KeepUpDawg

Free Stuff: Dont' Be Afraid to Ask

2012-01-06T21:50:00.005-06:00

There is a seminary in Hyde Park that recently moved. I know folks there so I asked if they had any bookshelves. They said yes, I asked how much and they said, free. I was thrilled. The first visit, we got three new bookshelves and two lateral file cabinets. It was awesome. Now I am working on getting all my books organized into them.

A couple of days later, after their big movie, we went back because I wanted another bookshelf. By then the facilities folks were pitching stuff like crazy because they needed to be out of the building the next day. I asked if there were any office chairs available. They said, it's all fair game. Crazy!!!

Sooo, we got a few things:

office chair for my office at church

leather(?) chair for guests

another lateral file

a shop vac (it may or may not be in working order but my husband knows how to fix vacuums)

a coat tree (I hope to refinish it this summer but I might just clean it up and leave it as is)

a reading lamp, black

a torchiere lamp, white

a laminating machine and the laminating sheets*

a case of paper

book ends (metal library kind)

African cloth (I don't understand either)

a tote bag

a side table

*Okay, when the laminating machine and the case of paper was still there I got worried so I double checked and it was, in fact, fair game.

That's the thing about moves. Folks get tired of moving stuff. The person who buys all the new stuff doesn't care about the old stuff and the clean up folks and the purchasers are rarely the same people. I'm not even sure if they have a conversation! Things to remember when coordinating a move for a company or family.

Things I wanted but couldn't fit in the van or my house:

cute little wooden file cabinet

nice gray couch

another black leather chair

gorgeous heavy wooden desk that I have no space for at home

a sideboard with drawers and doors

another sideboard with doors and a space for a fridge

a fridge

another bookshelf

another office chair for the home office

I would like to suggest that business and organizations, coordinate their moves with smaller, poorer business, organizations and people so that they can benefit from this phenomenal opportunity. It would leave workers and movers with less work, it would benefit people who can't afford stuff, it would make clean up easier, etc. Now that you mention it, I could make a whole business out of coordinating the "disposal, donation and sale" of items such as these. All I need is a storage unit, a truck, and a website. I'm not sure I have time for that sort of thing, honestly, but it's wildly appealing. It would feed my desire for free stuff, my love of logistics and my dream of giving away cool stuff to people in need and selling stuff to people who need a deal. That would be so cool! I could become a job creator because goodness knows, I don't have time to do something like this full time. Ooh, ooh, ooh, gonna have to pray on it!

Now about my free stuff, I'm still organizing but after I get it all together, I think my office and my house are going to be very cute and well organized.

The next time you see someone moving, and you are in the market for a few items, just ask if they have them? You might get a deal or even some FREE STUFF!

Juicing, Day 1

2012-01-06T20:44:00.005-06:00

Sooo, I watched a movie called Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and loved it. In it a very unhealthy, overweight man with an auto-immune disease decided to start juicing to detox, lose weight and get healthy. He went on a 60 day juice fast and traveled the U.S.A. sharing his story and his juice. He got super healthy, helped some other folks get healthy and now he has a website and endorsements. As I was watching it, it dawned on me that I had a juicer that I wasn't using. I purchased it last fall for $5 and it was sitting in my office doing nothing. At that point, I decided that I was going to juice.

Now it took me a few days the get going. I brought it home on Wednesday, after staff meeting, I went to the health food store (organic) and a produce mart tonight and I made my first juices. So cool!

First, I made the Mean Green Juice recipe from the movie. Here is the recipe:

6 Kale leaves

1 Cucumber

4 Celery stalks

2 Green apples

1/2 Lemon

1 piece of Ginger

I peeled the lemon before I juiced it, as instructed, and I totally forgot the cucumber. It was good. Neither my spouse or the Captain liked it and I didn't offer any to Sir. I will make this again tomorrow. Next, I offered to make a apple kiwi juice for Lewis. He accepted and the Captain suggested we include lemon and lime. So this is what we juiced:

2 apples (whatever was in the house)

1/2 lemon (organic from Sunrise Foods))

1 lime (Pete's Produce)

2 kiwi (also from Pete's)

We did that and the Captain loved it but Daddy thought it was a bit tart. So I tried it again with two apples and two kiwis. I couldn't taste the kiwi at all but the apple juice did not taste like store bought apple juice. It tasted just like apples. I thought that was really cool! I prefer that the store bought apple juice. Now the question is, how many kiwi do we need to juice to balance the apple flavor? I will try it again this weekend and let you know.

I'm really excited. I am not planning to go on a full juice fast but I am hoping that I can use juicing to fill me up so I don't eat as much junk and processed foods. I need to get drink container that seals so that I can make and take juice with me on my travels. I hope to chronicle what I am doing here to keep track of the recipes I use and the ones I create myself.

I look forward to doing this daily. Also wondering what to do with all the by product that I clean out of the juicer afterward. I wonder if it can be used for something? I'm looking that up now.

If you want more info on juicing, there is stuff all over the internet. I used myjuicecleanse.com, shout outs to them for having the Mean Green recipe and three other variations.

Walking Baby

2011-08-10T04:54:00.005-05:00

On Sunday, Sir Lancelot walked from one couch to the other. It was so cool. He's doing more and more of that lately. It's no wonder, he's almost 1 year old. I texted my parents, my friends, my aunts and my cousins when he did that. Most of them responded. Most notably, my Dad who was taking a break from communication with me. That made me happy that he responded. And my girl, Candy, who said something to the effect of Sir Lancelot turning into a walking Texas ranger. Lord, I love my girlfriends. They tickle me so. I am so looking forward to his 1st birthday party (backyard BBQ) and baby dedication and reception at church. It's going to be a great Labor Day weekend. Go, Lance, go. Grow, Lance, grow!

I love my life.

Skincare Regimen: Day 1-2

2011-08-10T04:28:00.006-05:00

So, I'm 40 and I really should have a skin care regimen. Not that I've never had one before but I'm rarely consistent. Rarely. But I wanted to try again. I figure if I'm going to live to be 102, I should take care of my skin. Because at 102, you don't want to look a day over 90 and 85 would be even better.

I decided to try the skin product I saw in my friend, AJ's bathroom last time I visited. She had a Neutrogena Naturals bottle on her vanity. I eyed it and decided to go buy some. So a few weeks ago, I bought the pore purifying scrub and fresh cleaning + makeup remover. I also purchased the Neutrogena pore refining toner because I get oily sometimes and my pores tend to show it. I'm also using the Aveeno Postitively Radiant Daily Moisturizer with spf 15.

Day 1: I tried the pore purifying scrub, the pore refining toner and the PRD moisturizer.

Day 2: This morning, I tried the cleanser, the toner and the PRD.

My goal is to wash cleanse and moisturize morning and night. More, if I feel oily and sweaty. I hope I can keep it up for 30 to 90 days and make it a habit. If I'm not satisfied, I'll add some anti-aging or a salicylic. I figure it will either be age or oil that will be the focus, if anything.

It's interesting that I wasn't doing much with my skin. I kind of let a lot of things go when I got married and started having children and became more budgeted. I think I got frustrated with a lot of things (time, money, organization, school, etc) and kind of stopped. i also took my skin and fitness for granted because neither have been a serious issue, up until recently(weight). I have noticed lately that I had kind of put my life on hold. I seemed to be waiting for things to get better before I did what I loved. I gave up a lot of loves for several years but now I'm trying to take better care. To be more mindful and a little less seat of my pants. I'm trying to be a grown-up, on one hand. And on the other, I'm trying to do what I enjoy. More organization, more self-care, more intentionality and more mindfulness.

So, I guess it's about way more than skincare. I'm kind of happy that I'm doing this. I'm also happy to be writing on this blog after so long.

Link Card Debacle

2011-04-14T01:34:00.004-05:00

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/13/photo-ids-on-link-cards-f_n_848748.html?ref=fb&src=sp

So politicians in Illinois (read Republicans) are concerned about people misusing the Link Card system. They are concerned that people are trading their food card usage for money that they will, in turn, use for drugs. I believe this is a real issue but I do not think an photo will help.

A quote from HuffPost:

Aside from skepticism about the reasons behind the bill, the very notion of photo IDs on LINK cards is complicated. Food stamps are assigned to families, not individuals, and a photo ID would inhibit the ability of children or spouses to do the grocery shopping for the household. Plus, food stamps are a federal program, so the US Department of Agriculture would need to create a special exemption for Illinois to allow the state to make such a mandate, DHS spokeswoman Marielle Sainvilus explained to Illinois Statehouse News.

So I'm wondering...Since these cards are assigned to families. How many photos on the card?! Huh? Can we pick the photos? Can we put the baby on it too? How often can we change the picture? Kids grow up, ya know.

Another quote:

Representative Chapin Rose, a Republican from the suburbs of downstate Champaign, was the sponsor of the bill, HB 161. The legislation was originally a mandate that all LINK cards, the state-issued debit cards on which food stamp benefits are disbursed, have a photo ID of their owner.

After much amendment, it is now simply a measure requiring the Department of Human Services to consider the cost of such a mandate. But it still encountered uproar from Democratic legislators.

So are we are going to spend money on a cost analysis that could be done in two phone calls. I know the answer. The bulk production of cards is cheaper than individually personalized cards so we are looking at multiplying the cost 3 to 5 times what it normally is. Why do I know this? I asked my husband who worked in card production two years ago.

Another quote from HuffPost:

For his part, Rose claimed that the bill would save the state $750 million in fraudulent use of food stamp funds, though he provided few facts to back that claim. And he cited oft-quoted arguments about abuse of food stamps: “I don’t see what the efficacy is in handing someone the ability on a weekly basis to trade a card easily for drugs, for cash to buy drugs,” he said on the floor.

The persons sponsoring this bill obviously have no grasp on how this is actually done. Do we really think the images of a family of 4 are going to stop a "hype" (see www.urbandictionary.com , definition #5) from trading Link for cash? The answer is no. Which then causes me to wonder.. Is the strategy to spend the baby's food money on a cost analysis instead?

There is another option, spend the money for this discussion and analysis on education for children and parents, drug rehab for those who need it, more teachers, healthier school lunches, after school programs and decent grocery stores in food deserts. Heck, life skills training for parents and kids. We could do some much more and so much better than we are doing now and it wouldn't look like anyone was picking on poor people.

Stop Stressing out our Kids!

2011-04-14T00:45:00.005-05:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110413/ts_yblog_thelookout/hot-pink-toenailed-boy-in-j-crew-ad-sparks-controversy

Apparently, folks went crazy nuts because Jenna, J. Crew's creative director, painted her son's toe nails pink because it's his favorite color. There is drama about the "gay agenda" and all manner of crazy talk as a result. This pisses me off. Everything is not the gay agenda, the kid is not cross dressing and he's not going to be scarred for life because of a little pink enamel. She says in the ad, "Lucky for me I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink. Toenail painting is way more fun in neon." And people lost their minds!!

I posted on Facebook, the following:

"People should shut up. Repeatedly. I'm exhausted by foolishness. My son's fav colors are pink and purple. What am I gonna tell him they CAN'T be his fav colors? Everything is not the gay agenda. STOP STRESSING OUT CHILDREN!"

Children choose colors because they are bright, pretty fun or whatever. I have really had to work with this since I've become a parent. My boy likes stuff because he likes it. He's only five and I'm not going to stress him out or berate him. THAT might send him to therapy way before his color choices will. When he tells kids at school about his favorite colors, they say, "Eww." Probably, because they've already been told those colors are unacceptable for boys. Stuff seems pretty cut and dry with the kids at schools sometimes. They'll find out later that it's not that simple.

In my circle of friends, we believe that we have some pretty good "gay-dar" and we actually think my son is straight but that is not really the point. If he were gay, I think I'd know by now, AND I do not think that avoiding pink nail polish would "ungay" him? I really, really don't.

Of all the things that people could point to for the "gay agenda," this was a dumb choice. Gay people will tell you what their agenda is. Use the internet and you'll find out all kinds of stuff like, no agenda, some agenda, more than one agenda, and the agenda is not about you, either. And I don't think they are using Jenna. Chill out! Of course, there are people who believe that everything should be lined up by gender. No trucks for girls but all the pink and skirts they can stand to wear. And no nail polish for boys but plenty of camo, cars and plastic weapons, and on and on but I don't think it's really that serious.

Now to be totally honest, I have never painted my sons finger nails or toe nails. And I have informed him already that some people will not understand his love for pink and purple. So, I'm guessing that I'm not as liberal as Ms Jenna but I'm not hating on her either. I tell him that so he won't be surprised by the judgement and because I hope that he will be resilient in the face of their silliness. I also want him to be proud of who he is waaay before I was.

I know I cannot guarantee that my son will have fantastic self-esteem but I can at least avoid crushing his happy and creative spirit. I can love him, I can teach him right and wrong and I can encourage his gifts. But none of that puts the usage or non-usage of nail polish on my list of major tenets of child rearing.

Poor Ms, Jenna, I'm sure people will be watching and waiting to see if that cute little boy "turns out" to be straight or gay. I'm sure if Jenna had thought about the crazies, she may have hidden his identity. I'm concerned that fools might be watching to see if they will be right. And I have a problem with that because watching other people's kids like that is just creepy.

Stop stressing out our kids. Please.

Migraine Relief as suggested by my friend Brian

2011-04-13T22:37:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the delay (just got home). From the article: Try rubbing peppermint or lavender oil on your temples and the base of your neck; sniffing these oils may also help.

Rub a fresh cut lemon or lime on your forehead. Feverfew is a good herbal remedy for headaches.

Have a little caffeine by way of green tea, and don’t forget to use an ice pack for 20 minutes to dull the throbbing.

Original link: http://shine.yahoo.com/event/green/natural-remedies-for-the-15-most-common-aches-pains-and-health-complaints-2451193/

Ginger Pea Soup

2011-04-12T11:19:00.000-05:00

Ginger Pea Soup

This looks good. I have most of the ingredients, just need some fresh basil.

Brew-lanthropy award recipient: Blackstone Bicycle Works

2011-04-03T01:08:00.000-05:00

My friend Aaron is the man with the locs in this video. I'm so proud of him.

03/24/2011 Update on Fitness Goals from 11.22.2010 & some other personal goals

2011-03-24T02:28:00.005-05:00

03/24/2011 Update!!!

Operation Sexy Mama 11/22/2010: Fitness Goals

Fitness Goals for Now and into 2011 (God willing!)

Get my new prosthesis before the new year. - Got it, love it, working on getting strong and coordinated so I can do some things.

Start weight training consistently. - started working out with handweights just last week. My friend Toya is buying a pair of MMA weight gloves, I'm very excited.

Start exercise consistently. Get off the couch and get active. - It has begun!!! I am so proud of myself. I do Zumba, I go dancing, I go walking with the boys, I went on the swings with Lo...IT'S HAPPENING!

Dance more! - dance at home, dance with kids, dance at church and go out dancing. Also happening, I went out dancing with Corina twice, I do Zumba with Toya, I dance whenever I can pry myself up. More to come.

Weight 135 by March 2011 - evaluate and decide if I want to go for 125. Okay, this changed. We are looking at a goal of 140 by May 1 or June 1 at the latest. I want to be strong too though. So I will evaluate more heavily on look and clothing fit then I will weight. I want to wear a bikini and show my belly without shame.

Walk a 10K by next summer. Keeping this goal. This will happen. 2012 better get ready.

Make walks part of my weekly routine and build endurance.

I cannot tell you how happy I am that I am walking. Lo, Lance and I have been on the track and in the neighborhood walking. Lo loves it and Lance gets a good nap. We are getting it in!!! I feel great! There is a parents walking group at the school so I think I am going to join it and walk with them on Mondays and Thursdays, IF I can get my behind out of bed and get the boy to school by 08:30. I'm so excited!!!

Do fitness and charity walks throughout the Fall of 2011. Keeping this one.
Learn how to run again in 2011, since I became and amputee at age 17, I have never really done it consistently. Not as vested in this one as I once was but it would be good to have a burst of speed in case of emergencies. It would also be great to have a burst of prayer and some MMA, in case of emergencies but that is probably another blog post.

Run a 5K before winter 2011? Sounds painful but I'd like to try. Again, maybe not running but I'll get this done.
125-135, muscular and athletic by October 27, 2011. Yes, this will happen. New goal is 140 with prosthesis which will put me at 132 or so without it. But again, fitness, strength, clothing fit, athleticism and muscle tone (rippednesssss!!!) are more important to me.

Maintain this weight into 2012 Yes. Maintain the weight and muscle tone so I will be ready to have another baby, adopt, do more fitness goals and have an awesome life with my boys and my man. Ministry as a fit girl could get wild and fun. I hope they're ready, whoever they are. I hope I'm ready! I'm sure I'm not but I'll get there.

Other goals:

I am beginning the process of launching my crochet biz. Building my facebook page for deiejdesigns and picking a design for my business cards and other items for craft fairs and online sales this summer.
I am working on organizing, goal setting and changing my mindset.
I've found a place that nurtures me and will support me spiritually while I'm in school.
I have begun a to do list.
I have a plan for combatting anxiety over difficult work.
I have friends who are giving me wise counsel and sharing their expertise.
I am blogging!!! I'm blogging! Do you see this. That is huge for me.

So basically, a lot is going on and I'm going to keep working and growing and devoting my life to God and my family and living as happily and healthfully as I can.

Thank you, Lord for the chance to do this. Please provide for us and lead us and if we get off track, steer us back on course. We love you!!! Amen.

Had to pray. Super happy. Super Tired. Some things are bittersweet right now but I'm also super thankful.

Sight Words for April

2011-03-24T02:15:00.003-05:00

in as can had

a that up did

said go has am

is you be and

it no was yes

like come look to

me of at jump

big he the they

she for my must

I on see what

saw here

Wednesday 03/23/2011

2011-03-24T02:10:00.001-05:00

Oh, yeah, OSM exercise report. On Wednesday, we watched Zumba, yeah, we watched it. But after that, we walked to parent/teacher conferences and took the longer way home. I broke a tiny sweat. I felt good about it. Not bad for being sick. If only I could keep track of my pedometer.

Lawrence got a great report. Suggestions for him/us were to practice his handwriting, read harder books, have him figure out how to spell by sounding out the words and don't have a cow or over criticize if the sounded out spelling is not perfect, it's part of the process.

I think I can do that! We also got new sight words so now he has 42! I know he will totally ace this next test in April.

I'm so proud of my boy.

31 Day Reset: Day 1

2010-12-06T03:42:00.004-06:00

Decided to do the 31 Day Reset from HappyBlackWoman.com after my girl, lashon, told me about it. Her description sounded great so I looked into it and here goes!

1. 31 day journal - half check. I have this blog but I also want to journal in a notebook. Currently, I believe I'm out of notebooks in the crib. So, tomorrow, I'll get one. In the meantime, the blog will be fine.

2. Mantra - "I am NOT my circumstances. I am becoming my true self, moving beyond fear, to embrace the unknown with confidence knowing that, with God's help, 'I got this!'." - paraphrase from Your Circumstances DO NOT define you!! by Kipp Mastin on The Daily Love

I am very excited about this!

Operation Sexy Mama 11/22/2010: Fitness Goals

2010-11-22T02:10:00.003-06:00

Fitness Goals for Now and into 2011 (God willing!)

Get my new prosthesis before the new year.
Start weight training consistently.
Start exercise consistently. Get off the couch and get active.
Dance more! - dance at home, dance with kids, dance at church and go out dancing.
Weight 135 by March 2011 - evaluate and decide if I want to go for 125.
Walk a 10K by next summer.
Make walks part of my weekly routine and build endurance.
Do fitness and charity walks throughout the Fall of 2011.
Learn how to run again in 2011, since I became and amputee at age 17, I have never really done it consistently.
Run a 5K before winter 2011? Sounds painful but I'd like to try.
125-135, muscular and athletic by October 27, 2011.
Maintain this weight into 2012

Operation Sexy Mama 11/19/2010: My Trainer? - Part 3

2010-11-19T17:23:00.003-06:00

She's awesome. I figured I'd better tell her a little more about what I can do and tell her about my inconsistent eating. Also wanted to share my current resources with her.

"Oh, cool. I emailed your mom last night. I must tell you that I am beyond thrilled that you would help me get in shape. Big blessing, you are (yoda voice).

This sounds good. Forgot to mention that I can do yoga & pilates on one leg. I'm guessing old school calisthenics would be okay too, right? Sit ups, push ups (hate them both), pull ups and the like? Will that help if I actually get my butt off the couch? I WANT MY ABS BACK!!! I am a bit of an acrobat since I've been this way for 23 years which means I can dance on crutches. But that could be too much on the knee so I'll save aerobics for when I get my new C-Leg.

I suck at eating so I better do make ahead food so it's easy. I will have to force myself to eat when I'm busy. Sad to put eating in my phone calendar to remind me but I will. That six meal thing sounds like a good challenge. I will start with part 1 and work my way up to part 2. I know that will be great if I get the hang of it. It will be an improvement because sometimes I eat nothing and you can't make milk out of air. I am supposed to be breastfeeding but I have supplement from formula for now. And of course by the time I'm starving, I eat crappy fast stuff and I have a headache. I will be a sooo much better off. My goal is to "do some kind of exercise" daily (suggestions?) and I have all of netflix at my disposal for that. Sadly, I have not managed yet. Ugh. Waaaah! In terms of counting calories, I can log my eating on the My Diet app on Facebook. It worked for my husband and I before. In fact, he was better at it then I was (Deirdre = Hater)!

Water, water, water. I'm almost finished with my 2nd liter. Gosh that was long. Next time we should inbox. Thanks sooo murch! Yes, murch."

Operation Sexy Mama 11/19/2010: My Trainer? - Part 2

2010-11-19T17:14:00.003-06:00

She wrote me back with suggestions:

"aww. LOL, you crack me up with the way you describe things! i understand though. speaking of my mom! she wants you to email her at [email] she can send you grandma T's journal, pdf file. haha, well based on your challenges, i think it'll be alright to just start with your diet, and then we can go from there! now i know it's hard to limit yourself from the things you lvoe but since exercise is kind of out of the question right now, what you eat is going to be a factor, so i suggest one of 2 things, or both.

1) eat less carbs. carbs are what really pack on the pounds..yes, you need them, energy wise,..but for someone not as active, you dont have to have as many. carbs being pastas, breads..basically the things you probably love..cake, cookies, candy...etc. bad carbs. so eating more vegetables, fruits, protein...chicken, cottage cheese, tuna, stuff like that..i really wouldnt limit your self to like grilled meats only..i mean you dont wanna deprive yourself..give yourself one day out of the week to eat "bad"..within reason.

2), instead of eating 3 meals a day..if you limit yourself to maybe 6 small meals..so you're like snacking on a daily basis..that's also an option. small portions every few hours keeps your metabolism going. and youre less hungry.. now you can combine the 2, eat smaller meals plus eat less carbs, or you can do them separately..either way, you'll definitely notice a difference in your weight immediately, just because it is gonna be a shock to your body. as far as drinking is concerned..water is your best bet. juices and what not all contain carbs, and etc..i personally drink water and diet stuff..but i mean it's all about your preference and how hard you wanna go at this. calorie intake wise is another thing but...i don't wanna overwhelm you with stuff hahahah...so pretty much, let me know what you think, any questions, i can answer...or elaborate more on..i'm sure we can get a plan going for you, i'm honorrrred to help you."

Operation Sexy Mama 11/19/2010: My Trainer? - Part 1

2010-11-19T13:16:00.006-06:00

A Personal Trainer?

My cousin wants to help me! She's a super fit athlete. Yey!

" aww, did she? i'm sure it was humble, she's definitely not one to brag, haha. what'd she say? and how are you? it's legit been years since i've talked to you, i believe. also, i see you're on a diet? let me know if you need any help-- weightroom/physical training = my area of specialty!"

My Response:

It was super humble. She is so proud of you! She mentioned your field work during the November elections. We were all like, "Ooooo." You know US like it when fam is on TV and it's not a police action. Oh, my Godsend, Lae! YES, I would like some help! I just had a baby ~3 months ago and I turned 40 last month. I need a plan for maintaining my sexy and getting my superhero body(NOT KIDDING). I will be a challenge because

a) I am an amputee so I need to protect the remaining precious knee,

b) I am on crutches until I get the [new] prosthesis leg (hooray pregnancy for jacking up my groove) and

c) I am lazy, inconsistent and I get bored easy. Got any suggestions?

Operation Sexy Mama 11/18/2010

2010-11-19T04:39:00.001-06:00

Operation Sexy Mama: I bet I'd drop that final 20 if I'd exercise. Sooo, not motivated. Thank God for the blessing of being an optical illusion . We are nearing month 3 & I am giving myself 18 months to get to the goal. Milk production + holidays = no dieting. Just trying to be healthy & strong. Gotta get back to the gym. Oh, the goal is to be under 140, look athletic & be ready to chase a toddler & do the occasional 5K.

Operation Complete, Day 1: Reading Theology

2010-11-01T10:02:00.003-05:00

Last night, my mentor suggested that I go to the office each day and do something every morning until I get the work done. It sounded smart. Lew is working, the Captain is at school and Lance is usually sleep. No excuses really. Just fear of the mountain of work. But one day at a time sounds doable. So I agreed.

Today, I brought "The Responsibility of the Church for Society" by H. Richard Niebuhr, "Liberation and Reconciliation" by J. Deotis Roberts and "Pragmatic Spirituality" by Gayraud S. Wilmore today. I'm going to read and take notes and think. I brought more than one in case I get bored.

For support and encouragement. I sent a text to the Director of Ministry and I'm about to send a text to my mentor. I posted my books on Facebook. I'm beginning today. Very exciting and scary but I'll get it done.

Gonna post my ideas and thoughts here as I go along. It's nice to sit and work and occasionally look down at a cute little sleeping baby. Yey. Life is good. Here I go!

Hit 'em Up Style - Kid's Parties and other Gift Giving Occasions

2010-08-16T21:39:00.006-05:00

In the season of backyard bbqs, big birthday parties, grad parties, trunk parties and other festivities, it's important to be mindful of the things we do for gifts, status and approval.

My cousin was just fussing on Facebook about how folks are sending her all these invites to stuff for their kids when she has no real relationship with them or the kid. Goodness, I see her point.

Here are the thoughts that I posted on her page:

Yeah, good point. There are people who are your close friends & family who LOVE you & your kids and will walk out in traffic for them/you, there are the people who "expect/really want" an invite and then there are folks that you are just hitting up. It's not good just to hit folks up. Especially, if there is no relationship - real, implied, desired or otherwise. Once a year love is not enough. Important to keep in mind. A rule of thumb might be, "If they showed up without a gift and you'd be glad to see them anyway, invite them. If they showed up without a gift and you'd be mad, you might want to rethink your guest list."

She liked my comment. Her fuss made me examine myself and think more carefully about how I roll. There are only a few categories of people who are invited to parties - close family, friends, affinity/activity friends, 'obligatories' and 'hit 'em ups.' Details as follows:

A) The are people who are your close friends and family - These are the folks who love you/your child and would walk out into traffic for them. These are people you see or talk to weekly, monthly, quarterly and for whom you would spend gas money or airfare to go "see about."

B) The people who "expect/really want" an invitation - Your affinity/activity and obligatories go here BUT use discretion on this, just because THEY expect or really want an invite, doesn't mean you have to send one. Just know who you are dealing with and how you will deal with them should they find out that you had a party and you didn't invite them.

Examples: Your nice neighbor, the old ladies at church who like invitations and send a card but might not attend due to a hip or something, your great aunt Jean who made your child's layette by hand, that fringe girlfriend who adores you but has a conflicting schedule and never quite makes it to your events, your book club mate who has kids your child's age, people who pay attention and say, "Where are you registered? When is the party? What's his favorite...? Let me know how I can help. Here's my info, let me know."

Again, you don't have to invite these people but if you've been meaning to get together, take a moment to decide if this is the right event. You could invite them OR you could contact them to schedule a lunch for the following week.

C) Another would be, if your child specifically asks you to invite them because they have a genuine relationship with the person. - Their friends, teachers, parents of school friends, daycare lady who has loved him his whole life and still keeps in touch. I think you get the point.

D) They invited you to their kid's thing - Your call. Did you hit it off? Did the kids enjoy it. Use wisdom and don't feel bad if the answer is no. You can just send a card.

Finally, a rule of thumb that I fleshed out from my cousin's Facebook page. Ask yourself these questions:

"If the person showed up at my house without a gift, would I still be glad to see them and feed them?" If so, invite them.

"If the person showed up at my house without a gift, would I be mad that they were eating my food & sucking up my AC?" If you'd be mad, take a second look at your guest list and do some pruning.

You really don't need to "hit folks up." If there is no REAL relationship (whether real, virtual, implied, desired or otherwise), please don't put them in a situation where they have to spend money on your kid or you, for that matter. There are enough people in your life who genuinely love/like you and whose company you enjoy. And in terms of gifts, God provides. Look at these parties as occasions to really hang with folks who mean a lot to you.

I hardly ever post, so I hope this will be useful or fun to read.

Hypnobirthing - 08/08/2010: Encouragement

2010-08-10T14:27:00.002-05:00

Sunday, August 8th, I was very excited abou my 1st Hypnobirthing class. I posted this on Facebook:

... very excited about her 1st Hynobirthing class. Also, really excited about the party her sisters are throwing at the crib. Happy Sunday!

And got this:

Robin Ross, Lee Gibson and 2 others like this.
- Bev Uhlenhake Enjoy! We did hypnobirthing class with our first, and it was really good. I popped out a 10.5 pounder in 10 minutes with no meds, so I guess something sunk in. :)
  Sunday at 12:59pm · ·
- Kimberly Butters Dennis We did hypnobirthing for our second child and it was great! I felt much more in control, no meds, and my body did its thing all on its own. Didn't even have to bear down. My only words of caution are to make sure your doctor/midwife is on board. Our doctor said he was and then was a complete booger the day of delivery. Enjoy the classes too. Sooooooooo relaxing! Take care!
  Sunday at 2:50pm · ·
- Lillian M. Hemphill for those of us non-birthers out her ...what is hypnobirthing?
  Sunday at 4:38pm · ·
- Vania Alvarez I felt no pain until the nurse said that they were sorry it was taking so long for the pain EPI - until that point I thought I was on the meds, a second after she said that, the pain rushed through me. After they gave me the epi she popped out.
  Sunday at 11:03pm · ·
- Robin Dixon Roberts See Deie, It works! You already know my experiences - completely AWESOME!
  Yesterday at 8:09am · ·
- Robin Ross Deie, these are the comments and people you need to surround yourself with- all positive stories. I love it!!!
  Yesterday at 8:19am · ·
- Deirdre Jackson Jones
  Yes, Robin Ross, ONLY positive stories from now until end of 4th Trimester! Anyone else will be escorted from the space.
  
  Ladies, I really appreciate your encouragement & great stories!
  Lil, Hypnobirthing is a great birthing method that helps...See More
  Yesterday at 12:54pm · ·
- Lillian M. Hemphill I was there for Renaldo's birth. I was 9......I say skip the whole thing and settle for a dog :).
  
  Not everyone is able....I know I ain't.
  16 hours ago · ·

10 Things I Want to Say to a Black Woman

2010-08-10T14:18:00.003-05:00

Beautiful poetry.

Click on the word "beautiful" so you can begin to understand how fantastic you are.

Working on a Birth Plan: Orgasmic Birth and Other Awesome Stuff

2010-07-12T23:43:00.003-05:00

A few weeks (months?) ago, I talked to my doctor about my previous birth experience and she told me to write a birth plan. I was kind of waiting to do it until I figured out what I wanted. I've been doing lots of research and I've been looking for doula. As I began looking for a doula, I was also looking for an alternate birthing method. I did not take to Lamaze, I was referred to a doula who taught Birth from Within (August is her vacation time), my girlfriend did Hypnobirthing (the nearest "Hypno" lady is booked til Sept) and so I was still looking.

THEN, I found Orgasmic Birth. Now, please note that the Orgasmic Birth documentary was already on my Netflix.com queue but I hadn't really gotten to that one yet. I read some stuff on Amazon.com and I was intrigued. After I saw the video, I was sold. I think I've watched it, at least, 4 times and I've now shown everything but the extras to Lewis. He's totally down with this.

So now I'm doing further research and writing my birth plan. It feels so good!!! I'm so happy because I'm researching like crazy and I'm writing down what I want. I have draft that I am taking with me on my next appointment. During this appointment, I will see one of my OB's partners. I think this is great because I can begin to gather what I hope is a sampling of the philosophies of the different OBs in her group.

I am going to be praying. Worst(best?) case scenario is that they tell me the truth, it doesn't work for me and I bid them adieu. Best case scenario, they are totally down for it, I find my doula and we sail into L&D when contractions are 5 minutes apart and they let me do my thing.

Additionally, once I get this doula/midwife thing handled (nope, still don't have one), then I will ask them to assess me and my home for a home birth. That would be my dream!!! Don't even start with me (you know who you are), don't post a comment, don't trip...just be silent and pray if you don't agree or the idea of me doing a home birth scares the crap out of you. Just don't say a word because I need prayer and positive energy to get through this birth and not flash back to the drama of the last one. Okay? Don't post, just pray. Thank you. I love you. I feel better that I've said it somewhere.

Okay, so the birth I have in mind goes like this:

2nd babies are usually faster but I am mentally preparing for 36 hours, just in case.
Bag packed. Laptop loaded with songs.
Speakers in bags.
Battery operated fake candles packed.
Lolo at Grandmommy's house.
My friends have made food for me and frozen it.
All early labor up to 5 minute contractions done at home.
AJ/Dominique/Mendy doing Yoga with me during early labor.
I eat food and drink beverages.
I do some labor in the tub/shower.
Lew and doula give me massages.
I am free to walk and use exercise ball to get comfortable during contractions.
I may even dance.
I get lots hugs and kisses from Lew and my friends.
Doula monitors my and baby's vitals.
I head to the hospital at the 5 minutes apart stage.
I send mom to the hotel to wait for my call.
I bring all my stuff and we set up shop in an L&D room.
NO intervention without serious discussion, statistical data, evidence based information about me (not most people) and a 2nd opinion. Yeah, I really want this VBAC.
I have a few very positive friends stop by.
Doula meets me at the hospital.
The docs and nurses basically leave me the heck alone with minimum fetal monitoring and a Hep Lock.
Labor advances at our pace.
I am allowed to change positions during labor for comfort, relaxation and pain management.
No drugs.
No episiotomy. There are natural ways to protect the perineum.
Baby is born and I get him right away, skin-to-skin, so I can increase the oxytocin for both of us and get the breast milk flowin'.
Testing and baby care, in room.
Private room for our stay.
Lactation specialist consultation.
Get out of there as soon as it's healthy and possible.
Hide out for several weeks.

This is what I have so far. I am aware that things don't always happen like we want. Tis is what I'd like to see happen. I am flexible if I get real evidence and real talk from the doctors. I am not wiling to lose either of us in childbirth for my convictions. We are both going home, God willing, whether this Birth Plan pans out or not. I believe I will feel better, no matter what, knowing that I have spoken up, done the research and had a doula who is on her game advocating with me.

So, that is what I have so far. I am praying for strength, voice, wisdom, guidance and the right doula. I feel really good that I have already begun to prepare. I am so thankful that God has given me another opportunity and I want to do my best to make this start off as well as I possibly can.

That's all for now. I'm going to send a copy of the actual draft, not exactly like the bullet points, to my husband, my Angie (7 births) and a few of my other peeps for suggestions.

I am building my circle to make this birth something beautiful. May God do what I cannot through me, Lew, the doula, the doctors and my friends.

Amen.

Nothing is Quite Perfect

2010-02-10T02:49:00.008-06:00

Today, I saw baby Jones move! Wow. The heartbeat, once again, is 158bpm. Yey! Thank you, God. Here's how it went:

She come in and talks to me. She asks me about Sunday (see Surviving 12th Week). She says she wants to have a "look." She tells me they found three small fibroids during my last exam (Boo, WTH! Not feeling that). She informs me that they may grow as the pregnancy progresses. (Sounds like some garbage. Those fibroids need to stay on their end.) While doing a "look see," she tells me that my pelvic exam came back questionable. (Boooo! WTF!) She wants to do a colposcopy next time. She had to remind me what that was. It's the scope to look up close at my cervix (Booo, again!) This doesn't register very well. I'm really tired, I'd been nappying before she came in the room and I've got a speculum in my business! I have her repeat the info and ask a few questions (not enough questions, I'll likely be calling her tomorrow).

We move on to the baby. OB pulls out the heart monitor thing that looks like a kid's microphone and starts looking for the heartbeat. Nope, nope, nope. I got a tinge nervous when she couldn't find the heartbeat with that stupid thing. I'm sure she could tell. Then she brought in the portable ultrasound and we were in business! I saw the baby move(!!!), I saw the heart fluttering, I saw the 158bpm read on the screen. Nice, steady, little heart. Good job, baby! Funny thing, after finding the baby, she went back to the stupid "kid's microphone" contraption and found the heartbeat again. So, so nice to hear this baby's heartbeat. Seeing the heartbeat is nice but hearing it is gorgeous. It's like, "say hello to my little friend" but in a good way. LOL! I have now seen my baby wave a hand, I think, and have heard her heart(no, I don't know the gender). Almost perfect!

Of course, I was a bit shaken by the fibroids and the abnormal pap (BOOOO!). In fact I was upset! I finally cried in my car with my head on my steering wheel after I parked behind DDH. That helped. I was angry and frustrated and tired of cervical drama (1999, 2008 and now this?). I was just outdone. I talked to a friend who has had baby losses. That helped. I left DDH and drove around campus. I talked to another friend who has had many threats upon her cervix and uterus. She also helped. I parked and cried in my car some more while she and I talked. I talked to my husband. I called my girlfriend back. We laughed and talked more. I also talked to my big/little sister/mentor. That helped too.

The talks all went well. Besides swearing and crying, there were good words/phrases like:

Hope. Nothing is ever perfect. We'll get through this. It will turn out fine no matter what. We don't have to wait for things to be perfect to live a good life. I still believe. In the midst of the worst things I can imagine, I still believe. I can't help it. I just do. I believe that I am loved by God. I have to keep going. We cannot judge our success by what we do not yet have. We are still alive. There is more good to come. We are not failures. Even if it's not better right away, even if something goes wrong before it get's better, I can still get there. I'm not dead yet, so I have not used up all my chances. I am living the life I am supposed to live and it's not over yet. This is a process.

It's a lot of hodgepodge with no true background story but I trust that you will get from it what you need to get. I know all of us can become disheartened by our not quite perfect lives. - Good spouse, no money. Great money, no spouse. Awesome baby, personal issues. Great opportunities but paralyzed by fear and struggling to seize them. Supportive friends & family, crippling self-esteem. - It's never going to be quite perfect. We can't always wait until we feel better to get on with life. We have to start and trust that the healing (or whatever you are needing) will happen on the way. You will never be perfect (life will NEVER be perfect) but on your best day, you are like Lucky Charms leaving joy and prizes in your wake. On your best day, you have a halo of sunlight about 5 feet in diameter and you warm everyone you meet. On one apostle's best day, he healed people with his shadow! It is important to note, that on your worst day, you may forget the miracles and this, my friend, is why we have community and scripture and the Spirit to remind us. Nothing is ever quite perfect but perfection is not a criteria for miracles!

We still have our whole lives to live and to love and to do God's work. So, we forge ahead. You with me?

12th Week - The Size of a Lime

2010-02-08T23:35:00.004-06:00

From babycenter.com

How your baby's growing:

The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.

Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.

Read the full article