Who is Susan?

I am a 40 [cough cough] year young mother who delights in being a wife and mother. I am a slave of God, the Creator of the world. I have been married to my beloved for over 20 years and together we have five children. My greatest joy is in proclaiming the gospel to my children and teaching them the ways of the Lord. I am also compelled, by the love of God, to encourage others to proclaim the kerugma!

What Do I Do?

• I manage the home and family logistics.
• I teach my children at home.
• I build and manage websites. I participate in online forums.
• I read. I study.
• I drink coffee and eat chocolate and cheese. Occasionally, I cook. Only occasionally.

What Do I Like?

I love being with my family and love nothing more than a good coffee with a slice of baklava. I’m more than a little partial to Millel Parmesan Cheese. I enjoy Bible study, reading books, reading on my Kindle, studying health and nutrition, softball, fine chocolate and good movies. I enjoy learning about website design and creating websites primarily using WordPress. I like much more than that but these are all I have time for in my regular, day-to-day life.

Where Am I Online?

• Here at Kerugma… send me an email from this page.
• Subscribe to my post or comment feeds from this page.
• Find me on Facebook
• Find me on Twitter
• Find me over at AussieHomeschool

Who are the HomeGrownKids?

It might help you to know the members of our family. There is me-Susan, and John (my husband and father of my children). There children are:

• Chops will be 28 yo in 2012
• Graceful will be 21 in 2012 (Miss Graceful is now Mrs. Graceful – married in 2011)
• Joyous celebrated her 19th birthday in 2012
• Rambo will be 17 in 2012 and
• Falcon will turn 15 in 2012
• Greystash turn 3 in 2012

Why I Write

We are soon entering our 15th year of learning at home. There are many other people who had walked many more miles in this journey than I have. I am not blessed with the natural gift of writing, in fact my writing is atrocious at times. But I like to share what the Lord and my life have taught me. Even if no one else reads it, I write in the knowledge that one day my children will read my posts. And I know my husband reads it.

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It’s not as in focus as I’d like… maybe I was too close.

But that’s life.

Sometimes we’re too close to a situation to see the bigger picture.

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I’m posting about Lesson Swaps and Homeschool Bartering over at AussieHomeschool today. Come and join me?

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I do my best to be the wife, the mother, the friend that God wants me to be but I cannot escape the fact that God is The One who holds my future in His hands, despite what I do or don’t do.

When life is peachy, it’s easy to fall for the lie that I must have done something good to cause it to be this way. The flip side of that is that when life is somewhat less than peachy that my actions have been the cause. This is not always true. Sometimes we reap the consequences of our choices and actions. But sometimes bad stuff just happens!

I don’t like the bad or sad times. In fact, I hate them. I wish I didn’t have to bear them. But after they are over, I know that God works through me when I am empty, when I have nothing left. It’s when I am dry, He can fill me up! When I am broken, He picks up the pieces and mends me.

I know that the way to restoration and healing is not a 12 step plan (not dissing plans for health and wealth but it must be noted that they are different to our spiritual condition). Many people read the Scriptures and search for the formula, the prescription. But in doing so, they have missed the point! The Bible isn’t a book of rules, it’s a book about God. It’s HiStory! His Story of Glory!

We may scatter seed and water it, but God alone gives the growth!

In looking around my little world, I see many parents who have diligently taught their children the ways of the Lord from early childhood only to be dismayed when the child grows to adulthood and turns his back on all that he grew up with. Yet, I also have many friends who were raised in atheist homes, being brought up in families that mocked Christianity, yet as adults they have come to know the Lord. Oh the unnecessary guilt and pain that comes from such things when one has trusted in a formula for parenthood! We may wonder what they did wrong as parents or what they failed to do but that is totally missing the point!

Read the Scriptures. Entirely!

Did Jacob do anything to deserve or earn becoming the patriarch of Israel in Genesis 32? And look at the life of Joseph? He may very well of been a downright annoying, smug little brother! Did he deserve to be imprisoned? Then again, did he deserve to be favoured and thus used by God in Genesis 49? Did the Hebrews who crossed the Red Sea deserve deliverance? Were the second and third generation of Israelites any better in Joshua 1? It isn’t about their goodness but in their weaknesses, God displays His glory.

I’m not saying that the Scriptures do not speak of blessings for obedience and some loss for disobedience. They do. But that is not the totality of the Scriptures. God is much bigger, more mysterious than that. Often in life, there is no logical answer for why some things happen. They just happen. It isn’t necessarily the result of an action or non action on our part and to attribute it to such is to fail to give God the glory.

The point I see in Scriptures is not how we are to Do This + That To Get (=) Favour. My future, the future of my children does NOT depend upon me! It depends upon God. Oh, what a relief to all parents! What a relief to me! Now I’m free to live, to love, to serve and glorify God as His child, His slave, without the burden of creating the perfect environment to raise the near-perfect child.

What’s the Bottom line?

Do your best and leave God to the rest. Our hope is in Him. He is the great Healer, the restorer. He is our Saviour, Our Lord and our Master. He is more than capable.

Share His goodness with your children every day. Yes train them, guide them, discipline them. But always be pointing to His goodness, His strength, His power, and His sovereignty. This is the way to teach your children that they are saved by grace, not works.

What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.
~1 Corinthians 3:6-7

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I’ve sensed the change coming. I’ve prepared for it. And now the change is here.  A typical season even has a different atmosphere during the beginning, middle and end of that season. And over the last few weeks we have been in the transition between the end of one season and the beginning of another. Whilst I don’t want to hurry these last few moments of this season I also don’t want to cling to it when the change from one season to another is a necessary part of life.

John and I have observed our son, continually prayed about his needs and decided that it is time. Time where his needs will be best met by going to school.

Long time readers may see how we’ve slowly prepared him for this new season. I’ve known this time was approaching. Our homeschooling approach has changed in preparation for it. We went from unschooling to using ACE paces to being enrolled in Open Access College. School seems like a natural progression for this young man. I know he’s ready because, for the first time ever, he is keen to go and is looking forward to it.

I have a great relationship with my sons. And I want that to continue. However, I was finding it more and more difficult to maintain our relationship whist being his primary educator. We both found it difficult to go from school marm who is dishing out consequences for assignments not turned in to the supportive, cheerleader, mum that I am naturally am. Our relationship was suffering because of it. That is the main reason he studied through OAC. I wanted him to learn valuable skills in the area of time and resource management. Skills that I simply was not able to teach him nor impart to him by myself.

The year at OAC was beneficial in a few ways. I saw how much he needed the structure, the one-one-one direct instruction, the consequences and the constant pushing. I can’t facilitate that at this time, nor have I for the last few years. So going to school is a natural progression – it’s what he needs in order for him to grow, develop and mature. he has had s solid foundation through his years of homeschooling and it’s time for him to have even greater exposure to the world in ways that will benefit him.

Maybe if our lifestyle and family circumstances were different, school wouldn’t be necessary to further his growth and development but it isn’t different. We are who we are. We don’t live on a homestead. We aren’t self employed. My husband doesn’t work flexi hours. We cannot employ our son in our own business. Some can and that’s great. It’s not our life. Rambo needs to learn further skills and develop tools that we simply cannot facilitate.

For Whose Sake?

It’s times like this that I have to remind myself of the real reason we homeschool. I ask myself, “For My Sake or For The Children’s Sake?”. Is this whole homeschool thing for them or for me? Having had one child attend school from Yr 8 onwards I know the painful process of dealing with homeschool mama pride. My life experiences have taught me that homeschooling is for our children, our family, for us. As long as I’m seeking the Lord and we are putting the needs of our children first, then there is no need for me to worry what others will think. and to do so is a form of pride. Time is too precious to waste on that. Been there, done that. Not going back!

Our goals haven’t changed over the years. They are still process oriented, not product oriented:

• Build and maintain relationships
• Develop the character of his heart
• Develop needed learning skills and a love for them

Not all homeschoolers have the same goals so I’ll try to expand on how the above points are our goals and how we used academics and curricula as a tool:

1. Build and maintain relationships
By working with the child, we grow in intimacy. Using curricula as the tool, I will demonstrate love, grace and patience, thereby building trust. Academics are not the sole priority here but I want him to see that he is much more important to me than forging through a workbook.

2. Develop the character of his heart
Through this time I hope to help my child recognise any wrong attitudes and learn how to deal with them, leading him to submission to Christ.

3. Develop needed learning skills and a love for them
I don’t adhere to any standards of school or state. I don’t follow a syllabus that dictates to me when or how I need to proceed with new disciplines or subjects. Rather, the Holy Spirit reveals my child’s needs to me and I trust that He will shape the approach and requirements for each child. I desire that Jesus Christ become Lord over our education, approach, methodology and processes of learning. Academics and education are secondary to that.

The Freshness of Every New Season

And so he is enrolled, has new uniforms and stationary and is excited to start in year 11 at King Grammar Baptist School. Even though I’m not the one going to school I am giddy with excitement too. We had a tour of the school and I had to wipe the drool from John’s mouth when we were in the Design & Technology rooms! Ah, all that guy stuff – the power, the tools, the equipment! It is a new learning experience for all of us but it was our decision to do what we believe is best for our son at this stage in his life. I am excited that I will be able to support him, guide him, have fun with him and all those great parent type activities (including the discipline, at times. I mean he IS a teen boy. Can you imagine the state of his bedroom?) without being his school marm. Yay!

I also have a fresh vision for Falcon’s education for 2012. I am excited to be able to do lots of one-on-one work with him. I’ll share more of that in future posts. Just imagine, going from a full family of 5 children at home to now having one child at home. Whatever will I do with myself?

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It all started when I found myself on the cold, wet tiles of the shower cubicle floor.

Thursday morning started like every other Thursday morning since we’ve been on holidays. A cup of hot tea, my comfy chair, laptop and my man sitting right next to me. After doing the morning rounds on the Internet I jumped up and went to have a shower. I felt a bit light headed but that isn’t new for me, so I ignored it. I rationalised that I’d have a quick rest after my shower. I spent the next hour rationalising.

I didn’t quite make it to the end of my shower. The lightheaded-ness got worse, the walls were moving and the shower room floor cam up to meet me. When I came to, I felt weak and both arms were numb and I had tingly pins and needles running through them – from the shoulders through to the fingers. I tried calling to John but he was too far away and couldn’t hear my weak cries. I yelled but it came out as a pitiful yelp. I tried knocking against the glass shower cubicle but again, I was too weak for it to have any effect. All I could do was with lie on the floor until I regained enough strength to hoist myself up and out of the shower, slowly scrambling for the bed.

John was on the telephone (and as we all do when on the cordless phone, he was) walking around. He came into the bedroom to find me crawling halfway between the bathroom en suite and the bedroom floor, reaching for the bed. He hung up the phone and put me on the bed. I was having difficulty breathing, my arms were tingling, I was lightheaded and had a tennis ball in my chest. He didn’t waste any time and called the ambulance.

After resting on the bed for a few minutes I started to become more aware of where I was and what had happened. I tried telling him I didn’t need an ambulance. Both he and the ambulance telephone operator strongly disagreed. The ambulance was on its way so I should just lay down and shush. There was one huge, glaring problem that they didn’t seem to understand.

I WAS NAKED!

No, I was not dead nor paralysed but I was butt naked. Despite their reassurances and also despite the fact that I was a nurse (before children) this was of great concern to me. So I made myself slowly get dressed. Poor John was on the line with the phone operator telling him to MAKE SURE ‘she stays on the bed‘. He motioned and whispered to me to GET ON THE BED and I hissed with slurred speech through bared teeth the obvious statement… “I. AM. NAKED.”

Fast forward a minute or two and I realised that my teeth were not cleaned! I started to get up to find my toothbrush while John, the-ever-so-gentle tried pushing me down. I hissed at him again, “I need my toothbrush” and he rolled his eyes at me! Can you believe that? My husband rolled his eyes at me. Eventually he realised I was not going to stay still so he got my toothbrush for me.

Problem was …

My toothbrush was naked too! It needed toothpaste. It was about this stage that I realised that my darling, ever-so-patient-husband was actually running short on that quality – patience. There were were, he on the phone trying to talk to the operator whilst growling at me and running for toothpaste while I hissed at him with slurry speech. What a guy! Oh, not to mention the boys were running around not knowing what was happening and of course, as it typical in our house, the mobile phone was ringing right in the middle of the drama.

The paramedics arrived and the ambulance trip was rather uneventful. Everything was in full swing once we reached the Emergency Room and I was hooked up to machines, was poked and prodded with all sizes of needles and all the other excitement that is the ER. I was eventually admitted to the cardiac unit overnight for observation. Apparently I was supposed to rest.

Rest… in Hospital?

Hello? It is common knowledge that no one sleeps well in hospital. In between the hourly obs, the pinging and beeping of all the machines, the lights, the nurses station, the man opposite me who snored so loud I thought I was in a subway tunnel and the elderly lady opposite both of us who spent the night complaining loudly of the man’s snoring, how was anyone supposed to sleep? On top of that, I sleep on my tummy, at least that’s how I go to sleep. I can’t get to sleep in any other position. Yet with needles in me and monitoring cords attached to my chest I could only lay on my back.

I was released the next day with strict orders to go home and rest. Ha-ha, these people obviously have no idea what our family is like. Really. Rest? I’ll admit, it would have been nice but totally unrealistic.

Take Away Value

One very good thing came from this misadventure though. I was feeling at a loss as to Falcon’s academic lessons for this year. I felt like I just didn’t have it in me to go another year. Don’t get me wrong, he is a wonderful student, a fantabulous son and a pleasure to have around. I wondered if being at home with me was the best thing for him. But somehow during the whole drama I developed a new direction, renewed strength and vision for this year. After next year? Who knows? We’ll see when that time comes. But for this year I have the vision … now I just have to put pen to paper and organise some resources. I didn’t have a bolt of lightning from the heavens or anything totally miraculous like that. I just had a peace that this year is to be a season of focusing on Falcon.

I wish I had some profound wisdom to share with you all… a beautiful Scripture or quote. But alas! I do not. I am incredibly thankful to be alive … that I live to take another breath. I am more in love with husband today than I was yesterday. I love all my children and my dad to bits.

I’m here to blog for another day.

Courtesy of Kathryn Estry-Words of Faith

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With Facebook…Why I Left It

I didn’t like the timeline.

I joined Facebook many years ago, when it was first opened to the general public. It was a lot different then. Actually I joined it, couldn’t figure it out so didn’t go back there for another six months. When I went back the second time, my account was still active and this time, I *got it*. I wa active on FB for years, posting this, that and the other. As you do. As much as I like social media I would always keep my eyes open for security and privacy issues.

Why Did They Have To Change?

Being a website developer means I completely understand why websites need to change regularly. I’ve posted on it before. It is usually for the benefit of the end user. But back in late September 2011, when FB announced their new changes I didn’t like what I was hearing. I believe they have an agenda. An agenda that I don’t like the sound of.

I understand the need for change. Yet, the changes that Facebook and Google (Yes, let’s not leave them out of it) make seem to push the settings toward disclosure, not privacy. No wonder we feel like we’re the frog in the pot.

Watching parts of the F8 conference (Yes, I must have too much time on my hands) shocked me. FB are targeting the younger generation, from 13yo upwards. Apparently, my age group is one of the largest demographics already on fb… they want to reach the younger crowd. Enter, the timeline. FB encourages us to build our personal profile, giving us the tools to do so. From birth to the present. That’s a lot of personal data on every user.

Previously when a parent wanted to stalk er, look up their child’s friends or boyfriend we had to scroll down the page, clicking ‘older posts’  to find possible incriminating info. Now, the new Timeline makes user data ridiculously easy to uncover. As a parent, I don’t mind this. But think of the possibilities for hackers, scammers or identity thieves!

They Gave Me Seven Days

I opted to test the timeline feature early so that I could learn about it. The more I played er, tested it, the more I didn’t like it. Oh it’s groovy and cool and neat but it’s a stalker’s playground. When trialling the timeline, FB gave me 7 days before my new timeline would go live. 7 Days to make sure all my previous status updates were set to who I wanted them to be with the new settings. Much easier said than done when one has been active for a few years.

I downloaded all my fb info (profile, status updates, etc) into a zip folder. I unzipped it and had a look. Wow, I didn’t realise exactly how much information I had shared, and I’m usually on top of things like that. There was no way I could go over several years of updates and hide things from the public view in 7 days. It would have taken a month of Sundays and occasionally I like to sleep and shower and eat.

So, I deleted my whole account. No, it was not a hasty decision but one I thought very carefully about. Of course, fb account deletion is not easy (why would it be?) and it takes 2 weeks before it is truly deleted, (if one believes that it is ever truly deleted).

Why I Went Back

I took a few weeks totally away from Facebook and survived (Gasp!). Then I went back to it and rejoined with a different email address and account. I have the timeline again, but with a fresh start. Now I know and expect that Facebook will indeed change their privacy settings. Previously I was ignorant. Now I know that they will… and I’m prepared for it.

Aside from having my website accounts there (AussieHomeschool, Kerugma and The DIY Bible Study) all of my children are on there. Now whilst I don’t need FB in order to keep in touch, (that’s what real life is for) I do like to keep abreast of security and privacy issues and scams so that I can inform them and guide them in using social media responsibly.

Where’s the Loyalty?

Hehee, as an aside, how safe can it be? Even Mark Zuckerberg’s private photo album was hacked and shared. If his private information isn’t safe on his own network, what makes me think that my information is? Facebook has been involved with some dubious practices before. Don’t take my word for it, do your own research.

What You Can Take From It

The Privacy/Tools page is where you can see how your profile looks to the public and see an example of what people see when they look for you using public search engines. Download a copy of everything you’ve put into Facebook, all in one, easy-to-browse file. Go here: facebook.com/about/privacy/tools and download your whole profile. Save it to your desktop. Unzip it. Open the files and browse them. Give it a go. What have you got to lose?

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Anytime your banner becomes anything other than Jesus Christ you ought to be afraid of Hell. If your banner is “I’m a Calvinist”, if your banner is “I’m a homeschooler”, if your banner is this, that, or anything else, if you’re rallying under any other name than Jesus Christ; you’re in danger. You are in danger!
~Paul Washer

I’m a Christian, a homeschooler, a Christian homeschooler. I’m all this and much, much more. But I’m also none of those things. I do not like labels. I don’t like to ‘follow’ or adhere to any particular preaching or teaching. However, for those who really need labels to help define a site or person it might be said that I lean toward a Puritan, Reformed and Calvinistic mindset.  You can see my thoughts here on even calling myself a Christian! Why do we need labels? Why do we feel the need to rally together under any other banner other than Christ?

But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready, for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way? For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not being merely human?

What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God’s fellow workers. You are God’s field, God’s building.
1 Cor 3: 1-9

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