Kissing Peaches

There is no coherence whatsoever to this post.

2007-11-07T19:20:00.000-05:00

Time's so strange. Yesterday was Gannon's favorite holiday: Advising Day, which basically means we have a meeting that lasts ten minutes and we're supposed to spend the rest of the day figuring our lives out. That translates to... no one getting much done at all. Except for me. That's right. I wrote, and finished papers, and cleaned my room. The day dragged, though.

My roommate came in at 2 p.m. to show me a shirt she'd tie-dyed, and last night at 10, she said she couldn't wait to rinse it out and see what it looked like. I replied, "It's been 24 hours, go rinse it now!" It had been eight, as most of us can see by simple subtraction. The eight hours that passed felt like a DAY to me. It was ridiculous. Nice though, because today feels like Monday, and tomorrow will feel like Tuesday, and Friday will feel like Wednesday, but guess what? It will be Friday. Hallejuah.

Can I just take a second to proclaim my supreme anger at CBS for not airing the Steelers game (for the SECOND time in 3 weeks) because Buffalo is playing -- oh man! -- 0-8 Miami! Whoo! Cause a division games between Pittsburgh and Cleveland will be a waste of time to watch, right? Right? I mean, it's obvious!

Now, I know, it's not their choice what games they show. It's contractual, blah blah blah, guess what? I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. Erie County is the ONLY friggin' county in the whole state that won't get the Steelers game. And I'm pretty sure there are more combined Steelers or Browns fans than Bills fans. I guess the bars are gonna be hoppin' on Sunday. Arggghhh.

If you're keeping track, I'm on word 11,400 for my NaNoWriMo novel. Which is right about on track. I'll probably crank out a few hundred more words today, just for the heck of it. I'm enjoying it so far. It's tough (obviously) but good for me. I've got it all online, if you want to read, IM me or something for the link.

This is really random, but I was thinking of it after reading up on some Lost news and ending up on a forum where some crazy 'Losties' post. I hate 'shipping'. If you don't know what this term means, I am jealous of you, because it is quite possibly the most annoying thing in the worlds of fandom. People seriously obsess over who is going to end up with who on TV shows, books, etc. One word of advice: Get your own love life; your 'ship' isn't effing real. The worst is 'slash'. I won't even say any more. Just watch this video for yourself. Oh, and it may seem like they're kidding, but people HONESTLY get off on this stuff... wow.

"That's hot."

2007-11-03T13:36:00.001-05:00

It seems the theme of my week will be Write Til You Can Write No More. Besides the obvious NaNoWriMo writing that must go on (I should be up to 18,000 words by next weekend), I have to write a genre analysis for a final project, a first draft of a final project, annotations for my proposal, some Animal Farm paper which of course I have not even looked at yet, and a 3 to 5 minute speech. Oh, and, I have a philosophy paper due directly following Thanksgiving but I should probably have at least an inkling about what I'll be writing. Whew! Luckily, Tuesday is Advising Day, which means I go to a couple meetings and have the bulk of the day to catch up on work. Plus today and tomorrow will be writing-intensive too. So fun, and I'm positive you all were really keen on reading about how much shit I have to do! You're welcome!

For the past two weeks, I have been a grateful guest to Jon and Matt's apartment for Game Night. We have found our niche in the board game market: Loaded Questions. The girls from the Potter's House introduced us to this game, and it's freaking hilarious, to say the least. What's really amazing about it, and what makes it fun, is that it shows how similar our senses of humor are. I would give some examples, but they're horribly inappropriate and politically incorrect, as we tend to be. Play it for yourself, with good friends who won't be offended by your lack of good taste. Or at least not really offended.

In other news, I was Paris Motel6 for Halloween, and hardly anyone 'got it'. Please tell me that you do. This might help:

Odds & Ends on a Tuesday Evening

2007-10-30T15:44:00.000-05:00

I come to complain, as most of us have at one time in our lives (exhibit A and exhibit B), about the ridiculousness that is Halloween costumes in college and beyond.

Rarely can one find a person at a Halloween party who is not dressed as if they were ready to stand on a street corner, if you know what I mean. We all know this. It sickens me. Seriously, does no one have any sense of humor anymore? Any creativity?

I am extending to myself an apology for going back on my passionate word, and wearing (but not buying!) a ridiculously conceived Halloween costume this weekend. However, I offer a rational explanation. Could you say no to this face? Because I couldn't. Oh, and, I didn't want to be the only person not in costume. So, yes, I gave in to peer pressure and I have a crappy, self-consciousness-ridden excuse. I mean, come on, they were going as Dorothy and the Cowardly Lion; they wouldn't have been recognizable without the tin-man(girl)! But I stand by my decision and honestly, it wasn't that bad. Although I'd never buy it for myself, I was not sluttified, only slightly embarrassed at following the silly crowd.

In other news, Ryan Gosling continues to fascinate and enthrall me, as he did once again in Lars and the Real Girl. Such a wonderful little movie. That Paul Schneider is talented, as well. Hopefully he continues doing good stuff.

Now I'm going to ask for YOUR wonderful opinions. I start writing on Thursday (eeks!) and I have stumbled across a perplexing plot problemo. Let me describe my initial idea and then you can give me your input. I mean, you have to give me your input, cause I'm stuck.

The year is somewhere around 2070. There has been a drastic drop in the US population due to a water-borne bacteria. Everyone has moved into cities, where the only *pure* water is. High-rise apartment complexes have been built, and everyone going in and out of the city is searched. There is a general attitude of paranoia and apathy spreading throughout the country at this point. Since the population is so concentrated in the cities (an estimated 75% of the American population dwells in these walled cities), consumerism is at an all-time high - ads everywhere; branding has become the staple of everything from politics to education to religion.

Charles is a teacher - but education has become totally virtual: students log on to a virtual school with a retinal scan. He's got a love for the subject, and for the ideals of education, but he's sick of the attitude of entitlement these kids are being raised with, he's sick of the lack of human connection. He's a perfectionist, wary of the government's increasing control but at the same time wanting to be the model citizen. He's got this inner conflict of wanting his life to mean something, but wanting to follow the rules. (Very bad at decision-making, this one.)

Anyway, to the point. Either his mother or a former flame and close female friend lives in one of the small communities that has developed outside of the cities. She lives with other survivors of the bacteria, who were immune to it. However, years later, some of these people developed psychic or telepathic powers, this woman included. She has cryptic, psychic dreams, and one night, has one involving Charles. She calls him, pleading him to leave the city or some harm will come to him. He struggles with his yearning for normalcy and deep desire for change before finally deciding to leave.

The rest of the story is about his journey to where this woman lives, and ultimately, about his search for happiness in the midst of tumultuous societal change. There's also probably going to be a bit about a new strain of bacteria in the city where Charles lived, so he'll eventually return there to save a certain person or people.

My question - who should it be? His mother? A girl from his past? No matter which I pick, I'll have the other in the story as well, I just don't know if the dynamic would change if the one 'saving him' was his mother compared to a 'love interest'. Thoughts?

Sigh of Relief

2007-10-26T10:47:00.000-05:00

It's an incredible feeling to finally feel somewhat at ease about one's chosen career path. I think I'm getting there, slowly but surely. One of my English courses this semester is called Advanced Composition. At the beginning of the term, we had to choose a context in which to write several pieces. Obviously, I chose to write things a high school English teacher would write. I can honestly say it's been the most educationally lucrative experience I've had so far in college. We peer-revise our pieces as a group, and I've learned so much about my own writing, how to improve my sentences, and how to refine my voice in a number of genres.

Now that I'm learning all this and having my eyes opened to the real complexity of our language, I am in awe that I ended up here. I didn't know I could learn so much, that my writing could be so much better than it was. It's like I was blindfolded, spun around, and ended up pointing at a big sign with my major on it, and it just so happened that it was the right one for me. Elyse, Steph, and Tricia have helped me to see my writing from a detached point of view - seeing as it really is, instead of how I saw it while writing. It's inspiring and encouraging to know I have the tools for writing in this field; I've written a unit plan, a lesson plan, a syllabus, and a philosophy of education. And I can do it. That knowledge is like a safety net positioned beneath me, so if at any time I get apprehensive and start to question, I remember that I am capable. That's all I can do until I'm actually out there, experiencing it. At least now I have the faith in myself to go forward with it.

/end testimony for good teaching/peer revising

=D

Am I Alone Here?

2007-10-23T22:27:00.000-05:00

As you may have read in over on Keep Cool, My Babies, Jesse James was incredible. And yes, I would go as far as to say it might be in my top ten of my favorite movie-watching experiences ever. As much as I'd like to go on and on about why it was so amazing, and how Casey Affleck blew me away, and how I fell that much more in love with Brad Pitt, and how Nick Cave's music was incredible, I won't. But I will go on a rant related to this film.

This movie showed in a little over 300 theaters last week. We were at one of only 6 or 7 showings in the entire Buffalo area last Friday, and there were only five people in the theater. We put two-hundred miles on my car solely to see this movie, and there were only five other people out of the almost 300,000 people in the greater Buffalo area.

Please tell me I don't have to spell out what I think is gravely wrong with this picture.

Okay, I will.

A western starring one of the biggest movie stars and sought-after celebrities on the planet (Pitt) and a recognizable face (and last name) (Affleck), showing in only 300 theaters in the entire country, only grabbing up five people per showing makes me sick. Maybe it's the running time that scares potential audience members away - 160 minutes. Maybe it's the lack of studio backing: hardly any TV or internet promotion whatsoever. Today's is a world of consumers raised by huge, money-hungry corporations who make their buck by advertising like all get-out.

Why do I think no one wants to see this moody, deliberately-paced, thought-provoking artsy film?

Because people don't want to have to think. They want to go sit in front of a screen with a gallon of Diet Coke and five pounds of butter-slathered popcorn to watch "Dwayne Johnson" covort around with an 8-year-old - no thinking necessary. They want jokes handed to them on a silver platter, Friends-style. They want music they recognize, archetypal characters, the same movie cliches over and over and over. Because it's familiar, it's easy, it's entertaining, and at the end of the long week, it's a brain-drain.

Moral of this story/rant: I guess for the majority of people, there is nothing wrong with this. That's how Hollywood works. People crave mindless, funny, familiar crap... I mean, movies. I don't, you may not, but most people do. So where does that leave those of us who still appreciate the art of film: the blood, sweat, and tears that goes into a masterpiece screenplay, that finally makes it to the silver screen after two years of editing and perfect cinematograph-ing and music-composing?

I guess for Jon and I, it leaves us driving to the nearest big city to catch flicks we should be getting at Tinseltown. It leaves us wishing anyone we know had seen that great movie too, had looked forward to it and relished sitting there for two hours and forty minutes, dissecting every frame, every facial expression, every nuance of meaning in every perfectly pitched line.

I can live with that. I'm happy I have Jon, for so many reasons, only one of which is that he has helped me funnel my appreciation for movies into a true passion for a carefully crafted work of art like The Assassination of Jesse James. I only wish more people would go out on a limb and give movies like this the chance they deserve. Instead of settling for easy, I wish more people would step up to the challenge of actually mentally participating in their movie-going experience.

So... if you 'like that kind of thing', please go see Jesse James. Oh, and Gone Baby Gone ain't bad either. (In fact, it's really, really good.)

B-Lo!

2007-10-19T09:40:00.000-05:00

Jon and I are headed for Buffalo around 2 this afternoon to see The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. Granted, it'll probably hit Erie in a few months and we're spending $20 just to get up there and back, but HEY, have you freakin' SEEN the trailer?! It's going to be amazing. And Jon's been waiting for this since April of 2006 when he first saw a teaser, so, it's basically the best day of his entire year probably. I bet if I broke up with him today, he'd still be happy because the importance of this movie outweighs the emotional implications of our relationship. I mean, okay, probably not, but it's seriously close.

I love road trips! Albeit this is a small one, 100 miles, but all the same, it will be fun. Plus, we get to meet up with Domenic, one of Jon's co-contributors to Cinema Fusion, who attends UB. Jon doesn't have too many contemporaries in the area with his movie tendencies besides me, so I think this will do him some good. Some fanboy camaraderie, so to speak.

This weekend brings us Gannon's homecoming, which is far more exciting this time around than it was last year for us as freshmen. Now that the girls are in their sorority, I actually have a reason to attend the parade, and I actually know some football players so the game isn't so much of a detached experience either. But the pinnacle of homecoming will be the dance, which will take place at the brand-spankin' new Bayfront Convention Center. I still love to get dressed up and go to big dances with lots of people. It should be a good time, especially because Ashley is coming home to go with Katie and I! Don't worry, there will be pictures.

That is all. I just felt like talking about myself. You can leave now ;)

He Says It Better

2007-10-16T22:31:00.000-05:00

Since I'm uninspired and lazy today:

"The best thing about writing fiction is that moment where the story catches fire and comes to life on the page, and suddenly it all makes sense and you know what it's about and why you're doing it and what these people are saying and doing, and you get to feel like both the creator and the audience. Everything is suddenly both obvious and surprising ("but of course that's why he was doing that, and that means that...") and it's magic and wonderful and strange.

You don't live there always when you write. Mostly it's a long hard walk. Sometimes it's a trudge through fog and you're scared you've lost your way and can't remember why you set out in the first place.

But sometimes you fly, and that pays for everything."

- Neil Gaiman

(Psst... he has a great blog which he updates quite often. Jonathan sent me there, and now, I send you --> Neil Gaiman's journal.)

Public Apology

2007-10-15T20:11:00.000-05:00

I wish to retract my previous statement on the outrageous dairy prices. I am proud to be supporting the impulsive shopping habits of my best friend, the former Erie County Dairy Princess herself, Miss Katherine Shreve.

That is all.

$4.04 For a Freakin' Gallon of Milk? Are you kidding me?

2007-10-14T19:32:00.000-05:00

One thing I must admit to thoroughly enjoying is laying in bed. I know - revolutionary idea, right? But really, owning a laptop, a TV, and being able to lay in my bed under some fleece-y, cozy blankets and do my homework is such an incredible feeling. It's a feeling that almost, maybe begins to balance out my lethargic mood and horrible feeling in my mouth.

(I'm trying to slowly end my wonderful five-day pity party, but it's hard. Bear with me.)

I made lots of progress yesterday on the planning of my NaNovel. I'm not sure I'm going to share my plot synopsis just yet - still needs some tweaking - but I'm proud to say I've actually got a semblance of a story and a couple of familiar characters that are ready to be thrown into the mix. Also, I downloaded this neat word-processor, Q10, that has an amazing feature for a theatrically-oriented writer: a typewriter 'sound effect' when you write. Coming from a girl who would have rather slaved away over the broken typewriter from the attic, sans ink or any real typewriter expertise, than break in the '93 Apple, that's big, guys. That's big.

Michael Clayton was a good flick; go check it out if you have a) an IQ above 100, and/or b) a fascination for all things Clooney. Only the latter refers to myself, but Jon can reasonably fit into the first category, so we worked it out quite well.

Groceries are expensive. Discuss.

Blah blah I hurt blah blah blah.

2007-10-12T16:08:00.000-05:00

Don't worry, I'm still alive! Just a little drugged up and out of it. The norm...(?)

Right now, I'm sitting here watching Jon and Levi play Halo 3 (which to me, looks exactly like Halo...other versions?) and getting ready to go watch Michael Clayton. Yes, I, swollen-chipmunk-cheek-girl, am braving the outside world in order to get a George Clooney fix.

Luckily, I have been productive in my two and a half days of downtime. I have eaten quite a bit of applesauce, mashed potatoes, pudding, and ice cream. I have watched many episodes of the various incarnations of Law and Order, and also, I have renewed my What Not to Wear addiction by partaking in the weekly Friday marathon. Lastly, and most importantly, I have watched six or seven more episodes of Arrested Development Season 1. My plans for tomorrow include watching Tombstone and reading some more of Philip K. Dick's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (aka Blade Runner), which is very cool so far.

I don't really like this feeling of medicated-ness, since I very rarely take any medicine, only Ibuprofen here and there. Other than that, it's been a relaxing few days.

By the way, go watch Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. So clever. Gary Oldman is so underrated.

Semi-Infinite Day

2007-10-04T21:59:00.000-05:00

I'm sure you've had one of those semi-infinite days, where the clock reads 10:59 and you aren't sure you can remember what you ate for lunch, much less breakfast, or even just the act of waking up, for that matter. (I hear a flock of geese outside my window... which is odd, isn't it? This late at night? Maybe they're lost?) Today was my semi-infinite day. Up til 2:45 am the night before + class from 9:30 til 4:20 today + a presentation + fretting over 3 papers that had to be turned in + an overwhelming amount of work to be done in the next few days = a Confused Sara™.

In other news, I've found a mentor for my NaNoWriMo. Boone is an editor for his own company as well as a sci-fi/fantasy literary review, and he's got his BA in English with a focus on creative writing. I'm looking forward to working with him on this big, crazy commitment I've made. He's got me at least entertaining the idea of doing something contemporary/near-futuristic because I'm interested in my characters doing some travel, some soul-(among-other-things)-searching, but I don't want to get too fantasy-ish. We'll see; I've still got a few weeks to work out the kinks. And, oh, figure out what the heck I'm gonna write about. What do you guys think about where I'm going with it so far?

I've found that living in an apartment can become a lonely experience, at times. Two of our roommates seem to have found second homes, more or less; Katie's constantly busy with her sorority and other commitments, and Lauren likes to go to bed early. I guess since I don't have class til 12:20 three days a week, my staying up late kind of alienates me, but I miss the communal living experience - at least a bit. The dorms were great for starting out in this whole college thing. I miss the loudness in the early evening, when all the girls were getting back from meetings and dinner. I miss the "Who's going to the gym?" call to anyone in general, the collective hatred of our RA, the nights in the lounge when all 18 of us were squished in front of the TV, agonizing over Grey's Anatomy. Oh, wait, except me (ugh, and trust me, it hasn't gotten any better this season. Why aren't you watching The Office, anyway?)

I lost my train of thought. Leave a comment or I will characterize you in my novel... in a very negative light.

Question of the Day

2007-10-03T10:26:00.001-05:00

Interwebs, please give me a definitive answer, on the fly:

Are two scrambled eggs with mild cheddar cheese, salt, and pepper good for one's dinner? (Yes, that and nothing else.)

I need protein... so I think I'm getting it with eggs... but aren't they mostly fat, too?

Other than that, life goes on as normal. Jon turned the big 2-1 yesterday. I bought him a few movie-making books to light a fire under his ass, and hopefully the boys will actually make their next movie this summer.

Ya know how you're not supposed to go looking for a story idea, it's supposed to 'come to you'? Well, I have t-28 days for my muse to show her sorry face and grant me, for once, a workable idea. Can we do a 'muse-dance' or something? HELP!

Amusement of the Day

2007-09-30T11:49:00.001-05:00

I'm becoming a Twitter addict, for two reasons. 1) I think it's a neat concept, even if no one I know personally uses it. I'm using Facebook and this here blog to bring my regional peers into the trend-mix. 2) Who doesn't like to talk about what they're doing right now to anyone or no one in particular? (It satisfies the Sara of the past: the one who would narrate her own imaginings when no one was around...)

Since I don't actually know anyone who is on Twitter, I figured, why NOT follow John Edwards & Barack Obama? They're cool, right? And really, I just wanted to wake up this morning to have my Gmail inbox read those two subject lines. I'm so like, famous now that John Edwards & Barack Obama ('s Internet social-networking consultants) are following me on Twitter. Psha.

Have I gone a little insane, perhaps?

2007-09-29T21:22:00.000-05:00

Jon and I enjoyed a wonderful dinner this evening at Bertrand's Cafe on 6th & State. It's a gorgeous little French bistro which, I admit, we weren't dressed appropriately for. However, I had my first taste of duck (which Jon ordered) and I enjoyed a hugely filling chicken boursin with chocolate truffle for dessert. It was incredible. And incredibly expensive?

At any rate, we talked quite a bit about this grand notion I've had that might make me seem a little bit insane. A few years back, I heard about NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), and I attempted it. I got about 20 pages in last time and realized I hated my characters and plot and everything, so I just quit.

So basically, you try to write a 50,000 word novel within the month of November. That comes out to about 1,666 words per day, or three single-spaced typed pages in Word. Granted, it'll probably be mostly rubbish, nothing I'd ever let see the light of day, but it might just get me past my horrible mindset of: Nothing I write is going to be good, so why try?, and I suck at plot, so why try? and I can't develop my characters, so why try?

I'm going to try. Really hard. For 50,000 words. And if only 5,000 of those words are remotely salvageable, I'll be happy, because at least then I'll have tried and failed. But I think once I get into the swing of things, I might just do alright. All I need is a story, which I don't have, but I have a month to think of one.

And just so that I can't back out and be a wuss and give up, I'm going to install a handy widget on this here blog and I implore you, my faithful readers (all 3 of you) to please pester me to keep it up. I'll probably mention it throughout my blogging the next couple of months, but that word count needs to keep racking up higher and higher. I've noticed in my writing that I tend to start fast and furious and die out very suddenly and drastically. Usually after I've abandoned a piece of writing for even a day, I'll never think of picking it up again. I really need to break myself of that habit. I consider this rehab for my bad, bad writing strategies.

Wish me luck!

In other news, my beauuuutiful younger sister won homecoming queen back at the good ole' alma mater this weekend! I have to brag, cause she is everything I wasn't in high school, and I am so proud of the young woman she's become.

Morning Update!

2007-09-26T09:41:00.000-05:00

How do you like the new look? I wish I weren't so lazy or I would have already learned to make such simple templates for my blog, but, alas, I'm lazy! I like these colors for fall, and the quote is wonderful.

Other than that, I have nothing of value to say except: I had a dream that I was tight with Justin Timberlake. Ya know, we hang out together at weddings of our families' friends. We go way back. (Jon's gonna love that one...)

My First True Love

2007-09-23T18:30:00.000-05:00

I think I have always loved chocolate. I know there is a picture of me when I was maybe 4 years old, in which I am prominently displaying my birthday cake: a deliciously fudgy, chocolate-frosting slathered, M&M covered chunk of heaven. Mmm, M&Ms were the greatest. I'd group them into different colors and systematically consume them in the order of the rainbow, or maybe sometimes that ugly tan color first. And yes, I actually do remember when they first came out with blue M&Ms.But it's more than just a penchant for a certain kind of chocolate candy. Some people really love Twix, some are Reese's people. Some just want a plain ole' Hershey bar. Me? I want any and all, baby. The more, the merrier. (I often remark that I am completely full at the end of having dinner somewhere, and when the server asks if we want anything for dessert, I'll pipe up - "What have you got?" Jon thinks I'm crazy, but I am pretty sure I have a second stomach just for chocolate.)

A perfect evening for me in my childhood was a sleepover involving movie-watching and bowls of melted chocolate - literally - melted M+Ms, melted Hershey kisses, exploded Milky Ways... my best friend Ashley will volunteer the story of us laying out in the sun, me letting chocolate sit on my body and melt and then I'd use my finger to eat the rest off (gosh, how did I ever get a boyfriend? Eeks.). I dissect my Snickers bars: first eating the chocolate (letting it melt in my mouth), then finishing off the rest, which isn't nearly as good as the outer shell.

It's not bad manners, I promise you. I just love the taste of melted chocolate too much to let it pass me by. I can get a small bag of M+Ms to last me through an entire feature film, or even longer. I used to get Sno-Caps at the movies and I'd barely be through half of the box before closing credits.

Some may have considered my chocolate addiction a phase - ya know, kids like sweets, and all that. But no, no, it is not a phase. I have tried and failed at eradicating chocolate from my diet. For a while in high school I'd only allow myself one candy bar a week... but then I realized, where's the fun in that? I love the stuff, I play sports, I eat pretty ridiculously healthy besides my chocolate addiction, so why shouldn't I have it?

So now I do. I have faced my obsession head on and surrendered myself to it. There is not a day that goes by that I do not partake in some chocolate delight, I can assure you. Right now I have a big bag of Hershey kisses in my drawer, a bag of mini-Hershey bars in the kitchen cupboard, and a couple boxes of fudge brownies and swiss cake rolls. I do not resent this part of my life, I consider it an integral part of who I am. I can even squeeze a semi-profound analogy from it.

The way I savor my chocolate is akin to the way I savor moments in my life. I'm a nostalgia addict; I love to take pictures, look back on them, read my old journal entries, jot down "remember whens" and inside jokes for future reference. I firmly believe in the value of memories. I hold each wonderful moment I am given inside of me as long as I possibly can before letting its sweetness slowly melt away until it it just a memory. The good thing about chocolate (and those amazing, I-wish-I-could-pause-time, vivid moments) is that there will always be more.

A few of my faves:

The Art of Being a Scholar

2007-09-15T15:50:00.000-05:00

Since no one gave me a topic for my next blog (failure to follow directions! You're in for it!), I had to think of one myself. And yes, it took twelve days.

Today as I spent four hours in our living room completing various assignments and reading my philosophy textbook with highlighter in hand, I pondered something. Why does college no longer have the connotation of 'study'? When I went home for the summer, no one said, "How are your studies going?" or "What are you studying?" Is that just an antiquated thing to say, or has our college experience really evolved in this country to the point that our 'studies' are no longer the top priority?

In my experience - especially during Honors Seminar, where we sat and talked about co-curricular activities and dorm life and adjustment periods - I've noticed that there is a huge emphasis on everything you do outside of class. Most of my good friends here at school are not those I have class with, but either those with whom I've lived or those with whom I've participated in activities. We're all involved - sometimes I feel too involved - in so many things: Honors program, honors societies, sororities, intramural sports, the newspaper, the literary-art magazine, professional organizations, and interests clubs.

Sure, we do a lot of homework. Sure, we read and study and write papers. We stay up late and complain about getting up early, we grudgingly march from class to class and listen to lectures and take notes. But do we come to college with the same thirst for knowledge as did scholars of the past two, three, four centuries? Do we come here because we want an intellectual pursuit, a wealth of information at our fingertips, a desire to learn from experts in our chosen field?

Some of us do. But I could probably name the ones I know on my ten fingers. College has become a pre-requisite for an acceptable life path. Instead of, "What do you want to do when you grow up?" coming from Aunt Millie at your 10th birthday party, it's "What are you going to major in when you go to college?".

I can imagine a time in our future when there will be a clear division between post-secondary schools meant for lovers of knowledge and those for kids who just need to get a degree because that's what they're supposed to do. Maybe that day is closer than any of us think... look at the huge difference between Ivy League schools and state schools with hardly any admissions standards. The difference is kids who are learning because they need it, they crave it, and kids who are there but aren't learning a damn thing but how to binge drink and cram.

What's my point?

Hmm.

I'm one of the former. I'm not sure that it shows, but I feel that I am. How about you?

A 'Labor'ious Post (After 8 Weeks of Silence)

2007-09-03T23:12:00.000-05:00

Do you ever wonder who, in forty years, will be considered the legends from way back in the 00's? Like, who's OUR Beatles? Do we have anyone at all of that caliber in our generation? I, personally, don't think so. But then again, there's John Mayer, there's Dave Grohl, there's Chris Cornell. I know (my soft spot) Justin Timberlake will go down in history as a ridiculously good-looking man who actually possesses some authentic talent - regardless of what my S.O. has to say about it. I remember listening to Froggy 94 back when it was oldies and thinking, "Wow, someday, the Spice Girls will be on here!" - doubtful - but then again, won't it be fun to say to our kids in twenty years, "This is who we rocked out to at the middle school dances!" and get that look of disgust and rolling of eyes that I know I gave to my parents when we listened to oldies on car trips. Just a thought.

Oh, hi! I didn't even fall off the face of the Earth in the past three months or anything. I just, uh, had better things to do, no offense? Ha, actually, I just worked a LOT and didn't really have much to chronicle for the masses. I did my good share of traveling - Canada (2x!), Connecticut, Pittsburgh, Florida, Cook Forest, etc. It was a grand ole time. And if you're dying to see photographical proof, uh, get Facebook? But really, it was a great summer.

I am now back in Erie, hurrah, at a grand apartment in a rather nice section of downtown. It's working out great so far. It's BIG, it's old-fashioned, it has character, it has a FIREPLACE (*cough*thatdoesntworkbutlooksneat*cough*) and a back entrance. We love it. Plus, for 1/3 of the year, I have my own room! Which is wonderful. It's large. And I don't have enough stuff to even fit in it. Except for my growing shoe collection. Did I ever mention I've developed somewhat of a shoe addiction? I'm not ridiculous about it - unless you ask certain people - but I have started to buy shoes quite often. I'm still a bargain shopper though, and I'm proud of how much money I saved up over the summer to get me through the year. Come Christmastime, we'll see how well I really did. ;)

It's currently past my bedtime, but I'll leave you with a few parting thoughts because I know you all (being the three people, oh wait, maybe four! who I know read this with varying degrees of faithfulness) missed me so much.

- Having 18 credits of *real* courses is actually quite a bit of work? You should try it sometime! It's fun.
- Please, please go see 3:10 to Yuma this Friday. It stars Christian Bale and Russell Crowe, and let's hope it continues the steady re-ascent of the western to the position it deserves in cinema. (Jon, you better love me for plugging a WESTERN on my BLOG :D)
- Finding a parking spot downtown is not fun and the parking authority likes to give tickets... ughhhh.
- Read this, this, this, this, and this. Go.
- Stephen King should basically start paying me as like, his semi-publicist. Just puttin' that out there... but seriously, GO READ SOMETHING BY STEPHEN KING. If you never have, you will be pleasantly surprised. I thought it'd be all gore and no brains, but it's the exact opposite. All brains, alot of humor, a TON of amazingly observant character insights, and a teeny bit of horror. He's ridiculous. And, if you haven't read The Gunslinger by now, goshdarnit, get off your ass and go get yourself a dang copy!

To those who care: Next on my reading list is Cormac McCarthy's No Country for Old Men; firstly because The Road was incredible, secondly because it was recommended to me (...), and thirdly, because of this. Coen bros. = :)

Wow.... have I rambled enough?
Leave me a comment with something I should write about, k?

It's been a while...

2007-06-29T13:42:00.000-05:00

I haven't exactly kept up on chronicling the earth-shaking events of my summer, but I doubt anyone has noticed. For my own purposes, I'll do a little rundown here as a mid-summer reflection. I've been working at the Frog Pond usually five days a week and making pretty dang good money. I feel more comfortable there now than I did last year, and with the addition of my BFF Katie to the roster of waitresses, along with Katie Sullivan and Kayla Blakeslee, I feel like going to work is a social experience as much as a money-making one. When not there, I'm in Cambridge, Saegertown, Maplewood, or Erie. I'm with Ash and Katie alot, and of course my Jonathan. I've already been to Canada twice this summer and Jon and I had a great trip to Connecticut a few weeks ago. It was very spur of the moment, but it worked out perfectly. It was really neat to see my hometown again, visit with my aunt, and show Jon around the places of my childhood.

I've been reading quite a bit too; I've been working on P.D. James' The Children of Men, which is fabulous. I'm still reading The Dark Tower Series; I'm over halfway through the fourth one, Wizard and Glass. Mother drug Jon and I to the Villa Maria booksale where I spent $8 and came away with a huge haul of books I've been dying to own. My prize acquisition is a like-new copy of Jhumpa Lahiri's Interpreter of Maladies, which I paid 33 cents for. Uh... yeah. It was amazing. I will not need to set foot in a library for at least two years. (Except to use the Internet like I am right now... argh.)

Nothing much else new. Life is good, and I'm trying to cherish every day and really appreciate summer. I know I'll love going back to school in August, but I'll miss these lazy days and delightful cash in hand... *sigh*.

Hope all is well with you, my non-existent readers.

Country living

2007-05-06T13:33:00.000-05:00

Coming home yesterday afforded me a realization that kind of caught me by surprise. When I pulled into Katie's driveway and rolled down the windows so we could sit and talk for a while, I was bombarded by a scent. (Firstly, it was manure, because it's May, and Katie lives on a dairy farm. But that's beside the point.) It was fresh air. Who knew fresh air had a scent - a familiar, distinct, gorgeous scent that waits for you when you leave and whispers, "Did you miss me?" when you return. Ahh, to be in the country again among trees, fields, open roads sans stop lights, amazing quiet, bird calls, nature. I honestly did not think I missed it until I was here again. I'll be sure to cherish it while I'm here for the next four months - yes, you read that correctly, FOUR months. Hallejuah.

(Although, I must admit, I also miss Gannon already. Mostly my friends. Even though I just saw them yesterday morning...)

Also, my darling boyfriend and my mother/sister/mom's boyfriend are great at gift-giving. My favorite birthday presents are definitely car insurance, from the mother, and The Sound of Music 40th Anniversary Edition DVD from Jon. And Cormac McCarthy's The Road. I'll definitely be starting my summer reading off with that. Jon also got me, among other things, a book of recommendations from authors on their favorite books. What more could I want than suggestions from the masters themselves?

I reckon I'll be spending this week unpacking and organizing my room back into a livable space for the summer. I'm sure I'll end up sending alot of unworn clothes and random items out to where my mom works, for the girls, or at least to the Salv-A. I have way too much stuff! Spring cleaning is in order... hurrah.

(Good luck to everyone on finals!)

Tra-la-la

2007-04-29T21:42:00.000-05:00

A cool, pink sky like a watercolor masterpiece stands behind the stark facade of the busy mall plaza. I want to stand and watch as it morphs into dark pink, light blue, darker, darker, dark. They're walking ahead, ice cream in hand, commercial light flooding onto the parking lot. I follow, needing to hold on to this moment.

My birthday is on Thursday, so this weekend the girls and I went to Coldstone for ice cream and had a great time driving there and back with my laptop as our music source. The best night we've had here at Gannon followed... I won't try to explain it or describe our sheer carefree joy at being together and being ridiculous and having the best time ever. I am so thankful to have found such great friends here; I can't imagine being with anyone else for the rest of my college years.

The past week and a half has passed in somewhat of a blur. I know I saw the funniest movie I've seen since 40 Year-Old Virgin, Hot Fuzz, thanks to Jon's insistence. The girls & Levi joined us and wow, it was hilarious. I highly recommend that you see it, especially if you can appreciate British humor and think that action movies (i.e., Bad Boys II) are horrendous.

I have about sixteen weeks of summer ahead of me after this Friday. I plan on reading roughly a book a week, starting out with The Great Gatsby (which I'm reading now), Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, and I would like to tackle Atlas Shrugged as well. Any other suggestions from the peanut gallery? I've got to gain a stronger background in my content area of my major, aka, I haven't read enough good stuff. I spent my childhood reading mostly Babysitter's Club and Goosebumps. (Ok, I know Jon's gonna call me out on this, so yeah, I have read alot of good books. But I need to read more!)

Jon introduced me to Flixster this week, so I've spent altogether too much time on there amassing my favorite movie/actor list and taking the "Neverending Movie Quiz", which is pretty darn addictive. Good time-waster. But I like it because... now anyone who comes here can see my fave movies and my recent movie reviews right on the sidebar. I know, sweet.

In all seriousness, life is good. Life is just pert near perfect. I feel like I'm coming out of this year having learned so much, and having learned alot about myself and my friendships. Half of me is desperate to stay all summer and be with these people I've come to love, but the other half of me is... dirt poor. I'll be at work a week from now, and that's a good thing. I need money, and I'm sure once I get back into my routine, I'll be happy for it. I want to be outside all the time this summer, and write. And ride on the tandem bike with my boyfriend, and eat healthy. It's going to be a wonderful summer.

On A Magazine, A Play, and A Tragedy

2007-04-19T21:44:00.000-05:00

To those of you who care (I can think of three, and their initials are J,M,C - and they happen to be the only regular commenters on this blog): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 I'm published! In the tiniest of venues, but nonetheless, seeing my words, my very own insignificant thoughts, in print, is like a tall, sweating glass of ice water on a summer's day. Truly refreshing. Might even be enough to inspire me to write, God willing.

Tonight, I accompanied two friends to Gannon's production of Tim Robbins' Dead Man Walking; of course, I've seen the movie, and loved it then. It was just as good, and different, on stage in the flesh. The script was very similar to the movie's, and the students playing Helen Prejean and Matthew Poncelet were fantastic. The stage was set up in a very unconventional fashion, which lent to the play's varied scenes and diverse characters. I enjoyed it, and it got all three of us to thinking quite a bit more than we thought we would. The more I think about it, the more I don't agree at all with capital punishment.

And then, something like the Virginia Tech tragedy happens, and my wires get all crossed again. If that was my sister, brother, friend, child - I know I would be ready with my own gun to shoot that young man right where it hurts -- or at least I would want to, instinctively. But I don't know if that's right. The whole message of Dead Man Walking is one of forgiveness, mercy, love, peace, and redemption -- and I know the message would have been the same without Christianity being involved (so, no, I'm not playing the religion card). Regardless of what particular faith you prescribe to, murder is wrong, and human life is sacred. I want to say that Cho Seung-Hui should be forgiven, but I can't. I can't say that because I can only begin to imagine the horrible, unending despair that all those families and loved ones must be going through at this very minute. And just like I said back in January about abortion: who am I to say what is right or wrong in a situation I am not in?

My thoughts and love are with every person affected by this deplorable thing that has happened, and that's all I - or anyone, for that matter - can do.

Where are you, Springtime? Why can't I find you?

2007-04-14T17:13:00.000-05:00

It's currently 38 degrees and 6:30. What the HELL is wrong with this place?!

Weather Gods, I would appreciate if you would tell us what we did to offend you. Maybe we can work out some sort of arrangement. I wouldn't mind more snow next winter as long as we get our springtime, straight from April til June. Lemme know, okay? Thanks.

Don Imus is an idiot, granted, but why does it seem that no one realized that til this whole Rutgers incident? Isn't that what he's making $10 million a year to do - make lewd and uncalled-for comments about people of any race and sex? I mean, yeah, that was a dumb thing to say and it shouldn't be tolerated, but why now? He's been doing this for twenty years. I've read about his producers making rude comments about deaf people, gays, Catholics, the NY Knicks, etc. ANYONE and everyone. I just don't see how giving the situation this much attention in the media, and attributing this much weight to it by firing him and pulling all that sponsorship, is going to do anything but cause more friction. Now he's gonna go get a Sirius Satellite Show where he can say whatever he damn well pleases and pull in huge numbers, à la Howard Stern. I just think it's kind of ridiculous. The media is probably the root of all evil, as far as I'm concerned, but what can ya do?...

On a lighter note, today the girls and I sat in the hallway, first playing the "Ha Ha" game (thanks Katie, for that stroke of genius) and then "Never Have I Ever" which was fun and somewhat interesting. It reminded me of our pre-pubescent days of "Truth or Dare" and just plain "Truth" when it was just us girls. I sort of miss playing those silly games and relaxing and relishing in friendship and laughter and silliness. Sometimes in this college 'real' world, we get caught up in schoolwork and running all over, that we don't take the time to just sit with eachother and enjoy our friends for who they are deep down. It's not that I don't spend alot of time with the girls, I do - probably 80% of my time - but rarely do we find ourselves laying in the hallway, just talking and laughing. Those times may not be the ones that come first to my mind when I look back on fun times with friends, but they're the ones that really matter in the end...

Jon, Levi and I made spaghetti and chocolate chip cookies last night. Well, Levi kind of just sat there and waited for them to be cooked, but he lent his support. I love spending time at Jon's house - it feels like a second home to me. We all played Mad Gab and watched Air Force One and enjoyed eachother's company. Then I tucked Jon into bed at midnight so he could get a good night's rest before he started work again this morning, and I drove back to Erie. Driving on the interstate at night is relaxing somehow, all that dark and the open road and being able to go fast without cars anywhere in sight... Maybe I'm just happy cause I was driving in my car... that makes it more special.

Well, I've wasted most of this day, so I might get down to business here now. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Jelly Beans are Gross

2007-04-10T20:03:00.000-05:00

I think I used to like them, maybe the Starburst ones, but those days are long gone. If it's not chocolate, count me out. Anyways, jelly beans are the kind of thing that leak their ghastly taste to less hardy things, such as squishy yummy Tootsie Rolls. I witnessed this gross phenomenon just a minute ago. A jelly-bean-flavored Tootsie Roll is not a good thing.

So, Easter, eh? Mine was good, and yours? I can't say it meant much more to me than being able to see my family, and Jon's family, and getting alot of chocolate in a pastel-colored basket. And that's good enough reason to celebrate for me. Other than that, my lil break was pretty uneventful. Watched Laurel Canyon and listened to some Bob Marley at Jon's (the latter courtesy of Levi) - which reminds me, Interpol is good! which reminds me, I downloaded some music at the library yesterday cause I'm a parasite, and, and, Regina Spektor is good too! I recommend her - and I slept about ten hours per night, and I hung out with all the UC folks and some Cambridge and Saegertown folks at Ashley's, annnnnnd, last but not least, I got my car registered! Yay! This beauty...
is now mine and officially and legally driveable. So it's old, so it's outdated, so freakin' what?! I worked my ass off for many, many hours this summer and bought every square inch of that car with my OWN money. I know of few people my age who can say the same ;) So it means alot to me to have it finally; this is the first time that I've had my own vehicle that I could drive without asking if it was okay. It feels great.

In other news, I like to sleep and I like to eat chocolate. That's the highlight of my life as of the past few days. I'm basically a slug. Get back to me when something extraordinary has happened, and then I'll deliver some high-quality bloggage.

Oh, also, please will you just read the Dark Tower series? Cause it's simply amazing in every possible way and I would love for more people to read it. You will thank me later.

Books, Glorious Books

2007-04-01T15:56:00.000-05:00

As if I haven't already totally convinced you of my utter nerdacity, I want to let you in on a lil secret.

I love libraries.

Jon has already witnessed this a couple of times, but I don't think even he truly understands my fascination with the places. Bookstores are almost as cool, but there's just something about a library: a couple hundred-thousand books that may date back several decades, having been handled and read and adored by maybe dozens of people. When I checked out Stephen King's The Waste Lands the other day, (yes I'm already on book three and I only started them two weeks ago - aren't I efficient?) I had to crack open the cover and investigate the borrowing history. I then imagined all the previous readers of this exact copy of this book and wonder what they thought of it. Did they love it as much as I'm sure I will? Did they look forward to reading it, unable to put it down? Or did it go untouched in their dorm room for a couple of weeks, a half-assed attempt at absorbing good literature? I envision a burly twenty-something taking grad courses at Gannon who finds himself browsing the fiction shelves on February twenty-first and something catches his eye - "Hey, didn't I read the first two of that series back in high school? I never got around to this one though..." And so it begins.

I even like to see remnants of previous readers on the pages of the book. Great passages underlined in ballpoint pen, dog-eared corners (sometimes at very random spots - I make sure to never dog-ear a page and pause my reading unless it is at an appropriate break in the narrative... I mean, ... don't you, too, or am I weird?), smears of raspberry jam, coffee spills. Sometimes I find myself a tad grossed out at the Mystery Markings - the brown splotch or strange yellowish wash to a certain few pages tends to turn my stomach.

But at least it's got a history - a library book becomes a member of a community of books with living, breathing histories. The emotions that each reader feels as they slowly turn the pages are left behind, buried in the stream of words that the writer has bestowed upon the world. Borrowers leaving their mark behind for the next delighted reader, browsers shifting through the pages when a colorful spine catches their eye... and just imagine these books as having consciences. Imagine what a book must feel, shelved next to so many other comparable works, especially in the fiction section where the F. Scott Fitzgeralds of the literary world are placed right beside the poor Penelope Fitzgeralds. I can see Penelope's sad story becoming eagerly optimistic at the approach of a friendly stranger... and then... to no avail, just a high-minded undergrad seeking out "The Great Gatsby". I almost feel bad for those poor books who never see anything but the dusty volumes across the aisle and careless browsers walking on by. Maybe one of these days, when my moderately long list of To-Reads has shrunk to nothing, I'll grab up an unknown and give it a try. That lonely book will probably be one of mine someday, and I can only hope that there are nice people such as myself out in the world who are willing to give any book a try. ;)

I guess I can dedicate this entry to Mom, for taking me to every library within driving distance and letting me explore. And also for somehow tricking me into wanting to read... I count myself lucky for that.