Keeping up with the Hills

Happy Love Day...

2012-02-14T09:40:00.001-05:00

Love is...

being loved for just being yourself.

no strings attached.

warts and all.

Happy Valentine's Day!
~Love, The Hills'

Love is....

2012-02-13T12:58:00.000-05:00

Love is..

waking up to coffee and Jesus at 5:00 am.

the sound of Presley's feet coming into the den soon after at 5:30 am.

her kissing my cheek.

kissing Joseph's warm, pink cheeks in the morning as I wake him up.

hearing Lem's loud and booming voice..."good morning, Hill family!"

hearing my Joseph read the bible in the car on the way to school.

calling my momma and hearing her voice.

getting a text from my daddy because he hates to text.

vacation with just me and my three.

vacation with friends.

long car rides with Lem.

drive-thru dinners.

any holiday.

a clean house.

when Lem says, "this song is from me to you."

when Lem leaves me a random note.

pushing Presley on the swing.

going for a girls walk with Presley and having "girl talk".

remembering that Joseph still loves me.....even when he pushes me away.

remembering that it's all part of growing up.

literally feeling Jesus holding me at times when I am sad.

hearing Him whisper to me that He's there.

dinner at momma jane's.

dessert at momma jane's.

birthday parties.

my momma's green cake.

momma jane's strawberry cake.

a shower after being sick for 3 days.

chicken noodle soup from a friend.

a card in the mail.

i could go on....

Good people..

2012-02-08T14:09:00.003-05:00

Wednesday...

lunch with my Lem.

pizza and greek salad at mellow mushroom.

my fave.

my fave place to eat with my fave man.

yippee!

dinner and bible study with my friends last night.

surrounded by kelly, ashley b., mari, and ashley m.

they inspire me.

i love to hear their stories.

i love to hear where they are in life.

i could literally just sit for hours listening about their precious lives.

they all make me want to be better.

i remember praying that the Lord would bring me some friends in this town.

not just any friends, but good friends.

it took Him a while, but He did.

and, oh did He.

the best kind of friends.

God has purposefully surrounded me with girls that spur me on to be better.

not only that, but that spur me on to just be myself.

no pretense, no formalities.

yep, i love these girls.

happy wednesday.

Today...

2012-02-06T17:09:00.004-05:00

Today:

better than yesterday.

my cold is going away.

my brand new friend, Leslie, whom I met through SHINE, made me 3 BIG bowls of chicken noodle soup. she said it had healing powers. she was right.

i have a new BFF--see above.

i went to starbucks and got a grande chai tea latte.

i went to trader joe's with a chai latte in hand.

this made me happy.

i spent only $100.16 at TJ's,

that's a miracle.

i delivered my sis some chicken noodle soup and a brownie from chic-fil-a (she had a root canal today)

she still doesn't know i put it in her fridge, she was sleeping..and she is STILL sleeping.

one of her kids probably ate it already.

i still want to adopt a child...or two.

i am okay if we don't.

I love babies.

i miss having babies.

i cried in the car today by myself.

ugly cried.

all because of a steven curtis chapman song.

man, he gets me every time.

my mom called while i was in full cry mode.

she had no idea.

if i told her, i would cry more.

i think i am hormonal today.

we are having japanese for dinner tonight.

joseph asked if we could have italian tomorrow night---pizza.

i love that kid.

i love my life.

Momma knows best...

2012-02-04T18:12:00.001-05:00

I feel like crap today.

After being in bed for the last 2 hours, I had to go to the computer to answer an email that I had gotten.

I was just about to log off when I saw a new email from my Momma. She rarely sends me emails because we talk on the phone every single day. I'm so blessed.

When I read the RE: part of the email....tears started running down my cheeks.

It was: "re: chicken soup from your Mom."

She spoke of how she wishes that we could go back in time to Rex, Ga (where I lived until first grade) and nurse me back to health. She said she would take me out of school for the week and take care of me.

Okay, crying again.

Note to self: crying with a head cold=painful.

The last line of her email is what put me over the edge...

"I could run find a bible verse, but instead I will say don't be weary in well doing, serve the Lord with all your heart and all the days of your life. He won't let you be sad over things that everyday become your history, kids will grow up, things change, it is the continuance of his plan. xxooooxxxooo your momma

Yes, this is the part that pushed me overboard.

**composing myself and wiping my nose**

Ahem, okay.

I always say that I feel like the Lord has given me a double or even triple dose of realizing the importance of the moment that I am in. Sometimes this can be a hindrance to me though.

It makes me sad, on the verge of depression at times. I love these days with my family. I want to freeze time. In fact, there is a country song called, "You're gonna miss this". I cannot hear it anymore. It makes me cry.

Not just cry, but ugly cry.

I just cannot hear it anymore.

In my heart, I know that God does not want me to be sad about the future. He wants me to trust Him, completely. I want to believe and trust in the fact that every day will be the best day of my life.

But, oh it is so hard.

If I can humbly ask my readers for prayer in this area, I would be so grateful. Specifically that I will not dread the future, or my children growing up. I want to enjoy the moment AND look forward to what the Lord holds for our future.

Yes! That's what I want.

Thank you for your prayers.

How can I pray for you?

thankful for it all,

jill

A glimpse of hard...

2012-02-04T08:26:00.000-05:00

Hard things...

watching my children grow up.

watching loved ones go through a valley.

making bad decisions.

having an unsaved family member.

dropping my kids off at school and not being able to see them for another 7 hours.

having lunch with my kids and then having to leave them.

conviction.

discernment.

disciplining my children.

seeing disappointment on my childrens' faces.

seeing my Joseph cry.

seeing my Lem cry.

seeing my Presley cry.

seeing anyone cry.

the beginning of another school year.

the end of another school year.

looking at scrapbooks of my children..and seeing just how fast time flies.

being rejected.

being misunderstood.

being truthful when you know it will be painful for the person to hear.

ending a blog post.

Where I'm at...

2012-02-01T21:37:00.002-05:00

Things I love about my life right now....

taking my babies to school. the car ride is the best 20 minutes of my day.

hearing Joseph read the Bible on the way to school.

watching Presley in the rear view mirror when we pray. she always looks over at Joseph to see if he is peeking.

i am okay with being the size that i am. this has not always been the case.

i think good skincare is important.

i don't need a boob lift..yet.

my husband is my best friend.

i can still hold Presley in my arms, with her legs wrapped around me.

finding that God's will really is best.

i love our church.

God loves getting personal with me.

starting to enjoy the little things. (like having a good 15 minutes to sit down and blog.)

diet coke is not good for me.

neither is regular coke.

i just don't really care about having a tan anymore.

i like to smell good.

i wear perfume every.single.day.

i like to have a clean car. it never happens though.

i don't leave the house without makeup. not because i am vain, just because i don't want to scare the neighbors.

my favorite time of the day is 5 am.

my second favorite time of the day is 5:30 am when my Presley wakes up.

i love being the first one up.

meeting a friend for coffee is the best.

meeting 3 friends for coffee is the best ever.

a note in the mail.

mailing someone a note.

surprising my husband.

surprising my kids.

being okay with the face that my house will never be clean enough.

being okay with wrinkles on my clothes. and on my face.

realizing it's okay to say no.. the world won't stop.

treating myself to a manicure every once in a while is a good, good thing.

running by myself, with no ipod, is a good way to talk to the Lord.

i prefer a quiet house while kids are at school. no t.v, no radio, just me and God talking.

i don't really watch t.v. anymore. Lem thinks this is so weird.

i love to sit next to Lem.

i love watching Lem in a crowd. he is so funny and always the cutest one. :)

watching Lem play basketball. he's so good lookin'. and he's really good.

being okay with not having an up-to-date scrapbook on my kids. they'll survive.

being okay with mis-matched dishes. it adds character.

realizing that God pursues me. wow.

blessed and then some,

jill

SHINE goes Italian....

2012-01-30T22:27:00.000-05:00

yes, i am a dork....some things never change.
i made them raise their hands and yell SHINE! :)

surrounded by my Johnathan's. <3
see post here...
http://shinegirlsshine.blogspot.com/2012/01/friday-shine_27.html

Happy Birthday Dinner for me. The gift was their company.

We ate at Chianti's. One of my faves.

I love these girls.

Every last cute little one of them.

Thank you, friends!

Presley and Annie....

2012-01-21T07:43:00.000-05:00

As if the Lord had not shown me enough Red birds this week, he ended my Friday night with one last one.

My Presley made the Annie play!

She and several other of her young little friends will be opening the play with a little song and dance..."You are never fully dressed without a smile!"

I am thinking that they probably let everyone have a little part in the play that tried out...and I think that is just the coolest thing.

You would think that Presley had the lead role as Annie. She is over the moon. She woke up and came into the den singing the "You are never fully dressed without a smile" song.

Ahhhh!

Thank you, Jesus for showing me another red bird.

He's so personal with us, friends. He wants to get down and dirty into your business in a big way.

Not sure about you, but I love a friend that gets down and dirty and who's not afraid to get in your business when they need to. It shows they love us. Big time.

That's our Jesus. The greatest friend you will ever have. Ever.

Look for some red birds today, friends. He is waiting to show them to you.

expecting more red birds,

jill

No Coincidences here...

2012-01-20T16:29:00.003-05:00

Just a little update.

Still no word on whether Presley made either audition. She wakes up every single morning and asks if we've heard anything. Love her.

Meanwhile, Joseph is planned to participate in the county spelling bee next Saturday.

Seriously, where do these kids come from? I scratch my head quite often.

It's definitely not true that the apple doesn't fall far from tree. Because, in this case, the apples fell, rolled down the hill, and rolled right into the roaring river.

This week has been quite amazing. I tend to overuse that word, amazing, but it always seems fitting.

I had a close friend sit across the table from me at a local coffee shop, with tears in her eyes, telling me of a restored relationship in her life. After many, many years of not speaking, God had restored their relationship in a matter of seconds.

The very next day, Joseph and I were having lunch at Chic-fil-a. As we sat across the booth from one another, I am re-telling the story of Saul that we have been reading about in 1 Samuel.

We are discussing Saul's lack of obedience and how Saul jumped ahead of God's timing. Because of this, Saul lost God's favor and pretty much lost everything. Whew.

As we are discussing the story, I see a beautiful girl in the booth behind us. She is by herself and reading her Bible. I remember thinking.."Oh, Lord.. please let that be Presley one day. Please, please."

We are about to leave, when Joseph asks if we can eat at ice cream together before we go. Always a sucker for some Chic-fil-a ice cream, I easily oblige.

He is up getting the ice cream when the young girl asks if she can talk to me for a second. "Sure", I tell her.

She then proceeds to tell me of how she was listening to the story about Saul that I was telling Joseph. She said she needed to hear that very message at that very moment.

Her eyes flooded with tears as she showed me a passage in Acts that God had just showed her as she sat down in the booth. It was a verse on waiting and not rushing ahead of the Lord.

We were both stunned. She then proceeded to tell me of how she had been in a 3 year relationship with a guy and he had broken her heart. She was so confused, and angry at the same time.

She wanted answers from the Lord over why this was happening. She still loved this guy and needed to know why the relationship was not God's plan at this time.

God was trying to tell her to be patient and praise Him in the waiting.

Oh man, we were both just awe struck by our whole conversation. God had seated us at that very booth so that we could talk to each other. Wow.

I got her number, she got mine and I hope to hear how her story unfolds one day. I pray that she will just trust the Lord, and know He is working this out for her in her best interest.

Her name was Brittany, she was 19.

Not only was the Lord showing her something through all of that, but He was showing me something.

God was showing me that all of this...all of this, is for His purpose. Even the smallest details of my day are orchestrated by Him.

Joseph on any other day would have been in school. He was sick that day and I had taken him to the doctor. I would normally never take him out to eat on a sick day. However, I felt like I should that day.

Man, the Holy Spirit had this all planned out. It still gives me chills.

Today, I get a phone call from a loved one that something incredible has unfolded in her marriage. Something that we have been praying for, for a very long time.

Really?

Coincidence?

Never.

God is in charge of all of this restoration. He orchestrates every detail.

He wants me to know that He is at work. He is doing His part in all of this.

I must trust Him, and praise Him in the waiting as well.

I know this is just the first of many red-birds (as I like to call these kind of moments) that I will see along the way. They never get old. I am always left dumb-founded and completely struck by our God.

What's your red-bird, friend?

Seek Him, He is longing to show Himself to you.

ever in awe,

jill

The Audition(s)....

2012-01-18T20:19:00.001-05:00

I am so in love with my kids.

And my husband.

Not necessarily in that order.

The last few days have been very special and "living in the moment" kind of days...even more so than usual.

Every second with my kids makes me the happiest girl in the whole word. It really does.

I know people say that a lot..but I really, truly mean it. They make me laugh the MOST. They make me feel like the silliest person in the world...I love that!

They need me. I dig that.

They make me better.

For example, just yesterday, my Presley tried out for two plays. Yes, two.

One was for her school play, the other was for the high school play. Who does this??

She does!

Her confidence and boldness teaches me. Every day.

I pray (a lot) that she will make at least one of them. My heart breaks thinking of the idea that she may not make either. She is so sure of herself, so confident. I want her to stay that way...whether she makes the play or not.

Yesterday, I had completely forgotten about the high school audition for Annie. It was scheduled for 7-9 pm. Presley goes to bed by 8:00.

I was worried she would be too tired to go. Nope. She was ready, standing at the door with an adorable headband topped with a big, fat pink flower on top of it.

Irresistible, she was.

Confident, she was.

Courageous, she was.

Bold, she was.

Yep, she's teaching me. Every day.

enjoying being her student,

jill

Change of plans.....

2012-01-18T05:53:00.001-05:00

I posted this on the SHINE blog today. I wanted to share it on my blog as well, because it is personal. I want to remember this and want to be able to look back on this and remember:

As I got up this morning to read 1 Samuel 13, I have to be honest..I wasn't really feeling it. I could tell as soon as I poured my hot coffee that I wanted to go through the motions a little today.

I wanted to just kind of stay numb and in my own thoughts. I wanted to process some heavy things going on right now around me. I wanted to just wrap my brain around those things and figure them out.

As I type this, my eyes are blood-shot, and tear stains are on my cheeks.

Reading 1 Samuel 13 was really the last thing I wanted to do as I sat down in my little chair in the den at 5:00 am. I just wanted to melt and go away for a little while.

You see, I love getting up early because it helps me to focus and get my day right with the Lord.

However, this morning, I just wanted to sit and cry and try to figure out what I can do to help my loved ones figure out the mess of things that have unfolded. Ugh. Heart broken.

In fact, I found a few quiet minutes yesterday and had already prepared something for today's blog post. I was prepared to send it early this morning.

Change of plans.

Why the change of heart?

I read 1 Samuel 13.

Actually, I had thought about doing my reading later today...I needed to just sit in this chair, drink my coffee and figure things out.

However, I remember telling you all from the first email to read the reading before you do anything else.

I heard my own voice echoing in my head, so I didn't want to be a hypocrite in that respect.

As I looked around for my Bible, I realized that I had left it in the car. Shoot.

I like reading my Bible...my very own.

This day was already starting out not good.

I found my husbands bible and sat down to read.

I'm so glad I did.

In these passages, Saul gets impatient and decides to go ahead with his plan instead of following God's plan. He makes a move too early, and offers the burnt sacrifices before the Lord had appointed Him to.

He was supposed to wait for Samuel to get there before doing this. Saul became impatient and took matters into his own hands.

From that point on, He lost God's favor.

Oh, girls! This is HUGE to me!

How many times, have I taken matters into my own hands because I didn't want to wait any longer? I wanted to rush to the outcome that I so desperately wanted...only to find that it led to disappointment.

What is God telling us in 1 Samuel 13?

Keep TRUSTING Him and stay OBEDIENT to Him, even when things seems bleak and hopeless.

Oh, man...could God make it any clearer to me this morning?

Here I was trying to figure out how to make things better and tweak the seemingly inevitable outcomes of things around me.

However, God is telling me..."wait on me, Jill. Wait on me. Trust in me. Despite the looming clouds and the thunder and lightning...wait on me. Trust me."

Not sure about you girls, but I don't want to be like Saul. I don't EVER want to lose God's favor because I lacked the faith in Him to carry me through.

I want to be the one that trusts Him, no matter. No matter what.

What storms are raging around you that you are doing everything in your power to control?

Are you truly trusting and waiting on the Lord through faith and obedience?

Or, are you like Saul (and myself)..and have decided to take matters in your own hands and hoping God will think your idea is a better one.

Oh, girls....let's not miss this.

Let's learn from Saul. Let's learn from his mistakes.

Stay on course, girls. Let's quit taking matters into our own hands because we are impatient.

Let's trust Him. No matter what.

"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

re-setting my compass,

jill

Be Quiet....

2012-01-16T21:13:00.000-05:00

Having a lot of A-ha's lately.

Let me rephrase, God is showing me a lot of A-ha's lately.

Phrases keep coming into my head and scriptures keep popping up all over the place repeating the same thing...

"I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28.

I feel and hear the Lord beckoning me to draw closer to Him. To come to a quieter place and hear him.

My world is busy. Phones ringing, phones beeping, phones vibrating, emails being delivered, emails being sent, blogs being posted, blogs being commented on, children fussing, husbands beckoning, doorbell ringing, tv blaring, oven timer going off, dryer buzzing.....

The list goes on.

How in the world am I supposed to hear from God if my ears have all of this clanging going on?

So, it's time to follow His lead. I am going to a quiet place to get some rest.

His Word.

When I go to His word, He brings my anxious heart peace. I know this, but why is it so hard to get to that quiet place?

Is it that I want to feel important and loved so I refuse to give up some of the things clamoring for my attention?

Is it that I am afraid of the transparency that I find in the quiet moments with the Lord?

Am I scared of what He may show me?

Perhaps.

Besides, the world says it's good to be "busy." It's good to be needed. It's good to be super-woman. It's good to be wanted, invited, and sought after by others.

However, is that what God's Word says?

As I sat on my bed tonight with a heavy heart and a hungry spirit...I opened the Bible directly to this passage.

It's the same passage that the Lord has been showing me all Summer. The same passage that launched SHINE into existence.

However, this small little passage in those scriptures stood out on the page for me tonight like He was shining a spotlight on them.

"Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." Mark 6:31.

He may as well of dropped a brick on my head.

He is telling me, once again, that I need some rest. He wants me out of the "busy" and into the place where He can be found.

That's what I want.

That's where I want to be.

So, as I tune into Him and tune out the noise, I will be waiting for Him to speak to me once more.

I will be waiting for Him to fill my hungry spirit and my thirsty soul. He is the only thing that can fill it.

silence is golden,

jill

Humble me, why don't ya.....

2012-01-13T20:28:00.001-05:00

Sometimes life if just plain humbling.

For example: A few days after Christmas I broke out in a horrid rash on my stomach, chest and back.

Okay, "horrid" may be an understatement.

It was horrendous. Yes, that sounds better....horrendous.

It looked like the chicken pox, but only uglier.

Thank goodness, it's sweater, scarf and turtleneck weather, or I really would have been doomed to confinement.

Soon after, a big crusty fever blister popped up on my bottom lip.

To top THAT off, another formed right below it hanging off the corner of my mouth. Yes, hanging off the corner--you read that right.

More than once these past couple of weeks I have been asked.."Are you....okay?"

This only after seeing my face broken out, fever blistered...oh, and did I mention dark circles under my eyes?

Nice.

Pity stares, I'm tellin' ya.

Well, here we are going on week 3 of this rash. Now, it's crawled up my neck. Yes, my neck.

To top THAT off, I was applying mascara and noticed a little spot on my eye lid. Yep, my eye lid.

Good grief. Give a girl a break, will ya?

So, I called the doctor at dark thirty this morning. The dermatologist.

The answering service picked up. Shoot.

When I want to see a doctor, I want to see a doctor...NOW.

Have a little sympathy....when you look like Frankenstein's twin sister, you get a little irritable.

Finally, I get an appointment--after practically begging the poor secretary on the other end of the line.

The PA walks into the room where they have chosen me to bare my ugly rash. As I am pulling up my shirt and pointing, she is looking down. She hardly gives me a glance.

"You're fine. It's just contact dermatitis. Or something similar." She says.

(Basically, my skin had a reaction to something....helpful, huh?)

She then says, "I will get the nurse to come and give you a shot.....in the butt, and you will be okay."

I had lost every ounce of dignity that I had left.

Here I was looking like Leo the Leopard and now I had to have a shot in my......buttocks.

(Did she have to say.....butt? It was so.....demeaning.)

Before I had time to draw my composure, the nurse walks in with a needle.

Good grief, I mean, give me a minute to freshen up will ya?

I was not prepared to pull down my pants and bend over. (sorry for the graphics, but the truth is the truth, people.)

Girls, you know what I mean by "not prepared". I did not have on my cute panties or anything of the such. I was wearing my oldest and ugliest undergarments.

Shoot.

My face was reddening by the minute. I mean, come on nurse...you didn't even lock the door.

What if someone walked in?

I mean, this is the kind of stuff that gets put on YouTube.

After the shot, I got in my car, put my tail between my legs and drove home.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

This didn't help.

I am not vain, but a girl likes to be able to catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror and not shudder.

Is that too much to ask?

So, meanwhile, when you see me...just tell me I look great.

Lie to me.

I'm okay with that.

rash and all,

jill

**don't even think about asking me to post a picture...not a chance.**

Remember to Live...

2012-01-09T18:57:00.002-05:00

My stomach hurts.

My head hurts.

I feel a little numb.

We just got home from David's memorial service.

My life will never be the same, of that you can be sure. I want to be like David. Period.

The church was so full that there were friends lined up and down the walls and out the sanctuary door.

Wow.

A man I've never even met face to face.

A man that has touched my heart...no, not touched....etched. He has etched my heart. He has left an undeniable etching right in the center of my heart.

I remember when my friend, Heather, died. I felt much the same as I do today.

Numb.

Shock.

Sadness.

In fact, I just realized that after Heather's funeral...that hot July day...I immediately came home and took a bath.

As soon as I got home today from David's memorial service today, I crawled right into a hot, steamy bath.

Maybe, in some way, the burning of the water takes the pain of my heart away for a few minutes.

Or maybe, it's the sadness and the grief that I am trying to wash off of me.

Or maybe, just maybe, it's the solitude of being alone with my thoughts and my God...so that my heart can cry the most.

When Heather died, I sat in the hot tub, and knew that my life would be different from that day forward. I realized the smallness of my time here on Earth.

I realized that I wanted to live life to the fullest.

I wanted to take chances.

I wanted to unlock the chains from my heart of bitterness, hurt, fear of rejection, unforgiveness.

That very day, I set my heart free.

Free to take risks, free to fly, free to dream.

But most of all free to love.

As I sat in the hot bath today, after David's memorial...I realized the gift that David's life was to me.

His battle and his journey brought me to my knees in prayer every single day.

Out of his pain, illness, and sickness...my prayer life was restored.

Through that restoration, my life will never be the same. Ever.

How can I ever thank him for that?

I think I know.

I will live like he lived.

Love like he loved.

Memento Vivere.

changed,

jill

I have a dream....

2012-01-07T09:08:00.002-05:00

My personal favorite SHINE girl.

I am so excited to announce the birth of something that God has completely put together with His very own hands.

My heart is absolutely blown away by what the Lord is doing in the lives of His people...especially His women.

It has been my DREAM for a very long time to have a platform to help lead others to Christ.

However, I have very, very limited skills and abilities. For real.

I cannot sing, I do not public speak, I am not a leader. In fact I get all weak in the knees just thinking about all that stuff.

So, I have always prayed that God would just use me to do something that honors Him...whatever His plan should be.

I truly believe SHINE is the answer to my prayer.

SHINE is an online weekly Bible reading group. We read a chapter a day on weekdays only.

We save the weekends for catching up if we need to.

The reading plan is adapted from my wonderful church..Eastridge Community.

I have NO idea what the Lord has in store for this little group. My prayer is that lives will be transformed, restored and renewed in their relationship with the Father.

When we are soaking up God's word, we cannot help but change....and radiate His light and love.

I invite every reader...(all two of you) to be a SHINE girl with us. Let's stay accountable to each other, pray for each other, and follow our Shepherd to greener pastures.

The Lord laid this scripture on my heart for our SHINE group...

"Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed." Psalm 34:5

My 7 year old is looking over my shoulder as I type. She wants me to let all of you know that she too...is a SHINE girl! She wants me to tell you that "She SHINES like a lightbulb!"

Tears of JOY.

SHINE girls come in all ages, shapes, colors and sizes. The more colorful and different we are, the more we radiate His glory!

Please check out our blog page..and JUMP in and SHINE!

www.shinegirlsshine.blogspot.com

shining like a lightbulb,

jill & presley ;-)

Pass me a Kleenex....

2012-01-06T12:23:00.002-05:00

I sit here and type, but I really need to be doing housework.

My floors are dirty, they need a good sweep and vacuum. But, I just can't right now.

While making my bed a few minutes ago, I started sobbing uncontrollably.

My heart is still aching from the loss of David.

The strange thing is...we were not really "friends." I knew his brother and hung out with his brother a little after high school. I had never really met David.

Until Facebook.

When I heard of his illness, I contacted him and introduced myself and expressed to him how my family and I were in fervent prayer for his healing.

We sent a few emails back and forth a couple of times, and I posted countless encouraging scriptures on his wall.

But, we had never even met.

It doesn't matter though. My heart grieves for the loss of his presence and his warmth that he radiated.

I just saw a picture of him on facebook taken when he was about 12...it hit my heart hard.

I saw him as a little boy, close to my Joseph's age.

As a Mother, I grieve. As a wife, I grieve. As a friend, I grieve. As a sister in Christ, I grieve.

I know he is healed. And smiling.

I take comfort in that.

I will finally meet him face to face one day. I will hug his neck, and tell him what he has done for me...for us.

Jesus took him for a reason. The reason is becoming crystal clear to me.

His life has impacted so many. His life is drawing us all closer to Jesus because of our sorrow.

Oh, Jesus...how I love you.

blowing snot bubbles, but still trusting,

jill

A time to weep....

2012-01-04T11:15:00.000-05:00

I knew it when I woke up this morning at 5:15 and read my Jesus Calling devotional.

Here are the first few sentences...

"I want you to learn a new habit. Try saying, "I trust You, Jesus" in response to whatever happens to you. If there is time, thing about who I am in all My Power and Glory; ponder also the depth and breadth of My Love for you.

This simple practice will help you see Me in every situation, acknowledging My sovereign control over the universe. When you view events from My perspective--through the Light of My universal Presence--fear loses its grip on you."

I knew He was preparing me. Preparing us for the news.

We lost a friend today. No, let me rephrase, we didn't lose him, we know where he is.

He is sitting next to Jesus. Wearing his new attire, and glowing so bright that it would hurt our eyes to see him.

He is healed. Completely.

Our prayers were answered.

We prayed for healing...God gave David the ultimate medicine to heal.

Himself.

I am sitting in my bed, coffee to the left, computer on my lap, and bible to the right of me.

When I heard the news this morning, I was headed to spin class.

My thoughts were jumbled, my mind was racing with anxious thoughts for David's family.

I just kept saying, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus."

I am still saying that.

I don't know what else to say. Perhaps that is the only thing to say.

I trust you, Jesus.

My Hope is in the Lord.

I envision David looking down from Heaven and seeing the final masterpiece of his life complete. Jesus is showing him the pieces of the puzzle that we don't see. I envision David smiling and laughing and nodding his head as he sees the purpose in all of this.

We will see it one day too.

We will see our brother in Christ again. Sooner than we can even imagine.

God brings us strength through death. We learn things that we could not have been taught otherwise.

Death brings the reality of our earthly mortality. However, it also brings the truth of our Eternal Home.

I will choose to continue trusting Jesus.

He is the only way.

This verse gave me comfort when thinking of David's widow, Lisa. At 37, she bears the burden of raising 2 children without her superman.

" He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young. " Isaiah 40:11

This was the verse in my devotional this morning.

If this doesn't show us that He is all sovereign and in control...I don't know what does. He gave this to us.

His words.

He is tending his flock. Of this we can be sure.

trusting you Jesus,

Jill

Grace in the moment....

2012-01-03T08:24:00.000-05:00

Today.

Today, I am overwhelmed by God's grace and His Glory.

I sat in the quiet of my den this morning with my very hot cup of coffee and just cried before the Lord.

He absolutely knocks me to my knees with His presence.

He has never been more REAL to me than right now.

He shows Himself time and time again in my life...and I just don't understand why He loves me so much.

I don't deserve it...and He knows it.

I guess that is the cool thing about Grace.....although, I don't deserve it, He still lavishes it upon me.

Goodness, that's love.

It's really too much for me to even wrap my tiny little brain around. Perhaps that's why it's freeing.

I don't have to wrap my brain around it all...I just need to sit and soak Him up.

And trust Him.

Just when I think, I have screwed it up beyond repair...He offers me another chance.

Grace.

It's a beautiful thing.

soaking Him up,

jill

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Week One...

2012-01-02T09:28:00.002-05:00

OK, so today starts our weekly Bible reading plan. I am really not sure what God has thrown me into...but I am excited!

Normally, I would be completely overwhelmed at the thought of such a commitment. Need I remind you of my commitment phobia?

I am not sure if I will post all of them emails on my blog or not. Still figuring that out. However, I do encourage all of my (one or two) readers to make a commitment to studying His word. Daily.

Joy, strength and wisdom will come like never before.

Who doesn't want a little of that?

I know I want it and I need it.

So, here is today's email...it's never to late to jump in.

Just email me at lemandjill@gmail.com and you will be in our little group.

Fun, right?

Good morning, girls! Happy New Year!

Are you ready to start this year off on the right track? I know I sure am!

I love the start of a new year. It offers a clean slate.

Anyone besides me need a clean slate?

Regardless of how 2011 was for you...God offers us new Hope every single day. He is a God of second chances, and third, and fourth, and fifth....and so on.

How cool is that?

I for one, need His grace. Every single day. I cannot even begin to count the many chances He has already given me. Whew.

This virtual bible study is new for me...and probably you too. However, just because we are not face to face doesn't mean it's not personal.

I want you all to know that I am praying for each of your sweet faces (even if I don't know your face).

My heart is taking this very seriously, because I need this accountability.

Please feel free to share at any time....anything on your heart regarding the reading or if you just want to share something in your life. We are all here to encourage and stand shoulder to shoulder together as sisters in Christ.

If you are feeling weak, stressed, angry, bitter, sad....call on us for prayer. The enemy wants us to keep those feelings inside...because then they have power over us.

When we bring our deepest hurts into the Light of the Father, we are healed. Completely.

Many of you have asked about Bible apps for your phones. There are a lot of good ones. YouVersion is a popular one. You can select any format as far as New International. American Standard, King James, etc. This makes it easy to pull up scripture on your phone at any given time.

I also encourage you to find a quiet spot in the morning with your Bible already there...and coffee too! It will make it easier for you to just get up and go to your little spot without much thinking.

Go to Him before checking your email, turning on the news, etc....let Him be the FIRST thing you do. (I am really speaking to myself here!)

In the meantime, pray for each other. Pray for your fellow sisters. Strength and Joy come through prayer.

Also, if you know anyone else that may want to do this...please include them. We are not a closed group. Ever.

Let's do this, girls!

Let your little lights SHINE today and every day!

Oh, how HE loves YOU!

loving this clean slate,

Jill

Hello 2012....

2012-01-01T08:29:00.000-05:00

It's 8:20 am and I am the first one up.

Did I say the first one up? I mean the second one up. My little Presley is always the first one.

God love her.

I just wanted to wish all of you a very Happy and Blessed New Year.

This year has been a roller coaster to say the least.

Thank the Lord for His big strong arms carrying us through it all.

My resolution?

I want to be radical in my faith and my love for Jesus Christ.

I want to make a difference. Even if it is only in one life...I want to make a difference.

Not for my glory, but for the glory of the Lord.

I want everyone I know to know Jesus Christ. Not just know Him, but love Him.

Not just a fan, but a follower.

A groupie.

Yes, a groupie for Christ.

That's my resolution.

That's my heart's desire.

What's yours?

your fellow groupie,

Jill

Second chances....

2011-12-30T08:51:00.000-05:00

and we thought this was the hardest part of parenthood....boy, were we wrong.

Being a Momma is the hardest job in the whole wide world. Don't get me wrong...it is absolutely the best job, but also the hardest.

Lately my children have been fussing a whole heck of a lot. It drives me crazy.

No, it drives me insane.

I want my kids to be friends, the best of friends. I want peace in my house. I want loving words and kind acts of generosity.

Is that too much to ask?

Maybe I have aimed my sights too high.

After much prayer about this...I have decided to try a new approach.

On Tuesday of this week, my kids were back and forth, back and forth..arguing and tattle telling.

I was at my wits end with it all.

So, what's Momma to do?

I called them both into the den to have a "talk" with them.

They walked in with their little tails between their legs. They knew I had "had it".

"Joseph, I want you to go and clean your sisters room. Presley, I want you to go and clean your brothers room."

What?? They looked at me with complete disbelief.

They were not expecting this.

They both looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and went off to do the task at hand.

After about 20 minutes, I peaked in on them and they were both still cleaning the others room. Joseph told me that he wasn't quite finished, he wanted to make it really special for Presley.

Presley had organized all of Joseph's books and had his room looking better than ever.

I was shocked.

This plan had actually worked.

When they finished, they couldn't wait to show each other what they had done.

My heart was about to burst with joy!

They were learning that it really was more fun to give than to receive. It was fun to put a smile on someones face.

Praise Jesus. My work was done. (for that afternoon anyway).

The moral of this story is that each time my children show selfish, rotten behavior...they must serve someone else in some way to make up for their behavior.

The million times that I have sent them to their rooms, or spanked their little bottoms for crude behavior....was not really teaching them what to do instead. They were just "punished".

I want to show them a better way.

This lesson applies to yours truly as well. I really want to make more of an effort in putting others before myself. I need to be a daily example of this to my children. I have failed miserably a lot of days.

Today is a new day, though. I will do the opposite of what my selfish flesh wants to do, and serve others...on purpose.

I will continue to fail most days, but I will get up, shake off the dirt and try again.

Thank goodness we serve a God who believes in second chances.

Yes, being a parent is difficult, exhausting, overwhelming and just plain hard.

But, oh the joy of seeing the fruit of our hard work.

It's beyond exhilarating.

Wonder if that's how God feels about us?

I am betting it is.

thanking Him for second chances...and third and fourth...,

jill

Just ask your Momma....

2011-12-29T08:35:00.001-05:00

What is it about the end of the year that makes you want to clean your house from top to bottom and throw away everything and anything?

I have been on a rampage around here. Getting rid of things, organizing, cleaning...it's crazy.

Sometimes I get my greatest revelations from the Lord while cleaning. Seriously, it's true.

Today I have been thinking about this past year. Whew. It's been a roller coaster ride.

A whole lot of ups and a whole lot of downs. Crazy turns, white-knuckled dips, and close-your-eyes and hang on for dear life drops.

Through it all, Jesus has been right beside me. Always.

He has taught me so much this past year. I have grown.

Growing pains are painful. However, it was worth every ache.

He has taught me to have grace. This was a hard lesson. In order to have grace, you must experience something that makes it impossible to show grace.

It's excruciating.

However, grace cannot be received unless it is freely given.

He has also taught me to appreciate and foster the gifts that He has given me. This has been an area that I have often struggled with.

What in the world are my gifts? I can easily point out your gifts...but I can never seem to find mine.

Last year, I vividly remember my Mom and I sitting at my kitchen table. I was asking her if she thought I should go to cosmetology school.

You see, my sister is extremely gifted in this area. She can take anyone off the street and turn them into a super model. I am not exaggerating here. It's ridiculous.

She has this gift. I wanted this gift.

So, when I asked my Mom about cosmetology school, I was fully expecting her to be thrilled and hug me and say, "YES! that's it! that's your gift, Jill!"

This wasn't exactly what happened. She looked at me from across the table and was silent for a minute.

Ummm, hello? Why aren't you encouraging me, Mom?

She then said.."Jill, I know you love make-up and hair and all that fun stuff. However, your greatest gift is in your writing."

I was stunned. She may as well had slapped me in the face.

Writing? That's so boring.

There's nothing special about being able to say a few words on paper. Nothing glamorous about this. At all.

I was disappointed in her response and she knew it.

She then said, "I think you would be good at whatever you choose. However, your God-given gift is in your writing, Jill."

This didn't make me feel better. My balloon was deflated.

Visions of hair spray, bobby pins, and curling irons were quickly gone from my head.

So, what do I do with my so-called gift, Momma? I can't go just write a book and get it published. I am a stay-at-home momma with little time and little money.

She then said to me, "No, but you can blog. It's free. Just sit down and take the time to blog more."

I still was not happy with her answer. I wanted to have another gift. I wanted to be like my sister and transform people with the brush of my wand. It sure was a lot more glamorous than.....writing.

Why am I telling you all of this?

Because, I want to encourage you to foster your gifts. Your God-given gifts and talents.

We have a purpose here on this Earth. We have a call to fulfill.

If you are not sure what your gift is...ask someone. They can probably tell you without hesitation. Ask your momma...she knows you best.

Take your gifts and give them to the Lord. Honor Him with the gifts He has given you.

In saying this, I am telling myself the same thing.

I want to honor Him. I want to honor Him in the way he designed me to honor him.

What about you? What are your gifts?

My challenge for you is to discover those gifts. Trust me, you have them. You may not want to acknowledge them (like me) but you have them.

I truly believe that when we nurture those gifts and foster them, He will grow those gifts for His glory.

His glory is the very reason He gave us these gifts! Not for YOU, but for HIM!

I will be praying for you. Praying that you will heed the call and use the unique gifts that He has designed for you.

You are special. You are His.

I still have visions of cosmetology and make-up and fashion in my head...but I know for now, He just wants my obedience. Obedience in giving Him my best in the areas that He created me for.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ that you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24.

sharpening my pencils,

jill

Getting to know Him...

2011-12-28T09:42:00.004-05:00

I sent this email out to some friends today, and thought I would extend to my few and faithful blog readers. I would love for you to join me in this...the more the merrier.

If you are interested, you can leave a comment or email me at lemandjill@gmail.com

Hi, friends! Hoping that all of you had the merriest Christmas! It always seems to fly by doesn't it?

OK, well I will get to straight to the point of this email.

Here goes.

I feel like the Lord has laid it on my heart to host a weekly bible reading plan. Trust me, I argued with Him and told Him (as if He didn't know) my commitment phobia.

He didn't seem to care about that. He just told me to do it anyway.

Ugh.

So, hence this email.

If you are interested...I will send via email a bible reading plan for the week. Of course, you can read it at your own pace.

Along with that, I will try (let me repeat, try) to include a small little lesson or something to go along with the reading if applicable.

Sometimes, I wake up and go straight to the Lord, but feel unfocused. I need direction and hopefully this will keep me focused and on the path to knowing Him better and more intimately.

By the end of the year, we will have completed the Bible! How cool is that?

This challenge is mainly for yours truly. I have never read the Bible all the way through.

I need to.

If we truly want to be wiser, love more, and be armed with His protection and His favor...we MUST know Him.

How do we know Him?

We read His word.

If you want to be a part of this, please respond back to me.

Trust me, you will not hurt my feelings if your answer is a big fat NO.

It may just be me, myself and I doing this....and that's okay. :-)

Or, if you know anyone else who may be interested in joining in this, please forward this to them and have them contact me so that I can add them to the list.

If you are one of the interested ones, we will start January 1st. I will send the email out sometime that week for you to start reading.

In the meantime, I will be searching online for a one year bible reading plan.

I love you girls and am praying for all of you to be filled with God's BEST this upcoming year!

Love and more love,

Jill

I've been shellacked.....

2011-12-26T21:29:00.000-05:00

day 4 of my shellac manicure. look past the wrinkly fingers. focus on the nails, people.
or look at presley in the background sleeping.

a much prettier sight than my 36 year old fingers.

this is what time it was..7:46 pm..and she's out.

i am still trying to figure out my new camera.
please disregard my Christmas gown.
trust me, this is one of the better pieces of my night time wardrobe.
hey, at least my nails are looking good.

Last Friday, I received my first Shellac manicure. If you are not familiar with this word, "shellac"...basically, it makes your polish last for like years.

Well, not really years...that's me exaggerating.

More like a couple of weeks.

Shelley, my nail tech friend, promised me that my manicure would last at least two weeks.

I have my doubts. I told her that obviously she had never come across fingernails like mine.

My polish usually peels off by the time I get in my car to leave the shop. My cell phone rings, and I go digging for it in my purse....and BAM. Manicure ruined.

So, I put her to the test.

I paid my $25.00 and told her the bet was on.

Shockingly, I am on day four of my newly shellacked nails.

There will probably be a price to pay for this sometime down the road. Like, cancer of the nail beds. Or some kind of shellac induced disease.

Oh well, I am taking my chances. At least I will go down with well manicured nails.

It feels good to have pretty nails again. It's been like....years.....since I have had pretty nails.Not exaggerating on that one.

It's just one of the million things I have let go of since turning 30 last year.

(okay, well i didn't exactly turn 30 last year.....but you knew that already.)

First goes your nails, then your toe nails, then pretty much any and all other high maintenance activities. I mean, most days I am lucky if my underwear is on (and clean) and my teeth are brushed.

By the time I reach afternoon carpool, I try not to catch a glimpse of myself in the rear-view mirror.

Okay, don't even get me started on REAR views. Sheesh.

Hey, at least my nails are done.

shiny and shellacked,

jill