When I was asked to be a spokesperson for the Silent No More Awareness Campaign toward the end of 2010, they wanted to be sure that my immediate family knew my past before I began traveling the country talking about it. Of course my husband knew most of the details (although more things surface as time goes on), but how was I going to tell my kids that I killed two of their siblings?

My daughter was 14 and my son was 8 at the time. I didn’t want them to be disappointed in me. I didn’t want them to hate me. I didn’t want them to feel about me the way I felt about myself.

I sat the kids down on the couch and took a deep breath. I asked them if they knew what abortion was. My daughter said she had heard the word before but wasn’t sure what it was. My son was clueless. As I began to explain it, the horror was all over their faces. “How could anyone do that?” my son asked. He kept asking questions, but my daughter’s silence told me that she knew there was a reason I was talking to them about abortion.

I began to cry and said, “Mommy had two abortions 10 years ago. You have 2 siblings in heaven.”

I am crying now thinking about the shock and the disappointment on their little faces. It felt like the Mommy they knew wasn’t who they thought she was. I wonder about all of the questions that raced through their heads during those few seconds…all of the things that they may be able to articulate years from now, but can’t process in their young minds now.

My daughter scooted closer to me and threw her arms around me. “I forgive you, Mom…it’s ok”, she said. “I do too”, my son said, “and when I get older I’m NEVER going to let my wife do that.” We all cried together.

I went on to tell them about praying and asking God if the babies were boys or girls and what He would like me to name them. I told them about how God said they were both girls and we had named them Goodness and Mercy. “Like the Bible verse!” my son shouted.

That was almost 2 years ago, and they’ve heard Mommy talk about Goodness and Mercy a lot now. Anytime we hear a song with Psalm 23 in it or someone reads that scripture, my son will proudly announce, “Those are my sisters!” Abortion is a common topic around our dinner table. I joined the fight for LIFE by myself, but we now fight together as a family.

As Mother’s Day approaches, many feel the sting of loss, but along with the sting, I feel the guilt. I will have 2 Mother’s Day cards missing…my breakfast in bed will be prepared by 2 children instead of 4. There is a void that will not be filled until I see Jesus face to face, but until then my hope remains in this: “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life…”

This should never become common for us.

Easter was a few Sundays ago. Everyone put on their “Sunday best” and headed to church to celebrate that we serve the ONLY God who is ALIVE. We sang songs about Jesus conquering death. He paid the wages of our sin once and for all.

As I was singing “He’s alive now I’m alive and I will never die”, I thought, “I wonder if everyone singing this truly knows what that means?” Several years ago I would have had no clue.

The sad truth is that most churches avoid Revelation, end times, and eternity teaching like it’s the plague. They are misguided that it’s full of metaphors and mysteries that no one can understand…but this is simply untrue. There are more than 150 chapters in the Bible regarding the end times! While it’s great to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, we are leaving out the REAL END of the story. Which, beautifully enough, really has NO end.

The full, complete Gospel should include a solid end times and eternity teaching.

Look around. Is this really IT? Is this what God sent His Son to die for? Most of us have believed that we will live pretty decent lives here and then we will die and sit on fluffy clouds with harps in our hands forever. If we don’t truly understand the POINT to the death of resurrection of Jesus, the point to enduring in this life, the point to choosing love above all else, then we will easily be swayed. If we don’t understand eternity and what it will look like, how can we live with an eternal perspective?

One day Jesus will come to bring judgment to the nations, and if we haven’t already died, WE WILL SEE HIM. He said no one knows the hour or the day, but He never said we wouldn’t know the season or the times. So how will we know the season we are living in or the urgency of the times if we do not study what those times will look like? We will not have confidence in God’s leadership if we don’t understand what He is doing. This may lead to the “great falling away” of many people who are unprepared and who were deceived into believing that God would rapture them before anything bad happens. (A teaching most believe wasn’t accepted in the church until a prophecy given by Margaret McDonald in 1861.)

Along with the end times teaching, we also need a picture of what happens AFTER Jesus arrives on the earth. What does eternity look like? What is all of this for? Did you know that Jesus is our Bridegroom, the Church is His Bride and one day we will be joined together forever at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb? (Revelation 19) Jesus will sit on a literal throne in Jerusalem (Jeremiah 3:17 and Matthew 25:31-32) and will rule and reign over all of the earth. We will rule and reign with Him FOREVER.

In the eternal perspective of things, our lives here ARE a vapor. You will never die. You will live FOREVER. Even if your physical body gives out at 100 years old, you were still just a baby in eternity’s eyes.

Friends, regardless of our earthly circumstances, we have a Blessed Hope to look forward to…not just His return, but that we will rebuild earth with Him and His Kingdom will have NO end. The government will be on His shoulders. He will be the PERFECT King and the PERFECT Judge. I encourage you that if no man ever teaches you these things, search them out for yourself! It is a great promise that sustains our hearts and brings joy in the midst of tribulation…and the Gospel isn’t complete without it!

In the midst of those I’ve looked up to are also many I met for the first time…but our hearts to save the unborn and help the broken knit us together like old friends. The diversity of this group was truly beautiful. Women and men were present from every tribe, tongue, people & nation it seemed, and yet the sense of unity was tangible…heaven on earth, perhaps. I was so encouraged by this and thought many churches should take note of it.

There were so many seemingly small interactions and conversations during the Esther Call that were answers to prayers I’ve prayed. I had the chance to tell Laura Hackett how her set in the Prayer Room the day the birth Mom changed her mind helped to get me through the pain and disappointment. I got to tell many of the Back to Life walkers how proud I am of them and how much I missed being able to walk with them. I listened to encouraging, dynamic stories of forgiveness and restoration. I prayed and declared LIFE with a room full of voices who refuse to be silenced. It was the most tremendous sound I’ve ever heard and the most invigorating feeling I’ve ever felt.

At one point we were prophesying LIFE, shouting it over and over, and I felt the greatest sense of hope I’ve ever felt in my life. “Abortion really is going to end in my lifetime”, I thought. “I’m going to see it. I’m going to be at a celebration Call where we worship and praise the God whose courts of heaven overruled the courts of earth.” Yes…for the first time in the years I’ve been standing for LIFE, I felt that we WILL see the fruit of our prayers and our tears.

In the midst of writing this and trying to articulate all that’s in my heart, I was watching Bubba Watson win The Masters golf tournament. As they put the famous green jacket on him they asked him how it feels. “I don’t know how to feel,” he answered. “It’s not a dream come true because I never got this far in my dreams…”

Wow. That’s it. When the Lord told me that my voice would be heard, I never dreamed I would be walking through any doors like the ones that have been opened. I never dreamed that I would lock arms with thousands of ones who love LIFE and really believe that we will see abortion end. My life and my steps seem to be unexplainable apart from Holy Spirit. I used to long to be like Britney Spears or Whitney Houston…but now I just want to be like Jesus. So if you ask me what it’s like or how it feels, I really have no words…because I never got this far in my dreams.

Me: “Hello?”

Lady: “Hey Kelly, it’s Katie from the adoption agency. Guess who had their baby?”

((I suddenly remember who she is. Several weeks ago I was ministering to a girl who was 33 weeks pregnant. She had gone to the abortion clinic and my friend John helped her choose LIFE. She was thinking about adoption so he put her in touch with me, and I gave her what little information I knew because we are planning to adopt. I put her in touch with an adoption consultant (Katie). I talked to her about Jesus and how much He loves her baby. We texted back & forth for a while and that was that.))

Me: “Aww! What a blessing! Thanks so much for letting me know!”

Katie: “Well, there’s more to the story. She said that you made such an impression on her heart and that she would like for you and your husband to adopt her baby. It’s a boy. He is 6 lbs. 9 oz. and he’s perfectly healthy.”

SILENCE.

Me: “Ummm…WOW. Now? We haven’t even had our home study done yet. How would we do this? I’m shocked!!”

Katie: “We can rush everything and work the details out. First, you will have to get your FBI fingerprints, references and have someone do your home study as soon as possible. He will go into cradle care until you can bring him home, but once your fingerprints come back you can come see him. Kelly, I really think this may be your son. Call your husband and talk it over with him and call me back.”

Honestly, there was nothing to discuss. We knew this would happen one day. We’ve always been open to the fact that God was going to bring babies into our home. Were we ready? No. Are you EVER ready for a baby? No.

I called Matt at work and he was on board. I called my parents because I knew we would need their help and they were on board. I called the lady here who was going to do our home study and set up an appointment for the next day.

I called Katie back and said, “Ok…here we go!”

The birth Mom had asked to speak to me, so I called her hospital room. She explained that she had been praying about what to do and our conversation kept coming back to her. She said she knew we would raise her baby to love Jesus. I told her how grateful I was. I hung up the phone and wept.

The next few hours are a blur. I emailed pictures of us, our dog, our home, etc. so that Katie could show the birth Mom. I printed out over 150 forms that needed to be filled out in less than 24 hours. I set up physicals for all of us. I sent out reference letters to 5 friends and had to quickly explain what was going on. I made copies of birth certificates, driver’s licenses, insurance cards, marriage license, etc. Matt told his boss that he would have to go to Florida for a few days to meet his new son. We would all drive down together and then he would have to fly back alone so he didn’t lose his job.

A few hours passed. My hand was cramping from writing so much so fast! Matt and I talked about what the baby’s name would be, and we had fun laughing about how funny so many names sound with Clinger. I needed a dollar for every time I said, “No, Matt, we can’t name our son Jeb…or Claude…or Samson.” I think it was nervous laughter. We were scared, but we were so happy.

Then my phone rang, and I saw it was Katie.

“Well, she gave me all of her information. I was about to give her a few details and then she hung up on me. Now, she won’t answer my phone call. My gut tells me not to try to call her again tonight, so I will talk to the social worker at the hospital in the morning. Pray.”

I hung up and began praying…and crying. It’s funny how 4 hours ago I didn’t even know this baby existed. And now I feel like he is ours.

I didn’t sleep at all that night. I started to make a list of everything we would need. Our kids are almost 10 and 16, so we haven’t had a baby in a very long time! I was so excited…cautious but excited.

The next morning I waited to hear something. I kept getting texts from family and friends and all who were praying asking for an update. I was so tempted to just get in the car and head to Florida, but I knew we HAD to get our home study done before we left to go anywhere. I tried to stay busy while I was waiting, but I was so anxious. I pulled up an archived Laura Hackett set from the Prayer Room, and she began singing, “There’s a peace that comes to my soul when I remember You’re in control. There’s a joy that comes to my heart when I remember I’m not my own.” Sigh. Yes. His leadership is perfect.

Late in the afternoon, I finally got word that the birth Mom had chosen another couple. She had reservations about us not living in Florida and about him having to go somewhere temporarily until we were able to bring him home. So she chose a couple that couldn’t have children and were ready to bring him home that day.

Oh how I cried and cried. Our kids sobbed. Matt got home from work and broke down. We had to tell our families that it wasn’t time yet for a new grandchild, nephew and cousin.

I’m still fighting back tears as I type these words. They are bittersweet tears. Selfishly, I’m crying because I wanted that sweet baby boy. But the reality is that this girl chose LIFE because of people like me and my friends John, Patte, Heather, Allura, Deanna, Beth, Michelle, Brad, Andrew, Joe, Darby and ALL who choose to spend hours, days and weeks pleading and praying for Mom’s not to kill their babies. She chose adoption because I spent 2 days talking to her about Jesus. So, while we didn’t bring home a son this week, another family did. THE DEVIL STILL LOST.

When it comes down to it and all of the why’s are flooding our minds, do we REALLY trust that His leadership is perfect and ALL His ways are good? I can honestly say YES, I do. Our babies are out there. God knows who and when. And He ALWAYS knows better than I do.

Colton Isaiah – Mommy, Daddy, brother and sister are all waiting on you! We can’t wait to meet you one day soon!

“Though I cannot see, still my heart believes…”

Planned Parenthood has now said that the new proposed Virginia Ultrasound Law is akin to rape.

I’m sorry, WHAT?

I am so upset by this. I just want to CRY.

A medical procedure that is done by a nurse in a clinic is the same thing as what that man did to me in a hotel room so many years ago?

Most likely no one is FORCING you to have an abortion. However, 13 years ago I didn’t have a say in whether or not I wanted to have sex. I was FORCED.

If this law passes, Virginian women will know that if they choose to have abortion they will have to have an ultrasound beforehand, and saying that this is ANYTHING like rape is COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS.

If you had fibroids or cysts, the doctor would want to do an ultrasound so he/she can know exactly what they are dealing with. Will you then accuse that doctor of violating you? Will you cry “RAPE”?

I mean can we just call a spade a spade? Planned Parenthood doesn’t want you to have an ultrasound because they don’t want you to see the child you are about to kill. They don’t want you to see the heartbeat you are about to stop. They KNOW that if you see your baby there is a HUGE chance you will change your mind, and THEY NEED YOUR MONEY.

I didn’t want to see the ultrasound either. I knew that I would have changed my mind. They turned the monitor away and before I knew it, I was asleep. I have dreams about that image and wonder if at some point I caught a glimpse of my child.

But I was also a victim of rape, and I refuse to stand by and listen to this evil brainwashing.

Friends, PLEASE HEAR ME…we need TRUTH to be louder than the voice of the enemy!

WAKE UP. SPEAK UP. I know I am not alone! Be strong and courageous!

Recently, I’ve found myself agreeing with some who I never thought I would stand beside. Glenn Beck and Mike Huckabee have both made statements saying, “We are all Catholic now”. Rick Warren, the pastor of megachurch Saddleback in California, sent out this controversial tweet last week: “I’d go to jail rather than cave in to a government mandate that violates what God commands us to do. Would you? Acts 5:29.”

Today, the Family Research Council launched a letter-writing campaign by Protestant pastors and Christian leaders with over 2,500 people already on board to oppose the mandate. Click here for a link to the letter. I would urge you to have your pastor and/or church leader sign it.

The fight against the HHS Contraceptive Mandate really isn’t about contraception. It is about the Constitution. It is about freedom. The government wants to FORCE us to pay for abortifacient birth control methods (including the Pill), and we cannot do that without getting blood on our hands. Our tax money already goes to places like Planned Parenthood where they perform over 900 abortions A DAY. If you have the “right” to birth control then shouldn’t I have the “right” to say I’m not paying for it? If you’d like to keep our “rosaries off of your ovaries”, then I’d like your hands out of my wallet.

Whether you’re an atheist, Christian, Catholic, Muslim, etc. laws like this affect ALL of us. Right now the attack is primarily directed toward Catholics and many of us in the pro-life community, but what if they are coming for YOU next?

If things continue as they are now, I believe many of us will soon go to jail. Some of us may even have to give our lives. We love to quote Revelation 12:11, “And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony…” But are we willing to go further and live out the last part of that verse, “and they did not love their life even when faced with death.”

Friends, NOW is the time to fast and pray to prepare our hearts for what surely lies ahead. Plant your feet firmly in the Word. There is nothing more worth standing AGAINST than evil and nothing more worth standing BESIDE than Jesus. And like my Mama used to say, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.”

I think we owe you a sincere apology.

When we first bought your cassette tapes so many years ago, we were taken in by your voice. The strength and control of every note and the emotion with which you sang was truly captivating. Your voice was described as “timeless” and “flawless”. You gave us perfection and in return we demanded it from you.

Time after time, you delivered what we wanted. We will never forget when you so effortlessly sang the National Anthem at the Super Bowl in 1991. We watched you receive countless awards and cheered for you as we ascended you to a pedestal among other celebrities we esteem.

Then you gave us The Bodyguard, and you stole our hearts with “I Will Always Love You”. No one could hit those notes like you. We, perhaps prematurely, called you a legend. What a voice. What a heavy burden to bear.

What happened next, only those closest to you would be able to explain and understand…or maybe only God knows. The fame and accolades don’t fill the void like we think they will, so we try other things. We make choices with lasting consequences…destructive relationships, drugs, compromise.

The truth is that this void we have is God-given. He made us with a longing to be great, to be enjoyed, and to make an impact. I think in your heart you knew that, but you became known for what you DID and not for simply being a child of God. Your identity was in your songs and not in the sound God put in you.

So, we watched you unravel. We demanded perfection from the voice that could no longer deliver. We were disgruntled customers who wanted our money back, and I don’t think you ever recovered from that. I’m so sorry.

You see, those of us who like to be entertained did not consider your soul. We did not think about your heart that was obviously broken for a very long time. We could have helped to hold your weary arms up. We are selfish, entitled people, and I’m so sorry. You deserved kindness and mercy and a chance to be free and whole, but we did not love you well.

I’m praying that at this moment you are worshiping the One who is the very definition of Mercy and Love. I am grateful that He delivered me before it was too late, and I hope we can all learn from this to extend kindness and forgiveness in the midst of each other’s failures.

Lovingly,
Your Fans

As we began walking down Constitution Avenue toward the Supreme Court, I remember thinking, “Look around, Kelly. Take it all in.” The crowd is SO big that it’s easy to get carried away in the chaos. It was raining and my hands were numb from the cold. I was struggling to hold onto my “I Regret My Abortion” sign because it was so wet and covered in mud. I began to think, “WHY am I doing this? HOW am I doing this?”

As we walked, some would stop and clap for us. This, I have to admit, makes me quite uncomfortable. I realize we are being applauded for our courage, but the hard truth is that I’m holding this sign because I killed my own child. If the laws in America were different, that could be a walk toward death row.

Other precious ones would come close, take my hand, and whisper “me too”, and for a moment it’s easy to let a bit of pride rise up. We rounded a corner and I could see a HUGE electronic billboard in the distance. It was playing a video that began with the words of Dr. Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech. All around me, my Silent No More sisters and brothers were shouting, “We will be…Silent No More!”, but as we got closer to the video screen, a hush fell over the crowd and it felt as though time stood still.

Hands.
Feet.
Eyes.
A profile of a perfectly formed face.

The weight of it almost broke me. Everything began to move in slow motion, and I looked around to see the horror on the faces around me. I heard someone say, “How could anyone do that?”. “How could I do that?”, I thought. I began to weep, and then the voices came. You know, the ones full of accusations that we know we are guilty of. And once again I thought,“WHY am I doing this? HOW am I doing this?”

We got closer to the Supreme Court, and I contemplated if anyone would notice if I ran away, found a taxi, and went back to the hotel. It’s warm there and safe. But the truth is that if I didn’t want to give up on a regular basis then I’m probably doing something wrong. So, I followed everyone to the front of the Supreme Court where we would share our stories.

I looked over to the left and amongst all of us was a beautiful young lady holding a bright orange poster that said “Abortion on demand and without apology.” It honestly caught all of us off guard. Most of us have seen and experienced protestors, but this girl was all by herself. It turned out it was the one-year anniversary of her abortion, and she was standing for her ‘choice’. I watched some of the most precious, noble women I know approach her to love on her and pray for her, and she began to cry. I am believing that God is going to draw her close to Him, and that next year she will be holding one of our signs.

Julia read her testimony first. She was Steven Tyler’s fiancé many years ago and aborted the baby boy they conceived. Her story makes me cry every time I hear it. The pain is still very fresh in her eyes, even though so many decades have passed. I told my story next, and then Matt shared his. I am so proud of him.

Every time I share my story, two things happen: the reality of my sinful choices becomes very tangible AND a small part of my heart receives healing. It would seem that these would work in opposition, but together they are actually a beautiful picture of the Gospel. I remember that I am a sinner saved by grace, and that as I continue to pursue God in every area of my life, the door to the prison around my heart opens more and more.

I wonder at times if Paul ever allowed himself to think about the Christians he had killed and persecuted before his conversion…if maybe that was the ‘thorn in his side’ that kept him constantly reminded of his weaknesses. The pain of our past can be a hindrance to fighting the good fight, but it can also be a great catalyst to proclaim truth.

As I stood there in the rain thinking of my babies, I realized something:

The ones who grab my hand and say “me too”, the video of the babies, the girl holding the orange sign…THEY are the “why”.

The One who holds my fragile, weak heart and whose hope anchors me back in every time…HE is the “how”.

And if we don’t quit, we win.

Georgette Forney, Julia Holcomb, me, Father Frank Pavone, Janet Morana & Alveda King

Most of the messages I received were from many who felt convicted to do more but don’t know how or where. One man said, “You have our attention. Now tell us what we can do to help.” That’s what this blog is for.

Sidewalk Counselor/Prayer Warrior

Abortion clinics need people outside of them EVERY day. Many perform abortions on a daily basis (like the one in Orlando) and many offer discounts on Sundays! Can you believe that??

The first thing you should do is find out where the closest abortion clinic is. You can go to abortion.com, type in your city and state, and a list of all of the abortion providers around you will come up. The Internet will be one of your greatest tools. (I’m pretty sure the disciples would have used Google!)

Once you find the nearest clinic, you can begin by praying. Pray for the abortionists, the nurses and the clinic workers. Pray for the medical waste companies who make money picking up the bodies of dead babies. These people desperately need to see the light!

If you’re like me, the thought of being at one of those places makes you want to vomit. I completely understand how you feel. But at some point I had to ask myself, “If not me, WHO?”

There are many great sidewalk counselors and pro-life ministries who are wiling to train you. One of those is Pro-Life Action Ministries. Volunteers are trained, encouraged and scheduled to stand in front of abortion clinics for the purpose of talking to those seeking abortions and offering them the full array of alternatives and assistance so they choose life for their babies. They also hold regular prayer vigils throughout the year. You can also take a look at Pro-Life Action League or just do a search for pro-life ministries in your city.

Perhaps, you would rather go to an abortion clinic to pray and not say a word. That’s ok too! One of my favorite groups is Bound4Life. Maybe you’ve seen them with the red LIFE tape over their mouths? They are a grassroots prayer movement who believe their stand is not a protest but a prayer meeting. What is more powerful than prayer? You can visit their website and find the chapter closest to you.

Post-Abortion Help

Because I’m a spokesperson for the Silent No More Awareness Campaign (and a post-abortive woman myself), I am always aware of the regret that women and men who have participated in abortions live with. The Silent No More website has a page where you can enter your zip code and it will give you all of the post-abortive counseling places near you. This is SO helpful!

Here are links to some great places where post-abortive men and women can find healing:

Rachel’s Vineyard
Forgiven and Set Free
Surrendering the Secret
Healing Hearts (online)
Abort73

Also, we need men and women to register their regret on the Silent No More website. If we had millions of ‘disgruntled customers’ talk about what abortion has done to their lives, surely others would take notice. When we hold our “I Regret My Abortion” signs at the March for Life every year, the response is truly overwhelming. Many see our voices as the loudest.

Crisis Pregnancy Centers/Adoption Advocates

Pregnancy centers are a VITAL part of the pro-life community. The resources they provide make it possible for sidewalk counselors to have a place to take women who choose life. Many of them have sonogram machines, post-abortion counseling, baby supplies, parenting classes, etc.

There are pregnancy centers in almost every county in the United States. You can use websites like Option Line and Care Net which have search engines that allow you to find a center near you that offers free pregnancy tests and other confidential services.

There are many great adoption agencies in the United States. Parent Profiles is a very helpful website for a pregnant mom has chosen adoption for her baby. Bethany Christian Services and Christian Adoption Consultants are adoption agencies that I am familiar with. We are hoping that 2012 will be the year we finally adopt!

Lastly, I would urge you to go to your Pastor/Priest/Bishop and ask them to get your church involved. Many see abortion as a controversial or political subject, but I believe that it grieves the heart of God. If we are silent, we will be held accountable.

Imagine if EVERY Christian would stand outside of an abortion clinic at least once a month. Imagine if just ONE out of every 100 post-abortive women would stand outside and tell the women going in of our regret. While I am just one rain drop by myself, imagine the VAST ocean we would be TOGETHER!

As I pulled into a parking spot, I sat in the car for a minute and closed my eyes. I wanted to pray that I wouldn’t fall apart, but before I could utter a word, a movie began playing in my head. I could see that hurting, desperate 23 year-old girl who pulled into this very same parking spot in 2000. And suddenly I remembered it ALL.

Every room in that building.
The faces of the nurses.
The pictures of angel’s wings on the ceiling.
I remembered tripping on my way to the car because I was drugged and crying uncontrollably.
I even remembered the abortionist’s hands.

Perhaps I was being naïve, but I wasn’t prepared for the flood of emotions that came.

I also didn’t expect to be overcome with compassion for the mothers and fathers who were arriving one after the other and were convinced that killing their child was their ONLY choice. I could tangibly sense the despair and the hopelessness they felt. I remember it SO well.

I spoke with Robert and Lucia. They are both 18 years old, and Robert just enlisted in the military. He said his father abandoned him and if they have a child now, he wouldn’t be around to take care of the baby. Lucia didn’t say much, but her heart was not soft to hear what we had to say. We asked Robert how he could take a vow to defend America and then his first act as a Marine was going to be taking the life of his own child. He came out of the clinic several times and heard our pleas. But he chose death for his child.

I spoke with Beverly who already has 4 children and said the child in her womb had no heartbeat. I told her we would take her to the hospital around the corner to be sure, but she refused. She even looked right at me as said, “I know that God creates life.” She came out many times to smoke and would cry at the truth of my words. But she chose death for her child.

Matt and I talked to a young couple that looked to be about 4 months along in their pregnancy. They are both atheists and at first they were cussing at us and saying they weren’t going to listen. After awhile, however, they seemed to begin to soften a bit. She told us that the doctor told her she was too small to bear children and she would die in childbirth. We offered to take her to a high-risk OB/GYN to find out what the problem was, but just as she began to talk to us, her boyfriend grabbed her and took her in. Forty-five minutes later, she came out stumbling and groggy as her boyfriend opened the car door for her. I couldn’t help but think “So NOW you decide to be a gentleman? You are about forty-five minutes too late.” They chose death for their child.

the abortion clinic

Of the forty-six women who walked into this abortion clinic today, TWO chose LIFE. I know that heaven rejoices because those two babies were saved, but I wanted to do MORE.

At one point, one of the sidewalk counselors was pleading with the girls from outside the window. “You know that girl you were when you walked in that door? If you kill your child, you will NEVER be that girl again.”

I began to weep…grieving THAT Kelly.

But then I felt such an immense sense of gratitude. While I will never be that Kelly, I AM a NEW creation. I remembered Ephesians 2. I was DEAD in my sins, but because of His great love for ME, God, who is rich in mercy, made ME alive with Christ even when I was dead in transgressions.

As I left, I tried driving through my tears. How do you get past the heaviness that you feel for the babies and for the women who will suffer depression, addiction, suicidal thoughts, and lifelong regret?

However, once I stopped crying, I became VERY angry…like Jesus-turning-over-tables angry. My friend John, who prays outside of this clinic EVERY day, said that he cannot get ONE church to support him. He wasn’t even talking about financial support…he was talking about prayer support, sending people to pray, ANYTHING.

This infuriates me.

Honestly, this makes me NEVER want to step foot in a church again.

There are hundreds of churches within a 15-mile radius of this Orlando abortion clinic. While they are updating their offices, paying for sound systems, and preaching their fluffy messages, babies are DYING…over 3000 a day.

Friends, hear me, we MUST shake off our dullness and be SILENT NO MORE…and STAGNANT no more!

I am angry with pastors who never mention abortion and will not lend a hand to people like my friend, John. I am angry with those who think that writing a check is enough and never think about actually DOING anything for the unborn.

I am angry with Christians who do NOTHING to stand for the least of these and still call themselves Christians.

GOD.HAVE.MERCY.

My hero, John, who pleads for the babies every day...