khoj...the musings of the wandering maitreya

Sat, 18 Aug 2012 14:02:00 +0000

I recently decided to quit my work as Principal Consultant, Tech Mahindra Foundation (TMF). The decision was difficult, but I had to make it since amongst other reasons, the work that I was doing lately was not aligned to my core competence - education and child development.

2 years with TMF were full of learning. I worked with wonderful colleagues and met some outstanding change makers and grass-root NGOs. This experience was life enriching and I hope to carry my work forward through the NGO REACHA with greater vigour and intensity.

These 2 years also taught me that if you have done original work in your area of expertise, then you must not compromise beyond a point if your job does not provide you with time and space to further develop/share it for the larger good of the community.

.....I shall add more later......

A child wants 'effort' from parents in order to feel solidarity

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 06:39:00 +0000

Children are always judging caregivers - parents, teachers, coaches and elders - on a minute by minute basis. Often, what they want from us is genuine effort, genuine action in order to feel that they are cared for and supported in their endeavors. An incident highlights this in more ways than one.

In our colony Club the Annual Children Cultural Week 2008 was celebrated in Nov 08. Each day a new competitive event is held...debates, street plays, dance & music, quizzes, dumb charades etc. Children love to win prizes...and at times their parents get over eager in pushing them towards these. This day an incident happened that conveys a very deep meaning for all parents as well as teachers.....the importance of true effort!!

A little girl was taking part in the dance competition. She must have been 9-10 years old. Just as her chance to perform came, her mother like other parents went to the organisers with a cassette of the song she had to dance on. The cassette was played and it got stuck. It was re-played at least 10 times...and each time something went wrong and the child had to stop dancing mid-way. The organisers said it was the parents' responsibility to get a good working CD or a cassette while the parents blamed the music system. All this while the little girl, all nicely dressed up, began to sulk and became heartbroken. She left the stage and took an isolated seat at one corner of the hall. She began sobbing....very gently and quietly. In the meantime, the parents and the organisers mutually came to the agreement that both parties had done their best and perhaps it was the girls misfortune that day.

All this while I watched the goings-on from another seat at the back. And this seat was pretty close to the one where this girl sat. Soon her parents jointed her and convinced her that they all had tried their best and so they had to accept the situation sportingly. The girl got convinced and sat quietly...watching other girls perform. But her cheerfulness had disappeared. She appeared highly un-fulfilled to me sitting one row behind. I kept watching her for about 10 minutes, but finally my patience broke.

I got up and took the parents aside and asked them why we could try getting a new cassette or download the song from the net. Both showed little interest...for them the show over!! This happens in life, one of them reasoned with me. Their daughter had accepted this as a bad day and was now ok.

This was preposterous, I thought. How can they all not see the body language of the child. I asked them if I could talk to her, to which they agreed. Since the girl knew me well....more as a friendly neighbourhood uncle...she readily agreed to give it a second try if a 'good' cassette could be arranged.

The father as well as I got started...he went to the nearby market while I went home to try and download the song. While at home I soon got a call from the father that he was lucky to find a new cassette with the same song.

I had some work at home so reached the Club again in another 30 minutes. By that time the girl had 'successfully' given her performance......this was evidently visible be the hop-skip and jump I saw her doing when I entered the complex. The parents too thanked me for the concern shown.

I felt really happy....there was now a 'closure' in the child's mind...she had done her best!!!! And that's all that kids actually aspire to do....unless parents push them too hard.

The next day the results were pasted at the Club Notice Board.....and guess what!! This girl had got the first position!!!!!!!!

Hope this incident exemplifies the need for GENUINE EFFORT on part of parents. That's all that kids look for.

Nikhil

The importance of 'owning up'

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 03:16:00 +0000

We all make mistakes in our daily lives. Children need to be encouraged to accept without fear if they have committed a mistake or an error. This implies 'owning up' and raising your hand to say that I was the one who 'did it.' To illustrate how we need to encourage this I am compelled to narrate an incident from my school. This episode is another one in my quest for 'truth' as I spend my time with children and hope to instill in them virtues of honesty, truthfulness, accountability and fairness.

I was taking my Physics practical class with students of Class IX. This happened about a fortnight ago. We had 2 periods in the lab. Each lab table had some equipment meant for the next class...i.e Class XII. So I told all my students not to fiddle with the apparatus. Saying this I kept the class busy with lab work meant for them. After two periods the bell rang for the tiffin break and all students left the lab. At the end, as I made a quick recce of all the tables just to ensure nothing went amiss, I noticed one of the convex lenses in one of the tables missing. Looking around I immediately realised that this lens had been broken as I saw glass pieces on the floor.

Later in the day I gave the lab keys to our lab incharge ma'am and told her that one of the lenses had been broken by my students. I paid her Rs. 50 as damages and promised her to identify those responsible.

The same day I had my 8th period Physics with Class IX B. I knew it was 5 odd students from this class who were the culprits.....but the challenge now was to have them own up. This was the toughest part, I knew. I announced in the class what I had discovered and requested those responsible to confess...separately to me in my room. If they did this, I promised I would not tell anyone about them. Children fear peer ostracism. They cannot tolerate being looked down upon by friends. So the best way to make them own up is in isolation. I gave this class 2 days to sort out the issue.

The next two days I waited.....and waited!! Nothing happened and nobody came forward. Third day was the Physics paper...and I had some important questions to discuss in the class. I thought this was my best chance. So, I tried this too....saying that only if by the end of the day those responsible owned up, I will discuss these questions regarding my paper. I gave them 1.45pm as the cut-off time....school gives over at 1.55pm.

The school watch struck 1.50 pm and nobody turned up in my room. Instead, some other children came to me and pleaded...."Sir, what wrong have we done? Why should all others get penalised? Please help us?"

This left me with no options.....and I went to the class and explained the important questions in the last minutes of the day. All children were happy as they left for home...but my worries kept multiplying. My search for truth had hit a road-block....and I was feeling pretty much lost.

As I drove back home that evening this whole episode kept my mind ticking. I had to find a way to get the culprits to own up...and now it will have to be in public!! They deserved nothing less, I convinced myself. Next morning as I woke up and was brushing my teeth an idea struch me. This had to succeed, I told myself.

Class IX B Physics was the 4th period today...time 10.20am to 11am. 11am to 11.30am was to be the lunch break...and I went for the jugular!! As I entered the class, only a few children got up to wish the teacher...and this gave me the excuse to kick-start implementation of the idea.

I asked everybody to stand up...the whole period. This was just part of the deal, I said. This standing will continue till 11.30am...till the break ends. All tiffins were to be collected and placed on my table. Nobody would sit...eat...or go out for the break, I announced with a tinge of glee in my eyes. Being the captain of this 'sinking ship' I said I too will stand and not eat today. But I gave the class, once again, a loop hole...a way out. If the culprits owned up by 10.55am all punishment will stand cancelled. However, these guys will now have to own up in front of the whole class...since they missed their chance earlier in the week.

The clock ticked passed 10.55am and once again nothing happened. At 11am the break bell rang...and I opened the class door. Kids ran out of the other classes, as is their wont. Lots of noise all around...lots of kids eating all around!! This was going to be make or break for my strategy, I thought nervously.

11.10am.....still no result. Some children began to get fidgity. Some stated pleading...;like the day earlier. But I was not going to have any of it. The plan had to go the whole hog...and I was determined.

11.115am....no result again...!!

...... But now I saw 2-3 children discussing something in one corner of the class. I crossed my fingers...was this the moment!

.....11.17am.....4 children came out and pleaded guilty. They had tears in their eyes, some remorse and a lot of guilt. I asked them...why so late?? What compelled them not to 'own up.' Were they so scared of me that they thought I would report the matter to the Principal? I asked them all these questions and they answered...they answered all my questions in front of the whole class. I assured them right at the beginning that there was nothing to fear. We all make mistakes...but a bigger mistake is not to own up at all. I told them that we all...and that included me...will share the cost of the broken lens. I was also responsible, being the instructor in the class where the incident happened. This surprised the whole class, but I insisted...it was a matter of my ethics and they must respect them.

Well, this was one heck of an incident.....so I thought to 'blog it' as part of my eternal quest. Unless we own up...unless we get kids to own up,...unless we remove the element of fear from the child's mind & heart no education can succeed. A child must know that committing something wrong intentionally or un-intentionally needs to be 'owned up.' This instills responsibilty and accountability in a child.....firm attributes for a responsible citizen later on in life.

Nikhil

The Mumbai Carnage.....will it change anything??

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 13:13:00 +0000

Am back to blogging after almost 60 days. Reasons have been many...most importatly its been grass-roots' action .....all the time....that has kept me away from the keyboard. Check out the latest on www.reacha.org and www.samvedna.wikidot.com

I feel the only way this tragedy can wake us out of our slumbers to make any meaningful change in the country is through ACTION. But, somehow as a nation we are always so eager just to keep talking. This is my gravest concern.

A Karma Yogi is incessantly engaged in meaningful action. He has little time for debates and discussions. You can either debate or do work on the ground. You could most definitely debate to explore the best line of action in order to achieve an objective. But once this is defined the only way forward has to be action.

It is only selfless action that can make a sustainable difference around us. When I say selfless I mean action with passion, with a zeal that goes beyond mere calculations about results, about money, about success. Such action is driven by a divine motive - TO DO GOOD!!

Specifics of this action need to be worked out by people and organisations in the aftymath of this mayhem as per their respective functions. A school teacher has to inspire action in her students in terms of reaching out to their neighbours with the spirit of 'love thy neighbour.' Jesus perhaps foresaw this more than 2000 years ago....that family and neighbourhoods will begin to break apart. And so he preached about the 'larger family.' The Hindu tradition talks about the whole world being a family - vasudev kutumbakum and atithi devo bhava - the guest is like god...take care of him and feel blessed. Islam preaches brotherhood of man - sadly, a far cry from what many of its youngsters are practising today.

At times I feel Islam is going through the same crisis today that Hinduism went in the early part of the AD period. That was when Gautam Buddha came along and Buddhism became widespread. It was later left to Adi Shankara to revive Hinduism with his all encompassing philosophy of advaita.

Does Islam have such a saviour or rather revivor? Even more importantly, do Muslims really feel that there is any need to reform at all. Reform in terms of better health & education for its followers the world over. Perhaps, the Muslim who begins the march on this path would be their most likely modern day Prophet.

I sincerely hope there is this guy somewhere who begins to walk very soon.....for I will be the first to join hands with him. There are many Muslims who are close friends, associates as well as colleagues. I urjge them to take the initiative.....the task of walkinging the path of EDUCATION.

Signing off

Nikhil

Can serious, organised sport training lead to better academic performance?

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:57:00 +0000

Yes, it sure can.

Kids who play regular organised sport also begin to 'organise' their lives better. To them time management comes naturally...for they know that even a minute lost frivilously will harm their cause no end. Gradually, they begin to realise the value of genuine focused effort, for they experience how a match played with great intensity gives them a real 'high.' This is very much like doing math or science with great focus.

Parents must be encouraged to understand that regular and daily sport helps the growing mind & body develop optimally. Exam time should not prevent their child from playing...we need to pass the message that life's challenges must not prevent us from doing good stuff.

A child who plays regular organised sport enjoys to experiment with truth in life too. Attempting to do a math question differently is just like attempting to hit a shot in squash in ones own unique style. Perfection and mastery in both lead to similar results - a correct answer in math and a good shot in squash. Regular and disciplined math & squash practice are so very much alike. Both demand focus, concentration, discipline and a great regard for ones master - the teacher or the coach.

Life Skills learnt through sport are lifelong. These are never forgotton. Inculcation of a sportsman spirit - being humble in victory and optimistic in defeat serve us forever. Even as we grow old the passion to keep playing keeps us fit and healthy...as also mentally alert and young.

So, to parents I say......keep your kid on her toes....and see how she loves to study as well!!

The joy of catching up with 'real' friends

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 02:54:00 +0000

The last year or so has been one great journey for me......catching up with a couple of my real good friends - batchmates to be precise. The joy I have felt is immense, and so thought to write it up on the blog.

Investments we all know make sound logic. Most financial guru's tell us to keep doing it in order to give ourselves and our families reasonable security in life. Most of us heed this advice and proceed accordingly. But how many of us attempt to diversify the meaning of 'investment' beyond the tangibles? My guess is as good as yours.....very few!!

A true friend is undoubledly a rare 'commodity,' if I may use this term. In today's world making genuine friends and sustaining friendships is extremely difficult. Time comes at a premium...and one of the first to get sacrificed at its alter is friendship.

My experience since last year has been simply out of this world. Firstly, I caught up with my dear friend Anand in New York and then this year with Muneesh in Delhi. Both have been like brothers to me. So 're-discovering' them was like being born again! As we embraced on meeting it felt like holding an extension of my own body...and mind.

Old memories came streaming back into our minds. We began to feel young once again. The revival acted like tonic...a soothing balm. We now want to meet up again and again as much as possible.

But to make it all happen its important to take out time and make the extra effort to catch up. There will always be an excuse to put off such occasions. Don't let them slip by, friends!! You don't know how much this 'investment' will 'pay you' in the long run. Don't just rely on e-mails and chat and SMS. These give only a superficial effect.

Nothing can replace real body language...the energising vibrations can only be felt in physical presence and not through cyber-space.

So, do explore ways and means to 'catch up.' You don't realise the 'wealth' you are missing on by simplying denying it to yourself.

The urge to cheat!

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 04:16:00 +0000

As I see kids do their exams as part of their schooling, I am amazed at the urge they display to copy from their neighbour. The methods they adopt are extremely creative and deceptive. Sometimes I wonder what great works might be achieved if the same creativity was put to doing something more useful.

The desire to succeed is intense. Parents, teachers, students alike cannot stop focussing on marks. The quantification of success in education appears to be at its peak. The craving for marks in school, high salaries in jobs and victory in sport I feel has taken away much of life's joy. This I say because each one appears so hell bent on achieving all these that they fail to realise that there is much more in life beyond.

With the internet age at its prime the world has already become 'flat.' This implies that each individual in the world today can create a place for himself...even by scoring less marks, getting low wages and failing to win in sport. This can happen in many ways.

A child good in art must be encouraged to draw and paint. Parents and teachers must explore ways to give a voice and an expression to this talent. Experience tells me that when this happens the child begins to gain confidence. This often leads to better performance in academics. And this reduces the urge to cheat...not just in school but elsewhere in life too. The art produced may be uploaded to online art galleries at minimal cost. Someday, it might begin to sell. This may happen years later, when the child has grown into an adult and is doing a job. As takers for this art increase in numbers the individual has a 'choice.' An option to perhaps switch over full-time as an artist once there is enough confidence that it will sustain.

This might eventually lead the individual to 'live his true calling in life.' The day this happens a new birth takes place...the birth of a person who finds meaning in life...a sense of purpose!

This too shall pass...!!

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 06:44:00 +0000

This phrase is displayed in a drawing room cabinet of one of my neighbours here in Delhi. On reading it I felt a sense of calm. But this happened only after I had dwelt over it for sometime.

Each moment of our life is filled with some action, some thought, some desire, some anger....and the list goes on. Very often we tend to cling on to one or the other emotion or thought that crosses our mind. But time moves on...never repeating the same moment again.

Could it not be a great way to always be at peace with oneself if we are able to live each moment of our lives to the full...with a feeling that this moment shall never return. Weather this moment is one of victory or defeat, joy or sorrow, calm or anger... we can still 'live it.'

'This too shall pass' reminds us not to make too much out of any given situation. Over-excitement in victory and extreme dejection in defeat are common reactions we witness in our country.

Perhaps, we need to train our kids to 'live the moment' even while they are in school. And this can happen only when we begin to give less credence to marks...and later to money and salary in jobs.

I, Me, Myself! Is there any looking beyond this barrier?

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 04:23:00 +0000

Often we see how people 'manage' systems to benefit themselves, their children or their spouses. In the process they not only set an example of misusing their 'power' or 'position' but also send highly 'toxic' vibrations into the community. These signals are so malicious that theyhave the capacity to weaken institutions...and even destroy them eventually.

The individuals propogating such vibes on most occasions are so absorbed in the 'self' or the 'ego' that they simply fail to understand that by doing this action they are actually becoming the biggest enemy of their own self. This I say because the child for whom the system is being 'managed' will never realise that true happiness can only be achieved by sheer hard work and honesty. The distoring of the system prevents the child from getting the opportunity to rise to his or her true potential. I have a few examples to quote...

Children whose parents are also their teachers, coaches or trainers often can become 'victims' of this syndrome. If the parent remains a parent within the class or on the play-field then chances are that the child will 'suffer.' A boy might win a match due to a 'fixed draw' prepared by this parent who is also a tournament manager...but he is actually a 'loser' in life. The blinded 'I, Me, Myself' parent fails to understand that the real world will eventually catch up on his boy. And when that happens the child would only be pointing fingers.

So, is there a way out? Sure is. Self-Awareness. How? Each individual needs to be given the opportunity to become self aware right from childhood. This can be done by various means...the child needs to be encouraged to observe his mind...how the mind reacts to stimuli...how it feels in victory, and in defeat. Can the child be encouraged to shake hands with his opponent even after losing a match? Does he enjoy sharing his stuff? Why he likes some children and not the others? What does he like most in his parents?....and so on. As the mind observes itself through these situations, self awareness gradually evolves. This, however, is a very very slow process...time-consuming...and endless.

As the child grows older and evolves, self awareness teaches him that to give and share is the only way forward. He then begins to identify the 'self,' the 'ego' with all that exists beyond. It is then that he begins to create systems or becomes part of institutions that work towards uprightness and integrity.

The Life Skill of Self Awareness needs to be inculcated right from childhood. For those who have missed the bus the effort needed is much more...perhaps impossible!!

Core Life Skills for all

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 03:57:00 +0000

Life Skills education is today recognised as the most critical input for a child's development. All care-givers...parents, teachers, trainers and coaches need to ensure that as children grow and develop they acquire COPING SKILLS. By coping skills I mean the ability to face life's situations...stress, competition, victory & defeat, family tensions, social strife etc...in the most apt way to be able to come out stronger. These skills are:

CORE LIFE SKILLS:

Self awareness
Empathy
Critical thinking
Creative thinking
Decision making
Problem solving
Effective communication
Inter-personal relationship
Coping with stress
Coping with emotions

Every child possesses an inherent aptitude & talent that needs an expression. Caregivers must therefore seek to provide appropriate platforms for this aspect of the child's personality to be heard. These forums should instill the Core Life Skills as part of a larger process of identifying the hidden potential in children.

In the next few updates I shall elaborate on each of these skills in more detail...giving examples from real life situations. These inputs I am sure will add more value to the efforts in child development already in process.

Perhaps the best part about Life Skills Education is that care-givers too acquire the necessary skills to cope with life's vagiaries. Many may be experts in their own way...but the process of getting involved with kids in this way will surely make them even more skilled.

Education for all.....will it remain just a dream?

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 07:01:00 +0000

Have thought a lot about this. Kids from very poor families in India just don't get the opportunity to go to school...and remain enrolled for long. Drop-out rates are high...the need for the child to contribute to the poor family's income soon catches up and the child drop's out.

I am suggesting a method which I developed while working as a Civil Engineer on a construction site almost 15 years ago....The concept of VIDYA-SHAKTI School. I have modified the concept through time based on experience and trial at the grass-roots. Here goes....

CAMP SCHOOLS AT CONSTRUCTION SITES - ‘VIDYA-SHAKTI’

India is a country of more than one billion people. A large percentage of this population is illiterate. Many poor people in the country make a living by using their labor capital - as agriculture labour or construction labour. The children of these labourers get very little opportunity to become literate. Their parents keep migrating from one place to another in search of their daily wages. Once they grow up, they too become labourers. In this way, the cycle of illiteracy and poverty keeps repeating itself year after year.

REACHA, AN NGO (www.reacha.org) registered under the Societies Registration Act 1860, has worked extensively in the field of formal and non-formal education in India since 1992. We strongly feel that the problems of poverty, illiteracy and population explosion that are adversely affecting development of our country can be tackled by focusing our efforts at providing meaningful non-formal education to such migratory child populations. This can be achieved by setting up camp schools called ‘VIDYA-SHAKTI’ at each construction site as per the following broad guideline:

1. VIDYA-SHAKTI School to have a crèche to provide support to children of age group 0-6 years.

2. VIDYA-SHAKTI School to impart non-formal education/ literacy (Reading, Writing and Arithmetic) to children of age group 6-14 years.

3. A local registered NGO to closely monitor the functioning of each VIDYA-SHAKTI.

4. The cost of running each VIDYA-SHAKTI school to be included in the project cost. This cost should include resources made available to the local NGO for monitoring the school functioning.

5. Teachers for VIDYA-SHAKTI to be appointed by the local NGO.

6. Each child to be given a VIDYA-CARD (V-CARD). The V-CARD should contain the child’s photo, basic bio-data, basic health parameters and the level of literacy acquired till date.

7. This V-CARD will be carried by each child from one site to another so that continuity is maintained and the literacy imparted at each new VIDYA-SHAKTI School acquires a certain level of consistency.

8. If this V-CARD is maintained properly y by successive local NGO’s, then each child might be able to complete school education to a reasonably satisfactory level. Here, The National Open School (NOS) can play a vital role.

9. Quarterly Reports on the running of VIDYA-SHAKTI/ Students performance/ development to be prepared by the NGO and submitted to the agency funding the project, so that the same is audited by their Chartered Accountant and forms part of the Income Tax documents submitted to the IT department at the end of the financial year.

I feel that if one successful model of a camp VIDYA-SHAKTI School is made functional for a year, a Public Interest Litigation (PIL) can be filed in the Supreme Court Of India so that it may decree for such VIDYA-SHAKTI Schools to be setup at every construction site. This might herald a new era in our quest to ‘enable’ and ‘empower’ the poorest of the poor in the country through the power of knowledge. The ‘Knowledge Age’ would be the surest precursor to a developed India.

Reasons to smile...!!

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 00:17:00 +0000

Posting after almost 2 months. There have been reasons.....

* Have been part of a unique Squash Development Programme in Delhi Schools. Check out http://maitreya.wikidot.com/squash-development-programme. Currently the programme is taking the game to 90 school kids in Delhi. This was one of my long cherished dreams...taking the great game of Squash Rackets to the grass-roots. Humble beginnings have been made.
* Was extremely tense about India's performance at the Beijing Olympics. Since childhood I have watched our sportsmen return from Games one after another with their heads bowed...in despondency. Often I cried. It made me feel very sad since sports has been my greatest passion all along. I wondered when we will make a mark at the Olympics. Well, after yesterdays performance...we now have Abhinav, Sushil & Vijender winning us medals....the likes of me can smile this time round for a change.

The above two points represent 2 critical aspects of sport development....grass-roots with school kids...and the other...championship play and performance. Both have to go hand in hand. Taking sports to the masses means investment in good public health too.....especially when we work to popularise 'life-style' sports like Squash. By life-style sport I mean sports that can easily plug into our lifestyles as we grow and mature. Not every kid who plays a sport adopts it as a career. Most pursue other vocations in life...for one reason or another. It is critical for these individuals to keep playing games all their lives....simply for good health and fitness. Thus, promoting and popularizing such sports is critical for care-givers like us who work day in and day out with kids.

For the few who adopt sports as a career this Olympic success means a lot.....many times over!! I now sincerely hope that sports authorities in India as well as the Indian Corporate sector stand up and begin to support sports besides cricket.

Am keeping my fingers crossed for both aspects mentioned above...grass-roots as well as championship play!!!

Cya!!

The other side of the story

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 05:40:00 +0000

Fig 1

Fig 2

Fig 3

Fig 4

The search for truth goes on....and I must thank my Sony Erickson P1i for turning out to be an able ally in this process. The following pictures tell their own story.....

Fig 1. Street kids of Delhi sorting out empty mineral water bottles on platform no.12, New Delhi Station. On inquiry they told me that these sell for Rs 18 per kg at the end of each day. The money earned helps them feed themselves. Some said they give it to a bhaiyya (an elder) who collects it on their behalf.

Fig 2. On the same platform this old destitute lady....sleeping as if in conversation with 'death.' The ubiquitous mineral water bottle is half full. She could not have possibly bought it. The water she drinks perhaps comes from an unknown unhygienic source. The platform is her bed. Is there anything still unsaid......?

Fig 3. The cobblers on platform no. 1, Mumbai VT Railway Station. Catching a nap as they earn their bread. The PET bottle remains a constant! They sleep in the most uncomfortable position even as life moves around them at breath-taking pace. No one steals their wares.....there seems to be a silent 'faith' pervading.

Fig 4. The amazing photographer at Gateway of India, Mumbai. He simply refused to accept the fury of the rains...........here he takes a print-out of our snap right in the middle of a thunderstorm. All for a living. Not a drop of rain fell on the portable Epson printer.....the positioning of his umbrella was so deft that it just took my breath away. Mine flew off my hand.....had to run after it while his remained stuck between the shoulder and the neck!!

The indomitable human spirit to survive comes across vividly through these images. Those better off......... materially, emotionally etc......perhaps need to see how fortunate they are. Can they use their resources for 'reaching out and making a difference' in their own way....?

Also, common to all these is the presence of water....the elixir of life. Perhaps, a better and more organised management of this resource by all of us could lighten the burden of survival from some of these shoulders.

Cheers!

Nikhil

How parents can get it wrong at times

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 04:19:00 +0000

The Noida Junior Squash Tournament 2008 was on during the weekend of 12 April 08. Lots of kids were in high spirits...doing their best to win matches. Parents were in tow, cheering them to do well.

Children have a tendency to observe their parents for approval, encouragement and support while performing action. So these kids would look at their guardians every time they won points...and more when they lost a point or a game. The reaction of parents was worth noting...and I made some observations which need to be discussed.

All parents wanted their kids to win...nothing wrong with that. But in the process of trying to win most of them missed the point when they went overboard in cheering their kids. A parent took up a fight against the referee...his son was playing extremely well against a very tough opponent. A few 50-50 points went against his son. The son looked towards him each time with an air of despondency as if saying that the whole world was ganging up against him.

All this made the father go into hyper mode. He demanded that the referee be changed... but that was promptly turned down by the tournament organisers. He then created a hue and cry and also blamed the organisers that his sons opponent was over-age. That too did not gel with the organisers. By this time the match was over...and his son had lost in straight sets.

The boy came out...weeping his heart out. His father took him in his arms and consoled him... explaining how 'cheating' had been done against him and that he was a better player any day.

All this while I watched the drama in utter amazement. The whole episode was a classic case of the glass half full or half empty. The father simply failed to see that his son (much younger in age) had given a spirited fight to the top seed. The sense of being wronged overtook everything else...and all of this got transferred to the son.

A great performance had been brought to its knees and marred by an immature parent. What a shame, I thought. If only the parent could see the victory in his sons defeat. The victory of a fighting performance by the underdog; the victory of how ability and will power can transcend age barriers and most importantly the victory of the birth of self-belief in a little kid that he can do it despite all odds.

Alas! If only the father had other work to do that Saturday afternoon.

Principles of Maitreya

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 03:37:00 +0000

Maitreya implies friendliness. An individual imbued with maitreya is always on the lookout to reach out. In todays world when people have little time at hand, the attribute of maitreya comes at a premium. However, it has been my experience that it is worth the effort to practice maitreya in our daily life. Its practice generates a Non-Monetized Fixed Deposit (NMFD) of good-will in the community. This NMFD grows exponentially through time and space, and has within itself the power to transform people and situations beyond ones imagination.

However, the power of maitreya and its results can only be felt and experienced through sustained practice. For this reason I have developed some basic Principles of Maitreya as part of my community interactions. Many of these are inspired by children since friendliness comes naturally to them.

Do try and practice these...and reap the rewards!!

Smile - be the first one to give a smile. It will take you a mile.
Thank – thank people promptly. It will motivate others to keep doing good.
Appreciate – when you observe something worthwhile. You will rise in the estimation of others and make their day.
Wish/greet – when you see/meet someone. You will connect immediately.
Apologise – when you commit a mistake. It will make you feel very light and unburdened.
Enquire – about the health and well being of others. They will feel cared for and wanted.
Help generously – This will increase peoples’ faith in good will.
Forgive – mistakes as soon as possible and unburden others.
Names – try to remember them. People will admire you.
Friends – take that extra step to remain in touch. A true friend is more precious than gold.

Can we give eternal gifts to children?

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 12:48:00 +0000

I wrote this poem about 4 years ago during a vacation to Udaipur in Rajasthan (India). Gifts for children are always associated with excitement, surprise, adventure and fun. I have often contemplated about the nature of these gifts...can they have a deeper meaning for our children, for example. This lead me to collate this brief poem which I intend to share today.

‘A Gift for my Son’

I want to gift my son………

A canvas to paint his dreams

A pen to write his diary

A camera to click his perspective

A racket to develop sportsman spirit

A rucksack to explore the mystery of the hills

A book to experience true companionship

A football to discover the joy of skillfully dribbling past opponents

A pair of skates to master the art of balance

A bicycle to ride through the maze without falling

A mountaineering kit to learn how to take calculated risks

A seed to nurture, and experience the ‘law of the harvest’

My time, so that he knows me more than I knew my father

My trustworthiness, so he knows I am there when he needs me most

My patience, so that when he under performs, I can sit with him and take stock

And chalk out a strategy for improvement in consultation with him

I hope these gifts open out the world for him under the sun

He is such a cute little kid, my son.

Rich urban kids...spoilt for choices!!

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 12:06:00 +0000

One of the major challenges of parenting urban kids today is that they are spoilt for choices...they seem to get too much of material comfort by default...and so get very little opportunity to experience the 'true value' of things. This often alienates them from the stark realities of life. Government school children in India represent the most deprived sections of our population...they are the ones who really need our support and guidance in whatever way possible.

Parents today need to strike a conscious balance between what is good for such children and what they can afford materially for them. The concept of 'deserving' needs to be also inculcated at a young age in order to prevent alienation from life's realities to set in.

A good and practical way to do this is the learning-by-doing approach...taking children on visits to places where they see, experience and learn how fortunate they are in terms of the opportunities that are there for them. When a street kid comes over to our car window begging for food or pleading to sell a book, we need to talk to our children and explain what this is all about. It is also a good idea to 'do good' simultaneously while talking to our children. Carrying some eatables in the car often comes handy...these can be easily passed on to the child at the window every now and then. Old clothes can also help us 'reach out' in such situations.

Children learn best through 'live examples.' So, never waste an opportunity to send an everlasting message to your child.

Doing good to society and planting a 'seed' in your child's heart and mind can go hand in hand. Always be open and alert about such opoortunities to give life's gifts' to your children, kids in the neighbourhood and elsewhere too.

Khoj - Launching in Academic Session 2008-09

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 03:54:00 +0000

Dear Khoj members,

A very warm welcome to the onlineKHOJ community. We are getting started from April 08 as follows:

Please check out our wiki site www.maitreya.wikidot.com to start with. Spend some time browsing it. Give special attention to:

'Khoj...the search' ............http://maitreya.wikidot.com/khoj-the-search
'Khoj Resources and Quizzes'.........http://maitreya.wikidot.com/khoj-resources-and-quizzes
'Parent - Teacher toolkit' .............http://maitreya.wikidot.com/parent-teacher-toolkit
'Upload your Projects'............http://maitreya.wikidot.com/upload-your-projects
'Memberships'...............http://maitreya.wikidot.com/memberships
'Forums'..................http://maitreya.wikidot.com/forums
'My Blog'.........http://maitreya4all.blogspot.com/

Spend a little more time on 'Khoj Resources and Quizzes.' We have uploaded Khoj for Jan 08 (a sample), Feb 08 (on Vanishing Vultures) and March/April 08 (on Climate Change). These are the 'Themes' we will be taking up each month. Kindly use the one on Vanishing Vultures and Climate Change as web resources for adding value to your class-room teaching. You may use it to make simple, mind-igniting Multiple Choice Questions (MCQ's); excite children to develop projects on these themes or simply ask them to use these for evolving summer vacation 08 projects. I will be adding more info on each of these Themes every now and then.
Each month will have a new Theme....like Energy/Water Conservation, Wealth from Waste, Traffic Management, Disaster Management etc. We will look forward to suggestions for more themes from our member schools/students/parents/e-volunteers. These need to be 'action oriented' and based on the 'needs' of our society, mother earth etc.
Whatever you do...Khoj MCQ Quizzes (we are also preparing these with the assistance of college students through e-volunteering; these will be uploaded every now and then...an e-mail update will be sent to all members whenever that happens), Projects, Field Visits etc...do e-mail us Reports, photographs, videos every month...or as frequently as you can. We shall upload them at 'Upload your Projects' on the site.
Every now and then we will visit your campus to conduct 'Live Khoj' Sessions. A bit of your assistance may be required to organise these sessions. But, you see....Where there is a will, there is a way!!
Do refer us to more Schools...we want this community to grow!! They can simply send me a mail or call me up at +91 9811447613 for Membership Forms etc. Do tell them that there is no fee involved.

I personally look forward to being in touch with all of you. Do mail me back for any clarifications.

Children who dont want to eat healthy food...a way out...

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 03:28:00 +0000

The other day I had a session with parents of Classes I and II. It was very interactive and fruitful. The next day one of these parents wrote me a mail expressiong concern that his daughter does not eat any health food. She is very active but will not eat green veggies, daal etc, he wrote. I mailed him back my response...and thought to share it with a wider audience here.

Hi Pankaj,

Nice to know you liked the session.

Regarding Diksha...one thing is good that she is an active child. All paediatricians will tell you not to worry as long as the child is active and loves to play. My son Mudit too had a similar problem...infact, he still does not eat much. But a few things have helped. Let me share them with you:

Since we put him into serious sports at the age of 7 years...he undergoes regular coaching in Squash at Siri Fort...his desire to eat and become stronger has increased a lot. Often he tells him mummy to make sprouts and dalia for him.
When he plays with other kids on the court and is convinced that others are physically stronger than him...he wants to know how he too can be strong.
He then seeks advice from his coach...who tells him about healthy food etc.
He then watches me eat milk-dalia daily in the morning...and then sees how I bi-cycle/jog for an hour each day in the evening. That makes him ask me questions like...papa how are you able to do this?
When I tell him the relation between my daily dalia eating and my fitness regime he begins to get convinced.
He then tries this on himself...you see a child 'believes' once the 'associations' get established in his mind.

So, the process is slow...but sustainable. As parents you will have to set the right example at home too...healthy eating, physical fitness, reading habits etc. At times...do have 'eat-outs' and freak out with her on her favourite food/junk etc. But never forget to keep the 'balance.'

Hope this works for you. Do keep mailing me your feedbacks.

Regards

Nikhil

I hope this provides a way for anxious parents to try out...I await your feedbacks as usual!!

Squash Development.....hope it succeeds!!

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Have been part of the conceptualization process of a very interesting Squash Development Programme (SDP) - for school children in Delhi. Part of this discussion have been Dr. B.I.Singh, Head, Sports Medicine, Fortis Hospital, Vasant Kunj, Ritwik Bhattacharya (5 times National Squash Champion) and Raj Arora, who trains and collaborates with Ritwik.

We have called our association as TeamSquash...and are keen to have the Delhi Development Authority (DDA) also on board.

Click the heading above to see a presentation of the programme.

Nikhil

'Sunday Soccer' with kids at the 'Maitreya ki Paath-shaala'

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 05:55:00 +0000

Had a great time with kids in the colony today morning. Soccer is a great game...perhaps the most simple as well as most comprehensive in terms of developing a child! The development of co-ordination skills in children is very important. A game like soccer is very easy to play...just about anywhere...but the skills required evolve over a period of time. As a child dribbles through a maze of defenders his brain is made to work at a very fast pace...like a super computer! This trains the mind...and if done consistently under parental/coach supervision it can do wonders. My Maitreya Club has initiated the Sunday Soccer League with the colony kids in order to help initiate this process. I hope parents will participate in the process in true sportsman's spirit.

Nikhil

School suicides...a cause for grave concern and shame

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 03:13:00 +0000

We keep hearing about students in school committing suicide. It has bothered me intensely, and I have spent considerable time interacting with my parents as well as students seeking to understand why this situation precipitates in a child's life.

A student of 15 to 18 years has hardly seen life...so getting the idea of taking ones life is a grave indictment on the whole society...and this includes parents, teachers, school systems, relatives, neighbours and peers.

To believe, in desperation, that this is the only way out only goes to show that all channels of redress have been exhausted by the victim.

Is there a way out?

We must first understand why this is happening repeatedly...ever so frequently. Are we doing anything to prevent it? Or are we just waiting for the next child to become a victim?

In my perception there are various factors contributing to this tragic situation:

The Orphaned Urban Child phenomena...I wrote about it my last post. Such children desperately miss their parents...and are often unable to express this feeling. Parents, on the other hand are so tied up in their rush hour life that they become incapable of observing this 'want' in their child. One can understand the level of communication gap that exists in such families. The only way out is greater interactivity between family members and the children. This needs to be in the form of 'real' activity rather than mere watching of TV and movies together. Playing sport together regularly is a great way to 'log-in' into the child's heart and mind. Kids love to play...they love it even more if parents can join their respective teams and play in the dirt with them. Traveling together and visiting new unexplored places is another great way to bridge the gap. Parents need to find enriching, interactive activities in consultation with their children...only then will the real synergy evolve.
School systems without in-depth counseling support mechanisms are often found wanting in understanding this need of the troubled child. It is imperative that Class Teachers and Subject Teachers report the matter to the Counselor as well as the parents as soon as they observe signs of despondency, anxiety and desperation in any child. For this to happen the school faculty needs to be appropriately sensitised and trained. One must understand that early detection and prompt remedial action is the surest way to prevent the child from entering the vicious loop.
Peer pressure and a desire to succeed at any cost gradually builds up expectations...in the child as well as the parents. One needs to handle this with great maturity. Firstly, the definition of success and happiness should be discussed within the family in some detail. Parents must convey to the child that they actually love him/her and not just the success. Success and failure are two sides of the same coin...parents must say to their child...if you succeed we will celebrate... and if you fail then too we will celebrate...we will celebrate the hard work work put in! So, lets work hard...with honesty, integrity and discipline. Results are bound to follow...slowly but surely. Also, success needs to be discussed and defined. I tell my students that as far as I am concerned success means a successful attempt. That is all that I am looking for.
Creating a vibrant neighbourhood I feel is another great way to ensure that kids play and grow together. But for this to happen parents must learn from children...try to reach out to your neighbours and give a helping hand every now and then. At times sense a need and pro-actively assist. You will find that if the neighbourhod is 'connected' everybody feels elated and genuine harmony is generated all around. However, this one is a real tough challenge considering the 'individualistic' times that we are living in.

Well, these were some of my observations on student suicides. I have keyed them based on my experience on the ground...I hope my friends will correct me wherever I have slipped!!

Nikhil

The phenomena of the Orphaned Urban Child (OUC)

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:09:00 +0000

The other day I was doing invigilation duty at the CBSE Class XII Board Exams in my school in Delhi. It was around 10am, and the students had started coming into the room and taking their place. Things were pretty much quiet up until one girl from one of the participating schools reached her desk and yelled," How can I sit on this desk? Its too small and just not upto the standard!" Her exclamation surprised me as it did some of the other students from her own school who were occupying desks similar to this one. I took a minute to gather my thoughts and then asked her what needed to be done. Pointing to another desk in the next row she said that that one was much better suited to her. She wanted me to let her sit there and ask the student from that desk to occupy this one.

I had to tell her that this was not possible since each desk was numbered sequentially as per students' roll numbers. A shift was out of the question. This did not satisfy her...so I asked her why she thought that the desk which was not fit for her would be fine for the other student. To this she had no reply...so I asked her how about a cricketer going to a foreign land to play a match reacting the way she did...what would happen if this guy were to say that the cricket pitch was not fit for him...and so the venue must be changed...the match referee would simply give a walk-over to the other side, I told her. So she better learn to cope with different situations without raising a tantrum. That was the real challenge.

I have quoted this incident because I feel that the girls reaction was a manifestation of the OUC phenomena. With both parents working in most metros as well as big cities, the child gets very little time to spend with parents. The latch-key kid is the outcome. Also, in such cases the nuclear families have become Pseudo Nuclear Families...with all members of the family being together at the same time becoming rarer and rarer. This often leads to a feeling of guilt in parents...for neglecting their children. And this creates an urge in them to overspend on them every now and then...a way to compensate for the lost time.

Such children begin to get more material gifts and comforts than they actually need...leading to a situation where they are unable to realize and estimate the true value of things and situations. So what happens? The growing child begins to feel that the whole world is his/her...all comforts should be theirs without fail!

I request parents to guard against such developments. They must ensure that the child learns to 'earn' and 'value' their benevolent inputs. This in no way implies that we must not pamper our children...of course we must! They are our little wonders and we have every right to shower our love and affection.

My only concern is that 'balance' needs to be struck between affection and providing our children enabling toolkits to handle life's situations...with a smile on their face.

Otherwise, sooner than later they will spoil an exam due to an 'unfit' desk!!

Nikhil
(Just drove back home...this bit had to be keyed in )

Another day at the grand Akshardham Temple Complex, New Delhi

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 06:58:00 +0000

Well, yesterday was my umpteenth visit to this grand monument. This time round we had our relatives come over from Lucknow. So, while they all went through the series of exhibitions, movie on Swamy Narayan & the boat ride depicting Indian Heritage & Culture, my wife Ruchi and I just sat outside (within the complex campus) and.....well, just sat and talked endlessly. It was during this period of around 3-4 hours that some very interesting observations struck me. Here goes...

1. Without the mobile phone (it is not permitted inside the campus) I felt relieved...as also relaxed!! The interesting part is...during this period of remaining de-networked my mind wandered on other things....things that were happening around me...right there!! Perhaps, it was after quite some time that I was able to live and dwell in the 'NOW.'
2. With this state of mind I observed a little kid run after a group of sparrows...he wanted to talk to them...literally pleading them to give him attention! His dad was a bit angry since he was having to run after the kid...and that was not to his liking.
3. And this made me think deeper...kids are inherently innocent...for them anything visible is capable of communicating. This innocence reflects the true essence of our being too...deep inside we all have a 'child' waiting and longing to be discovered...by ourselves.
4. Those of us who are able to understand that the 'child' very much exists 'within,' sooner or later start exploring it...and let me tell you, the journey is not only enjoyable but adventurous too.
5. The Swamy Narayan volunteers through their NGO - BAPS - have done a tremendous job of not only presenting the teachings of their spiritual fountain head, but also the vastness, depth and immortality of Indian Culture.
6. They have done this by presenting spiritual teachings in an entertaining format. People love to have fun on outings...so what better than a day out on a Disneyland kind of a complex...but with the end result a little different...perhaps the kind I experienced last evening!!
7. Education too needs to be presented to children in a game format...it has to entertain them...they need to have fun participating in it. Teachers and parents who can do this will succeed in developing evolved citizens who will add much value to the entire process of human growth and development.

Signing off!!

Nikhil

Humour in the Classroom situation

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 04:06:00 +0000

Its been my experience that if you can clown around with kids in the classroom situation even while delivering a lecture on say math and science (the subjects I teach in Classes VIII - X), the net output is phenomenal. A good sense of humour is adored by kids....I often pull their legs when they do not perform, or forget to keep a promise about lesson submissions etc. The whole dynamics gets into the 'fun' zone when kids begin to feel free to pull me up too when I slip up.....!!

Humour, I feel, is the most powerful way to express to kids that there is a kid 'within' you too. The moment this happens, you become a part of their peer group....and a process of peer group learning is set into motion. Such learning is two-way, enjoyable and very penetrating.

Parents too need to follow this approach as much as possible to be able to 'reach out' to their children at home and whenever they go on outings with them. Parenting then becomes real fun and kids adore such parents who can play and clown around even while guiding them on serious issues.

While coaching kids in squash I again adopt a similar approach.

In all, humour is the elixir of life....the more we practice it the more we reap its benefits.....

Nikhil