King of Kongregate

The most addictive MMORPGs

2009-04-22T17:35:00.035-05:00

There are so many games to chose from if you're looking for a good Massively Multiplayer Online Role playing Game. These games make people drop out of school, murder their grandmas(true story) or literally play till they drop dead. Video game addiction is now recognized as a disorder across the globe, clinics have been built specifically for this. That all being said, I want to share with you some games that could make you neglect reality and possibly strangle your grandmother. They're ordered from least addictive, to most addictive. Years of gaming and I've only actually lost my mind once, really weird story where I hilusionate and try to open up walls, but first, let's get to it!

7. Ragnarok Online

[Client Based - Large Download - P2P]

First released in August, 2001, Ragnarok has grown substantially in over a dozen languages. The only reason I started playing this was because I had a handful of friends that already played it. I only played for a month at a friends house, at the time my Win 98 with 250mb of ram didn't cut it. I might have only played for a month but during that time, that's all I wanted to do and all I did. My pathetic friend that can't stay up past 2am actually pulled off his first all nighter playing Ragnarok, ya, it was that fun. I never made it quiet further than the level 1 ants in the beginning area, nevertheless it was a lot of fun.

Unfortunately, I don't have a lot to say about this game. Nothing really stood out at the time and I never came back to play it. If you're looking for a game to kill some time, I recommend trying it out. This game is p2p but there are many private servers out there with large communities that are just as good. If you're interested I recommend trying this one. Like I said, I can't see anyone playing this for longer than a couple of months at best, but with every game there are the exceptional people that love it and can't stop. I lost a few nights of sleep over it but nothing crazy. Ragnarok Online comes in at number 7 as the least addictive game on the list.

6. Hellgate: London

[Client Based - CD Install - Free]

Hellgate was hyped as the next Diablo and a very anticipated MMORPG. With its unique first person shooter style approach to this genre, it had promise to be an awesome(addictive) game. Right off the hop, this game looks very cool. From the art to the in-game graphics, its a very grungy styled, detailed, eye candy of a game. This game is free to play but also has the pay to play option for additions such as more weapons and items.

Every time I buy a new game that I've been itching to play, I run to the nearest EB Games with a idiotic grin spread across my face, prepared to sell my soul and hibernate in my basement. Never the less, there is a reason why this game pulls in at number 6. Hellgate was a flop and got very repetitive very quickly, all glamour no substance. For me, I lost interest because everywhere you explored looked exactly the same. The game maps were randomly generated, and they all used the same textures, meaning, the only difference from the first area of the game from the last, was instead of turning left, you turned right. The monsters were always the same to as far as I'm concerned, so that got pretty boring to. This game was also thought to be the next Diablo, and it failed miserably. I played this game for a month straight and lost many nights of sleep over it. On the positive side, this game is free to play, with the option of upgrading, and it looks phenomenal. On the negative, it gets repetitive very quickly, there's not a whole lot to it and you'll lose interest. The game is $19.99, dirt cheap and is worth checking out. They've released many patches since I've played and I plan on trying it out again sometime soon. Hopefully what I thought were major flaws are fixed and everything else that people whined about. Not a life zapper, addictive and fun for a bit, worth trying out.

(Like I said, looks ****ing awesome)

5. Guild Wars

[Client Based - CD Install - Free]

Said to be the best free MMORPG out there. Released back in February, 2005, Guild Wars was a pretty anticipated game and lived up to the hype. Now with 3 expansions, 10 professions to choose from, and with the anticipated release of Guild Wars 2, it probably is the best free MMORPG out there, but is it addictive?

I'm almost ashamed to say I've only purchased the original Guild Wars and none of the expansions. I never agreed with a level cap of 20, fortunately this will be raised with the release of GW2. Other than that, there isn't a lot for me to pick on. The graphics look decent, the map is huge leaving tons of areas to explore, there are many quests to complete, and the talent tree is pretty cool. I played this game for 3 months and came back to it months later for a bit. I've trained 2 characters to level 20 but never felt motivated enough to do anything more than that.

Guild Wars really revolves around it's PVP. There are many official tournaments with cash prizes, different character builds just for PVP and so forth. I prefer PVE and found it difficult to complete areas even when my level was maxed out, almost impossible to advance by yourself. It is possible I just sucked, but I'm not video game illiterate and I catch on pretty quickly. I never lost any sleep over this game, I played for 3 months regularly but nothing substantial. If you're looking for an RPG fix, I recommend picking this up for $19.99.

4. Maple Story

[Client Based - Large Download - Free]

I know what you're thinking, how does this 2d critter filled anime game come before games like Guild Wars and Hellgate: London? 3 years ago I started playing this game right before spring break, I got so addicted I was up till 8am every morning smacking 2d snails with a wooden stick. It has to be one of the most exp grinding games I have ever played, and it had me by the balls. I only played for a couple of months, the first 2 weeks I was on for a minimum of 8 hours, my play time slowly descended from there. There are four classes to chose from, there are many quests and a lot of monsters. Players can form guilds and actually get married in-game.

One thing that was really cool are the bosses that you can only kill with 5+ other people. Some so big they barely fit on the screen. The highest level character I've made was 37, it takes such a long time to level, it took me months to get to 37, the level cap in this game is 200 by the way. I've heard stories of people dropping out of college to play Maple Story, very crazy, but, I can easily see people doing that. Not everyone likes the cartoon style graphics, or the 2d scrolling game approach, but it's fun, and addicting.

3. World of Warcraft

[Client Based - CD Install - P2P]

Everyone knows what World of Warcraft is so I'm going to keep this brief. It's the largest and best MMORPG ever made. Over 10 million users play WOW worldwide. This game has so much content people substitute reality for this virtual fantasy world. I've just started playing this game a little over a month ago, I haven't had a WOW binge of consecutive playing, but it's got a pretty firm grasp on me. I play an average of 3-4 hours a day, to me that's nothing and perfectly fine. I did play 14 hours a day for the first few days, but, I'm pretty sure that'll be the peak of my WOW playing. It's insane when you hear those stories of guys(I've yet to hear of a girl addict) play 16 hour days for months and months. Most of you know about that 16 year old teen on the news who dropped out of school to play 16 hours a day.

World of Warcraft is fun, but I could never become a complete addict like this guy or the thousands of others out there. It's the best of it's genre but I couldn't call it the most addictive.

2. Diablo II

[Client Based - CD Install - Free]

Diablo II was/is a life eater. Non stop hack and slash action with a very cool goth style and a huge community, not to mention the awesome cinematics. When I used to play this years ago, I'd wake up before school to play it, I'd play it right when I got home till I went to bed at 1am-2am. This must have gone on for 3-4 months before I starting using the "Hero Editor" hack and burnt my self out. Everyone should have played this game, if not, HERE. I've come back to this classic a few times for a couple months at a time, it's not the same as when I first played it but it's always a treat.

Diablo III has recently been announced and to say the least I'm a little worried haha. I might as well supply my fridge with a few months worth of food and say goodbye to the world. I got pretty into this game but nothing over the top, you won't find me on the 10 o'clock news any time soon.

I've just gone over some very well known games that I've had a temporary addiction with. Not everyones going to agree with my game choices or what order they're in but that's the way it is. This last one has had an unrealistic effect on me in the past and is unquestionably the most addictive game ever made.

1. RuneScape

[Browser Based - Free]

If I was Merriam-Webster, I'd change the definition of "addiction" to "RuneScape". Bad joke, but you get my point. I must have been 11 when I started this and contintued for a solid three years. For the first few months my Win98 super PC couldn't quiet handle this masterpiece, making me insane and forced me to practically move in with my friend. Since we only had one computer, we would sleep in shifts, each having an hour of play time. The one time I really remember was when we became zombies.

During that summer, we played RuneScape for 3 days straight, when we weren't on we were getting our hour or two of rest while the other person played. On the last day we walked outside after very little sleep during the past 72 hours, the sun made me dizzy and nautious, a very bizzar feeling. I rode my 12 speed bicycle home and that's when I lost my mind. I only remember bits and pieces but apparently I tried opening the wall of my laundry room, when I was asked if I knew where. I'm guessing I was just reacting to sleep deprivation, maybe I'm actually mentaly challenged and I'm the only person that doesn't know; never happened again.

I played for 3 years ecumilating gross time spent online, I have no choice but to say RuneScape is the most addicting MMORPG out there. I was pretty young and didn't know any better, if I could do it all over again I would.

Video game addiciton is pretty serious, usually the parents are to blame for it escalating to such a dumb stage. That mom of the teenage WOW player in the video earlier, why doesn't she just cut off the internet if its ruining their family and his life? If you're older and spending gross amounts of time in a virtual world makes you happiest, then do it. Being happy is all that really matters.

Bible Fight

2009-03-07T13:13:00.006-06:00

Bible Fight

To activate God, go to the practice character selection screen and type "JEHOVAH".

A great looking flash fighter game but pretty easy. If you're just looking for the Kongai card choose Satan as your character in "tournament" mode and use nothing but his Cerberus Charge combo.

Bunny Invasion 2 Trophies

2009-03-05T18:03:00.005-06:00

Bunny Invasion 2

1) Reach level 10.
2) Reach level 20.
3) Reach level 30.
4) Reach level 40.
5) Reach level 50.
6) Reach level 60.
7) Kill 100 bunnies.
8) Kill 400 bunnies.
9) Kill 800 bunnies.
10) Kill 1,300 bunnies.
11) Kill 2,000 bunnies.
12) Kill 4,000 bunnies.
13) Use 500 bullets/shells.
14) Use 1000 bullets/shells.
15) Use 2000 bullets/shells.
16) Use 4000 bullets/shells.
17) Use 8000 bullets/shells.
18) Use 10 grenades.
19) Use 30 grenades.
20) Use 70 grenades.
21) Use 130 grenades.
22) Use 200 grenades.
23) Play the game for 10 minutes.
24) Play the game for 30 minutes.
25) Play the game for 1 hour.
26) Play the game for 1 hour 40 minutes.
27) Play the game for 2 hours 30 minutes.
28) Save the game 2 times.
29) Save the game 5 times.
30) Save the game 15 times.
31) Spend £ 20,000.
32) Spend £ 75,000.
33) Spend £ 150,000.
34) Spend £ 300,000.
35) Spend £ 500,000.
36) Spill 2,000 liters of bunny blood.
37) Spill 5,000 liters of bunny blood.
38) Spill 10,000 liters of bunny blood.
39) Go into RAGE 2 times.
40) Go into RAGE 5 times.
41) Go into RAGE 10 times.
42) Purchase the Desert Eagle.
43) Purchase the Tec-9.
44) Purchase the SMG.
45) Purchase the Shotgun.
46) Purchase the 12-Guage.
47) Purchase the AK-47.
48) Purchase the M4.
49) Purchase the Sniper Rifle.
50) Purchase the Grenade Launcher.
51) Purchase the Minigun.
52) Fully upgrade Fortify Pub.
53) Fully upgrade Builders.
54) Fully upgrade Scavengers.
55) Fully upgrade RAGE.
56) Fully upgrade Assistant.
57) Fully upgrade Myxomatosis.
58) Fully upgrade AIDS.

Lethal Play

2008-10-25T00:51:00.000-05:00

www.lethalplay.com is a flash community with over 2100 flash games. There's still a lot of work that needs to be done but you can take a look here www.lethalplay.com. I'm currently tweeking the level system and working on the forums, I'm going to need a few moderators ontop of who I already have. If you're interested email admin@lethalhost.com

Age of War

2008-08-06T16:32:00.000-05:00

Age of War is all about kicking some ass and destroying your opponents base. You can chose between 3 different units to build in order to kill those PC pussies. There are a few flaws and some well how the hells. It's a decent short game and once you know what to do you'll be flying through it and gaining those badges. For the time being there's also a challenge for the Amaya, the Exiled Student card.

Naturally I chose the "Normal" mode, none of the badges require any other difficulty so why not. There isn't even a high scores! So, let's get this over with.

Tip: Space bar pauses

Hear that music? That's all you'll be hearing, it just loops over, and over, and over again. The sound effects are really all the same other than the turrets you can buy. Off to a bad start but it's really not to bad. I'll tell you how I and mostly everyone else beat this game. Focus on turrets! Unless you HAVE NO CHOICE but to buy units then get a few until the enemy backs away. But there a waste of money and they're nothing to fuck around with.

Evolution 1: The Stone Age

The first level here is easier than you think. Wait until the enemy starts sending out cavemen, when the first one gets close enough to your base, use your special located around the top right corner.

By doing this you should gain over $200, now buy the "Egg automatic" turret

Now that you've got this in place, these stone aged bastards aren't getting anywhere. When they start sending out the dinosaurs, use your special or if it's not recharged yet, send out a dinosaur yourself. When you can, for $1,000 add a turret slot. Just remember, if they're getting to close and a lot(2 or 1 with a lot of health) are hitting you, just send out a guy or two. Use your common sense, if a dinosaur with full health is coming at you, your eggs probably won't kill him before he reaches your base. I have no idea what kind of chicken laid these eggs but they're pretty deadly. Evolve as soon as you hit 4,000xp.

Evolotion II: Medieval Ages

For some reason the enemy tends to evolve before you, even though you haven't been sending out guys to get killed, he somehow reaches 4,000xp before you. That leads to my how the hell, if you can only gain gold from killing enemies, and you aren't sending out anyone, where the hell is he getting all of his gold from? At this point you realize they've caught the Lucky Charms Leprechaun, but whatever ,your still going to run them into the ground.

Once you've evolved, you can now place a "Fire catapult" in you're second turret slot. For now, don't sell the Egg automatic, it's not like you'd get anything for it; piece of shit eggs. In this level your special is a wave of flaming arrows shooting down out of the sky, so, same thing as last time, it's just an arrow now. Use it when you need to, I use one and the beginning and try to wait for the enemy to send out the ponies. If you know you're going to need it, send out a "Sword man". The dumbass PC puts out an oil turret, little does he know you're not falling for his shit.

Use the special when a pony is close enough, use the same red circle area. When you can, evolve once more; 14,000xp.

Evolution III: Renaissance

Again the fuckers evolved before me, I sent out a few Swordsmen and that took care of them. Note down that your special now sucks ass and is used for healing, since you'll be focusing on your turrets, this really won't do anything for you. At the start I would make a couple "Duelers" to fend off the enemy, when you have time sell your Fire catapult and replace it with an "Explosives cannon". At this point you should have two turrets: Egg automatic and Explosives cannon. When they get to close, build a Dueler.

- Once you've raised another 6,000g or 5,900g, sell your Egg automatic and build another Explosives cannon in its place
- Add another turret spot for $3,000 when you can
- At 45,000xp evolve

Evolution IV: Present

You have tanks you have airplanes, but most importantly you have the "Double turret" turret, once you've built two of these nothing will touch your base from there on out. For now, you can leave your two cannons to do there shit, they'll hold up pretty good, and when you need to(to many units attacking you, tanks), use your special. Your cannons sell for 3,000g so keep that in mind when you're waiting to upgrade to the Double turret for 14,000g.

At this point of the guide, I'm so sick of the background music for Age of War I had no choice but to mute my speakers and turn on some music. The developer could have been a little creative and changed the background to, but no I guess man has only fought in a bush.

I now have two Double turrets and nothing's even getting close, this is the point where the game really gets to easy and all you do is wait for 200,000xp(I'm currently 150,000xp). Alright they just started sending out tanks, by that time I used my first special and evolved.

Evolution V: Future

The special here kicks ass, you have I guess a satellite that beams down a fucking lazer that burns everything in it's path, YOU ARE INDESTRUCTIBLE! Wait until you've accumulated 100,000g then buy yourself an "IonRay" turret. You can also sell your existing Double turrets for 7,000g but it's not going to get you there that much faster. Hey, in the future there are still trees! So basically you've beaten the game. Save up another 100,000g and buy another IonRay. These things kick some ass, since there rate of fire is so high, when it kills it's enemy it will continue to hit the enemy behind it. From here on out, max out your upgrade spots and fill them up with IonRays.

From here on you, leave the game playing, go grab a bite to eat, come back and you should have around 400,000g or more. Buy as many "Super Soldiers" as you can. These units don't fuck around, you build 3 of them, you will win. They will blast and slice there way through everything and kill your enemy. If you haven't gotten the Field of Strife Badge (train 100 units), build as many more as you need then send out 3 Super Soldiers of Justice.

So, you've just gotten all the badges and the card. For shits and giggles you could try the other difficulty modes, but uh, not for me.

Challenge:

To earn this you must reach the final level, piece of cake.

Achievements:

Field of Strife Badge (easy – 5 points)
Train 100 units and lay waste to 100 enemies in Age of War

Age of Victory Badge (medium – 15 points)
Defeat your opponent in Age of War

The music and background is VERY repetitive. I liked the selection of turrets and units, even though I only used a handful of them throughout the entire game. Greg definitely got a little lazy here and there should have been a some variety with the badges, maybe a badge that includes a different difficulty. Overall I had fun playing it the first time around, maybe a year ago one some other site. Age of War earns 3 Santa hats out of 5.

06/08/08 Update

2008-08-06T16:16:00.000-05:00

Alright! I've been insanely busy with work, but today's my first day off and I'll be adding a couple guides and reviews: Age of War and Amorphous+. I haven't had to the time to play through Protector: Reclaiming the Throne, after completing the last one I know how long it can take.

Typing Ninja Hunter

2008-07-28T22:03:00.001-05:00

This game is bad. It makes me feel like I'm playing through a coarse of Type to Learn.

The goal is to go through the levels by typing words that appear over the attacking ninjas heads. What I wanted to do was tell those words to fuck right off, jump down off the building and start cutting of their heads. Instead, I was forced to type 3-6 letter words as super fast as I could. YYES!

I guess I can see the challenge if you really couldn't type, at all. But, I can almost grantee you, you won't find to many of those people hanging around online gaming sites. I'm pretty surprised Greg decided to make a badge for this game actually, and even more that there's a card for it. That's what we get for whining about Monsters' Den!

Looking at the positive side; the opposite of this boring shitty game, I liked when the ninjas threw stars and you had to type a single letter to get rid of them. They were quick, if I had a lot of shit on the screen and one of these were let loose, I'd smashing every key on my keyboard hoping I'd HUYA that fucker down. This did add some excitement to the game, so +1 Ninja Hunter.

Ninja Hunter is another one of those, play for the badges/cards and never come back. The idea was good, the graphics and sound is there, but typing games will never be that fun. This game is the kind of fun you'd get while sitting in your basement typing with the monitor off as fast as you can. Then, after 10 minutes someone throws you a cookie with a sticker, HELL YA!

If you're on Kongregate to have some fun, stay the fuck away from Ninja Hunter. On the other hand if you want to be the king of Kongregate, get ready for 15 seconds of fun and one step closer to developping carpels tunnel syndrome. 1 santa hat out of 5.

The Last Stand 2

2008-07-28T21:52:00.000-05:00

5 Levels of fucking blowing off heads, ripping off legs and planting land mines; you've got yourself The Last Stand 2. Now, this is the kind of flash game I want to play. None of this typing words to win or moving your mouse over Doeos bullshit. THIS is actually fun and THIS is what I'll be reviewing.

You have 40 day's to kick some ass and make it to Union city. In the mean time, you'll be going from town to town gathering supplies and finding weapons/items. The challange comes with the types of zombies. Some zombies are dressed with bullet proof vests and a helmet, some are fat as shit, and others run across the screen at you. Oh ya, there are also zombie dogs. With all of this charging at you, there's no time to fuck around.
Along the way, you'll find survivors that can be equpied with weapons you've found. Careful, if a zombie has a weapon and gets to close, he'll take your survivor right the fuck out. One thing you'll notice while playing is that the accuracy can be pretty shitty. You might have the crosshair right on someones head, but you'll end up hitting someone else's leg way behind him, or not hitting him at all! When you're taking on some heat and this happens 2-3 times in a row, you're ready to tell TLS to fuck right off and insert your keyboard into the wall. Although this happens a lot, the games so fun you're going to keep on playing.

The visuals are great. There's blood everywhere, limbs all over the ground. C'mon, you shoot holes into their heads! The sound effects and music keep you're eyes glued to the screen. The zombies make some gnarling sounds while running at you, something like that sorta grabs your attention. The selection of weapons is good and the traps add some strategic gameplay.

You'll most likely breeze through the stages, up until Jonestown. This is the final stage and it packs some serious shit. You could save up on supplies to simply pass right through this town, but you're not a pussy, you've got some serious flash skill. Saving up traps really doesn't make a difference, you could use them all up the first level and watch the waves of zombies keep coming. The amount of shit that comes your way is, well, a lot of shit. If your survivors are dying and you're barely getting through to the next day, get the fuck out of there and get your Kongregate badge.

This is the kind of game you'd find yourself playing even if it didn't come with pixel rewards. Great game.

Challenge

What is it about zombies taking down helicopters? Kill 500 zombies between you and Union City to unlock the Blood Vial card.

500 zombies killed

Achievements

101 Damnations Badge (easy – 5 points)
Kill 101 damn dirty zombies in The Last Stand 2

Party of Five Badge (medium – 15 points)
Band together with 4 other survivors in The Last Stand 2

Dawn of the Alive Badge (medium – 15 points)
Make your way to Union City in The Last Stand 2

PLAY IT

Hedgehog Launch

2008-07-28T21:42:00.000-05:00

Unlike other badges on Kongregate, you'll be getting these few with luck. Yes, luck. Theres really very little skill that can go into reaching space in 5 or less days. The only thing you can do is hope that you're going to run into yellow platforms when you sling your Hedge up.

Distributing your money can certainly make a difference. Are some shitty shades going to shoot you up 4 thousand feet into the air? No, probably not. I focused on 4 upgrades: your Band, Launcher, Rocket Pack, and eventually the E-Rocket. Hedge hogs, rocket packs, ELASTIC BANDS, FUCK YA! Since luck does play such a huge factor, I'm not going to tell you when you should upgrade and where you should zoom around. Instead, I made a video of me reaching space in 4 day's. More of a guideline then a guide.

You would think 4 day's would almost be enough to get me into the all time highscores. Well not exactly, the highscores on Kongregate are a piece of ass, I'm pretty sure the top score is something like 0 days.

Ya, I was right.

Pygmy Pioneer Badge – 5 points
Enter space in 50 days or fewer

Hedgie Glider Badge – 15 points
Reach space in 10 days or fewer

Minovian Hero Badge – 30 points
Reach space in 5 days or fewer

I know you can't expect to much with a flash game, but I would at least expect a fucking restart button. Having to refresh my browser 30 times trying to get the Minovian Hero badge was really shitty. That, and my frustration didn't cope well. Between the browser refreshing and the hoping for the best, you'll just be in it for the points, and be glad when it's over. A mediocre score for a mediocre game, 3 out of 5.

Construction

2008-07-28T01:17:00.000-05:00

Right now I'm fixing up the banner, template, and adding a few reviews and guides I've written but never got around to posting. There seems to be a lot of activity with Kongregate (more badges a challanges a week). Hopefully this keeps up =). I need to update the old posts and post my Kongai guide.

Nano Wars

2008-07-27T22:47:00.000-05:00

After a few tries with Nano Wars I finally completed all 14 levels. If you've got a mouse and one good eye you should breeze through this game, up until level 12. This level will piss you off till you shit through your chair. Luckily I'm here to vent for you and walk you through it.

Walkthrough

The goal here is to wipe out those green shit nanos. Each bubble is a little cell, and generates units according to the color that are living in it. Bigger cells generate units faster. To take over a cell, click on your cell then click on your opponents'. You'll send over half the units that occupy the cell your attacking with. Basically, click your man and send him out to kick some ass. Easy enough, so let's get started!

I was going to type it all out, but I thought it would be better to just show you.

Rewards

If viruses and Napoleon have taught us anything, it's that the deadliest of threats can often be the tiniest.Complete level 9

Tiny Victory Badge (easy – 5 points)
Complete level 3 in Nano War

Microscopic Mayhem Badge (hard – 30 points)
Complete all 14 levels in Nano War

Tiger-Heli, Tiger-Hell of a piece of shit for a game

2008-07-16T04:47:00.000-05:00

Taking a first glance at the cartridge, it looks like a pretty kick ass game. There’s a helicopter shooting fucking lazer beams at a tank. C’mon! I was seizure with excitement walking home with this baby. Coming back to the game years later, I brought with me the determination to kick some ass and to put this game under my belt.

No lie, it wasn’t so bad. You had bombs, you had a main gun, there were tanks everywhere, you could blow up airplanes and what looked like helium tanks, FUCK YEAH, I WAS ROCKIN’ ! I can’t remember how many times I died trying to beat the game, it was definitely a challenge, but eventually got there. Instead of your classic beat the boss at the end getting a congratulatory message, I flew right back to the beginning of the game. No pause, no message, no boss, the game just starts right over, what the shit is this? Ready to snap my controller in half, I put on the emulator, infinite health and sped up the game in an effort to find the ending.

Ya, I never did find an ending to the game. I remember as a kid trying to beat this, it’s such a disappointment knowing it was for nothing. What’s the point in playing a game? To get the satisfaction of winning and beating it, well what the hell happened here? Overall, I liked the sound effects, I liked the game play and controls, definitely a good game for it’s time. Considering the fact you can never actually beat it, is a bunch of shit which backs up my rating of 3.5.

Don’t waste anymore than 10 minutes with this game, if any. Knowing what’s ahead is discouraging and will leave you feeling like you’ve wasted your fucking time. If you want some challenge with an actual purpose, pop in Abadox, Rescue Rangers or Legendary Wings. Not to forget about the popular games like Castlevania or MegaMan.

Stay the fuck away from Tiger-Heli!

Warlords: Call to Arms

2008-04-16T21:31:00.001-05:00

Warlords Undead Strategy:

Warlords is actually pretty easy to beat, but if anything can be a little time consuming. To beat all 25 maps I chose the Undead class:

The halberdiers are slow but very strong, I didn't see the need of range, although it's very effective while fighting against trolls. Breeze through the beginning battles. Here's how you'll want to spend your gold:

Buy halberdier - 500gp

Upgrade Halberd Training, Armour and speed.

Before the last 4 maps buy upgrade "Spear training" and buy the "Scout" unit.

The way I spend my money was once I could afford any of those I instantly bought. I never saved up for any upgrade.

Fight your way through battles and conquer the land until the difficulty percentage gets roughly high 60's and greater. Spend your gold accordingly to what I said above. To win the last few battles I bought a scout and upgraded speed. I sent out scouts through the empty lines where enemies weren't coming, filling each gap then repeated this in rotation. If they enemies occupied all of the gaps, then I would send out a few Halberdiers(2 for each enemy) in one or two lines and continue. While solely sending out scouts, don't worry about fighting the enemy units, just let them through. The speed of the scouts makes up for it, for every unit they send, you'll send 2 or more scouts. This works since ever unit takes off the same amount of "health" off the bar at the top of the screen. For example a Mounted Halberdier will take off just as much health as a scout.

For completing Warlords: Call to Arms you'll get the Demon Class!

Extreme Eminent Domain Challenge

The humans, elves, orcs and undead of the land simply don't understand how important the construction of the new modern art museum is! Seize 10 of their territories.

Field of Corpses Badge (easy – 5 points)

Score 100 kills during a single campaign in Warlords: Call to Arms

Medieval Unity Badge (medium – 15 points)

Conquer all 25 maps with any race in Warlords: Call to Arms

Grid16

2008-04-09T15:02:00.000-05:00

Grid 16 is a collection of 16 mini games that will get faster and faster the further you progress.

BADGES

Sweet Grid16 Badge (easy – 5 points): Reach a x3 multiplier in Grid16

Microgame Masochist Badge (hard – 30 points): Prove that you can play minigames long after they stop being enjoyable by getting a x5 multiplier in Grid16

The way I got a x5 multiplier in Grid 16 was by focusing on one or two games that you're good at or are easy. The first game for example is really easy, all you have to do is move left and right to find the open slot to move down. I made it to the x5 speed with only the first game and the game underneath it. This way, there wasn't a lot of jumping around from game to game and it wasn't hard to keep track of what was going on in the game.

Games

Grid 16 is fun for 10 minutes. Once you get the badges you'll never come back and play this again. 3/5

Thing-Thing 4

2008-04-04T21:31:00.001-05:00

The latest release to the Thing-Thing saga. If you aren't familiar with the saga, the game is all about killing a certain amount of enemies to advance to the next level. You'll encounter a couple bosses, and that pretty much sums it up. After finally completing the challenge for the Healing Salve card, and earning all 3 badges, I'm ready to write a review.

Thing-Thing 4 will make your fingers tired and leave you throwing your keyboard across the room. This game packs a challenge and lot's of frustration. The downside is the amount of lag you'll get on certain levels, and sometimes the entire game itself won't even load up. I've had no problems loading the game, but lag was definitely an issue.

The controls are simple and easy to use, you'll be using the W,A,S and D letters to duck, move and jump with your guy.

Run: Hold in Shift while moving left or right (A or D)

Double-Jump: Press W twice

Switch Weapons: You can either use the Mouse Wheel or tap E

Aim and shoot with the Mouse

There are 3 types of enemies:

Standard Soldier

Upgraded Soldier

Elite-Soldier

Standard Soldiers only take a few hits while the Elites can take a punch. Headshots do 1.5x more damage.

To obtain the healing Salve card, you'll have to fight your way through 14 levels of gun shooting crazyness and fight a boss. No problem.

Here's a picture of the first boss on level 12. He's reletively easy, you should have no problems and beat him first try.

Complete level 14 – Shoot down the first boss, then start your trek through the forest.

Assuming you know how the keyboard and mouse works, you should fly through the levels with ease until you reach the level "Genetics lab 5". This level with kick your ass until you walk away in frustration. The only advice I can give to you is DOUBLE JUMP like no tomorrow. While you're somersaulting with amazingess through the air, you will dodge every enemy bullet that goes your way. This level takes a while to beat doing this, if anyone has a better strategy for this level please let me know. Once you've completed this stage you're a few levels away from the final boss and with your leet Thing-Thing skills, nothing can stop you, not even Rick Astley.

After completing the game, you'll now have the option to select a level and enable hard mode, because it definitely wasn't hard enough!

Hints:

To get drill badge, find a level where you can duck under a enemy portal and swing away with your pipe, if you get a weapon simply drop it and continue until you've accumilated 88 melee kills.

Enemies cannot hit you while you're doing a double jump.

If you're in some serious heat, RUN! Come back when you're good to go.

Taste of Blood Badge (easy – 5 points)

Kill 50 enemies, then complete your current level in Thing-Thing 4

Kill Drill Badge (medium – 15 points): This is not really a drill. Score 88 melee kills, then complete your current level in Thing-Thing 4

Live and Let Die Badge (hard – 30 points)

Fulfill your quest for revenge, completing all 28 levels in Thing-Thing 4

To be completely honest, I only played this game for the badges and the card, I wouldn't have given it the time of day if it hadn't been for those two. Saying that, I don't mean this game wasn't fun or anything, but the amount of time you had to put in to complete the game should be more than 30 points. 200 seconds of dodge ball earns you 60 and over an hour gets you half with Thing-Thing 4, hmm. After reading through the comments on Kongregate you'd get the impression this game sucks ass and not worth your time. Give it a try, it's really not that bad at all. Although I really did get tired of jump, shoot, jump, shoot, jump, shoot, etc.. Thing-Thing 4 adds another good game to the saga and I'll be sure to try out the next. 4 out of 5.

Gamma Bros

2008-04-03T14:18:00.001-05:00

Gamma Bros is such a fun game. GB is a retro space shooter. You play as these two pixel characters soaring through space shooting down enemy spaceships while avoiding asteroids. There are multiple weapon and spaceship upgrades. Enemies will also drop coins, destroying asteroids will reveal gems. After every level a shop will fly through tailing upgrades for your weapon, extra lives and health; buy with your coins. Near the end of the game, you'll use 20 of your collected gems to purchase a new spaceship, that is of coarse IF you've collected at least 20. Through the game, enemies will flank you coming onto the screen in lines or swarms at a time. Some enemies will shoot at you, others you'll have to avoid colliding with them.

The only aspect I found difficult were the controls. You use the arrows to move up, down, left and right. W, S, A, D. are the controls for your weapon. When being surrounded by a bunch of guys at once, I started smashing the keys trying to shoot with the arrows and move with the other keys, at least I'm not the angry German boy =P. The final boss was challenging. This floating black thing with eye's shoots, summons enemies, and zooms around the screen. At the same time, you're constantly being pulled towards him. This doesn't really have any major effect. I also think your weapon resets right before you face him. I could be wrong but mine did, I don't feel like beating it again just to find out.

Right before the boss is about to die, your buddy's going to hop in and take the kill(ksing noob). Once he's dead, the two of you will peacefully float back down to earth and reunite with their friends. You'll then see the list of cheats, your game-play stats, and have the option to download a couple Gamme Bros theme music.

Awesome you've just beaten Gamma Bros, have you ever felt such a sense of accomplishment!? Well maybe, but here's the new badge you've earned.

NOTE: To earn the badge you can ONLY use the level 2 cheat(GOLVL2).

The cheats are pretty self explanatory, I don't think a description is required.

Cheats:

GOLVL2

GOLVL3

SHIP2

SHIP3

SUPER

Gamma bros get's a 4 out of 5.

April Fools

2008-04-01T21:59:00.000-05:00

Along with April fools comes a new challenge.

The challenge for the Reinforced Breastplate card is painful, but by far the easiest card to collect.
You'll have to sit through the ENTIRE "Never Gonna Give You Up" music video by Rick Astley. Sorry but no, the Kongai card game isn't released yet.

Here's a quick guide to get you through the song:
1. Mute volume
2. Walk away

Click here to complete challenge.

Contact

2008-03-31T01:13:00.000-05:00

Marathon Massacre Challenge

2008-03-28T11:06:00.000-05:00

A new challange is out for another card! To get this badge you`ll have to kill 200 of those fast red zombies in Boxhead: The Zombie Wars. I think this game kicks ass. To get the badge quickly, try any defense level on expert mode. It should take you less than 5 minutes.

As it stands, BoxHead: The Zombie Wars is leading the highest rated game in March contest, and has unsurprisingly won the weekly contest. I easily gave this game a 5 out of 5.

ButtonHunt 2

2008-03-27T16:36:00.000-05:00

Here's a quick video I made beating ButtonHunt 2

What's your best time?

Excit

2008-03-27T16:35:00.000-05:00

Here's a video guide for Excit. This guide was not made by me, all credit goes to Shischkabob.

Part 1

Part 2

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Favorite games on Kongregate?

2008-03-27T16:34:00.000-05:00

Rumiko, the Ninja

2008-03-27T16:33:00.000-05:00

I've been pretty busy with school and programming, sorry about the lack of posts. But let's get to it!

A new card challenge has just been released for the game Fancy Pants Adventures by DrNeroCF.

In order to get the card you must collect 5 trophies.

Trophy Room Challenge: Find all 5 trophies in Fancy Pants to unlock the Rumiko replay card, along with 2 trophies of her own!

Erik Trophy found
Kid Trophy found
Kit Trophy found
Rocky Trophy found
Stande Trophy found

These are pretty easy to get, make sure you explore the levels, which aren't very big at all, and go through all the doors. The Kit Trophy is a bit tricky though. To get you'll have to drop through the ground in level 4 to get to an invisible door.

More Bloons

2008-03-27T16:32:00.000-05:00

50 levels in less than 60 seconds!

More Bloons is another one of those games that's extremely fast and easy to beat; with cheating. Follow the following steps to beat all 50 levels with over 100% completion in less than 60 seconds.

Start a new More Bloons game, select the first level and open cheat engine
We'll be using the x8 method. Enter the amount of balloons popped into search engine with all the settings set at default (Scan type = Exact Value, Value Type = 4 Bytes)

3. Shoot a dart at the balloons and enter in the new "POPPED" number multiplied by 8. So if you have 10 balloons popped you'd enter 80 into search engine.

4. Repeat step 3 until you've narrowed your search down to 1 result. Double click the address to add to your list below.

5. Change the value to 1600 (200*8)

6. Freeze value and return to game

7. Now all you have to do is sit in-game and click on "Next Level" when it appears. Basically free 20 points.

I don't think the "Target" get's any greater than 200. If it does, simply change the value higher.

All Levels complete and available

MoreBloons gets a 4 out of 5. I flat out didn't like playing this game. But Nice level layouts and challenge. With 50 levels to beat, this should keep you busy for a while; if it weren't for me.

Stormwinds 1.5

2008-03-27T16:31:00.000-05:00

"Hold the Line!" Badge (easy – 5 points): Destroy 25 enemies in StormWinds 1.5

When Kongregate Attacks Badge (medium – 15 points): Destroy the evil forces of Kongregate before it's too late in StormWinds 1.5

Churchton Windchill Badge (hard – 30 points): Complete 5 campaigns in StormWinds 1.5

Stormwinds 1.5 receives 4 our of 5 stars. Multiple campaigns and upgrades was awesome. The sound and overall game-play was great, I hated the beginning tutorial captions though; OMG.

To obtain unlimited upgrade points, follow the following guide. Or, scroll further down to watch the guide video.

Start a game of Stormwind, beat a level or two with your chosen weapon to gain levels and stack up some upgrade points.
For this were going to use the x8 method. Go to your weapons upgrade page, take your current upgrade points and multiply that by 8. Enter that number into Cheat Engine and set Scan type to Exact Value and value type to 4 Bytes. First Scan
Go back to the game and spend 1 or 2 of your upgrade points
Return to Cheat Engine and multiply you're new amount of upgrade points by 8. Enter that number into value and click Next Scan.
Repeat steps 3-4 until you have narrowed into only 1 address
Now that you've found the points address, double click on it to add it to your CT list
Change the value to 640 (80*8) and click on the frozen box to freeze the value
Go back to Stormwind and spend a point, watch your points shoot up to 80. You now have unlimited Upgrade points.

For you visual learners, this video is a replica of the guide above.