Kieren Knows Best

Meeting Thomas Treat

2017-10-16T10:59:00.000-07:00

We have another son! His name is Thomas Treat and he is perfect. This is his story.

On Thursday, June 29, my mom offered to take my kids overnight. Usually, I turned down these offers, but I thought the alone time would be good for rest, personal time, and one last date with Anson, as my due date was the very next day. I spent the hours cleaning, hanging curtains, and relaxing. Unfortunately, my anxiety about birth began to pick up, even plaguing me during my movie date with Anson.

I slept in on Friday, but woke up very nervous and emotional. I tried to keep busy, but nothing was distracting enough. Then, out of nowhere, I was prompted to go to the temple. I ran the last of my errands and followed that little nudge. During my time in the temple, I had a good, long cry and a spiritual experience that wiped away all of my worry and doubt.

The rest of my day was spent washing baby clothes, packing my birth bag, and installing the car seat. (Yes, I procrastinated until my due date!) By the time my parents dropped off the kids, I was feeling much more calm and prepared. Anson tried to get me to go out to eat with my parents, but I had a strong need to be home, in my safe place.

I woke up Saturday morning to find a small amount of mucus and bloody show. Historically, this sign meant that I would go into labor within 24 hours, so I alerted my mom and started to wonder when things would happen. I decided to grab some donuts for the family, but was surprised when I only managed to eat one - my appetite had disappeared!

Clara and I grabbed smoothies and met up with my friend, Jenna, for pedicures. We had fun and Jenna kept my mind occupied with non-birth topics for a few hours. Back at home, I wondered what to do with myself. I was still having bloody show, but not a single contraction and no nausea. I decided to take a nap.

Around 4:00 pm, I woke up and moved to the couch, to lay by Anson and watch a movie. I thought I felt a contraction, but it didn't hurt at all. Plus, I had never gone into labor during the daytime before. I tried to check myself a few times, but everything felt different. Either I wasn't dilated at all OR I was dilated a few centimeters, but my cervix was still tipped back. What did it mean?

Anson picked up a pizza and I only managed two bites. I was still laying on the couch, wondering about the potential contractions I was having. They still didn't hurt, they were 6+ minutes apart, and I had never been able to lay down during labor before. What was going on?

The kids joined us on the couch and we put on Moana. I was still feeling totally normal, but Anson insisted on having my parents drive to our house. Soon after they arrived, around 9:30 pm, I started walking through contractions, mostly trying to test if they hurt and if they would get closer together. I felt a small amount of pain, but was still able to talk normally during the waves.

I called the midwife, Maribeth, and she suggested I come in, as my main worry about birth had been arriving too late in the process. I told her I'd think about it and call her back. After another half hour, contractions were slightly closer together, about 4.5 minutes, but still mild. I decided we'd go to the birth center, just to get checked, as I was really confused about what was going on. Anson took a shower, I changed my clothes, and my dad and Anson gave me a blessing. The kids were in bed, but not asleep, so we said goodnight and left them with Mimi.

The drive over wasn't painful like it had been in the past. We arrived to the birth center around 10:30 pm and I was happy to see Maribeth was already inside, waiting for me. Mom and Dad pulled in right behind us. It was strange being there and being of sound mind, so unlike the other times. Maribeth checked my vitals and listened to the baby. She wasn't going to check my progress, but I insisted. I was 8-9 cms!!! That totally shocked me, because I didn't feel transition (shakes, sweating) like I did with my others. After that, I thought, "What do I do now?!" Apparently, even though I was almost complete, the baby was "floating" and my cervix wasn't fully pointing down, so Maribeth suggested I try different positions to encourage baby to engage.

Anson and I were left alone in the room. He put on music and I was taking contractions in silly positions. It was actually fun! Maribeth suggested that Anson and I lift my belly during a few contractions and that really helped/hurt. This was finally the point where contractions got painful and uncomfortable. I decided to get in the tub, which felt great, but was also scary, as I knew the hard work would be happening there. I think I got in around 11:45 pm. Anson, Maribeth, and Jenna (my friend and nurse) were all wondering if the baby would be born July 1st or 2nd. I had guessed for the past few weeks that it would be July 2nd (making bang 2 days late, as my others had been 4, 1, and 3 days late).

Everyone left the room again, except Anson and I, so I started doing purposeful, grunty pushes to get baby to drop. At first, the baby was high, but with each contraction the baby moved lower. Eventually, I could even feel the water start to bulge, which was super exciting! I knew once it broke, it would only be minutes until birth.

Only 1-2 contractions later and my water began to bulge out of my body. I ran my finger over it and felt it pop. I told Anson to get the midwife! Maribeth and Jenna quickly came into the room and Jenna listened to the baby. My mom came in, too. Maribeth asked if I felt baby boy or baby girl hair, and it was at that moment that I realized that the head was almost crowning! At that point, I tried my best to keep the baby from moving back. One or two more contractions and I felt the head start to crown!

I wanted to hold back and take things slow, but as I knelt there, trying to decide, the pressure and stretching became too intense to pull back from. It felt like I was about to rip in half, but only a few seconds later, the baby's head was born. Maribeth was very relaxed and told me it was fine to wait for the next contraction. I kept my hands on the baby's head to keep it still. I could feel the baby's eyelids and was even able to look down and see the head through the clear water. Crazy!

A contraction started, but the shoulders gave resistance. Maribeth helped me point the head down and after one painful moment, the baby was born! (12:15 am) I lifted the baby to my chest and sat back. He screeched the loudest shriek I've ever heard! I saw and announced that it was a boy, which totally shocked me! I felt so happy and in such great spirits. I put my legs up on the side of the tub and asked someone to bring my dad into the room. He looked pretty impressed! I love those first few moments after birth.

It was time for the placenta, so Dad left the room. All of my past midwives made me get out of the tub to deliver the placenta, by Maribeth let my choose. I didn't really care and apparently it was almost there anyway, so out it came. The clear water slowly turned pink while my placenta, still attached to my baby boy, floated nearby. It was kind of weird, but also amazing!

I eventually made my way to the bed, baby and I were checked, and the evil afterpains began. Thomas weighed 7 lbs 11.5 oz and was 19.5" long. He nursed for the first time while I ate four of the best tasting freezer waffles ever! Then, before we took a nap, we FaceTimed Anson's parents in Japan. Of course, I was too excited to sleep (like every other birth!), so I stared at my baby as my heart bursted with gratitude for such an amazing experience and a perfect baby.

It's 3 months later and I still can't believe what a wonderful birth I was given. We are so blessed!

Clara's Birth Story
Steven's Birth Story
Robert's Birth Story

Robert's Birth Story

2015-09-26T08:42:00.000-07:00

This is the birth story of Robert Wallace, my second son. He was born on April 15, 2015 at 8:05 a.m. He was 20.5 inches long and 7 lbs. 12 oz., our heaviest baby yet.

I was nervous to give birth again, unmedicated, so I halfway convinced myself that I’d be pregnant forever. Due to months of awful Braxton Hicks contractions, I worried that I wouldn’t know when labor was starting.

Early Tuesday morning, I was awoken by what I thought were contractions, but I quickly fell back to sleep. I was going to be pregnant forever, remember? I had my 40 week appointment a few hours later. It was the first appointment I’d attended without Clara and Seven in tow, thanks to the kindness of a ward member. It was nice to have a real conversation with the midwife. Thankfully, all was well with baby and me. I had to set up my 41 week appointments, including extra monitoring for being overdue. For the first time, I thought it might be a good idea for the baby to make their entrance.

Around 4:30 that afternoon, I had another clue that labor was approaching: bloody show. I informed my mom, but had to convince her to stay in Globe – I didn’t want the pressure to perform. I decided to go teach ballet, which Anson thought was insane. I was just happy to have a distraction! When I walked into the studio, everyone was shocked to see me. Apparently there had been a rumor started the day before that my baby had been born! I was amused, but sorry to disappoint. The rest of the night went normally. Anson finished building the cosleeper, my brother-in-law came over to give me a blessing, and I went to bed early, all just in case I went into labor that night.

Sometime after midnight, I lost the battle of sleeping through possible contractions. It was almost unbelievable that contractions could be so strong, yet still 15-20 minutes apart. I tried to stay in bed, to rest, but I soon found myself jumping to my feet as a wave would start, eager to walk through the pain. I was definitely confused; it couldn’t be labor!

At 3:03 a.m., I decided to time the pains. I thought I could prove that I was being a huge wimp. The pains were 10-12 minutes apart, plus the occasional 6-8 apart. No way it could be real labor, right?

Finally, at 4:20 a.m., I decided to experiment. What would happen if I didn’t get back in bed? Would labor pick up or die out? When the next five contractions were 4-6 minutes apart, I was shocked. How did that happen?! I decided to call my mom. I reluctantly updated her on my situation and told her we could just “hang out” if nothing happened. That was at 4:45 a.m. Half an hour later, I was on the phone with Amy, the midwife. She said we should meet at the birth center around 6:15-6:30 a.m. At that point, I was still unconvinced that I was in labor, but part of me hoped that 6:30 wouldn’t be too late.

My mother-in-law soon arrived to watch the kids. By that time, contractions were 3-4 minutes apart, and I could tell that my mother-in-law was worried. I started to worry, too, and headed towards the car, knowing full well that we would beat the midwife, but feeling a very strong desire to be at the birth center, regardless.

During the car ride, I focused on counting all of my body parts during contractions. When we arrived, I exited the car and noticed my feet were soaked with sweat. I also started shivering and my teeth were chattering. It was about this time that I finally started to believe that I might really be in labor. Anson took over the contraction timer, while I paced the parking lot, with a towel draped over my shoulders. The 20 minutes it took for Amy to arrive seemed like an eternity. I felt vulnerable and unable to progress. I suddenly realized that my mom probably wouldn’t make it in time for the birth.

I was feeling a lot of downward pressure during contractions outside the birth center. I both wanted to keep my legs together to stop progress and open them up by a foot it get it over with. Once inside, Amy checked me and said I was almost at the end of transition (translation from the future: 9cm). The tub was filling SO SLOWLY, so I walked in circles, pants-less, with my eyes closed, desperately willing it to be full.

FINALLY! I was able to enter the tub and it was a huge relief, both mentally and physically. Then, things got weird. My contractions spaced out and got much less intense. My mom showed up (yay!), so I thought maybe things would pick up. Nope. I was very present and alert at this time. I began questioning Amy about what was taking so long. She said my waters were still intact and “helping” the baby to descend slowly. OH HECK NO! I started to get very impatient. The only thought in my head was that I needed to break my own water, to get the baby out.

That strange period lasted for 1-1.5 hours. Contractions spaced out and lessened in intensity. I was just kneeling in the tub, waiting for something to happen. I was so annoyed with everything, especially when people tried to remind me of my birth plan (“let my body push, don’t interfere”) and how I believed in “natural”. I’ll admit that I did try to break my own water, every time I thought someone wouldn’t notice! (For this online birth story, I’ll leave out the details of that endeavor!) Time dragged on, my feet fell asleep, I tried different positions, I did a lot of complaining, but nothing happened.

And then, all on its own, IT BROKE! I was so happy and announced it proudly. Yay! (7:57 a.m.) The downward pressure immediately increased. The contractions intensified and quickened. I gave small pushes during the surges to help baby drop. With each inhale and exhale I would tilt my head from right to left. Suddenly, I felt the head bulging and almost crowning. My left hand quickly and instinctively dove down to lend support. The midwife and nurse heard the splash of my hand and rushed into the room.

With each inhale, I imagined lava and fire, but with each exhale, I imagined blowing snow onto the painful burn, extinguishing it. The first crowning push (8:03 a.m.) didn’t seem to stretch me enough, so I tried to hold back. It was extremely painful, much more than I remember with Steven, so I found it difficult to control myself. As much as it hurt to do so, I tried my best to keep the head crowning until the next contraction. Then, in the next surge or two, the head finally emerged. What an amazing relief!! The midwife instructed me to grab the head and I vividly remember feeling a tiny ear with my left hand. It was magical! I asked Amy if I could wait for another contraction to birth the shoulders. She was hesitant and asked for “grunty pushes” while she checked the neck for a cord. Amy then told me to lean a different direction (very hard to do!) and to push. Then – I pushed! My baby was born and lifted out of the water, onto my chest, at 8:05 a.m.

The baby was silent at first, but I saw his eyes moving. For a split second, I thought (and asked aloud) that something might be wrong. While Amy rubbed his back, he let out his first cry. Hallelujah! I peeked between baby’s legs and then subtly showed Anson. Another boy! I knew it!

Everything from that moment on went smoothly. Only the after-pains gave me any bother. Robert was a perfect blessing. Breastfeeding was amazing (well, at least until my milk came in!). I escaped without any injuries. Anson and I were able to take a nap while my mom and Mimi loved on the new baby. The day was wonderful, magical, and sacred in every way.

Usually, the birth story would end there, but I have to add this gem:

On the way home from the birth center, a few hours later, Anson drove me through a cute neighborhood. In actuality, he was checking up on a job site! His brother walked up to the truck and said, surprised, “Oh my heck! Is that your wife in there?” We all laughed. I’m not sure how many husbands take their wives and hours-old babies to work with them! I don’t think I’ll ever let Anson live that story down.

A Few More From Christmas

2013-12-30T11:19:00.000-07:00

Clara and Steven are lucky little people, because they also get to celebrate Christmas with Grandma and Great-Grandma! Sadly, by the time we arrived at my family's, Clara was really feeling ill. I did, however, manage to get a few photos, so here they are!

Oh, how I love these two children of mine. Clara was her spunk, love of words, and friendliness. Steven with his sweet smile and laugh, his desire to climb and scale every object in a room. They sure did make Christmas wonderful this year. I have a feeling next year will (somehow, though it seems unbelievable!) be even better.

Christmas 2013

2013-12-28T10:38:00.000-07:00

This has been the best December that I can ever remember. I'm sure it was this good or better when I was a kid, but my memory is too poor to recall. The magic and excitement were always present this year. Having Clara around, seeing Santa, reading a new Christmas book every night, singing Christmas songs multiple times a day, the holiday parties, Baby Jesus... it all amplified the Christmas Spirit and helped me see things from her sweet perspective.

We spent Christmas Eve Eve (not a typo) through Christmas Day with Anson's family. It was my first White Christmas and I loved it! I really liked being trapped in the cabin with carloads of kids and most of my inlaws, believe it or not. (Really!) Everything was simple, just the way I like it. Unfortunately, my kids (and a few others) were sick the entire time. Steven woke up multiple times the first night, refusing to nurse, and only agreeing to fall asleep if I was sitting upright with his head on my chest. I was tired, but thanks to Clara, I can now run on very little sleep. ;) My sweet Clara is a trooper and didn't throw any fits or act like a brat, but she had puffy eyes and had to lay down every time her ibuprofen wore off. It made me sad to see her like that, especially on Christmas, the day she has been so excited for all month!! :(

Without further ado, here are the photos from the first part of Christmas:

^^First, we cut down the Christmas tree^^

^^Clara and I built a snowman. She has been so obsessed with snowmans lately, that we even heard her singing Frost the Snowman in her sleep!^^

^^Clara insisted on being an angel in the live nativity. She sang Joy to the World at the top of her lungs, even though she didn't know any of the words.^^

^^Christmas morning was wonderful. The gift giving was short and simple, which encouraged a lot of excitement about what everyone was getting, and also provided lots of time to express gratitude.^^

Part of me wishes that Christmas could last all year, but deep down I know that waiting for each year makes it that much more special. Still, I'm trying to leave my Christmas tree up as long as possible, even though it's dead!

First Day of Dance

2013-09-18T15:34:00.000-07:00

This little girl is killing me. Though it hurts a little bit to realize she's growing up, I can't deny that being her mom just keeps getting better and better.

Her first dance class is something I've been waiting for forever. Okay, let's be real. I've been waiting for this moment before she even existed, probably before I was even married. Ha! And let me tell you, it did not disappoint! Little buns in a leotard are about the cutest things on Earth. And watching her hop like a bunny while wearing a crown and holding a wand? Yes.

Here are some photos from her first day at dance. She is wearing mommy's first leotard. :)

Keep dancing, baby girl!! (Or playing soccer or singing or whatever it is you love!)

BBQ, Cake, Presents, and Grandparents

2013-09-16T15:12:00.000-07:00

We had both sets of grandparents and both Mimis get together with us at our favorite BBQ place for Clara's birthday. (Yum, pulled pork!)

There are some moments that a mother will never forget. The look on Clara's face as we sang, "Happy Birthday" to her is something I will always cherish. I have never seen her look happier. She knew she was in the spotlight at that moment and that she was/is so very loved. I hope she knows that every day for the rest of her life.

Clara got the bulk of her presents that night. She received books, art supplies (and an easel from us!), clothing and, her favorite gift ever (!), a pirate spyglass.

Seriously, you could not pry that spyglass out of her hands for a week after the party!

A big thank you and hugs to our wonderful family for being so good to Miss Clara. We love you all!

Clara's Pirate Party

2013-09-14T14:47:00.002-07:00

My little lady turned two last month. I'm not ready for this growing up business. In the grand scheme of things, we are little kids for such a short time. That is really unfair to mothers, if you ask me! I'm trying my very hardest to soak up every moment and store all of these sweet memories, but life never slows down and my brain sure has a difficult time keeping up. I am so happy, and beyond grateful, that I get to spend every day with my sweet, funny, smart, sassy, crazy-haired girl.

Well, that's enough sappy stuff from me! The pictures aren't the best, but here is the little pirate party that I threw for Clara and her gaggle of cute cousins.

The food was all pirate-themed: Crab croissants, pb&j skulls, goldfish crackers, pirate jewels (fruit salad), pirate booty, swedish fish, fresh water, and sea water (blue punch). The kids got to pick and frost their favorite cupcake.

I made all of the kids hats out of newspaper and painted them black. I also made paper bag pinatas to look like Captain Hook and Jake from the Neverland Pirates.

^^Photobomb!^^

It was a great little party. I still can't believe that my baby is two...

I Want to Watch This a Million Times

2013-08-09T09:30:00.000-07:00

Here's our latest vacation video. Unlike the last one, I actually had a lot more footage to work with!

Weekend on the Beach from Kieren on Vimeo.

More California Photos

2013-08-08T09:30:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more beach pictures, as well as a dinosaur sighting!

Camping on the Beach

2013-08-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

It was a weekend of firsts for our family. We started it off with our first-ever car purchase and took a spontaneous trip to the beach. We camped alongside family and friends, underneath the stars, in our very first tent. Although I was uncomfortable, cold, cramped, and nursing all night long, everything felt special. I loved every moment spent sleeping like sardines on a queen-sized air mattress, a baby on each side of me.

I was most excited to see Clara's reaction to the beach. All of her new experiences are so fun to watch! She immediately sat down and started digging in the sand at the bottom of the stairs. She didn't even need to see the ocean to love the beach! Running from the waves and playing in the sand were her favorite things. And Steven? His favorite part was napping.

Here are the first half of our beach pictures; more to come tomorrow!

Family Vacation 2013 (video!)

2013-07-23T14:22:00.001-07:00

I decided to make a little video of our time on the road. There is something so fun about home videos. I can't wait to share these with Clara and Steven some day! Enjoy!

Family Vacation 2013 from Kieren on Vimeo.

Colorado 2013 (the part not in Colorado)

2013-07-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

The kids and I decided to extend our vacation with a stay at my parents' cabin. We spent every day down by the water, catching crawdads with peanut butter and lunch meat. Clara was lucky enough to see her first deer, elk, frog, and javelina on this trip, which made Grandpa very proud.

Here are a few pictures from the end of our trip:

As you can see, the crawdads were a big hit.

Colorado 2013

2013-07-15T13:10:00.000-07:00

The prospect of driving 9 hours with a pregnant woman, a newborn baby, a newly-potty-trained toddler, and 3 kids was sightly terrifying, but we made it!! The kids were troopers and we didn't even have any accidents, though I was slightly mortified when I had to dump Clara's potty into the trees at a very busy gas station. (Anything for the kids, right?)

Husband met us in Colorado just in time for the 4th of July parade.

(We sure do love that guy!)

We spent most of our days visiting with family, checking out the beautiful scenery, and picking wild strawberries.

Clara's favorite places were the stream and the pond. She would have stayed outside all day if I let her.

My parents were sweet enough to drive us back home. We spent a day in Telluride and took our time on the road. By took our time, I mean it took us about 6 hours to drive 100 miles, thanks to multiple blowouts and using the potty on the side of the road. (And then then we drove a couple hundred more miles!)

Taking big trips with little ones is daunting, but once I got out there I realized that the memories are worth it. Seeing Clara experience new things is better than almost anything.

The second half of our vacation will be up tomorrow!!

Oh, Special Day

2013-06-05T14:37:00.000-07:00

Just one day shy of three weeks, Mister Steven was given his name and blessing. What a lucky boy to have his father, two grandfathers, and six uncles in the circle. And yes, he screamed through the entire thing, even after I nursed him for 20 minutes. (I guess someone is a mama's boy!)

A Mother and A Son

2013-05-19T17:26:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the world, Steven Edward. This is your story.

It was Mother's Day, the day after my due date. I spent the morning in church, listening to men, women, and children tell stories about their mothers. It made me wonder what memories you might share about me someday. I wondered about the long road that lay ahead of us, the journey that would begin with a labor and a birth, so special to me, yet so normal in the span of Man's existence.

I didn't know when you would be coming, but I assumed that the time was close. I couldn't help being nervous. Was I strong enough to do this again?

After church we watched a movie together, crossing our fingers that your sister would fall asleep for a nap. Finally, she dozed off and your father and I snuck out to the living room to finish our movie. It was 3:10 pm and I had just finished an otter pop when I shifted my hips and my water broke!! Water started pooling between my legs while your father ran for a towel. There was so much that it spilled over onto the carpet while he was on his second run. Once everything was under control, we just stared at each other. I don't think either one of us had ever expected my water to break without any contractions.

I was extremely nervous. All I could think about were the stories I'd heard of how much worse contractions felt without your water bag. Yikes. I chewed on my nails and googled while I sat on a towel. Your father texted Dianne, the doula. I called my mom. Eventually my father-in-law came over to help give me a blessing. I cried at first, but was soon overcome with comfort and reassurance.

We grabbed some Arby's and headed over to my your Aunt Becca's house. I couldn't eat much, not even the delicious peanut butter bars that she made for me. I wasn't in any pain yet and I was unsure if I was even having contractions. We left their house around 7:30 to get Clara and the house prepped for what we expected to be a long night.

The midwife, Wendi, stopped by to check me at 8:30 pm. My mom and grandma arrived a few minutes before her. She listened to baby's heartbeat and checked positioning. She gave me some herbs to take if contractions didn't start, but she was positive that she would hear from us before 3:00 am.

We put Clara to bed and everyone tried their best to rest. I closed my eyes around 10:00 pm, but I couldn't sleep. At 11:00 pm I started to wonder if I had had a few contractions. They felt like braxton hicks and only came every 15-30 minutes. I then started to worry that I would never go into labor and became much too anxious to fall asleep. Sometime amidst all this wondering and worrying, I noticed that I was having contractions!

At 12:45 am I started timing contractions. They were all 0:50-1:30 in length and 4 minutes apart. Dianne, who must have great intuition, texted me at 1:00 am. I was unsure when I should head in to the birth center, as I didn't want to arrive too early. I did most of my laboring in my bedroom, on the birth ball or walking around. I had to move my hips and breathe deeply through each contraction. Your father and Grandma were with me at this point. Anson was totally calm and playing on his computer. Your grandma was worrying that I would have you right then and there!

I did really well handling the contractions, though every third or so contraction hurt much worse than the others. At one point my doula told me to try to rest on my side in between contractions. This caused a 9 minute gap in contractions and then when one hit, I was writhing on the ground in pain. Needless to say, I didn't lay down again!

At 3:19 am I texted Dianne that I thought I was ready to head in. The contractions were still 4 minutes apart, but were getting stronger. As soon as I had a contraction with a double peak (2:30 long!), I knew I shouldn't wait much longer.

We woke up your grandma and loaded into the car. I was shivering as I got inside. (I wondered if this meant transition, but I told myself it was just nerves!) Your father was driving like a mad man, so fast that Grandma was getting sick and had to ask him to slow down. I was taking the contractions one at a time, moving my hips with each one and focusing on keeping my hands totally relaxed.

We beat the midwife to the birth center by a few minutes. When she parked I was pacing the parking lot, in the middle of a contraction. By now they were 3 minutes apart. She opened the door and we said hello. At this point I still felt pretty normal between contractions.

Once in the room, I got the shivers again. I stopped timing contractions at 4:03 am. Wendi started to fill the tub. She then checked the baby's heartbeat and my vitals. I walked and danced with my contractions. With each one I would take inventory of all of my body parts that weren't in pain, especially my feet that somehow continued to move my body along. In between contractions I would run my fingers along different pieces of furniture. (Everyone laughed about it afterward, but in the moment it really helped to keep me grounded!)

At 4:30 am Wendi asked if she could check me. I consented after she promised me that I would be "far enough along." I was afraid to lay down (and take a contraction in that position), but she was quick and announced, "8 cm!" I was relieved!

After that, I got into the tub. I wasn't sure if it eased the pain, but I felt okay, so I decided to stay and give it a shot. I sat on my knees during the contractions while Anson put a cool cloth on my neck. I also started to move my head in circles during contractions. My mom switched with your father and started tickling my back. Suddenly I felt a downward pressure/motion within me and I said quietly, "Oh my gosh." I didn't say or do anything else, because I thought I might have imagined/wished it. With the next contraction or two, I started to feel a bulge. I could also feel that I was slightly open. I stayed on my knees, put my left arm along the back of the tub, and felt down below with my right. The next contraction had me crowning involuntarily (4:58 am). I gave a little test push and felt a lot of stretching, so I backed off and waited. I started talking (in my head) to you at this point, telling you to work with me to not damage my perineum. The next contraction, I almost had you out, but again, I just let myself stretch and took my time. The next contraction, I heard the midwife say something about backing off, so I started whispering, "back off, back off, back off," but it was too late, because your head popped out!! (Your father and grandma had no idea that you were that close, until they saw your head appear!) I spulled my right leg forward into a kneeling lunge to wait for the rest of your body. At that point I felt great and was able to look up at everyone and ask if you were okay underwater. They said, "Yes," so I sat back a little bit and waited for the next contraction. (I also asked if your eyes were open underwater. Haha! I remember thinking that it was so weird to feel so good with a baby's head hanging out of me!) The last contraction came and I was momentarily surprised that I needed to push a little bit to get your shoulders out. I gave a tiny push and you emerged, born into my hands at 5:02 am.

Everything was so clear and calm. I didn't cry. I just looked down into your beautiful eyes and tried to memorize the moment. My mom was crying. I eventually moved your towel aside and let Daddy see and announce your gender (a boy!) and he began to cry (he wanted a boy so bad!). I felt amazing, so confident, so powerful, so much older. I hung out in that position for a little while and was able to examine the cord and feel it pulsing. I remember being surprised at how clear the tub water was.

The midwife cut the cord and I eventually asked to get out of the tub. Your daddy held you for the first time and I was helped to the bed. I was so happy, but so exhausted; I just wanted to lay on the bed for a few minutes while everyone took turns meeting you. Eventually the placenta was expelled and my stomach was massaged, which was not pleasant! Thanks to our patience in the tub, I escaped without even a scratch. (Awesome!) They brought you back to me and I was able to try breastfeeding. You latched on the right side and nursed for about 20 minutes.

I was cleaned up by the nurses and the midwife showed me my placenta. Then the three of us were left alone to spend some time together. After pains were horrible and I asked for ibuprofen. The cramps were so strong that I couldn't think straight enough to figure out your middle name! Daddy was pretty set on his choice, though, and I was happy, because I always knew your first name would be Steven.

I tried to take a nap, but the room was way too hot and I couldn't relax, anyway, so I called you all back into the room. We had our vitals checked a few times, weighed (6 lbs. 10 oz.) and measured (20.5 inches), and we were discharged at 10:00 am. I didn't feel like I'd just given birth. My back and hips were a bit sore, but that was it!

I felt (and feel!) so lucky and so blessed to have had a perfect birth and a perfect son. I was scared to give birth again, but it was even better the second time around. With your sister I felt pure ecstasy and relief. With you, my son, I felt a confidence and a power in myself that I had never before felt. You changed my life by showing me that I really do have the strength and love of a mother.

Clara's First Birthday

2012-08-19T16:33:00.000-07:00

Here are a few photos from Clara's birthday party:

One of my favorite things about Husband's family is the multitude of children. They make every family function joyous, and this one was no exception. Though Clara won't remember it, I won't forget all the smiles on her face and how determined she was to eat her entire smash cake, one slow, deliberate bite at a time.

Yesterday was one of those days where I looked around and said to myself, "I am a mom." I am so excited for all of the birthdays, holidays, and gatherings I am sure to host as my family grows.

Pleasant Valley Days, Take Two

2012-08-01T07:53:00.000-07:00

It must be the archaeology nerd in me, but there is something about the past that always draws me in. Whether it's old stories, objects, or places, I'm hooked. A place like this is no exception. In fact, it may be even more intriguing, as it seems to be stuck in time, moving so slowly that I feel like I'm bound to run into a Tewksbury or a Graham at any moment.

Aside from that, old tractors provide great photo opportunities:

You know that's the image on our computer desktop. No question.

Pleasant Valley Days Parade

2012-07-31T07:37:00.000-07:00

There are few things I love more than small town parades, big blue skies, and fresh air. I am so looking forward to the day when I can live somewhere as beautiful as this, away from the big, dirty city. Until then, the Pleasant Valley Days will have to do.

Doily Inspired, Blue and Yellow Bridal Shower

2012-07-30T04:55:00.000-07:00

My cousin is getting married in September and I am honored to be one of her bridesmaids. Her wedding is being held at an adorable winery and the reception will be in an old, charming barn. She's so caught up in love at the moment that she hasn't given much design direction, but we've managed to wrangle a few key words out of her:

Sunflowers and daisies

Navy blue and yellow

Lace and burlap

Mason jars and handmade decorations

So when it came time to plan for her bridal shower, I immediately started brainstorming a few different ways to incorporate all of her wedding wishes. Right away, I bought a few yards of mismatched fabric, a bunch of burlap, and paper doilies in every size. I then put out the call to family for cake plates, mason jars, and interesting glassware. A few google image searches, a Pinterest board, and way too many sketches later... this is what I came up with:

Looking back at the pictures now, I see things I should have done differently or that weren't quite perfect, but guys...

GUYS...

I was and am so proud of myself for pulling this off!!

I purchased all of the supplies (with someone else's money, thank goodness), made all of the decorations (with some helping hands - thanks friends!), rounded up all of the dishes, purchased the flowers from a wholesaler, arranged the flowers (thanks again to friends!), set everything up (and again!), and executed every detail... and it turned out just how I imagined it would.

The bride loved it, the guests loved it, I loved it...

and I think I just discovered a new passion for party planning.

It was so much fun and so satisfying!

(I even minimized the awfulness of purple-carpeted walls!!)

Oh, and before I forget...

I especially loved these parts of planning a bridal shower:

Congratulations, Moquie!

Walker Action in the Rain

2012-07-26T22:18:00.000-07:00

I'm the mom that lets her baby crawl around in the dirt, go to the grocery store in a diaper, and snack on Otter Pops, so logically, I'm also the mother that lets her baby play in the rain.

But really, have you ever seen a baby that liked the rain so much?!

And don't even get me started on that circus animal cookie in her mouth...

My Little Sparkler (Is That Cheesy Enough?)

2012-07-25T06:58:00.000-07:00

I'm way past fashionably late with this blog post, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share my trying-to-be-really-cool sparkler action. Though it's nowhere near as cool as what you'd find on Pinterest, I'm still in love with Clara's name in sparklers and have to admit that it was a lot of fun to do! So here ya go:

As for the night itself, I had way more fun than last year. The fireworks were larger than a quarter, I wasn't forced to listen to rap coming out of a lowrider, I wasn't sweating up a pregnant storm, and we didn't have to almost run anyone over on the way home. (That all happened last year.)

Nick and I scoped out the perfect fireworks location, grabbed some ice cream, and found ourselves a front row seat. How there weren't more people near us, I'll never know! Clara was a doll, as usual, and didn't cry or startle at the fireworks. She simply gazed up at the sky and then fell asleep on the way home. Oh, how I love that girl. And the 4th of July, too!

Just Stop Growing Up Already

2012-07-23T21:32:00.002-07:00

Does it blow your mind to think that there will only be one more of these posts before my little lemon has her first birthday? Time just keeps slipping into the future, as that one Space Jam song would say.

So far 11 months have come and gone in what feels like: a brief a moment when things are good and an eternity when Clara isn't sleeping, wants to nurse like her life depends on it, and I have a pimple the size of Mt. Rushmore on my chin.

But here we are, 48 weeks into this thing called motherhood.

And it is awesome.

See more pictures of Clara than you ever wanted to see by clicking here.

Friends and Deer Burgers

2012-06-29T07:10:00.000-07:00

On occasion, Husband will do this funny thing where he calls me at 4:00 and tells me that we are having friends over for dinner at 6:30, though he promises to be home by 5:00. What inevitably happens is the following:

The kitchen looks like the scene of a grocery store massacre.

My tablecloth is a piece of un-hemmed fabric with a square cut out of one corner.

Clara helps with the cooking by bear hugging my legs and screaming at the top of her lungs... for an hour.

Husband gets home at 6:00, after all the food is prepped.

I serve gourmet deer burgers on dollar store hamburger buns.

And I spend the entire night thinking:

"Gosh, Lincoln is so cute!!"

"Why don't we get together more often??"

And finally:

The beans get left out overnight and I spend the next day mourning the loss of my leftover lunch possibilities.

So there's that.

When It's Not Too Hot

2012-06-27T07:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, the most exciting thing we do is crawl around on the grass or play in the gravel. Though I spend the majority of these outings retrieving leaves and rocks from Clara's mouth, I also spend a lot of time admiring her process of discovery. For instance, on this day, she recognized a bird's chirping, followed the sound up into a tree, focused on the bird, and pointed up at it. How exciting for her to see and watch a bird for the first time! And how amazing to realize that she couldn't have done these simple actions just a few weeks ago.

Weeks 31-42

2012-06-25T07:29:00.000-07:00

Remember when I used to blog? Me too!

Remember when I took photos of my baby every week? Usually.

Remember when I posted those pictures every six weeks? Me neither!

So, it turns out that I have been a major bum in the cool-growth-photo-series-thing area. No computer at my dispense, no motivation to do anything but eat trail mix, Disneyland, and a baby that morphed from fat, photogenic blob to a non-stop crawler, and there you go.

Without further ado, the past 12 weeks of Clara!

And somewhere around 40 weeks, my baby started to look like a toddler.

(Sad mommy.)

See the full series here.