kneecapped

Confusing Restaurant Bathroom Signs

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 21:37:00 +0000

Bathroom Gender Benders: All Signs Point to Androgyny

They Must Be Stopped

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Wed, 16 May 2007 20:37:00 +0000

This Deadspin post stopped me in my tracks today. Mike and Mike are going to host the National Spelling Bee. Dear god help us. The spelling bee is already a ratings hit with a bunch of nerds calling the action why do they need these two toolbags?

Kneecapped Your Home For Tapir News

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 12:50:00 +0000

Since Kneecapped is the blog authority on all things tapir naturally I'm linking to this story on the front of Boston.com: a very nice tapir story and naming contest. Enjoy.

Today in Scum

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 16:50:00 +0000

Paparazzi are scum. They make one think about carpet bombing LA.

Photo of the Day

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 14:33:00 +0000

Long shadows on DeKalb Avenue, Brookyn, NY.

Accurate Clocks in Airports? C'mon, They're Not at all Necessary

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 18:17:00 +0000

Here's a sign in the baggage claim at LaGuardia Airport:

So far, so good. I am at LaGuardia.

Actual time of photograph: 7:43 PM.
Not that people’s travel depends on accurate clocks or anything.

Global Warming...On Mars!

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 20:53:00 +0000

How about we concentrate on our own global warming issues?

Also, John Edwards is really going out on a limb opposing preditory loans. That's a risky stance if I've ever seen one.

Funny Title

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 02:12:00 +0000

I was perusing The Bestest Blog of All-Time looking for new and exciting blogs and came across the funniest podcast tile I’ve ever seen. Sadly, the link went no where.

It's Alive!

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 17:51:00 +0000

The new site I've been working on is now up and running! I'll be posting there Monday - Friday. Stop by and take a look, there's much more than blogging going on.

Link of the Day: Baby Tapirs!

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 16:48:00 +0000

Since Kneecapped is the blogging authority on all things tapirs I was pleased when Yahoo! featured this story on Sunday morning.

Pyramid Mystery Solved?

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 20:28:00 +0000

I saw this interesting article on Yahoo! about a new theory explaining how the pyramids were built. Here's my favorite part:

"Houdin, 56, brushed aside concerns about the popular curse which is supposed to punish those who penetrate the secrets of the pyramids, dating back to the opening of Tutankhamun tomb.

"Why should I be worried? I'm just explaining that the people of the time were architects of genius and that Khufu was a genius to order the pyramid's construction. What could happen to me, except that Khufu would thank me?," he told Reuters shortly before being struck by a bus."

More Q Train Madness

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 12:25:00 +0000

Here's the final installment of my Nikon Coolpix 775/iMovie/Q Train Trilogy.

Peter Travers calls it “An epic tour de force of massive scale. Q Train III explodes off the screen!”

Please enjoy.

If you want to catch the "Empire-esque" middle film of the trilogy you can find it on my Youtube page.

Did I Almost Miss Dude Lighten Up Thursday?

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 21:58:00 +0000

Yes, I did almost miss "Dude Lighten Up Thursday" the most popular and only weekly Kneecapped feature. This week we have Tim Keown of ESPN.com. I actually read Tim's "List" column every week, mainly because it's short and good for the bathroom. Tim is an old fashioned contrarian and can find fault in just about anything that's popular, which is fine I guess. His picture, however, is not. Mr. Keown, you are this week's DLUT. How about not looking so smug and lighten up a little?

Dude, lighten up.

More Fun With Yahoo News

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 19:45:00 +0000

After un-crossing his fingers Mueller added, "We just chose not to."

It's Hard Being a Seal

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 19:33:00 +0000

So, basically what you're saying is our habitat is fucked, but you will continue hunting us. Thanks, as if being a seal weren't hard enough.

The Demise of Kneecapped.

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 02:55:00 +0000

Kneecapped has been on a steady decline the past few months. Most of it is my fault. I was slowing things down and was pretty much on a part time schedule. Then I had my biggest night ever right after the State of the Union Address and I got sucked back into it. Kneecapped is a seductive mistress, she is. This past week, however, has taken a toll on this here site.

First off, I’m going to bitch about Technorati for a minute. Technorati doesn’t credit all of all my links. Geoff has linked to me a bunch of times, but Technorati has not picked up on this and other links as well. I linked to The Bestest Blog of All Time with a promise of getting a link in return. It was a weak moment I know, but I’m a link whore, okay. Sue me. The punishment for my vanity? Technorati has not credited this link either.

Second, Technorati took away three of my links. So what if they were links from porn directories attracted to my blog because of my extensive writings on tapirs and the weirdoes who search for sex photos of the beast? They shouldn’t have taken my links away especially since they don’t credit me for the legitimate sites that link here.

The downfall of Kneecapped doesn’t stop there. What happened next? Well, TrailerSpy, a site I linked to in its infancy because my wife knew the girl who was starting it up, dropped me from their blogroll. They had returned the favor to me adding me to their “Friends of TrailerSpy” list, but I went back on their site and my link is gone. True, my site only gets 20 hits per day and I’m routinely ignored throughout the blogosphere, but does that give you the right to throw me away like so many “Employee of the Month” DVDs? Getting axed from their site, though probably warranted, stings like a bitch.

Lastly, my Google page rank was just downgraded from a “3” to a”2”. If you’re familiar with page rank you know the difference between ranks is infinite. Or in other words, my blog is infinitely less relevant than it was two days ago. Infinitely! In two days!

These are not promising signs for Kneecapped and a wiser man would pack up the mailbag, bid “adieu”, and maybe write for another blog. But what of this other blog you ask? Well, its tied up in legal, but it should be up and running in about 5 - 6 months.

During times like these I like to think back to the immortal words of my man Big Daddy Kane:

“Anything goes when it comes to prose, cuz blogging ain’t easy.” *

*With word play like that it’s a wonder this blog hasn’t taken off. Or is it a wonder that I’m married? Either/or.

The Q Train

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 14:09:00 +0000

Shot yesterday with a Nikon Coolpix 775 camera and edited on iMovie. Enjoy.

New Template

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 18:46:00 +0000

All I wanted was to have my labels on my front page and now my template is all messed up. Please bear with me, the template you know and love will be new and improved shortly.

Thursday - What to Do? What to Do?

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 12:47:00 +0000

Okay, LOST was on last night so that makes today Thursday. What do I have to do on Thursday? I need to move my car, I know that, but there’s something else, something important. Oh, right, DUDE LIGHTEN UP THURSDAY! That's right, today is once again Dude Lighten Up Thursday, your favorite and only weekly Kneecapped feature.

This week’s DLUT is a first ballot Hall of Famer, go ahead and ask him. He’ll tell you straight out, because he just thinks he’s the best. Welcome to DLUT, Mike Francesa, co-host of Mike and the Mad Dog! Oh, don’t argue baseball with this guy, and don’t go near the horses, because he’s always right and when he isn’t he doesn’t acknowledge it! A brilliant strategy indeed and one I hope to adopt in my own life. No, that wouldn’t put me on the fast track to divorce, are you kidding me? Never admitting when you’re wrong is my new creed. One more fact, did you know that Mike Francesa is the reason the term “blowhard” exists? Look it up, it’s true.

It’s lonely at the top Mike, I know, Kneecapped can relate. Don’t worry, perhaps next week I’ll promote that human nasal passage partner of yours, but for now soak in your glory and maybe lighten up.

Dude, lighten up.

Don't Forget Reggie

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 12:28:00 +0000

I’m not one to pick nits, but this picture of Kevin Durant in a Celtics #35 jersey is an impossibility.

R.I.P. Reggie Lewis.

Kneecapped Gossip Report

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 14:45:00 +0000

I came across this gossip item while perusing Gawker this morning. Can you think of anything more awkward than attending a karaoke party and Lindsay Lohan, an “accomplished” pop singer, keeps getting up to sing without the advantage of a Pro Tools mix and calibrated microphones? Then factor in that her voice is ravaged from drinking, smoking, and snorting everything she could get her hands on over the past few years. Her friends must have a hard time keeping a straight face.

“That was like totally great Lind, you totally sounded like Fiona Apple on that one. You’re like one gifted singer. Yo, can I get a bump?”

“Yeah Lindsay, you’re voice is like just as totally powerful as Christina’s. Yo, can we order bottle service? I need a Red Bull vodka.”

If I were a studio-reliant pop singer the last thing I would consider would be singing karaoke in public. But when you’re a huge attention whore I guess even making a fool of yourself gets you off. See.

Kneecapped on the Wagon: Day 2

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 17:41:00 +0000

The season of resolutions is long behind us, and not to get all Logged Hours on you, but in light of my St. Patrick's Day debauchery Kneecapped is going on the wagon until April 18th. I'm working on my second day, but stay tuned for angry, alcohol deprived posts throughout next month!

New Blogs to Entertain You

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 15:41:00 +0000

Here are few strange and interesting blogs from friends of mine: The Back Of Your Head and Jim Bobby's Blog

Photo of the Day

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 13:45:00 +0000

No, it's not 1977 (or even 2005), but that hasn't stopped the U.S. Postal Service from decorating their mail boxes as R2D2. With non-stop Star Wars marathons airing on the HBO channels, the Trilogy has been making quite the comeback this month.

St. Patrick's Day Part II: The Day After

noreply@blogger.com (RT) — Sun, 18 Mar 2007 22:27:00 +0000

St. Patrick's Day was fun. We hung out at Iggy's on Ludlow which had three dollar drafts including delicious Guinness. They also featured three dollar "Drunken Leprechaun" shots which I kept calling "Drunken Irishmen" shots most of the night and definitely offending the Irish bartender. What is a Drunken Leprechaun? It’s Jameson, Bailey's and Crème de Menthe and had the consistency and color of melted mint chocolate ice cream.

And this is what it looked like after drinking it.