Kikastrophe

Elite

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 09:20:30 PST

I am a special being born with unique powers, which give me the ability to feel much deeper and stronger than everyone else. I need to go through special training to teach me how to ground this power so it doesn't leave my control and explode. I also have the ability to feel what others have, almost in a psychic sense. While the downside is intense/extreme pain and sadness, I also feel

Emotions

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 11:57:20 PST

Well, its been a crazy up and down week. Lets start facts: I'm moving back out of the house into my own place, and received a text from the girl I'm taking her contract from that it'll be this weekend or beginning of next week when I can move in. My room includes that giant window on the bottom left of the house. That whole section is mine. Its as big as the living room which is the other

The Barrier

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 12:07:24 PST

The Barrier. Once upon a time, there was a girl. She was different. Everyone could tell she was different, but no one knew why. She did though, or at least she had an inkling. See, she was stuck in a world behind a barrier while the rest of the world walked freely. The people who knew her the best recognized there was a barrier, while there were some people who didn't believe it existed

Understanding

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 09:17:28 PST

Twitterfriend: But any emotions that weren't positive were rejected, so I learned to push them all aside. That's not a healthy way to live. Fundamentally flawed. Yes. It's the worst feeling in the world. Nobody should have to feel that way. me: I feel like if I want to be someone who is wanted or accepted, then I have to be the friend who never gets mad or who never feels angry Twitterfriend:

Borderline Dump

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:49:20 PST

“I wаs juѕt wondering if, when you got cured оf BPD, or at ӏеast wеrе wеӏӏ on tһе way to recovery, wһether уou wеre аbӏe tо heal аny of thе relationships that уоu hаd lost becauѕе of BPD issues? I hаѵе sо mаny of thоѕe relationships, people that I miss and wіѕh werе back іn my life. And if yоu did, I’d be interested in knowing hоw you went аbоut dоing that. Thanks а lot.” - Someone with BPD The

Borderline

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 14:49:11 PST

Borderlines are the patients psychologists fear most. As many as 75% hurt themselves, and approximately 10% commit suicide — an extraordinarily high suicide rate (by comparison, the suicide rate for mood disorders is about 6%). Borderline patients seem to have no internal governor; they are capable of deep love and profound rage almost simultaneously. They are powerfully connected to the people

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 14:31:12 PST

Lovely. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001931/ I've always wanted to have Borderline Personality Disorder. This is the reason that BYU therapy services are telling me I'm beyond their help. Based on questions they asked, and my evaluation of my life and things that are happening they have unofficially diagnosed me with BPD. And recommend that I come take a psychiatric

Identity Crisis - Codependency

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 18:48:03 PST

Codependency is unhealthy love and a tendency to behave in overly passive or excessively caretaking ways that negatively impact one's relationships and quality of life. It also often involves placing a lower priority on one's own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of othersPeople who are codependent often take on the role as a martyr; they constantly put other's needs

Hairstyles

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 15:47:08 PST

I have a feeling that most of these are the same hair styles.... And i seem to like the razor cut. I dumped everything into this. Tell me. Which one. The ones with * around them are the ones I'm looking at closely. ** ** ** ** **

Validation

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 08:56:27 PST

Me: Question. Usually people who undergo trauma most of their lives.... Aren't normal. Am I... Not normal? And I just don't realize it? Nathaniel: I have a few thoughts A) I don't think I'm qualified to give more than my perception, I am not one to make such a call. But I can say what I perceive as long as you promise to take it with salt Me: Salt. Okay. Nathaniel: (B) I know many people who are

Safe

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 15:05:05 PST

As of right now, I'm taking control of my life. I'm giving off several impressions that are not particularly true. I am capable of taking care of myself, whatever it looks like. I may look like a pathetic piece of work while crap happens, but crap has happened for a year, and I've done everythig myself with the support of my friends. Being "saved" inflicts on some of my core beliefs...

Suffer

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 19:32:58 PST

I seem, to find myself magically suffering (paranoidly I might add) for every pessimistic version of every situation. Why do I do this? Is it self defense? Suffer it now, so that when it actually happens, it won't hurt as much? I find myself running scenarios through my head, of what to say when what is said. Facial reactions that keep me composed, not betraying the hurt I feel behind my

Enlightenment

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 14:18:31 PST

Dear Readers, [insert how are you's and things are good yadda yadda] After having a conversation with Nathaniel, it was decided that several of the posts should be pulled for the time being. (Why the heck is my default color this green thing? ) K. Better. Now, this is based on a number of reasons, but none of which is because I did anything wrong. I do hope and expect that some of these posts

Flitting through the office.

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 14:14:44 PST

Once upon a time, I wandered down the aisleways towards one of the managers to ask a question about our product. A question that got several other cubicles involved in the answer. After clarifying the answer I turned to walk down the long Aisle to my cubicle. After looking around to make sure no one could see me, I started skipping through the aisle in a similar manner to those videos you

A Conglomeration of Events up til the Perfect Moment

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 20:28:34 PST

I like how every post I seem to write has a backstory of like... 3 days. There's a chance I never get to where I want to go with the post. For the last week, Nathaniel has not been himself. He's been distant, and annoyed, and even a little cranky sometimes, and I know that he's got lots of things he's working out in his head. Kate comes to Utah today, and even to his brother's house to pick up

Compare

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 15:42:15 PST

Once upon a time, a friend wanted me to grab them sheet music for "Last Kiss" and "You belong with me" by Taylor Swift. She wanted a different arrangement, and so I turned to youtube. Usually, people will put up their music, and then post a link to the sheet music. So I started sending off links to them, helping them learn to find the sheet music, and there on the search page, was this: Yes

The Real Hike Post Pt. 1

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 00:19:13 PST

Blah. OKAY! so. Saturday. I'm thinking to myself at this point, that I wanted to do something epic. (And in reality, Epic is what it turned into) I had this awesome thought: What if we were to hike somewhere to eat. And I thought of Stewart Falls, and relatively easy hike with a waterfall. And thinking to myself, "Dear self, what if we were to stay out late enough to utilize the telescopes

[Drafts]

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 17:08:05 PST

I have a whole bunch of drafts.... posts that never got finished. Some of the larger ones I have plans to finish... but I have a collection of smaller ones that will never get finished because I don't remember what I was writing. Read on... I know that many names are mentioned in these.... Here they are: "An Excerpt from my Novel" - Jan 25, 2008 I found him on one of the observation decks

When We Met

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 17:07:05 PST

[Another Random draft I found in my drafts folder as I'm reorganizing the blog. I do plan to finish it. I just feel like putting this out right now. You know me. I'm facetious.] Dedicated to my Future Children: May you always know that someone out there exists just to be there for you, even if its not forever. Somedays, I wish I had the nerve to talk to random people. But no, I have to be

Just so you know

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 14:16:02 PST

Dear you who is going through my blog looking for information about a certain person multiple days in a row. Using a proxy server on the blog doesn't change that fact that I CAN STILL SEE YOU! Stalking: You're doing it wrong. And I refuse to let you use my raw pain and stories against him. If you have questions you can ask me. Or you can ask him. Googling his name is stalking. Spending

The Treehouse

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 12:40:53 PST

The next day, I found myself oddly thinking about this boy. so much that I started going through his facebook. Pictures after pictures detailed his personailty and life right before me. I was presented with a dilemma. My old roomate Kristen did photoshoots every Thursday, and well, Cory was always present at them. And while he seemed to be nice, there's always tension, and I come away feeling

Night 1

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 14:24:04 PST

Time to catch you all up. About a week ago I recieved a message on Facebook from this guy, Nathaniel. He randomly had accepted my friend request.. (wha?) and was trying to figure out where he knew me. *scramblescramble* *digs through facebook*can't quite figure out where I added him from. Or why. Typically my reason was that he was cute, and I found him through someone elses profile.

Cortana

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 09:58:32 PDT

P.S. Check out my 101 in 1001 and see how I'm doing!

Serendipity

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 08:32:18 PDT

At the start of the summer semester I was taking a Russian Class. Every day, I would log out of my phone at work, and make my way to the class at 9. I work in the basement, and would wander the twisty hallways to the stairway that leads up by the Graduation Office by the Hall of Flags. As you walk up the stairs, a giant window into the graduation office comes into view, and the first thing

My 2nd Family

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 16:49:52 PST

It surprises me, how close I can be with my friends. They're like a 2nd family to me, which is why, I guess, I get my underwear in a ruffle if I'm not treated on equal ground with the rest of them, or why it causes me so much pain to have it split. Not everyone else sees them the same way I do. And most of the time I try to splooge on them all equally. Kristen got married. It was her