pointless poetry and some other stuff

badge

2010-11-06T06:51:00.001+08:00

the 5th of november. i rode a cab from makati to poypoy's place. as with most cab drivers in manila, the driver, a man around his 60's asked that i add a little to the metered fare. we finally came up with a deal and we sped our way towards valenzuela.

as soon as i tried to close my eyes, manong driver started ranting about his life as a police officer in vizayas and how he managed to score women during his uniform days. my mind began to signal red. you see, i hate cops. i am annoyed by their arrogance. i could also admit that i am afraid of them. and this driver is one arrogant ass. he began recounting his fictitious i-knocked-up carmi martin story and how he almost lost his wang when his other woman found out that he had plenty of other women.

after that, i somehow tried to be comfortable. i began asking him stories about the academy, how it is being a police officer and if he ever extorted anyone. he was honest enough to admit that the force is a tarnished one. he asked me some sample questions that were asked during a police promotion exam. luckily, i failed them all.

mr. police/driver recounts his taxi adventures that whenever he is stopped by policemen, he just waives his expired id and badge and just mentions that he is still an active cop, of course, with hubris. by the time we arrived in letre, a police car flagged us to stop. police/driver waived his badge and began his speech about being in the force and so and so... i had assumed that i had a smoking violation since we were both smoking inside the cab when we were hailed by the cops. they then let us go. i told him how impressed i was and he puffed his chest all the more.

a few minutes on the road later, we were hailed again, by the same police car. they spoke longer than the first time and from the car, i saw police/driver's face wrinkle, then sag. apparently, the cops took his license and registration because the cab had some registration issues with LTFRB. we continued our trip, my driver's pride shaken a little. when he dropped me at marulas, he took more than what our deal was. i just let it slide. somehow, i pity the old man.

i guess there are times that we continuously hold on to power. an id and a badge may give you pass. but for me, its just cardboard and a piece of junk. some people just can't accept things for what and how they are.

november

2010-11-05T07:42:00.000+08:00

harry potter movie.
naruto 515.
having a job with a decent internet connection.
wonderful boyfriend who actually acts like one.

isn't november awesome?

whistle

2010-10-28T09:03:00.005+08:00

there they are, dancing around my unsuspecting vision, seeking refuge on my fears.

today, millionaire me told me he can't wait no more. i told him there is someone we love. who is asking for a chance and somehow, should deserve a little patience from us. a chance for himself.

so i give in. and from here, we wait.

quarters

2010-10-27T06:52:00.003+08:00

i caught it.

for years i have been an emo kid until later when i became as carefree as a stunt driver without the actual stunts. my friends had it some time ago and some time right now too but i never knew it hits you in the face so suddenly. you just realize that you're thinking about everything and anything that will happen or that is happening or has happened and you begin to tally your life with so many numbers that you almost feel like you're just an irrelevant turd among people.

i choose not to tell people. i just want things to be as they are as is with everyone who catches it. you wonder how they do it. but then again, you're still alive.

on stooping so low

2010-10-04T05:09:00.002+08:00

panting,

the silence is tired

of being quiet, yet, the surge

of passion, excuses no one

in the eyes of reason,

in the blindness of justice,

i cried.

and somehow, crocodiles are man's best friend.

paco

2010-10-01T05:19:00.004+08:00

along the yellow streets

outside my house

the waters

murk

in silence

dreamily speaking

'he comes, he comes'

like silent, ambient

reminders of hope

yet flood,

like men,

like love,

only arrives (when)

unwelcomed.

marginalized intelligence

2010-05-12T05:10:00.000+08:00

I was on a cab from taguig going to SM North when I spotted a huge banner of a Quezon City ordinance posted along the elliptical road banning campaign billboards and posters along all major roads in Quezon City. As if sarcastically making a statement are posters of Bayan Muna, Satur Ocampo, and Liza Maza hogging every inch of the island in the middle of North Avenue , a few feet from the huge ordinance sign.

Ano daw? These people have been known to fight for justice and their so called truths yet they cannot even follow the simplest of ordinances. They even dare to post their stickers alongside the ordinance banner. Seriously, if they intend to change the government, do they intend to change the whole of it? I know that they were not the ones who put those posters up themselves but they represent the people who support them. Its amazing that anarchists want representation in a government they want to put down.

Buti na lang talo sila. Belat.

lazy-boy

2010-03-01T11:04:00.003+08:00

so its march. day one of my ever disengaging bouts of astronomical apathy towards corporate pilipinas (not so) . and if i ever plan to make myself rich, i would have rather stolen money from strangers sleeping in bus seats.

but you gotta. and it sucks big time that you would have to drag yourself to work on the very first day you start with it. drag. i beg for an epiphany before 1930 eastern standard time.

redemption

2010-01-23T05:13:00.000+08:00

night moves quietly
with an awkward glance
at your bellowed laughter
i smirk, then
grin, then sheepishly
giggle at the horizon
that is
a feet and a half
in front of me.

christmas

2009-12-25T04:35:00.004+08:00

i weep on your doorknob.

that cold, shiny thing that protrudes from your door.

and silently, i await your answer

without ringing the bell

or even knocking

but i peeked a little from your window

and i saw someone else

and you seem happy

and i am happy that you are

but why do i

suddenly find the urge to knock

just say hello

without intending to say goodbye

feigning goodbye one more time

and those trees you cut were supposedly mine

and that mistletoe should have been ours

i wanted to be your man

i wanted to hold you once more and never let go

but you're happy

and now my charade is over

i love you. and loving you has crippled me to do so again.

blogging about the twilight saga: new moon

2009-11-26T16:15:00.002+08:00

should i say something about the movie? should i reference it to the book from where it has been adapted? should i mock the insipid writer who traded her soul to the sidewalk vendor who sells bland, disgusting squid rings?

should i start ranting about vampire hair care and the longevity of dreadlocks and the possibility of vampire lice? should i wonder how the nosferatus sparkle in direct sunlight like diamonds (which are a girls best friend)?

hmmm...

perhaps i should say something cool about wolves who walk shirtless and buff with their nasty temperaments and easy-going lifestyle. cliff-diving? seriously? can someone offer these guys a shirt?

or maybe i can talk about bella who keeps talking about what an ordeal break ups are. i've been through so many but one whole book about bad break up habits is too much. and turning it into a movie is overcrowding the noah's ark. cliff-diving? seriously?

hmmm... maybe i should say something about the movie and let people know that they cannot afford to buy the film's soundtrack. lets play a game of how many songs can you squeeze in. a change of mood can blurt out a different rhythm; i am surprised that kristen stewart did not sing along the tune. oh i remember, bella currently hates music!

perhaps i should write something inspired by this movie. a torture manual anyone?

peace out!

briefs

2009-11-23T23:50:00.004+08:00

i confess.

i am officially addicted to Naruto. i have finished the series beginning to current and the manga too, fell in love with Sai, got irritated to Sasuke and Sakura, amazed by Shikamaru, secretly had a crush with Kiba (and almost wanted to dognap Akamaru), mourned over Jiraya and won a bet with Tsunade in a span of three-and-a-half weeks. The show and the manga still continue.

- - -

right now i am sooo busy writing, juggling meetings for my high school alumni and squeezing in a little dating here and there. i had been doing the writing gig for a while now thanks to the nudging of a dear friend and i can say i am able to survive. and somehow, happy.

- - -

a dream of mine is about to come true. in january, i shall be handling a small class of high school students from my rural school and teach them a few things about writing. it shall be my personal advocacy to volunteer for this workshop. i shall be doing lessons a day a week hoping that i can make some difference here and there. hopefully... with my fat fingers crossed. i shall probably blog about this project of mine come january.

bus stops

2009-11-08T14:48:00.007+08:00

seriously, there is something wrong with me.

i don't remember exactly when this had first happened or how; but whenever i ride the bus especially when the destination is cubao, my mind goes haywire. as soon as i get my money ready to pay the approaching conductor five rows ahead (i normally won't sit at the first five rows given the choice), i start thinking of marlboro lights. yes. the cigarette. it's not that i want to smoke or anything but it starts competing with what i should say as my destination. in my mind, i have to repeat my destination over and over again for fear that i may actually say marlboro lights instead of cubao.

one time i rode the bus at monumento to meet with a friend at cubao. the conductor approached me for my payment and asked where i'll be getting down. i had rehearsed cubao over and over again in my mind but i began to space out and i told the guy "monumento." he stared at me and said i rode the bus at monumento with a slight sneer. i chuckled and said " oh sorry, marlboro lights!" what?

i don't know how to figure this thing out. am i really that much of a wacko? whaddup. true story.

freeverse

2009-11-04T03:25:00.004+08:00

and then you start typing.

i finger the keys like a piano. the melodic rhythm of the board and the sight of the graceful movements my hand does when i type is awesome. your blood runs through your whole body and your brain starts to shiver and you punch the keys without ever thinking what you need to write; what else is needed to be written. it is impossible to stop as you tremble and focus every hit to a single letter that would make up a word that your mind dictates. this is all just a mind game. coordination and subordination and endless chatter of letters all jammed up and ready to be released into the world.

and i am now caught by the riptide of jumbled words trying to seek synergy and without a doubt failing and since this is the first time i am doing this, i might as well do this again.

let the madness reign over me.

- - -

just one experiment. typing continuously without much thinking of what to write. oh well, i'll go back to my genjutsu training.

hapuku

2009-11-02T04:53:00.004+08:00

there are moments that force you to be destroyed and hide among the destruction. brief moments that you cower at the face of fear, forgetting the things that you value. it is never an easy path to always be in the light. nor was it any easier to be in kept in the dark.

wala lang. im just my usual drumbeat-out-of-tune.

- - -

hmmm... day in and day out my days have been uneventful. i am having a hard time mustering my strength and will to get out of the house and you know, date. i feel that my world is beginning to look like the cyberspace. i need some digital fresh air.

one second bliss

2009-11-01T07:47:00.003+08:00

what happened here?

i see a mess. and a fine mess it is. i have always been complaining about everything. but right now, at this very instant, this second, i am actually enjoying what i'm doing. i am happy.

and i'm savoring it.

copulation - literal and cussful

2009-10-25T01:20:00.007+08:00

it has been annoying for two straight days now. it was that time of the year when moths breed. and damn were they plenty. the worst part is, they hover just in the level of your face. it is annoying that thousands of moths are having sex in your face. it is disgusting and offensive! i don't care if they jump in on an airborne invertebrate swingers party but to do that in my face is just downright degrading.

god i need to get laid.

- - -

so i had been in this relationship that ended a couple of months ago leaving me clueless why it did. for some time, i occasionally send a text message or try to make a call to the guy with a goal of getting a response aka closure. so many things had already happened in my life. i quit my job, lost my house, fumbled on unemployment and almost dated.

note: please do not read this if you are someone who will have holes in your life because your friend does.

i had my life going perfectly fine. sure, i send a text message once in a while but i was so used to not getting a reply from him. but this time he did. and after all the time i've spent moping and wondering what went wrong, he lets me know i was to blame without even letting me know why he does. so i mope and wonder and contemplate and ask him again. he does the same thing and just shoves it in my face that it was all my fault. that i was the one who left. why would i mope and cry and contemplate and have a hard fucking time moving on if i was the one who left him. how can one person torture you by not telling what the fuck is wrong. is the truth so hard to explain to me. yeah he is a registered nurse and i am a college drop out but damn he can't even read a whole poem. why is it so hard to explain? and why am i so hung up with that asshole.

afternote: i told you. you should not have read this.

strangers in the night

2009-10-22T03:28:00.004+08:00

3:47 am. it has been a while since i had last blogged and i hope my now two readers would grant me pardon. for nothing has been happening in my life lately to exact a smitten feeling. perhaps i should tell the story of that one who slept over but i would bore myself to extinction if i relieved the ordeal of inviting a stranger to my house, which i shall never do again, i hope.

well... i have ran out of words to say after reading new moon. i have found black boy appealing and a better choice than the blood sucker. i prefer dogs over mosquitoes. that juliet wannabe sure is retarded.

i should finish my blog with a tanaga so as to compensate my lack of desire to write today.

the world precariously sat

atop an old woven mat

and a man obviously strung

by his own weight as he hung

marauder's map

2009-10-17T13:30:00.004+08:00

is life really a matter of getting lost and getting found? perhaps it's time i do the looking,
shouldn't i?

a night unaccounted

2009-10-16T01:58:00.003+08:00

i cannot do it

this world is without empty

stands for naught

without cold reason to suffer

only the artist that

bore the mark of his sin

only the reaper who

wore the cloak

must die

he who exhales passion

committed a crime

must die

validation

2009-10-15T02:24:00.005+08:00

i had almost fallen prey to sacrificing myself in lieu of getting in favor with the social network. it is funny that i had almost created a new identity, something in semblance of me but a totally different path... one that i fear may consume my method of writing. almost at the point of simile with others.

yes, i was guilty to have spent hours tweaking css and brain storming for content that i had almost left my original blogs to the deep recesses of the blogosphere. i am thankful that i did not wander that path.

sometimes, you just need real people to validate you, for you to know that you are.

katha ni kiko is open for egging

2009-10-10T00:00:00.003+08:00

i had been dying to make a blog in filipino for months now. finally, i was able to finish the blog and throw in some one-two punch poetry on the side. its a blast.

who am i kidding. its a pain in the ass. the blog is pathetic. who reads poetry. worse, poetry in filipino??? no one is ever going to read that!

if i were you, i wont click this.

new look

2009-10-05T03:55:00.004+08:00

yahoo! finished the blog's new look.

after eons of cussing and fussing i have finally changed my theme.

room for improvement of course, but at least i am no longer green.

here, i plant my dream

2009-10-03T20:20:00.003+08:00

soon...

this view shall be mine.

do you know how to count?

2009-10-02T14:30:00.005+08:00

20, 21, 22... silence.. 30.

my sister is an sk councilor with a feisty disposition to corruption. ondoy had, again, woken up the bitch in her when she heard someone counting the relief goods to be given to the people who suffered the most. so, the guy counting skipped. and a bitch slap was in check, courtesy of my sister. but was a bitch slap enough to change the way of the world?

i wonder what can be the most wonderful way to kill these bastards who steal relief goods from ondoy victims. probably stuff them up with stale rice. you decide.