Knocked Up By Another Man....

It's been awhile....

2013-05-20T23:11:00.002-08:00

It's been awhile since I've visited this space. Frankly, I was a little depressed, then a little cranky, then super vacation busy, and now crazed from our move. I was pretty sure that if I blogged, cranky posts would have ruled. So I just avoided it.

The month of depression was January. The combination of freezing temperatures and dark dark days slapped me upside the head after the holidays. Seriously, having about five hours of lackluster sunlight per a day messes with my mind. While I love Alaska, I will not miss the month of January! The event that catupulted me into the depression was finding out that if we sold our house, we would be paying for all of the realtor fees and selling costs out of pocket. That was not in my master plan.

After I finally dug myself out of my dark hole and started looking for property managers to rent out my house, we were already into February. The estimates of what we could rent our house out for and the terrible terms of most of the property managers made me incredibly cranky. At the same time, I was looking for weeks to see if I could get a Space-A* flight out of Alaska to somewhere in California. While usually flight would run every week, there was a dry spell where nothing was going to the right side of the country. I was miserable and desperately hoping to get home for a little love from my family.

Finally a flight to SoCal hit the rotation and I was elated. I packed my bags, loaded E up, made it on the flight, and settled onto the C-17 only to have my son scream bloody murder for the hour we were delayed on the runway. We got off before it departed. The lesson I learned? Practice using earplugs before the trip or invest in some heavy duty noise canceling headphones. :D

With Space-A firmly relegated to something we should do when E is older, I bit the bullet and booked two tickets to spend three weeks in California.

By then it was March. While I was eagerly waiting for my trip, I got a call that my mom fell while substituting and broke her hip. Although she's 65, my mom is NOT old enough for something like that to happen! Thankfully, she's a trooper and dealt with her surgery, subsequent infection and jumped right into her PT.

The same night that I found out about my mom, E made his own trip to the ER when he tumbled out of a shopping cart. When it happened, I was horribly upset with myself. However, now that I know he's fine, it's simmered down to out-right mortification.

Finally in late March, we flew to California where we played in the sun, hit lots of parks, got together with old friends, hit Disneyland and spent lots n' lots of time soaking up time with the fam. I can't even tell you how much the trip just rejuvenated me. At the same time, the time with my family and friends made me miss being around people with whom I have deep connections.

When we got home in April, we immediately started getting ready for our big move to Kansas. Since the snow stuck around so long this year, we've been really busting through the outdoor maintenance we needed to do before our new tenants move in. Time has passed so quickly and now the movers are coming tomorrow. I can't believe it's already here!

Anyway, thanks for hanging around and being patient with my lack of posts.

xoxo

*For those not familiar with military-speak, Space-A is one of the privileged perks to military families where we hop on the extra space of flights that the Air Force is running a mission on. It's not super easy or comfy, but it can get you places for almost nothing!

Vegetable confusion.

2013-04-01T22:39:00.000-08:00

So, no one ever tells you about this type of toddler conundrum...

Tonight we were sitting at my parent's dining table in California after dishing up some deeeelish Chinese food (of which I can't get in Alaska). The much spoiled grandchild was sitting at the head of the table flanked by Granny and Papa.

While he was busy tasting all of the dishes, I noticed that he was enjoying his veggies. So I speared a piece of sautéed squash and passed it to Granny to give to E. He took it, and papa said, "mmmmh a cucumber." I didn't want him to be surprised when he tasted it, so I explained that it was a piece of squash.

E looked at it, grabbed it off his fork and squeezed it.

As the liquid dripped out of it, I exclaimed at him, "Oh, don't do that!"

He said, "squash."

And then I got it. Squash.

My son squashed the squash.

That's toddler logic for you!!!

xoxo

Happy blogger news....!

2013-02-15T21:13:00.000-09:00

Such happy news for SIF...check it out!

xoxo

A New Day

2013-01-01T22:26:00.003-09:00

It's blowing my mind that we are in 2013.

Although I initially planned to dedicate December to extolling my love of E, I couldn't do it after Sandy Hook. Once the dedications to each victim started appearing all over social media, I just felt gutted. As a mother, I just kept picturing losing E. Logically I know that none of that should stop me from celebrating my child, but I couldn't write it.

As December moved along, I went through a bevy of emotions after a seriously long cycle and then a crappy period. I'm pretty sure I was a rotten witch to my husband most of the time. With my mom here from Thanksgiving to Christmas, I indulged in some fabulous cookies, chocolate laced banana bread and cinnamon rolls. I'm pretty sure my bum is still spreading from those, but it was worth it.

Christmas itself was a picture perfect day. Scheduling a late Christmas Day dinner around E's nap time made him a happy and cheerful little boy.

More than anything, I loved how excited he was about opening presents this year, making our gingerbread house, and having guests over for dinner. Hearing him say "cistmis" and "santa" in his little voice was something I hope I never forget.

Before I knew it, Christmas was over, the tree was down and my mom was back in California. That gave me some serious blues for day or two. I regrouped though and started reflecting on the year and making some new plans. Typically I don't make New Year's resolutions because they don't typically work. Yet this year, I have some distinct efforts that deserve to be amped up.

1. To eat less processed foods.

2. To increase my sporadic exercising to consistent activity.

3. To be okay with whatever happens on our last FET.

4. To put down my iphone more.

I hope that 2013 is an amazing year for all of us. Happy New Year!

xoxo

E Love Day 7: My little helper

2012-12-12T21:21:00.003-09:00

E cracks me up in so many ways. However, one of the things that I adore is that E loves to jump in and help around the house. Check it out...

Baking cookies with Granny. Notice the amount of flour on his shirt and the fact that his little man is also on the counter.

Helping Daddy with the lawn mower.

Giving the hint that mommy should vacuum.

Look ma no hands (while) I mash!

Watering flowers in California.

Shredding with daddy (of course under supervision)

Turning on the lights.

Feeding Sweetpea...although it looks like she's helping herself. He can get the food out of the pantry, scoop the food, take it to her bowl, dump it, and return.

With his little yellow shovel (which matches daddy) he loves shoveling snow!!!

Besides these wonderful things, he's really a little fanatical about dusting. He has very specific ideas about which duster he should get to use too. He also adores grabbing baby wipes from my bag or the kitchen and wiping down the walls and our coffee table.

Sap, I tell ya! But, I love it!

xoxo

Ruler done!

2012-12-08T22:51:00.003-09:00

Pinterest made me do it.

Really.

I had to make this cute ruler for E's growth chart. Since we move so much, I needed something that I could bring with me as we traverse across the country. I adored this one because it reminds me of marking my height on my grandparents door trim every summer.

The ruler is super easy to make, but it took me awhile in between getting the board stained (thank you hubby) and actually getting the measurements marks done. It's been languishing in my laundry room for the last month mocking me when I actually washed our clothes. :)

If you want to make one, head on over to 517 creations for a quick tutorial.

xoxo

E Lovefest Day 6

2012-12-08T21:18:00.004-09:00

In celebration of day six of my lovefest, I have to share with you that my boy is a CUDDLER.

After he wakes up in the morning, he grabs onto me like a monkey and generally refuses to walk to the living room. We sit down with his milk, pop on some 'toons, and snuggle. Rinse and repeat after nap time.

Before I put him down to sleep for nap and night-nights, I sit with him in a chair in his room and do more snuggling. I gather the necessary supplies of: a binky, two blankies, a sippy cup, and my iphone and put him in the crook of my arm. When daddy is around, he wraps the blankets around him like a taco. "Taco!" E will exclaim. We'll sit there together until a) E falls asleep, b) Mommy wakes up from falling asleep, or c) when I'm done at 30 min to an hour. The purpose is not necessarily for him to go to sleep but to calm down and go into sleep mode.

I love the warmth of him all snuggled up with me. Whether or not it is a quiet snuggle or a babbling snuggle, it's one of my favorite times of the day.

xoxo

E Love: Day 5

2012-12-05T20:56:00.003-09:00

For my fifth day of my E love fest, I present to you this picture:

because it makes me laugh. Seriously, how does he get into these positions?

xoxo

Day 4: Reader

2012-12-04T22:22:00.003-09:00

I'm a reader. I don't just read, I actually devour books like they have an expiration date. So I really adore the fact that my son loves to read.

Today he decided to have "soree ime" (story time) like we do at Kindermusik class. This meant he had to spread his blanket down before he could open his book. Adorable!

Love!!

xoxo

Day 3: My little swimmer

2012-12-03T23:44:00.002-09:00

Monday night happens to be one of my very favorite nights of the week because it's SWIM CLASS!

Last Spring

My son, the water bug, propels himself around the pool with ease. His legs churn the water constantly while his arms help him balance upright. We work on a few skills each class, but mainly we just enjoy the water and being together. He laughs and smiles most of the time we are there. Although on a bad day he might howl or scowl at me when I make him float on his back. I love it when he owlishly blinks the water out of his eyes from going under.

Compared to the freezing temperatures outside, the place we swim at is an oasis of warmth. No, I'm not exaggerating. The pool is kept at 91 degrees and the room is a humid sauna. It's bliss. Of course, when we exit the building, my wet hair freezes and my little eskimo runs across the parking lot holding my hand.

I don't care though. I just love that he loves to be there.

xoxo

Day 2: Binky

2012-12-02T15:55:00.001-09:00

If there is one thing in this world that my son loves more than anything, it's his binky. As I peruse through his pictures, I find that even at two years old about half of them have the binky in! Considering that we've been working on getting rid of it since the summer, it's still in a lot!

Believe me, I've heard my fair share from binky-judgers over the last two years. (Eye Roll) I tend to be a tad bit sensitive about someone judging my parenting skills, so my inner self wants to sarcastically slice and dice people who venture onto the binky-judging mat.

Our first shot at weaning the binky was fantastic and we had him down to nap and nights only in about two seconds. Then we went New York. Ten hour flights, the four hour time difference, and long days of sightseeing and restaurants totally did me in and I soon let him have his binky all day long just to get through.

The second try was more difficult as E was aware of my efforts to whisk his binky away at opportune moments. That ended with our first trip to California and was nailed in on our second trip.

As you can see, I'm totally not above using it as a method of getting him to smile and look at the camera.

So now we are on our third and final attempt. I've resorted to gorilla tactics for detaching him from the binky in the morning without him devolving into a tantrum.

My son loves his binky. And me? I'm eternally grateful to the genius that came up with them as it's given him so much simple comfort over the last two years.

Sigh, my baby is growing up.

xoxo

The start of my love fest.

2012-12-01T14:31:00.004-09:00

At the tender age of two, E already has soooooo much personality. Everyday I just marvel at his mere existence. I can totally understand how parents get all wrapped up in their own child. Because, well darn it, kids are just cool. Mine is no exception.

So for December, I'm going to be highlighting my love of this little boy. December is going to be a love fest. So prepare yourself for some sap.

Day 1: Those eyes. There are so many times during the day where he turns his attention towards me and looks for approval, to see how I'll react, or to find the next fun thing I'll do. Often times I'll turn around and just see him checking out what I'm doing.

xoxo

Across the Street

2012-11-30T15:21:00.000-09:00

Right now I'm looking at my infertility from across the street. I'm still infertile. I still want a second child. But for right now, I've parked myself on the other side of the road.

While it's great to take a rest from the injections, travel, and heartache, I'm anxious to move on to FET #3. This wait is definitely a lesson in patience for me.

Meanwhile, I have had people from various parts of my life share their infertility journeys with me recently.

One pregnant on the first IVF.
One got pregnant on IVF#1 and miscarried. Now is currently pregnant from FET#1 but is scared shitless from spotting.
One just taking a possible step into IVF.

It feels like a zillion of my bloggy friends are pregnant...some with surprise pregnancies after adoption or after primary infertility, while other pregnancies have come from more rounds of IVF.

I'm cheering for everybody.

Enjoying my little man.

And...being patient.

xoxo

It's a Turkey!

2012-11-22T21:16:00.001-09:00

For the past three Thanksgivings, we've had this incredible turkey to be thankful for.

2010 - 1 month old

2011 - 13 months old

2012 - 2 years 1 month old

He's definitely changed my life and me in more ways than I can count. I'm so thankful to have him and all all of my family here to celebrate with. I hope you had a great day too.

xoxo

Nice question.

2012-11-21T23:05:00.001-09:00

So today I got my medical screening for some insurance. Conveniently, the tech came to our house to collect my vitals and fluids. When she rang the doorbell, my dog Sweetpea came to the door barking. I did the rigamarole about checking to see if they liked dogs, blah, blah, blah.

And then, then she asked me if my dog was pregnant.

WTF.

No, my f'ing dog is not pregnant (and neither am I btw).

Then, thennnn she asks, well why is she so big?

Um....really?

My 80 pound American Bulldog is so big because she's an American Bulldog!

I can't believe she called my dog fat.

xoxo

Off the wagon

2012-11-20T21:37:00.000-09:00

I fell off the Nablopomo wagon over the last few days. A mysterious bug kicked me right off.

Thankfully I had visitors who allowed me time to curl up under my sheets and lock my door. Yes, I actually have to lock my son out.

I'm not quite sure what triggered this last stage of his, but he's been incredibly mommy-centric.

All snuggles must be with mommy upon every wakeup (like that's horrible or something! lol). In fact when my sister walked into his room yesterday morning, he laid back down and said, "No, mommy."

Also, with family here, there is a certain expectation that I might shut the door when visiting the restroom. E thinks this is obviously unreasonable. He politely knocks on the bathroom door and then immediately throws it open or starts yelling "mooooooommy" if it's locked.

I'm pretty sure that these are common types of toddler behaviors. But, I must admit, I look back at them as some of my favorite moments of the day. It just shows me how strong our bond is which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. My boy loves me.

Tomorrow is prep for Thanksgiving. Yay!

xoxo

Yuck

2012-11-16T21:27:00.002-09:00

I feel like death warmed over tonight.

That's all I've got.

xoxo

In the mood.

2012-11-15T19:54:00.000-09:00

While I'm usually more of a bah humbug type of girl until the Christmas decorations go up, I can't help myself right now. I've already broken out the holiday pajamas, and it's totally my sister's fault! She sent me these...

The stripes just kill me! I can't help but be cheery! Besides, how could you not after looking at that smiling face?

xoxo

A is for Adultery

2012-11-14T20:55:00.002-09:00

On the first night my husband met me, he asked me straight out if I had a boyfriend and if I was married. Can you tell that he's a straight shooter? I was taken back a bit because in my little world, I would never be chatting up a guy if I had either. However in my hubby's world....not so much.

Living in Korea, I saw a lot of servicemen and women who were geographically separated from their families for the year. Similarly in the last decade, multiple back-to-back year-long deployments have meant families are strained and stressed from separations. For example, within a six year time period, my hubby was deployed three years and home three years. These separations put some spouses in a position where they feel the need to cheat. It's not an excuse to do so, but many servicemembers or spouses have gone in that direction.

So I was not that surprised when I heard about a former general's affair with his biographer. To be fair, he's not part of the military anymore and thus not under Uniform Code of Military Justice. As a reservist, she is though. Within the shitstorm that is brewing, another high ranking officer is also under investigation.

Unlike some other professions, the UCMJ clearly defines adultery as unacceptable behavior that comes with consequences. So I wonder is, what will really happen to these military members? Will they get a slap on their wrist or will they have real consequences?

I just don't get it. Why would you ever put your whole career and family on the line just to get some?

xoxo

It's Major

2012-11-13T15:58:00.001-09:00

Celebrating Veteran's Day was a major event in my household this year. Before the long weekend, my husband was promoted to the next rank. While we've known since last March that the promotion was coming, we've been anxiously waiting for his number to be called up for the month. So this day was a day for much celebration in our house!

This is the first promotion ceremony that I have been able to attend since he was commissioned after ten years of enlisted service. He's been deployed so often that his promotions have fallen when he was in the sandbox. So getting to attend the ceremony, to have E there, and also my parents, was just cool.

My husband is what I would describe as an ardent patriot. He loves this country and defends it with pride. I don't think I really understood that depth of patriotism until I met him. As a person he is demanding, infuriatingly logical, confident, intelligent, hardworking, loving and loyal. He applies 100% of his himself to defending our country so that we can live our lives in a peaceful and stable nation.

I'm so proud of him.

He is not alone in his service to our country. According to the Census Bureau, there were 21.5 million veterans living in the United States in 2011. At the same time, there were about 311 million people in our country. This puts the percentage of people who have served in the military at about 7%. While this number varies between sources (usually between 7-9%), it at least gives you a general idea. Even this number is changing as the WWII generation leaves us.

Thanks to all of our veterans who have served. You are thought of and appreciated.

xoxo

Sweet

2012-11-12T21:57:00.002-09:00

There are so many things that I had NO idea were so fabulous about being a mom. One of those things is wrapping up my son in a towel and carrying him back to his room. Or, in E speak, "hug!" There something just so fabulous about smelling his clean hair and feeling his soft cheeks that just gets me every time. I just don't think I could love him any more than I already do. Thanks grandpa for catching one of my favorite moments on camera.

Hope you are having a great start to your week.

xoxo

The P Words!

2012-11-11T22:59:00.004-09:00

There are a couple of P words that are going around our house this weekend.

P Word #1

Daddy was super surprised during a changing when E burst out with the word "penis!" Of course he then grabbed it. Daddy came out and was like, "What are you teaching him!?!"

P Word #2

With the 'rents here, we slipped out for a date with other tall humans on Saturday night. When we were on our way home we got a text that E had puked twice. My son is not a puker, so we felt bad that we weren't there to comfort him.

P Word #3

Today E had the grunt face going on while we were playing. When I asked him if he wanted to sit on the potty, he said yes! So off we went! There was success. :D

xoxo

Anyone?

2012-11-10T21:46:00.001-09:00

Anyone want to come and have a picnic with me here in Wasilla?

xoxo

Self-explanatory spoiling

2012-11-09T16:38:00.003-09:00

Granny is here.

Life is good.

xoxo

Alaska

2012-11-08T20:52:00.003-09:00

Every week I drive into Anchorage to shop and run errands. Since I live in Wasilla, this means I get to drive about 45 minutes through some spectacular scenery. Today was a major day for us, but we managed to stop on our way home and snap some pictures.

Right now, it's cold here but there's been a notable lack of snow. This has been a marked difference from our record breaking year last winter. There's just enough moisture to make the landscape freeze white.

These were just some quick snapshots that don't do it justice, but I want you to get a picture of what it looks like up here!

xoxo