I’m doing two online university courses and in one of them, a person decided to be rude and insulting. Having discussed with the person publicly first, trying to dissolve the tension with humour, it quickly turned out that he is simply a self-righteous dicks.

Thus feeling wronged, I wrote to the tutor in private. I made a big mistake though: I apologized for the inconvenience the open conflict caused to the course-flow and acknowledge that I might have been too eager to help my fellow students.

The tutor decided to avoid the conflict to the point of telling me to change my behaviour, without addressing the aggressor. He copped out by saying that I have to fine-tune my interaction with the other participants.

I was appalled but I decided to not over-react and move on.

But I’m still angry – why was I targeted as the bad one here? Wasn’t I the victim?
Why aren’t tutors trained to handle conflicts? Why I’m feeling like an idiot now?

I will go on with the course but it sure as hell pisses me off.

UPDATE:  After corresponding with the tutor (and clarifying my thoughts about his treatment towards me), we came to the agreement that there was a lack of care. The fellow student felt patronised, likely due to my gender and age and his fear of failure. Having worked things out with the tutor, I feel much better about the course again, and about me! I’m glad I brought it up, it worked in my favour

Shoes

I also got a third pair that I can’t, for the life of me find a picture of. They are super preppy looking tennis shoes.

Shirts

Just some nice basics.

Jackets

The latter light cardigan isn’t an exact match to what I bought, mine is light blue and has some draping.

Boyfriend’s Jeans

And this is what my boyfriend found! A pair of dark regular fitted jeans.

female clothing pictures @ h&m.de
male clothing picture      @ zara.de

Sports

Crosstrainer – Kettler’s AXOS Cross P, it was a pricey but a good investment. Both the boyfriend and I are using this regularly, perfect for crazy cold German winters (that make you want to cuddle up in bed, not run around outside).

Dumbbells – We already own a few dumbbells but we had none in a low weight. We got those cool chromed ones in 2 x 2.5kg, 2 x 1.25kg & 2 x 0.5kg for 25€ off of ebay

Pull-up bar – The boyfriend was longing for one of those and we finally got it. Will be installed tomorrow!

Fashion

Jeans – I desperately needed a pair of jeans. After searching for ages for a flared kind that wasn’t designed for a giant, I gave up and bought those low-waisted skinny legged ones. I still have to roll up the legs!

Blazer – I LOVE this one! I was looking at it every day for about a fortnight until I decided that I just have to have it. It was on sale too. It’s very lightweight, looks great with jeans and converse and satisfies my love of “college style” fashion.

Beauty

Face & Hand wipes – Usually a rather unspectacular product, but those are mango & coconut scented and that makes them awesome (They also have versions in ginger & lime and vanilla bean.)

Lipstick – I’m usually not a big lipstick wearer, but I had swatched this one quite a few times and really really liked it. Alterra is a natural cosmetics brand and the lipstick colour I bought is called “Terra” (=Earth). It’s a cool, earthy pink and pretty much the ultimative everyday colour.

Gifts

Papa - Some small gifts for my dad. He will be installing the pull-up bar from above and that is his thank you. From left to right:
A collection of stamps (trains, fauna, flora) // chinese, additive-free jasmine tea // Chili-cherry chocolate with 70% cacao.

Mama – Some goodies for my mum too. She invites the boyfriend and I frequently and cooks for us and basically buries us in food stuff. She deserves some pampering!
From left to right:
Green apple scented bubbly bathing essence // Macademia nut body butter for very dry skin // Shimmery pink coloured Manhattan nailpolish with the serial number “59G”.

Sister – There is no particular reason why I got some little things for my sister. We get along alright lately and that seemed reason enough. From left to right:
Green apple scented bubbly bathing essence (again) // Face & hand wipes from H&M in “ginger & lime” // “Love-in-a-mist” (nigella damascena) flowering mix (she has a garden) // 5 easter egg colouring tablets (thinking of her kids).

I might have also gotten something for the boyfriend… but he is reading this blog, so shh!

Books, recently gotten as gifts:

Valentine’s Gift – The perfect coffee table book. Written by Marcus Chown and containing high-gloss images of planets, moons and other heavenly bodies that orbit the sun.
It taught me that 15 billion billion billion bananas would be es hot as the sun and that Neptune was predicted before it was discovered!

Christmas Gift N°1 – On 13th December 2012, the story will come alive on the screens, but I felt it was impossible to go and watch the movie without having read the book! I’m half way through and I’m happy to report that I am really enjoying it. If you have read the Lord of the Ring series and loved it, you will love this one too. (PS: Gandalf is bad-ass!)

Christmas Gift N°2 – I have not read this one yet. It’s about SETI, the organisation that is searching for radio signals from outer space. Paul Davies is trying to explain (so far I can tell) why we haven’t heard anything from alien species yet, perhaps because there is nothing out there? The chances for life emerging are tightly linked to certain events happening, the blind man may hasn’t perchance hit the mark. Or maybe there is life out there that is not able to pick up our radio signals or send any themselves or perhaps they aren’t interested at all. What would each implication mean for us? Looking forward to reading this one.

Books, which will be purchased soon:

Oxford Online Course “Political Philosophy” N°1 – I will be starting this course in late April and this is one of the required textbooks. What is a state? What freedoms do people need and should be provided with? How much (or how little) should everyone have? What did Hobbes, Locke & Co have to say about society and its perks? I had a bit of political philosophy in (business) school and am very much looking forward to talking the old masters again.

Oxford Online Course “Political Philosophy” N°2 – Another required textbook. From what I’ve heard, a collection of original political texts. Due to this, I expect some of them to be dense and hard to grasp but I usually enjoy this. I have done another Oxford Philosophy course before (Philosophy of Science) and used a similar compilation of texts and liked the challenge to really understand the thought process of the original proponent.

Oxford Online Course “Origins of Human Behaviour” – The second course I will be trying is from the Archaeology department. I hope this course to be a keyhole-look into biological anthropology and judging by the book, focused entirely on human evolution instead of general evolution like most books, I might get my wish

Which books have you gotten or purchased lately?

(Artist: Yuri Laptev)

1. I long for nature and under-population every single day.
2. I love university memorabilia.
3. Religion scares me.
4. I wish there was no legal tender.
5. I can’t stand people who are unable to answer a question with an audible “.” in the end.
6. I really dislike children.
7. I enjoy studying so much, I do it for fun.
8. My nightmares tend to involve masses of people crushing each other to death.
9. I get so attached to characters in books, that I start to read very slow when a series comes to an end and switch to textbooks after it ended, as to not offend the character’s memory.
10. My biggest dream is to be accepted at a university (any university).
11. I don’t own a TV, a mobile phone, a car or a personal bank account.
12. Seeing parents kiss their children on the mouth makes me uncomfortable.
13. I love fashion but I hate stores.
14. I have a regularly-listened-to favourite artist in every century starting from 1920.
15. I feel that the disbelief and non-acceptance of people regarding the mentally ill, is worse of a problem than their symptoms.
16. I feel guilty going past homeless people.
17. I can not, no matter how hard I try, fathom why and how people “believe”.
18. I secretly dream of discovering a new animal or plant.
19. I want to be an astrobiologist, because I think extremophiles are just like superheroes.
20. I blame my parents for many things, but am too afraid to speak up.
21. I can convince people to tell me everything without being manipulative.
22. I have very low self esteem but am exceptionally good at hiding it.
23. I have dyscalculia and it’s ruining my career prospects.
24. I have – to different degrees – five phobias (luckily non about the letter “A”!): Agoraphobia (fear of a leaving a safe place) Anthropophobia (fear of [the concept of and the interaction with] society) Arachnophobia ( fear of spiders) Athazagoraphobia (fear of being forgotten) Emetophobia (fear of vomiting)
25. I could eat bacon and red currant berries for the rest of my life.
26. I’m scared about the possibility that I may not be able to travel anymore.
27. Fountain pens are my wanted luxury good.
28. I can’t run longer than 3 minutes tops.
29. I can however dance  and walk for many hours.
30. My favourite author died 2418 years ago. (My favourite book premiered 2441 years ago.)
31. Even though it is ridiculous, I still want people to be proud of me (and say so).
32. I wish I had a washing machine (but the laundromat is cheaper).
33. My favourite smell is petrichor.
34. I admire many people for their work but hardly anyone for their personality.
35. One day, I hope to feel at peace with my mind.

I shall name this “Rundle Mall Date” (the main mall in Adelaide, Australia), because it is sexy, yet laid back. (The cute bottle with the bat on it? Bug repelled parfume!)

“Spring Wedding Guest”, simply because might be attending one of those in the future… probably the most girly outfit I’d ever considered. (I WANT those shoes!)

“Call the Marines”, now aren’t I creative I love flared and boot-cut jeans and this sea side inspired look is one I definitely wear. (I shall not reveal the price of the bag… because it’s outrageous.)

“Turquoise Summer”, feminine and weather appropriate. Very much loving this one. (3/4 sleeves are always beautiful – always.)

And that’s it. I promise, I will post something more substantial soon! It’s hard being torn between science and girly mood, you know.

PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOST HANDSOME BOYFRIEND!

May you live long and prosper and whatever you may wish to do, we will boldly go and make it so!

all the above from www.modcloth.com
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Flowers blossoming
Have you heard the bird sing yet?
A new spring haiku.

{(c) me.}

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all the below from www.anthropologie.eu

Nowadays, if someone owns one privately, it is usually a collection of arts, fossils and travel souvenirs. I have written before about my love for private libraries and greenhouses and just because megalomania is fun: a Wunderkammer is also on my “want” list.

What one collects is pretty much up to one’s liking; the only “rule” may be that it may be various. There are (modern) Wunderkammern containing corals, stones, taxidermy objects, art, historical instruments/laboratory objects, items in form aldehyde, fossils of all kinds, crystals, textiles, pottery,  and even historical job specific items (doctor supplies, historically relevant farming tools etc.). Collections of historical books and maps may be counted as well.

Wunderkammern can be grand museums-like displays or small, cupboard-sized projects. I will show you a few real-life examples from opulent to suitcase-friendly.

If you are rich/have lots of space/a lot of time:

A cabinet displaying everything from butterflies to globes. An extensive collection like this requires a lot of patience and a lot of cash.

A lot of taxidermy going on here. Again a display that requires money and space.

This one is a little more reasonable.
It still uses the whole room, but it requires less dedication to make or upkeep. It shows a few taxidermy objects, a few fossils and some historical instruments and old books. (The floor is beautiful too!)

The classic cupboard option.

Even in the 17th century, it was popular to have a Wunderkammerschrank, Schrank meaning “cupboard” in German.

This option still requires a spacy, sturdy cupboard and a reasonably sized collection, but it is definitely a more realistic option for most.

Bones, corals and nic nacs. A colourful array of whatever the owner found curious. Adding historical images and using a wooden cupboard gives it some class.

Here we have taxidermy, skeletons and corals. This one is great for those who want to emphasize the decorative element of Wunderkammern.

Simplicity and size.

If all this is not reasonable due to cost, time and space, one can always focus on small sized options.

Natural items and objects found in the ocean. A very simple and pretty display with minimal cost.

A simple coral display. Highly decorative and again with minimal costs involved.

And the probably most space-saving option: a wall display.

Now before you go and purchase that antique ceiling high glass case, consider a few things:

• Legality

Corals, fossils and taxidermy items are generally not allowed to take on travels. If you purchase an item over the internet, make sure it comes from a location that is legally allowed to sell the item. If the animal or plant specimen is on the verge of extinction, it shouldn’t be sold at all.

Preserving in formaldehyde may cause risks and is potentially illegal. The European Union has banned the use of formaldehyde for preserving and embalming as of 2009.

Preserved body parts are not permitted to be obtained, that includes foetuses. (Skulls may be obtained but are subject to regulations).

Artwork must be authentic. If a piece of art you obtain happens to be a yet unknown work of a famous and high-priced artist, the reasonable thing to do is to give it to an art gallery.

• Common sense

If you are offered a perfectly preserved fossil, consider two things:

A) The fossil may be a fake.

B) … and that is the more important one – if the fossil is really impressive, it should be placed in a museum. A stand-out object deserves to be displayed and used for scientific and educational purposes.

C) Some people collect “mythical” creatures on purpose, but if that’s not your thing, be aware that offers of unicorns and mermaids etc. are obviously all fake and have little scientific value (of course if you like them, go ahead!).

D) Religious items, specifically bones of “saints”, may belong to a church or an item stolen from churches. A lot of them are also subject to travel restrictions. (And most likely fake).

E) As more value your collection has (especially when it contains artwork, pottery or jewellery), as more carefully you may be about telling. You don’t want to attract “grave diggers”.

F) If your collection is valuable to you or generally valuable, consider donating it after your death. If it doesn’t contain contemporarily valuable items but has great decorative and personal value, bequeath it to your family. If it does contain valuable items, consider bequeathing it to a suitable museum or university.

Now, have fun!

While I was browsing the internet, I realized something astounding: Even when I’m looking at my favourite websites: I am bored.

I have abandoned my TV many years ago and never possessed a functioning radio. I don’t use a modern mobile (one that does more than enabling phone calls and text messages) and I don’t have or want an Ipad.
All of those things are designed to entertain us and all of those things are the reason for our collective boredom.

Has a sport event shown in TV ever inspired you to go out and play sports? Does the constant access to the internet via mobile inspire you to wikipedia Diogenianus instead of accessing facebook? Me neither.

Of course some people use the entertainment media for very creative and productive endeavours. There are plenty of successful bloggers, youtubers, plussers and app-creators out there, but in comparison to the rest of us, those appear to be a minority.
Most of us do not gain incentive and motivation from what we consume; we just absorb, temporarily store and then forget and move on. Media-Entertainment is light and superficial, it makes us addicted but only ever to new thrills.

So my vague New Year’s resolution is to find more real life entertainment and to consistently object to overconsuming of media-entertainment. No TV afternoons at the parents, no silent dreams of Blackberries and no giving in to the constant need to update social networks.

My resolution will be balance.

What’s yours?

You will also get pictures of people with handwritten signs advertising themselves. Living billboards, taking any job for any wage, often speaking multiple language and have just come back from WWI. They are emotional pictures and they leave a question: if it happened again, under what conditions would people take “any job”?

I’m myself in an interesting situation, some might call it desperate, others self-inflicted. I am unemployed with the twist that I’ve never been employed in the first place. I’m 26.

The reasons for my unemployment are the reasons why the majority of people see my status as self-produced misery (or “lazy bastard”). When I had just finished grade 12 and was about to go on to my final year of grammar school, I started having “issues”, I ended up leaving my parents and the state I lived in and landed in a psychiatry. The diagnosis I got is staying with me wherever I go, I can’t outrun the symptoms (and I moved to the other side of the world to try) but I learned to deal with them very well.

At this stage of my life, nobody would ever guess something is wrong with me. And consequently I cannot really explain the almost seven year gap in my CV, the fact that I have no traineeship in anything and no work experience whatsoever. I had been incredible lucky that first a friend, then my parents, then another friend and ultimately my boyfriend took care of me. I’m still living the life of a 12 year old – dependent on somebody, not knowing much about the “real world”, never having paid taxes, no drivers licence or higher education.

So I can ask the question to myself: If my support system finally breaks down, will I take to the streets?

I was thinking about what I would write on my board. Honesty would be fatal in my case, so what marketing strategy would work best? I was told I am good at thinking unconventionally and I can lead teams. But how to document such things? The only prizes I ever won were for dancing and poetry writing. What would I need to earn? Could I work for food? A bed? Perhaps it would look something like this:

“26 year old looking for decent job. Trained thinker, natural leader. Fluent in 2 languages. Eats little. Will work for health insurance and room.”

So, do desperate times lead to this kind of desperate measures? Do you think it will eventually come to this again? Can someone in a situation like this demand anything at all?
What would your sign read?