Kirbie Goes to Hollywood

Let me tell you about Mindy Kaling

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 08:09:00 +0000

BUY THIS NOW!

Are you there Mindy? It's me, Kirbie. Hi. I kind of decided you and I were probably conjoined twins, having shared a brain (and a limb or two), but somehow managed to separate and live two distinctly different lives... with different ethnicities.

So here's what's up. Minds, (do you mind if I call you that?), for those of you who don't know her, is THE SH*T. I don't know her either, but I "know" her through her book that I happened to recommend to the whole free world on Twitter and subsequently everyone loves me for. What can I say, I set trends when it comes to book recommendations. Anyway, her book made me laugh, made me cry, made me go, "SWEET BABY JESUS. THANK YOU! THANK YOU!"

For instance, the story about the guy she was supposed to go on the date with whom she primped so much for and he ditched her over text? That's a Mentervention if I've ever heard one. And the story about her college days and living in a box (pretty much) in NYC while trying to make it big? Soooo inspirational, Minds!

Here are a few highlights from the book that really just touched my heart (and my funny bone). Like this one:

"So things were coming together nicely for me to embark on a full-fledged depression." -- After failing at life before getting a real job. I felt like this for two years when I moved out here. Still do, sometimes (not often. I don't need Lexapro or anything, sheesh).

She talks about how she would have an alias for hotels when she really hits it big -- hers being Gwendolyn Trundlebed, mine being Ariette Wintour, which I've had planned since like junior year of college (Molly can spot me on that one). She mentions how, as a nanny, she would chat for hours with the little girl about which member of *NSYNC they'd want to marry -- and they always picked J.C. ME TOO, MINDY!!! And what's so bizarre is our reasoning is exactly the same: Justin couldn't be trusted, Joey's last name is Fat One, Lance was always the "best friend" and J.C. had good looks and the best voice of the group. I mean, if that doesn't qualify as a quality for a soul-mate, I don't know what does. (I'm referring to Mindy, not J.C., by the way.)

Also, people, please take heed to the following. And by people, I mean my best friends. There are rights and frankly obligations you have to me, and I have to you. So fulfill them. I will too. (Mindy came up with these, obvi.)

- "I will try to like your boyfriend five times. This is a fair number of times to hang out with your boyfriend and withhold judgment." Elise, I love you, so I should have told you I couldn't stand Jake while you were still dating him, because trust me, I gave him like 16 times and I still didn't like him. So I'm pretty psyched you both aren't together anymore.

- "If you're depressed, I will be there for you. As everyone knows, depressed people are some of the most boring people in the world. I know this because when I was depressed, people fled. Except my best friends. I will be there for you during your horrible break-up, or getting fired from your job, or if you're just having a bad couple of months or year. I will hate it and find your really tedious, but I promise I won't abandon you." Now I tend to have more sympathy over breakups, so you all have some leverage on that one... but I have to include "1L-2L students" in the "most boring people category" because, well, Em, I love you but I'm REALLY SUPER HAPPY you're a 3L because now you have a social life, and that includes me seeing you on a regularly scheduled basis. :)

- "I will hate and re-like people for you. But you can't get mad if I can't keep track. Robby? Don't we hate him? No, we love him. Okay, okay. Sorry." I'm really great with hating and loving people on command. Except those people that I truly hate. You'll never get my love! However, friends, please take a moment and reconsider talking or associating with any of my ex boyfriends, unless you're directly related to them. I don't want to hear about how you bumped into them at the bar or hung out with him at the basketball game. How would you feel if I did that with your exes? Thank you for your cooperation. Also, I will never ask you to defriend an ex for my personal gratification -- don't ask me to do so either. That's just weird. Facebook friends? Cool. Going to his house party for the 4th of July? Not okay... unless I'm going and you're coming with for moral support.

MEN

You will have your day on Mentervention, as Mindy makes some excellent points that I need to discuss with you all. However, here are some highlights from her chapter "Guys Need to Do Almost Nothing to be Great" for the time being:

- Have a signature drink like James Bond. I have blogged about women needing to know how to make a good cocktail -- guys, find a drink and make it yours. I don't care if it's a whisky and ginger ale or Shiner. Just find one and go with it. Please keep it manly.

- Own several pairs of dark-wash straight-leg jeans. DUH. I have posted about this so many times! Guys, light-wash jeans? They don't look good with really anything except a white Hanes tee. So fill up that wardrobe of yours with the sexiness that is a nice pair of dark-wash denim. Yum.

- When you think a girl looks pretty, say it. For me, the jury's still out on the term "pretty." Like... flowers are pretty. So is the sunset. So is the ocean. So are diamonds... okay, fine, all of those things truly are pretty and maybe it would be nice to be compared to them. I think if you want to make a woman swoon, you tell her she's beautiful or gorgeous or stunning or something that's really like "POW! I think you're WAY ATTRACTIVE!"

But anyway, Minds makes a great point by including how to compliment a woman. Don't be like, "Oh, wow, I like the way did your hair today!" Instead, say, "You look stunning." And don't compliment what we wear by complimenting the article of clothing, like "I like your skirt." Say, "You look like a knockout in that skirt!" See? Minor differences, but worth the effort, boys.

I could literally go on and on about how fabulous Mindy is, but I will stop because my lids are getting heavy and I'm pretty sure I sound like a super creepster right now. But I leave you with this: Mindy, I used to work at Frederic Fekkai, and I remember you came in once and desperately needed product, but there was an issue with the valet, and it was major drama... and I'm sorry for that. I'M SORRY! I don't have any control over valet but I hope you got the shampoo and hairspray that you needed.

Xo,

NIGHT OF EPIC PROPORTIONS

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 09:42:00 +0000

If you know me (pretty much) at all, via Twitter, real life, or anything in between, I do not take myself seriously. Work? I take it seriously. Puppies? Take them very seriously. Blogging? Definitely. Myself? No. Not ever.

Granted most of you reading this are probably new Twitter followers... which I'll get to in a second. But let's be honest: I'm 25 and most people mistake me for 18. I'm a blond from Texas. My name is Kirbie. There are many things about me to not be taken seriously.

Therefore, tonight, when propositioned (not personally) to act like a complete idiot on Twitter in order to get a Twitter follow, I knew what I had to do. So basically here's what happened: somebody Tweeted my favorite person to follow on Twitter, @ChrissyTeigen, the following: "What would it take for you to follow?"

To which she responded:

To then, which she followed up with:

I happen to be at a surprise birthday with a bunch of coworkers when I see this. Not one to take a contest lightly, I tell Nat that I need a small plant... and immediately. Given we were in Tarzana and at a bachelor's home, we both knew finding a tiny potted plant for me to hold was pretty much out of the question. Therefore, I run my anus outside and break off a giant leaf from the (basically) amusement park of shrubbery going on, and bring it back to the ottoman I am sitting at so we can hold an impromptu photo sesh of me, scratching my armpit and acting like I had no teeth -- in front of 50 or so people -- fireside.

This gem was the biproduct of quick thinking and throwing all poise to the wind.

She's tweeted me a few times in the past, which was gratifying, but I like to go ALL OUT in all aspects of my life, and a simple response is not adequate enough. I want a true commitment that only Twitter can provide: a follow. (Hey, Katy unfollowed Russell, Demi unfollowed Ashton... following MEANS something.)

The best thing about this photo? I thought she meant "no teeth," but really she meant "smiling like a creeper, with no teeth showing." That's the sole reason I love Twitter. It's all up for interpretation.

THEN ALL OF THIS HAPPENED:

Epic retweet time!

(Notice how I favorited that tweet like a ~~loser~~ boss)

Welcome new followers (cough cough CHRISSY TEIGEN).

That makes me sound like L. Ron Hubbard...

So what have we learned here? Too many things, but namely a) Twitter brings people together, b) I will do absolutely anything for Twitter followers (???????), c) there are celebrities who don't just retweet people who are like "OMG ROB KARDASHIAN I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES BECUZ UR SOOOOO SEXIIIIII" or "VANILLA ICE IS THE MAN, HE'S THE HARDEST WORKING DUDE IN THIS BIZ!!!!!!!!" and they actually make things fun and not self-indulgent. So thanks for that, celebrities on Twitter who aren't self-righteous, humorless twits. :)

NOTE: No plants were harmed in the making of this photo. Actually, one was. But I doubt it will miss one leaf. It should grow back in no time. I pretty much made that leaf's night because afterwards I put it in my hair as I danced to "Apache" by Sugarhill Gang with Nat. What leafs do you know that have had the opportunity to dance to APACHE?

Speaking of... videos of people dancing to this sh*t never gets old. Ever. Here are some Marines partaking in some Fresh Prince action, for your viewing pleasure.

'I get by with a little help from my friends'

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 06:49:00 +0000

I've turned into one of those people that doesn't have time to call their mother every day, check PerezHilton 45 times at work, and calls "going to the gym" a fun night out... on a weeknight, that is.

Work is marvelous, but I'm so busy that I find myself going, "Oh my Gosh. This is what it's like to have no life." Don't get me wrong -- I prayed that this day would come, that I was so immersed in my work that it didn't feel like work... that it would be considered fun -- but I remember when I first moved out here and how much time I had on my hands. I would email people persistently in hopes of networking and grabbing coffee, and maybe, just maybe, they'd help me get my 'dream job.' I always wondered why most of these people offered little advice or no responses, or had little time for me. "Why can't these people take a minute a help a minion like me out?" Well now I know: they had a job that actually counted on them.

Don't get me wrong. If I didn't show up for work at my other jobs, all hell would break loose. But all I did was show up, figure out some menial tasks and then proceed to blog/write for Examiner all day. Which worked out in my favor, obviously...

But really, the real world has called and informed me that everyone is too busy 'doing themselves' to care what you're going through. It's like that saying, "Nobody cares if you're sad, so you might as well be happy."

One thing I wanted to throw out there is this: please, never be too busy to help people out. I am so grateful for the wonderful friends and mentors I'm acquired since moving to LA, all of whom have helped me by offering advice or support in all of my endeavors. They are the ones that touched my heart and gave me confidence, while my family was miles away. I've gotten increasingly more emails lately asking for career advice, personal advice, etc just from getting this new gig -- which is great, I love that people consider me somewhat knowledgeable -- and I try to take the time to respond, even if I can't immediately. Make sure to find time to email those who email you, get that coffee with that person who has been asking you to go for awhile now, and forward a resume for a friend in dire need of a job. You never know who's day you'll make or how you might touch another person.

Enough sappy stuff though -- I have a new Mentervention coming called "Is it too much to ask to find a guy that's really f-cking excited to date me? Is it?" Title pending. It's going to be super hilarious (as usual -- just kidding! but really this time), based on true events, and will include references to Mindy Kaling's book (so read it)... plus a possible video blog to accompany it.

I will not neglect this blog anymore!!!!!

Time after time

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 08:31:00 +0000

I haven't done one of these in awhile, but Nat came over last night to watch the Golden Globes and we got to talking about church and what she learned yesterday morning.

John 11 talks about Lazarus' death and how Jesus delayed in saving him. Lazarus was dead when his sisters, Mary and Martha, requested Jesus' help in saving him. However, Jesus knew Lazarus was already dead, and instead of immediately going to save him and help, Jesus responded with a delay. He waited two days before doing anything.

Jesus then decided to go to Judea and preach to Lazarus' family, even though it was unsafe for him to go there -- since the Jews wanted to stone him.

In the end, Lazarus is raised from the dead by Jesus, and in doing this Jesus makes sure to do it in the Glory of God -- waiting four days to do so, making sure there was no hope of resuscitation.

I bring this up because there are so many times in life where we want answers immediately, or we feel like we need help because we're at our darkest hour or lowest of low. However God sees these struggles as ways to really test your faith and see how strong it really is. Jesus could have easily saved Lazarus from afar, and he could have done so immediately, but timing was everything in order to prove God's glory.

Just remember when you think your life isn't moving as quickly as you'd like, or if something you really wanted doesn't end up working out, that timing is everything. Maybe God is protecting your from harm or heartache by ending a short-lived fling, or even a relationship that's been going on for years but isn't headed anywhere positive and isn't progressing as it should. Perhaps he knows you're going to be too busy throwing yourself into work to date, or maybe he has someone in mind for you and doesn't want you wasting your time on someone else.

I know dating as a 20-something can be really tough! And ladies, I know how exciting it is to date someone you're attracted to and has qualities you like and admire. But sometimes those people are brought in and out of your life quickly to show you what else is out there. So don't dwell on what went wrong or why things didn't work out. Just learn and get excited for the future God has planned for you.

Maybe you still need to learn a few things before you get that job you really want, or that pay raise you desperately need. You could be at the job you're at for years in order to be a testament to a coworker in need, or to help make your mark in a coworker's life. Perhaps you lost your job because you weren't happy and you weren't doing anything about it, and God is going to help you go after your true passion. All of these situations are in your best interest, even if you can't see that at the time!

I don't know what God's plans are exactly, but I do know that they are always good, and it's in our best interest not to question Him, doubt Him, fear what we don't know and worry over things we have no control over.

God wants us to be excited about the possibilities of the future, and you need to be thrilled with the idea that you are capable of having a vibrant, enthusiastic, thrilling life -- even when it doesn't seem to look that way at a certain point in your life. Expect the good and it will come to you!

Let God's timing -- not your own -- rule your life.

"Ice cream makes me cough"

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 04:49:00 +0000

I know my blog is still Christmas themed but Mama needs some TIME to revamp it, considering it took me two hours to do the change in the first place. Have patience. Don't be mad at the festiveness. It's like keeping the white Christmas lights hanging in your room all year long to set the mood... yeah.

ANYWAY there is an epidemic going on and we really need to take a second and recognize it. "We" being women. As hilarious and true the "Shit Girls Say" videos are, can we admit to the fact that having videos with a man dressed as a woman, saying things that practically EVERY WOMAN SAYS, is a problem? This is a may-jah issue. Here's why.

Sure, it's a stereotype, but the thing that doesn't make it a stereotype is that every woman has said a thing or two in these videos -- and often. Actually... that's what a stereotype is in the first place, so nevermind. In fact, these videos bond women together because as we watch we're like, "Oh my God, I DO need a new Facebook pic!" or "Wow that's so something Molly would say" or our computer will have meltdown during the video and we'll start calling our most technology-advanced friend to see if they can work a computer decently. (Which is actually me in most cases.)

So while this is a great team-building exercise, this is pretty much a travesty for women because now all guys can pinpoint exactly how all of us act. Isn't that sad? What happened to being UNIQUE!? Granted I will always, at any bar I go to, ask if so and so is drinking a mojito because they're my favorite, and my standard response to any boy-induced drama is "get it together," but seriously... we need to liven things up for men. Make things exciting. Differentiate ourselves from this societal norm we have created amongst ourselves: to be completely oblivious, somewhat idiotic and overly obsessed with weight, dating, and fashion.

Now I'm not saying you have to go cold turkey. If you have a shoe problem -- and who doesn't, let's be honest -- try turning on ESPN and getting acquainted with who Tim Tebow plays for, or who might be a potential qualifier to play in the Super Bowl (it's the Broncos re: Tim and GREEN BAY!!!! Just FYI). If you are depressed because you don't have a boyfriend, I strongly advise you get your ass to a gym and get a hot body and stop wondering... and then go out and have a girls' night and try not to take 7,000 photos for Facebook. In fact, try not to even TWEET that night. It will be tough but I have faith in you. And, if you really want to for the gold, just stop drinking. I know this is an astonishing thought but perhaps giving up alcohol will make you realize that you have more to offer in life than acting like a superficial ignoramus.

Anyway... let's keep enjoying these gems while somewhat striving to improve our image.

THAT POOR DOG NEEDS WATER!

Dress you UP IN MY LOVE...

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 08:58:00 +0000

Well hello there stranger! I guess I have self-diagnosed insomnia because it's 12:54 AM and I'm watching Tabitha's Salon Takeover, engaging in Youtube videos and writing this blog... obviously.

This is a video intensive post. Actually, this post is to show my declaration of LOVE for a certain YouTuber. How I never have seen Jenna Marbles' work before yesterday is truly some kind of sick joke because I AM OBSESSED WITH HER.

She's hilarious. (You guys know my weakness is for naturally witty, funny humans.) Her videos are cut perfectly. She has maybe the cutest dogs ever, behind Toby and Harley (RIP boys) -- here's the first video I saw her in. Note: If profanity isn't your thing... I can't guarantee you'll like this video.

While I might not be a slut on Halloween... I give her credit. Well said.

Then I found THESE GEMS and FTLOG (For The Love Of God -- it's going to catch on...) get her a tv show!!!!!!

"And for boys... any underwear that will turn you into Ryan Reynolds? You're going to get laid."

This reminds me of when I would run around the house, chasing Toby, singing "Tobinizer" (to the tune of Britney's "Womanizer") or "You can run you can hide but you can't escape my WUB!!!" (to the tune of Enrique's "Escape.") And true... guys, if you have an animal voice? FIND ME.

Silent laughter until I cried and couldn't breathe. Enough said. Amazing.

And on a completely unrelated Jenna Marbles note, my first video with BellaSugar was posted yesterday. Wahoooooooooooooo!!! Subscribe to the channel if you dare...

What you missed on Twitter last night

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 08:04:00 +0000

Still not on Twitter? WHY? Truly, it boggles my simple mind when people tell me they're still hacking around on Facebook but wont get a Twitter.

I remember in 2009 when I got my Twitter, and my mind was blown. I was so obsessed with celebrity culture and now I could actually reach out to execs, publicists, companies, brands & (you guessed it) celebrities I wanted to work with!

90% of the beauty contacts I make? On Twitter! I tweet how to be added to their media lists and the brand or person will follow & direct message me info.

ANYWAY, get on Twitter. I found out Bin Laden was dead via Twitter, Justin Timberlake was engaged, and half of the sports stats I retain -- all on Twitter, because I'm not glued to my computer or TV like I am my phone.

So what did you miss on the Twittersphere last night? Last time on this blog segment, Ashton Kutcher was causing a riot and some idiot was telling me Joe Paterno wasn't in the wrong because he is (was) a college football coach.

This time, Kanye West spent an hour tweeting tweets of epic proportion, regarding education and ideation. I have to say I actually agree with him on some things, which concerns me because I have to wonder if I'm turning into an egotistical, attention-seeking, pompous ass and will start dating a bald stripper anytime soon... (still love Yeezy, regardless of his poor, poor judgment.)

Like private art schools or military camps, kids should be given four basic cores and everything else should be major-oriented. No need to fulfill certain "requirements" to make a well-rounded student. If a kid hates sports and is stupendous at math, leave the child BE! Let him frolic in math courses and go on to rock some kind of BBA program instead of wasting his time with nutrition or some BS class that is simply a requirements and not meant to benefit him in his business endeavors. Further, nutrition courses in high school are pretty much taught by walking, talking geese. So if the kid is actually interested in making nutrition a career, please find an expert to teach the class and not someone who simply read the book assigned to the course!

(two cents over)

Best part of these "epic tweets" is that everyone on the Twittersphere was talking about it. We are the world, we are the children...

I encourage you to read Ye's tweets here.

And then E! posted a pic of Britney Spears in what appears to be her bathroom, and all I can think of is HOLY CRAP GET ME THAT NAIL POLISH STAND instead of looking at her ring, which is invisible, yet the point of E!'s post.

And that's what you missed on Twittahhhh.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Idle hands

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 07:32:00 +0000

For anyone who gives two craps about this blog, you're probably wondering why I've been slacking on the posts. I know, my writing is crack-cocaine to some people. I've been putting a few of you through withdrawal and for that I recommend you see a doctor...

All kidding aside, this is my baby, so I'm not quitting it any time soon. I mentioned a few weeks ago that I won't be doing any beauty (well, minimal is a better word) on here anymore. Bittersweet, but for good reason.

(This is no secret if you follow me on Twitter...) I recently quit my job because after two looooong months of anxiety and anticipation, I can finally tell everyone that I'm now Beauty Expert, Host & Reporter for BellaSugar.com!!!

I'm SO excited about this opportunity because it takes my love of writing and allows me to apply it towards creating scripts, and I get to use my journalism skills to interview people in an industry I love: BEAUTY! Furthermore, I'll be giving my own two cents for product reviews and how-tos, but instead of writing articles, I'll be doing it all on video for the site!

Check it out if you haven't. I'm feeling really blessed to be a part of all this. I've been training up in SF all week and Sugar Inc. is really going to kick ass and take names later this year. I'm a social media geek, so it's been cool to see how a relevant website, who gets millions of page views, works and operates! It's also been cool to see that the analytics I've done for this blog are being used by big companies as well. I have been doing SOMETHING right!

More importantly, I'm so eager to learn. There's a ton of info that is brand new to me, and I can't wait until I've learned it all so we can pump out fun, fresh content -- all in the name of beauty.

I've definitely been bitten by the bug! I adore working in front of the camera and can't wait to get more experience.

Anyway, this blog will be focused more on Hollywood happenings, social commentary and 20-something revelations, which was it's first intended purpose. Back to my roots, I guess?

I'll post videos and share links when they're up!

Xo,
Kirbie

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:San Francisco,United States

Customer Service: Get It Together

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 22:41:00 +0000

I can talk about this because if there is one person that knows about customer service, it's this girl. Trust -- I've had my "shut down" moments, meaning where a client or customer has treated me so offensively or has asked maybe the most idiotic question known to man, that I essentially "shut down" the smile and dance routine I usually perform, turn off all the smiles and apologies and just be REAL with these people.

I know this is a line many of you don't cross, however can relate to, because you've wanted to do it. I think you can perform great customer service, be real with each other AND get the respect you deserve, without people bulldozing over you or thinking you're an evil troll. It's a thin line, my friends.

I managed a salon while in college, moved to LA, managed another salon; coordinated a hair salon, then moved into office services at the PR firm I worked at. Luckily, at the PR firm, I was able to work events and get the network I needed (love them!), but dealing with people on a daily basis can be trying and disappointing. Especially working in Beverly Hills, namely at cosmetic institutions. You realize a dollar is worth essentially nothing to most people, and they don't care if they treat you like dirt. There was more than one occasion at the salon I worked at (on Melrose Place) where some old debutaunte would roll in with her endless loads of cash, talk to me like I was a dog (because I was blonde, young and said "y'all") and I would in turn be stern, unfriendly and pretty much get the job done -- to my boss' and the client's expectations -- but not be happy about it. My coworkers always got a kick out of it, but I didn't do it to be an ass or to make things uncomfortable. I did it to humanize these people!

Now most of you are probably wondering how I kept these jobs if my pride got the best of me. Here's the deal: the customer isn't always right. The goal is to make them believe so; if they second guess you, you resign from your own knowledge and/or training and let the customer do what they believe is correct. 100% of the time it won't work out or be right in the slightest, they'll need your help, and you'll be the one who will essentially be saying "I told you so."

I remember a specific incident particularly -- I was checking a color client out and she was questioning the price. I explained everything in a calm, happy manner -- to which she got snappy, made a comment similar to "what do you know?" and asked to see the manager. I obliged, got my boss, and it turns out the client was (always) wrong about what services she thought she received and what she actually received. She made me look like an idiot in front of several other clients, which I wasn't too thrilled about, so once we settled everything I robotically checked her out, handed her products to her without a peep. The best part is she actually apologized because she could tell I was disgruntled.

Sometimes, the customers need a reality check. That was my own personal way of demanding respect. I am friendly to a fault and compassionate out the wazoo -- but you don't get to talk to me however you want and expect me to be all buddy buddy with you and hug you out the door. I mean, I might hug you, but I'll kick you on the way out (in the most southern, charming way possible).

Anyway, LONGEST STORY EVER short: I love reading about customer service crisis'. I read about them initially siding with the employer (a lot of customers are idiotic) but always end up cheering on the customer because these managers missed the course in Management 101 on how to properly and effectively run a business. Oh, and how to not REPLY ALL!

I have a few cases and points:

- Last night. JBlack's in Austin. We (Emily and I) have rounded the block and are waiting with our flashers on for valet. A parking attendant comes up and tells us we can't park there; we tell him we're valeting. He threatens to write us a ticket. We round the block again, pull back up to JBlack's and see an attendant in a yellow safety jacket getting out of a car, so we're eager to pull up and a get valeted. Listen: WE KNOW HOW VALET WORKS. We live in Los Angeles for God's sake. We practically invented valet, given there are no meters in a 100 mile radius that aren't two hours or less and there isn't a parking lot until you hit Pasadena. We pull up and this happens:

"Can we valet?" (to attendant)
"Um, there's a parking spot up across the street on the left."
"Yeah... but aren't you the valet? We pulled up here earlier but the parking officer told us we couldn't wait for you."
"Yeah, I mean, I'm dealing with him too. I don't know what to tell you."
"Okay, but we are asking -- do you guys provide VALET?"
"Look, I'm busy, so put your two pretty little heads together and figure it out. I don't know what to tell you."

After screaming some obscenities and driving away, we could't believe what just happened. Here's what needed to happen:

"Can we valet?"
"No mam, we're all full, sorry for the inconvenience, but there's parking up the street on the left."
"Thanks!"

Instead, we are a) belittled, b) still wondering is JBlack's provides valet, c) wondering if the attendant knew that his SOLE JOB was to take our money (!!!!!!) and park the car!!!!!

- Slate PR published this on their Twitter feed and I just about died. Read about Ocean Marketing and their ignoramus manager (linked). Then, read what another site found out about his fraudulent email tactics and steroid use here.

- I hate to even bring this one up, but I have to because I am experiencing endless problems with them myself. Brandlink Communications is a PR firm that I first starting working with as an upcoming beauty writer. Loved the girls that worked there (they've since left -- thank Jesus!) but lately things have been just terrible on their end... I.E. sending me emails asking me to publish stories that have nothing to do with beauty, cutting and pasting emails to someone else and not changing the name or publications they worked for, and generally having zero understanding of how A) bloggers work and B) Examiner works. I received an email on 11/30 asking me to include one of their clients in an article about the VS Fashion Show, with the story linked in the email. I would have obliged, except I didn't write the article. It was the Atlanta Fashion Examiner's article and I clearly have no relation or connection to Atlanta or fashion. I wrote back telling the account manager that the email must have a been sent to the wrong person. We ended up going back and forth with her explaining what she was really trying to do (which I'm going to call BS on) and me refuting every point she tried to make.

Anyway, I hope they try a little harder when it comes to blog outreach because I actually like the people that work there. However, Brandlink became a Twitter Trending Topic thanks to this entire blog war that went on between Brandlink's VP and TheBloggess.com.

So that's a decent 30 to 45 minutes of reading for you. Enjoy!

"Let's set the world on fire, we can burn brighter than the sun"

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 05:39:00 +0000

Well my friends, the time has come. (To raise the roof and have some fun...)

FUN will be had. After all, 25 is a quarter of a century! Is this where I officially commence my quarter-life crisis? I'm pretty sure I went through that around, say, two-ish years ago, so let's hope not.

25. Does this mean I can rent a car without hassle? Does my car insurance go down? OH THE POSSIBILITIES!

If you couldn't tell, this is my annual birthday post. Hoorah! I made it through my early twenties alive!

More importantly, 25 signifies that I'm officially in my late 20s. If I can quote Jessica Simpson (and I will), I recall when she was turning the tender age of 23 on Newlyweds, when she was receiving endless bouquets of roses, tulips, daisies and the like, and she says, "23? That's almost mid-twenties!"

That's me, folks. Mid-twenties, right here. I can't believe it. Can anyone else who has been 25 or has just turned 25 believe that they are fully capable of being a functioning, responsible adult? It blows my mind that college is already over; that I am living in another state, miles and miles away from my family. That I have to pay car insurance and figure out health benefits. That I could give birth to a child and it wouldn't be some kind of 16 and Pregnant disaster -- albeit a disaster, just not something completely horrible -- and I can't claim "dependent" status on my taxes.

I feel like I've learned so much over the past year. I will say this for the thousandth time, but one thing I love about LA is the opportunity it brings. I love that they're always a party to go to and celebrity sightings to spot, and while I pride myself on keeping my cool around them, I hope I never lose the "pep" in my step when I see them -- even if it is just for two seconds.

This time last December, I had never worked The GRAMMY Awards or Elton John's Oscar Party; I had never taken a hosting class or been on an real hosting audition before. My living situation was completely different; I didn't know my current roommate existed at this point! Two of the dearest friends I have made in LA, Natalie and Shauna, were not as close to me as they are now. My relationships with my coworkers truly turned into long-withstanding friendships; they're people I would call up to go out with me at a moment's notice or invite over for movies and popcorn.

Mentervention wasn't even invented yet! Kirbie Goes to Hollywood was still my baby, I was working with Examiner, however not nationally, and I was trying to figure out a way to get involved with Giuliana Rancic (enter FabFitFun in March '11).

I have some crazy stories from 24: the night of epicness, featuring Rufio, at Ryan & Zac's houses; drinking champagne with Jack Dawson, the epic Taye Diggs incident at EJ's Oscar Party; Winning "Best Halloween Costume" (as Twitter, of course) at The Marble Mansion, realizing there's less than six degrees of separation between the Glee cast and the entire population of Los Angeles residents; working The GRAMMY Nominations concert this year during hurricane force winds, Marine Corps Ball madness, Dodgers' games, shaking chili-infused vinegar in people's eyes (not maliciously) to "make it rain" and/or "making it rain" anywhere possible (bathrooms, bars, cars). I got to see Oprah in the FLESH! I attended my first movie premiere (Scream 4) -- fun!

Mostly, in between all of the events, the friendships formed, and the absolute blast I had this entire year, I learned a few things about myself:

I'm actually pretty patient. I like being independent (eh, I already knew that). People like me for being who I am. If the email responses at work are any indication, I'm at the very least a little funny, somewhat clever, and people enjoy my writing. :) I tend to write people off; some of the best surprises are hidden under your nose, so give everything and everyone a chance! I have the travel bug!!! I'm turning into my mother. (I guess I have some tenderness in this cold, cold soul of mine somewhere...) I make the right decisions. My intuition is always spot-on. I'm a great investigator, a terrible loser (a great competitor?), and a decent car-and-shower singer when need be. I will never forget the choreography to "Oops...!" or "I Want You Back." Moscow Mules are my favorite; Ciroc Obamas are a close second. And at the risk of sounding completely vulnerable and like a total hopeful romantic: being single makes me whole -- I appreciate myself more than I ever have -- but deep down, I hope I find someone else (quoting Christina Yang: my "person") to share all the fun with. But who doesn't? :)

Thanks to everyone who made this past year so much fun for me. And to circle back to the title of this post, here's one of my favorite songs ever, as covered by Glee. We are young, my friends. xox

My Grown Up Christmas List

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 01:01:00 +0000

Remember as a child, when you would watch movies and the theme always ended up being some version of "family is most important at Christmas"? I remember watching and thinking, "Sure, but if I don't get _______ this year, I'm going to be PISSED."

As it turns out, when you're on the verge of 25, it seems as if God sends tiny angels to show you the true meaning of Christmas. And it doesn't revolve around a new pair of designer jeans, an expensive piece of jewelry, or technology that will be obsolete in six months after the new and improved version comes out.

A lot of things have happened this year that has changed my perspective. My brother went to college. Our family lost two of our precious members, our dogs: Toby & Harley (Rest in peace, guys! I love you and miss you both every day), and my mom and dad put their house up for sale. It was bittersweet, but I'm excited for new beginnings.

So, while I'm sure I could use a new pair of shoes or a gift card to Sephora (yeah, right), my wishes for this year weren't (mostly) anything material. YOU CAN'T BUY LOVE, FOLKS. I couldn't be more content just being in my childhood home (who knows how long we'll have it to enjoy), hanging out with my growing weed of a brother, and enjoying time with my parents.

It's also so bizarre how I feel about coming back here. I legitmately could not care to do anything except see my family, and I'm already awaiting January 2nd when I return back to Los Angeles. Last year I was dreading going back to Cali. Funny how so much can change within 12 months.

So my wish this Christmas isn't for a ton; mostly, they're things only God can provide.

My Grown Up Christmas List

For everyone to feel loved by someone
For peace to be brought to those who are sad and struggling
For those missing a loved one this holiday to feel fulfilled and comforted
That everyone can experience a miracle at least once in their life
That every child has warm clothes and a roof over their head, with loving caregivers to nurture them
A two hour massage (typing on a computer all day can bring one some epic back pain)
A giant savings account
Packers get another Super Bowl win (after that pathetic display of misery last week)
Ryan Seacrest to mentor me (dream big?)
For everyone to be given the best gift of all: hope for the future

Take some time to make someone else feel important this holiday. Actually, scratch that -- this entire next year. Resolute to be kind when it's hard to be, be patient when you're in a rush, and do something once a day to make another person's entire week. Be careful with your words and with one another's hearts, and if you love someone, be sure to give it all you've got.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays,

New beginnings

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 20:39:00 +0000

Folks,

You all know I love writing about beauty and my passion for hair, skin and nails! However, that content is coming to an end on Kirbie Goes to Hollywood. I will be doing a few more posts on Examiner.com, however, after the first of the year I won't be writing for them anymore.

I'm not giving up on my love for beauty -- there are several things in the works that will be coming up in the New Year that I can't wait to share with you. Kirbie Goes to Hollywood is still alive and kicking, minus the beauty giveaways and all that.

Happy Holidays!

Things I should be doing but I'm not: Part 2939292

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 09:09:00 +0000

You know when Diane Keaton is straight-up wailing in Something's Gotta Give? It's like, borderline ridiculous, and half annoying (yet an awesome movie)? That was me circa, oh, say, 25 minutes ago. I hate crying, I acting irrational, and I would like to believe I'm a patient, calm and collected when sh*t truly hits the fan. But tell me if sobbing like an infant in this situation isn't natural:

I'm studying and rehearsing for tomorrow's shoot, when I realize I don't know when I'm supposed to get to the airport Thursday. Non-chaulant like, I login to Southwest.com to see my itinerary.

EXCEPT THERE WASN'T ONE.

No upcoming trips.

No "Your Trip is Around the Corner!" email.

I thought it was bizarre because the first thing I did with my Southwest credit card was buy this trip home for Christmas with my free flight. I go back to my emails -- can't find any verification. I go to my sent mail to see if I forwarded to my parents. Nada. I even looked in my precious "Travel" folder on my Gmail and didn't find jack crap.

I. just. can't. I need this extended vacay. I need my childhood home. I need a home cooked meal. Please Lord, help a sistah OUT. I didn't go home for Thanksgiving, and I'm not missing Christmas!!!!

Cue the waterworks, people. For a hot minute, I thought I lost my mind and didn't book a flight home for Christmas. But you know me; I'm pretty on top of my stuff, especially when it comes to holidays -- definitely when it comes to Texas. Am I really this delusional? Am I now going to spend Christmas alone in bed, crying while watching A Christmas Story? (Or getting hammed, perhaps?)

I went to my Rapid Rewards statements and noticed a hefty amount was removed to Redeem reward travel on 12/22-1/02. JACKPOT. It had a confirmation number and everything. So, I give it the ol' honest try and enter in the confirmation number, but to no avail.

Southwest suggested I call them because they were having issues finding my reservation. (So help me God.) So here I am, at 1:00 in the morning, listening to elevator music/some derivative of the "Terms of Endearment" theme because, apparently, here's what happened (according to a very nice and accommodating Southwest representative):

I booked my flight
A "glitch" happened
My flight was not booked
Yet it still took out all my rewards points, didn't redeem them, and also didn't book the bloody flight

Thankfully, Tabitha is working with a tech consultant on getting this flight rebooked. I think she's doing it partly because it's her job, but mostly because she could tell I've been a blubbering buffoon. Furthermore, my parents have a real special, mostly inaudible but highly hilarious voicemail to (hopefully) delete immediately tomorrow morning. Something along the lines of "Wah wah wah, I'm not coming home for Christmas, wee wah wah wah."

I still don't have a flight, but I need to get back to studying. Stay tuned!

Clarisonic Mia 2: THE WINNER IS...?

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 20:36:00 +0000

Most of you know my Type-A self, so following directions was key to this contest. If you didn't tag Clarisonic or include your email (although I already have some of y'alls on my list serve), then you weren't considered eligible for the prize. (Those of you that mentioned I already had it were entered.)

So, 15 of you went in the running for the Clarisonic Mia 2 and I'll let these pictures reveal the winner:

Beautiful roomie Erin picking the lucky winner!

INTENSE.

Can't read a damn thing...

Bailey!

Congrats to Bailey Shiffler! I'll be contacting you shortly so we can put you in touch with Clarisonic.

Thanks everyone for entering!

Giveaway: Win yourself (or a friend) a Clarisonic!

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 21:18:00 +0000

I'm really excited about this giveaway because the Clarisonic Skincare Brush is one of my absolute favorites! I had the original back in the day, but I recently tried out the Mia 2 and loooooveeeeeee it even more.

I'm an exfoliation junkie, so having a gentle yet effective brush to really clean my skin has been awesome. I recently had terrible skin and nothing was curing it, but I got the Mia 2 and my skin is back to its old self (hallelujah!).

For those of you not in the know, the Clarisonic is a professional skincare tool that cleanses and exfoliates, leaving skin clearer, softer and more youthful. By sloughing off the dead skin cells your dermis accrues over time, you're able to present even-toned, blemish-free skin to the world. Perfect for any age, it's on everyone's wishlist. I have two now and can't get enough! (It retails for $149.00)

But what good is having a product you love if you don't get to share it? So, the good people at Clarisonic are giving one of my readers their very own Clarisonic Mia 2! Just call me the Clarisonic Claus, and I'm coming to town. (I love puns.)

Here's how to enter to win the contest:

Like my blog on Facebook
Like Clarisonic on Facebook
Comment on my Facebook page with why you want the Clarisonic to keep or to give. Nothing crazy, just a few words or sentences. Please include your full name and email. You also must tag Clarisonic in the comment, meaning, they have to be highlighted/linked on the page.

Note: once you like my Facebook page and Clarisonic's, it will take a few minutes before it will show up and available to tag. Please be patient.

Entry deadline is Wednesday, December 14th, 2011 at 12:00PM PST.
Winners are drawn at random.

Spread the word to your friends and good luck!

Holiday Shopping for the Ladies: Elephant in the Room

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 18:59:00 +0000

As a child, I hated White Elephant gift exchanges, mostly because I didn't understand them and nobody bothered to explain them to me. In all honesty, I was all about buying some extravagant gift that I could steal for myself, but my mother was always the one to bring me down to Earth and tell me to get something for $20 or less. Bah Humbug!

I inevitably would end up with a Chia Pet that looked (ironically) exactly like my Uncle Mark (who, for a majority of my life, had a fro). Why buy gifts that are a burden to have, rather than enjoyable? (Disclaimer: Uncle Mark is not a burden; he is rather a joy to be around. The Chia Pet version? Not so much.)

Well, my friends, thanks to ModCloth and Urban Outfitters, White Elephant exchanges are not only fun, but hipster chic. Being the Twitter bird that I am, I've been inspired by a few celebrities I follow. Here are some celebrity-inspired gifts (literally and figuratively) for your upcoming festive holiday soiree.

Chrissy Teigen: Moustache Bandages

$7.00, Urban Outfitters

I wouldn't recommend putting these on your upper lip unless you want a wax-like experience, but placing them around a cut on your finger makes for some instant entertainment. Side note: Chrissy (@ChrissyTeigen) is hands-down my absolute favorite person to follow on Twitter. She's hot (SI swimsuit model), self-deprecating, loves food, and does fun stuff with her boyfriend, John Legend. OH -- and she has THE CUTEST DOGS EVER. My affinity for english bulldogs (any bulldog really) is a defining characteristic of mine, and both her french & english babies are ADORE.A.BULL. (Get it?) I would happily babysit Pippa and Puddy here in LA if she ever needed someone local...

Kristin Cavallari: Bedazzled Vaseline

Win online or DIY

A girl in my office has a giant Vaseline in her office that's bedazzled and I'm semi-obsessed with it. Most of my friends know me as "The girl who owns a pink, leopard print, Swarovski bedazzled camera" (something fierce), and since Vaseline makes it to the #2 spot on my must-have beauty products list, I think this is an adorably-awesome gift idea. What's better? Make it yourself! Bust out the glue gun and create a sparkly, cheaper version for your best girlfrans. And don't stop there: bedazzle lotion, travel-size products, and the like! I wonder if @Glitter_n_Glue would do a featured how-to post?

Kikkerland Head Massager
$6.00, Urban Outfitters

This doesn't really remind me of a celebrity. I just figure a lot of these people must have intense headaches having to deal with the crazies here in LA. Also, it reminds me of a scalp massage at Drybar, an LA staple, so this is a great stand-in when you can't afford the $35 blowout!

Skuuzi Koozie
$28.00, Urban Outfitters

Again, no celeb inparticular comes to mind, but I feel like we'll see a thousand of these in Silverlake. If you choose to double-fist, you'll need to purchase two.

Sesame Street Mittens in Oscar
$34.99, ModCloth

Calling Jason Segal! Or my grouchy boss!

Statement of the Art necklace
$49.99, ModCloth

When I saw this, my brain screamed, "RACHEL. ZOE!!!!!!" I know it's a tad expensive for a White Elephant, but maybe you and your friends can decide on a chic-er version of White Elephant, like Opal Elephant.

The Elf Sweater
$49.95, TipsyElves.com

This needs no introduction at all but HOLY KRIS KRINGLE. My obsession with Elf is situated at "particularly unhealthy" so this would be the gift I'd fight to the death for. Bye Buddy, hope you find your DAD!!!

Reindeer Hat
$24.95, TipsyElves.com

Where has this been all my life? I hope I can get expedited shipping for the holiday chaos that will undoubtedly ensue at the holiday party I'm hitting up this weekend!

Double take: Rachel Bilson & TopShop

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 01:05:00 +0000

Awesome!

In January's issue of InStyle, Rachel Bilson is shown wearing this Red Rose Patch dress from TopShop. I had previously used this dress in a Lancome contest on Polyvore, back in October. Pretty cool to see something you like on one of your favorite celebrities! Or maybe I have star style? Yeah? :)

Retro vintage cute -- Lancome Contest by kirbiej featuring metal bangles

Holiday Shopping for the Ladies: The New Couple

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 18:20:00 +0000

Some thoughts on how to woo that special someone without making a real commitment... yet. Obviously it involves some alcohol.

Also, HELP ME DECIDE!

Short?

or long?

On hold

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 06:37:00 +0000

Eh, lady of my word? Most of the time. However, work prevails against this precious blog, unfortunately. Also, I lost my sanity this past week when I didn't hit the gym, so I've been some enjoying some endorphins and getting my fitness on.

Anyway, the second Holiday Shopping for the Ladies video WILL be up on Thursday. New video, new theme, new products. Really excited! Also, I have some luxury beauty product pics on Examiner right now if you're antsy and want some recs for those women who are tres hard to shop for.

Thanks for reading and watching, as usual! And for your patience...

Prayer request: Lauren Scruggs

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 01:49:00 +0000

Please pray for Lauren Scruggs. Lauren, based out of my home state: Texas, had an accident this past weekend. She was cut by a plane propeller on her face, shoulder, and last I read her hand had to be amputated.
This is obviously a trying time for her family, who lives in Plano, especially with the holidays coming up. This would a detrimental incident for anyone, but Lauren writes a blog: LoLo, and is an avid blogger & up-in-coming stylist. For writers and bloggers, our hands are so important to us. Please pray for Lauren's speedy recovery, that she is able to emotionally and mentally take on her injuries, and to help her perservere and rehabilitate so that she can get back to doing what she loves to do.

Lauren's parents describe her as a woman whose #1 priority is her relationship with God, and that she's "relying on Him" right now. I know she will be resilient with this state of mind! She's a beautiful woman with charm and talent, and I hope you will all join me in praying for her recovery.

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 05:15:00 +0000

New video gift guide Wednesday. Zero time tonight. Thanks for all of you who watched!!!

Holiday Shopping for the Ladies 2011: Girlfrans

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 20:39:00 +0000

Wahoo!

Here's the first video for Holiday Shopping for the Ladies of 2011! It's all about those ladies who outlive any man (literally and figuratively): your friends.

This is focused for women-on-women gifting, however, guys, you can definitely put these things together for your best girlfriends. Just be advised you'll forever be stuck in the "friends" zone if you gift her a Scentportable from Bath and Body Works.

The video skills are a tad rusty but give me a break, it's the first one I've done in a year. Sue me. It's somewhat choppy as I forgot videos have to be under 10 minutes for Youtube. I'll remember that tonight & will have another video up tomorrow! In the meantime, send me any suggestions you may have (kirbiej@gmail.com). I think I'll also go rogue and do a Gentleman's Gift Guide this year as well!

Enjoy and Happy Holidays!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Jr81eUDYNE

Hands are for giving

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 23:50:00 +0000

Friends,

I've noticed a few of you are reading from retailers or businesses. First off, THANK YOU! I mean, I don't advocate reading this thing on company time... but if you're bored out of your minds, I appreciate that you're reading this little guy.

Second, I have a point: I want to do some special things this December. If you have any ideas or suggestions of companies, small businesses, etc. that participate in blogger outreach, PLEASE (please please) contact me at kirbiej@gmail.com. I would love to do some nice things for those in need this Christmas. I'm looking for everything, but here are some ideas I have. If you can help with any of these (or know anyone who can), please let me know:

Send a 20-something home for the holidays
Provide clothing, shoes and tolietries for a struggling family
Toy giveaways for a children's home
School supplies for underprivileged classrooms

That's a start. You don't have to be in the LA area -- I'm looking for donations from around the country (the world?) to help make this all come to fruition. Ultimately, I'd like to do a contest where readers write-in to help those in need.

Another idea I had is to set up a PayPal account to accept donations. At the end of the donation period, I'd donate all the money to a family in need this Christmas.

Sound good? Send me your ideas! I want this to be a collaborative effort. I can't do it without you!

Waking up in Vegas

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 06:36:00 +0000

Last Sunday, I traveled to Vegas with the girls for the Marine Corps Ball. Going to Vegas is always something to get excited about, but we were all especially thrilled at the idea of meeting some military men.

Before I get anyone's hopes up, we didn't meet any men. Most men that go to a military ball? They're in a relationship or brought a date. DUH. But it didn't matter. Sometimes, just getting to look at the juice is worth the squeeze -- if you know what I'm saying.

Anyway, we were all pretty psyched about the fact that we'd get a night to party and a night to dress up in gowns. When was the last time we got to wear a gown? When would be the next? It's a pretty monumental occasion, none the less. Kudos to Emily who actually wore her Senior Prom dress. Girlfriend is skinny. Looking good, Em.

Free din at Lavo!

I simultaneously love and hate Vegas. For instance, after the ball, we went to Marquee: the number one nightclub in Vegas. You couldn't tell though, between the three piles of vomit, the eight flights of stairs we had to take, and the all-around craptastic human beings we had to expose ourselves to there. It was pretty Bush League, in my opinion. LMFAO was playing, and our promoter "friend" invited us to join, along with probably 3,000 other people. Once we got to the club, some bouncer asked us if we wanted to get "free drinks at a table with guys that weren't old" and we obliged, 100% because we wanted free drinks. These men were all from the Jersey Shore. Actually, from Hoboken. Seemed nice enough but they were all "bro-ing out" to the max and barely said two words to us. Within 10 minutes, the bouncer was back to escort us away from the table, probably because they realized our vaginas weren't hanging out, but mostly because we didn't look like transvestites (coincidentally, the women they brought over after us looked like a walking tranny convention).

However, the first night we got there, we enjoyed ourselves at the Concierge Lounge at the Palazzo = free booze and light nomage, which essentially equated to a free dinner. One reason I loooooove Vegas. Then we made our way to gamble and ended up meeting a promoter, who not only set us up with a free table at Lavo, but called us to ask if we wanted a comped dinner before hand -- someone had just cancelled and all we had to do is walk in and say we were "Jen Regina." I am down with free tables as along as men aren't there, because most men you meet in Vegas are epic douchelords.

Minus Emily spilling an entire spread of Penne alla Vodka all over her dress (and subsequently ruining it -- and people calling her "greasy pasta ass"), we had a blast that night. In fact, we had been drinking since 5:00. Therefore, we were in bed no later than 12:30. I wish I was kidding. The saddest part about that entire situation is that Prince Harry was in town at XS, which we were supposed to go to after the "greasy pasta ass" incident. My mother's dream of me becoming a royal could have come true. Now we'll never know...

Meanwhile, a wicked cold was brewing this entire trip. I had a pretty ill Thanksgiving, and not ill in a "wicked awesome" kind of way. Ill as in "sick." (Not a good sick. Drainage and coughing sick.) So we spent most of the day on Monday in our room before we had to start preparing for the ball. I kid you not. We didn't even venture outside. We didn't gamble. We didn't shop. We got up early, ate breakfast at the lounge (for free!) and then went back to the room and proceeded to nap, watch YouTube videos and figure out who passed the bar and who didn't (a simple pleasure for many 3Ls).

Let's get to it: the ball. Here are the deets:

I wore a lovely gown from David Meister, that I actually rented from Rent the Runway. I highly recommend doing this, especially if you have a fancy event coming up and you need a dress for one night. I wanted to wear something gorgeous, but frankly couldn't afford spending $600 on a dress I could wear just once. (Maybe someday.) The entire RTR experience was fab. The dress arrived on time, and they send you two sizes, both which come with self-addressed, stamped packages to send them back in. I rented mine for eight days for $160.00, and because I was having issues ordering, they threw in a free accessory for me to wear (earrings -- however, I wore my own instead). They also send you fashion tape in the event you need it, and everything is dry cleaned and in pristine condition when you receive it. You don't have to worry about cleaning it yourself, or if anything falls off or you spill wine, because it comes with insurance (added into the cost).

I did, however, have issues with the fit. The size two was perfect all over, except the length. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I got a temporary hem and just cut the thread before sending the gown back. Worked like a charm and the dress looked like it was tailor made for my body. I absolutely loved it! My earrings and bracelet I both got at Nordstrom a few years ago; the shoes are Charles by Charles David ($60.00 DSW) and the clutch is Poppy ($30.00 at DSW).

The ball was at the Hard Rock. There are a few components to the entire night: the ceremony, which lasts an hour, dinner, and then the party. I was crying pretty much the entire ceremony. They had a celebration of the Marines since they started, and had current servicemen dressed up in fatigues and dress blues from over the years to depict monumental moments in our country's history, like Pearl Harbor and 9/11. Then a video was shown which went more in depth about how much our Marines contribute to our country. It's hard to watch a video of those planes crashing into the Twin Towers and not have your heart break all over again. They interviewed Marines in the video, who talked about when 9/11 happened, they weren't actively serving, but pulled out their badge (card?) and showed NYPD, who gladly let them help with search and rescue. One man recalled going to the rubble and screaming, "United States Marine Corps! Is anybody there?" And people from all over, trapped, started yelling for help; some cheering, because they knew the Marines would save them.

It's really hard to express the emotional gravity of the video or the ceremony. It was very touching, especially being among the men themselves in their dress blues. Whenever they would stand, the would stand at attention. No matter how young or old, they did it. I loved absolutely every minute of it, especially how they commemorated every event, good or bad.

During one portion of the night, they cut the (delicious) birthday cake. They had a kid up there who was born in 1992 and he was from Round Rock! He was the youngest Marine there. He's my brother's age... crazy to think of what he has done and seen in such a short life so far.

Within the ceremony, one speaker (the Commanding Officer, Colonel David J. Furness) talked about the Marines and how it's similar to a church, with annual rituals and relationships that are built within the following. He also talked about how being a Marine wasn't a job, it was calling. Marines feel that way about their job. It's not a duty, it's a God-given necessity.

My dad was in the Marines for 13 years, and the National Guard for seven. I remember when he could come home in fatigues and that one of my favorite shirts to wear was his ARMY tee. I was soft and I loved wearing it around the house. I am thankful for my father and all of our servicemen, active or retired. Going and experiencing this entire event made me appreciate them even more and see things from another perspective.

By the way, we know this dude is from the Navy. They had some of the Marines' comrades there. However, one of them wasn't too appreciative of the Marines, as he kept bashing them and saying the Navy was were it's at. Uh, dude, do you realize you're at the MARINE CORPS BALL? You probably should shut up. He didn't. He then went on to say he didn't like the Officer sitting across from us, which just so happened to be Emily's uncle. Good one, dude... (Note: it wasn't the guy I'm pictured with.)

All in all, we had an absolute blast during our two-day Vegas stint. I feel like we have another trip in store for us in 2012!

My Week with Marilyn -- a review

noreply@blogger.com (KJ) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 09:50:00 +0000

I'm not going to give away the plot, don't worry. However, you have to be living in a black hole to not understand or expect what happened in this movie.

I have been infatuated with the idea for this film since seeing stills of Michelle Williams walking off the jet, absolutely identical to Marilyn Monroe herself. The fact of the matter is though, if you don't know much about Marilyn Monroe, you will simply see Williams as an actor, giving a great performance; not as attempting to portray the famous starlet. Instead, you'll see a character with a frail yet charming personality; charisma for days, beauty that doesn't seem to be fleeting, and a shaken, unstable past. (This is the best way to see this movie, by the way.)

I must be among the worst women in the world. I have not seen a film with Monroe in it. The information I have about her is from a book report I did in fourth or fifth grade. I remember that she had been "touched inappropriately" from the book; she also had many abortions. She was beautiful to me, but reading these things before seeing any of her glamour onscreen took away from her allure for me, which helped me go into this movie with the correct expectations.

Still, Marilyn Monroe is, in fact, the most glamourous woman who I never had the privilege of being alive with. She is an icon to many people; she is the epitome of the mere thought that women, in fact, rule the world. She could dazzle with a wink and put men in a tizzy with a giggle.

After watching this film, I ran home, found a scarf to tie my hair with and applied some red lipstick. Yes, I am laying in bed right now, writing this, in full homage to Marilyn. She truly had that affect on people, even after death.

So here's the deal on the movie: well-written. Funny. Insightful. I think a lot of people think, "Oh! A movie on Marilyn Monroe. This will be fabulous!" Those people clearly don't read tabloids. This woman was troubled, clearly, as I had mentioned her disturbing past.

The film follows Colin Clark, a 23-year-old aspiring to break into the entertainment world. You will fall in love with him as he shows his ambition, innocence and determination right off the bat. It shows Marilyn's antics on set -- a true, original diva, making cast and crew wait on bended knee for her arrival. No matter how long the wait, everyone made sure she was always accommodated and complimented.

The saddest thing about Marilyn has to be that people worshiped her: acclaimed actors, royalty; common folk. Yet she, in her mind, was never good enough. She never felt loved. I think that is the saddest feeling of all to feel, however I cannot say I have felt this way myself, ever. It has to be a lonely, sickening emotion.

Hollywood hasn't seem to have changed. In the movie, Colin says he left his home and family to "join the circus." And how. To this day, people are still kissing one another's asses, regardless of what might be going on. Marilyn needed someone firstly to love her, but secondly, to love her the right way. Loving someone doesn't mean giving in to every want they might have. Loving someone means giving them what they need, and sometimes, what people need isn't going to make them happy. Perhaps if someone took away her pills and her alcohol, she would have been forced to face her demons -- her insecurities -- and start living the right way. Then again, maybe she wasn't "Marilyn Monroe" without the pills and the alcohol. The movie paints her as an insecurity-ridden, needy woman, with a talent that simply can't be learned. Unfortunately, she constantly doubts herself, and nobody will be able to save her.

I remember when Heath Ledger died, and thinking that that was the first big Hollywood drug death I had ever heard of. I didn't think it was a prevalent thing, but then shortly thereafter Anna Nicole Smith died. Then Britney Spears lost her sh*t (royally I might add) and Lindsay Lohan was on her sexually confused, drug binge period: her obvious attempts for attention. I wondered how things could get so out of control in our generation. But, obviously, this isn't new. This has been happening since Marilyn; probably earlier. John Belushi, River Phoenix and many others lost their life to drugs. It's sad that nobody intervened with these people, whether it was calling the cops, sending them to rehab or just being an ally. Marilyn felt like she had none.

Marilyn boils down to this: she had a constant need for attention. When she didn't have it, she needed to not remember not having it. She would do absolutely ridiculous things, whether it be keeping a crew for hours, exposing herself to someone other than her husband, turning on the glitz for the paparazzi, etc. Yet, once she was left alone to reflect on all of those things, she felt ashamed, and would again try to not remember any of it.

One further comment on the movie: they kept referring to how wonderful of an actress Marilyn was. I can't tell if they told her that just to raise her confidence, or if they truly meant it. I haven't seen her films, therefore I don't know. Was she? Was she one of the greatest actresses of her time? Or was she merely a mesmerizing, pretty face, with superior comedic timing?

While Britney Spears may not be Marilyn Monroe, I feel she is one of the biggest stars of our time. I am truly thankful her father intervened in her life. I feel like if he hadn't, she would not be here today. I don't know her, but when you've seen someone consistently since you were 12, you start to care about them. (Sue me.)

Watching this movie, I couldn't help but to make the obvious Lindsay Lohan comparison. I wish I couldn't make it, because it's obvious she strives to have that reference and takes it as a compliment. But let's be clear: nobody looks at Lindsay Lohan and wants to be her, like Marilyn. Nobody thinks she's glamourous. They don't find her as a huge star. They don't compare her to great actresses. She is maybe the greatest lost talent of our generation. The girl has "it." But she ruins her opportunities to use "it."

Much like Marilyn, she has had zero guidance. Marilyn grew up in an orphanage; Lindsay might as well have. She's had literally zero parental supervision. The overwhelming similarities in how Marilyn acted out for attention with Lindsay's cries for help (they're all obvious, so no need to state them) are uncanny.

Hopefully, one day, someone will intervene in Lindsay Lohan's life, before she ends up living (and ending) a life -- identical to her idol's.

PS: wasn't lying about the Marilyn garb. I feel incredibly glamorous wearing this in bed!