Kidzee Kasavanahalli

Factors that Influence Child Rearing

2014-11-15T00:30:00.000-08:00

Child rearing plays a significant role in the all-round development of children. Studies indicate that the development of the 'whole' child- - -physical, mental and emotional, is generally influenced by a wide range of factors. However, most of these influences revolve around parent's personalities, lifestyle, attitudes and values. A balanced combination of these could have a direct bearing on the child's adult years.

Experts in the field strongly suggest that all well-meaning parents focus on all of the multiple factors that influence child rearing. Factors like race, religion, culture, genetics, education, environment, economic status and patterns of socialization, can all influence the process of child rearing and have a deep-rooted lifetime impact on children's lives.

To better understand the full impact of factors that influence child rearing, the writer encourages you to read on:

- Family has the most powerful influence on child rearing. The values ingrained, the habits formed and the quality of communication between family members can play a critical role in the early formative years of child development. Indeed, family upbringing could have a lifelong impact on an individual. A lot also depends on how the parents themselves were raised. Parents, who are the product of broken or abusive homes, may not be in a position to make a positive contribution to the entire child rearing process. In such a scenario, parents could have negative influence wherein children could suffer from neglect, abuse or plain indifference.

- Social factors do play a prominent role in influencing the child rearing process. Communities, religious and social groups, social norms of behavior and etiquette influence parenting styles and motivate parents to interact with children in different ways. The social status of parents can also influence their child rearing style. Parental aspirations for children may largely be dependent on the families they periodically socialize with. For example, children from families who own fancy cars and latest tech gadgets expect many more good things from life than their less affluent counterparts.

- Economic background does have a large influence on child-rearing. It has been found that the quality of child rearing could be negatively affected where parents have to struggle to make ends meet. Although most parents may be able to provide the basic needs to their children, providing quality health care, better schools and homes and other upscale amenities, are all possible by those parents who have a high spending power. It is these parents who tend to offer their children quality extracurricular activities like taking expensive music lessons, art classes or special coaching classes in sports.

- Educational background of parents also influences the direction which child rearing takes. Highly educated parents tend to focus more on providing the best possible education to their children than parents who are uneducated. Educated parents understand the importance of education and spare no expense in enrolling their children into prestigious schools and colleges. They also take time to actively monitor and guide their children in the pursuit of their academic goals.

- Conclusion

Although all the above enumerated factors influence the child rearing practices, psychologists strongly believe that every parent can yield the most profound influence on their children's lives. It is they, who have the unique privilege and responsibility of raising children to become successful adults. It is their vision, interest and time, their determination and their loving guidance that can make it possible for parents despite their circumstances, to raise responsible, productive and well-adjusted children.

Courtesy: http://fabulously40.com/blog/id/factors-that-influence-child-rearing-24192

Bringing up children

2014-11-14T12:07:00.000-08:00

Bringing up children

Raising a child is the hardest, most responsible and satisfying task a human being can face. It's also the job for which people receive the least formal training.
Each person's knowledge of how to bring up a child usually comes from their surroundings and their own upbringing. This may result in patterns from the parent's own social experiences being repeated and passed on to their children.

Parents are role models

Parents are the most influential role models children are likely to have. Parents who pay compliments and show respect, kindness, honesty, friendliness, hospitality and generosity to their children will encourage them to behave in the same way.
Parents should express their unconditional love for their children, as well as provide them with the continued support they need to become self-assured and happy.
It's also important that parents set reasonable expectations for their children and tell them in plain words what they expect from them.

Why is discipline necessary?

Discipline is crucial when bringing up a child. All children need and want reasonable boundaries. Through discipline your child learns that some kinds of behaviour are acceptable and others are not. Setting boundaries for children's behaviour helps them to learn how to behave in society.
Discipline is difficult to deal with because it demands consistency. Being a parent is a 24-hour job. The rules have to apply every day.
Inconsistency and lack of discipline create confused and rootless children – who will test their parents constantly to find out what the world is all about. This is why parents, who put in the effort every day to provide consistent boundaries to their children, will (eventually!) end up with better behaved kids.

Spending enough time with your children

A child's greatest need is quality time with their parents.
Finding time to spend together as a family can be difficult. In many households, parents have to go to work, which limits the time they have to spend with their children. In addition, children are involved in school and other activities.
Try to arrange a time each day, such as during breakfast or dinner, when the entire family can be together. Fixed routines are important for children.
It's also a good idea for everyone to get together and talk. Mealtimes provide a perfect opportunity to chat about the events of the day. Everybody should take part in the conversation: parents should pay attention and show interest in whatever their children say.
Make it a family rule that everyone eats together and stays at the table, at least until everyone has finished eating. This encourages them not to rush their food – but more importantly it gives an opportunity for conversation.
Children like to have special days reserved for special activities. For example, Thursday afternoon at the library with Dad, or Friday night swimming with Mum. Such rituals and routines build strong families.
Encourage your children to take part in planning activities. It's good for a family to do a variety of fun things together, such as playing games and going to the movies or concerts.

What will good communication teach children?

Offering explanations will help children work matters out for themselves. Take time to point out how things are connected, for example, in terms of cause and effect.
Parents, who think out loud with their children, will see them develop a similar train of thought. They will learn to talk and think in a more sophisticated way.
If parents express emotions and feelings, their children will learn it's okay to do the same.
When your children want to talk or ask questions, encourage them. If you're dismissive, or always say you're too busy, they may express frustration and stop wanting to share their thoughts and feelings.
If the family has a problem that concerns your child, involve them in the discussion. Try to find possible solutions together with him or her.
When discussing options, also talk about consequences. The possible outcome will influence your final decision. Be open to the child's suggestions. Let them take part in the negotiations and the decision.
A child who experiences this kind of communication will become confident and learn the rules of good communication.

Courtesy: Reviewed by Dr Stuart Crisp,consultant pediatrician

When your child wants to eat everything in sight

2014-04-19T23:00:00.000-07:00

Looking back, I should have known the first time my son’s jaw clamped tightly around my breast without guidance or prodding. “Oh my, he knows what to do with that!” the nurse exclaimed, as I looked on with a mix of wonderment and terror. This was indeed the beginning of Anthony’s gluttonous ways.

Other hints came along the way, like the countdown to the loud sucking slurp of air as he gulped the last drop of milk telling me he was finished, and yet not so finished since I had to wrestle the bottle out of his mouth. “That’s it, you’re done!” I would yell, frustrated over not being able to produce enough milk to satiate his appetite. Months later, when I complained to the pediatrician that he was still waking up in the middle of the night for a feeding, she said he just had to unlearn the middle-of-the-night feeding pattern. I was to give him water instead of milk to trick him into thinking it wasn’t worth waking up for. Well, that first attempt of trickery ended with him guzzling the water bottle dry in his usual tempo, except he wouldn’t go back to sleep because he was still hungry.

Maybe it had nothing to do with learned behaviour. Maybe genes were to blame for his voracious appetite. Shortly after giving birth, my father cradled his first grandchild and beamed proudly over the nine-pound bundle. As he rocked him back and forth, he repeated a phrase that would foretell their favourite pastime. “Waaaait, you just wait and see what we’re going to eat together when you grow up!”

It got better, and worse, in that first year of his life. His appetite was more easily satiated when he began eating solid food, but then the problem shifted. Every time he saw someone eating, his eyes grew wide and he howled for a piece of the action. I resorted to hiding behind kitchen cupboards to eat and peeking over the edge to make sure he hadn’t moved within closer range.

Then it got scary. Once during supper, he played happily with his spaghetti, squashing it in his fists and shoving it into his mouth. After the pasta, he gobbled some salad and let out a loud cough. Then his face turned splotchy blue and he stopped breathing. I sat frozen and shocked for a few harrowing seconds as I waited for my brain to catch up and tell me what to do. Before I could react, a piece of wilted lettuce projected out of his mouth onto the tray of his high chair. Without a whimper or a tear, his plump fist snatched the exhausted piece of lettuce and stuffed it back in his mouth before anyone could take it away. Even in the face of suffocation, the kid still wanted to eat!

Eventually, somewhere during the terrible hungry twos, I knew for certain this food obsession wasn’t another growth spurt or a passing phase. I awoke in the middle of the night to hear him crying out. Dazed from sleep, I wasn’t sure I’d heard right. But there was no denying it when he repeated it a second time. As he tossed about in his sleep, he yelled out in a demanding voice: “I want a bagel with A LOT of cream cheese!” Yes, the poor child was consumed by food even in his dreams.

As he got older, I worried that he would grow up to be overweight because of his appetite. At every annual check-up I shared my concern about his humongous appetite with his doctor. Although tall for his age, his weight began to creep over the height-weight balance he had managed to maintain in his growth chart. The pediatrican said his weight could become an issue if we weren’t careful. She advised me to limit treats to special occasions and up his physical activities. Treats weren’t the problem as I already limited their availability; it was the portion size of his meals that worried me. I tried to control it when he was home but I couldn’t police everything he put in his mouth. I decided to teach him some of the tricks I used to make healthy eating choices. I taught him to read the serving size on packaged snacks, so that he knew a cookie snack meant two or three cookies, not a stack as tall as the milk glass. Ultimately, he wanted to know where on the nutrition label it said how long before you could have another serving.

I needed allies in this battle, so I enlisted my parents’ help when he went for a visit or a sleepover; they promised to enforce good eating habits. The problem was they were simply in awe when they put a plate of food in front of him; watching him eat was part of their pleasure, and eating was his. They were co-dependents in this battle with food. When I asked Anthony if his grandparents gave him snacks when they shouldn’t have, he said, “What snacks? You know they don’t buy the kind of snacks I like. When I ask them for a snack, it’s epic meal time!”

I shared my concerns with other parents hoping to find answers or solace in those with the same worries. Did other parents feel like the food police? How did they know if they were doing enough to make sure their kids ate well? Was everyone worried like me? I noticed most parents were quick to lament how much their children preferred sugary snacks over a plate of veggies but the conversation usually strayed from there, especially when their child was obviously overweight. Instead, parents used cutesy phrases like ‘overactive taste buds’ or ‘future food critic’ and dismissed my worries with assumptions like, ‘don’t worry, it’s baby fat’ or ‘it will resolve itself as he grows.’ It was rare to find a parent of a ravenous eater who readily admitted my inner fear: Would my kid grow up to be overweight?

One parent, whose son’s size and tastes matched my son’s, admitted her messages of balanced eating missed the mark time and again. Her son understood that fresh fruit was better than a bag of chips, but his version of balance was snacking on cherries while dipping every second one in Nutella. When I asked what her pediatrican thought, she confessed, “I stopped taking my kids to the pediatrican after he told me they were fat. He told me right in front of my daughter (who was 10 at the time) and she refused to go back!” This made me wonder about some doctors’ bedside manner but also if maybe some parents didn’t notice or admit their child was at an unhealthy weight. Add the sobering childhood obesity statistics to the mix, and how’s a parent of a ravenous eater supposed to cope?

Children obviously come in different shapes and sizes and grow at different rates, but generally changes in height and weight follow a regular pattern as they grow. I realized helping Anthony tame his appetite was going to take time and lots of patience, especially since research shows that the longer a child remains overweight, the chances are that he or she will carry this weight into adulthood.

Back at our house, the hours after supper were a combination of winding down and winding up. A bedtime snack was always followed by reading together, or him playing while I wrote in my journal. Once, I asked if he wanted me to write something in my journal for him. He rolled his eyes upward as he reflected. “Yeah sure, write that I’m hungry.” Although I laughed aloud, he was serious.

His passion for food wasn’t limited to what he put in his mouth, it spilled over into his descriptions, so a simple query of “What do you want for breakfast?” was met with “Two eggs sunny side up, yolks that dunk like quicksand and a glass of orange burst juice… please?” I can’t recall how many times I’ve been declared the world’s best mom at the kitchen table.

Food and weight gain were a recurring struggle up until he went to high school. His passion for all things edible didn’t change, but by 14 he had shot up to a robust height just shy of six feet. I still fathom at his size since he’s the product of average-sized parents. In some ways, it’s a consolation for all the worry and fighting that centered around eating, but more importantly, I know that my watchfulness has paid off. Now, he’s more aware and concerned of the fuel he puts in his body and the eating choices he makes.

When I mention maybe turning his passion into a profession by becoming a gourmet chef, he replies, “I’d rather be a food taster, that way, I’d get paid to eat.”

Courtesy: Voula Plagakis

How to cope when your child has a seizure from fever

2014-04-18T23:00:00.000-07:00

In January 2012, I was flying home from Dubai with my husband and our two daughters. We had just settled into our 14-hour flight to Toronto. Our two-and-a-half-year-old was content watching a movie and our 14-month-old, Amelia, was asleep on my chest. It was smooth sailing, until Amelia vomited. That’s when I realized that her eyes were glassy, she was burning up, shaking and unresponsive. As my husband called for a flight attendant, the situation quickly escalated; Amelia was now violently convulsing and foaming at the mouth. The plane was over water, there was no way out. We thought we were going to lose our baby. It was the longest fi ve minutes of my life and Amelia’s only febrile seizure to date.

Children who have a febrile seizure are generally healthy kids, Amelia just happened to react to this particular fever in a drastic manner.

Febrile seizures are episodes of uncontrollable jerking movements that are provoked by a fever, typically occurring without warning as the fever begins to spike. Children who have a history of febrile seizures can seize at any fever over 38°C. Approximately one in every 25 children between six months and five years will have one febrile seizure. About 30 percent of these children will have subsequent ones.

“Febrile seizures are most common in the second year of life, peaking at 18 months of age,” says Dr. Elizabeth Donner, pediatric neurologist at SickKids Hospital in Toronto and associate professor at the University of Toronto. Although there is no known cause for febrile seizures, there appears to be a strong genetic component. While terrifying, they are often short and harmless, and kids usually bounce back quickly from a single, typical febrile seizure. Most febrile seizures last less than fi ve minutes, says Dr. Donner. However, if the seizure lasts longer than fi ve minutes, call an ambulance right away.

Your child will be drowsy and confused after the seizure so let him or her sleep. Treat the fever, keep the child well hydrated and avoid heavy blankets. Take the child to a doctor as soon as possible; the doctor will want to determine the cause of the fever and will want you to describe the seizure. How long did it last? How did the child look and move? The doctor will also likely ask you about the child’s development. All of this information will help the doctor to determine the type of febrile seizure and help rule out any other brain dysfunction.

Once the fever breaks, give yourself and your child a day on the couch; you both deserve it. And try to find solace in knowing that not every fever will result in a febrile seizure and that your child will outgrow it.

When febrile seizures strike

Remain calm.
Check the time so you have a rough idea of how long the seizure lasts.
Keep the child safe by clearing the area and rolling the child gently on the side, or at least turning their head to the side so that fluid can drain from the mouth.
Place something soft under the child’s head.
Loosen tight clothing (especially around the neck) and remove glasses.
Never restrain the child or place anything in the mouth (they will not swallow their tongue).
Never submerge the child in water or give the child medication, unless instructed to do so by a doctor. You have to wait it out. It will stop.

Risks factors for subsequent febrile seizures:

Family history of febrile seizure
Have a first febrile seizure before the age of 18 months
Having a seizure very soon after the onset of fever (within one hour)
Moderate fever at the time of the seizure (between 39°C to 40°C)

Courtesy: Pamela Mazzuca

Good Night Sleep Site can help toddlers having trouble sleeping

2014-04-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

I read somewhere that a person will die from lack of sleep, before they die from lack of food. Interesting bit of trivia or accurate fact? As any new parent can attest to, when you’re exhausted taking care of a newborn, you’ll choose sleep over a meal any day.

Once my husband and I settled into somewhat of a “routine” after bringing our newborn daughter home from the hospital, friends and family started asking the famous question: “How is she sleeping?”

We were very, very fortune (knock on wood) to have a “good sleeper.” Perhaps it was due to her above average birth weight (nine pounds and one ounce), inherited genes from her mother who loves to sleep or maybe the sleep gods took pity upon our new family and gave us a break. Whatever the reason, I can honestly say we have been fairly fortunate, so far, in being blessed with a little one who sleeps well. And my hope is that by writing these words I have not jinxed our good fortune.

For parents who have become walking zombies and are pretty much at their wits end with how to help their baby sleep better, I can tell you there is help for you!

Good Night Sleep Site can provide you with emotional and educational support to help your baby or toddler with their sleep needs. Their philosophy is that there isn’t one method to sleep training and we don't choose one over another.

Their certified sleep consultants work with you and your family to set up a sleep plan that you are comfortable with to help your baby or toddler become a great sleeper.

Whether you are a first time parent, a been-there-done-that parent or a parent of multiples, they can help.

Sleep is so important for our health, mood and general well-being that seeking outside help when your baby or toddler is struggling to sleep well is a necessity.

Courtesy: Carrie Kelley

Some germs can be good for your baby

2014-04-16T22:30:00.000-07:00

When my kids were babies, I remember being obsessive about ensuring everyone – including their dad – had properly washed or sanitized their hands before handling my precious little bundles. Some of my friends were even more protective.

But as my boys grew older, and began eating things like dirt and boogers – and attending daycare where there was rarely a child without a runny nose – I began to wonder if I needed to be so stringent. According to Dr. Dina Kulik, a pediatrician and emergency medicine doctor who works at Kindercare Paediatrics and SickKids hospital in Toronto, babies can benefit from germs.

“Regular germs are actually good for babies,” she says. “Children who are kept in too sterile an environment actually have higher risks of asthma and allergies than kids exposed to a ‘non sterile’ environment. Exposure to bacteria and viruses allow our immune system to grow, so we can better protect ourselves from harmful organisms.”

She also points out that excessive hand washing and sanitizing depletes the natural healthy and good bacteria from your skin. “These good bacteria help keep the bad bacterial levels at low levels. If you kill off too much good bacteria, bad bacteria have a chance to overpopulate,” says Dr. Kulik.

But hand washing isn’t the only way that babies are exposed to good germs. According to a recent pediatric study, bacteria can also be transferred to infants via pacifiers. The study found that children whose parents “cleaned” their pacifier by sucking it were less likely to have asthma, eczema and sensitization at 18 months of age than children whose parents did not lick their child’s pacifier clean. In this case, the study concluded that parental sucking of their infant’s pacifier may reduce these effects, possibly by transferring microbes to their infant by saliva, enabling them to build immunity.

Some caution, however, is warranted. Premature babies and young newborns have very immature immune systems. They haven’t yet been exposed to many bacteria or viruses and are more at risk of bad infections. “For these populations, I would be more cautious about exposure to pets and sick contacts. However, over time it’s important to gradually expose infants to people and pets. This will help build their immune system,” she says.

As they get older, children will naturally be exposed to more germs. “Young children have an average of 13 viral illnesses per year, so a persistent runny nose is normal in a young child,” says Dr. Kulik. “As a result, young children are surrounded by viral infections from their peers all the time. This is very hard to avoid.”

Over time, as their immune system recognizes these viruses, it can fight against them more easily. “That’s why adults often get fewer infections per year than a two-year-old.”

Dr. Kulik suggests keeping the following tips in mind:

Don’t purposely expose kids to viral infections, but don’t overprotect them from viral exposures, either.
Vaccines prevent against many serious infections. This is the best defense against significant illnesses that can cause death.
As always, if your child is unwell, he/she should be seen by their healthcare provider.
Ask your physician for more tips for building a strong immune system.

Courtesy: Erin Dym

Next steps: Baby’s transition to toddlerhood

2014-04-15T22:30:00.000-07:00

The phrase, “Don’t blink or you’ll miss it” is the perfect way to describe your baby’s transition to toddlerhood.

One moment, your little one is an infant who naps endlessly, and the next, you’re chasing your toddler through the house. With this rapid developmental growth (physical and behavioural), try to be prepared by staying one step ahead. Don’t wait until your child has outgrown their baby gear. Keep your home stocked with items for your child’s next stage.

One of the most important items to purchase early is a car seat. Infant carseats only last so long and it is unsafe to have your baby in a too-small seat. Do some research. Some carseats can hold a child up to 65 pounds, whereas others only go to 40 pounds (or less). It is also recommended to keep your little one in a rear-facing seat for as long as safely possible.

Here’s a list of must-haves for your growing child:

Diapers
Outgrowing diapers can cause messes you definitely want to avoid. Have a box of next-size diapers available. You might be sorry if you don’t.

Clothes
One day, your baby is swimming in a sleeper and the next, you’re having trouble doing up the buttons. Invest in some larger sleepers, onesies and t-shirts and keep them on hand, just in case.

Developmental toys
At first, an infant can be entertained by just about any random household item. But as they grow, babies need more mental stimulation. It’s always fun to pull out a new and exciting toy to play with.

Feeding accessories
Bottles and nipples are suited for specific stages. Keep your cupboards full of next-stage items. You might want to grab some sippy cups and toddler-friendly plates, bowls and utensils while you’re at it. And don’t forget the highchair.

Courtesy: http://www.parentscanada.com/toddler/next-steps-baby-s-transition-to-toddlerhood

Your baby's first 12 months

2014-04-14T22:30:00.000-07:00

First 8 Weeks

Physical Development

That little, wrinkly being will transform quickly over the first four weeks. Your baby will go from a tiny newborn creature to a mini human. You’ll be amazed at the changes each day.

Your child is born with reflexes and this may be the most action you see for a few weeks. These reflexes include:

Sucking reflex: A natural instinct to suck is a built-in feature of your baby. Preemies may need help developing this reflex, but in general, your baby will probably have no trouble sucking on anything that is placed in his mouth.

Rooting reflex: A baby’s natural hunt for food will be evident right away. If Mom places her nipple, a bottle nipple or a finger on Baby’s cheek or corner of the mouth, the baby will turn his head toward the object, looking for food.

Moro/startle reflex: If your child hears a loud noise or sees a quick movement, he may throw his head back and extend his arms and legs quickly, then draw them back in. A baby's own cry can actually trigger this reaction.

Grasping reflex: For the first couple months, your baby's hand will curl into a grasp when his palm is touched. That first grasp of Mom or Dad’s finger is a tear-jerker. Have the camera ready.

Behavioural Development

Babies form very strong emotional bonds from the get-go and nurturing this bonding during the first few weeks is key.

When you respond quickly to comfort your crying child, he learns to depend on you. Your comforting makes him feel more ready to explore his surroundings. If you ignore your baby’s cries, get angry with him or if you want your baby or child to comfort you, he will learn not to depend on you. Don’t worry about “spoiling” your baby. Babies aren’t spoiled if someone responds to their cries. Comforting babies is the best way to love them.

Try these other bonding tips:

Speak or sing quietly to your baby.
Look right into your baby’s eyes and trade facial expressions.
Hold your baby close.
Set aside time for skin-to-skin contact

Health

Parenting a newborn, especially for first-time parents, can be scary. Here are a couple health issues you might encounter in the first two months.

Diaper rash: Don’t stress because this is very common. Due to warmth and moisture, your baby’s delicate skin may become irritated. To help, change diapers frequently, use a thick layer of barrier paste/diaper cream and give your child some diaper-free time to dry out. If the rash persists, see your doc.
Heat rash: Tiny red dots are the calling card of heat rash. Typically, it will be found on the upper back, shoulders and chest. It usually goes away on its own, but to prevent it, avoid over-bundling your baby, dress your baby in breathable cotton clothing and reduce your baby’s exposure to heat and humidity.

Two to Three Months

Physical Development

Your little one is probably developing some strong neck muscles by now. This means he will be holding his head up when you hold him, and even lifting it when lying on his belly.

Your baby’s hand movements will become less jerky and more deliberate. He will reach for desired objects.

Behavioural Development

Everything is about the senses, particularly touch. Have different toys with various textures on hand (crinkle books, rattles, mobiles, teethers).

Those adorable coos and sighs will give way to louder grunts and vocal expressions. He may even hum! This is your baby’s only form of communication right now, so don’t forget to talk back. Swap stories, read books and sing songs to encourage language development.

Around this time you most likely get what you’ve been waiting for: a smile! A real, genuine, smile (not just “gas”)! You should be able to generate smiles with funny faces and voices. If you’re lucky, you might also get a laugh.

Health

Soon, you may have to deal with your baby’s first cold – and there are more to come. Babies can have up to 10 colds in their first year of life! Infants that have older siblings or spend time in daycare might seem as though they are always battling a cold. Common colds should pass in a few days. If you find your child develops labored breathing, has a persistant fever (for 48 hours or more) or is unable to keep fluids down, you should contact your doctor.

Four to Five Months

Physical Development

At this age, your little one should be able to bear weight on the legs (while you are holding his hands, obviously) and roll over easily. Your baby may also be able to sit up, unassisted, for a moment or two. Be sure to stick close by though, to offer a helping hand.

Your child will also master grasping toys and objects and should be able to control his hands well enough to bring objects to his mouth.

Behavioural Development

Get ready for an emotional roller coaster! Your baby will be able to now greet you (and other people he loves) with a smile and even raise his arms to be picked up. But be prepared; these highs are matched by lows. Some babies will cry if a parent leaves the room or if they are put down after being held. Babies may also “play strange” around new people.

Health

Some babies might begin teething now. For some it is earlier, and others much later, but in general, teeth will start making their way through. Signs of this include

Loss of appetite
Drooling
Fussiness
Biting
Restlessness
Swollen gums
Night waking
Ear pulling
Cheek rubbing

To help your teething baby, try these tricks:

Wipe the baby’s face often as drooling could cause a rash.
Cool a teething ring (don’t freeze it; it’ll be too hard). Ensure that it’s not filled with liquid, that it can’t break and is large enough not to choke on.
Offer a clean, cold wash cloth for baby to bite down on. (Use a clean one for each new use.)
Offer frozen cubes of breast milk (it freezes to a slushy, not solid consistency)

It should be noted that contrary to what many people believe, teething does not cause fever. If your child does have a prolonged fever, call your doctor.

Six to Eight Months

Physical Development

Babble, babble, babble! First words are right around the corner, but right now, your child is probably making one-syllable sounds like, “Ma! Da! Ba!” Playing repetition games is a great way to encourage talking.

Behavioural Development

Here comes a big milestone: solid foods! You can tell that your baby is ready for solid foods when he holds up his head, begins chewing motions and uses his tongue to move food into his mouth, instead of pushing it out. Reference Canada’s Food Guide to find which foods are best to start with. Introduce new foods three days apart. This will help identify allergies.

Health

By now, your child should have had a few vaccinations. Make sure that these are kept up-to-date!

Nine to Ten Months

Physical Development

Look out! Baby on the move! Chances are you will soon have a full-blown crawler on your hands. Help make this easier for your baby. You can dress your child so that he is more comfortable for exploring when he crawls. Crawling with bare knees can be rough on your baby’s skin, for example. And some garments can bunch up around the feet or catch under your baby’s knees (such as dresses). Cotton pants or overalls work better. This also means that you must baby-proof your whole home.

Behavioural Development

Unfortunately, at this age and stage, tantrums might be kicking in. Babies become frustrated with their limitations and hate being told “no”. Each child is different, and therefore each parent must make their own decisions with response to tantrums. Be patient and understand that this is all part of your child’s development. Good luck!

Eleven to Twelve Months

Physical Development

Introducing new activities will assist in your child’s brain development. Interacting with others, experiencing music and colours, engaging in social situations and playing with educational toys can add to the moments that can help create the person your child will become.

Babies are very sensitive to their physical surroundings and people around them. These interactions will affect how their brain pathways are formed.

Behavioural Development

You could be hearing first words now. First words fall into five categories: Names of people or things (such as “Mommy” or “juice”), action words (“go” or “eat”), places or directions (“up” or “down”), describing words (“hot”) and social words (“bye”). These words are important building blocks for later word combinations and for simple sentences that start at around two years. At this point, a child understands much more language than he can speak.

Health

With more teeth coming through, it is important to maintain your child’s dental health. When at least four teeth in a row have broken through your baby’s gums in the lower or upper jaw, you can start using a toothbrush for his oral hygiene. Use a toothbrush with a thicker handle; they are easier for small hands to hold. Your child will feel less frustration as he grows and wants to learn to brush his own teeth.

Courtesy: ParentsCanada staff

How to read your baby's sleep signals

2014-04-13T22:30:00.000-07:00

If you are the sleep-deprived parent of a newborn, you are not alone. While some newborns don’t seem to do much but eat, sleep and stay awake for short periods, others are fussy, more wakeful and have better things to do than sleep! Follow your baby’s lead and respond to all of his “signals”.

Practice Safe Sleeping

Health Canada and the Canadian Paediatric Society suggest these safe-sleep guidelines:

Always place your baby on his back to sleep until 12 months of age. The “Back to Sleep” position is associated with a reduced risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).
Do not let anyone smoke near your baby or where your baby sleeps. Exposure to smoke is one of the greatest risk factors for SIDS.
Avoid overheating your child. Keep the room temperature on the cool side of comfortable.
Babies should sleep on a firm, flat surface in a crib or bassinet for all sleep periods (car seats and infant swings should not replace the crib for sleep).
Ensure the crib meets current Health Canada regulations.
Keep the crib away from curtains, blind cords, lamps, electrical plugs and extension cords, and out of reach of small objects.

What to Expect

The total hours your baby sleeps will vary and can be unpredictable. Expect your baby to sleep for 10 to 19 hours in a 24-hour period (average is 13 to 15 hours). Remember that premature babies may sleep more.

Sleep Patterns

Newborns have many sleep periods throughout the day and night.
Sleep/wake periods are linked to hunger and feelings of fullness.
Most newborns are ready to sleep after one to two hours of being awake.
Breastfed babies generally sleep for one to three hours at a time.
Nighttime sleep starts to lengthen between six and 12 weeks.

Day/Night Reversal

Some newborns sleep more during the day than during the night. Here’s how to help:

Keep lights dim and noise to a minimum during nighttime feeds and diaper changes.
Increase your baby’s wakeful time during the day and wake him for feeds.
During the day, expose your baby to light (especially early morning natural light) and normal levels of noise, and increase play time.

Soothe Your Baby

Some newborns are soothed by swaddling, others by white noise or rocking. At this stage, many need help falling and returning to sleep. If your newborn needs your help, don’t worry about bad habits at this age. Feel free to rock, hold or feed Baby to sleep.

Establishing Healthy Sleep Habits

Keep Baby Well Rested

Try putting your newborn to sleep after one to two hours of being awake. It is important to avoid the overtired state, as babies often have a more difficult time falling asleep when they are overtired. Look for your baby’s signs that she is ready to sleep. These signs may include crying, rubbing her eyes, yawning, pulling on her ears or getting fussy.

Encourage Napping

Don’t deprive your baby of daytime sleep in hopes of getting her to sleep longer at night. This can actually lead to more difficulties with falling asleep and waking more frequently. Naps are also beneficial to your developing baby’s health, and, in fact, sleep experts believe that in young children, sleep begets sleep. That is, the better rested they are, the more easily sleep comes!

Develop a Consistent and Soothing Sleep Routine

In the first few weeks, you can start developing a bedtime routine and a briefer nap routine. Over time the routine will help cue to your baby that sleepy time is approaching. A bedtime routine should be predictable (the same every night) and calming. A routine may include having a bath, a massage, putting on pajamas, feeding and singing a song. A nap routine may consist of a feed, diaper change and song.

Put Your Baby Down to Sleep Drowsy, But Awake

When it comes to sleep, it is never too soon to start thinking about developing good sleep habits. When you notice that your baby is drowsy, place her in the crib and see if she can fall asleep on her own. At this young age, some babies seem to get the skill (and start sleeping for longer periods of time), while others don’t. Don’t worry if your baby has difficultly falling asleep on her own; keep trying. This skill will develop as she grows and as you give her more opportunities to practice.

You Need Sleep, Too!

Whether this is your first baby or not, parents are often in need of support and rest during the first few months of bringing home a new baby.

If you need a break, enlist the help of willing family and friends.
When you have extra time, catch up on much needed sleep.
Try to do something relaxing every day such as taking a walk, having a bath, or calling a friend.

Courtesy: Dr. Nicky Cohen

Proper eating habits start early

2014-04-12T22:30:00.000-07:00

Every parent wants their child to develop good eating habits. The kind that involve using a spoon or fork, saying please and thank you, and eating while sitting down. “Teaching starts from the very beginning,” says parenting coach Rosemary Greisman. “You want to establish early on the kind of eating habits you want your child to continue throughout their lives.” Rosemary recommends what you can start teaching and when, starting with the first day your baby eats solids.

Four to six months

Now is the time to start introducing your baby to solids. It’s important to expose them to lots of different foods when they are little so they have an expansive palate.
Let them experience different tastes. Even if they don’t like it, don’t give up. Try again the next week.
Balance vegetables, protein and starches by making your own or buying.
Put them in a high chair or secured booster seat.
Give your baby a spoon. They can’t use it yet but expose them to utensils early.

Six months to one year

Sit them at the table in a high chair when eating.
Share your food with your baby and introduce them to it in bite-sized pieces.
Turn off distractions like the TV and have conversations around the table.
Introduce a sippy cup.

One to three years

Teach your toddler to sit in a chair at the table; bring them back if they leave.
Keep introducing them to new tastes and textures.
Offer them a snack between each meal, such as fruit. Skipping sugar is the key. You can set up a low shelf of foods so they can help themselves. This will help to develop their independence and confidence but in a controlled way.
Introduce a regular cup. It may be messy, but it’s important that they have the opportunity to practise.
Use kid-friendly cutlery and plates to make eating fun. This is important when kids are little.
Teach them that throwing and spitting food is not acceptable.
Ensure that they eat even a small breakfast even if they say they aren’t hungry. Protein is especially important in the morning.
Offer milk, water or diluted juice to drink.
Don’t have foods or drinks in the house that you don’t want them to have, such as pop. Try to avoid packaged food but when you do buy packaged, read the labels to ensure there are no harmful sweeteners, oils or other hidden ingredients.

Courtesy: Erin Dym

Communication and social development

2014-04-11T22:30:00.000-07:00

Your baby's verbal skills continue to progress, however, as children concentrate on other milestones (such as walking), their language development may slow down slightly. His vocabulary is highly variable at this stage: he may utter his first words at 12 months and be able to say four words or more by 15 months. He may understand the meaning of many words. At approximately 18 months, there is a spurt in spoken language that often includes self-related words such as "me" and "mine" and "no!" when he's upset. Sentences may increase to two, words, such as "You go" and vocabulary may extend to 20 words.

Help him along with concise, easy-to-follow language accompanied by gestures. For example, use short sentences and simple language ("big bus", "nice cat"). Use gestures, as in shaking your head when you say “no”. Present one idea at a time, such as “Shoes on” while pointing at his feet. If you ask too much at once (i.e. “Put on your shoes, coat and hat”), he may not follow. Hold objects in front of your toddler and name them, then wait for your toddler to respond with a word, gesture or sound.

Encourage your child’s linguistic progression by taking his words and turning them into proper sentences. For example, a request for “milk!” turns into “You want more milk in your cup.” It will help him to expand his vocabulary and learn sentence structure. Play games that include simple directions, such as “Throw the ball to me.”

Between 12 – 15 months, your child will likely enjoy imitating your actions, such as talking on the phone or stirring a pot. Support your child’s burgeoning imagination with lots of pretend play: role playing, puppets, dolls, blocks, animal figures, and objects that he sees in “real life” such as play kitchen utensils, a toy telephone or a small dust broom.

Activities to Stimulate Toddler Development

Opportunities to support your toddler’s positive development are all around you. Take advantage of everyday tasks and events to help him learn and develop, all the while providing him with the best nutrition to nourish his milestone achievements.

Communication Development

Strong communication skills can be extremely advantageous as your child matures. Foster his language development right from the very beginning with these simple and enjoyable activities:

Talk him through an activity

Explain what you're doing as you do it. Speak clearly.

Let him see your face as you speak.

This way he can watch how your mouth makes sounds.

Speak at his level.

Don't use baby talk, or difficult words.
Stress the syllables.

Listen to him.

Build his confidence by showing him that what he says is important.

Encourage communication.

Say the words for objects you see every day.
Encourage him to say them back.

Don't point out mistakes.

Instead, repeat the whole sentence saying the word correctly.

Read together every day.

Early exposure to reading promotes strong reading skills in school-age children.

Read predictable books.

Soon he'll be "reading" it by herself.
Some good examples are: I Went Walking, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Peanut Butter and Jelly, Little Red Hen, and Goodnight Moon.

Use the mirror.

Let him make faces and name his body parts.

Explore his world.

Walk around your neighbourhood.
Talk about what you see.

Play with writing.

If he's interested in pencils and paper, let him try.

Play object Hide-and-Seek.

Hide a favourite toy and ask him to find it.

Play naming games.

Point to familiar things and ask him to name them.
Act out action words, like crawl, jump, or sleep.

Sing.

Introduce nursery rhymes, finger plays and counting rhymes. Listen to recordings.
Play imitating games, like "This is The Way We Wash Our Face" or "I'm A Little Teapot."

Why is Nutrition Important?

Healthy eating is important as it provides the energy and nutrients needed for growth and development. Your toddler will benefit from a variety of wholesome foods each day as he advances his cognitive, linguistic and social abilities.

Courtesy: Enfamil Canada

Nutrition: Omega3s are the fat that's good for your family

2014-04-01T22:30:00.000-07:00

Parents know that high-fat diets are not recommended for children, but there’s one fat that has been steadily making its way onto must-have nutrient lists, especially for growing bodies: omega-3 fats.

There are two types of omega-3 fatty acids that you may recognize by their acronyms: DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) and EPA (eicosapentaenoic). Research is showing that these omega-3s may offer a growing list of benefits that start during pregnancy.

These fats are essential for healthy neurological development of the fetus. Scientists have linked mom’s intake during pregnancy and breastfeeding of the omega-3 fats found in seafood, particularly DHA, to differences in various attention and intelligence tests during infancy and childhood. Higher DHA levels in moms have been linked to a child’s quicker processing of information in the brain, prolonged attention and higher intelligence scores.

Other research has backed up a connection between low intake of omega-3s and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) as well as behavioural problems. A recent Oxford University study of British children ages seven to nine, found that those who had the lowest levels of DHA in their blood had the most difficulty in their ability to concentrate and learn.

Foods rich in Omega-3s

Eating fish is by far, the easiest way to get omega-3s into your family’s diet. Cold water fish such as salmon, herring, sardines, mackerel and tuna are particularly rich sources of DHA and EPA.

All the revelations about the importance of omega-3 fats on brain development has led to an increase in omega-3s being added to foods, such as some yogurts, or added to the feed given to animals. Omega-3 eggs are a great example. Some of these eggs contain more DHA than ALA, while others supply more ALA, so be sure to read the labels.

A third type of omega-3 fats – ALA or alpha-linolenic acid – is also found in plant sources such as flaxseeds, chia seeds, walnuts, canola, hemp oil and leafy greens. While your body can convert ALA to the more potent DHA, it’s a very inefficient process. In other words, you would need to consume a lot of ALA to reap the rewards. Keep in mind, though, that studies show that a diet rich in plant omega-3s offers other benefits, such as anti-inflammatory action, plus a reduced risk of autoimmune disease and heart disease.

Adding fish to your diet is the easiest way to boost omega-3s, but there are barriers to getting kids to eat the recommended two servings of fish a week. For one, many kids turn their noses up at fish. Second, just do a quick Internet search on children and fish and you’ll probably see one warning after another about the contaminants found in fish.

Let’s clear up the murky waters about children and seafood. A major concern, particularly for pregnant and breastfeeding women and small children, is the mercury levels found in fish, in particular, large predatory fish. Fresh or frozen tuna, shark, swordfish, marlin, orange roughy and escolar along with canned white albacore tuna are among the offenders.

There is good news, though, for tuna lovers. White albacore tuna from British Columbia, both frozen and canned, is essentially mercury free and is a super way to meet omega-3 quotas. You can check online for where to purchase it. Salmon, whether farmed or wild, offers plenty of omega-3 fats without any mercury worries.

How to reel in your kids

Find a reputable source of good quality fish, whether fresh or frozen. There’s nothing like a strong fishy odour to turn off even those who are fish lovers.
As with other foods, repeated exposure helps to gain acceptance. If possible, get your children involved in the food prep and planning.
Canned fish, such as salmon or tuna, are terrific and convenient alternatives. For picky eaters, try making patties – fish mixed together with tasty fillers such as whole grain breadcrumbs or vegetables like sweet potatoes. While some people may not agree with hiding healthy food, tossing flaked into a favourite tomato sauce over pasta is an easy way to sneak these important nutrients into your child’s menu.

Courtesy: By Rosie Schwartz

The 7 gross things your kid is bound to do

2014-03-30T23:00:00.000-07:00

Sure there’s nose picking, but aside from that your little one will find more ways to gross you out before they reach their fifth birthday. Here are a few you can expect to come your way:

They’ll eat dirt.
Your child is a mini-Houdini. Crayons will somehow manage to fit in every orifice possible.
Take boogers to the next level. Besides eating them, you will find these green bits of grossness on your sofa, carpet, in the car, in your child’s hair, and other unsightly nooks and crannies.
Anything and everything will become a napkin.
Mix juice/milk/water with their entire plate of food creating a soupy mess you wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot-pole. They will find this delightful and chow down.
If it’s on the floor and resembles food it will, undoubtedly, become food. Luckily, their iron stomachs should be able to digest that three-week-old cheerio.
The words “put your clothes back on” will become part of your daily vocabulary as your little exhibitionist strips down anywhere and everywhere.

Courtesy: By ParentsCanada staff

5 Ways to promote literacy and learning through music

2014-03-29T23:30:00.000-07:00

Reading and writing are essential life skills. As adults, we use our skills in reading to acquire new information, whether we are reading instructions for putting together a shelving unit, or analyzing legal documents. Think about all of the times you use writing in a day. Perhaps your job requires you to write performance evaluations, proposals, memos or transcripts; or you may use writing to keep yourself organized on a daily basis with lists or schedules. Writing skills are no doubt essential.

Educators know how important an effective literacy program is, and promote literacy skills through integration with other subjects such as Science (e.g., science reports and opportunities to follow lab instructions) and Social Studies (e.g., writing a newspaper from the Medieval Times, or researching for a presentation on tools of the Aztecs). Although children are provided with numerous opportunities to develop their literacy skills at school, many students still struggle. There are some great ways in which parents and caregivers can help their children develop into competent readers and writers.

The balanced literacy diet

In February 2012, the long-awaited Balanced Literacy Diet was released. After many years of hard work, Dr. Dale Willows from the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education (OISE) and her team released The Balanced Literacy Diet website – making hundreds of research-based, model lessons in literacy available for educators and parents around the world. The Balanced Literacy Diet is a framework for understanding and teaching literacy, based upon 15 essential literacy “food groups”.

The Balanced Literacy Diet website devotes a page to parents, providing insight as to how children learn to read and write. Along with links to sites aimed at supporting your child’s literacy learning such as Starfall and Reading Rockets, the Balanced Literacy Diet identifies the importance of reading with your child on a daily basis.

Literacy through music

A study by Cunningham and Allington (2011), shows that when we see or hear words in a new context, our brain creates new synapses (connections) to those words, making it so crucial that children are exposed to vocabulary and other literacy skills in different and meaningful ways. Music has been one of the most effective tools in bringing meaning to new material including skills in literacy – tapping into the Balanced Literacy Diet’s component, Motivation for Literacy.

Many parents without musical training feel overwhelmed using music as a tool for learning. Do not fear, there are a number of ways YOU can enhance your child’s learning experience through music.

Here are five easy ways parents and caregivers can implement music education to improve literacy and learning:

1. Sing along with recordings of literacy-based songs with your child
Songs such as, Down by the Bay, and Willoughby Wallaby Woo by Raffi are fun and effective songs for teaching rhyming. The Jolly Phonics program also offers a CD with interactive songs to teach each sound in the alphabet.

2. Take advantage of how your school’s music program lends itself to literacy instruction
Music programs running under the Orff Approach are great for enhancing literacy; using syllables, rhyming, music, movement, dance, drama and language are part of the foundation of this approach to teaching and learning music. The use of Orff instruments are included: These are pitched, and non-pitched percussion instruments, such as bongos (non-pitched), triangles (non-pitched), glockenspiels (pitched), xylophones (pitched), etc.

If your school’s music program runs off of the Kodály approach, the use of syllables to represent various note values as well as call and response activities will enhance letter-sound correspondence and phonemic awareness. (Call and response activities involve the teacher, or a group of students speaking or singing a phrase, while the other students repeat a response, which could be the same phrase or a phrase differing in its words, sound, or in its entirety.) The Kodaly method of teaching music originated in Hungary with a focus on sight singing and playing instruments from memory. Children learn to read music through interval training, using what is referred to as the “movable do”. Ask your school’s music teacher for some extension activities (those which extend the child’s knowledge deeper, or to new contexts or applications) you can follow up with at home.

3. Ask your school if they participate in Learning Through the Arts
The Royal Conservatory of Music (RCM) began the Learning Through the Arts (LTTA) initiative in 1994 to help students reach their full academic potential through the arts. The LTTA program has since delivered programs to hundreds of public and private schools in Canada, and to 12 schools internationally. A study conducted by Queen’s University (2002) showed that LTTA students performed better in both math and literacy skills than non-LTTA students.

4. Encourage your child to take part in extra-curricular school music ensembles
Some private schools such as Appleby College, Branksome Hall, and Sterling Hall, place an emphasis on composition and performance, encouraging students’ creativity, thus fostering the students’ abilities to express themselves through literacy. Greenwood College allows students opportunities such as coffee houses to perform their own works, encouraging personal expression through music. The York School encourages composition through the Orff program, and even provides students in the Upper School a MIDI lab. If you are looking for a program for your toddler, consider the Smart Start Program from the RCM. This research-based program has pulled the most effective practices from every method of musical training, including the Orff Approach, Kodály, Suzuki, etc., to provide children with early learning opportunities; promoting vocabulary development and phonemic awareness.

5. Use song books to teach concepts of print and vocabulary
Song books allow children to sing their favourite songs while using their finger to follow along in the book. This is an activity you can do with your child, using the hand over hand technique to follow along. Eventually your child will be able to follow along in the book on his/her own. As words are often repeated in songs, here, they are repeated in print, allowing children to familiarize themselves with new vocabulary. Two excellent books I have used with my students are Over the Rainbow and Puff the Magic Dragon, both beautifully illustrated by Eric Puybaret.

Allowing children to feel competent in their reading and writing skills results in confident and happy students in the classroom. The more ways in which children are able to practice reading and writing in everyday contexts, the more confident they will become in using these skills in their everyday lives. Provide your children with opportunities to have fun and be creative with language, and they will flourish.

Courtesy: By Michelle Eisen

Help your children be ready to learn

2014-03-28T22:30:00.000-07:00

A child's first years at school are very important. If you want your children to do well in school, here are some things you can do to encourage them to be ready to learn.

These ideas may not surprise you. Many of the things you do every day are exactly what your children need to help them be ready to learn.

Self-regulation

Self-regulation means being able to control your behaviour, emotions and attention.

Children who can regulate their own emotions find it easier to take part in school activities. They get along better with others.

Children start to learn to regulate their emotions and actions when they are very young. They learn by interacting with their parents and other caring adults.

Parents can also help children to regulate where they focus their attention by giving them more difficult games when they are ready.

Making big tasks smaller

Parents can also show their children how to break a problem into smaller parts.

For example, when your baby can easily find the toy that you have hidden under a blanket, you can make it more challenging by hiding two toys.

If your child has trouble putting together all of the puzzle pieces or stacking all of the blocks, take away some of the puzzle pieces or blocks.

You can do the same thing when its time to clean up the play area. It can be too much for a three-year-old to try to put all of the toys away.

Instead, you can break the task down into one step at a time Where does the fire truck go?

It's also important to give your children space to do well on tasks that are okay for their level of development. Taking over for your children as soon as they get frustrated won't help them learn to do things.

Children who can regulate their behaviour, their emotions and their attention are much more able to learn on their own.

Feeling secure

A strong emotional bond between a parent and a child is so important.

Relationships in a child's family affect relationships outside of the family. Children who grow up in caring families find it easier to have good relationships with others, including teachers and other children.

Children who feel secure are better able to explore the world. Comforting children after a bad or upsetting experience makes them feel safe and helps them learn to regulate their emotions.

Letting preschool children explore their surroundings also helps develop their courage and confidence. These skills will help them with challenges all through their lives.

Thinking skills

Children are born with a sense of excitement about the world. They want to learn.

When you help your children understand their world, you are helping them learn to think.

Children need stimulation to keep wanting to explore. They need to meet different people, go to different places and learn about the natural world (such as plants, water and the sun).

Children learn to make connections among different people, things and places. Stimulation also helps children to cope with complex information.

People need to make sense of their worlds, especially young children. Parents can help their children understand the world by making experiences meaningful for them.

For example, a walk in a new park becomes a more interesting learning experience if you are there to point out to your children what is the same and what is different from the park that you usually go to.

Literacy & numeracy

Literacy (the ability to read and write) and numeracy (the ability to use numbers) are two very important skills.
Children need to be literate and to understand how numbers work to do well in school.
Children need to learn to understand and use many different words. They need to learn that stories have a beginning, a middle and an end.
Children need to learn what a number line is (three is one more than two, and four is one more than five). They also need to see what is the same and what is different in the weight, feel and size of things.

Here are some ways to help your child build good literacy and numeracy skills:

Read together. Reading out loud with your children from a very early age is very important. Reading together makes your children more ready to learn to read.

Have fun together. When you and your children share time reading a story and being close, they learn that reading is fun. Hold your children, touch and snuggle together, and get their full attention.

Repeat. You may be frustrated when your child asks to hear the same story night after night, but repeating stories over and over again is important for your child.

At first, children focus on the pictures in a storybook. Soon, they learn the story, word by word, and start to tell it along with you. By pointing to words your child knows from memory, she (or he) can learn that printed words (text) have meaning.

Later, when your child learns to read in school, she will know that text is not a puzzle to solve by guessing. Your child will also know that text tells a story or gives information (or both).

Rhyming. The ability to hear the different sounds in language is a big part of learning to read. Parents can help children develop an ear for language by using rhymes and songs.

Learning words by sight. A basic sight vocabulary of common objects can help your children's early reading. You can help by asking your children to point out simple words in a story while you read together. You could also put labels on some things in your child's room, such as bed or closet.

Sharing written stories. Children need to understand that text is more than just a collection of words and sentences. Hearing and telling stories helps children understand what a story is. Playing make-believe also helps children to understand stories.

Take your child's drawing and ask her to tell you the story behind it. If you write the story out for your child and read it with her later, she can see where stories in books come from. It shows your child that she can write stories, too.

Counting games. Counting games are a good way to begin to understand how numbers work.

To help your child understand what numbers mean, try simple counting games, such as counting backwards and forwards. Try easy adding and subtracting questions. You can even count your child's fingers and toes!

Board games that require counting and moving along a number line help your child see that numbers can be presented in different ways, but they always mean the same thing.

Number games and reading together should be fun. They show children that learning new skills can mean getting to do more interesting things.

Courtesy:

Help your preschooler deal with nightmares

2014-03-27T23:00:00.000-07:00

In several attempts to rescue her three-year-old daughter from bad dreams, Maggie Lamothe Fennessy has sprinkled magic dust in the bedroom (also known as glitter) and surrounded her little gal with 23 stuffed animals including a rabbit named Foofy. Maggie’s soothing nighttime ritual includes bathing Rebecca Lynne, massaging her with lotion, reading books and the occasional ocean wave CD. But the Toronto resident also has three-month-old twins to manage and exhaustion is winning out.

Turns out there may be another way to combat the nightmares that wake up children like Rebecca Lynne: re-script their dreams. Think of it as Inception for Preschoolers, (sorry mom, Leonardo DiCaprio not included) where you plant good ideas and images in youngsters’ minds to blanket their dreams. If your daughter awakes from a nightmare about a 14-eyed-monster calm her down first. And then “reframe the dream,” says Wendy Hall, a professor in the School of Nursing in the Faculty of Applied Science at the University of British Columbia. “Rethink and transform the dream so that it is a more positive and less threatening experience.”

Teach your child that she controls who and what gets to be in her dreams. Be specific. Talk about colours, textures, smells and sounds. “You can write things into the script – that they have a magic wand or a force field they put up in the dream,” Wendy says. “They can have things under their control that they introduce to stop whatever they don’t want to happen.” If your daughter dreams of spiders, Wendy says, then talk about a book likeCharlotte’s Web where the spider is friendly and useful.

An anxious child is more likely to have anxiety-provoking dreams, says Penny Corkum, an Associate Professor of Psychology at Dalhousie University, so strive to reduce stress prior to going to sleep. Try guided visual imaging to help your little one imagine a tranquil environment. “You want your child to return to that relaxed place in their mind and to calm their central nervous system,” she says. The imaging technique along with an evening routine of no TV, relaxing activities as bedtime approaches and dimmed lights can be effective.

My four-year-old son has had nightmares since Halloween. So I asked him one night, what makes him happy. His response? Spiderman and Disneyland. As he snuggled up to a blue blankie he got on his first birthday, we talked about how he might dream about going on the Dumbo ride at Disneyland with Spidey. They’d drink pineapple floats, eat churros and watch the fireworks. The next morning, my son’s voice soared as he told me he’d been on the Peter Pan ride with Spiderman. The best part? I was there, too. The second morning he recalled going to the beach with Spiderman. The third morning he told me he’d dreamed of playing in my parents’ backyard. They live almost 5,000 kilometres away.

I’m thrilled my lad is sleeping through the night and waking up chirpy, but experts advise against asking about nightmares over breakfast unless your little one wants to talk about it. UBC’s Wendy Hall says, “You don’t want to make the dream such a focal point that the child starts doing it just to get attention.” Point taken.

You can talk about it at 2 a.m., though, if your son or daughter just sprinted to your bedroom fearing a vampire. (If he looks like Robert Pattinson, text me.) Avoid the lights – so the kids don’t wake up fully – then reassure them.

With practice, your children won’t need Mr. Sandman to bring them a dream; they’ll relax and drift off on their own.

What might be causing nightmares?

If dream re-scripting doesn’t help your child’s nightmares, sleep expert Dr. Shelly Weiss, says to look at other possible causes:

Anxiety or bullying at school or daycare.
Exposure to stresses such as marital conflict
Exposure to too much violence on TV. if an older sibling is telling them terrible stories. Talk to your child, your child’s daycare provider, teacher or pediatrician to further investigate.

Courtesy: By Amber Nasrulla

Encouraging kids to improve: Why you shouldn’t praise your kids

2014-03-26T23:30:00.000-07:00

As parents, we want our children to feel confident and have a sense of self-worth. We instinctively realize that these attributes are invaluable when it comes to success in school. Since we want to build our kids up, we naturally praise them for their strengths, talents, and achievements.

However, praise purely for the sake of helping a child avoid feelings of disappointment can actually make matters worse when it comes to their academics.

In fact, as parents, we should avoid constantly praising our children and, instead, provide meaningful encouragement.

Is there a difference? Absolutely!

Encouragement is about acknowledging a specific task that was done well. Praise has a tendency to be general and is more about making someone feel good, not necessarily competent. This is a clear and important distinction: making a child “feel good” is temporary. Showing a child that she has demonstrated ability in a given task goes so much further. A child will eventually come to see your praise as empty and meaningless if the results are poor. Encouragement allows for challenges and mistakes, but pushes a student to learn from those challenges.
Praise is final and leaves no room for a child to continue improving. Feeling “good” is a fleeting emotion. Feeling capable is not just an emotion, its knowledge gained from completing a task successfully. If we focus on simply making our kids feel good, we’re being shortsighted. Our goal should be for our children to improve. Isn’t that what their education is all about? Knowledge building upon knowledge? Encouragement allows for positive acknowledgement of a task well done and challenges a student to reach higher.
Encouragement is about showing interest. Praise is often vague and doesn’t invite further discussion. Simply praising our kids all of the time is like sitting on the sidelines. It doesn’t show that we are truly interested or involved. If encouraging your child means allowing mistakes to be made, then we must also get involved so that she can learn and improve. Praise says: “Great effort, you’ll do better next time.” While encouragement says: “Great effort, now let’s talk about what you could have done differently and let me show you how to it better for next time.”

The goal of meaningful encouragement is for a child to gain confidence through achievement. It isn’t about artificially pumping up her ego nor does it create an unachievable standard. It’s about giving real substance behind our support. In order to prepare our children for their years ahead in school and beyond, we must encourage them to gain a sense of self-worth and determination by overcoming challenges, not avoiding them.

Courtesy: By Marc Lapointe

Spend one-on-one time with your kids

2014-03-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

I can’t even remember where we’d been that day. The museum maybe? But I remember this detail. After zigzagging through a bunch of subway cars, my son Zachary and I breathlessly reached the front car. Zachary, then five, peered out the window as the train nosed into darkness, then leaned his head against me and whispered, “I’m glad you’re my Mommy.”

When our kids are tiny, it’s easy to manage warm bonding moments like this. We nestle and feed, rub noses at the change table and push them endlessly on squeaky park swings. But the older they get, the more complicated life gets. We add siblings to the mix, daycare, school, extracurricular circus acrobatics – you name it. At times when it gets crazy-busy, I worry. Is it all getting to be too much? I’ll catch myself debating, “What does my eight-year-old need right now – to yuck it up with his friends or some special time with me?”

My family is not alone in struggling to connect. According to a recent Statistics Canada study, in 1986 workers devoted 4.2 hours a day to family activities. By 2005 that had dropped to 3.4 hours. Between 2006 and 2008, family time plummeted 30 percent in the U.S., according to a report from the University of Southern California’s Annenberg Center for the Digital Future. An exploding addiction to the Internet was blamed.

Family dinners and game nights are vital. But there’s even more buzz these days around another aspect of the family dynamic: the parent-child attachment bond. This is a mysterious connection I felt keenly the day of our subway excursion. “I think we’re just starting to understand how important the bond is to everything from mood control and intelligence to physical health,” says Jennifer Kolari, a Toronto-based family therapist and author of Connected Parenting.

Scientists have discovered that brain functioning is not “hardwired” in early childhood as previously believed. In his bestseller, The Brain That Changes Itself, Norman Doidge confirms brain “plasticity is at its height” in infancy but that the brain’s ability to reorganize itself and learn new things continues throughout life. And until their brains mature (around age 25), the perfect conduit for the massive learning our children will do is the parent-child bond.

How can we nurture this bond and optimize our kids’ brain development? Turns out, one-on- one time is a simple but powerful means. Jennifer says, “As we interact and spend time one-on-one we deeply connect with our children, and a lot of different things happen. Limbic bonding is occurring. This is the release of lovely reward chemicals which also stimulates neuroplasticity. So the more loved and connected and cared for that little brain is, the more that brain feels safe to grow and develop and become more resilient.”

Experts note a long list of benefits to children from spending one-on-one time:

increased empathy and self-regard
a better ability to regulate emotions
improved ability to handle stress
decrease in sibling rivalry
improved parent-child bonding
improved communication skills

I became fascinated with one-on-one time a few years ago when Zachary started senior kindergarten. Initially, I sought a pause from play dates. Plus, there was all this wistful talk from my mom friends with older kids. “Oh I wish I’d…” and then a list of stimulating activities. Given my flexible schedule and fears about time rushing by, I thought, “Why not?” I decided to devote one afternoon a week with my son for one year. We’d hit various Toronto hotspots like the CN Tower and Chinatown: whatever caught our fancy.

The first time we set out, I worried. Would we have fun? Would Zach yearn for his Lego-slinging buddies? Was I this pathetic mother who just couldn’t let go? But soon, I was bowled over by the effects. Zachary couldn’t have been more thrilled about “Zach and Mommy” time. He held my hand and shared – stories from school, glorious questions, his kid’s-eye view of the world. Once, passing a giant advertisement for lingerie he nudged me and hissed: “Mommy, I can see that lady’s underwear!” He listened attentively, and we grew closer.

After her second son was born, Toronto teacher Bronwyn Davidson started taking her first born, William, then three, to tea. Friends laughed at this unlikely choice, but Bronwyn says William loved it. “He’s 10 and he’s still interested in afternoon tea.”

It’s no coincidence Bronwyn and I see such rapture on our boys’ faces in these scenarios. According to scientists, this is due to the release of oxytocin, which promotes attachment and, subsequently, learning. “Oxytocin is sometimes called the commitment neuromodulator because it reinforces bonding in mammals,” writes Norman Doidge in his book. “It is released when…couples parent and nurture their children. Oxytocin appears also to attach children to parents.”

Bronwyn spends regular one-on-one time with both her sons. Her boys feel “appreciated for who they are, and not compared to each other. It’s nice to have that time where they’re not having to – I don’t want to say fight for attention – but I think that’s what siblings do. They want your attention so badly, and when there’s two of them, they have to compete for it. When it’s one-on-one, they just get it.”

Parents need this time, too. “I find if one of my kids is really starting to grate on me, I know that I need that one-on-one time with them,” says Bronwyn. “It’s almost like a cure. I think when they are starting to act out and behave in ways that are really irksome to me it’s probably because they need me.”

If this all sounds daunting, don’t be intimidated. “There are lots of ways to do this without feeling ‘It’s one more thing I have to do!’ ” says Jennifer Kolari. She insists parents can see powerful effects from just 15 minutes a day of “really focusing on your child.” In fact, Jennifer warns against overdoing it. “You don’t want to follow your child around and do this bonding all the time. They’re going to say ‘Get away from me.’ It doesn’t take a lot.” Paradoxically, she says, “The more connected your child feels to you, the more likely they are to be more independent.”

Our kids, particularly teenagers, won’t announce it to their friends, but Jennifer says they deeply desire involvement with us. “I was doing a twoday workshop with a group of teachers and one of the teachers started laughing and said, ‘This is ridiculous! I would never do this. My kid is a Goth.’ And I said, ‘Well, it could help. Go home and try it.’” Despite her son being 15, pierced and tattooed, she decided to heed Jennifer’s advice that night. “She told him ‘I don’t care if you’re a Goth, you’re the cutest little Goth I’ve ever seen in my whole life!’ And he kind of threw his feet in the air and they sort of wrestled. It was a bit awkward because they hadn’t connected in a long time. But she said they had the best night together they’d had in a long time. And then, as she was walking past his room at night (because she had long passed saying good night to him), she heard, ‘Mom, can you come say goodnight?’ So she went in, they rubbed noses, had this little moment and then she left. She said she actually slid down the wall outside his room and sobbed, because she never thought in a million years that her child would still want that from her.”

This story shows it’s really never too late to try and connect with our kids, and the results can be amazing. As Bronwyn learned from her tea ritual with William, “It doesn’t really matter what it is, but that it’s your special thing. He’s decided that’s it’s our special thing. And he doesn’t even mind that it’s not that cool.”

6 tips for successful bonding

Focus, even if just for a few minutes.
“Don’t check your email, turn off your cell phone, turn off the TV. Really make this focused time.”
– Susan Newman, Ph.D., author of Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day.

Choose an activity you both like.
“You can be pretty straightforward. ‘Mommy doesn’t like Monopoly…’ Then you can be enthusiastic and you’re not pretending.”
– Susan Newman

Put away the flashcards and just have fun.
“Don’t make everything a learning opportunity; that is the biggest turnoff for kids imaginable.”
– Susan Newman

Keep it simple.
“The activity could be something as simple as giving a child a bath while the other children are occupied with dad in another room and being very mindful to enjoy the time with your little one.”
– Jamie C. Martin, mother of three and author of Steady Days: A Journey Toward Intentional, Professional Motherhood

Be fair.
“If you have two children you have to do it with both. You can’t have one getting these lunches out and the other not. That would create resentment.”
– Bronwyn Davidson, teacher and mother of two

Keep doing it.
“No matter how happy and secure your child is, they can always use more.”
– Jennifer Kolari, author of Connected Parenting

Courtesy: By Connie Jeske Crane

Sleep travel tips while you're on vacation

2014-03-23T23:00:00.000-07:00

We’d love to take our monster-loving five-year-old Xavier to Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party in DisneyWorld this year. The problem? It starts at 7 p.m. Xavier’s bedtime is 7:30.

Can we adjust his schedule so he can party, and not be Mr. Cranky-pants the whole next day? How much flexibility is really possible with a preschooler?

You need to know your child, says Saundra Schmidt Brook, of Waterloo, Ont., a mother of three. Her two-year-old slept contentedly in the stroller while the older children went on rides during their last Disney vacation, so keeping him out late wasn’t an issue. However, when it comes to her four- and five-year-old daughters, she says “We wanted everyone to have fun, so if they hit their wall, we just stopped for the day. They didn’t want to sit and wait for the parade, so we just left.”

Katie Thrasher of Montreal, whose children are five and eight, says she can do a late night once per trip, and avoids making it the first or last day. Having an afternoon nap (or at least a rest time) before the late evening makes a big difference. Katie says: “If they don’t want to nap, I put a movie on the TV or the iPad for them to watch in bed and often they fall asleep.” A hotel suite with a separate bedroom or a balcony where parents can sit and relax makes this easier.

Katie’s rule for the next day is that the first time someone gets miserable or melts down, they head back to the hotel for another rest. “Otherwise I find it’s just the first of many,” she says.

Marie-Lyne Pratt of Greenfield Park, Que., with three children, ages five, three and 20 months, has her own system. “With the young toddlers, what I like best is to bring a baby carrier. A good one. They’ll sleep in the carrier as mom walks around and can be easily breastfed when they need soothing.

“When older preschoolers get cranky or tired, snacks are your best friends. Things like drinkable applesauce have saved us countless times! They give your kids the energy they need to go on.” These snacks work during the evening when you’re hoping to keep the tired little one up a bit longer, and also the next day when he’s veering towards crankiness. Younger preschoolers often have more trouble than older ones adjusting to these changes, and your child’s personality might mean it’s better to stick with the usual schedule.

Ottawa mom Claudine Smith’s family reunion was to end with fireworks at 11:30 p.m. She thought two-year-old Henry would enjoy them so she arranged for him to take a long afternoon nap. Henry made it to the end of the fireworks show. But Claudine says “he was very cranky the next day and we ended up doing a lot of vegging on the couch. People say to me, it’s a vacation, it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t have a routine. But it matters for Henry. He’ll have meltdowns and be miserable, so it’s not worth it.”

And Xavier? We’ve decided he can do one late night with a relaxing day to follow. He’s happily planning his costume.

Travel sleep tips

Know your child. If kids don’t handle changes to routine easily, then expect tantrums if they are kept up past their usual bedtime. Some children are flexible and will sleep in or nap the next day. You know your child best.
Make a deposit to the sleep bank. Sometimes a nap or quiet time during the afternoon before the late night will help even if your child doesn’t usually nap.
If you’re hoping for a sleep-in, set the scene. Close blinds to block out light and put a towel across the bottom of the door to reduce the sound if you’re in a noisy area.
Pack a snack. A little food can give a tired child renewed energy. Go for fruit or a protein food rather than sugary snacks.

Courtesy: By Teresa Pitman

Seal the Deal: Do dental sealants prevent cavities?

2014-03-21T23:00:00.000-07:00

You make sure your kids brush on a regular basis, avoid sticky candy and rinse their mouths with water after eating sugary treats if they can’t brush their teeth. You even wrangle with those little kid-friendly flossers from time to time. Is there anything else you could be doing to help prevent cavities?

Some would say yes: dental sealants. A dental sealant is a thin plastic coating, made of acrylic polymer, that is painted onto a tooth’s chewing surface, and it can be very helpful in preventing decay. “Teeth have bumps and grooves that are formed as they develop, much like the plates of a baby’s skull that come together in the months after birth,” says Toronto dentist Dr. Joe Simardone.

“Sometimes the fusion of the parts of the teeth is incomplete, and deep ‘pits’ are formed. These pits are open to holding bacteria and food, which makes them susceptible to cavities. A sealant will get into these grooves and pits, and seal them off, bonding into the tooth structure, and smoothing out what nature didn’t smooth out. And then the teeth become less retentive to bacteria.”

But do sealants actually prevent cavities? “No, I wouldn’t say that,” says Joe. “There is no substitute for the toothbrush and toothpaste. Sealants just make the surface of the tooth easier to keep clean.” And they’re not permanent. “Over time, with eating and chewing, they will wear away, and will need to be touched up by the dentist.”

Still, given the relative ease of application – the sealant is usually brushed on with a small paintbrush, or dropped out of a syringe onto the tooth, and it dries in a matter of seconds – and the relatively low cost of around $25 per tooth, having them done might seem like a no-brainer. A 2000 report by the Surgeon General in the U.S. found that dental sealants reduced tooth decay in students by more than 70 per cent. And this past September, Saskatchewan’s Oral Health Program introduced an in-school dental sealant program in a select number of schools in the province.

Joe only suggests sealants to “really susceptible people” – people with very deep natural pits in their teeth, or with very poor oral hygiene. But some other dentists and health care professionals recommend all children get them. After all, they can’t hurt. And how many dental procedures can you say that about?

Courtesy: By Sara Curtis

Teach your kids good dental hygiene

2014-03-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

If you are worried about your kids’ dental hygiene, you probably should be. According to statistics, cavity rates are increasing among six- to 12-year-olds. In fact, 63 percent of kids in this age group have had a cavity, and more than 60 percent have had two or more.

“We’re seeing increases of epidemic proportions worldwide – tooth decay is the number one chronic disease for kids five to 17; it’s five times more chronic than asthma,” says Lisa Shoemaker, a registered restorative dental hygienist and educator in Toronto.

“Families are busy and they have busy routines – routines that don’t often include supervising kids when they clean their teeth,” says Lisa. In addition, kids tend to eat on the go and snack on foods with refined sugars, such as juice boxes, pop or sports drinks. Lisa recommends that parents step in and combat cavities with a few tips:

Ensure your kids choose snacks such as fruits and vegetables, whole grain crackers and unbuttered popcorn. Cheese is also an excellent snack that neutralizes other acids in the mouth.
Establish a consistent routine around caring for your kids’ teeth and supervise them when they brush and rinse.
Incorporate an alcohol-free mouth rinse into their routine. This will fight bad breath and ensure kids get more fluoride and anticavity protection than brushing alone can provide. (Mouth rinses are recommended for kids six and up or once they are able to swish and spit.)
Have fun! Use a wacky timer, change up mouth rinse and toothpaste flavours and buy fun toothbrushes. “Our kids time each other and we have funny face contests. We challenge each other to see who can hold the rinse and brush their teeth longer,” says Lisa. “This way, we don’t get bored.”

Courtesy: By Erin Dym

Children's creative play

2014-03-19T23:00:00.000-07:00

Children use different materials and create new things that represent people, things, places and events. This kind of play is the most common form of play in preschool children.

Children are creative by nature

Children are natural builders. They are engineers with blocks, artists with paint, sculptors with clay and designers with junk.

Children love to make pictures and things with clay, sand, mud, blocks and building sets such as Lego.

They like to draw and paint pictures of people, things and even abstract ideas such as beauty, war or death.

Watching thinking in action

Watching your child build and create is watching thinking in action.

In making a sand castle, for example, your child must experiment to find out what mixture of sand and water will work. She (or he) also has to use her memory of what castles look like.

Playing with blocks putting them together, taking them apart, building them again and organizing the different kinds is very good play for children.

Its fun, and it also helps them develop mathematical concepts such as numbers, matching, grouping by shape and size, volume, measurement, relationships in dimensions, spatial relationships, symmetry, sequence and fractions.

This kind of play also lets children learn about some scientific principles such as force, gravity, motion and balance.

Materials for building and creating

Creating with art materials lets children make choices and experiment. Using materials to represent something else gives your child a challenge, a problem to solve. Your children's experiences with creative art materials help them develop patterns for problem-solving.

When children are doing basic messing about play, they are learning some of the skills they need for building and creating. For example, learning to use a pair of scissors is a skill that will help your child build and create things later.

Stacking up and knocking down blocks over and over again is a basic skill needed for building towers and castles.

Children need to find out how crayons, markers and pencils make marks on paper (or other surfaces) before they can use them to make pictures or form letters of the alphabet.

Children need materials to make structures and pictures. Sand, clay and playdough (see the recipe on page 131) are good for moulding.

Blocks can be made from wood, plastic, cardboard or milk cartons.

Stones, sticks, wood scraps, buttons, string and scraps of fabric, and glue are all good materials for children's creations.

Paints, crayons, markers and all kinds of paper help children to practise making marks, print and draw pictures.

Ask your child to tell you more

You can make sure your children have the materials they need, but it also helps to ask questions, such as How did you get that wonderful colour of purple? and Tell me how your spaceship works.

Asking your children to tell you more about something they've created helps them imagine even more. It shows your children that you are interested in what they do.

Your children will like it if you show that you think their creations are important by hanging up their drawings or taking photos of their creations.

If you keep some examples of your children's creations, your children can also see how their pictures are changing as they grow.

Examples of building and creating play

2 to 6 years: Give children an empty cardboard box used for a large appliance (such as a stove or washing machine). Follow their lead and be ready to help cut holes, locate the paint or glue, and find scrap materials.

9 months to 6 years: Make your own playdough. Mix the following ingredients in a pot:

2 cups flour
1 cup salt
2 cups water
4 teaspoons cream of tartar
2 tablespoons cooking oil
food colouring

Cook over medium heat until the mixture becomes like clay. Let it cool, and it's ready to use. Wrap the playdough well so your child can use it again, or keep your child's creations by letting them air dry.

18 months to 6 years: You can make building blocks by filling large paper bags with newspapers and closing them with tape. Children can also help you make the blocks. Markers or paint can be used to decorate them.

Courtesy: By ParentsCanada staff

TV Is Good

2014-03-18T23:00:00.000-07:00

So there I am, picking up my four-year-old daughter from her preschool class. I got there a few minutes early and was waiting with two moms. The topic of TV came up and they both exclaimed how evil those dirty little electronic boxes were and how they never let their children watch all the 'crap' served up by malicious television executives. One mom said that she wouldn't even have a TV in the house, but she and her husband do watch the occasional documentary. As I listen, a sense of guilt and misguided anger courses through my body. You see, the little secret in our home is that we keep the TV on much of the day. I'm a TV junkie, my wife less so, and my kids watch tons of TV.

    I'm pondering these confused feelings when one of the moms asks the inevitably awkward question, "Do your kids watch much TV?" "Oh," I say. "We watch an hour or two." An hour or two? Who am I kidding! I'm a well-regarded psychologist working with children, families and schools and I'm standing in a parking lot lying about TV! If I think this is so evil that I have to lie about it, why would I poison my children with too much viewing time? What's wrong with me?

    But just wait one minute here. Do I actually think that I am damaging my kids with Caillou, The Doodlebops andDora the Explorer? That is ridiculous! Lets take a step back and introduce some common sense.

    For starters, watch your young children watching TV. My two little ones are building castles out of the couch cushions, colouring and rolling around on the floor. My older child is singing along with Elmo, teaching her little sister the words to the ABC song. They routinely watch the TV, but they also routinely disregard it as a function of the different activities they are engaged in. Indeed, psychologist Dan Anderson at the University of Massachusetts has found in his studies of children's TV viewing that young children are only 'watching' the TV about half of the time it's on. Most young kids are not 'glued to the set.'

You may ask, if they aren't watching that much, why have the boob-tube on at all? To be sure, we, like all parents, have to be careful about randomly leaving the TV on for no good reason, which unfortunately we do too often. And, I'd be lying again if I didn't acknowledge that some of this is just electronic babysitting, while the grown-ups are preparing meals or doing laundry. Which is fine.

    That said, it is also the case that I LOVE these kids shows. The social drama, the language, the songs, the fun TV, in the right moderation, is good! Of the many positive influences on their development, television has been a great source of material for children.

    Do I think that TV is a better alternative than going outdoors, playing with friends, pretend play, quality time with family, painting, colouring, cutting, skating, gymnastics, swimming, balanced meals and a decent nights sleep?
Of course not.

    That's the whole point! This is not about which one is better. This is all about having a balanced and diverse life. Kids' lives are good when they have a wide range of people and experiences in their day-to-day world. Don't buy into the guilt of "oh no, my child has been overexposed to a toxic TV environment," as long as you are trying to introduce a mix of activities.

    The best evidence on the damaging influence of TV is with older kids and pre-teens becoming couch potatoes, over-eating in front of violent or sexually graphic shows, while having little else to do in their lives. (Another news flash, childhood obesity correlates with too much TV, although it correlates with many other variables as well.)

    A great perspective can be found on the Impact of Media Use on Children and Youth, at the Website of the Canadian Paediatric Society (cps.ca/english/statements/), where the bottom line is that too much of anything is too much and, as I've already said the obvious, violence and sex are not for kids.

    We all have enough to worry about, so don't let watching a bit too much TV add to the guilt quotient. But if that does'nt soothe your nerves on this topic, go unplug the bloody thing and read a book with your kid. You'll both feel better. PC

Courtesy: By Dr. Michael Weiss

Stop, Drop & Play: 10 ways to take 10 minutes with your kids

2014-03-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

Start by turning off all gadgets and stowing away laptops and phones,
says Carl. This is easier said than done, what with vibrating phones and beeping computers. There is a very conscious, almost ceremonial quality to turning everything off. The more we practise this disengagement from the distractions around us, the more our kids will learn to disconnect from their own electronics.

“Get close physically, look them in the eyes and listen when they talk,” he says. “This sends the signal that you’re available.” Some days it feels like the starting gun goes off the minute we step out of bed and we race to the finish line (kids in bed, a bowl of popcorn, and the PVR).

Is this truly an ideal childhood? Am I being the parent I want to be? I don’t believe everything has to be perfect but I don’t want to get to the end of this parenting journey and realize that I was busy for most of it. Busy with the laundry, busy with my work, busy with the dishes, busy in the van.

Is it easy to slow down? No, sometimes it takes real effort. But the results are in. I feel more relaxed, the kids are learning to entertain themselves, and the connection in the house is palpable.

Here’s 10 ways to take 10 minutes to play and connect with your kids.

A HUG. Sometimes all we have to do is stop and give our children a cuddle. We hear about “failure to thrive” in babies who do not get touched. How about toddlers and older children? They love the cuddles. Spend 10 minutes just hanging out on the couch, you won’t regret it.

A BOOK. Sounds so simple, right? In every literacy program they talk about the importance of reading to our children. Don’t make this a lesson, just read for the love of reading.

A PUZZLE. Great for those logic building brain cells and wonderful because it has a beginning and an end. Find age-appropriate puzzles, get down on the floor, and start puzzling!

GET OUTSIDE. Blow bubbles, skip rope, throw a ball, do some chalk drawing. Again, don’t make this about improving a skill, but we can always model good sportsmanship. “Nice catch!”

BREAK OUT THE MUSIC! Do you have a CD that everyone loves? What child can resist ABBA? Get dancing, get groovy, burn some calories, giggle, and let it all hang out. Especially great for a rainy day.

ARTIST ANYONE? How about pulling out the markers and doing some drawing. My kids love that I am a terrible artist and that I still try. I’m also modeling the fact that you don’t have to be great at something to enjoy it.

BUILDING TIME! The Slow Parenting Movement advocates open ended toys such as blocks, Lego and Playmobil because children learn to use their imagination. Sometimes I set a timer for this kind of play because I struggle with the “open-endedness” of it. But once the kids get started, they will usually continue.

CARDS. UNO is a huge hit in our house but we play Snap and War and other games as well. In 10 minutes, we can usually play a few games of cards and the kids are learning to add and subtract without even knowing it!

JUNIOR BOARD GAMES. Okay, some of these will take longer than 10 minutes, but you could always break it into two parts. (Remember to warn kids of this!) We like the junior versions of Clue and Monopoly and they really don’t take long to play once you get started. These require patience, so don’t try them if you are feeling impatient.

SCISSORS AND GLUE. What child doesn’t get a kick out of using scissors and glue (and what about building dexterity and creativity)? If you get a roll of glue, there’s less of a mess for the neat-freaks out there.

Courtesy: By Sara Sjerven

15 Ways to Get Your Kids to Eat Better

2014-03-16T23:59:00.000-07:00

Make a schedule. Children need to eat every three to four hours: three meals, two snacks, and lots of fluids. If you plan for these, your child's diet will be much more balanced and he'll be less cranky, because he won't be famished. I put a cooler in the car when I'm out with my kids and keep it stocked with carrots, pretzels, yogurt, and water so we don't have to rely on fast food.
Plan dinners. If thinking about a weekly menu is too daunting, start with two or three days at a time. A good dinner doesn't have to be fancy, but it should be balanced: whole-grain bread, rice, or pasta; a fruit or a vegetable; and a protein source like lean meat, cheese, or beans. I often make simple entree soups or Mexican chili ahead of time and then freeze it; at dinnertime, I heat it up and add whole-grain bread and a bowl of cut-up apples or melon to round out the meal.
Don't become a short-order cook. A few years ago, I got into a bad habit. I'd make two suppers -- one that I knew the kids would like and one for my husband and me. It was exhausting. Now I prepare one meal for everybody and serve it family-style so the kids can pick and choose what they want. Children often mimic their parents' behavior, so one of these days, they'll eat most of the food I serve them.
Bite your tongue. As hard as this may be, try not to comment on what or how much your kids are eating. Be as neutral as possible. Remember, you've done your job as a parent by serving balanced meals; your kids are responsible for eating them. If you play food enforcer -- saying things like "Eat your vegetables" -- your child will only resist.
Introduce new foods slowly. Children are new-food-phobic by nature. I tell my kids that their taste buds sometimes have to get used to a flavor before they'll like the taste. A little hero worship can work wonders too. Marty refused to even try peas until I told him that Michael Jordan eats his to stay big and strong. Now Marty eats peas all the time.
Dip it. If your kids won't eat vegetables, experiment with dips. Kathleen tried her first vegetable when I served her a thinly cut carrot with some ranch salad dressing. My children also like hummus, salsa, and yogurt-based dressing.
Make mornings count. Most families don't eat enough fiber on a daily basis, and breakfast is an easy place to sneak it in. Look for high-fiber cereals for a quick fix. Or, do what I do and make up batches of whole-grain pancake and waffle batter that last all week. For a batch that serves five, sift together 2 cups whole-wheat pastry flour, 4 tsp. baking powder, 1/2 tsp. salt, and 2 Tbs. sugar. When you're ready to cook, mix in 2 Tbs. ground flax meal, 2 cups water, 3 Tbs. canola oil, 1/4 tsp. vanilla, and 2 Tbs. applesauce.
Sneak in soy. Even if your kids don't have milk allergies, soy milk is a terrific source of healthy phytochemicals. My kids don't like soy milk but don't notice when it's hidden in a recipe. I use the low-fat, calcium-fortified kind in some recipes that call for milk, such as oatmeal, mashed potatoes, and sauces.
Sprinkle some sugar. Julia eats her cooked carrots with a bit of brown sugar, and I mix a little root beer into her prune juice to make prune-juice soda. Kathleen and Marty like a sprinkle of sugar on their fruit. I know that they'll eventually outgrow this need for extra sweetness, but in the meantime, they're eating fruits and vegetables.
Get kids cooking. If your children become involved in choosing or preparing meals, they'll be more interested in eating what they've created. Take them to the store, and let them choose produce for you. If they're old enough, allow them to cut up vegetables and mix them into a salad. Although Julia refuses to eat fresh fruit, she and I make banana or apple muffins together -- and she always eats them once they're done.
Cut back on junk. Remember, you -- not your kids -- are in charge of the foods that enter the house. By having fewer junk foods around, you'll force your children to eat more fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and dairy products.
Allow treats. Having less healthy foods occasionally keeps them from becoming forbidden -- and thus even more appealing. We call candy, soda, and cookies "sometimes" foods. I generally buy only healthy cereals such as Cheerios and Raisin Bran, but I let my kids have sugary cereals when they visit their grandparents or when we're on vacation. And I treat them to McDonald's for lunch every so often.
Have fun. The more creative the meal is, the greater the variety of foods my kids eat. We make smiley-face pancakes and give foods silly names. (Broccoli florets are "baby trees" or "dinosaur food.") Anything mini is always a hit too. I often use cookie cutters to turn toast into hearts and stars, which the children love.
Be a role model. If you're constantly on a diet or have erratic eating habits, your children will grow up thinking that this sort of behavior is normal. Be honest with yourself about the kinds of food messages you're sending. Trust your body to tell you when you're hungry and when you're full, and your kids will learn to do the same.
Adjust your attitude. Realize that what your kids eat over time is what matters. Having popcorn at the movies or eating an ice-cream sundae are some of life's real pleasures. As long as you balance these times with smart food choices and physical activity, your children will be fine.