King Cricket

Mushtaq Ahmed takes lots of wickets

2025-04-15T13:17:00.002+01:00

Mushtaq Ahmed's great isn't he? Stumbling in with all the eagerness of a slightly simple dog; screaming his appeals like a slightly simple dog; and working out the batsman's weaknesses like the biggest supercomputer in the world. Plus he's got a beard. We're a fan of Mushtaq Ahmed's, make no mistake. We're led to believe that he's a nice bloke as well, but we'd think that Mushtaq Ahmed was nice whether we'd heard that or not.

There was a strange sort of a match between Durham and Sussex yesterday. Sussex won by an innings and 39 runs having only managed 229 in their one innings. Durham were bowled out for 110 in their first innings and then, having reached 47 without loss in their second innings, fell to 80 all out.

It was pretty damp weather yesterday, so your first thought would be that it was perfect weather for swing and seam, but that wasn't it. Steve Harmison may have proved his form with 4-43 during Sussex's innings and Rana Naved-ul-Hasan, who we were embiggening a couple of days ago, may have taken nine wickets in the match, but it was Mushtaq Ahmed's day - as it so often is.

He took three wickets in an over to presage Durham's second innings collapse and finished with match figures of 10-37. It's probably fair to say that Durham's batsmen didn't get the measure of him. Not many do. We could probably take the trouble to find out how many wickets he's taken in county cricket and at what average, but we all know how good Mushtaq Ahmed is without statistics, don't we?

Mushtaq Ahmed is as good as buying the wrong type of beer only to find that you prefer your accidental selection.

Mushtaq Ahmed decides the County Championship

2025-04-15T13:16:00.002+01:00

Mushtaq Ahmed has pretty much decided the County Championship by taking 4-60 in bowling out Sussex's opponents, Nottinghamshire, for 165. He's now taken 4-6 to reduce them to 50-4 in their second innings. That's four wickets for six runs, to clarify.

But more than that, Mushtaq Ahmed's season-long contribution has also decided the County Championship. The man just takes heaps and heaps of wickets. If you're batting last against Sussex, you're done for.

Mushtaq Ahmed has now taken 12,000 first-class wickets for Sussex at an average of 4.15. He has, at one time or another, bowled out everyone in the phone book and even some fictional characters, such as Sherlock Holmes and Wizbit - Wizbit came down the pitch and was stumped.

Lancashire will rightly blame the weather for their impending runners-up spot, but we're sure they'll not begrudge Sussex the title one bit. They shouldn't.

Worth pointing out that we moved from here years ago

2018-04-13T10:10:00.004+01:00

The site is now here.

Tom Smith - voter apathy likely to hold him back

2014-04-14T16:42:00.001+01:00

We've neglected our Tips for the Future for quite a while now. It occurred to us that maybe Tom Smith of Lancashire warranted inclusion after he took 4-55 yesterday.

By any standards Tom Smith has had a blazing start to the season, but there are a few factors counting against him. Our Tips for the Future are meant to be international players who we hope will make a big impact at Test level and in that regard we have a few reservations about Tom Smith.

If other observers are to be believed, he's not actually fast, but fast-medium. In international cricket we don't have a great deal of time for fast-medium bowlers. It's the difference between Old Jason Gillespie and Current Jason Gillespie for example. Also, there's the first season syndrome, where players achieve a great deal because no-one knows what they're doing. The following season when opposing players are familiar with them, they struggle.

Conversely, he's clearly doing something right to take all these wickets; we thought that he was quite quick; and rumour has it he can bat a bit. So should we make the leap and induct him in our Tips for the Future or not? There's nothing at stake because we don't have any credibility, but we would have to write another post and then copy the link into the Tips for the Future post. If there's any opinion either way from our readers, we'll go with that.

Graeme Swann - season verdict

2013-12-22T08:05:00.000+00:00

With a batting average of 27.30 and a bowling average of 44.53, Graeme Swann fell some way short of the pass mark for an all-rounder. He also fell some way short of being 'good'.

We were hopelessly wrong in predicting a great season for Graeme Swann. We're not sure we'll ever be able to forgive his treachery. And why should we?

In a word: Carpet.

Back to the end of season verdicts

We had our first Ashes dream

2013-07-10T10:42:00.000+01:00

Not our first Ashes dream ever. Are you mental? No. The first for this series (which doesn't start for months yet).

It was quite a good one, fulfilling many of the Ashes dream criteria, but it did end on a bit of a cliffhanger and there was a degree of frustration involved.

It was the first Test, as it always is in Ashes dreams and it was being played in Jamaica, which is just about never the case in Ashes dreams. Australia batted first and hit 500. This is a surprisingly common theme in Ashes dreams. Sometimes the Aussies are crushed from the outset, but more frequently they maintain their world-beating aura until the final act.

On this occasion England started their fightback in the first innings. Michael Vaughan (yes, Michael Vaughan) declares with England on 780 and Andy Flintoff unbeaten on 177. We're not too sure why Michael didn't let Flintoff get his double hundred. It was only the end of the second day because England had scored so phenomenally quickly.

At this point we go off to the pub, but unfortunately we can't find the bar. Then Afridi (who is our cat) starts squeaking and jumping on our feet and we wake up. We don't know why he squeaks. We're going to train him to shout 'Howzat' instead, although that might be even more annoying at 5am.

Mark Cosgrove: Batsman, mathematician, scholar

2013-06-26T17:29:00.000+01:00

Mark Cosgrove has today described Darren Lehmann's eternal abilities, while being interviewed about South Australia's hopes for the season:

"He somehow always makes 1,000 runs. Even if he seems to have the worst year, you look at his figures and go, 'he actually still got 800 runs'."

What's making us point out that Mark Cosgrove doesn't know that 800 is less than a thousand? It's a fairly innocuous thing - a verbal slip, at most. Would we be reporting this if it were any other player?

It's because he's a little bit fat, isn't it? Any excuse for a post on a fat cricketer.

Darren Lehmann should go for the record

2013-06-26T17:28:00.000+01:00

Darren Lehmann has 261 not out from 302 balls. It's his highest score for Yorkshire. David Hopps in the Guardian says that this is Lehmann's final game for Yorkshire. Perhaps it's his final game for anyone - we don't know. Well what better way to go out than to break Brian Lara's first-class record of 501.

Okay. It's a long way off, but it's not unreasonable. Yorkshire need to score more points in this match than their opponents, Durham, to survive in the first division. They don't actually need to win. Besides, we've only had one day's play and Lehmann's well over half-way there. He's a fast scorer and we're sure he could up it a notch if he were in with a shout.

We wouldn't bet against Darren Lehmann. Also from that same David Hopps article, Darren Lehmann has hit 8,532 runs for Yorkshire at 66.66. That's just monstrous. How this guy only played 27 Tests is beyond us.

Failing the 501, Darren's own highest score is 301.

Sorry to keep going on about him, but we're just not sure that you're getting EXACTLY how much better than other batsmen Darrenn Lehmann is. You have to ask yourself: How much more better could he be? The answer, of course, is 'none'. None more better...

You know that we're just messing about with the previous paragraph, don't you? We're not actually illiterate.

Darren Lehmann's Roses hundred

2013-06-26T17:27:00.000+01:00

Darren Lehmann's always the stand-out performer in any big game and he hit a hundred for Yorkshire in the current Roses match.

Lancashire are there or thereabouts for their first championship title since the Spanish armada, so this is one scorecard it's worth keeping an eye on.

Yorkshire are 344-9 after day one. Glen Chapple's been the pick of Lancashire's bowlers with 3-59.

Mark Cosgrove double hundred

2013-06-26T17:26:00.002+01:00

We're going to have to admit to ourself that we've a penchant for fat cricketers. Rob Key, Inzy, Darren Lehmann, Ian Austin - the evidence is really stacking up. Well by that rationale we'd better add Mark Cosgrove to the list.

Mark Cosgrove is nicknamed 'Baby Boof' for his resemblance to his South Australia team mate Darren Lehmann or 'Boof'. We asked our Australian friend why Darren Lehmann was called 'Boof' but he never really gave us a satisfactory answer. Anyway, Baby Boof, Mark Cosgrove, hit 233 not out off 258 balls for Glamorgan against Derbyshire yesterday. Big hundreds are where it's at. We're not sure about his face though.

He's obviously class. Darren Lehmann says he could win Australia a World Cup. The jury's out though because of the face. Although there is the fat factor...

Darren Lehmann wins one-day Roses match for Yorkshire

2013-06-26T17:26:00.000+01:00

That Darren Lehmann finished the match as the most successful bowler was a slight surprise; that he finished as the most successful batsman was nothing of the sort. He hit 92 off 69 balls. He’s demonstrably a class above everyone else plying their trade in county cricket.

We’d say that he was Australia’s second-best batsman after Ricky Ponting, which would put him in the top ten in the world. We don’t know what we’re saying by this. We’re just in awe of Darren Lehmann. Maybe that’s what all we’re saying. Maybe that’s all there is to say.

We'll try and shut up about him now. We know that we tend to get a bit carried away with things. Particularly when the player in question's a little bit fat. What is that? Why are we so swayed by it?

Next week, here at King Cricket: We write 25,000 words on why Ian 'Fatty' Austin was the greatest military-medium bowler of all time.

Do cricket fans dream of fat cricketers?

2013-06-26T17:25:00.002+01:00

You may not believe this, but it's equally possible that you will: We genuinely dream about overweight cricketers. Last night it was Darren Lehmann's turn. We'd like to dream about women or something, but for some reason, we don't get a say in it, even though it's our brain that's responsible.

Darren Lehmann From Dreams doesn't like being touched on his right shoulder. He'd just finished compiling a typically classy hundred for Victoria (does he play for Victoria at the moment?) and his batting partner put his arm around him to congratulate him. "Don't touch me there," said Darren Lehmann From Dreams.

We've always thought that, like most Australians, Darren Lehmann would be an easy-going sort of bloke. Darren Lehmann From Dreams seemed kind of grumpy. We spoke to him after his innings, which was compiled entirely during twilight for some reason. We thought we'd try and lighten the mood by cracking a joke about certain county teams trying to pick up extra bowling points by playing on sub-standard pitches. Darren Lehmann From Dreams didn't crack a smile. We can't say we blame him. He said that he didn't think anyone was doing that.

Darren Lehmann should still be playing for Australia

2013-06-26T17:25:00.000+01:00

Underrated Mal Loye has scored a hundred in today’s Roses match. We fully expect Darren Lehmann to do likewise when Yorkshire bat. Words can’t describe how much we think of Darren Lehmann. That he isn’t mentioned in the same breath as Lara and Tendulkar confounds us daily.

If Australia are going to persist with their policy of reverting to older players when they’ve got perfectly good younger ones hanging around getting into mischief, they may as well do it properly. That is to say that they should pick Darren Lehmann again. He’s probably retired from international cricket, we’re not sure, but who cares anyway. He’s magic. Lehmann’s worth half a dozen Damien Martyns and he could offer Ponting a bit of tactical advice too.

Dheeraj Jadhav tests himself against the best

2012-12-18T19:24:00.001+00:00

Dheeraj Jadhav has been in action against international opposition. He opened the batting for a Mahashtra XI against Australia in a warm-up.

He scored one.

He's still only 27. Plenty of time for our rash prediction to come true...

Justin Langer neglects a (w)hole category

2012-12-18T19:23:00.005+00:00

It's the latest in our new style of posts: Innocuous comments by Australian Test cricketers.

Justin Langer said: "Anyone who suggests there are holes in the Australian cricket team, they are very far from the truth, because what I've seen is a very united Australian cricket team who are very, very, very determined to win back the Ashes."

Justin Langer has forgotten about one kind of hole. This particular something-hole opens the batting with him.

In this picture, Justin Langer is clearly requesting a cup of tea. You can tell by his semi-outstretched pinkie. We smile when we're getting a cup of tea too, Justin. Tea is nice.

Zimbabwe get soundly beaten

2012-12-18T19:23:00.003+00:00

Bangladesh beat Zimbabwe. This is good. Ordinarily Bangladesh would have been in the post title, but we're expanding our vocabulary by using Zimbabwe as the subject for any number of 'get beaten' synonyms.

In fact we've not really got much to add to that. Our man Saqibul Hasan took 3-18 off ten overs in bowling Zimbabwe out for 130 in response to Bangladesh's 231. Shariar Nafees hit 123.

Shahriar Nafees - our inside scoop

2012-12-18T19:23:00.002+00:00

Way back in April we promised that we'd find out some more information about Shahriar Nafees. We never did. All we knew then was the following:

He was left-handed
He opened the batting for Bangladesh
He had just hit a Test hundred against Australia

Thankfully, we're far better informed now. This is the lowdown:

He IS left-handed
He DOES open the batting for Bangladesh
He ONCE hit a Test hundred against Australia
He just hit a one-day hundred against Zimbabwe

Farveez Maharoof takes a heap of wickets

2012-12-18T19:23:00.000+00:00

Farveez Maharoof took 6-14 for Sri Lanka today. The West Indies were all out for just 80 and Sri Lanka lost just the one wicket in overtaking that. It was pretty one-sided. No, it was massively one-sided.

6-14's really something. It was a slow wicket and it sounds like he just positioned men for the drive and then persistently landed the ball on the spot with a bit of seam movement. Easy.

Actually, it's not easy. It's simple. There's a difference.

Chaminda Vaas's day

2012-12-18T19:22:00.005+00:00

Chaminda Vaas is a weird bowler. He's your archetypal consistent medium-pacer these days. He's not too tall, he's not too fast, he doesn't do a great deal with the ball, but he's accurate. He's not all that, really. Then every now and again, conditions are in his favour and he's absolutely unplayable.

He was rather overshadowed by Farveez Maharoof today, but really it was Vaas who set things in motion. As an opening bowler, he sets the tone. Look at his figures: 2-6 off six overs. That's not very one-day international, is it?

Other Chaminda Vaas days have been the day when he took 8-19 against Zimbabwe - the only time anyone's ever taken eight wickets in a one-dayer. There was also the day when he took a hat trick with his first three balls against Bangladesh in the World Cup. Good days. Days that anyone would look back on with pride.

Chaminda Vaas is tremendously sunblock-happy at times.

Andrew Symonds defines the role of the opener

2012-12-18T19:22:00.004+00:00

Australian man, Andrew Symonds of Australia quoted from the ABC website:

"Looking forward, I suppose there is a little bit of opening there," 31-year-old Symonds said of the openers. "A number of players are there."

We've taken that entirely out of context. It's more fun that way. Trust us.

Must... write something... about... England's...one-day team

2012-12-18T19:22:00.002+00:00

We don't want to write anything. Everything's been said. For example:

"There's a sense of inevitability about England one-day losses at the moment. You don't know quite how they're going to lose, but they will. They might get themselves in a good position and lose. They might let the game get away from them early on. They'll definitely lose though."

That's a quote of our ourself from June the 19th.

Or how about this post, entitled 'England's one-day team - what's wrong' about England's batting letting them down in one-dayers in India. Read it. We could have republished it today, word for word. There's progress.

Ordinarily we at least try and acknowledge 'encouraging' aspects of England one-day performances: There were three England bowlers who each took two wickets today. We're not naming them, even though two are among our very favourite players.

The solution to England's one-day woes

2012-12-18T19:22:00.001+00:00

Maybe someone should burn something to symbolise the death of English one-day cricket and we could compete for the remnants.

Then in a hundred years time we might be inspired to get good again.

Shoaib Akhtar and Mohammad Asif fail drugs tests

2012-12-18T19:22:00.000+00:00

Off their mash on ecstacy pipes. That's the verdict. All whacked-up on goofballs.

There's nothing too specific being said at present. Both Shoaib Akhtar and Mohammad Asif have failed dope tests and are being sent home to Pakistan. It seems likely that if drugs were being used, it was to aid recovery from injury. The tests were carried out in September when both Shoaib and Asif were just returning to action.

Cricinfo have referred to comments made by former senior PCB medical staff which alluded to steroid use as part of Shoaib's recovery.

Some form of the full story will appear over the next few days. Currently the samples are being re-tested.

Stephen Fleming stands alone

2012-12-18T19:21:00.005+00:00

Not like a loser. Like a winner.

New Zealand beat South Africa, despite only making 195. South Africa did a Zimbabwe/West Indies/England and crumbled to 108 all out.

This Champions' Trophy's harking back to a low-scoring era of one-dayers that we thought was long gone. India tradionally produces high-scoring matches too. It's strangely refreshing.

New Zealand's win would have been impossible without the original captain's contribution from Stephen Fleming. He hit 89. Only his opposite number Graeme Smith, with 42 and Justin Kemp with 26 not out, even approached respectability with the bat - from either side. Kyle Mills took 3-18 and Jeetan Patel took 3-11, both for New Zealand.

Once again we've included a photo of Stephen Fleming with his flesh on display. He's not at all shy about brandishing those shoulders, the hussy.

Gavin Hamilton land

2012-12-18T19:21:00.002+00:00

Bad news, everybody. We're going away for a couple of days and will doubtless be missing some of the finest cricket ever witnessed on earth. (Martian cricket being a class above, of course.)

We're going to Scotland, home of great cricketers such as Gavin Hamilton and - well, we can't be bothered checking vaguely Scottish-sounding cricketers' places of birth, so we'll just leave it at Gav.

Gavin Hamilton was great in the 1999 World Cup. Again, we can't be bothered checking any facts because we're just about to leave, but take our word for it. Gavin Hamilton was great in the 1999 World Cup. He didn't have the yips then for one thing.

As far as the site goes, we're paying someone handsomely to check all the comments (the going rate is just a single pint) so feel free to write the exact same thing four times, like usual. We should probably do away with the thing where we authorise comments before they appear, but we do like to read them all. We might post over the next day or two, if they have [shameful, unnecessary joke about Scotland being backward removed here].

Your King Cricket homework is to browse the archives. Our posts don't date as badly as you think they do. They're in the sidebar on the left and also at the bottom of the page.

Anyway: To Gavin Hamilton Land!