Keri Stevens

Last Week, I Tried to Use the “F” Word

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 18 Mar 2016 06:55:00 +0000

Yep. I gave it a go. I typed into my phone, “Hot bleeping mess.”

And autocorrect changed it to “hot funkiness.”

Thank you, autocorrect. Thank you for being the British nanny over my shoulder. Thank you for judging me gently and steering me in the way I should go. Thank you for allowing some of personality to shine through (after all, I’m a fan of most things funky, except for odors).

Autocorrect, while slow to learn, has picked certain things up: When I type, “Okeydoke” as one word, I mean it. I don’t mean “okay” or “oh, key dork.” And yes, in the Keri Stevens lexicon, “purty” IS a word.

I’m becoming a fan of anticipated text, as well. I type two letters, I get three word choices, and usually one of them is the rest of the word I was planning to key in. I’ve had some questionable moments with anticipated text, however: Once I emailed my husband to remind him it was pay day. “I need your…” were the first three words I keyed in. My phone offered up “hot,” “sexy” and “body” as my next three potential choices.

Boy, did I feel mercenary as I finished that text. I’m pretty sure, the nanny in my phone had made some judgments about my marriage as a result.

What about you? Are you having fun with the 21st century tools and toys? Does your tech have a mind of its own?

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It’s A Kind of Magic

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 20 Nov 2015 06:49:00 +0000

For my birthday, Dr. Stevens got me the blu-ray disk of THE HIGHLANDER, which was one of our favorite movies back when you got everything on VHS from your local Blockbuster video store.

(I’ll give you whippersnappers a minute to Google up all the weird terms and concepts in that sentence. You back? Good.)

The lead actor, Christopher Lambert, makes some unusually…intense expressions. I had forgotten how disconcerting his eyes were. Naturally, as I was watching, I IMDB-ed the movie and actor.

(I’ll give you “vintage citizens” a moment to Google up “to IMDB.” You back? Good.)

One reviewer commented that Lambert’s “piercing gaze” was a result of his extreme near-sightedness.

You say, “piercing gaze.” I say, “myopic squint.”

THAT’S what writers do. We shape and reshape reality by rearranging squiggles on a page. We wiggle our fingers about over keys or paper, and reality changes. I need to remind myself of this when I think that writing is just another synonym for “slogging through cold mud uphill while sheets of rain beat you in the face.”

Off to hunt down GREYSTOKE, which I’m pretty sure I watched on late-night cable television at my aunt’s house while everyone else was asleep. Because there was no way my mother would have allowed me to watch it, otherwise.

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To the Gal in the Glamour Shot

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 05:16:00 +0000

You may not know this, but if you play the game, “Type your first name and ‘Glamour Shot’ into the search bar,” some really hilarious photos come up. My husband is Steve. “Steve Glamour Shot” in the Google search bar renders…well, you can see for yourself.

Go ahead, take a moment: Try it with “Steve.” Try it with your own name.

Are you finished guffawing yet?

When I try it, I get something extra special: The FIRST photo that comes up for “Keri Glamour Shot” is…KERI FORD!

She was adorable back in the day, but then—I wasn’t too shabby myself! This photo is from MY shoot, which I had made in honor of my engagement to the aforementioned Steve 22 years earlier ago . My husband’s office is still scattered with these big-haired portraits of me.

Bless. His. Heart. Today is our 22nd wedding anniversary. To celebrate, I’m going to give some advice to the that girl in the photo:

Go back to Nogales, and go back to Rocky Point. Every weekend while you are living in Tucson, travel down to Mexico and have a great time because these days its not worth your life to go there. Those days are over and the world has changed.
Put down that cookbook in the bookstore and get to know your Crock-Pot. You are an adequate cook, but don’t waste your money on those fancy recipes. You don’t have the temperament now to be a great, precise cook and you won’t develop it. Save your money for fancy cocktails, because it turns out you do quite enjoy cocktails.
Speaking of cocktails—no, there’s nothing anyone can do to make gin taste less gin-like. Smile politely at them and drink something else.
You will reach a point when you realize that (a) you don’t need every single person to like you and (b) you don’t WANT every single person to like you. If I were you (and I was) I’d get there sooner rather than later. It’s good here on the other side of the Wall Of Bitchiness.
Your marriage sticks. Worry less about it and enjoy it more.
Three kids. Not four. Three is plenty—trust me.
To hell with the graduate degree in writing (I mean, REALLY, Honey!)—those people just get weirder, and you don’t want to waste that many hours learning how to write non-stories about distasteful people to whom nothing happens and who do nothing themselves. Remember the FUN story? Work on that.
Learn to spell “Presbyterian” correctly. And being asked to be an “elder” is not an insult.
If you can’t decide whether or not to go dancing, go dancing.
Stop mocking people wearing underwire. Very soon, you won’t have the right to talk (Remember all of those gin-free cocktails)

What would you say to blushing-faced you, bride-to-be or not?

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Cheating on my Library

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 06:47:00 +0000

My Porcine Pal

I have a confession to make:

I’ve been going to a new library to work. I love, love, love my local branch. But I’m driving five miles past it about once a week now and setting up my laptop at another branch entirely.

For one thing, it has a pig. The Covington pig, to be precise. In the greater Cincinnati area, painted pigs dot the landscape. Cincinnati was once the pork hub of the Midwest (much as Kansas City was the place for beef to be), and it’s nickname–Porkopolis–lives on. Runners from around the world come here for the Flying Pig Marathon runs. We love our pigs.

But beyond the pig, the library has…total strangers. I know my local branch like the back of my hand. The librarians greet me by name–heck, they don’t even scan my card anymore. They just tip-tip-type and pull up my account.

But my NEW branch is full of people who don’t know me, don’t know what I am doing in that corner, and never ask the most dreadful of all questions, “How is the new book going?”

I know that someday that will all change. They’ll start greeting me by name and I’ll ask questions about their grandkids.

And then, like the drifter who is born to walk alone, I will move on.

(I’m sorry if you’ve got Bon Jovi stuck in your head now. Really I am.)

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Gift Giving

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 16 Jan 2015 12:53:00 +0000

(Spoiler alert: If you are my friend, Crys E. don’t read this post until you get a surprise shipment.)

Some people love to send cards and gifts. Some people are really good at it. They carry their friends and families in their hearts and minds all of the time and always find the perfect thing to send.

I know these people are out there because I’m fortunate enough to be loved by them, but I am not one of them. We could analyze my psyche and character all day (and maybe decide that I’m a cold-hearted sociopath), but if you don’t live in my home, you will be lucky to get a call from me on your birthday. Christmas cards go out about once every three years.

When I do get it right, it’s almost always a spontaneous accident–and often has to do with branding. A friend just named her baby “Piper” and it turns out that there’s a cheap perfume at walmart in a really cute bottle by the same name. Momma’s going to get a bottle of that–and while she may never wear it, she’ll love having it on the shelf.

And my other friend in the gifting arena is Amazon. When my friend’s chihuahua lost his eye last week (SERIOUSLY, CRYS! STOP READING RIGHT NOW!) she posted her little pirate on Facebook.

Did you know that “chihuahua pirate” turns about two dozen items, four of which ship for free with a $35 order? Yup. Little Paco is getting (I WARNED YOU, CRYS!) a pirate costume, TREASURE ISLAND WITH LOTS OF DOGS book and a plush toy bottle of Barkardi Rum.

What about you–are you an organized, consistent gifter, or do you, like me, hit it on the fly? And what gift have you given that you are most pleased about?

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25 Years Later

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 19 Sep 2014 13:42:00 +0000

I’m taking a break from packing, cleaning and rubbing in tan-in-a-bottle to post this morning. While the dishwasher and clothes dryer hum away, I’m busy getting ready to go to my husband’s 25th high school reunion.

I also graduated in 1989, but to be quite honest, I don’t remember a dad-blamed thing about my senior year. All I really remember is how high I’d sprayed my bangs, and how it took a gazillion bobby pins to hold that mortarboard on the back of my head (because flat on top–ugh! It would have squashed my hair!)

Do you know what I do remember about 25 years ago?

‘Course not. But I’m gonna tell you.

I remember the footage of the Berlin Wall coming down. I remember the crowds. I remember David Hasselhoff standing on the crumbling wall, singing “You’re the Voice” (which Heart also covered. Or maybe David covered Heart. Hard to say). I may actually be conflating two different events, but I’m not sure…because, you know…25 years!

I remember being a bit sad and resentful. Not six months earlier, I’d been to and through that wall. In my rural Missouri hometown I’d never seen graffiti like the West Berlin side of the wall–such an explosion of color, words and art. And on our day trip to East Berlin, I’d marveled at the contrast. The concrete was clean and bare. The streets were clean and bare. A couple meters of concrete and what seemed to be two completely different cultures. If only they’d gotten to it sooner, I complained. If only I could have been dancing to David Hasselhoff while hundreds of people broke off chunks of concrete.

Because I’d ended up in a direct swap on my exchange program, the German boy who’d stayed with my folks while I was abroad came back to visit some months after the fall of the Wall. He gave Dad a blue/green painted chunk of concrete, which gathers dust in my parents’ basement to this day. At least I have that.

What about you? Have you ever had a near-miss with history? Or were you ever privileged to bear witness to the stories we now print in our children’s textbooks?

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Plotting the Party

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 12:29:00 +0000

I am a one-hundred percent seat-of-the pantser when it comes to drafting stories. If a character starts talking out of turn about something that’s going to happen in chapter 9, when I’m still fighting my way through chapter 5, I’m all,

“Shut! Up!”

But when it comes to dealing with real-world characters, I plot every detail I can. Preferably in spreadsheets.

Next week, 20-some in-laws are coming to visit over an arc of 6 days. On day 1, the first will arrive. On day 2, the next dozen will arrive. On day 3, everyone will be here except one couple. On day 4…you get the idea?

And if you worry that I have my dates/numbers off, never fear: I have The Spreadsheet. It lists who’s coming, when they’re arriving, which rooms they are using, which foods I can and cannot serve and what activities are planned during the duration of their stay.

The Spreadsheet, this year, is hyperlinked to individual emails from each guest which all get filed in a master notebook in Evernote (I am dead-serious here). That way, if Uncle Biff and Aunt Trish show up a day early or a day late, I can sit up in my bedroom and growl at this laptop screen before taking my wine glass in hand and descending–with a smile–to make passive-aggressive commentary for the rest of the evening.

Not, you know, that I would do that.

But before the Spreadsheet and the Evernote notebook come into play, I must clean this house. The One Document Which Rules Them All is called, “Enchilada.” ‘Ware the Stevens child who is within eyesight when Momma cries out,

“It’s time for The Whole Enchilada!”

Run, my little love. Run back into the woods and hide. But don’t forget your bug spray. And don’t touch those lemon cookies. They are for the 3p snack recipe assigned to day 4!

By shrinking the font, setting the doc landscape and making it two columns, I managed to get Enchilada down to 3 single-spaced pages. Want a sample?

Well, you’re getting one anyway:

Prep day:

I. Verify your supplies:

A. Cleaners: Oven cleaner, windex, pledge, bleach, spray bleach, Lysol cleanser, tub/shower scrub, toilet bowl cleaner, leather cleaner, duster heads,mops, mop heads paper towels, laundry detergent, dish soap, garbage disposal cleaner, lime away, wall sponges, canned air, step stools.

B. Guest supplies: mattress toppers, luggage rack, reading lamps, iron/board, one-cup coffee makers, computer desk, towel racks, small hair dryer, extra soaps, lotions, shampoos, toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, razor, tissues and toilet paper. Cotton balls and swabs in each bathroom. Baby wipes.

II. Take the boys to town:

A. Drop recycling, paper and donations

B. Replenish cleaning supplies

C. Rent carpet steamer

D. Cut the boys’ hairs.

III. Back home

A. Empty all trash cans and set out recycle bins, bleach and fill to soak.

B. Pre-clean appliances

C. Empty out the drawer beneath the stove.

D. Spray oven cleaner

E. Empty and clean dishwasher gaskets. Run dishwasher cleaner goo cycle.

F. Replace vacuum bag

G. Empty, rinse and set out red vacuum filter to dry.

…and we haven’t even started cleaning yet.

Are you lonely? Are you bored? Do you just want to roll up your sleeves and get dirty? Come on over.

But e-mail me first with your mopping-style preferences, and whether you prefer a bag or canister vacuum. I’ll hyperlink your email to the Enchilada doc in Evernote, and by the time I’m done, if we’re lucky, something might get cleaned around here.

**Oh! And fun fact: Autocorrect seriously wants to change “pantser” to “panther.” I wouldn’t mind being a seat-of-the-pants-panther, frankly.

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The Birds

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 21 Mar 2014 05:19:00 +0000

It took me over 40 years and one winter to break down and do it.

I joined generations of my ancestors in being a Bird Lady.

I don’t own one in the house—oh, no. That’s a whole bucket of heartbreak and crazy I won’t even begin to consider. My grandmother had parakeets. Some of my best friends have birds. Like fish and other non-mammalian pets that you can’t actually pet, Birds have always meant to me caged creatures whose poop needs to be cleaned up regularly. Since we don’t even take the newspaper any more, I have no means, nor desire to deal with bird poop.

Instead, I’ve become one of those people who buys birdseed and scatters it on her lawn. I am informed by my youngest son, (who, like all my sons, is an Expert In All Things) that this is wrong and irresponsible of me. We should be filling birdhouses and bird feeders. I try explaining that these birds, being wild creatures, are more than capable of getting their food off the ice and snow which finally brought me to break down and buy that first back of seed. He rolls his eyes at me because I know nothing.

Within a few hours, the birds had discovered my seed. My poor cats have spent the last two days sitting in the window, whining at the flock gathering on the back patio. The first cupful I put out there is gone. The second cupful is going. I estimate I have seven days before I have to pick up another bag of the stuff at Kroger.

But I know what’s coming. More birds bring more birds. More birds eat more seed faster.

Before long, that little Kroger bag won’t be enough. I’ll end up driving to the feed store for a 20 pound bag. Or a 50 pound bag. Or maybe I’ll just fill the back end of a pickup with birdseed, like my father and mother do to feed the Hitchcockian horror show that takes up the balcony off their sunroom.

I know the strategy: When you get the truckload, take along a small hatchet. Drive as fast as you can, window wipers beating, to get through the barrage of wings and beaks that surround you. Once the vehicle is stopped, open the rear window of the cab just a wee bit and slice through the bags, spilling your seed on the truck bed (which, I’m pretty sure, the Bible warns us about, by the way).

Then, as the birds dive-bomb the rear you run from the front of the truck to the safety of your back door.

What’s that, you say? Your screen door has a hole in it?

Ah, well. It was nice knowing you.

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China...I can feel the distance!

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Sun, 19 May 2013 00:09:00 +0000

I leave in 36 hours on a jet plane to Shanghai by way of Hong Kong, Guangzhou and Wenzhou.

You'd think I'd be totally jazzed...like, with jazz hands, even!

But instead... Packing Panic!

Spring Has Sprung Me

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Wed, 01 May 2013 20:07:00 +0000

I'm one of those seasonally-affected, disorderly people. As the days grow shorter, so does my temper.

When the Equinox hits, my mood levels out--and by this time in the year, I'm something resembling pleasant again. And not a minute too soon!

It's the dawn of conference time, when readers and writers gather in droves to share our favorite books, authors and drinks. I'm missing the Romantic Times convention happening in Kansas City, right now, and I sincerely regret it--much of my family lives there, and I had planned on a reunion the likes of which no cousin of mine had ever seen.

But in the interim, two other trips dropped into my lap and life: I head to China in a couple weeks to travel up the east coast from Hong Kong in the south to Shanghai. The flight from Chicago lasts for 15 hours. I'm hoping to sleep the entire way there and back.

And after I get back...conference time! The Annual Reader-Author Get-Together sponsored by Lori Foster has doubled in attendance in the years since I started coming, but the same friends always show up. I'm looking forward to seeing some of you again for the first time in a year.

And then I'm off to Rocky Mountain National Park with the family. I figure if I don't lose weight hiking in China, I'll almost certainly do so in Colorado.

Right? Right?

What about you? Busy summer? Lazy summer? What are your plans?

Keri Not Keri

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:54:00 +0000

+Keri Ford reminds me of me. But for the record: I am the evil twin.
Learn all about us today at Everybody Needs A Little Romance.

Mistletoe Madness Blog Hop: Win a Kindle Fire and more!

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 14 Dec 2012 08:30:00 +0000

Some buddies of mine and I are feeling the holiday spirit!

In addition to sponsoring together a drawing for a Kindle Fire chock-a-block with books, you can enter our individual drawings as well.

Me? I'm thinking you'd like a gift certificate to go with your new Fire (if you win that) or your old e-Reader if you don't!

In order to win the Kindle Fire, visit our main "hop" page. And in order to win MY $25 gift certificate to either Amazon or Barnes and Noble, answer the following question in a comment below: What is your favorite holiday memory?

This contest (and the Blog Hop contest) both end at midnight, EST, on 12/21. One entry per person, US entrants only. Winner will be chosen at random on 12/22, so please come back and read the comments to see if you've won.

And do hop around to everyone else's page. The more you enter, the more chances you have to win!

www.pjschnyder.com/blog/contests

Virtual Autographs. How Nifty is That?

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Sat, 17 Nov 2012 14:36:00 +0000

Okay, so, let's see if this works. If you click on the "widget" below, you should be able to order up my autograph on your kindle, nook, or e-reader app of choice:

Give it a try!

Master, Cleanse Me

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 11:38:00 +0000

Sometimes they ask me to write a little blog post.
Sometimes it gets a little nuts.

Come have some fun this Friday morning at Everybody Needs a Little Romance with me!
(I mean, come have some fun with me. Not that everybody needs a little romance with me. Because that would be WAY too much work.)

50 Shades of...Alpha? Dom? Whaaa???

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 06:30:00 +0000

Until I began attending professional romance writer conventions, I though BDSM stood for "bi-directional sado-masochism." Thankfully, new books, new writers (and a new kindle) have introduced me to a rainbow of romance flavors. I've developed quite the taste for paranormals, and one of my Carina Press sisters kindly agreed to send one of her hotties over to teach me (and you) some...nuances.

Remy Says: Alphas aren’t Doms

Remy (Remus) is a new character in Seleste deLaney’s Blood Kissed series. If you haven’t read the short story prequels, those are available from Decadent Publishing and many other online retailers. The first novel in the series, Kiss of Death, is now available from Mundania Press.

Too many years of killer vamps have triggered the curse of the Blood Kissed. They’ve awakened the bloodline that can alter their world, because her blood has the power to control them all—even make them destroy each other.

Jocelyn thought her troubles with vampires were over when she drove a stake through her boyfriend Max’s heart a year ago. Even though she’s engaged to Chad now, she’s never really forgotten him. Now Max is back, and Chad is taking her into the heart of the vamp community—and they’re the ones trying to keep her alive. The ones who love her and each seek to claim her for their own. Because once the elders know who she is, they’re all going to want her… or want her dead.

This is sadly Remy’s last post for the tour. After today if you want to find him, you’ll have to look within the pages of Kiss of Death (). For today though, he’s going to explain to us the difference between a dominant male, an alpha male, and a Dominant male. You have the floor, sir.

I do so love it when she calls me sir. Now, there is a bit of confusion in some circles about dominant men and I’d like to clear a bit of that up. To put it simply, the range of dominance is very much like the range in shades of brunette hair. There is a color that is such a dark brown that most people can’t tell the difference unless they put it right next to someone with black hair. And then there’s that sandy shade that is almost, but not quite, blond. That’s the range we’ll work with. (Also, I’m focusing on men here, but the same things can probably be used in regard to women. However, as I’m not a woman, I’d only be guessing.)

First, dominance in general is a personality trait. A dominant male can be any shade from the sandy to the almost black. These men like to be in charge and are uncomfortable in situations where someone else has control. For instance, they can make the worst backseat drivers. Those are the situations for which ball gags and restraints were truly invented. Now if you notice, I said they can make horrid backseat drivers. That’s because some dominant men have learned that while there are situations they can’t control, they are always in control of themselves. This degree of self-knowledge makes it so they don’t eternally have to assert their dominance. A dominant male who knows himself that well is a beautiful thing.

Moving along, we’ll discuss alpha (or Alpha) males. The term alpha comes from wolf packs (were or otherwise). The Alpha is the one in charge of keeping the pack in line. He can do this through whatever means he feels fits the situation from dominant behavior, aggression, violence, etc. Because of this, Alphas are almost always dominant males. (I only say almost because I hate people pointing out exceptions. It makes me want to go all dominant male on their asses.) The thing is, in any pack situation, you have a number of dominant males who want to be Alpha since the position basically says, “I’m the most dominant of the dominant, all should bow before me and lick my nuts.” (And yes, I once heard a werewolf say that. However, it was in French, so it sounded much nicer.) The point there being that an Alpha always has to defend their title against challengers.

This is very similar to the non-wolf world. There, alpha males (Since they aren’t really Alphas of anything, they don’t get the capital.) are in charge of other things. They are often the boss at work or an officer in the military or career cops. Also, alpha-types can go the opposite way and become criminals, often leading a gang of other criminals (in this case, they become much closer to the wolf-pack scenario than other real-world cases since fights for the top spot can often end in injury or death.)

And so we come to the Dominants. Dominants can be alphas, but they need to be much more than that. (Remember those dominant males who aren’t horrible backseat drivers?) A Dom is in charge and in control, but a key thing is they should always be in control of themselves and the situation before exerting their control over others. (And yes, if you haven’t figured it out, we’re talking BDSM Dominants here.) An out of control Dom can be just this side of an abuser (and can, in fact, easily cross that line.) It’s one reason the most respected Doms in the lifestyle have gone through training and have references they will supply to interested submissives.

Unlike Alphas, Doms don’t need to defend their position. They are the Dom—period. Depending on the contract/relationship involved that status may or may not be bedroom (or in some cases, dungeon) specific. Many Dominants do not use violence/pain at all, even as punishment. (Though really? Where’s the fun in that?) Doms exert their dominance in a variety of ways, but their position is clear in the way they carry themselves and behave. The point is, once you start seeing Dominant males, seeing that glint in their eye, you can’t unsee it. A Dom doesn’t have to announce that he’s a Dom—people will just know.

For a very clear example, take the latest Star Trek movie. Chris Pine (medium brown hair) portrays Kirk as an admirable alpha. He’s in charge and has to challenge for the spot. Then there is the amazing Zachary Quinto (with hair dark as a dungeon with no windows) as Spock. Spock doesn’t need to be Captain, and he truly only strives for the spot because he believe Kirk is a fool (not necessarily without cause). When it becomes clear Kirk is the man for the job, Spock steps back. But if you notice, he never loses that edge he carries throughout the film. Even when he loses control, he comes right back to steady and calm. Kirk might be alpha, but Spock—glorious Spock—is the Dominant.

So to summarize in a confusing way that should put you right back where you started… Both alphas and Doms are dominant males. An alpha can be a Dom and a Dom can be an alpha, but they don’t necessarily have to be.

And in case you’re wondering where I fall on that spectrum… my hair is black.

You can find more Remy in the pages of Kiss of Death, and you can find Seleste all over the internet, including Her website and blog; on Twitter as @Selestedelaney; and on Facebook at both her profile and author page.

The Awkward Date

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 12:47:00 +0000

Sigh...
Oh! Oh, yeah. The guest blogger!
(Sorry, I got a bit distracted.)

There's another Keri out there - but she's not me! I want to get that clear, because dang, some days I wish she were. Keri Ford writes hot and spicy contemporary romances that take you on an emotional roller-coaster ride. When I've had a rough day, I download one of her novellas. I think she knows that since her new series is Roughnecks.

Get it? "Rough" day? "Roughnecks"?

Nevermind. Over to the good stuff (including a giveaway!)

Big thank to Keri Stevens for having me today!! I can't wait to talk a little about my latest release, Rough Play. During this book, the hero suggests dinner to the heroine. She agrees and then a few hours later, reality hits her. She's going on a date. Dating. That time that falls between saying "Hello" and "I Do".

Or in other cases, "Hello" and "Goodbye". For Jacob and Flora, it's a long, quiet date. Conversation doesn't happen. From hot chemistry between the sheets, the only thing with a little spice and heat at that table is the food. It doesn't take them long to figure out that dating is too much work. They're much better at grabbing take out and then taking…well, you'll have to read the story for THAT part.

Bad dates. Awkward Dates. The most horrible date ever. Lay it on me and one commenter will get Life After War: Book One The Survivors by Angela White. Giveaway is a print, open internationally. Book contains both books one and two!

Rough Play, second in The Roughnecks Series, is now available!

Jacob Iverson has plans. Distant plans, but they do exist. Find the right woman, eventually settle down and do the whole “white picket fence” routine. But until eventually comes, he’s having fun with right now. Then he meets Flora, who blows him back a step. Or two. Suddenly his distant plans are rushing up to meet him…only not quite the way he imagined. Abandoned at seventeen, Flora Simms has made her way through the world, found life and family in the form of two best friends. Everything is just the way she likes it. From life to love to relationships, she knows what she wants, how she wants it, and doesn’t care if anyone agrees or not. And what she doesn’t want is someone trying to tie her down with long-term plans. But Jacob Iverson brings images of the future to her mind, and heart. Jacob somehow knows what she needs and he’s hitting all the right spots. But can Flora give up her idea of independence to let him in?

$2.99 at Amazon Kindle | B&N Nook | Kobo | AllRomanceEbooks | TMP | Smashwords | Bookstrand. Coming soon in print.

Add to your Goodreads Shelf
For the latest information on Keri and her books at
Website http://bit.ly/Heo4Vr
Twitter http://bit.ly/HRgGgu
Facebook http://on.fb.me/HenzL0

An ALMOST NSFW post!

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 12:19:00 +0000

If your boss is looking over your shoulder today when you read my post at Everybody Needs a Little Romance, just roll your eyes at her and say, "What? They're only tomatoes."

Stone Kissed won an IDA!

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 16:54:00 +0000

She's like a RITA (okay, so it's NOT a RITA.) But she is an IDA--an International Digital Award in long-form paranormal romance for Stone Kissed. See my pretty "You won!" button? I do so love purple:

Who else won? Many great Carina Press authors, to drop a few names. Head on over to the Oklahoma RWA chapter's results page to fill up your e-Reader with a buncha-buncha great books and stories!

Review: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Wed, 30 May 2012 20:36:00 +0000

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: A Trilogy in Four Parts by Douglas Adams
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I've read this series six times. I cannot (ever) remember any of it, except random character names. So I read it again. And I enjoy it every time--and it all flows away. If I were on a desert island with only one book series, I'd take this because I know I'd always be entertained anew.

My oldest just read it for the first time and giggled aloud the entire time. He actually remembers parts of it, though--evidence of evolution, I guess. Assuming, of course, that remembering Douglas Adams enhances survival and reproductive chances. After all I did fairly well, and I...wait. What were we discussing again?

View all my reviews

The more things change...

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Tue, 01 May 2012 21:55:00 +0000

...the more confused I get. But I'm moving into the 21st century! Updated my facebook page today, and added links to my Amazon "store," where you can pick up Stone Kissed. It's been a great debut - Stone Kissed won "Best First Book" in the 2011 Golden Quill contest. Click here for a free taste of the book, and tweet me at @keristevens.

Caffeine-Free Convention

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 10:40:00 +0000

I'm at the group blog, Everybody Needs a Little Romance, talking about the Romantic Times Book Reviews 2012 Convention, which I attended in an altered state...come say hello!

There Are No Mondays For Writers

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia D'Alba) — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 11:19:00 +0000

This post is proudly a stop on the TEXAS TWO STEP Blog Tour. For a complete listing of all stops on this tour, please visit here. All contests are for U.S. residents only unless otherwise noted. Comments left on this blog will be counted toward the Texas Two Step Faithful Follower Gift Certificate. To see a complete listing of Blog Tour Prizes, click here. Be sure to check out the freebies. Yours for the asking as long as they last.

Thank you to Keri for turning over her blog to me today. I met Keri online but she was invaluable to me during my term as PRO Liaison to the RWA Board. Thanks, Keri!

Mondays. Not the favorite day of the week for many people. Ask people about Mondays and you’ll might get responses like…

Monday, Monday…Can’t trust that day…(For you youngsters who don’t remember The Mommas and The Papas, I’ll give you a video to watch)

Or maybe someone will mutter...It's Another Manic Monday!

or you might hear...

Sadly, if you ask Roxanne St. Claire about Mondays, you'll get, "The Bachelor!!"

Just in case you haven't seen Ellen as part of The Bachelor's bachelorettes...

video platform video management video solutions video player

If you listened to the Manic Monday video, one of the lines is.."Wish it were Sunday. It's my fun day." That simply doesn't work for writers. Sundays can be just another day in the week for writers.

Here’s the deal with authors…Mondays don’t matter. There are no “Mondays” for writers. Monday is pretty much like every other day of the week.

Weekends? What are those? We still have to write, or edit, or answer fan mail, or blog, or do some type of promo.

The other problem? When we're NOT writing, we feel guilty for not writing. When we're writing, we are simply in another world, incommunicado with family and friends. You cannot imagine the number of times my husband has come spoken to me while I'm writing and I either don't respond or have no idea what he's talking about.

This morning (I'm writing this on MONDAY!! No rest for the wicked.) I got the nicest note from a woman who'd just finished reading Texas Two Step. In part it read, "Just got done reading your Texas two step book and LOVED It..Just wondering when the next book will be out so I can pre-order it.." Talk about something really making my day!

So I feel guilty that I spent the weekend mailing out my Texas Two Step Freebies (check the bottom of this post for more info), writing a couple of guest blogs that were due, and taking a couple of long naps! What should I have been doing? Writing of course.

So my point is that every day in a writer's life is a Monday. There are no days away from work. The work is always with you, always on your mind. If I'm not actually writing, I'm thinking about writing.

If you think I'm complaining about the life of a writer, you'd be wrong. See the paragraph above from the Texas Two Step reader? We all live for those notes! I love being a writer and touching the lives of readers. I love giving a reader a few hours of pure fantasy away from their daily grind.

So the next time you read a book and really liked it, drop the author a note, review it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or Goodreads (or all of them!). That special scene in the book that really made the book for you might have been written on Sunday, or Monday, or Tuesday, or..well, you get the idea!

Have you ever written a note or email to an author about a book you just read? Tell me about it. What was the book and author? What was so moving about the book that you just had to let the author know?

If you’ve stumbled across my Texas Two Step blog tour over the past month, you may be aware that many of my author friends volunteered to be Blog Tour Sponsors and donated books for me to give as prizes. Today's blog is special. I'm giving away TWO books!

MA Golla writes wonderful Middle Grade books. If you've got a child between 8 and 12, you'll want to win Lost Leprechaun Loot. Margaret will send a digital copy to one lucky person who leaves a comment. To find out more about Margaret, visit Website, Twitter or Facebook.

My other Blog Tour Author Sponsor today is Carina Press author Natalie Damschroder. Natalie will send Behind The Scenes to one lucky person who leaves a comment. To find out more about today’s Blog Tour Sponsor, you can visit her Website, Twitter or Facebook.

To learn more about me check out these links:

Website , Facebook. Twitter, Group Blog , and Personal Blog

And if those aren’t enough, Sign up for inside scoops and special contests by receiving the newsletter I share with my blog buddies.

Remember! Leave a comment for a chance to win either Margaret or Natalie's book!

Texas Two Step is available at Samhain, Amazon, and Barnes & Noble or your favorite online bookstore.

This will be me if you buy Texas Two Step!

Thanks Keri for letting me play here today!

Don't forget to ask for your freebie!

Creativity--it ain't universal.

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:22:00 +0000

Just because one has some skillz in one area doesn't mean one is skilled at all creative endeavors.

Witness:

Romantic Times Conventioneers: Heads Up!

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 15:26:00 +0000

This, I promise you, will be the hip-hop-happeningest time at the 2012 RT Convention:

Carina Press Romance Bingo

(FRIDAY, 1:30-2:30pm) Get your daubers ready! The pace will be fast, the competition intense, the prizes irresistible and the romance phrases … a bit on the cheeky side, as Angela James and Carina Press authors act as callers for a bingo game like none you’ve ever played.

Hosts: Angela James (editorial director, Carina Press), Zoë Archer, Adrienne Giordano, Nico Rosso, Keri Stevens, Shelli Stevens

I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this. I think I was Cleopatra's Bingo Caller in a former life.

Ritual Magic in the New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Keri Stevens) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 13:58:00 +0000

Okay, I'm trying a NEW approach to my resolutions: Good, or goofy? Come tell me at Here Be Magic...