Adventures in Wellington

We Should Share TMI

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 28 Sep 2021 23:10:00 +0000

This post is inspired by a recent personal health situation - one that I couldn't have possibly navigated if some important people in my life had not been open to discussing information normally considered "TMI" (too much information).

In short, two weeks ago I had a hysterectomy.

How did I get there? Well, it all started in January. My doctor had been advising me that I would soon 'age out' of the combined birth control pill (i.e. the one that contains estrogen), and in January she advised it was time to switch to an IUD or a progestin-only birth control pill. As I wasn't keen to have something installed into my cervix, I opted for the funded* pill. My doctor advised that many women have had breakthrough bleeding on the funded pill, but to give it a go for three months. At the time I also complained of frequent urination, but not in a way that led me to believe I had a UTI. She tested me for one anyway, and it was negative. There was no follow-up.

I effectively had three months of non-stop periods. My breasts were an entire size larger as well - which often happened the week before my period on the combined pill, but this was ridiculous. I tracked all of my symptoms in a spreadsheet (because of course I did). After three months, I went back to my doctor and asked for the progestin-only pill that wasn't funded. It would set me back $50+ for three months, but there was a far higher chance of less bleeding. And I did have success for nearly 2 months - very short periods, my other symptoms were far less severe. I had done it!

The other change I made at that time was hiring a health coach to help me lose weight. I knew what I needed to do around food and exercise, but not exactly how to do it. The program was going well - I was eating better (and more!) than I'd ever had, lifting weights again, and dropping the weight.

Until I hit a plateau.

Now, here's some TMI for you...it was because I hadn't pooped in a few days. My coach asked if it was normal for me, and you know, it wasn't. Just about that time, a good friend of mine told me she was scheduled for a hysterectomy. What?! I've been wanting one for ages - I had no use for my uterus - even considered signing up to a live donation program. Anyway, she told me she had fibroids and finally had the explanation for her terrible periods. I had no idea what fibroids were, so I looked up the symptoms: abdominal pain, frequent urination, breakthrough bleeding, back pain and...constipation. Fibroids are very common, especially in women my age and even moreso for women who have never had children.

I had all of those symptoms, but also had an explanation for nearly all of them. Back pain? I'm 48 - of course I have back pain. Abdominal pain and breakthrough bleeding? Well, that's probably due to the new pill and/or peri-menopause, right? Ultimately it was the constipation that I couldn't explain. I pretty much only drank water, and heaps of it. Plenty of fibre in my diet too. When my period went on for 2 weeks on the new pill, I was off to see my doctor again to request a scan.

My doctor is a general practitioner and does not seem knowledgable in women's health, despite being a woman and my exact same age. She hesitated when I asked for a scan (which would be at my cost), saying she doubted a fibroid could be large enough to cause constipation. I just kept asking until she referred me for a scan. In the meantime, we agreed to continue the non-funded pill until I had some answers about what my body might be up to.

I had a scan about a week later, with results the next day. And here's where my amazing friends come in again, because my doctor provided very little information about the results. My doctor only emailed to say that I had multiple fibroids and that I should consider a hysterectomy.

Trust me, you don't want to see an actual picture of this.

Fortunately, a friend of mine is a Sonographer! I sent over my report, and she decoded it for me: my uterus is tipped backwards, I had six fibroids, all tamarillo-sized and my uterus was about double the average size. Where do I go from here?

Well, back to my friend who had just had her hysterectomy. She and her partner had done all the groundwork in choosing an ob/gyn, and had had such a positive experience, they recommended him to me. She also guided me through what to expect at my first appointment with him, and what to expect from surgery and post-op.

And my coach! She also had had experience with fibroids, and knew how to change my diet and workouts to accommodate. I met my goal of 10kg weight loss with her help, which led to a better result during my surgery as well.

I knew what was normal for my body, and I still explained away most of my symptoms. If I hadn't insisted on a scan, how long would it have taken for my (soon to be former) doctor to order one?

Throughout all of this, I never felt lost or confused because my friends were so willing to talk and share vital information, and I can't thank them enough:

- Suzanne for sharing TMI about her own health situation and guiding me through the entire process.

- RJ (Suzanne's partner) for sharing how he supported Suzanne and providing guidance to Darren.

- Sarah for decoding my scan report. She was also ready to scan me herself if I had waited any longer for an appointment.

- Anastasia for guiding me through and helping me meet my weight loss goal.

Share that TMI - you just never know who may need to hear it.

*Because New Zealand has socialised medicine, certain prescriptions are funded, which means they only cost $5. In this case, I could get 3 months of birth control for one copay of $5.

Level One is Not Level None

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 14 Mar 2021 01:28:00 +0000

So, what is it like now?

I have started this post so many times (and had it completely written last weekend before Blogger ate it somehow. Argh!) And now we are one year into this pandemic!

The approach New Zealand has taken is quite different from the countries where Covid is raging - mostly due to our very strict lockdown last year, which lasted 5 weeks, as well as our strict border controls. However, it is also different to some Asian countries who also stomped out the virus quickly and without shutting their borders.

Our government decided to take swift and decisive action nearly a year ago, implementing a Level system. The details of the Levels have altered slightly to be more flexible over the past several months, but generally have stayed the same. New Zealand was in Level 4 - the strictest level - for five weeks and then moved down the levels slowly until we reached the almost-normal Level 1 last June. Since then, the majority of Covid cases in New Zealand have been in the quarantine hotels at the border. A few cases have jumped the border into the community and were met with either swift testing/tracing and/or an increase in the Level for a short period of time.

As our Health Director Dr. Bloomfield has reminded us, Level 1 is not Level None. There are still some restrictions in place, and masks are now mandatory on almost all forms of transport. Beyond that, there are still hints that not all is 'normal' and that society in general is ready to transition to a higher Level if required: grocery stores have kept their plexiglass barriers in place, most stores still have indicators on the ground for proper physical distancing, and the QR Tracing system signs are everywhere - even on the bus! Doctors and dentists have remained vigilant despite the drop in levels, as they are most at risk of coming into contact with someone who is unwell.

When levels do change, stores immediately post signs showing how many people are allowed in the store at a time, gyms send out emails reminding members of the rules for that particular level, and the government sends out the loudest text message alert I have ever received.

Because we are in such a good position, though, any new community case is a BIG DEAL. The government springs into action with interviews of those infected to figure out where they may have contracted the disease, and where they may have gone in public during the infectious period. Tracers aim to contact and test 85% of close contacts within 24 hours. Testing not only works to figure out the epidemiological link (i.e. how did it pass from person to person), but also maps the genome. This informs the response - is the genome new? Connected to a particular case at the border quarantine? What is the variant? Unlike cases in the US and Europe, we aim to figure out where every case originated. We even test the wastewater on a weekly basis to determine if Covid is in the community undetected.

This is great, right? Is it? Or do we know too much about how the virus is spread? In the latest cluster, the media released a fairly detailed diagram of the families involved and how the virus spread between them. In one case, one mother caught it from another during an (outdoor!) walk.

Having this information gives me a sense of panic when I see that some states in the US are opening indoor dining and theme parks, eschewing the use of masks and distancing, and even opening schools. We may not always pinpoint how the virus jumps the border, but we do know how it has transmitted between people. This is our 'normal' and will be for months to come.

Our Country Bubble

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 26 Oct 2020 00:10:00 +0000

A while ago, I wrote a post about what it felt like to live in a country where the virus isn't raging, to live normally on an island surrounded by a world on fire. At the time it felt off-putting, like suddenly coming into a bunch of money or fame that wasn't earned.

And then the virus reappeared.

We still aren't quite sure how it made it into the country. Our government has been quite transparent about all of our Covid cases - where they came from, how cases are linked both epidemiologically and genomically, what areas are at risk, and what they are doing to try to find answers. They also communicate how to stay calm and be prepared, that there will always be new cases as long as it is out of control elsewhere in the world. This communication has taken away the overall feeling (for me) that the virus could be lurking anywhere at any time.

The resurgence was our largest cluster, largely because of the community it affected (Pacific Islanders, who generally are more social) and partly because some in that cluster decided not to believe the science and made some poor choices. The government acted swiftly and stepped up the Levels throughout the country and the area affected. Once the perimeters of the cluster were under control, and cases reduced, the Levels stepped back down and here we are again living nearly normally.

Sadly, three men connected to this cluster died. Our country mourned each death, reflecting on the life of each man. Did they have underlying conditions? Maybe, but that isn't reported here anymore because it's not important. Reporting on "underlying conditions" only serves as a dog whistle to those who feel that the virus isn't that dangerous, or that they wouldn't have a severe case if they were to be infected. It takes away from the fact these men would not have died otherwise.

Since that large cluster, there has been another small cluster related to a port worker who likely caught the virus on a ship he had worked on. This cluster was also caught early and swiftly dealt with - the minute the port worker felt ill, he left work, got a test, and isolated. The cluster is small and seemingly already under control, so we all just carry on as if life is normal.

It's not quite, though. I wear a mask in any crowded area, especially on transport. Recently, I traveled up to Auckland (the location of both resurgences) for work and made sure to wear my mask on the plane. Very few others did, though. The streets, shopping malls, and even the line for airport security in Auckland were *packed*. It felt very dystopian (and a little nervewracking) to be in crowds like that.

We are lucky. But now it feels more than that - it feels earned. Not to the point of invincibility, but definitely the same feeling as being in a new job for over 6 months and finally understanding what is going on. More cases will come. Of course they will. But I'd like to think we can adapt and respond as necessary.

We voted! Twice! (Legally)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 25 Oct 2020 23:29:00 +0000

Every now and then, the New Zealand elections will fall in the same year as a Federal US election, and 2020 was one of those years. In the space of a week, we voted twice - in NZ and by absentee ballot for the US election.

The elections are run so very differently, and it is such an interesting contrast to me. While the US reelection campaign starts at least 1 year (sometimes 2 years) out from the election, the NZ one is only a few weeks. Of course, the different parties here start fluffing their feathers out as soon as the election date is announced (by the PM - they pick the date, which is always a Saturday, in the third year of their term). This year had the added complication of Covid-19 - due to a resurgence in the community, the election was delayed by 1 month.

Early voting here began 2 weeks before the election date, and it appears voters had already made up their minds and were keen to vote. Over 1 million votes were cast before election day (approximately 45% of the vote). Campaigning must end by midnight the night before election day; billboards must be pulled down, and all ads, including on social media, must stop. I feel this is a bit outdated considering how many vote early.

And the voting itself? Easy. Every registered voter received an "EasyVote" card in the mail, which we just needed to take to a polling place. Any polling place - and there were heaps of them, with clear signage.

Darren and I only waited about 5 minutes on the first day of early voting at the location we chose in Wellington city. We signed in to the location with the Covid Tracer app, 'washed' our hands with sanitizer, received a pen to mark the ballot with, then received the ballot. The poll worker makes several checks to ensure the person presenting the card is the correct person, then handed me the ballot for my area (Wellington City), as well as the two referendums we were voting on. A few minutes in the booth and done!

The Electoral Commission lays it all out so simply in both English and Maori: https://www.vote.nz/voting/2020-general-election/how-to-vote/

The polls closed at 7pm on election day, and we had preliminary results from the early voting by 7:15, with the final* result announced around 11pm. The actual final election results (which include special votes) will be announced on November 6th. The referendum results will also be announced that day.

I will note that we were very happy with the results and have high hopes for the next three years.

Now. The US election...

It was not quite as easy. Every state is different, and Maryland makes it medium-difficult to vote from abroad. I first had to contact them to request the paperwork to request an absentee ballot. The request was confirmed, at which point I then had to complete paperwork to request the actual ballot via email. After a couple more weeks, the ballot was received. I could have dropped off my ballot to the US Embassy or Consulate, but I didn't receive it in time. Instead, I mailed it via international courier at the cost of $51! Compared to those standing in line for 12 hours? Pretty low cost.

As of this writing, I have received notification from NZ Post that my envelope was delivered. Maryland, however, has not yet acknowledged that my ballot was received or counted. I'll update if/when that happens.

The election itself has me on edge, and I have scheduled to take some time off of work in case I need to deal with unpleasant feelings after election day. Let's hope I can save my vacation time for a more pleasant reason...

An Over-Abundance of Freedom

noreply@blogger.com (d) — Sat, 18 Jul 2020 03:22:00 +0000

*mic tap tap* Hello? Anyone there? Is this thing on? *mic tap tap*

So, eh...it's been 4 years since we've written anything on this blog. There are heaps of drafts that were never published, and may never be. Today I want to share some thoughts about the state of the world and how we are carrying on in New Zealand...

I was in a yoga class last night.

Wait.

That sentence would not have been remarkable 6 months ago. A year ago. We all know why it's nearly a 'brag' now. New Zealand has done remarkably well (*so far!) at containing the Covid-19 disease. Back in late March, we shut everything down and the government asked people to isolate. And we did because our Prime Minister told us we were a team of 5 million. Fortunately, we could easily close our borders and we didn't have an overwhelming number of cases in the community. We were out of intense lockdown in just 6 weeks, and into Level 1 by early June.

It's been 78 days since we've had a case from an unknown/community transfer.

Technically we are still in "Level 1", but we live freely. We can go to work, and school, and congregate at parties, concerts, sports events, bars and restaurants. We can use transport and shop and get our hair cut - all without masks. We can hug our friends and have morning teas at work.

And we can exercise in groups.

As I moved through the poses in my 90 minute (restorative) class, I realised why I've been uncomfortable with this freedom over the past few weeks: I feel that I have an over-abundance of something that I cannot give away.

This particular thought struck me because the owner of the studio holds the restorative class once a month, and only asks for a koha* payment. When asked, she simply states "you can pay with anything you have an over-abundance of". Such a great idea! And over the years I have figured out where to take certain items that I have too many of - extra containers go to the Free Store, extra clothes go to Dress for Success. Curtains? Sustainability Trust. We even have charities that 'rescue' food every day and redistribute it to food banks.

And here we are living freely, without any power to help friends and family overseas.

Here's my last point: after all the years living in the US with the "freedom" propaganda message shoved down my throat daily, only now do I understand what freedom really feels like. And it didn't come in a moment when I was alone and doing whatever I wanted - it's arrived in the moments where I was out at a crowded pub with friends, or wandering through town on crowded sidewalks and yes, in yoga class. Freedom exists when everyone can enjoy it. We have an over-abundance of it here, and I wish I could share it...

*Koha: a Maori word frequently used in New Zealand meaning gift, present, offering, donation or contribution.

This Is Halloween

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 01 Nov 2016 06:15:00 +0000

We are almost at the 10 year anniversary of our move here to New Zealand, and I've been wanting to write some posts reflecting on what we've learned and how we've settled in here. Mostly, the posts are just floating around in my head - we'll see how many of them I'll actually write down!

So, we'll start with Halloween 2016. You'll note I didn't add a picture at the top of this post. Why? Well...there's really nothing to take a picture of, sadly.

Halloween simply has not taken off here like other foreign celebrations (read: Octoberfest & Guy Fawkes) have. In fact, there's still quite a lot of grumbling about it being an "American" holiday, with some people actually offended that children would go door to door asking for candy. There are some minor Halloween-related events held by the City government, but they are always targeted towards children. Very few people decorate their houses/yards, and only one person dressed up at my workplace.

There were a few years where it seemed Halloween was getting more popular - we'd see Halloween themed candy in the grocery stores as well as in the primary household-y type store (The Warehouse), along with a few basic costume accessories. But this year, it seemed less popular. We struggled to find suitable candy to hand out (to the kids who didn't show up anyway), and noted that all the stores had already set up their Xmas displays.

Yes, we thought we'd get some trick-or-treaters this year! Mainly due to all the kids who appeared last Halloween when we were travelling in the US and our friends were watching the house, but also because a new registry popped up on-line for people to indicate that they were open to trick-or-treaters. But only four kids came around, two of whom were our neighbors across the street. Apparently the wealthier streets in our suburb attracted all the candy seekers. Well...can't blame them. That is actually a good tactic!

Still, even as much as I miss Halloween, I miss celebrating it in Autumn. The evenings are dark and chilly, the trees have shed many of their brightly colored leaves and there's that particular smell in the air that hints at a slowing of time. It is my favorite holiday, and has been for as long as I can remember. I really didn't know how much I'd miss it, or how wrong it feels during the Spring. We often plan our US trips to coincide with Halloween for this reason. Perhaps we'll see some of you next year...

A pic of us in 2013 wearing the last elaborate costumes we made (at Disney World).

How to Speak Kiwi: The Sequel

noreply@blogger.com (d) — Sat, 03 Jan 2015 05:53:00 +0000

Way back in 2007, I wrote a blog post on "How to Speak Kiwi". I see that the post still gets quite a few views, so I thought I'd finally write an update.

Eight years into this adventure, I still very much have my American accent. It is not really region-specific, except for the few times I drag out the "y'all" or say "Aunt" the Yankee way. Darren still has his accent too, although he (and many people in the US) seem to think it has faded quite a bit.

We have both integrated many of the Kiwi words and phrases into our everyday speech, though. Kiwis are much more subtle than Americans, and don't care for superlatives or strong emotions. The word 'keen' is used if a person wants to express interest or show eagerness in a particular activity or to find out if someone else is "I want to see blah blah movie, are you keen?". And if someone does me a favor or a customer service person actually solves an issue, I typically respond with 'sweet!' or 'nice!'. Words/phrases used to congratulate someone are 'well done' or 'good result!'. Conversely, if something goes badly, the most common utterances are 'that's not ideal' or a simple 'stink'.

To agree with someone, I often say the simple 'same!' instead of 'me too'. 'Cheers' is often used in place of 'thank you' - and Darren definitely uses it that way, but I only use it at the end of emails instead of the typical American use of 'Sincerely'. Speaking of emails, I am (mostly) used to addressing business associates by only their first names, but I definitely never say I will 'flick' an email to anyone. Flicking is for boogers.

Another Kiwi term we frequently use is 'sorted'. It is an incredibly useful word, which can mean a project is done or a conflict has been resolved. I have also completely replaced my use of 'tons' with 'heaps'.

I still haven't gotten used to flashlights being 'torches' (all I can imagine is an actual torch with fire and monsters), or saying an item is 'on special' instead of on sale. 'Special' for me means...other things. And whenever I hear or read a news report about 'appliances' attending a fire, I can only imagine a heap of toasters, blenders, maybe even a couple stoves sitting on a sidewalk (err..I mean 'pavement' or 'footpath') outside a burning house.

The news also reports crimes or other activities happen to an address 'in' a street, as opposed to on such-and-such street. As I read or listen, I always mentally correct the statement, as I just can't reconcile how a house or business is *in* a street.

A word I've only come to hear in the last couple of years is 'paper'. Here, it means a university level course. Instead of saying "as part of my degree, I took an Economics course", one might say "I did a paper in Economics".

Another term that is very much an English term is 'cuddle'. Except it is often used to mean 'hug'. I still find it a bit creepy when an adult friend asks if I need a cuddle...

Ah! That reminds me of an awkward exchange during my first few weeks of work: the newbies of the tax group were forced to do a weird comical role play in front of the rest of the group as sort of an icebreaker each year. Even though I wasn't a graduate, I was still expected to participate. I emailed a (Kiwi) coworker about my hesitation, and he responded "you'll be sweet". I immediately sent a text to Darren freaking out about such harassment. How *dare* this guy tell me to be sweet? What the hell?! Fortunately, Darren was already up with the Kiwi lingo and explained what it meant ('you'll be ok'). Phew!

Something else I learned early on was that Kiwis don't describe poultry meat as 'dark' versus 'white'. Instead, you have to specify which part of the bird you are after (i.e. thigh, drumstick, breast). Fortunately, I only had one awkward experience before I learned this!

Pronunciation of words can be interesting at times, too. [Disclaimer: not every Kiwi pronounces every word the same way]. Over the past couple of years, I've become acutely aware of words ending with 'wn' being pronounced with an extra 'e'. For example, 'known' = 'know-en'. I've heard this from random acquaintances as well as news announcers (!).

Many French words/names are also mispronounced [read: 'herb', where the 'h' is pronounced!], especially if they are street names, but 'debut' is always pronounced "day-boo" here. Even though both the UK and the US pronounce the word "day-bue", the original French pronunciation is followed here.

And buoy! Americans typically pronounce those floaty things "boo-eee". However, here (and likely in the rest of the world), it is pronounced "boy". I giggle every time I hear it.

I also giggle whenever I hear "duty" or "tainted", and most people I've come across here do not understand why. They just end up repeating "duty" several times in a row, as if the subtle difference in pronunciation changes how funny it is. It does not! It just makes it sound like a fancy version of "doodie'!

And drawers - as in, dressers with drawers - is written and pronounced 'draws'. Drives.me.nuts. There are just two more letters! Two!

Let's see...I still say 'elevator' instead of 'lift'; (movie) 'previews' are not the same as 'shorts' (to me); I haven't yet switched from saying parking lot/parking garage to 'car parks'; and 'plaster' instead of band-aid is too weird for me. Plaster goes on a wall. Oh, and we have a front lawn and a back yard...not two 'gardens'. For the longest time, I thought everyone spent their weekends maintaining beautiful gardens!

And here's a two-fer: the kitchen counter is called the 'bench' here. And combined with the Kiwi accent, it sounds like "bEANch".

When I first met Merrin, we were hanging out at Darrel's house, and I asked about a particular item. She stated it was on the bench. Since I was not quite familiar with the Kiwi accent yet, I had no idea what she had even said! She repeated it several times, until she finally said "kitchen bench". Now, Darrel's kitchen at the time was the size of a small closet, and there was NO way a stool would fit in there, much less an entire bench! Still, I wandered into the tiny room and found what I was looking for...on the counter. And thus, I had been thrown into the deep-end of the Kiwi language and accent!

New Year's 2014/2015

noreply@blogger.com (d) — Thu, 01 Jan 2015 06:28:00 +0000

Today is the first day of 2015. A new year always brings a sense of hope and excitement, and today even more-so because the weather was simply stunning. Most of the 'backwards' seasons feel weird to me, but I do enjoy a beautiful summer New Year's day.

Like most years, we didn't make any advanced plans for New Year's eve this (last?) year. In fact, we can't remember most of NYEs over the last 8 years. However, we both agree that the most enjoyable one we've had was 2013/2014 - we spent the evening with Merrin, Darrel, and a couple other friends playing Cards Against Humanity.

Every year I imagine I'd like to do something fancy. Perhaps get all dressed up and eat a fancy dinner with a fabulous live band in the background. There *is* a winery just north of Wellington that puts on a great NYE dinner each year, but the band this year was not one we were interested in. Ah, well. Maybe next (this?) year.

Even though New Zealand is in the first time zone to see the New Year, there is no large organised celebration. That is, none of the 4 major TV networks have a countdown or NYE special - most just play old movies or music videos. I assume Auckland has a fireworks show...it isn't televised. And Wellington promises to do a fireworks show each year, but they are often cancelled due to weather. Yes, despite it being summer, NYE in Wellington is almost always cold, rainy and/or windy! This past one was no exception, although the crap weather stopped just before the scheduled fireworks. I can only assume they happened, because...also not televised.

Darren and I had a relatively quiet evening filled with beer, pizza, video games and the struggle to stay awake until midnight. We made it though, and celebrated with a beer from Garage Project called "Hops on Pointe", which melds a golden lager with champagne yeast. It was...horrible. Truly, absolutely tragic! We plan to lump that into the sucky year that was 2014 instead of as a harbinger of things to come in 2015.

Today, we woke up to gorgeous weather, so we headed out for a walk across Karori to the cemetery. Along the way, we passed the main Karori shops, the smaller shopping area in Marsden Village and an even smaller shopping area just before leaving Karori. Almost everything was closed, which is not unexpected.

The cemetery is gorgeous:

With a bit of history:

The cemetery was quiet and peaceful, as cemeteries are, I guess. Afterwards, we headed back through Karori past the few open stores (a Chinese take-away, a Dairy), picked up a DVD from the video store (yes! we still have video stores!), a couple items from the grocery store and made it home in time for lunch. Later in the afternoon, we streamed the NYE fireworks show from Walt Disney World via their website. Magical!

Happy New Year!

To Be an Expat

noreply@blogger.com (d) — Thu, 25 Dec 2014 23:47:00 +0000

The word I associate most with being an expat is "lonely".

Now, that may not be true for other expats - even for Darren - but after eight years living outside of the US, it is certainly true for me. Unlike some of our friends, Darren and I didn't have the "call our parents every day" type of relationship with either of our families. So, of all the things we considered when we decided to move, leaving family behind was not a major concern. At the time I felt quite close to my brother Kevin, his wife, and her family. I also had fairly regular contact with my Aunt and cousin in Connecticut. I simply didn't consider any of that would change, even being across the world and 16-18 hours ahead in time.

We took this leap of faith together, knowing that it would be just us for a while in our new homeland. And we were also very fortunate to have my friends Darrel and Merrin here in Wellington - they welcomed us on our first day, and have been a constant presence since.

However we were determined to make more friends, and so launched headlong into leading a social group here for people like us (expats/people new to Wellington). We did indeed forge some lasting relationships. And as people moved along or faded away - as inevitably happens in a transient city - we joined other groups to meet more people. Rinse and repeat. We've even found friends at work!

But it isn't the same. There's no replacement for the people we have left behind - the people who know our histories and our struggles. I am a people (and memories) hoarder. I am hesitant to let go of any significant period in my life, or anyone who was a part of it. Email and Facebook are fantastic ways to keep in touch with what is going on in my friends' lives, but it isn't the same. It just isn't. I didn't realise this before moving, and I'm certain it wouldn't have stopped our journey. But still...

The loneliness is worse at the holidays (not too unexpected, though, right?). For the first few years, I made an effort to send gifts and/or cards, as did my brother and my Aunt (the word "aunt" looks weird in lower case. Deal with it.) at birthdays and xmas. I often was late, but the thought was always there. Skype calls were always scheduled for the major holidays and it felt like an equal effort. But it has all faded away now - the effort is more on one side than the other, and even then, less than it was.

It seems there is an expectation that the person who leaves has the obligation to stay in touch. And maybe that's fair, I don't know.

I wonder if we are missed, and if we are, if it is enough to make an effort.

8 Years

noreply@blogger.com (d) — Thu, 27 Nov 2014 23:03:00 +0000

I started this blog post a couple of weeks ago – it was to be a reflection of the past 8 years and what we have learned about New Zealand and the Kiwi culture, especially as it is reflected through the language.

However, that version is on a now-bricked flash drive. Darren is desperately trying to fix whatever I have done to that (not backed up) tiny piece of technology. In the meantime, I will think (and write) about how today is Thanksgiving.

Nine years ago, while celebrating Thanksgiving with my family, I announced to my brother that Darren and I were thinking of moving to New Zealand. Kevin responded with “cool!”. Just one year later, Darren and I celebrated Thanksgiving with my family for the last time*, three days before we headed out on our one-way flight to New Zealand. We landed here eight years ago today.

As our families and friends celebrate Thanksgiving, Darren and I are at our separate workplaces on an ordinary Friday. We miss you all and send love across the world -

*so far!

I Still Believe in the Movies

noreply@blogger.com (d) — Mon, 27 Oct 2014 04:28:00 +0000

When I was 16, I worked at the candy counter in one of the movie theaters in my town.

That summer, Batman (with Michael Keaton) and Dick Tracy were released, and I was taken with them both for different reasons. Michael Keaton will always be the true Batman for me - moody and tortured, without the flashy background. And Dick Tracy was so bright and bold! It was truly innovative to see the primary colors used in comic books alive on the big screen.

Going to the movies was such a treat back then, and the best perk of my job was being allowed to attend any of the three movie theaters in town for free. Free! The popcorn was free too, but I knew that the previous day's unsold popcorn was just bagged up and sold the next day. (Hint: always buy the popcorn later in the day.) In the summer, the movie theater was the best place to be because it was always super cold.

There are so many memorable movie moments in my life: the Star Wars trilogy, Naked Gun (my parents were a bit..permissive), The Matrix (I had actually travelled back to Oklahoma when this was out, and a pay phone rang just as we were exiting the cinema. Freaky!), Final Destination (that was dumb -> I was flying twice a week for work at the time), Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (the night I met my good friend Kim)...oh, and a couple of disturbing French films I saw in a little independent cinema in Bethesda. Man, French films are really weird.

And the type of theater can be important too - just after we moved to New Zealand, a gorgeous one-screen cinema near our house played the Lord of the Rings films for three successive weekends over the Christmas break. Almost no one was in town, so it felt as if we were getting private screenings! A couple more gorgeous, classically styled theaters have opened in town, and they are so well suited for certain movies like Joss Whedon's version of Much Ado About Nothing, and The Artist.

Found picture here: http://tnponline.wordpress.com/contact/embassy-theater-wellington/

For the most part, though, digital content has changed the game. Many can illegally access new movies within days (if not hours) of the movie hitting screens. Or simply just wait until the movie is released legally on-line or on DVD/Blu-Ray. TVs are getting bigger by the day, and those who can afford to create home theaters complete with surround-sound have less incentive to make their way to the local cinema.

But it just really isn't the same, is it?

"The movies" are still such a treat for me*. And more often than not, I see a movie that reminds me why I prefer to watch them in a large auditorium. The latest one was The Judge, starring Robert Downey Jr. Now, Robert has been known lately as the lead in two franchises: Iron Man, and Sherlock Holmes. I enjoy both immensely, but he is pretty much the same cocky/intelligent/wealthy guy in both. In the Judge, however, he reels the cocky attitude back quite a bit - he has to, as it is set in his character's hometown in the Midwest.

The Judge was a long, drawn-out movie, and appropriately so. The director took his time introducing the characters, letting the audience get to know them and maybe even care for them, as the story unfolded. And if a person's bladder can handle the common length of movies these days (i.e. 2 hours or more), there is this portion of uninterrupted time that is practically impossible at home.

In a way, going to the movies is no different than going to a play or another form of stage show. Sometimes the show will be crap, but it is always an experience. And in New Zealand? The movies are *way* cheaper than your average stage show of the same duration. Especially on Tuesdays - you heard it here first! ;)

Another movie in the past year which really stood out for me was 12 Years a Slave. As an American who grew up in the almost-South...as a white woman with several black friends...I knew this movie would be difficult to sit through. It was incredibly well-acted and frankly, I sobbed pretty much through the entire movie. Such a big movie needed to be larger than life - I needed to see it displayed on an entire wall and not just encompassed on a small screen in my house. But more than that...once it was done, I could leave it behind in that theater. It was such an upsetting film, I didn't want to first experience it in my house.

And that can be true of horror films, as well. I don't watch them, but if I did, I would choose to see them at the cinema. I can be scared there - in *that* room. Action movies are almost required to be seen in a proper theater with the giant screen and probably-too-loud sound system. And comedies? Yes, usually funnier with a full room of people.

But are there movies I wait to see on the 'small' screen? Absolutely, as I also still believe in Video Stores. Look for that post soon. ;)

*Full disclosure: I work in the finance department of a movie chain. And the latest Batman movie was released the year I started working there! Full circle!

Oh, To Buy a Yoga Mat

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 03 Oct 2014 03:48:00 +0000

I have (somewhat) recently taken up yoga again. Of all the mat-based exercises, I've tended to favor Pilates over the years. At some point, I got bored with it – or at least didn't want to continue paying for the classes on top of the exorbitant fees I already pay to go to the gym.

Earlier this year, I discovered my gym hires actual yoga instructors to teach the yoga classes. Better yet, I found two that make each of their classes different and interesting! So, I finally decided that perhaps I will buy my own mat.

There is a ‘hot yoga’ studio right behind the building where I work, and I remembered that they had thick mats - and suspected they sold them as well. Easy peasy, right? As a practical, ‘type-A’ accountant dealing with…people who are not, here’s how that went:

The studio only has someone at the desk just before/after classes. Fortunately, when I arrived, there were only a couple of people signing in for class.

Me: Hi, I’d like to buy a yoga mat.

Guru: Sure –we have three styles. The beginner mats are behind you, the next level up is along the wall, and [checks someone in] we have new ones coming in soon! [Runs to office, grabs mat to show me.] This one is $125.

Me: …. (blinks)

Guru: The ones along the wall are $85. [Runs off to check someone in.]

Me: What is the difference between the $85 mats and the beginner mats ($28)?

Guru: Well, you get what you pay for, aye? [Checks someone in.]

Me: …

Me: [Compares mats.] Ok…the thickness and length don’t seem different.

Guru: No. [Checking more people in. Seriously, no one else is around to help.]

Me: … So, the difference is..?

Guru: Well, the quality is different, isn’t it? You really get what you pay for. Heaps of people buy the beginner mats – it’s ok.

Me: … So…the higher-end mat is less slippery…? I’m trying to figure out what makes it better.

Guru: [Checks people in.] If you are worried about the mat being slippery, I’d recommend getting the beginner mat and a yoga mat towel.

Me: [Checks out the towels…$75!! Line to sign in is now 6 people deep.]

Me: [Leaves]

41

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 08 May 2014 18:51:00 +0000

I am now “in my 40s”.

When I say the number out loud, it makes sense only in that I can add up all of the transitions, work hours, friendships, romances, apartments, travels and other experiences and recognize that I can’t possibly have been with Darren for 10 years and be 19 years into my career without also having aged.

But when I look in the mirror, I don’t see a woman “in her 40s” – despite the ever-increasing amount of white I see when I blow dry my hair. There are no wrinkles…yet. In fact, my face looks the same as it always has.

I think.

When my mother was 41, I was 14. It wasn't an easy time, and I can still remember the disappointment I felt when I realized no one in the house remembered it was my birthday. (Except my brother, Robert. Or was that my 15^th birthday…?). My mother was decidedly old at 41. Bed-ridden, constantly ill, addict - she was miles away from her younger, prettier self. I didn't think about the future much at that time, but I’m certain my subconscious filed away what ‘the 40s’ looked like.

But the ‘40s’ are so varied! I have single friends who are in their 40s, friends (and family!) who have been married 20 years, and friends with babies, or young children, or even teenagers finishing their first year of college. So, who can really say what our 40s are supposed to look like?

I've never had a long-term plan, or even a 5-year plan. Every now and again, I'd set a goal, like “work in international tax” or “move across the world” and somehow it would happen. I have my next goal in mind, but I won’t mention it just yet (no, Siw, it isn't “having a child”!). And perhaps not having children - or a long career with one singular company - is why I don’t feel all the 41 years bearing down on me in one huge lump. Every few years, at least one major thing has changed for me, be it a new town, new job, etc.

So, what does this all mean? Yeah, I don’t know. How can I be 41 when I remember - so *very* clearly - my brother Kevin telling me to tie my own shoelaces when I was 5? Or all those summers at camp as a pre-teen? And my first prom, my college dorm room, my various exploits through my 20s, and the first time I saw New Zealand? Surely it wasn't really 10 years ago. Ten years ago I graduated college, right…?

I really thought I would be taller.

Maybe next year.

The Arts: Wellington Often Gets it Right, but Sometimes...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 04 Mar 2014 08:01:00 +0000

...not so much.

A Tempest off Matiu-Somes Island

Summer is the height of sport and culture in Wellington. In early February, the (rugby) Sevens comes to town for two days, showcasing teams from all over the world while Wellingtonians dress up and party. Then the arts scene takes over!

For two or three weeks every February/March, artists (primarily) from Wellington put on plays, dance fancy dances, sing a few tunes and generally produce weird and wonderful art as part of the Fringe Festival. There are several performances a day, and most of them very reasonably priced. All of the playhouses in town get involved, as well as some natural and/or unusual venues. I wrote about one particular play way back in 2007 that was - to this day - the best play we have ever seen in Wellington.

Even better, every other year, the International Arts Festival takes over Wellington for a month. Top acts from all over the world come to our little town masquerading as a city to entertain us. I was certain I had mentioned this festival a time or two, but looking through the archives, it appears that I have not! A shame, as we have seen some incredible plays and musical acts in past festivals...the Irish fiddler who played gorgeous tunes in the Frank Kitts park temporary venue while a sudden rainstorm provided the perfect background, and the circus-y show that split the audience between the main stage and backstage, and...ooh! The macabre "Dancing on Your Grave" - such an amazing performance! We have high hopes for the Festival offerings each year, and try to get to at least 3 or 4 of the shows (the tickets are much more expensive than Fringe shows!)

A couple of weeks ago, we went to what may now be an annual play called "A Tempest off Matiu-Somes Island". I was surprised to find that it was not offered as part of Fringe or the International Arts Festival! We had missed out seeing it in 2012, so I booked tickets as soon as I heard it was coming back. And the play did not disappoint - each actor was incredible in his/her role, and the few who were on the ferry were in character the entire time! The plays that are set in Wellington's natural beauty are so much more enjoyable than ones set in a theatre (no matter how old and/or beautiful the theatre...ok, except Mary Poppins. Best musical production I have ever seen ever EVER). The city and landscape add so many things that just can't be recreated on a stage. And in this case, we were on an actual remote island, with the clouds coming in, winds kicking up - incredible.

Keeping our love of Wellington's natural beauty in mind, I booked one of the first nights of "Power Plant", a visual and auditory art installation in the gorgeous Botanic Gardens in the heart of the city. We didn't know quite what to expect, as it was only the 2nd night of 'shows'. Round-trip Cable Car tickets were offered at the time I purchased the show tickets, but we weren't sure where we be coming from or how the show worked (does it begin AND end at the top of the Gardens?), so I opted out.

In the end, we decided to have dinner in the city and then use the Cable Car to get to where the show began. There was a huge queue for the Cable Car, but for once in our lives, we were early! We discovered that we could use our Snappers (i.e. stored value public transportation cards) for a one-way trip and by-passed a significant portion of the queue. There was a little light-show in one of the tunnels as we headed up the hill that was...trippy.

When we got to the top? Complete and utter madness. Our entry time was 9:40pm, and it was just about 9:25pm. They were just letting in the 9:10pm grouping - not a good impression so far. In our spare time, we noticed that the Cable Car was to close at 10pm (!!). Our entry time wasn't even close to being the final time of the evening - why would they sell roundtrip tickets..? We tried to confirm that the Cable Car was staying open later to accommodate the show, but the three - THREE - people working there had no idea.

The "queue" turned out to be just a massive crowd of people milling about. There was one guy with a flashlight/orange cone thing trying to herd people into time groupings. He was largely unsuccessful. Once he did get some separation, he then tried to get the groups to queue up. The queue looked like a giant triangle - with no one willing to move behind anyone else. In addition, the area was not well-lit. It was reminiscent of the Southwest Airlines queues before they put up the letter and number signs.

When we finally passed through and showed our tickets, we were further herded into groups of 15 to talk to a 'guide' about safety etc. He told us to be careful of tree roots and loose rocks, and then gave us three rules:

No smoking
No photographs (at all!)
The path is one-way --> do not double back on the path.

Simple enough, right? Well, within 5 minutes, all three rules were broken - in full view of the volunteers "working" the show. We were basically in line throughout the Gardens as we walked down the path. Some people decided to cross over barricades and climb up hills to get a better look at some of the installations. No one stopped them. I had to yell at the smoker until he stopped smoking.

We felt trapped and increasingly claustrophobic. Fortunately, most of our group dawdled long enough for us to pass them. Some of the sights and sounds were pretty cool, but not enough to deal with the hoards of people. Wellington is a small place, and we are just not used to feeling crowded anymore - especially not in a gigantic park! We practically ran through the pathways until we got to the concert lawn at the bottom, where we slipped out of the exhibition and literally ran down the street. Both of us (oddly) felt that if someone knew we were leaving instead of heading back up the hill, that they would drag us back to the show. We were determined to get as far away as possible!

As we were waiting for a bus to cross town, we saw several people who had been in our group walk by. Interesting that so many chose to leave the show half-way through...

In theory, the installation is getting rave reviews. I clearly do not understand...maybe their times were less crowded? If you do go, I would only recommend that you go at a much later time, or perhaps during the week. Wear good walking shoes and avoid bringing any bags. Oh, and try to get discounted tickets, if possible, just in case you want to escape at the mid-way point!

Kitties! (Part 2)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 12 Jan 2014 08:03:00 +0000

I guess it is really difficult to summarise an entire year with our girls in just one post!

So! We have established that they are big on the cuddles - which is exactly what we wanted. However, they are also really active and love to play (and climb!). Here's an adorable video of the girls using the kitchen rug to play hide and seek:

Daisy loves ALL boxes, even if they are too small for her:

She also has absolutely no shame:

Nala is a master climber, and likes to peer down at us from the top of the shower:

They are indoor kitties, due to the house being located in a suburb rife with indigenous birds. To make up for it, we bought them a HUGE cat tower. They just love it!

Over the year, each cat has picked her favorite human - Nala has chosen me, and Daisy adores Darren. Just look at this:

And Nala loves belly rubs:

Lady-like, they certainly are not. ;)

We've had some health issues with Daisy lately, which are hopefully resolved now. Overall, it's been a lovely year having them in our lives. The sound of them running around on the wood floors is too adorable for words. Most of all, they bring us joy.

Kitties! (Part 1)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 12 Jan 2014 05:29:00 +0000

Oh, look! Another reaaaaally late post!

One year ago today, we adopted two precious kittens from the Wellington SPCA. It wasn't exactly planned - we were only there to "look" - but it was something we had talked about for a while.

As many of you know, I was distraught when we had to have my cat Figaro put down just before we moved to New Zealand. I was so heartbroken, it was a very long time before I even considered having another pet. Fortunately (?) the apartment we rented for our first 4 years in Wellington didn't allow pets anyway.

A while after buying our house - once we had insulated it, installed central heating and replaced most of the windows - Darren and I both seemed to have the thought that we'd be ok leaving a pet in the house without worrying it would freeze to death during the winter months. We started talking about what type of pet we would want. Living a child free existence means we have had lots of freedom over the years to do as we pleased in regards to entertainment and travel. We ruled out having a dog due to the sad state of our lawns and the long hours we both currently put in at work.

And then we talked about cats. We knew we would adopt a stray or a cat from the SPCA - but what age? And female or male? We agreed on getting a female cat (they 'mark' less). One day, Darren mentioned it would be best to get *two* cats if we were to get kittens. Great idea! (And one that he regrets some days!)

So, one year ago, we headed to the SPCA to check out the kitties. On the way out of our suburb, we saw a sign at a church that the SPCA was there right at that moment! As we parked, Darren said to me "remember, we are only looking". Who was he talking to? I'm an accountant! I have never impulse purchased anything*.

We walked into the church and saw a bunch of cages on tables. The first cage had two kittens, but they wouldn't wake up for anything. "Boring", I thought. The next couple of cages had adult cats that were a bit too old. And then I saw them: two gorgeous white kittens in the back of the room. I went up to the cage and asked the SPCA representative if I could hold the kittens. One practically jumped into my arms when I opened the cage, and immediately started purring.

I was in love. :)

I looked at Darren, and he knew. He knew resistance was futile and that we were going home that day with two kittens. And so we did!

This is Daisy:

And her sister (same litter), Nala:

The SPCA representative told us that the kittens and their mother had been found living outside near someone's house, and the kittens were suspected to be around 4 months old. No one had claimed them in the time since they had been rescued (about 2 months).

Daisy was quite affectionate and needy - and just gorgeous - so we named her after a character from the TV show 'Dead Like Me'. Nala is named for a character in the movie 'The Lion King'. Darren felt that she was the stronger of the two kittens and definitely the protector.

While Daisy was affectionate from the first minute, Nala was a bit stand-offish for a while.

Still, the girls often nap together, even as they have gotten older:

They love cuddling with me first thing in the morning, which is an adorable way to start the day. :)

Part 2 here.

Happy New Year!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 04 May 2013 05:21:00 +0000

Happy New Year!

Yep...I'm a bit late with that. I'm just crawling out from the rubble that was tax season this year, and it feels like 2013 has just started for me! I practically missed all of the gorgeous Wellington summer, and every single Fringe Festival show (the first time in 6 years!).

We haven't updated this blog in YONKS, but am hoping to do more with it this year, including updating on all the happenings since our last post!

In the meantime, let me know if anyone is still out there...

The Hobbit!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 10:14:00 +0000

Yep, it's been a while...we've just been busy living in this city that we love. I hope to be able to post more, especially about our 6 year anniversary!

In the meantime, Wellington has Hobbit fever. Here are some pictures of the installation on top of the Embassy Theatre:

Happy New Year!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 11:24:00 +0000

While it's cool to see the New Year before most of the world, we do miss seeing the ball drop in Times Square. Perhaps one of our TV stations will cover it later today..?

In any case, Happy New Year to everyone out there! May 2011 be even better than 2010. Who knows what could happen this year? (Maybe even more blog posts from us?)

It's Ours

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 09:49:00 +0000

All the newspapers headlined the "victory" of keeping the Hobbit here last week. Truthfully, it's a fight that never should have happened (and would not have happened if the Australian union had kept its nose out of the whole thing).

Prime Minister John Key convinced Warner Brothers to keep the movie in New Zealand by offering additional tax cuts and agreeing to change our Labour Law to make it more clear that independent contractors hired as such for films could not be considered employees at a later stage.

Of course, there are people (and the Labour Party in general) who disagree with the law change - which was enacted quickly in an emergency overnight session - and say that Warner Brothers "bought" New Zealand.

Ridiculous! As I've pointed out before, the law was ambiguous at best, and certainly needed to be cleaned up.

However...I completely expect a backlash from all the other industries (including the Oil & Gas industry) out there who regularly use independent contractors. I'm certain they will ask for the new law to include them as well. Will be interesting to see how this all plays out!

In the meantime, more and more people are expected to move to Wellington, even for just a short time. Those who work behind the scenes are breathing easier now, knowing that regular paychecks are coming their way for at least 2 years. And Middle Earth remains "ours".

To Hobbit or not to Hobbit

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 23:15:00 +0000

As some of you may know, there is a lot of controversy around the filming of the Hobbit in New Zealand. An actor's union from Australia (who has some members in New Zealand) decided to call for a blacklist of Sir Peter Jackson's (PJ) film unless he agreed to a "collective agreement" with the union.

Firstly, and most importantly, the "collective agreement" is illegal, as none of the union members are currently employees of any of the companies PJ owns. PJ refused to meet with the union, as their request was illegal, and the fur started to fly from there.

I read another poorly written "news" article in the Herald this morning, and I felt it was time to clear up some facts.

1) Weta, Three Foot Six (not "3 foot 7" as stated in said article) and other affiliated film industry companies hire their workers as contractors. This is due to many reasons, but mostly because they cannot afford to pay people if there is no work for them to do. Work on a film is sporadic, and subject to delays. This is a part of the business - especially in a small country - and one that Darren is quite familiar with.

2) Every article about this issue has referenced a (NZ) Supreme Court ruling in 2005 that held a former contractor who worked on the LOTR movies in miniatures was deemed to be an employee. I've gone back to read the ruling and this is what I discovered:

The person in question was hired as a contractor by Weta, and later seconded to Three Foot Six. A contract with Three Foot Six was not immediately drawn up or signed, but did eventually happen. When the work ran out, and the contractor was told there was no work for him, he decided he was "unjustifiably dismissed" (which can only happen if you are an employee).

He first filed a claim with the Employment Relations Authority, who did not agree with him. He then appealed to the Employment Court, who did find that he was an employee by applying particular tests within the law. Three Foot Six appealed that decision to the Court of Appeals which overturned the Employment Court decision, only for the 'employee' to appeal that decision to the Supreme Court.

The Supreme Court simply stated that the Court of Appeal had not been entitled to hear the appeal (as there was no error of law), and reinstated the original decision made by the Employment Court. The Supreme Court did not set any laws around the distinction between Independent Contractor or Employee.

3) So. The issue at the heart of all of this is Independent Contractor vs Employee. This is an expensive issue, as potentially thousands of people in New Zealand will be hired to work on the Hobbit. If all of them decide they were actually employees and bring a lawsuit against Weta/Three Foot Six or Warner Brothers, the cost of the film could increase significantly. This is the uncertainty that Warner Brothers is worried about.

4) The Independent Contractor/Employee test is not a clear one, and instead is based on a long checklist. It's a series of subjective tests. This is the law that Warner Brothers came to discuss with John Key this week. They simply want assurances that if workers are hired as independent contractors that they will not be deemed as employees later on down the line.

5) Finally, the law is not a Tax law - it is an Employment law. If the law changes, it changes for all companies in New Zealand - including the one I work for. As my company also is in an industry that frequently hires contractors, we have already undertaken a risk-analysis of our contractor relationships.

I understand the Herald wants to keep the average New Zealander informed of the situation on a 'real time' basis, but they are skewing the facts for the story, and letting the idiots who head the unions (looking at you Helen Kelly) to comment on Employment law.

Adventures in Spa-ing

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 11:21:00 +0000

Even though we've lived in Wellington quite a while, we have yet to find a day spa that is top quality. Not that we've been looking, really, as we found a fantastic massage therapist years ago. However, after a couple stays at the amazing Westin Auckland (and several treatments at the equally impressive Senses Spa located in the hotel) I've been determined to find my "go to" place closer to home. I'd also like to be able to have a fun girl day with my sis-in-law when she comes to visit next year...

So! To that end, I have been perusing the "one day sale" sites - Daily Do, Groupy, GrabOne etc. - and taking them up on whatever spa offers they may have.

Now, the first adventure was not intended as an adventure, and was not one that I bought discounted on the internet. Back in July, I wanted to treat Darren for his birthday and get him a relaxation massage in a nice spa. (And ok, me too!) I had heard good things about East Day Spa (purposely not linked) and without any other ideas, decided to book there.

Like many spas, East Day Spa (EDS) offers a massage treatment where couples can be in the same room together. It's a lovely shared relaxing experience. Well...it's supposed to be. I called EDS to book our massage, and being the accountant that I am, asked why the massage for two was $20 more than the price of two massages separately. I was told that there was a fee for requesting the one room that allows for two tables. Not one to pay extra for nothing, I immediately requested two separate rooms for our massages - only to be told that they did not have two separate rooms for the day that I wanted. No worries, I'll book for another weekend - but they insisted they could get us in on the day we wanted, in the double room. I agreed, but only at the lower price, as I was not specifically requesting that room.

(Please note at the Senses Spa, the cost of a couple massage is actually *lower* than the price of two single massages.)

So, we show up to the EDS premises in an office/retail building across from the bus and train stations. It's a couple of stories above street level, and as far as I could tell, relatively quiet. The reception area was nice and we were immediately shown to the relaxation room. I thought the room was fine, but Darren wasn't impressed. He said he could hear the staff room next door and other various sounds.

Eventually, one of our massage therapists met us in the relaxation room and talked to us about what pressure we preferred and scented oil we wanted. I generally do not like being massaged with oil, especially if the massage will include a head massage (as this one would). However, there didn't seem to be any other choices, so we picked our scent and were shown to our room.

The room was nice enough, although it was some odd mosquito netting above each table. There was a little box to put our valuables, which was a great touch. Once we were comfortable, our therapists came in and started to work. Darren's therapist put her oil bottle above his right shoulder, while mine placed hers against my side. While Darren was completely unaware of where the bottle was on his table, I was trying to figure out why my therapist has spilled cold oil all over my side and left it there. She hadn't, but eventually she did move the bottle.

However, Darren tipped his bottle over while repositioning his arm to be massaged, leaving his shoulder in a pool of oil for the remainder of his massage. This on top of the constant struggle with his therapist over the preferred pressure he had indicated earlier.

As we tried to relax, I noticed the music...light drumming leading to heavier and heavier war-type thumping with actual monkey screams in the background. Not relaxing! What are we supposed to do in that situation? Stop the massage and ask for different music? Would we still get an entire hour? I'm just not sure why war music would be played in a spa in the first place.

Towards the end of the massage, my therapist massaged my head (and thus my hair) with oily hands as fearfully expected. It took 3 shampoo-ings to get it out later that day. The worst side effect of the use of oil, though, was that we were both made to sit up 10 minutes before the end of the massage time to let our therapists wipe the oil off of our backs/necks/arms etc. with hot towels (which had to be retrieved from outside of the room). This not only took away massage time, but disturbed the relaxation and typical slow recovery from the massage.

On our way out, the receptionist asked about our experience. I was honest with her, and commented that it was not an ideal experience. She did not ask any further questions - just asked for payment. That inspired me to write a complaint detailing our experience on the EDS 'contact us' page of their website. Above the form, it states "We will do everything we can to reply within 24 hours". Three weeks later, I still hadn't heard back from anyone.

We live in an amazing world of technology, with several ways to connect with other humans, such as Facebook. Turns out EDS has a page on Facebook, so I joined it and left a simple message stating that I had not been contacted about my feedback. It seems the Facebook page is run by the Auckland or Bali spas, and they were efficient and friendly. They promised someone would contact me as soon as possible.

Not too long afterwards, I received an email from a person I assumed to be the manager of the spa. She stated that she had tried to contact me, but I was never home and she only reached my answering machine. No explanation as to why she did not leave a message (although later she claimed that she had!) or why she didn't email me earlier. In any case, she called me a couple days later to discuss my feedback.

The phone conversation began with her asking why I didn't feel comfortable asking for a product other than oil. I explained that it was the spa's responsibility to anticipate the needs and preferences of their guests. I explained that we are both experienced spa patrons and have been to some of the top quality spas in the country (and the world), including Senses at the Westin. She then went on to give me the detailed background of Darren's therapist and why we were wrong to think she didn't provide a top-quality massage.

[Let me just note that Darren is a trained massage therapist himself (and quite skilled, I might add), and is very picky. And when paying $80 for a 50 minute massage, he is allowed to be picky.]

The rest of the conversation was equally frustrating and not at all friendly. The manager (who actually turned out to be the owner) did eventually offer the partial refund I requested after first trying to get us back into the spa for a complimentary and sure-to-be-oily massage. Of course, that refund was initiated when I commented on the EDS Facebook page again 3 days later - not that afternoon, as promised.

The oddest part of the phone conversation was the very end - the owner quickly stated "We are not the Westin" before hanging up on me. To that I can only say, that is too true.

Your Vote Your Community

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 07:40:00 +0000

Those are the words imprinted on the envelope used to mail in our voting papers. Since moving here in 2006, this is the second New Zealand election we've taken part in. Unlike the US (and perhaps other countries), Permanent Residents are not only allowed to vote, they are required by law to be enrolled.

As you can see from the picture, this election was a local one and did not require going to a polling place. Instead, the voting papers were mailed to us a couple of weeks ago; we simply filled out our choices for Mayor, City Council and District Health Board and mailed the papers back in.

Well...Darren mailed his back in. I ran out of time and dropped off my papers at the ballot box set up in the Public Library.

The particular voting system for local elections is a complicated one - it is called the Single Transferable Vote System. You can read more about it here, if you are so interested.

It was exciting to vote, even though the elections didn't turn out exactly as we hoped. It is empowering to be able to have a say in our chosen country, even though we are not (yet) citizens.

Funny Wellington Video

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 01:19:00 +0000

We came across this video a couple of weeks ago and had a good chuckle. Much of it is true, and all of it is tongue-in-cheek. We love this odd little city!

Where the hell are my teeth???

noreply@blogger.com (dmosher626) — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 01:54:00 +0000

Technically they are currently residing in a pill bottle in my bag after having 5 of them removed last night. Yep, after a few weeks of misery I finally went through with it and had teeth removed. Now this is my first time, so I can not compare the event to one in the US, however I am attempting to explain how it worked here in NZ. For the purpose of time and energy (I am a bit tired today) I will omit anything regarding insurance info, etc.

For this to work I have to start a few weeks back. I was having tooth pain and one of my teeth cracked (don't ask). Anyway it was a pretty annoying, throbbing kind of pain that got worse and worse. Finally I broke down over the weekend and called Dentist #1 at Symes Desilva. As it turns out there are a few Dental places that are open on weekends, but this was the one I could get an appointment with in an emergency and wasn't ridiculously priced. That day I was brought in and advised that 4 wisdom teeth and the broken tooth had to come out. I was then advised of the price, at which point I laughed (hard to do with a mouth full of cotton and tools), went home and decided to see if insurance would cover this. As a side note, Symes De Silva was very efficient, and very good. The bedside manner was a little lacking, but what do you expect for the price and timing? The final price was about $90. Not too bad in an emergency.

I had then decided I should seek out alternative options in the " knock me out and get this thing out of my head category", since Symes De Silva only does pills and locals(not enough for me), and I was still waiting on insurance.

I then headed to Dentist #2 - The Gentle Dental (no website just contact #'s) for a 2nd checkup and got my 2nd opinion verified plus full X-Rays and a referral for about $100; also not bad. If you do go here, don't let the building or front office fool you (it doesn't look that posh), they are very good, have a great chair-side manner and are very helpful. The dentist even went over all of the particulars with the digital X-Rays, so there were no guesses involved.

Afterwards, I found out that insurance does in fact cover at least some of the operation if:

a) it is NEEDED

b) it is performed by an oral surgeon

c) you are fully unconscious

OK that last one wasn't so much an insurance requirement as a Darren requirement.

Next Stop? Oral Surgeon. Wayne Gillingham of Wellington Oral Surgery Ltd was very good, very efficient (if not a little too fast) and knew what he was doing. Though he spoke and worked very quickly (I felt a little rushed) I was very comfortable and relaxed as he explained both the good and possible bad points of the operation. I was advised at this point that I could be FULLY UNCONSCIOUS. Woohooo! I walked away nervous but happy to have it finally on its way and for only $200 (which insurance will cover a large portion of, thankfully).

The final stop was yesterday afternoon's trip to Boulcott Hospital at 3:00pm for a 5 part tooth extraction. Big Fun! Was I nervous? Yes. Was I hungry/thirsty? yes (nothing to eat or drink after 7:30am), was I drugged? Hell yes! After going over the paperwork and telling Dawn I loved her I was taken to the operating room, where the best IV I have ever had ( I literally felt NOTHING and that was pre-drugs) was put in, we talked for a few minutes and then I was out cold.

I woke up with what was described to me as short term amnesia, having no idea where I was or how I got there for a few minutes. My brain began functioning in its semi-normal state and all was well. I was returned to my room and loving wife to pass out intermittently for a few hours.

They gave me my teeth, took out the IV, walked me through the plethora of drugs I could take to dull the pain and swelling and called for our friend Mike to come get us. (Thanks again bro!)

My teeth were given to me in a pill container (which I apparently, though, have know memory of doing), shook them at Dawn just to gross her out. Yep even drugged out I am a sick bastard.

So... now it is the next day not quite 24 hours since I went under the knife. I am a bit swollen and eating soft foods, but feeling much better. The slight pain I feel now I know will get a little worse but will still be better that then agonizing pain I was going through, so that's nice. Hoping all will be well for Tuesday when I go back to my students. Oh yes... I am teaching now, but that will be for my next post to explain. Check out the ice-pack/head gear I get to wear - very sexy.

In the end I learned not be afraid of Dentists, they are not all bad and do a shit job for a decent amount of money (like lawyers, only without the tails and horns ... hehehe). Thanks for reading and hope it helps some of you. Drop me a line if you have any questions or want referrals to anything.

[Editor's note: the surgery and surgeon consultation costs were covered under the general surgery clause of the private insurance I receive through my employer. We have not opted for dental insurance, and even private health insurance is relatively rare in New Zealand. -dawn]