Kingsley Tang & The Purple Reaction

Year 2: Week 19 – What Diversity Means In Education-Part II

2012-01-27T17:37:00.000-06:00

Last spring I made a post of diversity in education. I didn’t really draw any conclusions in this post. I reflected on my own life and told a story about talking about my background enrich my students’ lives.

This week as I sat on a sub-committee at my school focused on the issue of diversity, I realized that I actually did have a strong idea of what diversity in education meant in education contrary to my conclusion in my earlier post on the subject.

“Diversity” is a huge buzz word not only in educations but in many corners of our world. The idea is that somehow, whatever business or group is more diverse is better. Why? A more diverse group of people brings more perspectives and abilities and is therefore more relevant. There’s almost a “political correctness” to the idea of being more diverse to the point that anyone who asserts the opposite is offensive.

As someone who brings diversity as an Asian American into most of the situations in my life, I like diversity. Because I am diversity. However I understand reservations about putting such a focus on being diverse especially if it’s at the cost of other things. Should a university be more diverse if it means the academic standards drop? No, I’m not talking about simply minorities here, I’m talking about all of the differences in our culture: gender, sexual-orientation, location in the country, socio-economic level, religion to name a few.

Not everything is better by being made more diverse. How strong can a Catholic Church community be if people of many religions come to the services with no intention of converting? There’s a place for a level of homogeny, but I think American education isn’t one of those places.

One of the things that I point out whenever someone asks me what I think about the fact that some countries like Japan and in Northern Europe have much higher test scores then American students is that their student population is much less diverse. If our goal as educators really was to teach math and reading, then we should segregate the schools by gender, languages they speak at home, learning styles, and of course ability. While you find schools that do separate their students by some or all of these ways, most schools don’t.

American education believes that it’s worth having lower test scores if students learn not only have to work with people who are different than them but embrace those differences as an asset.

Diversity isn’t just about specific differences in our country like race or gender. It’s not even about preparing our youth for a more global economy in the future. It’s about teaching students a paradigm that valuing diversity, differences in our world is what helps us understand each other. In recognizing the differences and accepting them, we see the similarities that we all share and in those connections we find the moments that make life worth living.

My Love Is Your Love by Whitney Houston

2012-01-25T19:39:00.001-06:00

This is how I like to remember Whitney Houston.

With brilliant production by Wyclef Jean and simple but beautiful lyrics, Whitney proved in 1998 after years of controversy that she still had it. She started in 1987 simply wanting to dance with somebody. . .

While this song is fun, that hair . . .wow.

Of course there's her unforgettable cover of Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You."

I guess I go back to "My Love Is Your Love" which is one of my favorite songs of all time because it feels so much more real. There's a warmth and relaxation in her voice and an honestly. It's hopeful, where as "I Will Always Love You," really is a break-up song. There's something so profound she captures in the second verse that gets to me every time I hear this song.

If I lose my fame and fortune,
And I'm homeless on the street.
And I'm sleeping in Grand Central Station,
It's okay if you're sleeping with me.

While you imagine the loneliness and despair of this situation, her voice is liarms warm embrace.

We Take Care Of Our Own by Bruce Springsteen

2012-01-23T21:03:00.004-06:00

Starting with a snarl of angry guitars and unforgiving drums, Springsteen starts "We Take Care Of Our Own" with an spite and frustration. When we feel this way, we have a choice: either dwell in the darkness of our feelings or work towards something better. What is Springsteen's answer to these emotions? In the shining guitar chords, singing violin and sparking bells that enter next, we hear hope.

The opening guitar riff doesn't disappear with the other instruments but remains as a reminder of the darkness that leads to hope. These layers, the chords, the melody and the colors are a sonic landscape that is uniquely Springsteen and uniquely American which fits these simple but profound lyrics of Springsteen's newest anthem.

"We Take Care Of Our Own" is Springsteen's first single from his upcoming album Wrecking Ball, which comes out in early March. On its surface this song appears to be an almost Toby Kieth-esque patriotic rock anthem. With a chorus "wherever this flag is flown, we take care of our own," there's an illusion that Springsteen is simply trying to milk patriotic emotions out of his audience. However like many of Springsteen's greatest songs, this song is so much more than it appears. "Born In The U.S.A." was about the burdens, not the pride of being born in America, "Dancing In The Dark" is an examination of the loss of ones identity, not a frivolous 1980s dance song, and "We Take Care Of Our Own," is not a simple patriotic anthem, but rather a critical examinations of the values that we hold dear and the promises of our country that for many are simply illusions.

The first verse is a journey, searching for something that is missing, something that has been lost. Good intentions now seem meaningless. The second verse explores the corners of America, some full of glory but others full of shame. He brings up the Superdome alluding the the catastrophe of the Hurricane Katrina and the horribly inadequate response to the disaster using the Superdome as an evacuation center. Then in the third verse Bruce starts asking questions. These are questions we've all asked ourselves more and more as our country has suffered through some of the it's most challenging times in the last four years.

These questions lead up to one final passionate call to us all, "where's the promise from sea to shining sea." The repetition of this line drives this questions home as one of the central lines in this song. More importantly it invites us all to sing along when he eventually performs this song live. Imagine 20 thousand people singing this line in unison. Think about all the frustration, the struggles, the loss our country has gone through in the past four year and imagine the being able to yell out this question as a united people.

We need this in America right now, but what we don't need is for these emotions to turn into anger, and Bruce immediately reminds us that regardless of what our government does, no matter how bad times get, we take care of our own. Or do we? But that is not the question that this song is really asking us. It's forces us to focus on the central questions the nature of our country, our community and our citizenship: what does it mean to take care of our own?

Who is our "own"? Are people who are on death row our "own"? How about unborn fetuses, illegal immigrants or the homeless guy I drive by every day on the way to work? Does taking care of someone means saving their soul, if you believe that living a certain lifestyle will get them to heaven even if they don't? Does taking care of someone mean giving a person food or does it mean making them feel the pangs of hunger to motivate them to work?

In one statement Bruce has summarized the entire current political discussion and brings it into focus. Yes there are songs that Springsteen has recorded that have a clear political bias and Bruce himself regularly campaigns for Democrats. However this song is truly apolitical because it doesn't make assertions about taking care of our own. It simply raises questions about what we value.

This isn't a liberal or conservative thing to do, this is an American thing to do as one of our greatest freedoms. It is the amazing feeling of being in a country that values reflection which is expressed in the shear joy of this song.

Bruce Springsteen doesn't state that he's proud to be an American, instead he reminds us why we should feel proud to be one.

Year 2: Week 18 - Why A Teacher Is Not A Friend

2012-01-20T19:36:00.000-06:00

"No, I'm not your friend."

Usually when I say this to one of my students, I'm joking around. But every once in a while I need to have a conversation with one of my students when they get too comfortable with me and I need to explain to them the nature of our relationship. A teacher is a lot of things, but a friend is not one of them. Every time this topic comes to mind I think about Katya.

Katya was one of my students when I was student teaching. She was a sophomore flute player and she quickly became comfortable confiding in me. Every day she would come to band, walk by the desk and give me an enthusiastic greeting and fill me in on the events of her day.

One of my jobs as a student teacher was to enforce the students’ marching band dress code. This was important to set and standard for the band and create a uniform look which helped during competitions. One of the requirements was that all of the students had to wear black socks.

At the end of one football game, I walked by Katya as the band was lining up and deciding to be cute she said "hey Mr. Tang, check out my socks." Looking down I noticed that she was wearing pinks socks.

"Katya, you know the deal, anything but black socks are going to be points off your grade." I told her.

"You're not going to report me, c'mon Tang" she said smiling back at me.

But I did report her to my supervising teacher, and Katya got called and had to deal the consequence of her actions. The next week Katya walked right by my desk instead of stopping to say hello. In class she was polite to me, did everything I asked but it ended right there. No more happy greetings, updates of her day and asking me for help with issues with her life,

That's how it was between Katya and I for the last half of my time student teaching at her school. I missed the relationship we had developed but I knew I did the right thing. Even though we had become friendly, my job was not to be her friend. Her "liking" me simply
wasn't as important as being fair. I told myself all of this but it didn't change how I missed seeing her smiling face greet me every morning.

On my last day student teaching, I sat in the office during lunch finishing up some work and I heard Katya's voice greeting me. She didn't greet me the way we did before I reported her but there was warmth to her voice beyond simply acknowledging my presence. She sat down, told me about her day and what had been going on her life. Then she told me that should would miss me and said goodbye.

Somehow in that moment I knew we had an understanding even though we never talked about what happened. Her goodbye was the way that Katya showed me that and with her simple words she helped me finally feel that I had done the right thing.

A teacher's relationship with a student is a difficult thing to define. It's relationship that has certain strict boundaries but others that we have to define for ourselves.

If we base our decisions as teachers on being a friend we are doing a disservice to our students and ourselves. This is something that students rarely comprehend and almost never thank us for, however every once in a while a student will let you that they understand.

The Beatles are tired and so am I. . .

2012-01-18T17:53:00.000-06:00

While most the Beatles' catalog are songs about love, they understood music's ability to express the spectrum of the human experience.

Including being tire:

And sleeping . . .

Now I'm not someone who whines about being tired or obsesses about sleep, but man, I could use a nap. Like all great music, the Beatles remind us that we aren't the only ones who sometimes feel tired. This doesn't make me feel any less tired, but hey at least I know someone out there understands.

All I Need by Matchbox Twenty

2012-01-16T21:47:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time, iTunes wasn’t a store. It was simply an application used to play CD’s. It wasn’t until a couple months into using it that anyone I knew started using this program to import songs onto their computers (We’re talking about the early 2000s here). iTunes was far better at not only organizing music but also burning music CDs.

Before iTunes you had to import the songs, arrange a playlist, create an image and then burn that image onto a CD. Most of the time this two-hour process would mess up and you’d have to restart. iTunes slimmed this process down and it opened up the world of making mix CDs. All you had to do was drop some songs in a playlist you had previously uploaded and press burn and in about 45 minutes you would have a personalized audio CD.

I really loved making these mixes for people. I tried to create something that expressed the way I felt about them and also gave a joyful to experience. Most of the time I started the mix with faster music and ended with slower and more introspective tunes. I didn’t really try to send subliminal messages through these mix CDs. Most of the time if there was something that I wanted to say through a song, it was pretty explicit like with “Bobby Jean” by Bruce Springsteen, which I discussed in this post.

When I set out to make the first mix CD I ever made for Diana, I spent a lot of time figuring out which songs to include. One of the first songs that came to mind was “All I Need” by Matchbox Twenty.

This song is probably the most joyful song that this band ever recorded. Released in 2002 from their third album, Matchbox Twenty leaves behind the brooding darkness of many of their hits embracing a hopeful joy. There’s an 1960s feeling in this song even featuring a quote from The Buckingham’s hit “kind of a drag” in the bridge.

Within this shiny soundscape the lyrics talk about difficult times and people with “a sinking feeling” and being “down on themselves.” Thomas’ reaction to this in the chorus is that all he needs is someone to lean on. It’s such a simple sentiment but at that time it was exactly how I felt about Diana. All I felt like I needed was someone to lean on and in some ways that has never changed.

Putting “All I Need” on that mix CD forever connected this song with that time in my life and the feelings I had for Diana. When I talk to my students about music, this idea that you can create a group of songs for about how you feel is lost on them. We don't have any more as people share songs more than playlists.

Music isn't just about how we feel about ourselves, but also how we feel about each other. Mix CDs communicated my feelings to other people and while I haven't made a mix CD in a while, whenever I hear "All I Need" that reminds me of the joy creating one. As dorky as they may seem, mix CDs were awesome and I wish we could embrace this unique gift of music once again.

Year 2: Week 17- From The Back Of The Bus

2012-01-13T20:01:00.000-06:00

“What does the word segregation mean to you?”

When I posed this question to my third graders what was fascinating wasn’t so much the content of what they said but how they said it. They all knew about the Rosa Parks and the fact that the buses were segregated. However they had a really hard time describing the groups that were segregated from each other.

I heard students stumble over the words, “Aftrican-American,” “black” and “minorities.” Also they had issues dealing with the words “white” and “Caucasian.” One student was so confused about the terms he asked me “It’s Cauc-Asian, right? So does that include Asians?”

Instead of immediately correcting my students I let them try to work out the language and take cues from each other. What I found and was very proud of was the fact that they all knew that they needed to be careful with the words. They just didn’t know which to use.

Before I settled this issue for my students I introduced them to the term “colored people.” I explained that myself as an Asian American would also be subject to Jim Crow laws because I was a “colored person.” Some of my third graders didn’t quite believe me but as I discussed how other minorities were affected by this type of discrimination it started to make sense to them.

The reason I began this class with discussing segregation is because as part of our Martin Luther King Jr. Day assembly next week we are singing “If You Meet Me At The Back Of The Bus.”

Charles Neblett took the tune of “O Mary Don’t You Weep” and added lyrics about positive develop in desegregation from universities to swimming pools.

As I described the different verses and the stories behind them, there was a level of disbelief from my students. I told them that this stuff is hard to understand and hard to imagine for me as well. At the same time we have to try so we can understand how much we’ve grown as a country since these times and be grateful that we get to share

After learning the song, I came back to the difficulty they were having with terms for groups of people. I told them how “white” used to not include groups of people that we call “white” now. While I explained this, it made me realize how these labels don’t really describe anyone accurately and are often used to disenfranchise people.

I didn't give them a clear answer of that any particular term was right or wrong because none of the term really feel right. There's better and worse and some are offensive that's not what we are really talking about here. My third graders have not developed a sense of a person directed connected with labels because they haven't really learned to do that yet. Maybe that's not such a bad thing.

If you ever wonder why we have a day set aside for Martin Luther King Jr., think about the fact that by simply talking about the struggles he was a part of it teaches us something about ourselves and each other.

Behold The Hurricane by The Horrible Crows

2012-01-11T19:30:00.001-06:00

Brian Fallon of the founding members of one of my favorite bands The Gaslight Anthem started a side-project last year forming the band The Horrible Crows.

Fallon and Ian Perkins released the album Elsie which has echos of the The Gaslight Anthem. Like his work with The Gaslight Anthem, Fallon's work is a combination fo punk and Springsteen-like storytelling, which is clearly evident in the lead sing "Behold The Hurricane."

While the story of this song is sad, there is a triumphant glory in the music that allows you to comprehend the darkness of the lyrics with a unique perspective. This song isn't suppose to depress, instead it makes you consider yourself and the choices in your life. Fallon, triumphs again pushing rock music into places that few musicians date to approach.

Where The Streets Have No Name by U2

2012-01-09T18:11:00.000-06:00

As the organ rises like the sun breaking through the darkness of night, the world awakens. In the guitar there is the rivers flowing through the land, birds flying through the sky and people facing the daylight. The guitar grows in energy and as the pulsing bass enters, the heartbeat of our humanity begins and the guitar vigorously throws off our fears and insecurities with a new found energy.

Everything you need to know about U2 can be understood in the first 45 seconds of “Where The Streets Have No Name.” Actually everything you need to know about Rock music can be heard in this introduction. Bono described Rock music as being about one thing: liberation. In this song, U2 encapsulates the desire, the hope and the complexities of what liberation really means.

One thing that many great albums share is incredible opening songs. Springsteen’s Born To Run, opened with the unforgettable piano chords of “Thunder Road,” The Rolling Stone’s Exile On Main Street, exploded with the snarl of Keith Richard’s guitar on “Rocks Off,” and U2's Joshua Tree begins with “Where The Streets Have No Name.”

Bono was inspired when he heard about how in Belfast, Northern Ireland, a person’s religion and income could be determined simply by the street they lived on. Like John Lennon’s “Imagine,” Bono wrote a song to question the assumptions we base our world on and like Lennon, brings these desires to a deeply personal place.

The first verse speaks of desire. There’s the want to “tear down walls,” to liberate, and the desire to feel, “touch the flame.” It continues wanting shelter, “poison rain,” the divisions in our lives to the place where they do not exist. The chorus is a call to stop “burning down love,” to stop tearing down the things that we work so hard to build. All this desire and passion ends with the thought “I go there with you. It’s all I can do.”

In that one line, Bono foreshadows “With or Without You” later in the album speaking that moving through life with someone else that you love is not a choice. It’s something that we simply have to do. It’s all we can do to be alive, maintain hope and keep moving through the world.

The second verse and chorus speaks of destruction and even though “love turns to rust” and he is “blown by the wind” they got together to the place where we aren’t judged by the world and the labels we put upon each but rather by love. Yes, love is getting old and rusty, but it perseveres.

Musically we take U2 for granted. Most of us can’t imagine a musical world without Bono’s soaring vocals and Edge’s symphony of sound he creates with his guitar and the simple fact that along with the rest of U2 they are one of the greatest and most original bands ever.

If you try to listen to “Where The Streets Have No Name” with fresh ears you find that everything about this song is astounding. If this song came out today it would blow people’s minds the way it did twenty-five years ago.

Rock 'n' Roll may not be able to save the world but U2 makes you believe it can. Somewhere in their we find the part of ourselves that believes that through all the darkness we can save the world as long as we have hope in our hearts and loved ones by our sides.

If you still need a little help to understand what I mean check out this trailer and you'll know exactly what this songs really is about.

Year 2: Week 16-Laughing "at" Kids

2012-01-06T17:46:00.000-06:00

When I looked down at one of my 3rd graders papers and saw the word “peanow.” I was really confused what musical instrument she was trying to spell and then I sounded it out and preceded to laugh out loud. She was trying to spell “piano.” Wow.

This was after class and the student had left the room closing the door behind her so my response wasn’t in front of anyone, but I did get a good laugh out of this. One of my fellow teachers enjoyed this when I showed him after school and he laughed as well. And then when I posted this on my facebook profile seven people “liked” it and four people made comments.

Am I a bad teacher because I laugh about things that my students do or say? Well, I don’t think so. It means I'm human, and laughing about students is a fact of life teachers. But there's some things you have to keep in mind like, first off, I never laugh at something a student does unless I’m 100% sure he or she is trying to be funny and even at those times, I often hold it in.

As a teacher one of the most important skills you learn is how to laugh on the inside. What I mean by this is the ability to keep a straight face and show no reaction when a student does something like raise he left hand when you ask them to raise their right hand, which would be fine if this student wasn’t in 8th grade!

It’s usually not very hard for me to do this because when you look at someone who says or does something that is inadvertently humorous, they usually aren’t smiling so you just take your cue from them.

Then the student leaves the room and you let it out. Sometimes at the end of the day, I sit in my office, go through the funny things kids did or say and laugh for five minutes straight. More often then not I find another teacher, share these stories and have a good time reflecting on the silly things our kids do.

Is this mean? Well, I think it could easily become mean. It’s one thing to laugh in private about students asking an obvious question and another thing to talk about how “dumb” they are. Almost all the time when I tell people stories about kids, which are funny, somewhere in there I express how much I like the kid.

I say this, because it’s true. I like my students and I like how sometimes kids say silly things that seem like something someone far younger then them would say. That’s part of the charm of kids they aren’t perfect. The thing is, if you really have done a good job at making your students feel comfortable in your class and take chances in learning, these moments will occur more often as you’ve allowed that students to feel more comfortable taking chances. That’s a powerful thing. If you as a teacher can keep that laughter inside it will teach the other kids to react to students taking chances and sometimes failing in an appropriate and respectful way.

Yes, teachers can be very mean when they talk about students and I've walked out of situations when I feel teachers cross the line from being mean to laughing about a cute mistake. There is a line and we need to be conscious as teachers about where that is, because the instant our laughter becomes meanness it shades the way we think about our students. This is something that we can't hide from students at any age. Once a students feels that you make fun of them in a mean way, your effectiveness as a teacher dramatically diminishes.

That's something that's not funny at all.

Adele At 19

2012-01-04T20:41:00.001-06:00

Three reasons to get Adele's first album 19.

1.

One of her best songs showcasing an Amy Winehouse-like wickedness.

2.

"Chasing Pavements" was the most famous single from this album. This isn't quite "Rolling In Teh Deep" but it comes close."

3.

This album featured a cover of Bob Dylan's "To Make You Feel My Love." It seems like everyone and their mom has recorded this song (Billy Joel, Garth Brooks, etc.) but Adele manages to make it sound fresh.

Beware (Jay-Z Remix) by Punjabi MC

2012-01-02T11:37:00.002-06:00

Recipe for great song:

Fist let’s start with a 1980s TV theme song:

Now let’s take the bass line from that and add in some vocals. How about we use “Mundian To Bach Ke” by Punjabi artist Labh Janjua. This Indian song warns a young girl that now that she is grown up she needs to be careful of boys, perfect.

Ok. . . this ought to be good, let’s see what happened when Punjabi MC mixes these things up.

That’s a party right there, maybe we should add a little of the “H to the Izzo” and see what we get:

My mind is officially blown.

This is one of those things that on paper seems like it would never work but it comes together in a way that is unbelievable. I guess we shouldn’t be too surprised with Jay-Z, this guy did sample a song from Annie (which I wrote about in this earlier post).

Every once in a while a Western pop artist deeps into what people call “world music” for influences like Sting’s song “Desert Rose” which featured Algerian singer Cheb Mami.

I came across this song for the trailer for new Sacha Baron Cohen film The Dictator.

While the song seems to fit the vibe of this film it doesn’t really make sense. The trailer portrays this fictional dictator as being from a Middle Easter country and well, “Beware” is clearly of Indian origin. It’s like using “La Bamba” for the movie trailer for New Year’s Eve, which is set in New York City.

Besides being a pleasing mix of sounds what does this all add up to. The bass line from a show about a talking car makes sense in the way its about protection and so is the warning about men. Jay-Z’s lyrics start with typical boasting in the first verse talking about how he’s the “black Brad Pitt” but he gets decidedly political in the second verse.

Jay-Z takes this palate of sounds to talk about issues in the Middle East. He talks about screaming, “leave Iraq Alone” and wanting the troops to have a safe return. Then we get a deeper look at Jay-Z’s world view.

Before Bin Laden got Manhattan to blow
Before Ronal Reagan Got Manhattan the blow
Before I was cabbing it there back and forth
Raw we had it all day, Papi in the hallway
Cop one on consignment give you more yay
Yea, but that’s another story
But for now, Mami turn it around and the let the boy play.

Jay-Z starts talking about the attacks on 9/11 as well as referencing speculation that the Reagan administration had partial responsibility for the distribution of crack cocaine. He goes into his experience selling drugs out of a cab with his distributor. Then he wraps the verse up basically saying that it’s time to party. Like most Jay-Z lyrics there’s a lot crammed in here and he puts it across while effortlessly rapping through a variety of rhythmic patterns.

This song represent diversity in the best way. There's layers of meaning in all of the ingredients involved and each group of people these separate parts represent are invited through this song to explore cultures outside of their own.

This song isn't created for the sake of being "diverse." It's not a lesson in "diversity training," rather it's a celebration of how great a time we can have by coming together.

It's A Jolly Holiday With Buffy

2011-12-30T18:34:00.001-06:00

Christmas 2009

Growing up Christmas was a time when my family got together, exchanged gifts and shared a nice meal. We aren't Christian so this holiday lacked any significant spiritual meaning. As I got older Christmas meant less and less in my family but that’s okay. We have our own traditions and great times that we spend together outside of this holiday.

When I married Diana the question of whom we would spend Christmas with was an easy one to answer. Where my family didn’t hold too much importance in this day, Diana’s family did. So we would spend a day, sometime before Christmas with Diana’s dad’s extended family and then on the day itself we went to church and spent the afternoon with my mother-in-law’s extended family.

Christmas 2010

Over the years, the holiday and the traditions associated with it have begun to make more sense. While at first, I felt like an outsider when it came to Christmas I now feel fully included in this holiday and look forward to it every year and a lot of that has to do with Buffy.

Buffy is part of all of our Christmas traditions. She comes with us to pick out the tree that we cut down by hand every year. She sits under the tree waiting patiently for Santa to come. Of course when Santa does finally comes she excitedly greets him.

Of course Buffy gets presents,

Some of which like Christmas sweaters she’s not a fan of. . .

Buffy comes along with us to Diana’s family celebrations and proceeds to chase around Diana’s little cousin’s and give Grandma a hearty lick hello. It’s cute how Diana’s relatives not only check to see if Buffy will come but expect her to be there and often greet her first when we arrive.

Christmas 2011

Buffy brings excitement and awe to all of the parts of Christmas. She doesn’t care how cheesy things are or the silliness of cutting down your own tree in sub-zero weather. Buffy doesn’t have a clue about any tension or drama between family members, she’s just happy everyone is there.

The shopping, the commercialism and the stress of this time of year can kind of put a damper on Christmas cheer but I’m quickly reminded of what Christmas really is about when I watch Buffy run and down the aisle of Christmas trees and strain against her leash to enter Grandma’s house.

More than anything in the world, Buffy simply wants to be around the people she loves and share with them the adventures of life. For me, that’s the greatest about Christmas and Buffy is a beautiful reminder of the magic of this holiday.

Foolish Games by Jewel

2011-12-28T18:31:00.000-06:00

Yeah, it's been weeks and I'm still listening to Adele's "Someone Like You" and it still sound fresh. Today as I listened to this song for the fifth time in the row, Jewel's "Foolish Games" came to mind.

Is this as good as Adele? Maybe, all I know is that when she sings "breaking my heart" towards the end it touches a similar place that Adele reaches. This folky feeling of Jewel someone reminds me of Roy Orbison's "Crying."

ah man. . . this is getting brutal. I need something happier. How about the theme song to my favorite new TV show this fall?

. . . though I could really go for some Adele right about now . . .

The Road Less Traveled: Looking Back At The Beginning 9 Years Later

2011-12-26T08:57:00.000-06:00

There are many important dates that we remember in our lives. When I think about my wife Diana of course July 12th, 2008 jumps out as the day we got married. This was a beautiful day and the memories from that event I will always cherish but the day date that means the most to me when I think about Diana is December 26th, 2002 the day that Diana and I began our relationships as boyfriend and girlfriend.

After meeting earlier in that fall and fast becoming friends we came to that point in all relationships between men and woman when they have to choose which road to go down: Road A-the going out direction or Road B-the friend path.

With almost all of my female friends we went down Road B. Most of the time there really wasn’t a discussion needed, we just kind of got a friend vibe and we built off of that. However for some reason I wanted something different with Diana.

As we got closer to Winter Break, we were talking every day and hanging out, not really defining our relationship as one thing or another. Then the night before Winter Break when I was going to fly back to Seattle we kissed for the first time.

I still remember the magic of that moment. There was a singularity of being, a mutual expression and a shared moment that felt so pure and so right. Instead of clarifying our relationship it only made things more complicated and as I left for home the next morning my mind was in a whirl about what this all meant.

During that Winter Break, from December 14th to January 4th, Diana and I e-mailed each other every day. I have all of these e-mailed saved on a single 71-page document (38,818 words). The e-mails are cute to read and really aren’t that different than the conversations we have now. Most of it is sharing daily events and pondering random things, not really talking about our relationship until an e-mail I sent Diana on December 15th, subject: the road less traveled. . .

After three pages commented on the idea of perfection and the different types of friends we had, I laid out my feelings about the direction of our relationship:

You are not going to lose me as a friend through this.

If you say "Kingsley, I like you a lot, I care about you, but going down Road B is not what I need right now, and I'd rather just stay friends." then I'll be ok, I'll need some time to get over it but after that things will be just how they are now. Things will be fine.

Let's just get Road A out on the table and what that means to me. If we decided that being together, going out, is what we really need right now, I see that as a close friendship where the emotional closeness is reflected is physical intimacy. I believe the physical intimacy allows for a level of emotional intimacy as well. People, who I've never been physically intimate with I've been very close to emotionally but there is a kind of barrier.

If we go down Road A, there's a lot to gain but there are some risks, and yes, Road B is kind of a steadier road. . .I'm ready for Road A, right now. I just feel like I'm in that point in my life at the moment. I'm not sure of a lot of things, but I'm ready to take the chance.

I feel grateful that you took a chance with me and opened yourself up to me, and I hope I made you feel that the chance was worth taking.

Whatever happens to us in the future, it won't change we shared for the last quarter at all. That will always be there. If last quarter was all I got to experience of Diana Oleszczuk, I'd be very sad, but I'd also be very happy and very grateful for the time I had to share what I got to share with you.

After further e-mailing and phone calls Diana on December 26th, she decided to take a chance with me.

Why I did I want Road A with Diana when I had been okay with just being “friends” with other girls? Well, there was something different about Diana. There always has been. I wanted to love her, to share everything with her. She used to more colorful clothing and I found that as a reflection of her inner strength and passion. Diana loves what she loves without apologies no matter what other people think and I admire that about her.

People say that couple start looking alike the longer they are together, which if you know Diana and I is a hilarious thought. The biggest change in me in the past nine years of knowing Diana is how I embrace the things that I love. I don't know if I knew Diana was going to be the one to teach me that nine years ago, but I sensed something about how I knew she would be a positive force in my life.

Diana wasn't attracted to me because of the jokes I made or the fact I was a composition major. She saw in me the man that I'm still becoming and that's I liked about me and I knew I needed to hold her as close to me as possible.

It's hard for me to articulate how I felt nine years ago. Maybe it's just my memory or maybe it's the fact that like the most important moments in life, words fail to articulate the depth of the human heart.

Diana, I know it wasn't easy to take a chance on a relationship with me, and I thank you for believing in me and our future together. So much has changed in the past nine years of our lives and I can honestly say that I love you more than I ever have.

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.
-Hamlet: Act 2, Scene 2

Year 2: Winter Break-On Not Being A Teacher

2011-12-23T23:58:00.000-06:00

One of the most liberating feelings is walking through a store and seeing a kid misbehave and do absolutely nothing.

When I walk through the halls of my school and I see a student misbehaving it’s my responsibility to intervene even if that student isn’t one that I teach. It’s part of the being a member of a educational community and creating solidarity with other teachers so that students understand expectations in a consistent way.

When I’m not at school it’s a completely different story. Not only is it not required of me to intervene when some kid throwing a fit in the store, it’s inappropriate and fantastic. Why? Because sometimes it’s nice to not wear my teacher hat.

I am very proud of being a teacher but that’s simply part of who I am and I would like to think that if you talked to me outside of a professional context that it would not be completely obvious that I’m a teacher. It’s not that I don’t want people to know it’s that I'm a teacher, rather I would like to think there’s more dimensions to me than my profession.

This does get a little tricky sometimes. Being a teacher is a job of passion and it’s hard to not talk about things that you are passionate about. When people start talking about issues dealing with schools in parties a lot of times I just bite my tongue. First off, most people aren’t bringing these things up to really have a discussion and anyways most people don’t appreciate in a social situation someone opening up a can of “deeper understanding of knowledge” to disprove something someone is casually talking about.

There are times when I can’t hold it in and I show my colors as a teacher because I do represent my field and it’s important that I advocate not only for my profession but the experience of my students.

Once in a while teacher things pop out. Sometimes I give someone a teacher look without thinking about it, which can be kind of awkward (especially when it’s to my wife). This almost always is followed by an apology. Then there’s times when I just start teaching.

Last weekend I had some friends over and we decided to play a board game that not everyone had played before. Someone asked me to explain the rules and without thinking about it the tone of my voice changed and I turned into “Mr. Tang.” It was kind of eerie because I immediately started with a “hook” and explained the rules in a way that related to a main point to focus on and back around to the “hook.”

I guess this is kind of like a mechanic who is with some friends when a car breaks down and fixes the car. I can “teach” in a second.

Am I a teacher all of the time? I guess so. I would like to think that I’m not but I see my life through the lens of a teacher and that’s not such a bad thing. When I meet people I think about ways that I can connect to them, when I face situations I think of what I can learn from them and when I reflect back on my day I consider how these past experiences can help me in my future.

Winter Break Films To Watch

2011-12-21T16:46:00.001-06:00

Ok, it's Winter Break, which means I've watched a couple films and thankfully, they've all been fantastic. This is what I've seen in the last couple days:

Jackass 3D

This is exactly what you expect it to be. It's disgusting, over the top and gross on many different levels. And no it wasn't the guy covered in poo that was the hardest thing to watch, it was super-gluing a hand to someone's chest and ripping it off that was the most disturbing.

Missions Impossible: Ghost Protocol

So what happens when you have Brad Bird, famous for directing Pixar films do an action film? You get a delightfully funny, but not too silly actions movie with ridiculous action and a plot makes just enough sense to seem interesting but not distract from the action.

Reel Injun

This is one of those "what it means to be American" films. It talks about how the stereotypes of Native Americans developed throughout film history. It reminded me of the Celluloid Closet, which does a a similar thing with homosexuality. This is really powerful stuff that is important for all Americans to think about.

Page One: Inside The New York Times

This film is not so much about the Newspaper industry but the revolution in all of media we are experiencing. All of the founders of current media sources are brought together in this documentary to discuss the changes in the way that we consumes media. We've all heard a lot of these conversations but it's fascinating to see them put in one film and presented so well.

The Best Worst Movie

This film takes a look at Troll 2, considered by some as the worst film ever made, which has become a cult phenomenon. Like many great documentaries this film is about the human experiences and how people deal with events in their lives. It's amazing how such a great film was made about such a bad one.

Holiday Gift Giving For The Opposite Sex

2011-12-19T15:58:00.000-06:00

One of the challenges for men and women this time of year is buying gifts for the opposite sex. This is one of those lists of tips to be applied generally. There are exceptions to every single one of these tips/rules for gift giving. In no way am I implying that I’m an expert in gender roles and the developing relationship between women and men in the 21st century. These are simply good guidelines that if you follow them, more likely than not you will observe a sincere smile when your gift is received.

Woman:
1. Avoid giving things that imply that your significant other needs to be more organized, like wallets, bags and organizers. You may think that he wants to replace that wallet which is currently more duct-tape than leather, but he doesn’t AND he doesn’t want you trying to “fix” this part of his life.

2. Don’t get some kind of bobble or key chain that is really feminine that you expect him to carry and keep with us all the time. It’s a nice thought, but more likely than not other guys will make fun of him for the “I love you” dog tags you had made.

3. Unless you are 100% sure of the style and size of an article of clothing that he wants, don’t buy it for your man. One of the biggest fears guys have is of girls who try to “change” them. I agree, your man needs to actually learn how to dress for work but gifts aren’t the way to do it. Then we feel pressured to like the clothing and wear it and it’s a bad vibe. Go shopping with your man and show him a bunch of stuff he should wear, that’s fine, but don’t spring it on him on Christmas morning.

4. Electronics. This one is hard because most guys buy electronics they want and are very picky about things like video games and iPhone cases. We're oddly particular about brands and specifications. A lot of guys really like researching this stuff. Maybe you can green-light one of these kinds of purchases, but don't do it yourself.

5. Some Good ideas:

CD box sets
Nerf Dart Gun
miscellaneous licensed products (i. e. Simpsons’ Duff Beer Can) from TV shows, movies and video games
comic books: everything from Superman to Calvin & Hobbes
stand-up comic albums
humorous t-shirts featuring cultural references from his childhood
sports and film memorabilia
Food: Bacon, sausage, popcorn, beverages, potato chips, salsa, steak. Guys like food. Food as a gift is a great idea that is under-utilized. I’m not talking about cookies and chocolates, we get plenty of those during the holiday. Get your guy some real food.
Books: Guys actually do like to read. We just aren’t really into The Notebook. Do some research into what your man is into and find a fun, easy to read novel that reflects their interests. Don’t buy a book that is “good for us,” find a book that we would really like.

Men:
1. Don’t buy a girl a purse. This is a highly personal purchase. It’s just like how you are happy with your old wallet and you don’t want a girl to buy you a new one. Leave that one alone.

2. Unless you are 100% sure of a size and a style of clothing that she likes, don’t buy a girl clothing. What you buy sends inadvertent messages about what you think about her body, the kind of woman she is and the kind of woman that you want her to be. It’s thoughtful, I agree, but it’s a big roll of the dice. Maybe once your married think about doing the clothing thing, but before then, bad idea.

3. Woman don’t care about TV size, how many megapixels a digital camera has or the memory in a laptop. They want electronics that are functional, easy to use and are in cute colors. If you are going to buy electronics for her, bring along another woman and really listen to the questions she asks the salespeople.

4. It’s a good rule of thumb to not buy things as gifts that remind woman of chores associated with being a housewife. Vacuum cleaners, dishtowels, pots, and irons, probably will not go over well. Cooking stuff can be a great gift, if she like to cook, otherwise, it sends of message of trying to get her to do something that she’s actually not that into.

5. Some good ideas:

Stuffed animals
Picture frame with a picture of you together
Photo album:especially in this day and of age of digital photos, getting some photos printed and put together means a lot
Calendar of cute puppies
Coupon not for 10 minutes of your “affection” but for you to do a certain chore that is usually her responsibly,
Jewelry (keep it simple)
A DVD of her favorite film that you might think is a “chick flic” and a promise that you will watch it with her.
My Little Pony
Potted plant: these last a lot longer than a bouquet of flowers

Men & Woman
Probably the best gift you can give this holiday seasons is a hand-written note. You don't need fancy stationary, a piece of notebook paper will do. Just speak from the heart. Write about how grateful you are for all he or she has done in the past year. Write about how much you cherish your partner as a person. Tell about the meaning that their presence brings into your life and express how much you are looking forward to your future together.

You attach this note to any gift, even a toilet plunger and I promise you''ll see some tears welling up in your loved ones eyes.

Year 2: Week 15-The Best Of 8th Grade Girls

2011-12-16T10:24:00.003-06:00

When people think of 8th grade girls more often then not they think of these young women at their worst: catty, self-absorbed, immature, irrational and melodramatic. While this age and gender group has the potential for all of these things, so do people in almost every stage of life.

Do 8th grade teenagers have stronger tendencies towards these negative traits? I guess so, but more of this has to do with their physical and emotional development far more then any mean-spiritedness. When these traits emerge they are annoying, but they don’t really bother me because their potential for good is so much greater.

Over and over, my 8th grade girls have shown me great maturity and understanding as young adults, like this last week when three of my them visited my 3rd grade music class.

Because of a change in schedule my 8th grade Band met at the same time as one of my 3rd grade classes (I teach 3rd & 5th grade general music and 6th and 8th grade band). I saw some of my 8th grade girls earlier in the day and I mentioned this conflict to them and how they were going to have a substitute in band. They asked if they could come to 3rd grade music instead of band. I hesitated because the 3rd graders were preparing for their holiday performance. At the same time, I figured this might be fun, so I told them to come join me with the 3rd graders.

My school is a JK-12 school. There’s a Big Brothers and Big Sisters program which assigns high school seniors to different classrooms as a community building activity. This is fun and both the younger students and the seniors do really well with this and I was hoping that my 8th grade girls would bring that same positive energy to my 3rd graders and they really did.

When my 8th graders came in, my 3rd graders were very excited and they all wanted these guests to sit with them. We did a couple activities. One in which we went around the circle and had to come up with an animal and food as a call and response exercise. We practiced some instrument parts and went through the song for the upcoming performance.

Throughout all of the activities the 8th graders participated happily and engaged in a positive and appropriate way with my other students. They listened carefully to things the 3rd graders were saying, they didn’t any level of “I’m too cool for this” and showed a genuine interest in not only the class but the 3rd graders as people.

The 3rd graders were absolutely adorable as they tried to teach the 8th graders how to play and sing the songs. They were very interested in explaining how things in the class worked and their desire to involve the 8th graders showed a positive instinct include others and share what they knew.

Looking at my 8th graders interacting with my 3rd graders, I felt very proud. Every time I looked at one of my 8th graders working with some 3rd graders I couldn't help but smile. It wasn't just at the cute-ness of the situation it was the fact that these girls got it. They understood what this opportunity could mean for the 3rd graders and their instincts were to connect and be positive.

I'm not claiming that I understand 8th grade girls, but I do know that there's something special about this group and if you look at them with open eyes expecting the best, sometimes you'll be amazed at what you see.

Seven Nation Army by White Stripes

2011-12-14T17:10:00.000-06:00

How to teach "Seven Nation Army" to your beginning band.

Step 1: Transpose the bass line to concert D minor. The baseline conveniently fits within the first 6 notes almost all band method books teach.

Step 2: Teach the base line to the band with some simply thumping percussion.

Step 3: Teach some countermelodies. Focus on using the notes in the bass-line. For example they can play off beats on concert F.

Step 4: Have the students try to figure out a rhythmic ostinato that works over the baseline.

Step 5: Go crazy have different students play the bass-line and then layering countermelodies and student composed ostinatos.

Good times.

Area Codes by Ludacris featuring Nate Dogg

2011-12-12T20:26:00.000-06:00

Sometimes music is meaningful because it speaks emotions that we feel deep inside in a way that no other form of human expression can. “Area Codes” is not one of those songs. It’s meaningful because our reaction to it tells us about ourselves.

Ludacris’ chauvinistic dedication to the many “hoes” that find him irresistible around the country provides a reflections, a kind of Rorschach test. Our reaction to this song reveals our own views on promiscuity, romance and the illusions that unfortunately too many of us have about the meaning of sexuality.

Ludacris isn’t the first artist to write a song boasting about his conquests. The earliest one that comes to mind is “Travelin’ Man” by Ricky Nelson.

Nelson in this early 1960s hit sings about five different girls who he is in love with. While this song has a more romantic spin it doesn’t feel great. He talks about owning girls hearts and uses cultural allusions to characterize these woman.

Ludacris takes this approach further describing forty different women he is involved with.

Forty. Let that sink in for a second, forty different women. Maybe a list of all the area codes will help you imagine what we're talking about here.

770 - Atlanta, Georgia
404 - Atlanta, Georgia
718 - New York, New York
202 - Washington D.C.
901 - Memphis, Tennessee
305 - Miami, Florida
312 - Chicago, Illinois
313 - Detroit, Michigan
215 - Pennsylvania, Philadelphia
803 - Columbia, S. Carolina
757 - Tidewater, Virginia
410 - Baltimore, Maryland
504 - New Orleans, Louisiana
972 - Dallas, Texas
713 - Houston, Texas
314 - St. Louis Missouri
201 - Jersey City, New Jersey
916 - Sacramento, Califonia
415 - San Francisco, California
704 - Charlotte, N. Carolina
206 - Seattle, Washington
808 - Hawaii
216 - Cleveland Ohio
702 - Las Vegas, Nevada
414 - Milwaukee, Wiscounsin
317 - Indianapolis, Indiana
214 - Dallas, Texas
281 - Houston, Texas
334 - Montgomery, Alabama
205 - Birmingham, Alabama
318 - Monroe, Louisiana
601 - Meridian, Mississippi
203 - New Haven, Connecticut
804 - Richmond, Virginia
402 - Omaha, Nebraska
301 - Silver Spring, Maryland
904 - Jacksonville, Florida
407 - Orlando, Florida
850 - Tallahassee, Florida
708 - Northern Alberta, Canada

While Ricky Nelson gave each girl a couple lines, Ludacris limits the references most of these women to simply a number. Ludacris describes a sense of innocence about his circumstance like a guy in an Axe Body Spray commercial. As Nate Dogg sings, these woman just won’t let Ludacris be, what is he suppose to do about this?

I don’t full understand the cultural etymology of the use of the word “ho” to describe women. All I know is that in my circle of friend that’s not really a term we use to describe woman, ever. We’ll use prostitute to describe well, someone who actually is one, but “ho” eh. . . no. The different that Ludacris uses this word adding it on as a prefix is kind of entertaining, I’ll give him that much. My personal favorite “hor-derves.” Are these like snacks that area really easy to make or something? I don’t know, and I guess that's what makes this song so . . . ludicrous.

No one could possibly take this song seriously. Actually let me try that again. No one should ever take this song seriously. If you think that you will travel to different cities and find woman who drawn to you without you doing anything you clearly have never interacted with a woman. And while it may be “okay” to carry on with forty different woman when if it’s clear to all these woman your intentions to treat them like a “ho” and they are ok with it, it’s still disgusting. C’mon, people that’s unbelievably gross. I understand guys bragging about their sexual conquests. Once upon a time I was a teenager, but there’s limits.

Is “Area Codes” offensive? Taken seriously, yes. To describe a woman by a number and imply a level of sexual servitude is a statement not only about the woman who is a “ho” but also a statement about our mothers, grandmothers, aunts and daughters. If you think about think this song seriously and get that out of that reflection. Good for you. If you don’t and feel a level of respect for Ludacris and enjoy the fantasy of his conquests and are over the age of 16, you seriously need to seek some psychological help.

Taken as a novelty song, "Area Codes" has some clever lyrics, but even as a joke, it still makes us questions the way we feel our own sexuality and what it really means to share one of the most meaningful parts of ourselves with just one person, or more.

Our reaction to art sometimes reveals things we are proud of and other times feelings that necessitate reexamination.

What does your reaction to "Area Codes" say about you?

Year 2: Week 14-Positive Capital

2011-12-09T17:39:00.000-06:00

“Y’know, I ask this particular students to be quiet when we’re walking in a line and then he’s quiet for like a minute and the he starts talking again and I tell him to be quiet again. This seems to happen every day.”

One of my teaching colleagues told me about this student she was working with and her issues as you can see above with getting a student to follow directions. What I told her had to do as much with what she was doing but also what she wasn’t.

Being told to do a correct a behavior repeatedly is like being yelled at constantly. It’s really easy to tune it out. How do you get someone to really listen to? You talk really quietly and vary your tone and loudness. The same goes for positive and negative interactions. If the only interactions you have a student are negative he or she eventually tune it out. If you hear mostly positive things through interactions with people and then once a while a negative comment is said, it has a much deeper impact.

Positive interactions with students are like money in the bank. If you want to really have an effective conversation about correcting a behavior, it takes some positive interaction capital. My rule of thumb is that for every one negative interaction, I got have five good ones. What’s tricky here is that these positive interactions can’t be phony. They have to be real.

Often the students who get the most negative reactions from adults are not as likable as other students. Well, that just means you have to work harder to find something about that student that you like. And if you can’t after talking to that kid for 5 minutes then you hang out with that kid everyday as much as possible until you find something about that kid that you genuinely like.

This can get really hard, but if you really want your interactions to mean something to your students they need to feel that you like them and that responsibility is on the teacher, not the students.

And yes, teachers do like some students better than others. We’re human, but where the professional challenge starts is being able look past this and focus not on what the students is doing but he or she can do to be a positive member of the classroom community.

I believe that every student has something to contribute and wants to be a positive parts of the community. This may not be true, but if I doubt that at all, then it leads to giving up on students which is a road teachers should never go down.

Difficult students are a fact of life for teachers and you may think that if that kid wasn’t there the class would be SO much easier to teach. The funny thing is sometimes when that students is absent, some other students take his or her spot as the annoying student. But sometimes there is a moment when that student isn't in class and even though the class is easier to teach you miss him or her. If you get that place with that difficult kid in your life, then you really are doing your job as a teacher.

Iran So Far by Andy Samberg and Adam Levine

2011-12-07T21:58:00.000-06:00

Is Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad harboring a secret love affair with Andy Samberg?

Now there's an important distinction to make with this video. Andy Samberg is not making fun of Ahmadinejad for being a homosexual. The implication is not that Ahmadinejada is an inferior person because he's a homosexual. What this song is saying is that Ahmadinejad is horrible human being because of his hypocrisy, the deplorable way he treats his people and the lies that he continues to spread.

By making fun of his sexuality Samberg is saying that Ahmadinejad is hiding something from us and is a coward. He deserves our scorn because of his inability to acknowledge the most basic of human rights and sometimes the best way to deal with this anger is to laugh.

What It Means To Talk About Politics-Part II

2011-12-05T10:12:00.000-06:00

It is often said that you should not talk about politics and religion at social gatherings. Why is that?

I’ve made wrote this other political discourse and what it means. This last post talked about how talking politics is of such importance that it should not be discussed the way sports are discussed because we are talking about people’s lives, not some inconsequential dramatic event for us to live vicariously through.

That’s just the first step.

Most political issues are not questions of absolute right and wrong. Take the economy for example. You can find experts in economics, people who spend their entire lives in the field who both support Obama’s economic policies and others who are against them. These people who understand the intricacies of our economy in ways that most of us can barely comprehend cannot come to a consensus, so how can we talk about this issues like we have it all figured it out? Are you really smarter about this issue then all of these people who disagree with you?

If you are holding an opinion about something that is highly debatable, then you really are holding an “opinion” which when discussed is a very different thing then arguing a “fact.”

The President Of The United States’ job is to make difficult and unpopular decisions. If something was a no-brainers and easy issue to address it would never reach the president’s desk. The decisions Obama has to make include information and subtleties that most people never understand, so is it fair to form opinions without knowing all of the facts?

Have you ever read a bill that that a president has signed? I got about two hundred pages into the No Child Left Behind Act before giving up. Try this sometimes, read a bill that you are passionate about and then you will really know what you're talking about.

I’m not saying that in order to have an opinion about a political issue you have to know everything about it and read all of the policy. What I’m saying is that when you discuss a political issue more often than not people who are smarter than disagree with you, you do not have all the facts and you probably haven’t actually read first hand what you’re even talking about. That’s ok, but what that means is that you can’t discuss a political issue with a “I’m right, you’re wrong” mentality.

What about the other issues, the ones that are black and white? Let’s just say that you are actually have a Master’s in economics and have read the tax code. Or like me feel that the equal rights of homosexuals is about right and wrong. Well, just because someone is wrong doesn’t mean you get to be a jerk about it.

Are you discussing your opinion to help someone understand your side as being right or see their stance as being wrong? And yes, those are two different things. Sometimes the best of us fall in the latter category and ti's really not a great place to be.

The strength of a political argument is in showing respect and understanding of the opposing position and starting with their perspective to help them understand yours. Condescension does not change people's minds, but a willingness to listen and learn can change the world.

Year 2: Week 13 – To Be Liked

2011-12-02T20:53:00.000-06:00

I’m not going to deny that I enjoy the fact that many of my students like me, but that’s really not the point of what I do.

It’s interesting. When I think back on the teachers who had the most impact on me some of them I liked a lot but some of them I didn’t. What was consistent was the fact that I respected their knowledge, their skill as a teacher and the fact that they respected me.

What teachers provide for students is not some kind of celebrity or idol, but rather a person who helps guide them and we often do not guide them in ways that they would like. No teenager is ever going to thank a teacher for providing them with structure and guidance but students often get frustrated with teachers who do not do this.

We work so hard for students and it gets frustrating sometimes when students express dislike about us. While these words can be pointed its important to keep in mind that they aren’t talking about us as people but as teachers.

Have you ever noticed when a student sees you outside of the school building they get kind of freaked out like they don’t expect that you could possibly exist outside of the school building? Even though you spend all this time getting to know your students, caring about them, working so that they can learn and be successful they do none of these things for you and in this way, this relationship when at its best really is not about being a friend or being liked.

I remember when I first started teaching I worried that I would teach students that I didn’t like. If I were to say that I liked all of my students equally that would be a lie. Remember, even though I’m a teacher, I’m human. But I’m very cautious about these feelings and for the kids I don’t connect immediately with I make a conscious effort to work with so that my feelings about certain kids don’t get in the way of me serving other students. That being said, I have grown to care about all of my students no matter how they have treated me, because I simply choose to.

This is a hard thing to do especially when there are students who express disdain for you as a teachers but what’s important to keep in mind is that the fact that you have students who don’t like you mean that you are doing your job. Also, kids who seem to like you, don’t actually like you as a person so much the image of you as a teacher.

I can honestly say that I love it when my students are excited to see me in the hallways and want to tell me about their day. These kinds of interactions do help motivate me as a teacher but I can’t rely on them, because I know that they may dislike me in a minute when I give them a bad grade. You have to be willing to give up any positive feelings they have for you to provide them with what they need.

Knowing that you did what was right for your students even if it means that they dislike you as a teacher may not make you smile but its the proof you need at the end of the day to know that you truly are a teacher.