Customize your rabbit vibrator experience with the innovative design of this unique toy. My AVIDLOVE PLAY Four-Attachment Rabbit Vibrator review is going to walk you through the interchangeable, customizable, fun design of this vibe. Plus…how well does it really work?

The Four-Attachment Rabbit Vibrator‘s claim to fame is its interchangeable clitoral attachments. Choose from four different attachments to match your desires on any given day. The tip of the shaft provides independently controlled vibrations, while each one of the attachments provides a unique movement, vibration, or shape.

This swappable clitoral attachment design allows you to easily adjust the depth of penetration, making it easy to maintain clitoral contact – regardless of how deep or shallow penetration is. If your needs change mid-session, the clitoral attachments can be slid further up (or down) the shaft, customizing your penetration options in seconds. Plus, each attachment changes out at a moment’s notice as well.

Body-safe, all of the attachments and the base vibrator itself are fully made from silicone. This design makes for a vibrator that’s splashproof. It’s IPX6 water capable; i.e. it’s only splashproof and should never be submerged. I strongly recommend keeping the vibrator away from too much water; water damage will void the warranty.

The base vibrator is the only piece that needs recharging. The clitoral attachments pull their power directly from the base vibrator. The magnetic charging cable will charge up your vibrator in 2 hours, providing over 60 minutes of playtime.

This Four-Attachment Rabbit Vibrator comes with a 1-year sex toy warranty.

A Uniquely Modular Design

The AVIDLOVE PLAY Four-Attachment Rabbit vibrator has a super cool design. Instead of a single immovable shape, this sex toy comes in five parts:

• The long, insertable shaft.
• A rabbit ears clitoral attachment that vibrates when turned on.
• A rotating wheel clitoral attachment that spins when turned on.
• A broad, swelled, bean attachment that vibrates when turned on.
• A cactus-head massage tip that rotates (like a car buffer) when turned on.

Every one of these clitoral attachments can be slid onto the long, insertable shaft for a DIY rabbit vibrator.

That means this single toy turns into FOUR different rabbit vibrators AND it can also function as a standard g-spot vibrator when you take all of the attachments off of the long, insertable shaft. So, you essentially get five toys in one.

It’s important to note that each one of these clitoral attachments isn’t just a shape; each has movement/sensation built into it. They’re powered. When kept along the marked track on the insertable shaft, the toy transfers powers, and the attachment will be able to move/vibrate if you have it turned on.

For example, the rotating tongue attachment literally spins. When it is turned on, the tongue attachment spins in circles while you simply hold the toy. The cactus-head attachment swirls in circles, as if it’s buffing your clit. The rabbit ears and the bead-shaped attachment will vibrate with their own vibrational motor.

That isn’t the only thing. Because you get to slide the clitoral attachments onto the toy, YOU get to choose where the clitoral attachment is located on the shaft. If you like deep penetration, push the attachment all the way down to the base of the handle to enjoy the full insertable length of the shaft while still getting the clitoral spot where you want it. If you only enjoy an inch or two of penetration, you can slide those attachments up towards the tip, reducing how deeply you need to slide in the shaft while still maintaining the ability to make contact with the clitoral portion.

(Note: The connective design of the clitoral attachments requires a minimum penetration depth of 2.5″ – 3″, depending on how tightly you want to press against the clitoral attachment.)

Each one of the attachments has two arrow designs embedded into the silicone. Both of these arrows must be within the arrowed line drawn onto the insertable shaft for the attachment to receive power. If one end of the attachment is fully outside of the line, the attachment won’t have power. You can still use the insertable shaft’s vibrations, but the clitoral attachment will not have power. If the attachment is slightly outside of the line, the attachment will still have partial power, but it won’t be as powerful as if both sides of the attachment are fully within the line.

With this adjustable design, this AVIDLOVE PLAY vibrator shines for coupled use. The person who is about to experience the rabbit vibrator can adjust the clitoral attachment to a spot on the shaft where penetration depth is comfortable. Now, with the clitoral attachment as a “stopping point”, it’ll be impossible for a partner using the toy on them to push it “too deep”. It, essentially, adds a penetration limiter with the toy’s built-in design, making for stress-free coupled use. And it’s a design that can be changed on a day-to-day basis, depending on how deeply you want to go on any given day.

With multiple AVIDLOVE Play Four-Attachment Rabbit vibrator review attempts trying to specifically dislodge the clitoral attachment during use, I haven’t been able to. The only time it even moved was when we had lubed up the entire insertable shaft before adding the clitoral attachment.

Avoid lube under the attachment area to help the attachments stay in place really well. This lets a lover use this toy on you pretty roughly while maintaining the same “stopping point” you both set with the clitoral attachment ahead of time.

If you wanted to, for whatever weirdly odd reason, the toy will operate multiple attachments at once. You slide on multiple attachments, they all will function at a slight loss of power as long as all added clitoral attachments within the two arrows embedded onto the base vibrator’s shaft.

AVIDLOVE PLAY Four-Attachment Rabbit Vibrator Review: Control

This unique DIY rabbit vibrator doesn’t just have a single button to control its functions. It actually, impressively, offers independent control of both the shaft and the clitoral attachment. This means you can turn on the vibrations of the clitoral attachment while leaving the shaft’s vibrations off – or visa versa – depending on your mood and what you like.

It’s a really neat design.

Press and hold either button, and the toy itself turns on. (Either button functions as a power button).

Once the toy has given you two “buzzt” vibrations to let you know the toy is on stand-by, you can single press either button to turn on the function that button controls.

A single press on the insertable shaft button will turn on the vibrator of the insertable shaft. This vibrator is located at the very tip of the insertable end, intentionally located for g-spot sensation. There are three steady vibration intensities, each accessed by that single button press, and then some patterns to scroll through before you end back up on the steady vibration settings again.

A single press on the attachment button will turn on the attachment’s functionality. The attachment doesn’t have any patterns: just 3 steady intensity levels: low, medium, and high. For vibrations, that’ll be softer vibrations, medium vibrations, high vibrations. For the two rotating attachments, that’s a slower rotation, medium rotation, and fast rotation.

Whenever you’re done, a press-and-hold on either button will make the toy “buzzt” twice and then turn itself off.

I really love it. It’s easy to find the buttons during use, and they pop on and off with a satisfying click. It’s impossible to tell the buttons apart by touch alone, but once you get used to where each is located (one closer to the bum, one closer to your clit, on opposite sides of the handle), you’ll be able to control the toy with ease. It took me a couple of tries during my AVIDLOVE PLAY Four-Attachment Rabbit vibrator review to really get used to it, but once I did, it was second-nature.

Attachments can be swapped in and out while the toy is still on. If the attachment end was turned on and set to a setting, the new “attachment” you add will resume at the same intensity that the last attachment had been on when you removed it.

If, for any reason, you want noise and stimulation to stop, double-pressing either button will pop the toy into “Pause” mode, where all stimulation has stopped. If it isn’t resumed within 10 minutes, it’ll turn itself off to preserve battery. This is a pretty neat feature most sex toys don’t have, and it also works great if you need an quick-stop for any reason.

Lining Up this Rabbit Vibrator

Like all dual stimulation toys, this AVIDLOVE PLAY vibrator aims to pleasure two different erogenous zones at once. This means that the toy needs to work with your specific anatomy.

Unlike most dual stimulation toys, this Four-Attachment Rabbit Vibrator allows you to adjust how those two spots fit together. Being able to slide the clitoral attachment up and down the shaft will give you a better chance of finding that perfect angle that hits both your g-spot and your clitoris.

This rabbit vibrator is going to work best if you know you have a g-spot that isn’t too curved inwards. Depth won’t matter as much; if you have a deep – but not curved very internally – g-spot, the rabbit vibrator’s adjustable clitoral attachment is going to be a win for you. Since the toy can adjust for depth, deeper (or shallower) doesn’t matter for the Four-Attachment Rabbit. It can do both.

What it doesn’t have is a deeply curved g-spot tip. This g-spot tip’s curve is extremely shallow. It only protrudes a little bit away from the toy’s base shaft design. It offers a swelled, broader surface for making lots of firm contact with the g-spot, but that broad surface isn’t on top of a really deep curve.

If you’re someone who has a g-spot that requires a strong curve, internally, to hit it, the Four-Attachment Rabbit Vibrator is not likely to do so.

That’s, unfortunately, the camp where I fall in. My Bent Graduate is my go-to g-spot toy, and all of my other successful g-spot toys require a very curved shaft to hit it. I find it impossible to hit my own g-spot with my own fingers; they don’t have enough length and curve to get them where I need it. I just have a very “tucked away” g-spot; it needs a strong sex toy curve to hit it.

While it felt good, despite multiple attempts for my AVIDLOVE PLAY Four-Attachment Rabbit vibrator review, I was unable to get the toy to get anywhere near my g-spot. Even when I removed the clitoral attachments entirely, the shaft simply didn’t have the curve to hit my anatomy’s g-spot.

If you know that your g-spot isn’t “off the beaten path”, you’ll find it much easier to hit your g-spot with this.

As a final note, the clitoral attachment can be adjusted left and right; it can spin entirely around the main shaft, 360-degrees, and it will still maintain power to the clitoral attachment. If you’re someone who happens to have an off-centered g-spot, this is going to be a god-send. It’s a function that’s entirely unavailable on any other rabbit vibrator out there.

Let’s Talk Pleasure

I really love how rigidly they designed the insertable shaft. The toy has a very rigid interior (I’d guess plastic, to transfer vibrations) that’s covered with this thin layer of silicone. This means the insertable shaft has zero flexibility to it. I love that. The g-spot responds well to pressure, and if you get this vibe onto your g-spot, it won’t bend as you push the toy onto your spot. All of the pressure your hand provides will go directly into your g-spot with a firm toy that applies every ounce directly inside of you.

That’s A+. I’ve had so many g-spot vibes that bend under pressure, and it can really make it difficult to get broad strokes onto that inner-most spot.

The vibrations built into the insertable shaft are pretty buzzy. When using this vibe clitorally, I found that I’d need to orgasm within 15 minutes or so, or the vibrations would desensitize me to the point where it’d be difficult to orgasm.

However, I didn’t necessarily find that problem with internal use. As long as I popped the g-spot vibrations into a pattern instead of a steady mode, it added a bit of extra internal “oomph” that felt good. As previously noted, I can’t get this toy into my g-spot, so I’m not sure how my g-spot would respond to the vibrations, but it did feel nice when used internally. It wasn’t enough for a g-spot orgasm (as the toy wasn’t able to hit that spot), but it felt good.

Clitorally, the attachment’s vibrations are pretty good. They’re moderate; they lean buzzy, but the vibrations continue at the same intensity if you apply a ton of pressure to the toy, allowing you to push firmly enough into it to feel like it’s a bit more deep tissue than it is.

If you like clitoral pressure, you’ll want to stick with the two vibrating clitoral attachments. If you apply pressure to your clitoris with either of the vibrating attachments, the vibrations continue at the same intensity.

If you apply anything beyond the lightest pressure with the rotating tongue or the buffering attachment, the movement will stop entirely. This is designed as a safety feature to avoid pinching or skin getting caught in any of the attachments.

With all of that put together:

I was unable to orgasm if I was using the tongue attachment or the buffering attachment – regardless of whether I was using the vibrations on the insertable attachment at the same time. They just stop providing sensation as soon as I apply pressure, and I’m someone who needs pressure to orgasm.

I really struggled to orgasm if the insertable shaft was turned off while only using the clitoral attachment’s vibrations. It was possible, but it only happened once out of a few attempts.

I was able to orgasm with fast micro-thrusting while both the clitoral attachment’s and insertable shaft’s vibrations were at least on medium intensity. I found that if I kept doing this too long, the orgasm would become elusive, so it really was an experience of “Oh, right now? Okay!”. If I tried to edge with it, I wouldn’t be able to orgasm later.

I’m just not sure that I’m the target audience for this one. I love the innovative design, and I love how personalized you can make your experience. I just don’t think that it was designed for my own anatomy, in the typical problem of rabbit vibrators.

Let’s Talk Noise

If you need to be really discreet, some of the Four-Attachment Rabbit Vibrator’s attachments are probably going to be off-limits for you.

The toy is quietest when used with the bean-shaped attachment while the insertable shaft is inside the body. With moderate music or TV on, it’s difficult (but not impossible) to hear the toy outside of a closed door. It sounds like a two-motored vibrator with a distinct “hum” that’s not annoying or distracting, but it is audible.

Both of the moving attachments make more noise. They have an audible “WHIIIIRRRRRR” as the motorized components move the wheels. Since these motors are outside of the body, they’re easier to hear. These were definitely audible outside of a closed door with music on. That being said, it was still quieter than a wand massager; it’s audible, and I wouldn’t use it with roommates on the other side of the door, but if your roommate’s room was across the apartment, you’d be fine.

If you’re using the insertable shaft externally as a clitoral vibrator, the toy still has some noise to it. It’s more than when it’s inserted but less loud than when you’re using the moving attachments. Again, it’s quieter than a wand by a huge margin, but you can hear a bit of the noise through a closed door with music on.

In case of emergency, a single press and hold of any button will turn the toy’s noise off within 2 seconds. It does have two “buzzt” noises that signify it’s turned off which may make plausible deniability a bit harder if someone walks in mid-use. Utilizing “Pause Mode”, which is two double-click presses on either control button, will instantly turn the toy’s sensation off. It will still have a blinking light (which will draw attention to the toy under blankets), but the noise itself will stop in case of discovery.

Clitoral-Only Use

I tend to be someone who likes to warm up with clitoral-only vibrations. During this AVIDLOVE PLAY Four-Attachment Rabbit Vibrator review period, I tried to figure out what clit-only options I had.

The clitoral attachments do still work if you put them on upside down, as if the clitoral arm is facing away from the insertable end.

That being said, the track that powers them doesn’t extend far enough towards the base to allow you to use the toy backwards for clitoral-only sensation.

If you’re hoping to warm up with a bit of vibrations before sliding the toy inside, you can use the insertable shaft’s tip as an external vibrator. I’m not really fond of this; the buzzy vibrations tend to leave me feeling a bit desensitized. But it is an option, if you want it.

I just leaned towards warming up with my fingers or a different toy to get turned on enough to want to insert something.

I don’t count that against this toy. A rabbit vibrator is designed for dual stimulation, and it’s no surprise that it doesn’t do single stimulation easily. It’s something to note, however.

Storing the Rabbit Vibrator

Unlike most sex toys, this rabbit vibrator has a lot of pieces. You have the 5 pieces of the “rabbit” itself in addition to the charging cable and instruction manual.

To help, the Four-Attachment Rabbit Vibrator comes with a white satin drawstring storage bag. All of the pieces will fit into the bag, but it’s a tight fit. With how tight it is, I have to make sure to tie the top of the bag. If I don’t, the overfull bag can start to loosen, and pieces can fall out. The bag is small enough that it feels like an odd place to skimp; a few more inches in size would have made this much more reliable for storage.

Personally, if you don’t need to be discreet, the original packaging, with its foam cut-out storage tray, really works best. It keeps all of the attachments available and viewable AND makes it so you can stack the toy in a closet. Just be aware that the box clearly displays the sex toy. If you have a deep bookshelf, you can store it sideways, with a purple-only side showing, as if it’s a book until you want to use it. I even took a picture of that view:

Final Thoughts: AVIDLOVE PLAY Four-Attachment Rabbit Vibrator Review

The post AVIDLOVE PLAY Four-Attachment Rabbit Vibrator Review appeared first on Kinky World.

No-strings sex dating is very popular these days, thanks to the magic of the internet. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sex and kink can be a really enjoyable activity all to itself while getting into and maintaining a relationship takes a lot more time and mental energy.

But what happens if you start developing desires for more than just fun and pleasure?

What is a Casual Kinky Play Partner?

The root of the agreement between two playmates is that they don’t expect a long-term commitment. In polyamorous speak, casual sex partners are not looking to ride the “relationship escalator“.

That isn’t to say there isn’t, necessarily, a level of commitment. Because of the kinky things we do, a certain level of trust may be required from our partners. Jumping into a scene with your new partner right after meeting them at a bar on Saturday “night” at 1AM may not end well. Dominant/submissive dynamics also require a level of negotiation that just isn’t possible if nobody will ever agree to commit to anything.

In the world of kink, “friends with benefits” arrangements may be more specifically negotiated than in the “let’s leave it vague” world of non-kink. However, those negotiations, commitments, and agreements typically focus more on the safety and boundaries of all participants instead of an expectation to get married or “meet the parents”.

Your kinky playmate agreements might look something like this:

• You will come to my house every Thursday at 6PM, dressed in the lingerie I like, for a BDSM play session. (This requires a commitment of time and effort.)
• We will let one another know if we engage in any activity that exchanges bodily fluids outside of our dynamic. We will then decide if the two of us will need to use safer sex barriers or stop playing together. (This requires a level of exclusivity and disclosure.)
• You will bring your own sex toys to every meet up we have. We’re both still playing with other people, so having your own toys that are “unique to you” will reduce risk and STI concerns.
• We agree to only meet up when my wife is out of town. She knows and is okay with us, but she doesn’t want our meet-ups taking away from time she could otherwise have with me.

All of this is to say: commitment, negotiations, and agreements are a staple of casual BDSM arrangements. This makes it a little easier to discuss falling in love with your playmate because we’ve had some of these discussions ahead of time, but it still isn’t fun.

Options if you Fall in Love with a Sex Playmate

If you look at this logically, there are only two ways this can go. What you choose to do within those options is up to you.

Option 1: Tell Them How You Feel

It’s important to note that disclosing how you feel does NOT have to end your arrangement.

Especially in kink communities or for people experienced with polyamory, people may continue to play and have arrangements within unrequited love dynamics. I’ll offer some tips on bringing that to life below, but it’s important to note that disclosing how you feel does not have to end the arrangement.

Option 2: Don’t Tell Them How You Feel

There’s a lot to be said about keeping your thoughts to yourself.

For one, feelings and emotions can be fleeting. You may not actually be in love with your FWB; you might actually just be lonely, and they’re your primary outlet for human connection and socialization. You might share your body and mind in a way that you don’t share with anyone else, and that simple act of intimacy can lead to feeling like you’re in love. (This is something even professional therapists have to deal with, and they’re not having sex with their clients!)

If you think that might be the case, try to branch out and make some new friends. Finding other outlets for human connection and emotional intimacy often will soften some of those affectionate feelings you had towards your play partner.

For another, disclosing your feelings to your casual play partner may dissolve your arrangement. If you both already have a good thing going, the idea of ending it might be enough to encourage you to keep your feelings to yourself. If you’re able to continue with your arrangement without putting undue pressure on your FWB, that can work.

For many people who are in love, though, it can be difficult to keep from wanting “more” from your arrangement. While you used to hang out after sex because you were too tired to move, you might find yourself hanging out longer because you want more skin-on-skin time. While you might have previously offered to spank your partner because you wanted to make sure the quid-pro-quo arrangement left you both satisfied, you might find yourself craving a spanking just to see them smile back at you.

Finally, you can keep your feelings a secret, hoping they will disclose their feelings for you. This usually doesn’t work out. While mutually falling for close friends or casual sex partners is a plot point you’ll see in virtually every romcom book or movie, it doesn’t usually happen that way in real-life. It’s unlikely that your casual play partner is harboring the same thoughts and waiting to make a move on you. I know, that’s not very fun, but it’s likely the truth.

If you’re going that route, consider setting a deadline for yourself. If your play partner doesn’t confess their feelings for you within X months, you’ll tell them about yours.

Is This Moral?

If you choose not to disclose how you feel, you also have to decide where your morality line lies. Some would say that secretly being in love with a play partner – without disclosing it – is placing them into an immoral, uncomfortable position. It falls outside of the kink communities’ accepted acronym for consent: “Risk-Aware Consensual Kink” (RACK).

If your partner isn’t aware that there’s a risk of higher emotional entanglement, they aren’t fully aware to consent to the relationship and the activities you’re doing.

You have to decide if this line of thinking mirrors your own. If so, even if it leads to the dissolution of your kink dynamic, the “right” thing to do would be to confess your feelings.

Making a Play Partner Arrangement Work with Unrequited Love

Even within romantic relationships, one partner “loves” the other partner more than the other. In healthy romantic relationships, that balance tends to tip backwards and forwards, hopping between partners, as life keeps us busy and our day-to-day annoyances build up.

It’s possible to set up a power exchange dynamic or friends with benefits arrangement when unrequited love is involved. It’s just hard to do. “Hard”, however, isn’t “impossible”.

You have some options:

Get Into a Romantic, Escalator-Climbing Relationship

You might confess your feelings to your play partner, and you might be surprised to find that those feelings mirror your own.

I want to be clear: this rarely happens!

But sometimes, it does. If that’s the case, and you’re both on the same page, you can both choose to deepen your dynamic with one another!

If that isn’t the case, though, here are some other ways to continue your dynamic even if one of you feels deeper feelings than the other.

Set Boundaries on Your Relationship

If you think you’re in love, you can find yourself craving more time, attention, and intimacy with the person you’re in love with. If that other person doesn’t share those feelings, this can be where your dynamic starts to become a problem. You want more, more, more while they were quite happy with where you both were.

To avoid this, set boundaries on your playmate dynamic. One of the best things about this solution is that it doesn’t require disclosing your feelings to your partner; you can intentionally set limits for yourself without necessarily negotiating this with a partner.

Those boundaries or limits will vary based on what you’re currently craving and what you know about yourself. Some common examples might be:

• I will only see my playmate once a week.
• I will not kiss my playmate on the mouth.
• I will not exchange bodily fluids in any way, and I’ll use safer sex barriers to avoid that happening.
• I will intentionally ask my playmate about their other partners to remind myself that they are not seeking a monogamous relationship.
• I will not enter into a power exchange dynamic with them.
• I will not allow any commands/requirements/restrictions that affect me outside of our scheduled play sessions. Any Dominant/submissive play we do will be during our specific play date times to reduce how encompassing this relationship feels.
• I will meet up with my partner’s wife/husband/etc. once a month for coffee, reminding myself of their other responsibilities and ensuring their partner doesn’t see me as a threat.

It’s a bit like your favorite food. Some people might only pick it up once a week from the supermarket, so they’re not tempted by having it in the house every day. Other people might choose a day ahead of time (“Donuts are only for Friday”). Other people might only allow themselves their favorite foods during certain activities (“I’ll only have a drink if I’m out with friends”) or as a reward for other activities (“If I get my workout in, I’ll add some flavor to my coffee.”) Some people intentionally portion control their favorites ahead of time, automatically putting half of their food into a to-go container at the restaurant as soon as they receive it to ensure they don’t eat all of it now.

We all have things that we crave and want, and if you sit and think for a bit, you might be able to apply your “moderation strategies” to your relationship too.

Explore Polyamory

Polyamory is a lot more common in BDSM communities than it is in the world at large. If you and your partner are open to some form of polyamory, this may be a solution. This one is especially common when the two people have mutual feelings but external entanglements or relationships had previously prohibited anything more from developing between the two of you.

I want to be honest: this kinda feels like the “have your cake and eat it too” option. Not only does your playmate get to keep all of their other relationships, but you both get to explore one too. And it is; it is a bit like having both.

But it’s rarely as smooth as that. Everyone’s current romantic partners need to agree. Even then, if everyone has previously operated as monogamous, there are going to be some pretty big drama-filled evenings when jealousy pops up.

Jealousy in polyamory is normal, but when you’re new to poly, you haven’t developed the tools to handle ongoing jealousy. In monogamous relationships, you might get a bit jealous if someone hits on your lover at a bar, but you know that it’s temporary and your lover will be leaving this transient person soon. That won’t be the case with a polyamorous relationship; everyone needs to develop the tools to handle and work through jealousy as these relationships are expected to continue.

If you want to go down this route, I highly recommend some very open conversations as well as diving deep into some books and articles on polyamory. (“Opening Up” by Tristan Taormino is one of my favorite books on it!)

Keep in mind that polyamorous relationships vary widely. Some people in polyamorous relationships only see each other once a year (we call those comets!). Others may live between two different households. Don’t assume that becoming poly requires changing how often you both see each other; adding polyamorous overtones simply means that everyone involved in intimate relationships is okay with more intimate/romantic/ongoing contact happening between you and your playmate.

Be Honest When It Pops Up

There are probably certain activities or feelings that really “bring on” feelings of romance and intimacy.

If you and your casual playmate agree to it, you might find that being open and honest when those feelings come up can really help you both work through it. This might look something like:

• “When you spank me while I’m bent over your knee, I feel really subby and makes me want to do more with you.”
• “When you call me your “Pet”, it really makes my brain feel like we’re in a romantic relationship.”
• “Locking me into a chastity cage feels really permanent, and every time we do it, it starts to make me think of you owning my bits for the foreseeable future.”
• “When I’m away from you and writing your name on my body before work, it makes me think of you all day. It’s hard not to want more when I’m thinking of you all day, every day.”

Once those things are out in the open, you have a few options.

• Choose not to do those activities. If certain things are triggering those desires, you both can agree that they aren’t a good idea. This doesn’t have to be a permanent solution: you can always revisit these things later.
• Modify those activities. By making a few changes to the activities you’re already doing, you might still be able to do those activities without triggering those cravings. Taking one of the above examples, you might still do spanking – but you might intentionally avoid any over-the-knee positions.
• Do those activities but do them intentionally and change your aftercare plans. If you both know that a certain activity makes you really crave some public declarations of love, go into those activities with awareness of the feelings you’re building up. This may mean taking some time during aftercare to verbally and physically re-establish where you both are as partners. This can be an awkward conversation (“I really enjoy the scenes that we do, and they help me explore sides of myself I never knew I wanted to, but I want to reiterate that I’m not looking for a committed romantic relationship right now”), but making sure everybody is on the same page is one of the best ways to keep a different-desires relationship going.

Find Another Playmate

If you remember, we talked about your love for your playmate may not actually be “love” at all. It may be a solution for your loneliness or an endorphin high – and your new casual playmate just happens to be the “source” for all of those feel-good feelings.

If you think that may be the case, an easy solution can be to find another casual play partner. With another play partner around, it can be easier to see what feelings for your first play partner are genuine desires for “moving up the escalator” and what ones are simply happening because this person is your sole outlet for other needs.

Just make sure finding a new casual play mate is within the negotiated limits of your current relationship!

Originally Posted: May 25, 2017.
Updated: July 2026, July 2025.

The post What to Do If You Fall in Love with Your Casual Sex Partner appeared first on Kinky World.

The doll is made from squishy, single-density TPE material with an internal metal skeleton that runs from the neck to the hips. Each one of the thighs offers an articulating, ball-and-socket joint, allowing the thighs to raise, lower, and spread. The entirety of the doll is a single firmness of TPE with the breasts feeling exactly the same as the tummy squish.

Small in height but thicker in width, the Veronica MILF sex doll offers near life-size body proportions with a thicker, squishier frame. The doll is 27.5″ in height, making it on the shorter end of full-torso sex dolls. With that height, the breast circumference is 33″, waist circumference is 24.5″, and hip circumference is 34.5″. The vaginal canal offers a depth of 6.3″ while the anal one has a depth of 7.5″. Neither canal has an easy drainage hole.

According to Ppunson, the Veronica sex doll wears a size Small. If you go off Victoria’s Secret’s size chart, a hip circumference of 34.5″ would put the doll squarely in their Extra-Small size category.

With the doll’s short torso, the waist circumference is very close to the doll’s underbust measurement. That puts the doll’s bra size pretty squarely near a 26F. You will never find that size in a lingerie store, but we’ve found that Small/Medium sized bralettes seem to fit the doll okay. I’d avoid bras with built-in cups; the huge underbust-to-bust ratio will be really hard to fit correctly.

The Ppunson Veronica is a neck-to-thigh sex doll with both vaginal and anal entrances.

READ: All the Sex Doll Tips You Could Ever Want

Discreet Packaging

Having a 50-pound box delivered to your doorstep is fraught with a bit of worry. It’s clear this isn’t Ppunson‘s first rodeo, though, and they’ve built a few redundancies into their packaging.

For one, the outermost shipping box did not state anything about a sex doll. It did recommend “Team Lift” all over the box (which I find hilarious as….presumably, you won’t be team lifting this doll once it’s in your bedroom), but there was no mention of anything sexual or the branding on the outermost box.

In case that outermost box is injured or torn in any manner, directly inside that outermost box is another plain brown box. This brown box has zero markings on it, but it offers another layer of discretion if something is torn.

Inside that plain brown box is a styrofoam-ish bottom and tray that’s wrapped in gray paper. This styrofoam tray needs to be sliced open in order to reveal the sex doll inside.

Once you get to the doll, it’s bagged in a sealed plastic safety bag, sitting inside of that styrofoam tray.

Sex Doll Reviewer Program

Are you into sex dolls and have experience using them? Ppunson wants me to let you know that they’re looking for sex doll testers right now.

If selected, Ppunson will occasionally send out a complimentary sex doll in exchange for your opinion. They can craft some hot dolls, but they want to make sure that the angles and designs stand up against what the average customer is going to throw at them.

They’re specifically looking for people who are honest, able to review within 14 days of receipt, and are able to make videos or photos of the doll (face not required).

You must be 21 years or old and live in the USA or Europe (as of May 2026).

Check out, and apply to the program, here.

The Size!

The Ppunson Veronica is not a small sex doll. Honestly, it’s probably the largest sex doll that we own, and I’m not mad about it. A lot of that heft goes into the doll’s thicker, squishier body. The manufacturer chose to add thickness and width to the doll, so the doll is getting pretty close to a lifelike circumference while the height remains shorter-than-average.

All-in-all, this essentially means the sex doll maintains pretty realistic, real proportions and ratios while being at a height that is (barely) able to be gripped on both sides at once.

Be aware that, outside of the box, the Ppunson Veronica is slightly under 50 pounds. It’s not a lightweight doll to bounce or move around, but it is still light enough that it can be moved without thinking about rolling chairs or dollies. It isn’t pleasant to move, but I can move it around the house for cleaning and use; I just don’t like to move it around more than I have to. It IS heavy.

Just like the Ppunson Jax, the Ppunson Veronica features an internal metal skeleton. This rigid internal core keeps the doll from melting like Jello in your arms when you pick it up. It’s still a hefty doll to move, but the internal skeleton allows you to essentially “hug” the doll against you to move it around.

Even with the internal skeleton and the shorter height, I still prefer not to move or play with the Ppunson Veronica unless I’ve recently trimmed my fingernails. Getting a good grip can be dangerous with longer fingernails as they can slice or harm the material. You can also wear a pair of gloves when maneuvering the doll to reduce fingernails slicing into the material.

That all being said, you might be able to do Cowgirl or other sex positions where the sex doll is on top, but it will essentially feel like moving an entire person’s body weight up and down your shaft. We’ve exclusively focused on sex positions where the MILF sex doll can lie down on furniture.

The Quality is Pretty Okay

I’m not going to say this is the highest quality sex doll torso you can buy. However, for the price and the size, the quality is impressive. A competitor might price a similar sex doll torso around $500-$700 whereas this Ppunson version is only slightly above $200 (as of this Ppunson Veronica review publication date of May 2026).

It’s an impressive savings with a doll that’s still very functional, very hot to look at, and still surprisingly large and lifelike.

One of the first things you’ll notice is probably the single-density TPE material. The entirety of the doll is made from the same density of TPE. This isn’t a dealbreaker at all, but it means that squeezing the breast feels about the same as squeezing the tummy. It’s the same material but just poured into different shapes. It looks hot; it just doesn’t feel or jiggle differently.

This TPE material has to be resilient enough to withstand you moving it around and playing with it as well. It means it’s a relatively sturdy TPE material. Again, this is great for durability and the price, but it also means that this formulation of TPE doesn’t offer the same jiggling and wiggling that other TPE blends can offer. When you slap the doll, it jiggles a little bit, but it isn’t an over-the-top jiggle.

You may not care about that at all. We have sex dolls that offer that jiggling, and not having a large amount of it here wasn’t a dealbreaker.

You might notice or care if you’re someone who likes to slap and bounce around your sex doll. If you’re specifically into the way that ass meat jiggles with every thrust (and that makes up a good portion of your arousing visual when it happens), you won’t find too much of that with this sex doll.

The build quality is there. There were no rips, tears, or divets (aside from the bottom of the thigh joints) into the TPE material.

There’s some lovely skin blushing around the sex doll’s aereolas and the vulva. Some of that reddened coloration seems to have rubbed off onto one of the doll’s inner thighs, and it has a red inner thigh. We’ve attempted to clean it off, but it hasn’t rubbed off yet. (I’m unsure if it will)

All-in-all, think of this more as a sex doll that offers pretty solid quality but doesn’t have some of the shiny “special features” that other sex dolls may have. This keeps the price low while still giving you a solid doll to play with.

Ppunson Veronica Review: How Does It Feel?

The Ppunson Veronica is pretty solid. If you’re going for a sex doll that feels good, it pulls that off. It isn’t as stimulating as some of our other dolls, and it isn’t as stimulating as a Fleshlight, but it’s reliably solid. Sliding inside feels good and can quickly get you to orgasm, and that’s all the Veronica really needs to do.

The vaginal tunnel feels slightly looser than the anal tunnel, but both of them are very snug, and you’ll want lube to slide into either one.

Both handled an average-sized (length and width) shaft with zero issue. He couldn’t hit the end of either tunnel. (For those with slightly above-average lengths, the Veronica sex doll actually has slightly-longer tunnels than usual. The vaginal has a solid 6.3″ in length while the anal is a rare 7.5″ length for sex dolls.)

Partnering with the physical pleasure of the internal textures is the look of the doll. The large, hanging breasts look impressively lifelike – though with the sex doll on its back, in real life, they’d definitely be hanging more in the armpits. The lower tummy has a squishiness to it with a bit of a hanging belly. The mons pubis near the vulva is plushy and pronounced, realistically looking like what someone’s vulva would be if they had a larger frame with fat there.

All of these visuals come together to become a sex doll that looks a lot more like a “real” body than most sex dolls. If you’re someone who likes larger breasts or a squishier body, the Veronica really delivers.

As a single density of TPE, though, the “jiggling” doesn’t quite match the stationary visual. Most of the sex doll is relatively firm. This includes the breasts and all of the fatty, squishy areas. You don’t get much jiggle from the doll itself. Each thrust doesn’t jiggle the breasts, and the squishy areas don’t jiggle either.

As I’ll mention below, the most movement I see on the doll is in the neck as the spine-less neck tends to wiggle around with every thrust. This lack of jiggle is to be expected on such a budget-friendly doll; adding different TPE densities throughout a single doll costs money, and you’re already getting an impressively low price on this sex doll.

For the price, though, the Ppunson Veronica feels like a pleasurable sex doll with solid, realistic visuals with a firm, squishy frame that feels enjoyable to “press up” against. If you want more realism from your jerk-off sessions, the Veronica does that at a fraction of the price of most sex dolls with a body that actually looks more realistic than most.

Ppunson Veronica Review: A Femdom’s Perspective

I have to be honest: this body type is probably my favorite sex doll body type that we own.

I love watching my submissive play with it.

This is partially because of the proportions. Most of the sex dolls we own look like idealized Victoria’s Secret models or look young enough that I’m uncomfortable with the implications. I can’t say it feels great in my brain to see my submissive having sex with a body that can only exist after multiple surgeries and one salad-a-day eating plans. It doesn’t make me feel particularly good about me.

I don’t have that issue with this sex doll. When we put her in certain positions, she has a bit of a chubby tum. Her ass is nice to look at, but it isn’t outside the realm of what a human body could have. She has some very large breasts, but again, they’re relatively realistic (perkier than what most would be at that cup size, but not outside the realm of possible).

It’s a smaller ratio than lifesize, but the proportions are there, and it looks like it could be a human body that just…existed on a random Tuesday.

I love watching him with the doll. I love teasing with this doll. I love how into the doll he is, and I love watching him slide inside of the doll, barely able to hold his load, while he enjoys it.

Just a differing perspective for you if you’re thinking about trying to introduce your wife or partner to the idea of a sex doll. ;)

My only big complaint about watching it: the sex doll’s neck is too long. This feels like such a weird, nit-picky complaint, but it’s extremely distracting while he’s thrusting into it. As the long neck doesn’t have a spine or firm inner core, it “wiggles” around with every thrust. In fact, I’d say it’s the most jiggly part of the entire doll. With every thrust, the neck bounds up and down, breaking some of the realistic immersion for me. It’s weird; I never would have thought I’d nitpick a neck length for a sex doll, but the Veronica’s neck is just too long. During every one of our ppunson Veronica review trials, I found myself distracted – at least once – by the neck. That’s an odd thing to get distracted by when your pretty submissive is sliding into a sex doll.

Storing This Sex Doll

I’m still relatively new to sex dolls of this size. Our smaller sex dolls live inside plastic storage totes you can buy from your average big box store.

When I received this doll for my Ppunson Veronica review, I realized it was too tall to fit into the average 66 Quart storage tote from a big box store. Width-wise, it’d fit, but the doll’s height just won’t let it go into the container. We didn’t have a tote on-hand big enough for this doll, so we had to go shopping.

While standing in the middle of a big box store, I had to compare the measurements of the Veronica sex doll to the totes available in the store. Eventually, I found one (just one!) tote that would fit the Veronica’s measurements without needing to go into the garage tool storage section. (This took longer than I would have expected, but it worked!) It fits in this exact container, if you’re also needing to store one.

The Ppunson Veronica is now stored in a plastic, see-through storage bin that offers sturdy handles for moving the doll around. It does work, though, but you’ll need to find a place to store a box that’s 28″ in length lying down. (“Lying down” is the hard part. This is much too long to fit into my hallway closets, and the doll shouldn’t be stored upright.)

As with any sex doll, make sure the doll is entirely dry before putting it away into the storage tote. Allowing any moisture to remain before storage is how you get mold.

Final Thoughts: Ppunson Veronica Review

Thanks for reading my Ppunson Veronica review.

The post Ppunson Veronica Review appeared first on Kinky World.

Turns out the internet is really great for discovering new things, and if you’ve ended up here, you’ve probably seen someone wearing a chastity cage and are curious about trying it for yourself. But…it’s a literal cage. Do chastity cages hurt? They look hot, but pain on the sensitive bits probably doesn’t feel like a particular road you want to go down.

Well, I have good and bad news.

Do chastity cages hurt?

Not…necessarily.

They don’t have to hurt. When you’re wearing a properly-fitted chastity cage, you’ll feel pressure and constriction, but it doesn’t include sharp pains.

There is an adjustment period when learning how to put on a chastity cage, but it’s similar to seasoning a corset. Okay, that analogy may not be applicable to most chastity cage wearers. How about: it’s similar to wearing a new pair of ski boots or steel-toed boots.

That is: you’re adding restriction and weight around your penis and balls. If you’re like most people, you’ve, y’know, simply never done that. So there will be a period of discomfort and adjustment when you get used to having weight hanging off your sack 24/7 and have to get used to the uncomfortable pressure of bars pushing into your flesh if you start to get hard.

But, presumably, some of that restrictive sensation is why you’re turned on by chastity cages in the first place, so it’s a bit of a catch-22.

This “adjustment period” is why I wrote my male chastity plan. It gives you an entirely free training plan to adjust your flesh to wearing a chastity cage on a daily basis. (Please don’t make me type it all out again, so just go view it there.)

Do chastity cages hurt? They shouldn’t. Which means, if you’re experiencing chastity cage pain, we can troubleshoot most of it. Let’s use my decades (oh god, I’m getting older) of chastity cage experience to help troubleshoot what might be going on here.

Your Chastity Cage Is the Wrong Fit

The number 1 biggest reason that your chastity cage hurts you is because it’s a bad fit. I’d go as far as to say 90% of people are experiencing pain because of the fit.

Realistically, your penis and balls are very unique to you. Breasts are unique to each body too, and I’d even argue that your penis and balls are even more unique since your vascularity will determine how often they move and resituate.

With this in mind, it shouldn’t surprise you that a random, store-bought chastity cage with measurements you may or may not have paid attention to might not fit you all that well. This is not a “one-size-fits-most” t-shirt.

It especially shouldn’t surprise you when you remember that chastity cages are “technically” a sex toy, and sex toy manufacturers have an entire history of pushing things to market that don’t really work or aren’t created by someone who understands the what/why of what they’re making.

(For example, the very front of the box of this Pipedream Products chastity cage isn’t even actually being worn correctly on the penis on their own packaging! That ring should be beneath the balls. This cage would slide off in seconds.)

If you’re brand new to chastity cages, you probably bought a relatively cheap one. I don’t blame you; nobody wants to spend a fortune on something they’re just curious about.

It can be a bit like buying discounted, day-old gas station sushi and deciding sushi sucks, though. Especially if you get a bit of food poisoning from it. It’s just not representative of how a good product would be in the hands of a knowledgeable creator.

There are a few important things to note about the fit of a chastity cage. Bear with me here, because I’m a verbose human, and I want you to understand the WHY behind we want it to fit like this.

The Shaft Cage Should be Tight While Flaccid

Most penises like to get hard. Whether they reach full rigidity for penetration or not is a personal thing, but they do like to get harder than they were at-rest for most people.

This matters a lot. Remember, the majority of chastity cages (especially the cheaper ones) are what we call “ball trap cages”. This means they use a strong ring underneath the testicles to “anchor” the shaft’s cage onto the shaft.

In a properly-fitting cage, when your penis starts to get hard, it, well, can’t. There’s no space in the cage. The skin will bulge out around the slats of the cage, and then it will be, quite literally, punished with discomfort as it’s unable to actually expand any further. There’s no room for it to do so. (If you’ve ever started getting erect while your shaft was “tucked” into a spot in your underwear that prohibited it from actually achieving its full length, you have a general idea of how it feels.)

If there’s extra room in the cage where your shaft is, it’s a completely different story. The shaft has room to party! As it continues to grow, it takes up all of the available room inside the chastity cage.

At first thought, this doesn’t seem terrible. BUT you have to remember that this cage is anchored around your balls. So with every centimeter your penis can grow, it pulls the base ring, anchored around your testicles, with it. As your erection pushes the tip of the cage further from the body, it literally chokes off your testicles with the base ring that’s anchored around your scrotum.

Do chastity cages hurt? If your chastity cage doesn’t fit right, it’s almost always this problem!

This is partially because the cheapest chastity cage manufacturers are, again, actually unaware of what the hell they’re making. Cheap chastity cages will have a cage that’s 4 or 5 inches in length. If you’re a shower, this might work, but for the majority of people who are “growers”, this is multiple inches too many. Your penis has way too much real estate to work with. Small chastity cages work better for the majority of chastity cage wearers, but measure before you assume.

When measuring, measure your penis length while it’s flaccid. We don’t want “naked in an icy tundra” flaccid, but we want “comfortably sitting at home eating dinner while thinking about grandma” flaccid. We want the length that your shaft is chilling at most of the time.

This, or even shorter, is the length the cage portion of your chastity cage should be.

I won’t say this will be easier to get into. A properly-fitting cage is like trying to stuff your sausage into a super-small tunnel. Unless you’re used to wearing chastity cages (and uh, honestly, used to the frustration), this is going to be frustrating. I’m sorry.

If you’re turned on by the thought of wearing chastity cages (why else would you wear them in the first place?) and you’re handling your shaft, it’s going to get harder. It may mean sitting around for twenty minutes while you try to deflate your shaft to actually get the darn thing on.

You Haven’t Checked the Cage Itself

We own a lot of chastity cages. I, honestly, have even intentionally bought the cheapest humanly-possible cages I could find for photography purposes.

And you know what I found?

Some of those cheap chastity cages still have sharp edges on the inside! Whether due to poor quality control or simply a disinterest in what they’re selling, these cages haven’t been sanded on the inside, and they’re, quite literally, sharp.

If you’re finding an odd, sharp poking inside of your cage that doesn’t make sense, remove your cage and run your fingers along all of its inner surfaces. Do it in all directions; your dick skin doesn’t only move towards the tip. It also occasionally pulls outwards or to the sides.

Do chastity cages hurt? You may find that your cage literally has sharp edges inside of it.

If that’s the case, you can sand down the interior of the cage yourself, getting it to a point where you can’t feel the sharpness anymore.

It’s unlikely the manufacturer or the seller will do much to help you, but if it’s a relatively-new purchase, you can also reach out to where you bought it.

You’re Not Using Lube

Do chastity cages hurt? Well…they can without lube! Did you know that most long-term chastity cage wearers add lube regularly? Even if you’re only playing for a few hours, lube can make a world of difference in your comfort.

It turns out that super-dry, but lightly moist, skin is great for sticking to metal surfaces. (You’ve sat on metal folding chairs before. ;) ) Your peen is the exact same way with its cage. Without anything making the two surfaces slide against one another, you can get uncomfortable tugging and pulling.

This is why most chastity cage wearers add a little bit of silicone-based lube. Silicone-based lubes are thinner and less “gunky” than their water-based counterparts, and they last a whole lot longer. They’re resistant to being sweated off, and they can add a bit of slickness for hours to come.

(If you own a silicone cage, you can NOT use most silicone-based lubes with it. Instead, stick with water-based lube.)

A little bit of silicone-based lube goes a long way. If you’re just initially sliding yourself into the cage, it helps the bits slide against the internal walls of the cage. If you’ve been wearing the cage for a day already, a bit of lube keeps the skin from gripping and tugging against the friction of the cage.

This can also help with painful rashes from the base ring rubbing your abdominal skin raw. Your skin just isn’t used to wearing a ring against it all the time. Some silicone-based lube between the base ring and your pubic area reduces chafing.

As an added bonus, if you find a silicone-based lube your skin likes, it makes your dick skin feel really soft! It’s like a sexy moisturizer for your bits.

You’re Not Used to Sleeping In It

Turns out, biology decided that penises should get a workout every time you sleep. Blame biology.

This does, however, mean that wearing your chastity cage to bed can come with some unexpected “ouch”. You might be unconscious, but your dick is not, and it has decided it’s time to get a strong erection.

This often wakes you up in pretty intense amounts of pain or discomfort. I can’t say it’s pleasant.

It is, however, something most long-term wearers get used to over time. I’m not sure if scientific studies have been done to determine whether the penis adapts to the smaller space by achieving less erection or whether you start to expect and get used to the discomfort.

Either way, most long-term wearers say that the chastity cage stops waking them up in pain most nights after a couple of weeks of regular wear.

Even the most experienced wearers, however, do occasionally note a particularly painful episode at night sometimes, so be prepared.

From the limited science and medical data we have, urologists do recommend ensuring you sleep without the cage sometimes to allow the penis to fully harden and use all of its available tissue. Realistically, urologists say you should never use a chastity cage in the first place, but if you’re going the harm reduction route, make sure you take the cage off periodically to achieve full hardness. There’s still living tissue in there, and you want to make sure it gets the workout it needs.

All this to say: if you’re only wearing it to bed a single night at your keyholder’s demand, you’re probably going to have a shitty night’s sleep. Doing random one-off wears overnight may be something you need to negotiate because, until you give your body regular overnight time in the cage, it will likely lead to really crappy sleep.

And if you’re planning on long-term wear, give it time because the earliest days will be the crappiest. For most wearers, though, that evens out after a couple weeks, so stick with it if 24/7 wear is your goal.

Either way, you don’t have to wear your chastity cage to bed. Science would say you shouldn’t, actually, to give the penis time to work out. So if interrupting your sleep doesn’t make chastity cage wearing fun, don’t be afraid to decide it’s not for you. You can still have a great time crafting an arousing “put on the chastity cage every morning” routine (similar to the one I have here, if you want).

But…I Already Have a Cage :(

Do chastity cages hurt for you? How do we fix it if you’ve already bought a cage? We have a few options:

• Buy Another Cheap Cage: It’s hard, but not impossible to find a cheap chastity cage that will fit your measurements. Now that you know what your shaft length and ball circumference is, you can rebuy a new, cheaper cage that’s closer to your measurements.
• Buy a Non-Rigid Cage: Let’s assume you’ve bought 3 or 4 cages now, and they all freakin’ suck. A) I’m sorry. That does really suck. B) If you’re open to it, consider using a soft-material chastity cage instead. I’m talking about something like Pouch Buddy. Because these aren’t made from hard materials, they better fit your unique shape, reducing fit problems. They won’t provide the same level of “I can’t touch it” you’ll get from a rigid cage, but they provide gentle restriction and weighted sensations. Most of the softer, stretchy material ones can’t lock, but again, you should always have your key with you anyway, so your “unescapable sex chastity method” is only as unescapable as your sense of honor is.
• Use It Lightly: Okay, buying brand new toys to replace toys you already have isn’t a great option for everyone. If that’s you, you can still play with your chastity cage – just accept that it’s a poor fit for long-term use and keep your key nearby. When you’re feeling like the cage is giving you sharp pain from pulling on your testicles, unlock it and remove it. I recommend this option lightly, though, and highly recommend unlocking and removing the cage at the first sign of any pain. You can do a lot of temporary and permanent damage to the testicles when pressuring the spermatic cords including testicular torsion and worse. So play on the side of caution here.

I want to be clear: a lot of the people you see on social media who are in long-term chastity have an expensive or custom chastity cage. Spending $75 to $200 on a “standard” cage is normal, and customs go from $300 up into the thousands. Don’t compare yourself, and your experience, with a $20 cage to others.

It Does Literally Just Happen

Your ball skin and penis flesh are moving pretty much 24/7. They were designed for micro-movements to make procreation happen. This means that, sometimes, some skin gets stuck somewhere it shouldn’t, and when partnered with a dry chastity cage, the skin just starts tugging on itself as it moves to a new position.

This can be a pretty intense, sharp “ouch”.

Often, simply picking up the entire caged “package” while it’s locked and letting it resettle will solve it.

In other cases, you may need to unlock yourself and release the skin from where it’s caught.

This is why you should always have your own chastity key. Preferably, it should be on you at all times, but if you’re willing to suffer through the rest of your 8 hour work shift in pain to get to the key that’s on your bedside table, you do you.

Any keyholder worth their salt will understand, as long as you don’t have a history of cheating on your keyholding agreement in the first place.

Do chastity cages hurt? Well, they don’t have to. Hopefully this article solved some of your pain points, and if not, please feel free to reach out. I’m always updating all of my femdom advice and BDSM advice with updated information and methods to make sure you can have the best kinky sex possible! :)

Learn More about Chastity

If you want to learn more about the chastity device itself, I want to help. (They’re complicated, frustrating little buggers!) Check out these related articles on Kinky World:

• Male Chastity Training: 6 Weeks from Chastity Device Beginner to 24/7 Chastity Slave
• Christmas-Themed Chastity Game
• BDSM Scenes, Step-by-Step: Chastity Femdom Scene
• Easter-Themed Submissive Tasks
• How to Put on a Cock Cage
• How to Measure for a Chastity Cage (Do chastity cages hurt? Getting the right measurement from the get-go can really reduce problems!)
• Femdom Locktober Calendar
• Menstrual Period Chastity 101

The post Do Chastity Cages Hurt? (and How to Fix It) appeared first on Kinky World.

Brand new in the sex toy space, lovers of travel and discreet storage rejoice! Today’s Lovense Spinel review is going to talk about this portable, handheld sex machine.

The Lovense Spinel is a really creative offering. It isn’t a full-sized sex machine. It doesn’t pretend or try to be. Instead, it’s a sex machine that’s about on-par with a pint glass in size, and if you have deep men’s jeans’ pockets, you could easily keep it on your person without too much effort.

To make this compact size happen, the Lovense Spinel offers small microthrusts – y’know, like jackhammering. It offers an unheard of 1,450 thrusts a minute in its Turbo mode but with a much smaller stroke length (slightly over 1cm in length). The stroke length is NOT adjustable; it is a little jackhammering machine.

Adding to its unique design, the Lovense Spinel is a modular sex machine. Essentially, you take your pint-glass-sized machine, remove the cover, and snap-on proprietary attachments to add your pleasure. Those attachments include a clitoral bump for adding vibrations clitorally, different dildos, a suction cup base, or a handle. (More about its DIY sex machine functionality below.) All insertable and body-touching attachments are made from silicone.

The Lovense Spinel only uses proprietary attachments. You can not use your own dildos or toys at this point. Lovense does not currently sell any additional attachments either. You only get what comes with the machine.

Adding to its portability, the Spinel is rechargeable with a battery life offering up to 240 minutes of playtime. (More than enough for a night’s playtime if you’re on a getaway).

With so many open ports and modulator attachment options, the Spinel is only IPX6 splashproof. Do not submerge it in water, and honestly, keep it away from water as best as possible. It’s too expensive to allow an errant water droplet to accidentally get where it shouldn’t. If you want shower play, point the shower water away from your Spinel before you start playing.

For cam models and long-distance and kinky app play, the Lovense Spinel is also app-controlled. It’s by far the easiest way to control it. It does have two buttons on the sex machine itself, for manual control, if you’re open to reaching onto the machine itself.

Lovense Spinel Review: Your DIY Sex Machine Awaits

Holyshit, I’m amazed by the modular design of the Spinel. Just absolutely amazed. I really hadn’t thought about breaking down a sex machine into so many different interchangeable parts, but it really works for the Spinel.

Your Lovense Spinel comes with:

• The machine itself (plus lid)
• A clitoral bump that can be used on any attachment
• A g-spot-focused attachment that ONLY thrusts
• A straight attachment that thrusts, vibrates, and pre-heats
• A suction cup attachment
• A plastic handle
• Charging cable for the sex machine
• Instruction manual (includes the basics and a QR code to attach the Spinel to the free app)

You simply add (or remove) each attachment or accessory as desired. Want g-spot stimulation while the machine is suction cup’ed to a wall? Add those attachments. Want clitoral and vibrating thrusting that you can handhold in the middle of your bed? You can also add those accessories.

As-is, this is a pretty solid line-up of items. It makes the Spinel pretty solid straight out of the box, but it will make the Spinel phenomenal if they continue to expand this line-up of add-on accessories. I’d love to see more attachments that can vibrate and pre-heat as well as different shapes and thicknesses. The fastening accessories could include a desk mount or a mount built specifically into a sex furniture pillow.

If the Spinel takes off, I’d also like to eventually see a carrying case. The portability of the set up is amazing, but right now, in order to protect the machine and the contact points of the dildo bases, I have to carry it all in its original, bright-ass-pink box. It isn’t the most discreet.

Serious Thrusting Power

I was not expecting a sex machine the size of my hand to have as much power as it does.

It’s strong enough that, while handholding it, it requires an actual strong, firm grip, or it takes itself straight out of my hand. (And it has, multiple times, by surprise. I’m glad I was sitting on the bed.) I grip a pull-up bar in the gym as firmly as I have to hold onto the Spinel when it’s thrusting in its Turbo mode.

While the thrusts it provides aren’t long, they are fast, and Spinel has “jackhammering” pretty much down to a science. These are powerful mini thrusts.

My Lovense Spinel review in video form (below) will show you the actual thrusting speed. It’s ridiculously fast.

I’m equally amazed that it somehow keeps up this pace while inside a body too. It isn’t doing long thrusts, but it jackhammers like nobody’s business. The power behind the jackhammering on this is quite literally, unbelievable, for a machine of this size. Both anally and vaginally, we have yet to lock it up with internal squeezing or orgasms.

It just keeps on chugging along like we’re just an afterthought in its mission to hump the world.

If you can get it nestled against your g-spot or p-spot, you’re in for a world of magical pleasure. It’s a small, millimeter-length movement that will just keep the toy banging up against your innermost spot, again and again. Honestly, I think I might prefer this over full-length sex machine thrusting. The smaller movement means less lube reapplication while still simultaneously pleasuring the nerves at your entrance AND the nerves inside. This might be the type of sex machine my body was made for.

That jackhammering thrusting is the star of the show. However, the long dildo of the Spinel is also equipped with vibrations. They feel solidly good. If used sparingly (so they don’t oversensitize the nerves), they add a “boost” to your pleasure, making everything feel more intense. They are very focused on the dildo itself, and it doesn’t seem to rattle the suction cup base too much.

The vibrations are a bit of icing on the cake. If you’re someone who is really close to orgasm but not quite there, popping the vibrations on can add the bonus pleasure you need to get there.

That being said, when used with the clitoral bump attachment, the vibrations are not strong enough for me to orgasm clitorally. They’re a good add-on to internal pleasure, but getting the clitoral bump to position over my clit while simultaneously still getting the internal dildo where I want it has proved difficult. (It’s the rabbit vibrator problem as old as time.) This could potentially be fixed down the line with differently-shaped clitoral bump attachments available for purchase, but even then, I didn’t find the machine vibrations strong enough for clitoral orgasm. I’d put them on the lower end of moderate in intensity.

(Which I’m fine with. I want my sex machine to dedicate its resources to thrusting power, and the Lovense Spinel does that in spades. Seriously, I am astounded that this machine doesn’t lock up or freeze. Sex machines at twice the cost have more lock-ups than the Spinel.)

It’s important to note though:

If vibrations are important to you, only the straight dildo is equipped with vibrations and heating functionality. The g-spot curved dildo (which I would argue is the best attachment for the Spinel’s jackhammering abilities) does NOT have the internal pins that would allow it to vibrate or heat. This was a disappointing choice on Lovense’s part, and I’m hoping they offer additional attachments down the line that will help fill this hole.

Controlling the Lovense Spinel

This is where I want to point out a very big downside with the Spinel’s DIY sex machine design: there is no physical remote.

Virtually every other sex machine on the market offers a physical remote that allows you to control the machine. This allows you to get into a comfortable position and control how intensely the sex machine takes you to town.

The Spinel DOES NOT have this. There is no additional remote control. If you don’t want to pull out your cell phone, you must touch the buttons on the Spinel machine itself. If you’re in doggy style or other complicated sex positions, this requires being able to reach the machine in the middle of play.

I highly recommend using your cell phone, paired with the Spinel and the Lovense app, to control the sex machine. It makes this so much more comfortable. That being said, some people don’t like their cell phone in their hands while trying to get off. If that’s you, make sure you plan out what sex positions you want to use it in AND ensure you have the flexibility/comfort to reach onto the side of the machine itself in order to change the settings mid-play.

Now that I’ve brought this to your attention, this particular sticking point may be enough to decide to “upgrade” to the Lovense Mini Sex Machine instead. The Mini offers a physical, corded remote that will allow you to control the thrusting while maintaining your lounging position. The Spinel does not. With the Spinel, you either use a cell phone or touch the machine itself. The Mini’s higher price provides a physical corded remote or cell phone control.

Lovense Spinel Anal Use?

The Spinel product page specifically states that the Spinel is for vaginal use only. My guess would be that the “twist to lock” attachments lack a flared base, and they’re concerned about the attachments sliding off. (Flared bases built into the dildos would have solved this.)

Since we do both anal play and vaginal play with our sex machines and we’re experienced with getting “oopsie” toys out of the butt in an emergency, we did spend some Lovense Spinel review time trying it in the butt.

It worked flawlessly. I’m used to sex machines locking up when used anally, but somehow, it didn’t do it once. Through multiple p-spot orgasms, the machine kept thrusting and it never unsuctioned itself off the wall either. It isn’t like we were using it on its Turbo mode either; most of our anal use kept the Spinel in the 30% to 80% thrusting intensity capacity. Under 20%, it didn’t seem to have enough power to really “push through” the anal muscles, but once it had enough power, it thrusted perfectly fine.

At no point in any part of our usage have either of the dildo attachments unlocked and come off the sex machine. It may be more likely down the line after the “click in” fasteners are a big more worn in. For now, we usually have to clean the dildo of lube if we want to be able to get a firm enough grip to actually remove it from the machine; the lock-on fastening mechanism is VERY snug.

I do not recommend you do the same; as the manufacturer states the Spinel should not be used anally, please heed their warning. I am only sharing my experience after we discussed and planned for the potential risks that anal use might involve.

Let’s Talk Turbo Mode and It’s Hilarious Intensity

If you want reasonable speeds, the Spinel has those. It has 4 different speed modes, and the first mode is a normal, reasonable thrusting speed. They go up in intensity from there.

But it also has “Turbo Mode” – which is like the Finals Round of bull riding of sex machines.

Activating Turbo Mode shouldn’t be nearly as easy as it is to do. For most sex toys, if you press and hold any given function button, it will turn off that function. That is NOT the case with the Spinel. It actually does the opposite. If you press and hold the thrusting button, it actually goes into a 30-second Turbo mode which is the fastest setting it has. (That’s, uh, 1,450 thrusts per minute)

This is simultaneously hilarious and terrifying. I’ve done it no less than 10 times just while testing and photographing this DIY sex machine for my Lovense Spinel review, but it’s worse when it happens after sex.

Like when I had had my orgasm and was done playing with the sex machine, and I wanted it to turn off. Instead of turning off, I went into ULTRA STRONG mode, which led to a frantic scramble away from the sex toy.

You won’t run into this manual button challenge if you’re using the Lovense cell phone remote, but it is a problem I hit, constantly, when using the manual buttons.

This is definitely a problem unique to people who regularly play with sex toys, though – including Lovense’s other toys which turn on and off with press-and-hold functionality.

I really would have preferred the Turbo function to be a separate button (like FemmeFunn’s design does it) or a quick double-press instead of the press-and-hold. If you plan to regularly use the Spinel, though, you’ll eventually get used to this particular quirk. Probably. Or you’ll die by sex machine thrusting.

Attachment Options

The Spinel uses proprietary attachments. In the future, they might offer something that allows you to attach your own, but for the moment, the Spinel only offers two attachment options, and both attachments are included.

Judging by the two that are included, I’d say that Lovense plans on offering “options” for the future.

The g-spot attachment, for example, is a plain attachment. It snaps onto the Spinel, but it is lacking in any of the internal golden contact points. This means the g-spot attachment only thrusts in and out. It does not have any added functionality.

The realistic/textured attachment, however, has golden contact probes inside its base. These match up with the golden contacts on the Spinel machine itself, and they transmit power for additional functionality. The realistic/textured attachment thrusts, but it also can be pre-heated AND provides vibrations as well.

For future functionality, I would assume that any non-probed attachments will be on the cheaper end, but they’ll only snap onto the machine for thrusting. Any attachment with the golden contact points will be more expensive (since they have more hardware built into their shaft), but they’ll offer more functionality, possibly including pre-heating and vibration along with the thrusting.

ANY of the (current) attachments can instantly have additional clitoral contact with the included clitoral bump. This is, quite literally, a basic silicone ring that slides overtop of the base of the attachment. It has no functionality or hardware built into it. It’s literally a firm lump of silicone.

This ring feels the transfer of vibrations from the attachment it’s wrapped on, though, and it provides some light clitoral sensation. Since it’s also there, it (literally) provides clitoral friction as well (like a grinder). Where the base shaft design provides zero additional friction for the clit, this base attachment adds some material so something can touch the clitoris.

Since the clitoral bump requires no electricity or extra functionality, it’s just kinda “there”, adding friction or transmitting vibrations from the attachment itself. It does not have any powered functions of its own.

The included clitoral bump fits perfectly on both included attachments. I have no idea if this is the “standard” size of attachments in the future and whether it’ll fit on those.

It’s a snug fit on the dildo, but if you add it anywhere else up the shaft (like trying to use it as a depth limiter), it will eventually slide itself back down the full shaft to the base. Once at the base of the shaft of the attachment, it hits the base of the machine, and it won’t go any lower. It stays very securely at the base of the attachment while riding the sex machine.

Portability in Spades

Something I really love about the Spinel is its portability.

The “machine” itself is about the size of a thermos cup. It even includes a lid to help protect the contact points! The machine is bright, with pastel colors, so it isn’t going to “pass” for discreet, but it is much, much, much smaller than any other portable sex machine on the market – both before AND after the dildos are added onto it.

All of the attachments are proprietary, so they’re easily removable and snap onto the machine in seconds. This means your entire “sex machine” set-up, when broken down into its individual pieces, can easily fit on the bottom of any purse or backpack while leaving the whole bag available for other items.

For kinky people who travel often, this is essentially a god-send.

Just look at the size difference here if you can even FIND the tiny Spinel in this giant sea of sex machines:

When disassembled and tossed into bags, the machine has a cap, the mounting accessories are sturdy, and the clitoral bump and g-spot dildo have nothing fancy on them. The only thing I’m worried about would be the golden contact probes inside the “realistic” dildo attachment. Those contact probes may be sensitive to scratches, and a scratch may disrupt how well it’s able to provide the heating and vibrating functionality. If you can toss that realistic attachment into a plastic baggie (it fits in a Quart size), I think you’d be good to just toss all these pieces into any bag for travel.

The only thing really “missing” is an easy travel case to keep all the pieces nicely together. I’d even consider purchasing it as an add-on accessory for the Spinel. Right now, all of the Lovense Spinel accessories come packed nicely (with foam cut-outs) in their original retail box. This box is surprisingly sturdy, and it definitely works for easy storage.

It also, however, is bright-ass pink and announces “SEX MACHINE” all over it.

If you toss the branded box into another bag, it’d work, but it’s a large box. The box won’t fit into a mini backpack. It’d fit into the bottom of a regular backpack or standard tote, but I’d say it’d take up at least 1/3rd of the room in either bag.

I’d love to see a discreet carrying case for the Spinel that offers extra room to add the (hopefully) new attachments that Lovense will create for this DIY sex machine.

Lovense Spinel Review: How Well Do the Parts Swap Out?

There’s nothing more frustrating than wanting to play with your sex toy, but you’re banging up your fingers trying to swap out the toys.

I’m happy to report that it’s a non-issue throughout my Lovense Spinel review period (and beyond).

The dildo attachments twist in and out with ease. They’re a bit fussy when they’re covered in lube (I recommend a non-lubed hand to get a good grip), but they are a simple twist to the side, and they come out smoothly. Zero issues. I can easily swap dildos mid-play without a hint of frustration.

The mounting accessories are a bit more finicky. I appreciate them being a bit more secure (instead of dropping the sex machine on the floor with a loose connection), but they definitely require two dry hands and a bit of patience. Getting either the handle or the suction cup mount onto the Spinel takes a bit of time and muscle. Removing it takes the same. I wouldn’t try to swap out the mounting hardware mid-use without a nice break to wash your hands and start dry. It can be a bit frustrating even before I play to get the Spinel onto the mounting hardware.

That being said, I’m unsure if it’s because the mounts and the mounting point are all still brand new. The security of the plastic lock might soften up over time and use. I don’t need it to soften up too much, but it’s very, very firm at the moment.

So if you want to swap up dildos and insertables mid-use, it’ll go smoothly. Swapping up the mounting system is a bit stickier, and it requires a lot more strength to get those to twist out. Either way, anything you attach to the Spinel is a “twist out” attachment that can be removed and swapped out to really make this modular sex machine shine.

That Suction Cup!

If you’ve been around Kinky World for a bit, you know that I have a mostly-hate relationship with suction cups. They can work, but most of them aren’t so solid. And it’s frustrating when your dildo just keeps falling off the wall mid-scene.

The Lovense Spinel‘s suction cup is astronomically powerful.

Like, I could not get it back off the wall. At all. Even my partner struggled, and we both spent a good ten minutes trying to get it off the wall.

And this wasn’t glass; I had suction cup’ed it to a textured wooden wall more as a joke than anything else. But it actually STAYED just fine. It stayed on that textured wooden wall all throughout my filming for this Lovense Spinel review and our subsequent play session with it there.

Never in a million years would I have assumed a suction cup would actually stay on a textured cabin wall.

I will say this: The suction cup power is partially due to an adhesive that it arrives with. In addition to the suction cup itself, the suction cup is covered with an adhesive. I assume, over time, it will gradually get less sticky. (There are adhesives out there- especially in craft stores – you could add to readhere it if you want)

This does mean that you’ll want to be careful where you initially adhere this DIY sex machine the first couple of times you use it. You might accidentally leave glue on the surface, or if it’s paint or a delicate surface, you might take some of the surface with you when you remove the suction cup.

It luckily did not take any of the wood finish with it when I removed it, but we did have to wash some of the adhesive off the wall.

Subsequent Lovense Spinel review tests have shown that the suction capabilities calmed down a bit. It’s still not easy to get off of what you place it on, but it isn’t a fight to the death. We’ve never had it fall off the surface where we suction cupped it. (This is unbelievable to me as I’m someone who constantly struggles with suction cup dildos.)

As the adhesive has slowly worn off over uses, though, we find that it sticks best to plastics, glasses, or untextured, glossy surfaces. Since it put it at the perfect height for playing, we’ve been really fond of attaching it to the side of a plastic storage tote. It makes it easy to do doggy style anywhere in your house while the glossy surface holds really well. Toss the tote on the bed for on-bed play or leave it on the floor to use it anywhere. We’ve even put the tote on the couch.

If we were going to play with a wooden wall (or other odd space again), we’d probably think about trying to re-cover the suction cup in an adhesive. I’m still shook by how well that thing held on a random-ass textured wooden surface. I probably won’t shut up about it for years.

A Quick Note about Charging

The charging port is located under a pink silicone tab covering that hides the mounting attachment point.

This little silicone covering protects the USB-C port (yay!) from dust, lint, and lube during use.

The “cover”, however, is not attached to the Spinel sex machine in any way, shape, or form. If you’re loopy from a powerful orgasm, it’s pretty easy to lose that little pink silicone cover – especially if you’re traveling with the Spinel and can’t just hunt under your own kitchen counter to figure out where it went.

The Lovense Spinel includes a second pink silicone cover in the box. Juuuuust in case.

But try to keep track of the pink silicone cover. It helps protect the USB-C port, and it’s relatively small, lightweight, and easy to lose if you aren’t careful.

Lovense Spinel Video Review

Want to see the Spinel in action? I would too. After all, the coolest part of a sex machine is the actual movement of the sex machine.

I created an entire Lovense Spinel review in video to help showcase some of its cooler functionalities (and attempt to show you the noise level):

It’s Also App Compatible

As if the rest of these features weren’t already unbelievable, the Spinel is also cell phone app compatible. It can be wirelessly connected to the Lovense app for hands-free, long-distance control of the sex machine anytime you want.

Spinel is controlled by the same award-winning Lovense app that controls the rest of their Bluetooth sex toys. I’m going to be honest: Lovense is, by-far, my favorite remote control sex toy app on the market.

That same love shines through with the Spinel as well. The machine responds to commands in seconds. I’d actually say it responds better than many of their other toys since there isn’t an occasional delay due to a toy being inside someone. The antenna for the machine is in the body of the machine itself, a part that stays outside of anyone’s orifice.

While you can use the Spinel DIY sex machine manually with the buttons on the machine itself, it can also be used with the app. The app unlocks a lot more ways to play. (It’s the same options as any Lovense sex toy, but if you’re new to the Lovense ecosystem, lemme introduce you.)

The easy-to-navigate app will let you:

• Control the Spinel with drags of your own fingertips
• Offer control of the Spinel to anyone else online who also has the app
• Participate in Lovense’s occasional “worldwide orgies” that they like to do
• Sync the machine to audio books or music (it uses an audio equalizer, so it won’t necessarily sync only to the erotica parts that have thrusting. That’d be cool though.)
• Sync the thrusting to any ambient noise in the room you’re in, like if you’re playing loud bass through an expensive sound system or a sex movie
• Sync the toy to compatible sex games available on the app

The Lovense toys, Spinel included, have always connected for me flawlessly. That’s the case here too. The biggest annoyance is that the Lovense app always freakin’ signs me out, and I have to re-find my password to log in before I can use the toy. That was the case here as well.

But once I have that log in, the toy connects and controls flawlessly. Goddamn, I love the Lovense app functionality. No frustration, just fun.

Final Thoughts: Lovense Spinel Review

Thanks for reading my Lovense Spinel review!

The post Lovense Spinel Review appeared first on Kinky World.

Sitting around, sipping drinks, and discussing things that matter with our lover(s) or friends. Doesn’t that sound like an amazing afternoon? Turns out, those fantastic afternoons aren’t just options for the non-kinky; you can easily turn this into an opportunity for loving femdom cocktail service.

Being able to provide sustenance for people you care about can be a way to show you care. Not only do you get to provide pleasure between their thighs, but you can also provide pleasure between their lips as they sip on something you’ve made just for them.

I get it though; it’s really daunting to think about ritualizing beverage service. Let me give you everything you need to know about femdom cocktail service, so it becomes less-terrifying to think about.

(This article was written by me – hi! – not an AI bot. It’s directed at submissives who want to impress their lover with cocktail service. Femdoms, feel free to read it yourselves to get inspiration for what YOU want or pass it onto your submissive partners to let them know what you want.)

The Basics of Cocktail Service

Turns out, cocktail service and bartending are an established industry, and we can look at professional standards to get a good idea of how to provide good femdom cocktail service.

From “Bartending: A Professional’s Guide to the Industry” by Adam W. Freeth, the workflow of a professional bartender should look like:

• Customer approaches the bar.
• Bartender acknowledges the customer whilst wiping down the bar and placing a napkin in front of him.
• Bartender greets the customer and asks what they would like.
• Customer asks for a bottle of beer.
• Bartender suggests a range of beers.
• Customer asks for one of the suggested beers.
• Bartender commends the customer for their choice and asks if they’d like a glass for the beer.
• Customer says “yes please”.
• Bartender asks the customer if they would like anything else.
• Customer says “no thanks”.
• Bartender takes a cold bottle of beer from the fridge and presents the label to the customer for approval. Then provides a clean glass.
• Bartender tells the customer how much it will be.
• Customer hands the bartender a note.
• Bartender calls out the note, tenders it, and gives the customer the change.
• Bartender completes the order by thanking the customer.

Note all of the back-and-forth with the attention to detail (label first) and knowledge (knowing what beers you have). Note that this interaction also focuses on making sure the customer has everything they need to enjoy the drink after you’re done.

From that same book, your cocktail service can be described in a few different “phases”. These phases (with some paraphrased tips) are:

• The Smile: Nobody wants to order drinks from a bar with a grumpy bartender. Make sure you look like you want to be there.
• The Welcome: Greet each customer within 20-30 seconds of them entering the venue. Even if you’re busy, a simple nod or smile with eye contact will work. Nobody wants to think you’re too busy to get good service.
• The Acknowledgement: Actively acknowledge the customer, even if you’re busy, with words and a menu/napkin, if applicable.
• The Order: Make sure you get the whole order for full satisfaction. Things like “Can I get you anything else?” will make this faster.
• The Sale: Upsell or use your knowledge to recommend accompanying items. An exact phrase from the book is: “Some bartenders simply take orders whereas professional bartenders offer service that sells.”
• The Making: Prepare the drink in front of the customer as best as possible as efficiently as possible. If providing multiple drinks, pour the drinks in order of complexity for faster service. For example, beers come before wines which come before simple mixed drinks. Complicated mixed drinks are usually done last.
• Style and Entertainment: Develop your personality as a bartender to set yourself apart. This can be done in the smallest of ways from the way you present a beer to the way you shake or pour your drinks. It can also be more extravagant with bar tricks, light humor, or the occasional flair (those fancy flips and over-the-top pours you’ve seen. Here are some simple ones.). An exact quote from the book: “To deliver impeccable service, you must ensure that the guest leaves feeling delighted that you took the standard of service that one step further”.
• Thank You: Always remember to thank your customer.
• Customer Care: Once the drinks are served, your job isn’t over. Part of drink service is being a friendly face. Remember your customer’s drink for future orders if possible. Anticipate your customer’s needs, and make sure to offer a new drink before your customer’s current drink is empty. The standard rule of thumb is to offer when a drink is no more than 1/4th full – and ideally remember the customer’s original drink to ask if they’d prefer the same one. (An exact quote: “A customer’s experience in your bar is largely your responsibility.”)

There are a few more notes about when the customers leave and how to make return customers, but, well, for femdom cocktail service, it will take care of itself through how enjoyable this experience is. ;)

Remember: cocktails are delicious and fun, but the goal here is the elevated service and experience she gets to receive from you. Don’t rush the experience in favor of shoving out more drinks.

Alcohol is Not Required

Femdom cocktail service is an experience; it does not have to include mind-altering substances.

If your femdom doesn’t imbibe in alcohol or just doesn’t want any today, mocktails, THC cocktails, or even tea can always be an alternative to drinks that include alcohol.

The alcohol is not the important part here; the important part is the dedicated, attentive service you’re providing.

Elevating Cocktail Service for a Personal Relationship

Turns out, you’re probably not dating, kneeling, or fucking your bartender at the local brewery. And if you are, even if you meet that bartender at their brewery, they’ll need to be professional at the bartop with drink orders coming in.

Since we’re at home, we can do things with our femdom cocktail service that might not be possible at professional establishments, elevating our service even further.

This includes:

Taking Your Time: You don’t have a line of 30 people waiting to order a drink. You have one. You can (and should!) take as much time as you need to make the experience feel as luxurious as possible.

Personalizing Your Glassware: You can cater every inch of this experience to your femdom’s preferences. Do you want to gift her a unique, fancy glass that you’ll serve her cocktails in? Can you use a garnish pick that has a fun, playful charm that matches her interests?

Staying in a Submissive Mindset: You’re here, and you’re following the instructions to make a new drink, and it’s easy to get stuck in the procedures. Take a second before serving your drink or interacting with your femdom to remember that this activity is about showing your reverence, service, and submission.

Ritualizing the Serve: This is where you can have a lot of fun. The drink is done, and it’s time to present it. Why not take that time to create a ritual with your femdom that forces you both to slow down and actively recognize the experience that’s being had? I’m talking about things like an expectation to:

• Wear (or not wearing) specific clothing or trinkets any time you serve a drink.
• Always serve from her left or right side.
• Always serve the drink while kneeling. (If knees are occasionally painful to kneel on, we go with the expectation that he will actively attempt to lower his stature lower than hers within his comfort level. This may just include sitting on the couch next to your femdom instead of kneeling all the way down.)
• Serve the drink with a specific hand placement or with it on a serving tray.
• Purchase a toy from an online adult sex shop that only gets worn or used during your femdom cocktail service. Something remote controlled, like this, can give her an easy way to pleasure you with the press of a button.
• Repeat an affirmation or oath of service while presenting the drink to her.
• List off all of the ingredients of your drink, requesting her acceptance of the drink you made for her.
• Garnish the drink in front of her for showmanship, even if it requires you drag all of the ingredients over to where she is.

Only you and your femdom know what you both want this femdom cocktail service ritual to look like. While you can go all-out with a formalized, 10-minute experience (and if that’s what you want, go for it!), I only caution against adding things for the sake of adding things. Your ritual should be personalized to the two of you with components that reinforce your dynamic. There’s no point in making the submissive kneel if it simply hurts the submissive’s knees, and the femdom doesn’t care if the drink is served from standing or not.

Taking “Payment”: While part of the professional bartender includes taking cash or card in exchange for the drink, you two, presumably, aren’t doing that at home. However, you can do this in any way you both would find fun. Play money? Cash money? Intimate touches? A number of spanks? Additional days in chastity for every drink? (We’re particularly fond of letting him “earn” handjob edging from me while I sip on aforementioned cocktail.)

Keep in mind that we’re doing femdom cocktail service, so she will not be indebted to you for any reason. ;) If you actually want to turn things on their heels, feel free to charge the submissive a “payment” for the honor of getting to serve her.

Ways to Make Femdom Cocktail Service Kinkier ;)

I want to start this off by restating that you’re here to serve your femdom cocktails. This is a service you are providing to your partner for their benefit. This is an important distinction. By its literal definition, female domination is about the woman getting what she wants. If she just wants to be served cocktails while vegging out in front of a TV show after a long day’s work, that is what your femdom cocktail service should look like.

When the energy is there and when she wants to make it kinkier, though, there are some fun ways we can add kink. First up:

Offer, Don’t Demand

Providing a service is about her dominance and her enjoyment. Just like I note in my femdom foot massage article, any additional sex or kink on top of the service should be at her request.

We can make this a bit more likely and still respect her wishes by making it as fun, seamless, and stress-free as possible.

This looks like:

• Gathering all of the necessary items ahead of time. This way, if she says “yes”, you’re not relying on her to think about or go gather all of the items. Sometimes, the act of having to grab everything and interrupt her relaxation can be a reason for saying no.
• Presenting it as an act of service – not demanding it. This looks like:
  • –If you want to wear a plug while serving, you state “Ma’am, I’d like to make sure you can summon me whenever you need me. I have a vibrating plug with a wireless remote ready, and if you’d like, I can insert the plug and hand you the remote. Would that please you, Mistress?”
  • –If you want to have your balls smacked around, you state: “There is a riding crop in the other room, and I’ve really been missing the feel of your aggressive touch where I’m most sensitive. If I get the crop for you, would you make sure I stay in my place with slaps to my balls when you think I need them?”
  • –If you want her to peg you, you state: “My body is always available for you, and I miss feeling your body pressed against mine. If I get the harness and everything ready, would you be willing to wear it while you drink your next cocktail? I’ll slide onto your lap and do all the work.”
  • –If you want to have your chastity cage, you state: “Ma’am, may I cage your cock within a chastity cage under your supervision?”
• Making it as stress-free as possible. Notice how all of these examples have you doing the bulk of the work? That’s the point. Femdom cocktail service is about pleasing your dominant – not about providing her a few drinks with expectations she’ll “pay you back” by doing the sex thing you want. Instead, focus on her relaxation and enjoyment, and you’ll find that she gets much more invested in keeping you in your place when she doesn’t have to think about how much extra work it entails for her.

An important note: if she says no, she says no. That’s a “no”. You are allowed to ask a follow-up question like “Is there anything I can do that would make X more interesting for you tonight?”, but if she just isn’t feeling it, let it go. You can always request that activity on another night, and you risk destroying the entire relaxed, sexual atmosphere that you’ve been building up if you won’t accept her dominance at face-value.

Sometimes, though, the answer really is “Eh, the idea of putting on a harness sounds annoying”, and you might be able to offer an alternative (like strapping a foot harness onto her foot to ride a dildo there instead).

Add Bondage

A la The Secretary movie, it turns out you can do a lot of service activities while erotically bound.

For easy movement, you can simply wear cuffs on your wrists and ankles and place a collar around your neck. This offers the feel of kinky bondage gear without impacting a bit of service. (Make sure to clean your wrist cuffs promptly if any spills get on them.)

For more difficult movement, you can start adding in chains or spreader bars that limit your reach. Nipple clamps could be placed on your nipples that secure around the O-ring on your collar. A cock and ball tug or leash can be added.

Keep in mind: your bondage should entertain her without staining the carpet. There are some positions and gear that will be too likely to cause spills or will affect your ability to actually provide her service. Think things through before you request or wear something. First and foremost, this is an act of service for your dominant. Second to that is the fun of making it kinkier.

Request Mental Bondage Instead

What are you supposed to do when you aren’t actively providing femdom cocktail service? Well, it depends on you and your dominant woman. One easy kinky option takes advantage of the simple act of mental bondage.

After you’ve served a drink, your domme can command you to stand in a certain place or maintain a certain position. This can be as kinky or as basic as you both would like. She can command you to stand up against the wall and wait, or she might command you to sit next to her on the couch, only able to get up if she grants permission.

You can also use your body as her own personal furniture. You could be commanded to stand next to her chair, flat palm out, ready to “hold” her drink as her personal table whenever she isn’t sipping it. Punishments could be in order if you spill a drop of her drink or are unable to continue to function as her end table.

Add Ignore Kink Play

Does the idea of being a literal servant, invisible to your partner, sound kinda hot to you? If so, think of yourself as a seen-but-not-heard butler, ready to provide the service your femdom wants. Make this very clear to your femdom; most women were socialized their entire lives to be polite to wait staff. This isn’t a bad thing; it’s the backbone to a society that doesn’t suck.

However, if you’re turned on by a kinda-mean Domme who uses you for your service and then ignores your presence entirely, let your Domme know ahead of time. Most femdoms have things they would definitely do if given the chance alone, and they may relish the opportunity to give it a try.

This is also where you’d talk about any particular preferences you’d have for an extra-mean Domme. If you want to be actively talked down to instead of being ignored, bring this up with your Domme.

Consider “Rewards”

I really, really love playing with femdom cocktail service that includes “rewards”. I tell my submissive to head to the kitchen and bring me a drink I’ll enjoy.

If he succeeds, I’ll let him stand next to my spot on the couch while I sip it while I edge him over and over.

If I don’t like the drink, well, he gets nothing. I don’t usually add punishments or anything “mean”; he just doesn’t get anything nice.

Especially if your femdom would like to experiment with new flavors or wants to “encourage” you to learn how to perfect her favorite cocktail, this can be fun.

Our femdom dynamic includes a lot of premature ejaculation and edging play, but if yours doesn’t, anything that is a “reward” to the submissive can be used here. Things like:

• Allowing the submissive to touch or massage her feet.
• Letting the server have a sip of her drink.
• Allowing the submissive to wear specific lingerie or fetishwear for the remainder of the evening.
• Feeding the submissive one of their favorite treats by hand.
• Allowing the submissive out of a chastity cage.

It’s all up to your dynamic. If it’s something the submissive partner would enjoy, it can act as a reward for a job well done.

Add Some Kinky Femdom Cocktail Service Challenges for the Server

If the femdom (like myself) has a bit of a cruel streak that manifests itself in watching the submissive struggle, encourage her to let out her creativity.

With every drink, the submissive can be challenged to do something different, providing entertainment for her and some physical and mental challenges for the server.

These challenges could include things like:

• Serve me my drink without using your hands.
• You’re not allowed to use a blender to make this blended drink. Figure it out.
• I expect my orange slice garnish to be exactly 0.15″ in thickness. Bring me my ruler.
• You are expected to take 10 minutes to make my next drink and not a second less. Put on a show for me.
• Mix my next drink entirely naked.
• Mix my next drink entirely naked. The drink must be made on the floor, and you must bend over to make it.

Add Your Fetish Gear of Choice

Into chastity? Into latex? Into feminization? Diapers?

None of those activities requires anything from the femdom. If you want to wear them to make your cocktail service feel more sexual, you can 100% do that without impacting the service you provide to her.

If interaction regarding your fetish wear of choice is important to you, try to make it easy for her to interact at the level that’s fun for her. This may mean leaving the chastity key on the end table for her or wearing clothing that leaves your chastity cage easy to poke and prod. This may mean keeping a bottle of silicone lube and gloves nearby in case she wants to stroke and shine parts of your latex body. This might mean laying out a few feminized outfits you’ve put together and allowing her to pick and choose her favorite.

Tips for Femdom Cocktail Service for an Entire Party

Ooooh, you lucky submissive you! Have you been tasked with providing femdom cocktail service for an entire group of people? While this might be fantasy-fulfilling, it also comes with responsibilities. That is, you’re expected to provide a high level of service, lest you embarrass your femdom in front of her friends.

Some tips for providing femdom cocktail service for entire party:

The Least Sexual Person is Your Baseline

Yes, I know you’ve probably had fantasies about serving a room full of women while naked, each one requiring you to serve her orally after you serve the drink. (Or insert other fantasy you’ve had here)

The thing to know, however, is that any level of sexuality or play should be based around the person who is least comfortable with it. i.e. If you have someone here who’d be down for an orgy, but you also have someone who just started in femdom last week and is feeling a little out of her depths, all of the group dynamics should max out at what the new person is comfortable with.

This is a basic tenant to good party hosting. If we go with the comfort level of the orgy-haver, we’ll provide an uncomfortable experience for the other party-goer, and that’s not how we make a safe, welcoming space.

Discuss Expectations with Attendees

With that in mind, know who is attending your party, and know what they’re comfortable with. Even if this sounds a bit like logistical work, it can be helpful to think of it selfishly: if you know how comfortable your attendees are with various activities, it can help you make a realistic fantasy in your head.

You may consider a formal request for attendees to answer a list of activities they would (or would not) be comfortable with. Depending on where you think this dinner party may go, you can make up a list of potential activities. This might look like things like:

• Receiving footrubs
• Being the center of attention
• Touching another person of the same gender
• Being bound to another person of the same gender
• etc.

Ask each attendee to state whether they’re comfortable with these activities. This way, you encourage your attendees to think about what they are (or aren’t!) okay with while they’re sober and not under the influence of any alcohol. Keep these lists nearby for the party itself, but also use this information to plan out how the party may go.

These discussions should take place privately. If you’re unable to do them ahead of time as recommended, I’d recommend pulling attendees away from the party, one-by-one, to have a quick chat about what your plans are for the evening and whether they’re okay with them. Discuss modifications as needed or adjust your plans entirely.

You should also make sure to note any allergies or preferred/hated alcohols. You will also want to know if anyone is not drinking to ensure you respect their requests.

Bonus Points: While you’re doing this, take a few seconds to ask each attendee their favorite drink. Once you know, do a bit of pre-party research and practice making a few. This way, you’ll have the ingredients on hand, can “wow” them with the fact that you remember their favorite, and you’ll be able to make a decent version of it.

Discuss Femdom Cocktail Service Expectations with Your Domme

Once you know what the attendees are comfortable with, you can take this information to your femdom (if applicable), and sort further from there.

One attendee might want you to grovel and kiss her feet after serving a drink, but if your femdom doesn’t want to see that behavior from you, it’s not going to happen. Your partner (or “owner”) takes priority here, as the last thing you want is to come away from your femdom cocktail service party in a big fight with a person you care about.

As sexual spaces can escalate with the mix of power and sexuality, have a talk with your Domme about what they are (or aren’t) okay with. Kissing? You becoming under another person’s service for the night? You making your femdom’s favorite, created-just-for-them cocktail for another person? You using your femdom’s favorite rare alcohol to make a drink for someone else?

This may also look like discussing or thinking about your own boundaries too. In many femdom party settings, you will not be the only submissive. Others may be in attendance. Are you comfortable touching other submissives? Being bound to one? Making out with one? Other sexual activities?

With alcohol flowing and women in a safe space to get “anything” they want, sometimes the commands can start to look a bit like ordering around submissives like playthings. Usually, this is exactly the vibe most submissives like, but it’s only up to a point: you need to know where your boundaries are and ensure you don’t go past them. Decide these boundaries before you’re drinking.

Confirm Ingredients Before Pouring Drinks

If you’re an experienced mixologist, you might think nothing about pouring a Pina Colada after a femdom says she wants “something fruity”.

Especially if you’re doing femdom cocktail service for a group of people you’re not intimately familiar with, it can really help out to confirm ingredients in a cocktail before you pour it. This does a few things:

• It ensures you respect allergens and don’t accidentally cause someone stomach aches or pain. Citric acids can aggravate those with heart burn or stomach ulcers, and some people are allergic or avoid milk or cream based drinks.
• It reduces waste. If someone doesn’t like a drink, you want it to be because they just didn’t like the mix – not because they hate bourbon and had no idea you prefer to pour your Old Fashioneds with bourbon. (Don’t assume everyone is a huge cocktail aficionado.)
• It makes it more likely your femdom will like the drink. You’re doing all of this femdom cocktail service to please a group of women. You want them to remember your service and drink-making fondly.
• It lets you show off your knowledge of what you’re doing. Okay, this isn’t as important as preventing an allergic reaction, but it makes you and your femdom (if applicable) look good, so really, take the win when it’s easy.

You can use fun, service-focused language to make this happen too. Think something like:

• “Yes, Ma’am. The Kinky Orgasm drink includes Bailey’s, Amaretto, Kahlua, and milk. I also like to top it with strawberries for your pleasure. Is that what you’d like me to do?”
• “Let me get that for you. A Vodka Tonic will have your vodka, tonic water, and lime. Is that okay? We have Tito’s and Smirnoff. Do you have a preference, my lady?”
• “Oh, you want something that’s cherry forward? I would recommend a Dirty Shirley. It has vodka, lime juice, Sprite, grenadine, and cherry syrup. I’ll also top it with a few cherries. May I get that for you, ma’am?”

Updated: March 2026, October 2025, May 2025, April 2025.

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