Keri's Korner

Free Parenting and Relationship Books!

noreply@blogger.com (Natalie) — Tue, 04 Jun 2013 21:14:00 +0000

Don't we all LOVE books?!? Richard and Linda Eyre are offering many of their books online for free... that's right, FREE! Isn't that wonderful??? They have a large collection of Parenting and Relationship books available.

To view and read their books, you can go to www.eyresfreebooks.com

The article below was published in Desert News in February. It is all about the Eyre's and this wonderful offer. Enjoy!!

Authors Richard and Linda Eyre post best-selling books for free online
by Sarah Sanders Petersen

       Best-selling authors Richard and Linda Eyre have created a website that will house free digital copies of their books for anyone to read.
      "We're at a point in life now, in our 60s, where you start thinking a little different and our feeling is, 'Hey, let's get the books to as many people as possible,'" Richard Eyre said. "So much of the world can't afford to buy a book or maybe they live in a country where they can't get a book, but everybody pretty much now can get the Internet so you're not limited on who can go to a bookstore, or who has enough money."
       Eyre said that because they believe the ideas they offer in their books were never theirs, it only seems right to give them back to anyone who desires the help.
      "We didn't pay anything for the ideas we have," Eyre said. "In fact, we probably got them from other people. It makes sense to say, 'They were free to us, let's make them free to the people who want to read them.' We can do that because books have been really good to us. It just seems like the right thing to do to say, 'Thanks, that was good to us, now we want to give those books to anyone who wants them.'"
      The website, Eyresfreebooks.com, already contains 18 books that can be viewed online for free, including popular titles such as "Teaching Children Joy," "For the Manner of Men," "Life Balance" and more. Eyre explained that their goal is to add at least one book every few months until they have posted all of their published work online. Because of publishing contracts, they have not been able to list all of the books immediately.
      Another option will soon be available for Kindle users as well. The Eyres are currently working to get each of their books available to purchase for $2, rather than the higher current price listings.
Both options will be offered in order to stay up-to-date with the latest opportunities technology has created.
      "I'm an old school guy; I like books. I like to hold them in my hand, I like to feel them, but I've evolved," Eyre said. "Once I got hooked on the Kindle, I became sort of extreme on the other side. Instead of being a guy who drags his feet, I might as well get on the cutting edge — and to me the cutting edge is saying, 'Let's just make them free.'"
      "Teaching Children Joy" was the Eyre's first book published by Random House and truly opened the gate for their future publishing. "What Manner of Men" was written while Richard was serving as an LDS mission president in London. "Life Balance" was written 20 years ago, but Eyre said it is relevant to readers today.
      "It was written at a time when you didn't hear the word balance too much, but now balance is everything," he said.

{Sarah Sanders Petersen is an intern for Deseret News where she writes for Mormon Times and other feature articles. She is a communications major and editing minor from Brigham Young University.}

Last Day of School - Water Fight

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Mon, 20 May 2013 20:58:00 +0000

Last Day of School – Water Fight

It’s finally here; the last day of school. Kids are ready. I’m ready. Now we wait to begin the traditional celebration. A family water fight.

My husband and I pick just the right hiding spot in the front yard and await their arrival. Our buckets are filled with water and balloons are ready to launch. Flip top water bottles and filled water balloons hide in the yard ready for the kids to find. In the distance we hear laughter and see the first of many excited children heading for home; arms full of treasures from the last day. Friends become “watchmen” and signal when our children are within sight. They watch with anticipation and begin offering cries of warning as we hoist our “weapons” for attack.

Our kids are home! Eyes widen just as the first stream of cold water hits. School treasures are safely tucked away in the corner of the yard and they’re off; screaming, yelling, and defenseless! We laugh and declare victory until they find the hidden stash. Balloons begin to fly and the water hose turns on. The tide has turned. Four against two—we are all soaked and the kids declare victory. It’s summertime!

Each year the strategy of attack varies, but the end result is always the same. As our kids have grown, so has their creativity and resourcefulness. My personal favorite was when they recruited another family to join the fun. They made arrangements for a ride home on an alternate route and snuck into our backyard to attack us from behind. Victory was all theirs!

How does your family welcome summer? We’d love to hear.

Boredom Busters Project Kits

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 18:32:00 +0000

BOREDOM BUSTERS PROJECT KITS

“What’s there to do? I’m bored, Mom!” Well, let’s just do a little family activity/craft/game. Sound fun? Now, all I need to do is grab a few things and……… 15 minutes later someone (including Mom) is either frustrated, crying, fighting, or has completely lost interest in the proposed “activity!”

If you’ve always wanted to have fun and quick activities at your fingertips that don’t take a lot of time and organization, then this is the project for you. With a little effort, creativity (Pinterest is a great resource), and planning, you can end up with a wonderful variety of “PROJECT KITS” for you and your kids to enjoy.

Here’s What You Do:

1. Gather your children together and find out what types of activities and projects they would like to do. This could include making a homemade puzzle from a family picture, a treasure map of your neighborhood park with a real treasure to find, a video scavenger hunt or coloring kits of their favorite super hero. These could be baking kits, science projects, crafts, storytelling activities, indoor or outdoor games, anything!! Your activities can be simple or elaborate…it’s up to you. Discovering what they are interested in is the key to their collaboration and participation!!

2. Break down each kit into specific details as to what is needed for that project or event to be completed. Also, identify the age appropriateness for each kit. Make sure there are plenty of kits for your divided age groups (i.e. 2-4; 4-6; 7-11, 12 & up) as well as whole family kits.

3. Stock a Basic Supply Kit to include the following items: glue, paint, paintbrushes, markers, crayons, permanent marker, and scissors.

4. Plan, Purchase, Divide and Package. Each activity kit should contain an instruction sheet with specific directions and/or a photo. Please remember, no one wants to spend time running around the house trying to gather materials and get organized. Include ALL materials needed to complete the activity. Gallon Ziploc bags work great and are easy to store. If there are any items, like a kitchen bowl or hammer that every household has “at their fingertips” then list and highlight those items on the front instruction sheet. Please keep these items to a minimum.

5. CONTACT some of your friends who have kids and do your Project Kits together. That way each mom selects one Activity per Participating Child (if you are receiving kits for 3 kids, you select 3 activities). Please label the kits using each family’s last name. Each mom needs to make enough kits for every kid (i.e. 24 kids involved, 24 kits of each activity)

6. Come and Swap Kits

Each mom should bring a laundry basket or box to carry your kits home.

Now you have some fun activities ready to go when you're kids are bored or need something fun to do! Enjoy!!

Cooking with your kids - Can it really be any fun???

noreply@blogger.com (Natalie) — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 18:19:00 +0000

Ever hear little voices saying, "I want to taste that." "I want to help." "I want to see." "I get a stool." "It's my turn to stir." "Can we make cookies now?"

When we pull ourselves out of the moment, it seems clear to see how cute it is and how great it is that our kids want to help...yet in the moment, sometimes it feels like slowly getting pushed under water. So what can we do to make meal preparation more fun for everyone when little ones are around?

Here are some ideas:

1. Break down each dish into small parts that can be partially done by a small child, if possible. (i.e. measuring the spaghetti noodles, cutting carrots for the salad)

2. Begin the preparation by offering a choice whether to help or not.
"Would you like to help me make dinner tonight or help set the table?"

3. Give them a task...a real one – tearing lettuce, chopping salad ingredients, measuring oil, etc. The more prepared you are for them to help, the more fun it will be and the better their skills become! Pampered Chef makes a little flat rounded edge knife that cuts the food and not the fingers. Let them use all that joyful energy to chop some food needed for cooking or salads.

4. Setting the table while you are working on dinner allows for a collaborative effort as well. If your little ones are very small, plastic or paper products can work very well.

*Have fun and enjoy the time you are spending with your kids!*

April Parents Magazine - Discipline

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 20:47:00 +0000

This months Parents Magazine is a fabulous one! We would highly recommend you pick one up!. The magazine focuses on discipline, parenting challenges and the different ways to handle many situations. The image above is from the magazine and offers 10 Discipline Don'ts. Below are links to two articles from Parents magazine. There are even more wonderful articles in the April edition. Go get one today! :)

Discipline Strategies: Good News about Bad Kids

"Oh My Word" - When Kids Say Bad Words

Question/Answer - Bullying

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 17:41:00 +0000

I have a ten year old son who is using his large size to intimidate others, including me, his mother. What can I do to stop this bullying behavior?

First, consider the following questions:
   1) Is there something provoking this bullying behavior?
   2) Is there a place this kid is being bullied? (school, on-line, sibling)
   3) How is this person being parented? Is it in aggressive, angry fashion? Is it one parent or both?

Whatever the situation may be, when interacting with a child who is “bullying” it is important to:

Make sure that you provide a place that your child can be HEARD. Many times a child uses his size, because it has been more effective than his/her words to gain access to attention.

Respond slow and low to this child--Keep your words AND tone slow and low so he will feel your calm and respectful.

Respond with enforceable statements-Tell child what you will do, not what he/she has to do or shouldn’t do.

“I am happy to take you to your friends or to help you with your homework when I feel treated with respect AND I feel treated with respect when you use calm, respectful words and actions with me.”

Hold child accountable by using enforceable statements to follow through with a consequence when a child gets physical or uses size to intimidate. Be consistent.

Remove self from situation if you or your child is not calm AND only continue when it is calm. MODEL THIS CONSISTENTLY!

When child approaches you aggressively, say something like: “Oh buddy….. I am happy to talk to you when we can both be calm.” Then slowly leave the situation. Resist the urge to get the last word in. Do this EVERY TIME aggressive behavior is shown (by anyone).

Model that bullying is not effective to get you to compromise or negotiate

Pay attention to triggers and step in before they escalate. Offer choices before the child becomes resistant. “Hey…. It looks like you guys are having a little too much fun. Do you want a 3 or 5 minute break?”

If the bullying is happening at school, support the school with whatever consequences they have set up, while being supportive of your child and teaching conflict resolution techniques when the going is good. 5 Steps to Guiding Children to Solve Their Own Problems (Click here for the 5 Steps.)

If you aren’t sure if you or your spouse is using your size and strength in a way that feels like bullying to your child, think about the way it may look from your child's perspective when you are angry. Consider your proximity, tone, contact, gestures, etc.

One way to discover what it might be like for your child is to do role-play reversal.

Let the child be the parent and you be the child.

State the situation (You just drew with Markers all over the walls; You are sitting watching a movie you shouldn’t when it is chore time; You refuse to pick up the mess they made or do their family job. You just got caught in a lie.)

Make it “playful” and give them permission to be real.

Be willing to listen as it may be painful.

Then have them act out the way they would like the conversation to go.

Point out the differences in the role-plays.

Talk about what the difference between calm and respectful and aggressive and angry feel like and how it end up working out for them.

-Learn and do a little better.

Whose problem is it anyway?

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 02:42:00 +0000

My 12 year old daughter leaves her homework at home and then calls and wants me to bring it to her. This happens at least once a week!! What do I do?

If a child only calls a few times a year, it could certainly be okay to occasionally help out and rescue a responsible child. However, if a child chronically leaves their homework, instrument, or lunch money at home and then asks us to solve their problem, it teaches them that we are the solution to their problem. It doesn’t allow them to develop critical thinking skills and use the part of their brain to think through - “What have I done? Where did I put it? How can I work this out?”, and then determine what needs to happen. This thinking occurs when they experience the natural consequences of forgetting their homework, lunch money, etc. These natural consequences might be in the form of no credit for a homework assignment, or missing a band rehearsal, or eating whatever the school may provide for lunch. These experiences can provide just enough discomfort to make an impact and generally help children decide “What will I do differently next time?” or “Where should I put my homework so I won’t forget it?”

When your daughter calls, first respond with genuine empathy and say, “oohhhh…… I can see that this is really hard for you.” To which your daughter may respond with “It is!!” Then say, “It sounds like you’re really frustrated. Hopefully you’ll be able to work something out with your teacher. Good luck honey. If anyone can think of something that will work, I’m sure it will be you.”

This helps her to think creatively and come up with a possible solution and see that you trust her and have confidence in her. She may not be happy initially, but eventually she will learn to leave items at home less and less often. Remember, after they have received the “consequence”; do not discuss it unless they bring it up. And NO NAGGING OR REMINDING OR WARNINGS!

This scenario can apply to ALL school aged children. Remember, the cost is always cheaper at the current price. Would you rather have your second grader learn about what happens when he forgets his homework and then gets a "zero" or your sophmore, when grades are counted toward geting into college?

Teach the expectation first! Model the behavior for them and then let empathy and consequences do the teaching.

Allowance

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 22:51:00 +0000

With the last few years of financial hardship experienced in our economy, we have seen many families - young & not so young – struggle to handle the difficulties that come with being inexperienced and uneducated in life’s lessons of successful money management. As parents our job is to teach our children and offer them the opportunity to learn tools and skills that will help them to be resourceful, respectful and responsible in life. One of those tools should be financial management. When parents provide a home “economy” to practice using money tools and skills while they are still living at home, children are then able to better learn the value of money, how to budget, save and spend wisely. This helps them be better prepared for the real world.

1. How do I know my child is ready for an allowance?
Generally we recommend that allowances begin somewhere around the age of 3 or 4 years old. This is when you start a home “economy” so that children can learn how to manage money. We recommend giving children two dollars per month per year of life (i.e. a 5 year old would get $10 per month), paid on a weekly basis. Of course, parents with limited resources may need to modify the amount paid.

2. How do I explain the concept of allowance to my kids?
We recommend explaining that the reason they receive an allowance is because of the simple fact that we all benefit from the contributions that we make to the family. Some contributions exist in the form of jobs (like teaching children how to be ready for the grown-up world) or chores, our value system: like being responsible to tell the truth, trusting each other, being supportive and kind, etc. The result of our contributions are benefits such as having a place to live and food to eat; learning how to work hard, (how to cook & clean, be organized and follow through on a specific task given) and feel good about who we are. Allowance gives us money to manage - so that we learn how to budget and spend it wisely; and see its’ impact on other resources, including our time. Children also come to learn about the things that are privileges like going on vacations, driving a vehicle and having extra time available for special activities.

3. Should an allowance be tied to specific chores or behavior?
An allowance is designed to teach kids to manage money. Chores are designed to help a child learn how to contribute to the family. Allowance shouldn’t be tied to chores because we want our children to contribute in more ways that just chores. In regards to allowance being tied to behavior: allowance can be used if a child fails to do a chore and a parent needs to pitch in to get the chore done after the allotted time frame has expired. The parent can then charge the child for the chore and collect from the allowance.

4. Should a parent try to influence how their child spends allowance money or should they just let them “waste” it?
Teaching is the important concept in allowance! Therefore, modeling what we want to teach our kids is of great importance; that’s why starting from such a young age is so critical. Parents should try to teach kids how a finance economy works – what a 401K looks like, why you may donate to charity or a church, what saving for short term goal looks like, what long term saving for an investment is and what “spending money” is. Helping to set those up is really important –whether with a bank using a bank account or a piggy bank at home. Once they have their spending money” left over, parents should model how they spend their disposable income. This will help them learn by the parents’ example. They will also learn through family discussions on how to spend money. Once the teaching has occurred, we believe in allowing them to make the choice and decision to spend that money and learn from the consequences (good or bad). Parents should provide enough opportunities so that those learning consequences can come. When they are young, if they are willing, you can walk through the possible consequences; for example a poorly made toy that may break the day they buy it. When kids get older, they may or may not want to have the conversation – don’t force it.

5. What expenses should kids cover?
Once kids start getting an allowance, they should cover things like their own friends birthday presents, treats at the movies, and little store items that they may want to get – things for their own entertainment. As they get older and their needs increase, the allowance should also expand. One thing we highly recommend is “chores for hire” (chores that don’t need to be done weekly or maybe a one-time project) . If a child wants to increase their money to draw from, they can always earn from the “chores for hire” list. It’s important to remember that chores for hire are only available after their individual chores have been completed.

GIVEAWAY WINNER!!

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 04:34:00 +0000

Thank you to all those who participated in our giveaway!! We really appreciate it. :)

Our winner is.........

"Mary said...
I already scuscribe to your blog! I couldn't find your fan page only your personal :(

Favorite Vacation Story was to NYC last year with our new little baby boy! It was snowing and beautiful and we had our NTC fill - plus I got to cross it off my list

Best Back to school trip?? Well I'm not really sure - I would have to say my last semester in college would have to be it - ther is something wonderful knowing you only have one semester left.

Thanks for the giveaway - I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed ;)"

Congratulations Mary! Please contact us at 602.295.9611 to confirm that you know you have won.

FALL GIVEAWAY - CLOSED

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 17:55:00 +0000

We hope you've had a fun time with your family this summer! To kick off our fall classes, we're doing a

GIVEAWAY!

The prize:

You and a partner can attend any class of your choice for FREE

A few rules:

The prize can be transferred to someone else

The winner has until July 31, 2012 to attend a class

To view our list of classes, go to www.kerimaughan.com/classes-and-seminars

There are many ways to enter. Here's how:

(YOU MUST COME BACK HERE AND LEAVE A COMMENT FOR EACH ENTRY - you are welcome to enter as many times as you want. The more enter, the more likely you are to win!)

1. Share your favorite vacation story

2. Tell us your best back to school TIP

3. Like "kerimaughan.com" on Facebook

4. Update your status on Facebook about this Giveaway

5. Subscribe to this blog

6. Post about this Giveaway on your blog

7. Follow us on Twitter - @kerimaughan

8. Tweet about this Giveaway

PLEASE LEAVE A SEPARATE COMMENT FOR EACH ENTRY

(If you already do any of these, leave a comment letting us know - they can still count as an entry)

THE CONTEST ENDS FRIDAY AUGUST 12TH AT 11:59PM

The WINNER will be announced on this blog on AUGUST 13TH

(The winner will be chosen using a random number generator, based on the number of comments)

Question/Answer

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 21:55:00 +0000

My three year old keeps asking for the same thing over and over and over!! How can I respond so she'll stop?

Example

Daughter: "I'm thirsty"

Mom: "Would you like water or milk?"

(state the choice as a question, instead of "you can have water or milk")

Daughter: "But I want juice!"

Mom: (with lot's of empathy) "I know" or "What did I say?" .... "water or milk?"

Daughter: "I WANT JUICE!!"

Mom: (after 10 short seconds) "Nice try.... looks like water"

(if she doesn't choose, you make the choice for her)

Then you can hand her the water. If she decides to throw a fit and toss the cup -

Mom: Empathetically say, "Ooohhh.... looks like you're alll done." (And take away the cup). If she continues to throw a fit, lovingly scoop her up and take her to her room while saying:

"Uh Oohhhh.... looks like you need a little bedroom time coming. This is sooo sad. I'll see you when you're sweet, plus a few minutes."

When she has calmed down, set a timer for about 3 minutes. When the timer goes off, go get her out of her room and LOVE HER UP. This will let her know that you love her, but not her fit. when she comes out of her room, she can try again with the milk or water.

By removing her from the situation, it teaches her that she is welcome to be with you and the family when she can be sweet.

This technique can be used for ALL kinds of choices you give your young children.

Quick Bordem Buster

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 19:33:00 +0000

Do you need a quick and inexpensive way to entertain your little ones?

Using some painters or masking tape,
you and your kids can make a RACE TRACK!
This can be done on tile or carpet.
They will love it - especially if you play with them.

For more fun ideas like this one, check out:

"The Toddler's Busy Book"
by Trish Kuffner

"The Preschooler's Busy Book"
by Trish Kuffner

FAMILY VACATION TIPS

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 19:23:00 +0000

10 Ways to Improve Your Family Vacation
(for parents with children school aged and older)
By David Boesch, M.D.*
additional tips by Keri in italics

1. Let the kids help plan the trip. Let them pick the destination for a day or plan the day’s sightseeing. This way they will be doing what interests them. They aren’t likely to choose an art museum or theater, but whatever they decide will balance out the cultural activities you have chosen.
2. Manage expectations. If you tell your kids that a car ride is going to take four hours and it takes four and a half hours, they will be angry because you are late. If you tell them it is going to take six hours and it takes four and a half, they will be stoked that you are early. High expectations beget disappointments; even if you are going to a great spot, don’t make the mistake of talking it up too much. Talk about what is going to happen at the event. Walk through the drive; where you will be stopping and how long it is will be between those stops. This is so they have a sense of time and purpose to the day.
3. Make a spontaneous rule that can break up the road trip at any moment. We vowed we would stop at every go-kart track. This is a great way to break up a boring drive. It doesn’t have to be go-karts – it can be a driving range, batting cages or whatever your family enjoys – but it helps to have something for the kids to look for that results in a spontaneous stop. Be sure you collaborate on the "rule" to make it fun for everyone!
4. Develop a tradition around food. For us this was a pizza contest. One of our goals during our year of travel was to find the world’s greatest pizza. At each stop we asked the locals where to find “the best pizza in town.”
5. Use “dollar snacks” to save money and limit empty calories. We treated our kids to one snack per day, as long as it cost under a dollar and has less than 300 calories. If someone didn’t want a snack, we would give them the dollar to save or spend on a non-food item.
6. Turn museums into treasure hunts. Whenever we visited a museum, we started in the gift shop, where each of us bought a postcard of a famous exhibit. We would read about the exhibit in one of the books and then searched for it. Once we found the exhibit, whoever had the postcard would give a brief presentation. No two objects could be in the same section of the museum, which guaranteed that we would walk by a lot of different stuff. The postcard could then be cut into a puzzle for a game in the car or hotel.
7. Use electronics to your advantage. Automobile DVD players and other portable electronics can be a godsend on a long road trip. But some technology can be destructive to family time. (i.e. a teen texting her BFF instead of looking at the Statue of Liberty or a father who turns on the t.v. and plops on the bed as soon as he checks into the hotel). Not having these distractions forces your family to interact more, and isn’t that the point of travel? Make sure that the rules for electronic use are agreed upon BEFORE you leave for your trip.
8. Read your kid’s body language. Throughout our year of travel we were constantly tinkering with the pace of our trip. If our children were bored, we did activities to tire them out. If they were tired, we slowed down to let them rest. There is no requirement that says you have to see every single monument in Washington D.C. for the trip to be a success. It is okay to leave some famous sights for the next time!!
9. Don’t be afraid to split up for a couple days. Many times during our trip the boys went one ways and the girls another. This allows family members with different interests to do what they want.
10. Don’t leave home without a tour book. Throughout our travels we bought dozens of tour books and they have all paid for themselves many times over in saving money and avoiding hassles. The Internet is no substitute for a book that you can carry in the car and pass around to members of the family to discuss restaurants and accommodations.

*Four years ago, David Boesch, his wife Jill, and their three children packed up their minivan and set off on a one-year trip around the world that would take them to 17 countries on six continents. As time went by, their family dynamics improved dramatically. The kids became experienced travelers who tolerated long trips without complaining and David and Jill learned a few parenting tricks that helped foster family harmony.

Question of the Week

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Tue, 03 May 2011 18:55:00 +0000

“My kids leave their stuff ALL OVER the house!! How do I get them to clean up after themselves?”

1. Set the foundation before expectation! Teach when things are going good. Begin with collaboration or sharing the control by giving LOTS of choices. Once the child has successfully mastered the task, correction can be implemented as needed.
For example: “Today we are going to play ‘pick up’. Let’s practice for 10 minutes and then have a treat! Would you rather start in your room or in the play room? Do you want to do the balls or trucks first? Should they go in bins or lined up neatly? Which makes it easier for you to put away? Ok! Now let’s mess it up and practice putting it away again! Who can guess how fast we can get it done? 5 min or 7 min? Do you want to put some music on?

(With older kids who have already been taught, you may just skip this step).

2. As a parent, I must model what I want to see in my child. I won’t be tempted to remind or nag and can teach them in the present time. I may ask myself – “Am I putting my things away in a timely manner without whining”, OR do I say something like,“Hey guys… come and help me with this stuff… do you think I like cleaning up by myself?”

For example: If I want to model cleaning up and putting things away as we go, I may talk about it out loud: “’I’m just going to wash these pans up now so it won’t be a big problem later.” OR “I’m putting my shoes away so I don’t forget where they are tomorrow when I need them.”

3. If you see their stuff on the floor or elsewhere, do the following

- Remain calm, smile, and then give them the responsibility to take care of the problem.

Here’s an example:
Parent: “Do you want to take your shoes upstairs now or in 2 minutes?”
Child: “2 minutes”
Parent: “Great!”

Note: there is no choice given about taking them upstairs, just when it will happen.
If the shoes are still there after the 2 minutes, say something like this –
Parent: “I see your shoes are still here… Oh buddy… what did I ask you to do?”
Child: “But… mom….”
Parent: “What did I ask you to do?” (Go into ‘broken record’ mode here)
If the child refuses, say: “So are you saying you won’t take them up like you said you would? Bummer or how sad (empathetic one-liner)…” Then the parent takes the shoes and puts them in their collection/buy-back box. (I collect stuff and they can buy it back).

When they realize they need them, with a smile I can calmly say: “Oh…. I’m happy to let you have those back when you can pay me for the trouble I had to go to through to pick them up. And you can do that by ________ (doing an extra chore, or paying $$). Let me know which works for you.” (Remember, no sarcasm allowed!)

GIVEAWAY WINNERS

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 16:31:00 +0000

Our three WINNERS are...

JD and Hillary Darner said...
I Like (love) KeriMaughan.com on FB

Mandy said...
I subscribe to your blog. The pictures at bedtime have helped our 3 year old so much!

whipsters said...
im so happy to follow kerimaughan.com

*Please contact us at 602.295.9611 or natalie@kerimaughan.com to confirm that you know you have won*

Thank you to everyone for participating in our Giveaway!!

Spring Giveaway! - CLOSED

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 19:00:00 +0000

You've told your friends and family about us and shared your experiences. So......we are EXCITED to announce several new locations around the valley for classes added to our spring calendar!!

THANK YOU for helping us expand and grow! To show our appreciation, we would like to do a....

GIVEAWAY!

We will be choosing 3 winners!

The prize: You and a partner can attend one class of your choice during 2011, for FREE

**To view the classes we have scheduled, go to www.kerimaughan.com/classes-and-seminars

A few rules:

The prize can be transferred to someone else.

The winner has until December 31, 2011 to attend a class.

There are many ways to enter, here’s how:

(YOU MUST BACK HERE AND LEAVE A SEPARATE COMMENT FOR EACH ENTRY - you can enter as many times as you want)

1. Email your favorite parenting story (success or failure) to natalie@kerimaughan.com

2. Update your status on Facebook about the giveaway with a link to this blog

3. Like "KeriMaughan.com" on Facebook

4. Follow my blog
5. Subscribe to my blog
6. Follow us on Twitter @kerimaughan
7. Tweet about this giveaway on Twitter
8. Post this giveaway on your blog with a link to this blog

(If you already follow the blog, subscribe to the blog, or like us on Facebook, leave a comment letting us know.... it still counts as an entry.)

*You can update your status, tweet and post about this as many times as you'd like to. Just make sure to come back and leave a comment each time so it counts as an entry*

THE CONTEST ENDS ON WED. MARCH 9TH AT 11:59PM

The winners will be announced on Thursday March 10th

(the winners will be chosen using a random number generator based on the number of comments)

Question/Answer

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 17:20:00 +0000

Question of the Week

I have a 7 year old who is constantly debating and arguing…everything! How can I respond in a kind way (I’m tired of arguing) that will stop it from continuing? Even if I tell him I don’t want to discuss it or argue about it or debate about it, etc, he then debates or argues that point and pulls me back in. Help!

Use your favorite one liner, for example: “I know”; “ooohhhh”; “What did I say?”; “Nice try”; “I’m happy to talk with you when you’re voice is calm like mine” or “I love you too much to argue”.

Say one of those one liners with as much empathy as you can. If he continues to want to debate after you’ve said your one liner two times (and nothing else), then feel free to remove yourself from the situation. Walk away, put yourself in your room (lock the door if necessary), go sit in the car…. wherever you can find some peace and quiet.

For Example:
Child: “I want to go play now!”
Parent: “I’m happy to have you do that as soon as you finish your chores.”
Child: “But mom, he can only play for an hour. Why can’t I go now?”
Parent: “Oohhhhh……. What did I say?”
Child: “You’re sooo mean!!”
Parent: “Oohhhh…." (or a different one liner)
Child: “Come on mom!!!”
Parent walks away (saying nothing else: no “last-word-itis”)

*Remember- The most important thing is to have your heart right! It’s how you say it – not what you say. It needs to be genuine and authentic. And no sarcasm!

That will help you keep your cool and not get pulled into the argument. Later, when he (and definitely you) have calmed down, you can ask him: “Hey buddy, I noticed that you wanted to talk with me earlier, is now a good time?” You can stay in the conversation as long as it doesn’t turn into an argument. If he starts to argue again, start over with the one liners.

Have fun! If you have a question you would like answered, please email them to us at Natalie@kerimaughan.com

Question/Answer

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 19:51:00 +0000

Question of the Week

What can I do to make bedtime smooth,

loving and stress free with my 3 year old?

Choices… lots of choices!!
If verbal choices don’t seem to be doing the trick, try visual ones. For example: take a picture of your child doing each night time activity, like brushing their teeth, reading a book, sleeping, picture of a clock with the starting time, etc. Take the pictures and put them on cards. Then each night, have them choose the order of their routine (always beginning with the picture of the clock and ending with the sleeping card – they choose the order of the cards in between). Allowing them to choose the order often squelches any tantrums.

If they still decide to throw a fit, you can lovingly say: “Ohhhh…. Looks like we’re allll done.” Gently scoop them up and take them to their room. Give them a hug and a kiss; while still giving the child choices like: “Did you want the light on or off? The door open or closed? One book or two books? I leave the door open for kids who stay in their bed….etc.” Whatever choices you normally offer them when you’re leaving their room.

Remember, there’s always tomorrow to try again! Ending the bedtime routine in this way should only need to happen for a few nights – the child generally gets the idea that they are welcome to be with you and get to do the routine with choices when they can be sweet.

Really important: Have a practice session during the daytime! Have lots of fun and role play how the bedtime routine might go…. Then finish it off with a treat! Here’s how you can say it: “Hey buddy, let’s do something really silly…. Let’s pretend its bedtime & see who can do it the fastest. Then we’ll eat ice cream when we’re done. Ready? Okay, it’s time for bed. Let’s get our cards out….. etc.”

Make sure you continue to give lots of choices that night (and every night) after the practice session. If this doesn’t resolve after a few days, there may be something else going on. If this is your concern, please give us a call at 602.295.9611 and we would be happy discuss it.

Have fun parenting! We would love to hear your stories! If you have a question you would like me to answer, please email it to natalie@kerimaughan.com

*Interested in parenting classes to get more help? go to http://www.kerimaughan.com/*

Question/Answer

noreply@blogger.com (Natalie) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 17:36:00 +0000

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Here's a question I recently got asked:

What do I do when I can’t get my 10 month old to eat and they

just want to throw their spoon?

ANSWER:

Empathy comes first!

Here's a few things to think about:
What might be going on?
Is he just trying to play a game? Maybe. Is she frustrated? Maybe.
What else? What might it be like to be this child in this situation?
How long have they been sitting in this chair?

What else might have been going on that day? Is it possible that the child doesn’t know how to communicate what he really wants to this person?

Is she tired? Or he's hungry, but wants something different eat? Or maybe I'm the problem (not giving him my full attention).

These questions should help get your heart in the right place!

Now, as a parent – how do I lovingly set limits so that my child comes to understand that even if this (food, spoon, situation, etc.) isn’t what they want, they need to learn to communicate in a respectful and kind way?

Perhaps, they could just be telling me they are done with that food. As I'm removing the carrots, I might say, in a really loving way, “Are you done with carrots?" Then do the teaching: "Oohh, say ‘All done’” and present them with something different. “Did you want peaches or peas?” Give them a choice before they get too upset. Generally, if they throw their spoon again, with as much compassion as I can, I say, “Ooohhh, looks like you’re alllll done.” With lots of love and care, I scoop them up. set them down and send them on their way.

I thought I'd be fun to do a Question of the Week. So if you have a question, you can either leave a comment with the question or email natalie@kerimaughan.com and I'll answer one a week.

WINNER

noreply@blogger.com (Keri M) — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 20:24:00 +0000

The WINNER of the Love and Logic class is.....

~aileen~jaron~ said...
Sent you an email. Have heard a little bit about love and logic, would love to learn more...

Thank you to everyone for participating in the Giveaway!!

OUR GIFT TO YOU!

noreply@blogger.com (Natalie) — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 17:57:00 +0000

The Holiday Season is almost at an end! It has been a time for gift giving and celebrating with family and friends. YOU are a part of our family. Our gift to you this season is an opportunity to win a FREE class! Will you gift us your stories in return? We LOVE hearing from you! Our wish for you is a joyous New Year!

Here’s the WINNING prize:

You and a partner can attend this class taught by Keri Maughan's team

“Becoming a Love and Logic Parent”TM
6 week class, starting January 18th, for FREE

Go here:
www.kerimaughan.com/731
for all the details - description of the class, times, dates, and location

A few RULES:
The prize can be transferred to someone one else
If the winner is unable to attend this class, they can use it toward the same class that Keri Maughan.com offers anytime until December 31st, 2011

There are many ways to enter, here’s how:
(YOU MUST LEAVE A SEPARATE COMMENT FOR EACH ENTRY; you can enter as many times as you'd like)

1. Email your favorite parenting story (success or failure) to natalie@kerimaughan.com - come back here and leave a comment letting us know.

2. Update your status on Facebook about the giveaway with a link to this blog – come back here and leave a comment letting us know.

3. Like "KeriMaughan.com" on Facebook - come back here and leave a comment letting us know.

4. Subscribe to my blog – come back here and leave a comment letting us know.

5. Follow us on Twitter @kerimaughan - come back here and leave a comment letting us know.

6. Tweet about this giveaway on Twitter - come back here and leave a comment letting us know.

7. Post this giveaway on your blog with a link to this blog – come back here and leave a comment with the name of your blog so we can check it out.

You have until Saturday, January 1st at 11:59pm to enter. The winner will be announced on Monday, January 3rd.

(the winner will be chosen using a random number generator)