kelleidoscope

So Far In San Diego

2012-02-14T23:40:00.000-08:00

I have..

Eaten lots of good food. (SO nice to not be limited to McDonald's and Applebees!)

Applied to a billion jobs.

Gone to Padre's Fan Fest

Gone to WWE Monday Night Raw (amazing!)

Gone to my favorite beach

Spent an hour driving what should have taken 15 minutes because of an accident on the other side of the freeway. Real smart.

Gotten new tires, windshield wipers, and battery for my car. Almost cried because of the cost.

Then boyfriend filled my tank up and took me to a Valentine's dinner at P.F. Changs and I was all better.

And that's about it. I have been here for 8 days and it's just like being back home. Everything is so familiar from when I last lived here. It's glorious.

Oh and I have lots of pictures, but no desire to resize and upload them. Another thing moving has done for me is get my sleep schedule back on track. 11 p.m. and I'm ready to pass out!

Reunited and It Feels So Good

2012-02-07T21:56:00.000-08:00

With my wiener dog, Daisy, that is.

I'll get to see boyfriend tomorrow. It's been just over a month since I saw him last and I am pretty much ecstatic to be living in the same city again. I mean, I've seen him twice since September of last year. TWICE, you hear? That is rough. Actually, that makes me want to cry.

But I'm all proud of him and what he's doing, so that makes it a little easier. But only a little easier.

Anyway, I never explained why I'm moving.

Boyfriend is stationed in San Diego. On Coronado to be exact. I have family in San Diego (and I lived there for 10 years) so I am lucky, and have the opportunity to move down there as well. So I am. Because I'm kind of really in love with boyfriend and my favorite thing to do is spend time with him.

I'm super excited for this new adventure. I'm going to be living in my favorite city on this planet, close to my favorite person on this planet. Many fun adventures will be had.

The World Does Not Revolve Around You

2012-01-25T23:08:00.001-08:00

This is a lesson I've learned from my job. The world does NOT revolve around you, sweet customer.. it surely does not.

Example 1.

I'm a cashier in an express lane. Generally 15-20 items or less. There is one other express lane open as well as 3 regular checkstands. Lady with a cart full of food comes to my line "I'm coming to this line because everyone else is busy."

Crickets chirped.

I glared.

And slowly a line of poor customers with only 2 or 3 things each formed behind the lady who took it upon herself to make up her own damn rules.

Example 2.

Working in the customer service booth. We do things like put Western Union orders through and pay bills, make money orders. Things that take a little more time. I'm helping a man with a Western Union when a lady comes up behind him in line. First the foot tapping begins. Then the deliberately loud sighs. Then she starts talking.

"Is there seriously no one else who can help right now? I have somewhere to be."

I ignore it and slow my pace a little just to piss her off. The poor man in front of me offers to let her go first, so she shoves her way up and hands me her crap. I take it and set it down.

"Well don't I need a receipt?"

"If you want a receipt you can wait until I'm finished helping this man. I already started, I can't cancel it." And I walk away. Still taking my time.

Even taking my time, she probably only waited 4-5 minutes tops. All the while whining about how she needs to BE somewhere, and how it's just ridiculous that there's only one person working in the customer service booth.

When I was paying her bill, the entire time she's just standing at my counter, sighing, tapping her foot, rolling her eyes, crossing her arms. Hello. I'm pretty sure you're about 45, not 5.

I took my sweet time finishing her order.

To summarize:
It irritates me that grown women (and men) will act like this. Like that store was erected and built for them and all employees there are there to help them. Jerks.

Moving (Again)

2012-01-22T13:32:00.001-08:00

Where? HERE. Well, kind of in that general vicinity. Sorta. Can't even WAIT!

Me Lately

2012-01-05T21:24:00.001-08:00

I haven't been around lately. It seems to be a pattern on this poor blog of mine.

Boyfriend came home over Christmas for a blissful 10 days. It was amazing, and happy and normal and I was in heaven. His time home involved lots of eating out, Walmart trips and spoiling each other, movie watching and board game playing.

I got the new iPhone 4s..because my old phone was a piece of poo. Plus, I wanted a new stinkin' iPhone.

I finally got back on track with my reading. For about 4 months I hardly read a thing.. but so far this year I've read 2 new books, and have a small pile waiting to be read. It feels good.

An old man told me that my time's tickin' and I need to get married before my looks go. If I was keeping count, I'd say that's about the 5th time that an old man has told me to get married.

Amazon is the most tempting website on this here planet. Yes, I said 'this here.'

I want to go back to school and feel challenged again, but I'm afraid I'll lose my focus (again) and screw up my gpa even worse than I already have.

I also am getting a small itch to move.. again. I move a lot.

That's it. I'd promise more consistent blog posts, but lets be real. I have a very busy life full of Netflix watching and being a super bad-a cashier at your local grocery store. Don't ask too much of me.

With/Without

2011-12-08T20:58:00.001-08:00

With Makeup (and an earbud trying to feel up my boob)

Without makeup, and no frisky electronics. Also several hours later, so forgive the sleepy face.

I think this is brought on by a certain rage comic:

Through my eyes, I see every flaw, every blemish, every acne scar and every little wrinkle line beginning to form. I see every reason to wear makeup and cover it up. It makes me feel better, and more confident. But I sometimes wonder how other people would see me. Would they notice any difference at all? Or would they be taken aback by my makeup-less monster face? Because I always feel like they'd go the second way, and shun me for being so horrifyingly ugly.

I'm not saying that I am ugly without makeup. But considering I'd probably start crying if I realized that I forgot to put on my makeup before going out for the day.. it makes me wonder.

Boy Meets World

2011-12-05T23:24:00.000-08:00

There is a very obvious reason that this show was my very favorite when I was a kid, and why it pretty much still is. Cory and Topanga.

“Mom, listen, I haven’t been together with Topanga for 22 years, but we have been together for 16. That’s a lot longer than most couples have been together. I mean, when we were born, you told me that we used to take walks in our strollers together around the block. When we were two, we were best friends. I mean, I knew everything about this girl. I knew her favorite color, her favorite food. Then we became six, Eric made fun of me because it wasn’t cool to have a best friend that was a girl or even know a girl. So for the next seven years I threw dirt at her. I like to call those “the lost years”. Then when I was thirteen, mom, she put me up against my locker and she kissed me. I mean, she gave me my first kiss. She taught me how to dance. She always was talking about these crazy things and I never understood a word she said. All I understood was that she was the girl I sat up every night thinking about, and when I’m with her, I feel happy to be alive. Like I can do anything. Even talk to you like this. So that’s, that’s what I think is love, mom. When I’m better because she’s here.” - Cory Matthews, Boy Meets World

Two is the Magic Number!

2011-11-16T20:20:00.000-08:00

The other morning, I woke to 3 texts from members of my family. The first one I opened was a picture of a pregnancy test, sent by my married brother. It looked like a negative, so I wasn't sure what to say. Then I opened one from another of my brothers who said "Really?!" and one from my dad that said "Congrats! Love ya!" I sat bolt upright in bed and my first thought was "Why are these people congratulating me. Am I pregnant?!?!" Then I wiped the sleep from my eyes and put two and two together. My sister in law is expecting another sweet baby, and my family was congratulating me on becoming an aunt again. That makes much more sense.

I'm excited to have niece or nephew #4 here in approximately 9 months! And excited to plan my trip to Virginia to meet the little one shortly after the arrival. I love my family!

Avalanche

2011-11-16T01:21:00.000-08:00

I kind of have this ridiculous love for poofy stuffed animals. 'Cause stuffed animals are way frickin' cuter when they're fat, amirite? Luckily I have a boyfriend who indulges me and buys me too-expensive stuffed animals that are about 10 years past age appropriate for me.

On that note, I can't wait for Christmas. I can't wait to buy presents and see boyfriend again. And give him his awesome present..

Oh and I can't wait for the start of the new year. Because you know what that means? It means people will stop grocery shopping, and I can breathe for a couple of seconds at work. Things have been crazy.

I can't wait for a lot of things. Now I'm going to can't wait for some sleep!

Veteran's Day

2011-11-11T11:04:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to say a quick Happy Veteran's Day to the people in my life who have served. To my boyfriend,

My dad,

My brothers,

and my sister in law..

Thank you for all you do!

Willis Tower

2011-11-09T09:44:00.001-08:00

On our first full day in Chicago, we got an early start at about 7:30 and headed right into the city for some touristy sightseeing. After some hot chocolate from Starbucks, we headed to Willis Tower, formerly Sears Tower. We spent about an hour up there marveling at the city of Chicago from a 360 degree angle.

..And then Ryan and I stepped out on the Skydeck. For someone who is pretty terrified of heights, I think I did well.

Reunited

2011-11-08T20:50:00.000-08:00

I got three glorious days with boyfriend. Well, two half days and one full day. I'll leave you with two pictures.. that for no particular reason are my favorites. Well, for very good reasons. But I don't want to explain why.

Hazey

2011-10-25T16:38:00.002-07:00

I've spent most of the past month and a half in a haze. Mostly just going through the motions, sleeping, eating, working, writing letters.

I got into a crappy insomnia habit, too. Something about not going to bed until about 3-4 a.m. and waking up at about 1 p.m. the next day. Have you ever done that? It might be nice to do it once a year, but doing it every night for a month really sucks. I want to be a normal person that wakes up at a decent hour. While I'm not working or sleeping, I try to make myself feel normal by doing things that are productive, like cooking myself lunch or doing laundry. I know I have an incredible life, no need to be jealous.

Somehow, time has passed. In just 10 days, I will be in Chicago. In 11 days, I'll be watching my boyfriend graduate from boot camp. And hugging him and all that other mushy stuff.

I'm pretty much jumping up and down constantly-excited. I will definitely have a picture ridden post (of not cellphone pictures) in the near future. For now, here are some instagram shots of what I've been doing with my life for the past month and a half.

Reading his letters and writing him letters

Getting my toenail ripped in half and making pathetic lunches.

Work

2011-09-30T16:42:00.000-07:00

[picture deleted because I got sick of looking at my huge face.]

That's my 'Cashier Face.' If any of you have been a cashier, you probably know what I mean. It's just a universal face that I give to all of the creepy, smelly, mean, rude, old people that come in droves during your shift.

I promise I have a normal face for the rare, elusive, 'nice' people.. but it's a harder face to capture than the above.

Hey. You deal with people getting pissed at you over the price of spaghettios and butter, and try to be nice to them.

Busy With Instagrams

2011-09-22T23:14:00.000-07:00

I've been keeping busy by..

Eating food that will clog my arteries

Watching my favorite movies

Writing letters to Ryan (and reading his to me obsessively.)

Putting smelly crap on my face to get rid of zits.

Things I've also been doing that haven't been picture worthy:

Working.

Watching Doctor Who.

Driving around aimlessly.

Searching the webs for plane tickets to Chicago.

Wishing I had more money.

Drinking too much water.

I Think This Will Be Short

2011-09-18T19:29:00.000-07:00

I miss my boyfriend so much, but tomorrow I will have made it to the one week mark. Which means only 7.. or 8 weeks left. And I think that was the hurdle I needed to cross for time to start going faster.

Today I decided I like my ward. I decided I like that Ryan's old roommate (and best friend in St. George) wanted to talk to me after church to tell me that I'm still welcome over at his house. It pretty much made my entire day.

And I decided that I'm lucky to have friends who go out of their way to make me cookies just to cheer me up. And friends who want to spend time with me to take my mind off of being alone. And friends who deal with my daily text messages of sadness.

Oh and I decided I suck at blogging now. I try to write a post every single day but don't know what to say anymore. Woe is me!

A Day Late and..

2011-09-08T11:45:00.000-07:00

A dollar short, yada yada.

Yesterday marked 2 1/2 years of boyfriend and I dating.

I'm sorry I've been kind of absent, but my mind has been focused on the fact that I have 3 days left with the person I love more than anything. Gosh I make it sound so dramatic, right? How about, I have 3 days left until I will be unable to see him/ speak to him/ text him for a little over TWO months. I mean, we're going back to the stone age and our communication will be letters. That's a long dang time.

I am having a hard time with getting it through my head that things will not be the same after he leaves. Part of it is denial, part of it is the fact that reality usually doesn't set in until it's actually... reality. The denial part is me thinking about french fries to keep myself from crying when people bring up his leaving. That is a true story, by the way. French fries. Try it. It works.

Putting things into perspective helps me cope a little too. You see, boyfriend and I started out long distance. We'd do our best to see each other once a month, but sometimes the distance and money restraints were too much and we wouldn't get to see each other for 2 months.

It was hard for us to get from the long-distance point to where we are now. It took over a year for us to finally live in the same town. So facing the reality that we are going back to the distance is very tough. So my best reassurance is my faith. And my belief that we are meant for each other. The real test starts in just a few days, and I hope I'm prepared.

(This is our second date.. in april 09. I can't believe I used to dress like that.)

In The Navy

2011-08-30T18:38:00.000-07:00

He leaves in two weeks.

Two weeks is dwindling to one. Soon one week will be 3 days. Then tomorrow. Then he'll be gone and I won't see him for two months and will have limited communication with him.

I'm kind of freaking out.

Because two weeks is a really insignificant amount of time. Not enough, but all that there is. I'm proud of him and know that this is something he needs to do. I know that he has nothing but the best intentions, and that makes things a little easier. But really, it can only be so easy when your boyfriend of 2 1/2 years leaves, and you don't know when you'll be together again.

Good Day

2011-08-19T02:46:00.001-07:00

Things I can cross off my bucket list after today:

- Survive an armed robbery (while also being oblivious that it was happening until after the fact.)

- Get yelled at.. no, screamed at.. by someone for something that was not my fault. Have said person continue to yell at you and your manager, probably just so he could keep looking like an asshole.

- Watch a movie that is gory, mysterious, hilarious and good.. (why have I not seen Inglorious Basterds sooner?)

- Eat absolutely nothing but goldfishies and chocolate all day.

I'd say I'm pretty accomplished for 22 years old. Ya?

Craving..

2011-08-05T15:49:00.001-07:00

I'm craving a vacation. Something that involves the beach, laying out, relaxing, eating, having fun.. and not worrying about anything.

I really miss the ocean sometimes. Is that silly? I don't think so. Not if you've ever been there. There's something about it that clears your mind as soon as you smell it. I just like to be there. And I really wish I could be there right now.

Phew. I just had to get that out of my system. Someone take me on vacation!

Lollipops and Raindrops

2011-08-02T20:59:00.001-07:00

I'll tell you guys a secret. I started a private blog, and that's why this one has been neglected. It's nothing against you guys, it's just hard to post about very personal things sometimes.. but I still needed a way to vent about them.

- Today the boyfriend and I went to eat at Kneaders, which has delicious sandwiches. I mean.. they're real dang good. No wonder people were so excited that it was coming to St. George.

- We (and by we I mean... I) also got some cupcakes from The Sweet Tooth Fairy..

Don't worry, I shared.

- Sometimes I think this town would be perfect if it had a few more things: 1. A Wienershnitzel. Don't hate, they have the most delicious chili cheese fries on this planet. 2. A decent mall. With options other than Hollister and Aeropostale. And with a Victoria's Secret. 3. A Super Target.

- Boyfriend leaves in just under a month and a half. It sinks in a little more each day that soon, I won't be seeing him for a long time.

-I'm going to miss him. :-(

- I got some ace advice the other day, while I was complaining about my job and not getting enough hours. "Apply for other places." "But I won't get anything." "How do you know if you don't try? Just try." Simple, right? Why didn't I think of that..

- I have concluded that French tourists are my least favorite. I sure love me some friendly German's though. Also, I sometimes think that this job is turning me into a negative person. I don't want that to happen. I always want people to think I'm a happy person.

- I recently got in contact with the missionary who baptized me, and he told me that when someone asked him to tell them a story of someone he baptized, he told them about me. It basically made my heart soar, then drop.. because I think I'm a disappointing convert. I'm a work in progress though. I'm definitely not perfect, and I do struggle a lot.. but I know deep down that what I believe is true. I just need to work on becoming better at showing it, I suppose.

- Life really is beautiful. Not every day, but I love how the good always makes the bad go away in the blink of an eye. I think that's the most beautiful thing about life.

- I miss my dog so much.

Exploring Your City

2011-07-24T13:50:00.001-07:00

I'm not really a person that explores much. I generally stick to what I know and what's familiar, and that's about as far as I go. But I've recently found myself looking at places as I'm driving by and going.. "I want to try that." or "I want to go there."

So I'm going to.

---

On a side note, yesterday the boyfriend and I tried a new barbecue place. It's been around for a few months, but last night we got to feeling adventurous enough to try it. It was worth every penny.

It's called Dickey's. It's a franchise, and if there's one near you? Go get some, right now. 'Cause it looks like this:

and tastes like this:

Trust me, your taste buds will thank you.

READY.

2011-07-14T14:05:00.000-07:00

Yes I am. No I'm not. Yes I am. No I'm not.
Whatevs. It ends tonight.

My Harry Potter Story

2011-07-11T11:12:00.000-07:00

Doesn't everyone (who loves the series) have a "Harry Potter story"? A story of how they first read it, became hooked and well... it's all uphill from there.

Mine started in the 4th grade, the year the first book was released in the United States. 1997. A glorious year. We had a portion of each class where my teacher would read a book aloud to us, and after we finished Holes by Louis Sachar, he told us he'd be reading a new series called Harry Potter.. the first book was Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. I was hooked and thus began the demise of my elementary school career. The next two books were both out while I was in elementary school. I would sit at my desk, hiding my book and reading, munching on some hot cheetos (which became my official Harry Potter reading snack.)

After reading the Prisoner of Azkaban, I lent the book to a classmate. He and I got in several heated discussions on pronunciation of names and such.. and he ended up stealing my book. It had been my favorite book of the series, and I was pissed.. but the school year ended and I never saw his Harry Potter stealing face again. (Psbtw, if I ever saw him again I would rub it into his FACE that I was right on how to say Sirius. It's "serious", not "cyrus" you loser.)

After that point, I became aware of each book having a release date. I had to wait in anticipation for each and every book to be released. For the 4th, 5th and 6th books, I would make my mom go get the book for me, then I would do the exact same thing with each of them. Take the book, take my Harry Potter snack (which was now Hot Fries, not Hot Cheetos).. shut myself in my room and ignored everyone and everything until I finished. Usually in one day. After that, I would re-read it at a slower pace to take in everything fully.

Then the last Harry Potter was released, just a few weeks after I graduated from high school. Almost 9 years since I first was introduced to Harry Potter. I was at the store before they opened just to get this book.. and my Hot Fries. I got home and I started reading, and was 3/4 of the way done by dinner time. Then I started getting sad, realizing that was the last time that I'd ever go through that routine. That was the last time that I would get absolutely giddy with excitement about the release of a Harry Potter book.

It was the end to the story that I'd been reading since I was 9 years old. I would never again read a Harry Potter book for the first time. From then on it was just re-reads.. (and re-read I did.) But I comforted myself with the fact that there were still a few more movies to be made. That was something.

Now here I am, and the last part of the last movie is going to be released in just a few days. It has been over 13 years since I was first introduced to the world of Harry Potter, and Thursday at midnight, the start of Friday, it will come to an end.

As sad as I am.. I'm ecstatic to see the last installment of this revolutionary series.

I know I'll cry. And I know when I'll cry.

I know I'll laugh.

And I know for several days after seeing it I'll be a depressed blob of sadness. So bear with me.

No Pictures!

2011-07-08T21:02:00.000-07:00

I feel like that's a fair warning. This will be a wordy post and a picture-less one at that. I've realized that since March when I stopped my regular blogging, a lot has happened. And I've told you guys pretty much nothing about any of it. So I'm going to do that here! In bullet form. While I'm typing in the dark looking out my window at the thunder/lightning storm we are getting right now.

I was promoted at work. I'm using the term 'promoted' very loosely. I basically got a dollar raise, (should have gotten $1.75 raise.) I'm a cashier now, and I'm also trained to work in the bakery. And I also am a bagger still. Should I find a new job? Probably.. But something is stopping me. Probably my irrational fear of interviews.
That dear boyfriend of mine joined the Navy. He will be leaving on September 13th, and I'm kinda sorta a little very much lost. While still being very proud of him and happy for him. It's a very messed up situation for my poor girly hormones.
I've gone on many a trip, including several trips to Cedar City. We also had a trip to San Diego which included a Padres game and trip to the zoo, and nauseous car rides. I went home for a few days to see my parents. My brother got married. Day trip to Vegas. And most recently we took a several day trip to Blanding for the fourth of July. I have never experienced such an American fourth. Parades, fairs, turkey legs, hot weather and lots of blowing stuff up. It made me proud to be an American.
We moved. Not far away, just to a different home. This took place one whole day after we got back from our trip to San Diego. We moved an entire house in one day. With the help of about 8-10 people.. and it was not fun. But we're settled now and things are looking up.... or at least looking flat. Instead of always looking down. So that's good.
I'm actually pretty sure that's it. It sure sounded like a lot more in my brain.. but it's still a good amount of stuff that has gone on in the past 3 months, I think.

K bye!