there families. Hindu’s in this area, including people with disabilities, believe disabled individuals must endure their poverty ridden lives to improve there karma. They believe they must go through 9 life cycles before they can become HUMAN! One of the boys mothers believes if she treats her son kindly his bad karma will infect her as well. Mel is hopeful they will open up to me about there disability. A subject they will breach with no one. However if they would address it they could dramatically improve there quality of life; therapy, proper wheel chair, government benefits, TRUTH shattering their shame.

Please get on your knees for Ranju, Santosh, and Shawm this week. I need supernatural friendship. I have nothing to bring other then Christ in me. Pray they see this and will open up about an incredibly intimate part of their lives. We are hoping to find up an apartment and set up a home for the boys this week. For about 350 a month we can provide a clean home, free from cursing families, and physical barriers. Further the boys will have a house dad that will show them properly what it means to be a valued son. Lord in your mercy...

Thanks for your prayers!

Ben

India Update #5

2014-03-03T10:48:00.001-08:00

Praises:

· I made friends on a walk with a Hindu man with disabilities, he asked me to join him to come walk again.

· Many organizations have come on board for the conference and we are nearly fully funded.

· Incredible advances in conference details have been made.

Prayer Points:

· A church in Delhi may offer there event management team to assist our staff. Pray this will happen.

· Discernment with time, I have many invites and request, what should be done when.

· Divine appointments

· Bendali-Hindu man with disability I have befriended. I hope to walk with him daily in the afternoons, pray Jesus would grow our friendship and bridge the language gap.

· Friendship with many, especially with Dave and Mel’s employees with disabilities. They would benefit from opening up about there disability however they aren’t believers and their disabilities are clouded with shame. There are all sorts of gov benefits available if they would bridge the gap and discuss it.

· Pray for my family. I miss them terribly and we have had days without power or contact with each other.

Update #5

Delhi and Bangalore were nice, but arriving in little Raj Pur was truly a breath of fresh air. The feeling I felt when I arrived is very similar to how I feel every time I travel and return to Fayetteville, AR—a bit of home. Thank you for your prayers, the last few days have been incredibly productive. The Engage Disability Conference is in full swings! It will be the beginning step of a five year plan to both surface and link disability nGO’s, people with disabilities, and pastors/churches. Many of these organizations are incredibly isolated and due to the nature of there work struggle to make connections, discover best practices, and connect with churches. Further in India (as all over the world) the church is widely ignorant about God’s heart for people with disabilities. We hope these steps will throw up a sail to catch all that God is doing and strengthen the Christian response to disability in India.

Most my work in disability is incredibly humbling—this trip has certainly been true to form. Last year I was asked to teach through the teaching about disability in Luke (13-17) for a group of pastors in Musoorie. At the time a charismatic pastor stood up in tears, repenting. They had experienced a revival of sorts for several months and hundreds of people were healed, though thousands came from the mountain villages. He repented that those that were not healed were sent away instead of being “compelled” to enter the Masters House. It was powerful then but I wondered over the year what came of it. I reconnected with him yesterday and he said this teaching has changed his life and his church. He described that after his eyes were open he sees people with disabilities everywhere, and he is filled with overwhelming love. He has started many ministries reaching out to families and going into the slums, inviting people with disabilities into his church. Many are coming to faith.

“Jesus we know that your heart breaks for your people…all people. Jesus we know you see people we have forgotten. Forgive us for not seeing and loving the weak and powerless, the forgotten among us. Help us to love, to honor, and to include all in the Body that we, your Church, might ALL be healthier and stronger. Jesus we pray you would do an EXTRAVAGANT work in the world (in INDIA!) on behalf of people with disabilities, that the world would know your fierce and tender love. That seeing your kindness would lead many to repentance and to intimacy with you Jesus. Amen”

Cheers,

Ben

Ben's India Update #4

2014-02-27T08:54:00.000-08:00

Hey Friends I have been days with out power and internet. Forgive me silence.

Hey Friends!

Sorry it’s been a few days. We have not had Wi-Fi but we have had power outages! I am going to put the prayer and praise points first. Just in case you don’t want to read you will at least know how to pray.

Praise:

·      I made it safely to Dehradun (you appreciate this one if you read the update).
·      Incredible progress has been made for Engage Disability:: India 2014
·      I was honored to give a strong and well received message on Jesus, Disability, and the Gospel to over 120 church planters this evening.

Prayer Points:

·      Pray Heather and Ethan are healthy, safe, and joy filled in my absence. It is incredibly difficult for me to be away today.
·      Favor and anointing for several more teachings this weak.
·      We have only two more days to plan the Engage conference. We need wisdom as we plan the networking conference, many decisions, with significant kingdom potential.
·      For God to move the heart of the Indian Church to love and see people with disabilities.
·      Divine appointments and kinship between those I meet.

Update #4 Planes. Trains. & Automobiles

Wow. I. HAVE. HAD. AN. ADVENTURE. If you have prayed for my safety and for discernment I am grateful—Its been needed. The last 24 for hours have been exciting, joy filled, alarming, and of “once in a life time caliber” (hopefully only once).

As you know I have been traveling alone making new contacts in various cities for the last few days. Yesterday I began my journey from Bangalore to Dehradun (far south to far north). My original plan was to catch a 4:30pm flight from Bangalore to Delhi. I was to land at 8:00, take an hour cab across the city and catch overnight train at the Old Delhi train station—scheduled to leave at 10:20 from platform 16. I would sleep through the night and wake up refreshed in Dehradun. Travel engineering at its best.

Trains.

Reality. My flight was delayed out of Bangalore two hours which landed me in Dehli at 9:25pm. I got my bags ran out of the airport and caught a cab with a very skilled driver. We sped quickly through town—do your best to imagine a high speed car chase through Delhi. I arrived at the Old Delhi Station. I am pretty sure I was the only white person of thousands. I carried by bags in hand and sprinted over 16 platforms to the end. Finding the train delayed, whistle blowing, I sprinted to one end of the train, then corrected and sprinted to the far other side and stepped into my carriage at the very last minute. Heaving! I had certainly experienced a miracle. The beginning of the glorious end. My buddy here in India purchased the ticket online, and in a fury of multitasking he booked the ticket for March 10, not Feb 24^th. Did I mention it was 10:45pm in the middle of Old Delhi?

It was certainly a moment that different could feel scary. So my next choice was a bus J. Now I have resisted taking a grey hound for years, but in that moment the bus sounded exciting. One of the “runners” (guys that recruit riders to book with a large number of bus companies and ticket sellers) was quite helpful. He took my bags across the street and walked me to the ticket counter (read: a wobbly table in front of a soda fountain shack, they all looked like this) I paid my money, used the restroom and hopped into a motorized rickshaw with my “runner” to go to the bus station. On the way he informed me I actually missed my bus and he was going to try to catch it at the next stop. As fast as our rickshaw moved we raced through the city. Its now 11:30pm. Having missed the bus, he tried to gain my entrance onto another companies bus. In the process the driver informed me I had been charged four times too much. Shortly after it turns out his colleagues discovered this fact as well. I was unhappy, but to my surprise they were even more upset. I then witnessed by first Old Delhi style street fight as they proceeded to beat him up for cheating me. (not too bad, it seemed to be in line with the crime). I joyfully left with my driver, back to the wobbly table and demanded my money back—he obliged. A later confirmed miracle by my Indian friends.

Planes.

I am still in Old Delhi train station. Its midnight. I took a less triumphant cab ride back to the airport hoping I could sleep in the airport for a few hours and catch a red eye flight to Dehradun. An hour later I arrive. 12:00am. No such flight—the first flight doesn’t leave until ten. I need to be in Dehradun at 9:00am. I am feeling tired now. Bewildered but not defeated J

Automobiles.

1:00 am. Exhausted and determined, I hired a cab driver to take me seven hours north in the middle of the night (Don’t tell my chiropractor!). Seriously I could not think of a richer blessing. I meet Naresh, a deeply spiritual Hindu man in his 60’s. He overheard me asking a big cab company deny my proposition and he came to my rescue. I knew he was my God send. What followed was most incredible! Our friendship grew quickly. He taught me all about Hindu and Indian culture. He told me stories of his family. We saw countless young men riding through the night on horses to claim there brides. It’s a classic Hindu wedding ceremony during the peak of wedding season. We laughed. We peed like Indians on the side of busy roads and we ate early morning dhal and chai against the fragrance of hashish being enjoyed by the Indian teens beside us. After seven hours I was showering in Mel Murray’s house, caffeinated, cat knapped and off to an incredibly productive day of meetings.

It was quite an adventure. While I was in Bangalore God gave me an incredible sense that I am his son and he is a Jealous and protective Father. I should not be afraid. The whole time I prayed in Jesus name and his peace guided me. What should have been a nightmare has become a treasure in my heart. Seriously awesome! God rescues us and he can make us laugh and love life while he is doing it.

Ben's India Update #3

2014-02-27T08:53:00.005-08:00

Bangalore or bust. My time in Bangalore was priceless. I can’t express how much respect I have for those who stay in a field for an extended period time, even more so those who stay on THE field for an extend period of time. I spent the last 24 hours with proVision Asia staff. A group that does expansive work with people with disabilities in Bangalore. The works is quite incredible. They fit people with wheel chairs, network for job placement, have a school, and LOVE extremely well.

Chip, the founder and director, has been in India since 1978—translate-long time. He has seen so much and learned so much. Its hard work and he endures and the world is changed because of it. I pray Jesus gives me perseverance and persistence like Chip.

I had an interesting experience this afternoon. As I listend to Chip explain the realities of there work I began to feel overwhelmed. You see I feel called to mobilize disability workers and to support those on the ground. But I began to wonder…Do I have the hope?...Do I have the faith to support such an endeavor? Who am I to believe I can help, that my feeble hands can make a difference. It seems easier just to move to a location and work in a particular community. But that’s not my current calling. And so I find myself needy—of hope, and of faith to believe God to fulfill his desires through me. Every step I take deeper into disability ministry (when I say this mean-A life crying out to God for 900,000 million people forgotten in the world, most GODLESS) I feel completely devoid of gifts to make a difference. All I bring is a willing spirit. It feels like a meager offering.

And in my lack I find a sense of adventure—God CAN, and I believe GOD will turn this world upside down echoing his heart, his Gospel to the broken and weak. And I believe as the Church turns their eyes to the least, to the forgotten, many will come to know the love of Jesus. Will you believe with me for two things? That Jesus would reveal himself to 900,000 million people with disabilities in the world of which 95 percent do not have access to the gospel? And for a Church who is moved to turn there eyes to the forgotten. What would the entire world experience if they saw a church turning there eyes and hearts to 900,000 million people who have been marginalized and isolated in the worst ways? Would they see Jesus blazing in glory? I am believing for this.

Praise:

God is growing my faith—it hurts my head but its good for my heart.

Three incredible days of travel, friendship, and connections. Especially some incredible people with disabilities. My soul is refreshed.

Prayer Points:

My flight is delayed to Delhi. I have may have less then an hour to make a my overnight train connection (read miracle)

There are many things to consider in the formation of the conference. Pray for wisdom, the mind of Christ. How do we help hundreds of organizations strengthen there work through connection and unity. It is a waste of time to simply gather people together to hear good speakers. The conference is a starting point, not the end!

Pray for my family. I miss them terribly. Pray for Ethan to strengthen his Mama through his joy and an obedient spirit!

Blessings

Ben

PS I am now in Dehradun, this update is one day old. Keep your eyes out for the next one. You WONT want to miss it!

Ben's India Update #2

2014-02-27T08:53:00.004-08:00

India Update

Feb 23, 2014

Navigating a place so foreign has been an adventure. Sometimes I associate different as scary. India is very different but I have peace that I am safe. Yesterday I got in a cab and gave my driver and incomplete address and ventured off to find Asha Niketan L’Arche Bangalore. A permanent home for adults with mental and physical disabilities and those called to live with them. Bangalore is an international business hub. I am white male and everyone assumes I am here for business, in a way I am, but not quite like they expect. My driver found it quite curious that I would venture into the middle of the city to spend time with these adults with disabilities. He kind of gave me a double take when I told him we weren’t going to the office parks. When he picked me up we had encouraging conversation about Jesus and people with disabilities.

I am still processing my experience. I was greeted warmly. At L’Arche Bangalore there are 15 core members (people with disabilities) and 8 assistants. People do not come to L’Arche to get rich, rather it’s a choice, a certain way to live. They are given room and board and a small stipend. The assistants had been there from 7 months to 28 years! One man said, “we are peaceful here, no one is climbing the ladder of success. We are all equal. With or without disability we are the same. I like it”.

I have been thinking a lot about a performance mentality. I am constantly tempted and overcome putting my worth in what I do, how I look, and what I have achieved. Sitting with my new friends at L’Arche I could sense there freedom from such oppressive thoughts. There love for each other was based on the decision to share life together—not what each could contribute. They didn’t know me from Adam. We didn’t even speak the same language. Yet for hours these men and women shared their lives with me and made me there friend. They were so happy I was there not because of anything I had done, but because I was present. I was lavished with hugs, given the best seats, and invited to see their artwork.

At dinner we sat silently eating a very simple meal in silence. I felt like I was on the reverse side of the Luke 14 banquet. I felt like I was the poor man invited to the table of the wealthy. I sat with three men with intellectual disabilities. Sam, to my right made sure my water cup was never empty. And all of them smiled and looked right into my eyes—for an hour!! Typically a dead lock stare with a stranger would be awkward, but it was pleasant. Though we couldn’t speak I felt a warm full and sincere acceptance. At their table I felt free from performance. I felt at home.

As you are reading this I am meeting with the Indian staff from Joni and Friends. We are discussing the grassroots needs of disability NGO leaders in India. And preparing for an overnight train ride to far north India. I covet your prayers, see some pointers below:

Praise:

· Visiting Asha Niketan was seriously a bucket list opportunity! Thank you Jesus.

· My friends have been blessing my wife and son.

· I am at peace and not fearful of traveling alone (I had some anxiety before the trip)

Prayers:

· A spirit of friendship and favor with all I meet.

· Divine appointments

· Courage to speak boldly during planning meetings. I am much younger then most I am working with, but I believe God has placed great vision inside my heart.

· Pray for increased gifts of administration to organize various meeting agendas. I will be leading much of the organizational and creative process.

· Please pray for power from the spirit and ear to hear. I have several speaking engagements in the next two weeks. Pray for hearing ears to speak truth.

· Please pray for a specific word for the church planters conference. I sense God has something specific.

· Health

Ben's India Update #1

2014-02-27T08:53:00.003-08:00

Sat. Feb 22

Last night I landed in Delhi around 9:30. I picked up an Indian phone, lost my passport, found my passport, got to my hotel, and crashed. I wound up on the same plane to Delhi with a childhood friend, which was an awesome bonus. Further every where I was yesterday there were people with disabilities within arms length. Which made me think, is the unique to me or are there people always within arms length and I am such sensitized to see them. I continue to pray that I will SEE people many don’t. Will you pray that too?

Today I fly to Bangalore. I will be spending the afternoon, in a L’arche community. For those of you not familiar. L’Arche communities are deeply spiritual communities for people with and with out disabilities. L’Arche believes deeply in the reciprocity of relationship, found in ALL who are created in the image of God. It is a beautiful decision to embrace the entire body of Christ—the strong, the weak, the poor, the powerful. We all experience disability when parts are missing. The trip to L’Arche is a bucket list moment for me.

Sunday will be a work day from my hotel and Sunday evening I will join up with the staff from Joni and Friends in India. They are key partners for our conference next Sept.

Prayer Points:

Praise

Ø My passport was found (the clerk at the phone company forgot to return it)

Ø I have landed and feel rested this morning.

Prayer Points:

Ø Divine appointments, I will not know anyone I meet for the next 3 days. I don’t want to waste any moments.

Ø Pray I am filled with the power of the holy spirit. Sensitized to what he is doing.

Ø Health-last year I got parasites, this year I would prefer a different experience.

Ø Pray my heart stays soft. It is natural reaction to harden when we see hard things. The nature of my work is hard, but I want a heart continually broken.

Ø Pray for my family.

Richards Family Update 2013

2014-02-05T20:33:00.002-08:00

photo from to LuciasArt

Guest Blogger: Toby Richards, a 5 year old Boston Terrier, and close family member, offers a dogs-eye-view into the happenings of the lives of his "pets" this last year.

Year 2013.

I do say, it has been a good year for me. My pets seem to be out of their "new-parentdom" fog and the one that made them so has figured out how to throw my ball and play with me. And although I was put in charge of writing the year update despite an absence of imposable thumbs and only 3 padded fingers (if you can even call them that), I do think it's a better situation to be in than my fur-sister. You see, Lola found a new family this past year (something about 'one too many' and 'eating baby toys and making mommy say bad words'). So now, it's just the Best Friend, Best Friend's Wife, Best Friend's mini-me, and myself (also referred to as Heather, Ben, Ethan & your's truly Toby Chuck Norris Richards).

It has been a year of significant change.

Ethan went from rolling on the ground to imitating my walk on all fours, to walking and trotting about. I would like to think that I've influenced his primary passion these days -- dogs & playing, lots of playing. He's constantly surprising us all these days. He has a reputation of being quite the ham. And even though he has stolen my place as the one who gets the attention in the family, his joyous disposition is growing on me.

After 4 wonderful years of serving families and kids as Children's Ministry staff at New Heights Church, Heather & Ben took a big step of faith and transitioned into new roles this past July. This new chapter involves immersing themselves in the lives of those experiencing disability and discovering what it means to be more inclusive in their faith. The leadership at New Heights created a new position for Ben to explore leading the church to live out God's heart for people with disabilities. It's exciting to see how the same passion that brought two people together at Camp Barnabas continues to make many new adventures for their family.

These said adventures took Ben to India for the first time last year and he'll soon return for his 2nd & 3rd trip this year. He has the opportunity to be on the leadership team of a networking conference for disability ministers abroad - the first of its kind in India. I'll miss him a lot and hope that Heather remembers to feed and water me. Woe is me.

The Best Friend's wife seems to be more keen on those of the K9 persuasion these days. Maybe it's the additional hours of sleep she's getting at night now that Ethan "sleeps through the night" (mostly) or that Ethan is fascinated with them. She too has a new job, working at MrBeaches in charge of social media, administration, and occasionally sells Apple Vacation Packages. She has enjoyed learning a new field of work with an awesome team (she lucked out again in that department). More than anything, she loves picking up the kiddo at 2:30 from his preschool to spend the rest of their day together.

And don't tell anybody I'm writing this but . . . she turns 30 this year and part of her "bucket list" (not like her life is ending but her 20's certainly are), is to run in her very first Half Marathon. And not any Half Marathon, but Camp Barnabas' Biggest Party Half Marathon this April. She never thought she would enjoy training for it, but don't tell anybody . . . she is.

Well, it's been fun trying out this whole "guest blogger" gig but I've gotta get back to my typical dog duties -- have to return to a little L&L. You know, a little licking and loving.

Oh and one last thing, my family sends their love to all you and they're thankful for your prayers, love and support.

Our Little Man Turns 1

2013-10-26T21:00:00.002-07:00

Ben and I seriously sat blank faced racking our brains about months 10-12. Perhaps its the year and a half of less sleep, haha, and the abundance of amazing memories of our son. BUT I DO REMEMBER HIS FIRST BIRTHDAY!

He had a Little Man Party complete with Mustaches, bow ties, neck ties, mason jars galore, blue, red, and a splash or chevron. There were "Tasty Treats" and a "Wet Your Whistle"station complete with a lemonade bar and a few drinks that "Put hair on your chest" (for those 21 and older of course). It was fun preparing for this party. All the prep was worth it, but this mom was wiped out when it was all said and done. It was so fun having so many of our friends present - the guests of this party weren't kiddos this year but adults who made a great impact on his debut! Enough of the details, let's talk about the best part-THE BIRTHDAY BOY!

First birthday cake. At this point in his life he had VERY limited ingredients introduced to his diet, so in crazy Heather fashion, I selected a cake recipe that tasted like cardboard, mixed with banana which in Ethan's book makes everything better. It wasn't really cardboard. But it was free of refined sugar and it was whole wheat. The frosting was whipped coconut milk fat with spirulina powder to give it a green tint. Who am I kidding, the beautiful green coloring I was modeling after from Pinterest wasn't achieved at all. It looked for the color of death or of the wicked witch. My taste buds are different than others', I thought it was delicious. And so did Ethan.

In fact, it was the most entertaining part of the whole party. A 12 month old eating cake can engage a room of adults for a half an hour or more. And my little Ethan Gallagher easily soaks up the attention and puts on a show. There are few words that can describe it. It's much better in pictures.

Grades are out--I've recieved an F in Blogging about Ethan's first year

2013-10-26T20:15:00.002-07:00

He's 18 months old.

Yes, you read correctly, he is 18 months old and I have not blogged about him since he was 9 months. AH. Time goes so fast. So before he's more than twice the aged of his blogged life, I decided I'd better get to it.

When people more seasoned in parenting tell you to write things down, they are 100% correct. Those precious little moments that I thought would be forever etched in my mind have for most part been crowded out by the growing amounts of latest milestones and developments. Thank goodness for pictures and facebook and text messages that hold some of this information.

Here are a few pictures:

9 months

2013-10-26T20:02:00.001-07:00

BANANA
B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Ladies and gents. He has a favoite food.

And.

He doesn't care who knows about it.

I discovered that this month was the month of his opinion being known in the form of the mini-fit. This child will cry when his delicious banana-y experience has come to an end. Throws his head back. And. Wails. The first time it happened I could have gotten the "Best Mom of the Year Award". The first thing I did was go and grab my phone and start filming. It is quite funny.

Sounds: Ga, Ba, Bo, A funny new fish/kiss sound, F, and almost oh so very close to "Ma"

2 top teeth made their appearance. Now you have a total of 4 chompers.

We are trying to teach you sign. You know how to sign "more" but you have gone on strike recently.

Still not crawling, hates being on stomach

Loves to play with other kids, play peek a boo, we can say "Where is Ethan" and YOU will hide your face or eyes. Cutest thing ever!

Stats:
Your 9 months check up @ the beginning you were 17 lb 11 oz
2 weeks later, towards the end of this month, you were 18 lb 13 oz

8 months old!

2013-02-15T21:09:00.002-08:00

The whole counting your age with the dice thing ... great idea when you were just a wee infant. Now they have posed quite the choking hazard. Exhibit A below. haha

I had to get creative...

I spy 2 little dice...haha

Well. Now that Christmas, New Years, AND Valentine's Day have passed I can no longer use the excuse "Well, the holidays were just so busy" to explain away why this post is 2 months late.

8 months old. Let's see if we can dig in these memory banks! Well, it was your first Christmas. You flew on a plane to Oregon and wooed every flight attendant and fellow child traveler with your social ways and cuteness. You are an amazing traveler! While in Oregon you met a lot of family members including 2 other 2nd cousins born within 2 months of you. You also got to see your cousins again!

(Grammy and Grampy with all the great grandkids. 4 years ago there were only 2! Now there are 9!)

Christmas is so much fun now that you are here! So magical. I can't wait to spend it with you in the years to come.

You've been sitting up for some time but you are definitely able to sit independently now without me feeling like I should "hover".

You babble and your favorite sound is "g". You have such a sweet voice.

You are most definitely into "solid" foods.

You tried a lot of new foods while we were in Portland including puffs. Now puffs are one of your favorites, your pincer grasp is developing right along.

You got a lot of fun new toys for Christmas and this month you took an interest in playing BY YOURSELF for quite a while. You are so cute to watch and sometimes I just want to read your mind.

Please stay little!!

You continue to be an ABSOLUTE JOY! As 2012 came to an end, your daddy and I looked on this past year and were amazed at how having you has changed our lives in the most fabulous way!

Richards Family Newletter (the last 2 years!)

2013-01-29T10:43:00.000-08:00

Dear friends and family,

For those who do not frequent this blog, let me introduce myself. My name is Ethan Gallagher Richards. First said hello to the outside world on April 14th 2012. So far, life is good. I mean, I have people to play with, feed me and change my diaper. I've trained them well.

Mom and dad had every intention of sending a letter out last year. But something about the 3rd trimester and mom taking a lot of naps because of people's advice to "rest while you can". They thought that they would jump right back into their old way of life after I came into the picture. But they said something like "their world has been rocked". I don't quite understand. I'm not even 1 and the only thing that rocks is my mom and that chair in my room. Regardless of this "rocking", I've been eavesdropping and they also say that I've added a new "dimension" to their lives and a new "pair of glasses to view the world with". Mom and dad sure love having me around and wouldn't have it any other way!

When they aren't looking at me and staring at my cuteness and the new things I do, they keep busy with lots of other stuff. Mom went back to work 3/4 time when I was 3 months old. She really enjoys working as the Early Childhood Director at New Heights Church. And dad is her boss. He thinks that's fun to say. He is the Director of Children's Ministry. I've really been helpful job development for them.

Dad is a hard worker. He juggles a full time job, grad school, loving mommy, and playing with me (note: my mom wants me to clarify that although my dad wishes he could--he does NOT juggle me). He has really enjoyed his grad program. In March, he is going to India to help with his research for his "Capstone Project". We all look forward to this August when he graduates with his Masters in Disability Studies from Cal Baptist University!

In other news. When I was just a mere "sparkle in my mom and dad's eye" (fancy that, that's really tiny), they bought their first home in April of 2011. They are so grateful. We enjoy having friends over and sharing life with our community. The 'rents dream of future football parties when the U of A Hogs make their comeback (dang you Petrino), raising chickens, and gardening. I dream of playing in the backyard, messing with the chickens, eating the fruits of their labor, and for these empty rooms to be filled with lots brothers and sisters. Mom just told me to hold my horses. I just mentioned chickens and I don't own horses. I'm confused.

Welp, think I have met my vocabulary quota for the day not to mention my fingers are small for this keyboard #firstworldbabyproblems

What better way to wrap it up than with a cute picture of "yours truly":

Happy 2013!

Yours Truly,
"E-Train"

ps. From mom: We praise God for the true richness that we have experienced these last 2 years. Thank you for sharing in our lives! May you experience the true fullness of His love!
Love, Heather, Ben, and Ethan (Toby and Lola too)

7 months

2012-12-15T13:03:00.000-08:00

Mom's on top of it this time. Seriously...you think that it would be easy to remember what happens within a month. Nope, not for this woman. My mind is not as "sharp" as it once was ;) Maybe because it's preoccupied with this cutie-pa-tootie:

Ethan, you are joyful, go with the flow (unless you really like something a certain way or are hungry or tired...but aren't we all like that), you also don't know a stranger but there are times where only mom will do (I don't mind!) This month you have been very playful. You like PeekABoo and the anticipation is so cute to watch as you wait for someone to go......BOO.

Still not crawling. But, here's a secret, mommy has been praying that you would hold out until after Christmas because we are joining the plethera of cousins and 2nd cousins at a cabin in Mt. Hood and it would be nice if you could stay in a contained area for mommy and daddy's sanity. hehe.

[ethan: I think I'll grab your nose. donkey: I think I'll eat your shoe]

Firsts:
- This month you had your first road trip. Go big or go home right? Wait for it--a 17 hour road trip up to Alma, Michigan and then down to Lansing for Thanksgiving! You were a trooper-maybe even better than mom and dad at certain points. Funny story: On the way up to Michigan you dad and I decided that we would have a sit down dinner. So we pulled out Urban Spoon...mind you, at the last minute, with you screaming in the back seat and your dad and my blood sugar level was very low. When we arrived at desired destination we noticed "Panini Panini" was closed. We already had you out of the car, and there was no re-entering and renavigating so we had to do something on the fly. The only restaurant was across the street--a quaint Mediterranean place that, according to Urban Spoon (blast you again!), was "Family Friendly"...if by "Family Friendly" you mean "date night spot" " fancy smancy" "not $ but $$/$$$". So in we went, no make up, sweats and all. And the first thing I do when i sit down--nurse you. Hey folks, we're from Arkansas! Your dad was amused by the whole situation and I was petrified. Oh well. We'll never see them again. And besides, when we left, all the women were waving and smiling at you. Charmer you are little one ;)
- You went to your first petting zoo. In rural Michigan there are many interesting things--among them an exotic petting zoo complete with Zebras, Camels, and many other animals. It was a really neat place

- Boy were Papa and Grandma Kim excited to see you. You had grown up so much since the last time they saw you--the last time they came to visit you were only 6 weeks old and quite a fussy, gassy, reflux-y little guy. Both were a tad smitten by you. One of the highlights was Grandma Kim getting down her son, Michael's, toys...one was a Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch read-along, animatronics toy--complete with cassette tapes. I had to remind myself how to flip over the tape. Child, you were playing with "ancient technology". haha
- First time to decorate for Christmas - you weren't that into it
- You made your first ornament and received your first of many ornaments from Nonna and Crazy Grandpa
- Nonna and Cazy G'pa got you a little people nativity.

said Nativity Scene

I have never seen you so engaged with a toy. Your way of manipulating toys has

developed quite a lot this month.
- You got your first double ear infection. Double wammy. You were so sick. The only up side was all the cuddles you gave your daddy and I

Stats: (since we seem to go to the doc once a month, these stats are available)
You weigh 16.3 lb! Way to double your birth weight finally, little nugget!

This is such a fun season! I am so excited to share the holidays with you. Especially Christmas! We have so much to be thankful for, little one!

- First time at the Christmas Lights at Fayetteville Square

- Sometimes I let you play....I mean practice using a sippy cup. My friend Carleigh Melton whose blog is here, recommended to take out the H2O stopper (she's a Speech Path, so I believed her). I feel like the coolest mom because by the end of his "practice" I feel like I'm in the splash zone at Marine World.

Yes, I like my sippy cup. I make a huge mess

Ethan with his friend Miss LK

On 12-14-12, your 8 month birthday, a very sad thing happened that makes me squeeze you even tighter. I love you little one. Keep growing up to be a healthy joyful blessing!

6 months old

2012-12-04T10:22:00.003-08:00

This was a big month! A half a year has gone by. And now you are a month closer to being 1! I can't believe it! You are growing up so much, little man.

Stats:
We went to the Dr.'s and you are now 15 pounds. Dr. J calls you a "compact kid"--in the 10th percentile in weight in 25th in height. You are wonderfully made, little one.

Your firsts:
First Halloween - you dressed up as a Lobster the day before and we also threw a costume party, but we didn't go trick or treating this year-Mommy and Daddy don't need the candy :)
First (and only) sidekick trip to "Girl's Weekend" with your Grami & Aunt Brandi + Aunt Jaime and tons of other fun girl family members from the Gallagher-Main side of the family.
First Election
On election day you decided to: cut your first tooth. In addition, when I sat you up, you stayed seated with the occasional quiver of your core, but strong boy-you sat up without my assistance.
You cut your 2nd bottom tooth shortly after. You look so cute with those 2 pearly whites
Daylight Savings time. "Fall Back" So glad that only happens once a year ;)

Solids:

Your first solids were the night before you turned 6 months. So far you have tried:
- sweet potato
- avocado (not your favorite much do my dismay)
- carrots (LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM)
- sweet peas (another favorite)
- mango (the core of a mango can keep you entertained for a good half an hour)
- banana
- apple

Nicknames:
Our co-worker Nate has officially nicknamed you The "E-train". I think it's cute
I call you itty bitty, lil' guy, little '"e", lil' man

You are a Joy

You are such an incredible joy in our lives! I love being a family with you and your dad! You are full of giggles. You LOVE to play with your daddy, you light up and do the kicky-arms-flailing dance when you see him. You have a special grin for me that just melts my heart. I love watching you grow, each stage is so fun! I thank God for you every day!

Ethan at 5 months old.

2012-10-15T19:49:00.002-07:00

Seriously. Stop it.
Stop this growing up business.
I can't believe it's been half a year. You turned 6 months yesterday.

But it feels like yesterday that I took your 5 month old picture.

But don't stop.
Every month gets more and more fun.

You are Mr. Personality.
So social (especially with the ladies)
You are a crowd stopper.

You love to play with people.
You squeal, you giggle, you anticipate.
You are SO attentive.

This month your eyes have "opened" to daddy
He walks in your view and you instantly smile.
This makes him super happy.
He loves his boy.
I can always tell when you've had daddy time because you'll have these spots of rashy skin where daddy's unshaved "whiskers" have tickled you.
You love it when he puts you on his shoulders.

You love to go on walks and jogs.

You are almost sitting up by yourself.
You see what you want and dive for it...which can be somewhat embarrassing when it's time for you to eat, haha.

Grandpa came to visit for a spontaneous quick trip! You sure do love him. He's crazy and fun!

Firsts:
>You've experienced your first freezing day! It got to be frigid cold and the weather acted like it forgot about fall and skipped straight to winter. You are so cute in beanies and all bundled up!
>You are now sleeping in your own room + crib. We were both ready for that one...you're such a big boy and transitioned really well!
>I let you have a taste of my apple (your first taste of food other than mom's milk). You love when I cut around the core and let you gnaw on it. You don't like when I take it away.
>First high chair experience. You like playing with the measuring cup
>You met Jocko, the Mexican kissing Monkey when "Cazy" Grandpa came to visit this month

>We borrowed a jumper and excersaucer from a friend--you like to play in them...for about 5 minutes (or less) at a time.

>You had your first costume party. You were a lobster and we were the chefs! You made a very fine lobster :)

>On Oct. 13th you had your first solid food (homemade pureed sweet potato + kabocha squash)

4 months Old

2012-09-24T18:01:00.000-07:00

Oh baby, baby...I'm sure I'll say this every month but boy, did this past month FLY!!

This picture was taken when you were 4 months old...just a little over a month ago.

And HOW YOU HAVE GROWN!! This month:

You were a chatty, smiling, giggling, and expressive little boy. You grab for toys and reach for people (mainly me). You like to grab daddy's beard and mommy's hair. Your neck is so strong and you are holding your head up pretty well. You put everything in your mouth!

You love people and are quite a flirt with the ladies.
You love bathtime.
You like music.
You love being held. (yay Ergo)
You like tickles.
You love your Elmo.

Your Firsts
You had your first Hog's game watching experience (TV side that is)...too bad your birth did not bring them much luck. Maybe next year. WPS.

You had your first fever and your first ear infection. Sick babies are not fun! It was miserable to hear you cough and hurt and not be able to do much for you.

We took you swimming for more than just a dip...still not quite sure what you think about that great big body of chilly pool water.

We got a jogging stroller and you had your first jogger experience with daddy. You love being outside and the movement put you to sleep.

Stats:

You weighed in as 12 lb 12 oz at your last wellness check. 2 weeks after that we returned for our sick appt (with the ear infection) and you had grown! Last time you were weighed you were 13 lbs. You have a little tushy so you're in 3 month pants but 3-6 month onesies and footie jammies.

Three Months Old (the "4th month")

2012-08-14T11:27:00.001-07:00

I'm switching it up a bit. It's confusing to say the "4th month" and that he is 3 months old, so now I am transitioning to just "__ months old". This blog post is looking back on this last month. Today he turned 4 months old...where has the time gone? Here are your 3months and 4months pics to show how you've grown!

Well-this month I can say that I'm officially back in the land of the living. Yes the land of the living, not so much the land of the fully-rested, but definitely back to feeling more "me". I think I had a stint of the baby blues and I'm so glad that is over.

This month has been a complete joy. I LOVE BEING A MOM. Ethan has evolved into such a happy, smiley, squealy, joy of a boy! I am so beyond bless to have him as a son. And his cute personality is really blossoming...crazy that a baby this small can have a personality.

This month has been a month of lots of development. When you were just a few days shy of 3 months old, you rolled over and that has been a more consistent thing this month- especially when you are passionate about something :)

Other developments this month:
- You found your hands: you often double fist it in your mouth and you also like to stare at them
- You're finding your voice- you coo and squeal and use lots of vowel sounds
- You love to grab and kick the toys dangling from your playmat
- You found your feet...first the left one and now both. They are quite fascinating
- Your head control is growing every day, you are becoming such a big boy
- Adios swaddle, hola "lovies"
- You've been growing like a weed child, please slow down (wishful thinking)
- Nursing like a champ still...but in half the time (wooohoooo...mommy's got so much time now!)

You like:
- People! You like to interact with lots of people.
- The Story family! Mrs. Angela has been taking care of you until you start PlayLearn and you love her and her 2 boys!
- To smile really big
- B-zerberts (there's that crazy word again)
- Bath time
- Music + singing
- Sleeping with your "lovies" L.E. (the elephant) and Monkee (the Monkey) ... yes, I named them
- You are now on a great routine during the day. It's Eat:Play:Sleep ... that's what your days mostly look like

What your daddy and I love:
- You
- The way you smile at yourself in the mirror
- All the ways you develop in a week--it's so fun to watch you discover yourself and the world
- Making you smile--you make me feel like I've hung the moon and the stars
- You will cry to get up in the morning, not because you are hungry or cranky ... but because you want interaction. As soon as I look at you and talk to you (about 6:30 in the a.m), you smile right back---it's time to play :)
- You like to take walks more than you used to!!
- This reflux seems to be under control (THANK YOU GOD!)

Stats:
You haven't been measured since your last visit and i can't wait to see how much you have grown when we go to see Dr. Jackson next week. But this month you have ditched the 0-3 month clothing pretty fast and are wearing 3 months or 3-6month clothing now.

Firsts:
You just met your Grandma Great (Grami's mom) your middle name is Grandma Great's maiden name - Gallagher

More pics: