At a recent presentation on my book, Knowing and Loving: The Keys to Real Happiness, a member of the audience asked me why I am an optimist.  I had to stop and think for several seconds for two reasons.  First, no one ever asked me that question before.  And second, I realized that I have never thought deeply about that specific question before.  So, here goes an attempt to answer that question.

 My response to the question is that like most things in the lives of us as complex human beings, there is not one reason why I am an optimist.  Overall, I think it is a combination of many elements, each of which I will discuss below:

Temperament: The first reason of why I am an optimist is my temperament or basic personality/nature.  I think all of us our born with some innate tendencies.  I have nine brothers and sisters.  We all have the same parents and were raised in the same home for all of our formative years.  But, we all have different personalities.  Some of us are more introverted and some more extroverted.  Same are more left brained (logical, analytic, objective) and some are more right brained (intuitive, thoughtful, subjective).  Some are more athletic and some are less so.  Some are more cautious and some are more comfortable with taking risks.  Some are generally more optimistic about possible positive outcomes and some are more likely to see the possible negative outcomes.  There is no right or wrong in the range of natural tendencies we have.  We just need to understand what they are and how we can either take advantage of them or rise above them as circumstances require.  So, one reason I think I am an optimist is that it is an innate personality trait over which I have no control or for which I can take credit.   

Love: The second reason I am an optimist is that I have been and continue to be loved by and to love others.  I have benefitted from a wonderful family environment.  Parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, sisters and brothers, wife, children, and now, fortunately, grandchildren, have all loved me and I have tried to do the same in return.  None of us is perfect.  I was not brought up in a “Disney” family.  But we all wanted what is best for each other.  We listen and share with each other regarding our hopes and dreams. We all help each other as best we can.  If we disagreed or got angry with each other, we never let it last.  

Religious Beliefs: Faith, Hope, and Love have been key aspects of my life view and practice since I was a kid.  Some of my beliefs have changed over the years.  But I believe we live in a world created by a loving God and a big part of the joy of our life is to understand as much as possible about who and what we are as human beings and how we fit into a much bigger picture which goes beyond my own small self.  I believe that I live in relationship to God in much the same way that I live in relationship to those I love most deeply.  And just as their love and support help me to flourish as a human being, I believe God does the same if we ask for it and let it happen.  Also, I believe there is something about each of us as human beings which is immortal. I believe that no matter what difficulties we encounter, including eventual death, we will continue on in some mode of being and in communion with all of those who have gone before us.

Good Examples: I have known so many good people over the years who have inspired me to do as much good as I can.  I have seen what positive things they have accomplished.  I try to understand who they are and why and how they do things.  One of most important groups of people who have set such a good example for me are the many excellent teachers I had throughout my life, particularly Catholic nuns and teaching brothers.  They loved learning and they transmitted that love of learning to me.  Part of the love of learning is to see that the more we know and understand the better chance we have to live a flourishing human life and to help others do the same.  I have also had the privilege of working with and for wonderful leaders in government, business, not for profits, community, and church organizations.  Again, none of these people were perfect, but they strove to bring the best of who they are to any task they undertook to achieve worthwhile goals. 

Knowledge of History: Looking at both the long view of history and the shorter views of history during my own life time, I think human beings as a whole have made progress in providing more opportunity for more people to flourish as human beings. Slavery is pretty much outlawed everywhere, even though there are still people suffering from human trafficking.  Racial, gender, and religious discrimination have been outlawed in many parts of the world, though it still exists.  And in places where discrimination is illegal, bias and, too often, hate still rears its ugly head from time to time. Wars and violence continue more than they should and are often driven by greed and a lust for power.   But I think that we are better off living in the 21^st century than if we were living hundreds or thousands of years ago.  In my own lifetime, I have seen some profound changes for the better.  When I was growing up in the 1940’s and 50’s, the idea that a black man would be President of the United States was not even conceived of as a possibility.  I still remember signs warning “Negroes and Jews Not Welcome” at entrances to lakes where our family would go for Sunday picnics and a day of swimming.  The role of women was very limited at that time as well.  The opening up of educational and career opportunities for women in many parts of the world has been another step forward which I have seen. 

Realistic Expectations: Change takes time.  Democracy did not become a viable option for governing people until the 18^th century even though it had been written about and practiced on a small scale and sporadically for two millennia.  Slavery did not begin to be outlawed until the 19^th century.  Lynching of blacks in America did not stop until the mid-20^th century.  Many people had to work long and hard and not see the results of their efforts in their lifetimes.  But what they did and worked for eventually became a reality.  One of my favorite quotes is from Martin Luther King who said that the “Arc of the moral universe is long but it bends towards justice.”  I also read somewhere else that we are being presumptuous and prideful if we think that we can make everything change for the better during our lifetimes just because we want them to change.  So even though I get discouraged sometimes that wars don’t end or greed triumphs over fairness or the environment continues to suffer blows which make us fear for the future, I remember that I should continue to try to change things for the better, recognizing that some of the things I am working for may not come about in my lifetime.  I also often take the mental approach that if what I am trying to do is not totally successful, which few things are, I am still aiming to make progress at whatever good thing I am trying to achieve.  

Discount the News Media: More good things than bad things happen every day.  I have seen those good things happening in my community and around the country.  People helping people, groups and organizations helping other people cope with difficulties in their lives, parents raising children, people doing their jobs and supporting their families.  Truly, the list is endless of the good things that happen every day.  Unfortunately, the news media reports primarily on bad news.  “If it bleeds, it leads” is the premise of most local news programs.  Who was killed, who was robbed, who is in court (got to have someone in an orange prisoner jumpsuit every night), who had a bad accident, and whose house burned, pretty much summarizes the local news anywhere in America.  The national news channels which operate 24/7 report on as much bad stuff happening as they can, and they also have the role to create controversies and crises because they have so much time to fill every day.  The negative stream of news is depressing and makes us feel both cynical and hopeless about the world we live in and negates our thoughts saps our energy to make a difference in the world.

Accept the Human Condition:  I have suffered failures, disappointments, pain, and loss like everyone else.  But that is part of life.  I don’t try to run away from those experiences or try to bury them with prescription or other drugs or alcohol so I don’t feel the anguish and sorrow which comes to all of us.  Pain and sorrow are part of human existence.  I don’t seek them out, but when they come, I accept them as part of life and work my way through them as best I can.  And as best I can almost always means I have people who love me to help me get through those hard times.  Part of the human condition is to also recognize our limits in intelligence and energy.  Each of us can do a lot, but none of us can do everything.  And I am pleased with seeking the good and not getting hung up on making myself, someone else, or some situation perfect.  Someone once said that seeking perfection is a detriment to accomplishing good.  I am pretty confident that I can make something better.  I am not very optimistic that I can be or bring about perfection in anybody or anything. And from a personal perspective, I know I will die!  Human beings are the only beings we are aware of who know they are going to die.  That self-reflective knowledge grounds me in reality and imparts a sense of urgency to what I can do to make this a better world.

Healthy Lifestyle: A sound mind in a sound body is an old Latin phrase which continues to be true today. A strong mind and body help us deal with the trials and tribulations we all experience in life.  A strong body helps us enjoy so much of reality in us and around us.  I read somewhere years ago that what will kill most of us is what we put in our mouth sand bodies.  Not long after reading that, I stopped smoking.  And remembering that over the years has led me to always be looking out for healthier ways to prepare and eat food.  I exercise almost every day from something as simple as a 30 minute walk to a 10K run.  I exercise not only because it is good for me, but because it makes me feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Exercise also gives us opportunities to improve ourselves.  Completing a 10K run, even if I have a slower time than I did 10 years ago, gives me a feeling of confidence and optimism that I can still do things that make a positive difference for myself.  I get the sense every time I exercise that what I do counts and can be done successfully.  And though prescription drugs are sometimes necessary for all of us, I use them to the bare minimum because so many of the drugs have serious side effects including depression and feeling dis-oriented, neither of which contributes to an optimistic viewpoint.  

Sense of Humor: We have to laugh to survive and keep our hopes alive. The ironies of life and the foibles of all of us human beings can be railed at or can be seen as examples of who and what we are as human beings, our pluses and minuses, our wonderfulness and our weaknesses, and how we humans can soar to the heights and also sink to lows of behavior.  But we are the only beings who can imagine a better world and actually help create it.  We are the only beings who tell jokes, create humor, recognize it, and laugh about ourselves and the sometimes absurdities of reality as we encounter them. 

It is More Fun: I think it would be very hard to get up every day if I did not think I was going to have some fun and hopefully make a positive difference in the world.  That may just be wishful thinking.  But I have found over the years that I have more fun and enjoy life more when I approach every day with a positive attitude.  I am always trying to learn more and love more.  Both of those things have brought me great joy over my lifetime and I expect that they will continue to do so in the future.  Having repeated successes at what is most human about us and most happiness producing for human beings helps create a sense of optimism that it is possible to change things for the better. 

Happiness: I am optimistic because I am happy in the deepest sense of the word.  I experience the joy and peace of a life well and fully lived to the best of my ability.  I continue to make choices to grow and flourish as a human being and help others do the same.  The cumulative choices, experiences, and relationships of my life as a knowing and loving human being have made me what I am and will continue to do so in the future.  I am optimistic about that.

Comments/Submissions from Readers Via Email about “Why are You an Optimist?” and my response if called for.

From Richard Marciniak: Not making this up, I was thinking about you the other day–just started doing some Tai Chi a few months ago to stay a little healthier during winter.   I know you do Yoga and that seems to be working well, but then I thought, well, it probably has more to do with Bob being pretty content and mentally healthy.  Kind of echoes  why you  are an optimist–read your blog–genetic, lessons learned, simply just who you are. 

From Margaret Hershey:  Thanks for sharing your thoughts on being “optimistic”.  It’s a good way to start off a new week!!

I’m pretty optimistic, too…..but sometimes it’s work!  I’ve found that it’s definitely worth the effort, however, and has good effects on my health, my relationships and my productivity.  I remember Mom singing “Smile”…..”you’ll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile.”

From Laura Gellot: Thank you for this.  I really enjoyed reading it, and am going to print it out and keep it inside a copy of your book, and re-read it every once in a while.  

I especially appreciate what you say about the news media.  I have found in recent weeks that I am listening to it less and less.  I thought maybe I was just feeling overwhelmed, or even putting my head in the sand, or perhaps feeling that now that I’m not teaching about the relationship of current events to history I did not need to know this stuff anymore . . . .  But I think it was a deeper feeling than that, and your thoughts helped me to clarify my own feelings on the matter. 

My Response to Laura:  Glad you enjoyed it and found it helpful.  I have had the same feelings about skipping the news because of the negativity and wondering if I was just escaping from reality.  But most of the TV and radio news broadcasts only show one very limited side of reality.  I still stay current watching the PBS news most evenings, reading the Chicago Tribune and Racine Journal Times every day, and reading periodicals such as Commonweal regularly (dare I say religiously for 55 years), and other magazines such as New York Review of Books, Foreign Affairs, Scientific America, America, on a regular basis.

Bad news seems to heavily outweigh good news every day.  Pick up the paper, listen to radio or television, go on line, or however you are used to getting your news, and it seems like there are always more terrible things happening in the world then good things.  “If it bleeds, it leads” is an old news axiom.  Murders, wars, corruption, unemployment, poverty, ill health, foreclosures…the list goes on and on and on.

It can be pretty depressing and pretty discouraging.

But go to a Rotary meeting. You will hear of good things being done by ordinary people every day.

Ever since I wrote my book, Knowing and Loving: The Keys to Real Happiness, I have spoken to 24 Rotary Clubs in Southeast Wisconsin and Northeast Illinois.  My presentation is titled: Knowing and Loving: The Keys to Real Happiness  At the Core of “Service Above Self” and the “The Four Way Test.”

One of the unexpected and best parts of attending the Rotary meetings is to hear of the broad range of service projects the Rotary Clubs and their members are engaged in on a local, national, and international level.  The motto of Rotary is “Service Above Self.”  Projects range from working with developmentally disabled, supporting students with scholarships, raising money for food pantries, providing a safer environment and recreational opportunities for low-income children, helping build a water system in Africa, etc.. The Rotarians are always doing something which is positive and is making a contribution to the well-being of individuals and their communities.

Good News, indeed!

And what is really good news is that this is happening thousands of times a week around the world at each of the thousands of Rotary Clubs internationally.

It always reminds me of the day of the Columbine shootings a number of years ago.  It was a terrible event and people were properly shocked and upset by it.  But on that day of the shootings, I was meeting with a Board of a neighborhood service center in Milwaukee.  We were a group of business, community, governmental, educational, and social service providers working to bring together resources to provide opportunities for people in the neighborhood to improve their own well-being as well as those of their family and in their neighborhood.

We were just one of hundreds if not thousands of community groups around the country that day having such a meeting and working together to improve the lives of many people.  No news organizations covered our meeting.  There were no stories in the paper recognizing all of the good things being done that day by people everywhere. 

The other unexpected good news at a Rotary Club meeting is a portion of the meeting they call “Happy Dollars.”  Anyone who has some good news to share makes an announcement and then throws a dollar or two into a pot.  The money is used to support the various community service projects which that particular Rotary Club has undertaken.  The good news that people share may be an anniversary, a new child or grandchild, a wedding, a success in business, an appearance in the news media, successful surgery, going a vacation, etc., etc.  People smile and congratulate each other.  Most importantly, people celebrate the good things that they are experiencing in their lives. 

So, if you are looking for an organization which creates good news and celebrates all of the wonderful things we experience in our lives, join a Rotary Club in your community.  I am not a Rotarian.  But if I were not already committed to and working with other people on many community projects, I would join in a minute.  Depending on where you are in your life, you may want to consider joining a club.  You’ll have fun, do good things, and create good news.  You can’t beat that!

Comments from several people regarding the post above.  People sent me emails rather than commenting directly on the blog. 

First email: from a woman in Wisconsin:

Thank you for this good, thoughtful message. 

I had very much the same thought a couple of weeks ago.  I belong to a Catholic Women’s organization — a good group of women from all around the city.  They have a monthly lunch meeting on a Saturday, and always a speaker.  This month the speaker was a woman who works with a program of getting children with various disabilities — mostly physical, some emotional, almost all with some form of autism — to do physical therapy by riding horses and just generally relating to the animals.  It was an inspiring, uplifting talk: to hear how much good comes of something from this, and how many volunteers it takes to make this come about. 

The priest who is the “chaplain” for the group, and always says a few words, and his comments reflected what I was thinking, and are very much what you said in your message.  He too said how moving and inspirational he found it to talk with this woman during lunch, and then to hear her presentation; and how, at a time when it seems to be so hard to find good news or anything positive, such things are happening all around us.  Ordinary men and women are finding ways to make a profound difference

Second email: from a Rotary Club member in Illinois:

Great article Bob … thanks for sending!

Third email: from Ric Hartman, a Rotary Club member in Menomonee Falls, WI

Thanks Robert!  Wow, what a great article!!  I have forwarded to the rest of the club.

 Best always, and thank you again!

Fourth email: from a Rotary Club member in Illinois:

Thanks for the email and feedback!!  What a great story.  Please know the door is always open if you are ever far south of the “Cheddar Curtain” and want to join us for a Rotary Luncheon. 

Fifth email: From a Rotary Club member in Wisconsin:

Great article Bob … thanks for sending!

Below is a letter I sent within the past year to Professor Steven Smith of the San Diego University School of Law after I read his book The Disenchantment of Secular Discourse. 

Steven D. Smith, University of San Diego School of Law, WH 304D, 5998 Alcala Park, San Diego, CA 92110-2492 

Dear Professor Smith,

I just finished reading your book The Disenchantment of Secular Discourse. 

What a great job.  Thank you.

I have been thinking about the limits on public discourse since the mid-1970’s when I could see the range of topics which could be discussed in language reflecting deep human experience became more and more limited.  

I am a relatively old guy (68) who was born and raised in a world where people lived through and survived the Great Depression and World War II.  There was a more shared common experience and language which tapped into most people’s deeply shared world views.  Those deeply shared views had a greater emphasis on belief and the idea that we were all in this together.  Hardly anyone made it through the Great Depression and WWII without losing something or someone important to them and who also were helped out in one way or another by their family, neighbors and community. 

Those ideas and experiences were reflected in our common language and were an important part of public policy discussions.  I think that common experience and language was captured perfectly when John F. Kennedy gave his inaugural address in 1961.  The language/rhetoric he used and embodied caught the imagination of many people, including myself.  It was a peak of common language and aspirations which has not been approached since then, though it was somewhat captured by the Presidential campaign of Barack Obama.

I have been involved in public life since the early 1960’s.  I have successful experience in government, business, and community leadership.  But very interestingly, and I think unnoticed by many except you and me (and I am sure a few others), is that the language and discourse necessary to be successful in all of those areas has changed significantly over the last 50 years.  I have had to change my language and also some of my ideas to be able to communicate positively and constructively with the different publics with which I interact in trying to lead and persuade people to address needs which go beyond their own self interest.  Sometimes I have succeeded in that discourse and sometimes I have failed.  But I keep trying and I think I have more successes than failures when it comes to having those challenging conversations with individuals and groups. 

I think the causes of the disenchantment of secular discourse are three fold:

• First, the scientific/academic mindset you discuss so well;
• Second, the social/cultural/philosophical focus on individual satisfaction and “meism” which equates freedom and liberty with what is good for me with little or no regard of what is good for the polity in which we live;
• Third, the quasi-religious belief in unrestrained capitalism which describes human beings, first and foremost, as economic decision makers and maximizers which in turn reduces every social, political, artistic, and moral decision to an economic calculus.  (Most appallingly exemplified by President George W. Bush’s call for all of us to hit the malls and shop after 9/11).    

Though I found your entire book interesting and insightful, I wanted to speak to one point in particular: the meaning of and relationship to each other of knowledge and belief.  And then I would like to add a third word to that list, which is the word love. 

I recently wrote a book called Knowing and Loving: The Keys to Real Happiness.  I have enclosed a complimentary copy.  I ask you to read the first four Chapters (the chapters are purposefully brief to encourage self-reflection and eventual discourse).  I think you might find them interesting, and, I hope, insightful, in relationship to your discussion of those topics.  I particularly commend to you my approach to knowledge and belief as being along a continuum where there is abundant overlap between both realms as we try to understand reality and make choices and decisions based on our mix of knowledge and belief.  But very importantly, we also make choices and decisions based on our capacity and ability to love.  But you have to read more of the book to get into that very important aspect of how we perceive, experience, and understand reality, and then act on the combination of knowledge, belief, and love in our everyday lives.

Since I wrote the book, I have been engaged in discourse with a wide variety of groups from college students, to working adults, to business people, and others.  I find that people are hungry for this kind of discourse, particularly if you are not trying to convince them that you are right (or that God wills it!).  I would be delighted to engage in some discourse with you on how I think we can make progress in encouraging a broader, deeper, and more meaningful social and political discourse regarding the important topics which need to be discussed today.

Thank you for your time and consideration.  And, thank you again for writing such a thoughtful and thought-provoking book.

Below is a letter which I sent to Gregory Wolfe, the author of Beauty Will Save the World, a couple of days ago. 

Mr. Gregory Wolfe, Image Journal, Seattle, Washington  http://imagejournal.org/ 

Dear Mr. Wolfe,

Wow!  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.

I am reading your book Beauty Will Save the World after reading a review of your book in Commonweal recently.    I have read about 1/3 of your book so far and will definitely finish it in the next week or so.  But since this is the Christmas holiday season, and I have a little extra time, I wanted to write this brief note to you and tell you how much I am enjoying your book for a number of reasons.

First, one of the ways that I can tell how good a book is, is when I grab some pieces of scrap paper and start jotting down notes (quotes, references to other works, my own thoughts, etc.) as I read the book.  When I do that, I know I am reading an author who has been thinking deeply about topics which I have thought about for many years; and the author is both introducing me to new perspectives on the subject and is saying some things particularly well.  My first note occurred when reading the following on page xiii of the Prologue: “Just as we lack men and women of letters, so are we without true prophets.” Amen, brother.  We have enough “scolds and do-gooders.”  I have always tried not to be a scold, but I probably fall into the category of do-gooders.

Second, A Man for All Seasons has been one of my favorite plays and movies.  I have had a copy on my desk or bookshelf since the 1960’s when I first read the play.  I always keep it somewhere in my view so that I am reminded of an ideal for which I should strive.

More is a man of angel’s wit and singular learning; I know not his fellow.  For where is the man of that gentleness, lowliness, and affability?  And as time requireth a man of marvelous mirth and pastimes; and sometimes of sad gravity: a man for all seasons.  (Robert Whittington, before the Preface by Robert Bolt in my 1962 Vantage paperback edition of A Man For All Seasons.

Third, you refer to the writings of Romano Guardini and Gerald Vann as well as many other authors I read during my formation in the Christian Brothers from my sophomore year in high school in 1957 through my junior year in college in 1963 when I decided that my vocation was to be more in the world than in a religious community.  (And as an aside, Fr. Columba Marmion is another author whose writings on the liturgy made a large impact on me during that same time.  If you are not familiar with him, you might want to check him out.)  Your quote from Gerald Vann, beginning on p. 74 pretty well captures what I have been trying to do my entire life which is soon to enter its 8^th decade.

Fourth, as the holder of an undergraduate degree in English literature undergraduate, I can’t wait to read some of the novels you refer to in your book.  I have read a number of the books you cite, but you have given me an expanded reading list to pursue in the next several years. I have gotten away from reading novels because I have found most of them which are supposed to be good fall far short of my expectations.  Two novels which I think are some of the best of the last 30 years are The Brothers K by David James Duncan and Bel Cantoby Ann Patchett.  Another is The Song Before it is Sung by Justin Cartwright.

I remember the Dostoevsky line which is the title of your book, but it has been many years since I thought of it.  But even without recalling his specific quote, I have been thinking for a long time that we need prophets with a beautiful vision to move us away from the too polarized world we live in.  It is a polarized world based in many ways on fears which cripple us rather than energize us with a vision of the wonderfulness of what reality is and how we can be a part of co-creating the future of the universe.  I have been asking myself lately: Where are the troubadours of today to touch our souls and lead us to a better vision of what is possible?

When I was a young man in the 1960’s, I participated in the civil rights movement in various ways.  One of the real contributors to the success of that movement were the folk songs which captured the truth, goodness, and beauty of the vision about which Martin Luther King spoke so eloquently and prophetically.  Where are the musicians, poets, writers, and artists helping lead us out of the morass of hopelessness and shallowness which so many people were experiencing before these hard economic times and which have been intensified as so many people struggle to survive in a more harsh and cruel economic reality?  Maybe that is a subject you can explore in a future edition in Image.

I have spent all of my life trying to make the world a better place for as many people as I could.  I continue to do so today and probably will keep on doing so until my life here on earth is over.  Then, I hope and believe, there will be another kind of life where beauty will truly reign supreme and joy and peace and happiness will be the gifts we receive and enjoy forever.  One of my inspirations along this path is John F. Haught.  He is a Professor of Theology at Georgetown University.  I have read several of his books.  There is a passage on page 128 of his book God After Darwin: A Theology of Evolution which I think fits well with your book:

The general physical features of the universe are shaped by what we might call the “aesthetic cosmological principle.” Unlike the so-called “anthropic cosmological principle,” which views the physical constants and initial conditions of the universe as pointing only towards the eventual emergence of humans, the aesthetic principle suggests more broadly that the universe has been set up from the beginning in such a manner as to allow for the ongoing creation of beauty.

One of the things Professor Haught speaks about in his books is our role in co-creating the future of the universe and creating beauty is one of the ways we can do that.

I have enclosed a copy of my book which was published in 2010. Since I wrote the book, I have been engaged in discourse with a wide variety of groups from college students, to working adults, to business people, and others.  Many people have a feeling and understanding deep within themselves that the scientific, capitalistic, materialistic, and self-centered world we are supposed to live in is missing something and is leading us in some negative directions.  I wrote my book and have been out discussing these ideas because I think it will help turn the tide of thinking toward a more holistic and complete understanding of reality.  I know my small effort will not change everything by a long shot.  But I am a believer in throwing positive pebbles into the pond everyday and letting the ripples join others in bringing about change.  In this regard, I like your quote from Gerald Vann on page 74 of your book:

For we shall find that, in a world which is so largely uncreative and so largely hopeless, we for our part shall find always a renewal of life and of hope, through our sharing, however humbly, however fumblingly and imperfectly, in the re-creative, the redemptive work of the Word who was made flesh and dwelt amongst us in order precisely that we might have life and have it more abundantly.

I have a website for my book at the following link:  www.knowingandloving.com   There is more biographical information about me on the website which might lead you to consider more seriously my ideas in relationship to your book.  You will probably notice in reading my bio that I have functioned in the Big Four cultures as well as the business culture in which most of us have to survive.  Since you have been publishing a journal for many years, my guess is that the business culture has impacted your thinking and acting as well.  Not a bad thing, but certainly part of reality.

I hope you enjoy my book, and if you think it has some merit, I would appreciate it if you would share it with your professional colleagues and friends.  People can purchase my book through the website above or on-line at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. 

Thank you for your time and consideration.  Thank you again for writing such a thoughtful and thought-provoking book.  And finally, keep up your good and important work.  I am always delighted to find a young person (compared to me you are young) working toward co-creating a more beautiful universe.

Best Regards,

I often heard that starting a blog was easy.  The hard part is keeping it up.

I started a blog last summer and, sure enough, life got busier than I had anticipated and I was not able to keep up the blog.

Well, it is New Year’s Eve.  And with 2012 just 4 hours away, I am going to start my blog again, and, hopefully, keep it more current.  I am a sucker for New Year’s resolutions.

One thing I am going to include in my blog are copies of letters and/or emails which I have sent to sent to other authors of books and articles which I have read.  In those letters, I tell the authors what I found to be most interesting in what they wrote.  Frequently, I also send a complimentary copy of my book to them along with the letter.  I also usually point out one or two aspects of my book which speak to some of the same topics they discussed in their book or article.  In some ways, these blog entries will serve as mini-book reviews.  Almost always when I take the time to write to authors, I would also  recommend their work to others who might have an interest in the topic being discussed.  I hope that you might find some of these books and articles interesting as well. 

In addition to the author related correspondence, I will write about other topics as well.  If there is a topic you are interested in discussing, please let me know and I will be happy to pursue the matter with you.

In the meantime, a very Happy and Healthy New Year to you in 2012!

Hi Everyone,

My wife and I met this morning with the surgeon who did the prostate cancer surgery on me on August 1.  He shared with us the pathology report.  As he predicted and we hoped, there is no evidence that cancer has spread beyond the prostate itself which was removed during surgery.  We are delighted with the news.  You are all stuck with me for awhile.  Hopefully, many years.   Thanks for all of your good wishes and prayers.

Hi Friends and Family,

The prostate cancer surgery went well on Monday.   The doctor was very pleased with how it went.  He thinks they got everything, but the pathology report will be in by next Tuesday when I see him again.  Here’s hoping the report is as optimistic as the doctor.  He has done over 1,500 of these surgeries, so I think he should have a pretty good idea.

The recovery has been a little harder than I expected, but I am getting better.  Like most surgeries with a general anesthetic, the digestive system is stopped.  Getting it going again was a little more painful than anticipated but seems to be pretty much back to normal.  The abdomen, where they punched in 6 holes for the robotic and laproscopic surgery has been painful, but nothing to kill you.  That pain is diminishing slowly but steadily.  I guess I won’t be back to running for 6 to 8 weeks.  But I should be able to start walking a little more vigorously by the middle of next week. 

Thanks to all of you for your prayers and good wishes.  I am sure they were and are helpful.  It is nice to know that so many people wanted good things for me.  I’m a lucky guy!

Hi Again Everyone,

As promised, here is the follow up to the 1998 essay which is part of my July 5, 2011 blog entry.  I wrote in the following essay in 2005.  Again, I hope you find it interesting and thought-provoking. 

What do you think about as you get older?  Is your cup half-full or half-empty.  I would enjoy hearing your thoughts regarding getting older. 

In the meantime, as  I mentioned in a previous blog, I am writing another essay taking me from 2005 (when I was a youngster of 63) to 2011 (when I am cracking 70).  The last seven years have had a number of surprises, good and bad, from both a personal and professional standpoint.  

As I also mentioned in a previous blog, I am having prostate cancer surgery on August 1.  Some un-named robot is going to do it.  (Fortunately, he/she/it is being directed by a well respected surgeon).  I am expecting to come out of this okay.   If you have not heard it before, basically, if they did an autopsy on every guy from the upper 60′s on up, they would find some prostate cancer.  The question with prostate cancer is how aggressive is it.  Most are not too aggressive, so most guys die of something else.  My prostate cancer seems to be somewhere in the middle.  I have been watching it closely.  It appears to have not spread outside of the prostate, so that is the main reason for my optimism.   We’ll see if the optimism is justified.

September, 2005

 Half Empty/Half Full Revisited 

            It was interesting reading the previous essay after seven years.  I am now in my early to mid-60′s (63 and a half to be precise).  

            The last seven years have been full of unexpected twists and turns.

            Some things are the same.  I still have my wonderful wife and two daughters.  I still have the virus, though not as debilitating as before, mainly I think, because I have adjusted my physical exercise downward over the years.  I still exercise almost every day, but I run less and seldom run more than three miles.  The good news is that I have taken up racquetball again, which is vigorous exercise, but seems less taxing overall than running. 

            I had a mild heart attack just before I turned 60.  I now have two arteries instead of three feeding my heart.  My steady and vigorous exercise over the years paid off.  Instead of needing heart surgery as is typical in about 95% or more of cases when an artery closes up entirely, I had developed so many collateral arteries over the years that the majority of the heart muscle that is usually served by the third major artery is now served by the collateral arteries.  So I lost a little bit of the heart muscle, but not as much as most people would have under similar circumstances.  And within 6 weeks of the heart attack, I was back to running, lifting, etc.

            I tried several major efforts in the last few years.  I tried to become a Deacon in the Catholic Church in Milwaukee.  I was rejected.  Gaye said that I did not come across as controllable to those doing the evaluating.  She is probably right.  I thought it would be a good way to use my talents and faith in continuing to fill the glass with positive contributions to individual people, the world, and the Church.  But no soap. 

            I tried combining teaching and administration at a Catholic university while I still did consulting work.  The hope was that I could eventually work it into a full-time teaching and administration position.  I did work for Lewis University, a Christian Brothers school in the Joliet area.  Br. James Gaffney, my old classmate and friend from the Brothers, is the President of Lewis.   I helped in a number of projects, most notably in developing a strategic plan for the University.  I think it was a good contribution to the Mission of the school, but nothing worked out on a full-time basis.

            Unexpectedly, Paul Reaume became very ill and died in 2003.  I tried to get another colleague to take over ownership of The PAR Group.  He failed to do so for a number of reasons.  I did not want Paul to die thinking that his life’s work would not survive.  Also, I needed to keep working and earn money.  Finally, I thought I would have an opportunity to start up The PAR Public Service Foundation.  So I agreed to purchase and run the company.  Surprisingly to me, I am the owner and CEO of a million dollar company.  It is nothing I ever aspired to, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time, so I did it.

            Being President of a company has been demanding.  I think I have been doing it well.  It is not something I really want to be doing; but it keeps the money flowing in.  In fact, it has been a lucrative venture so far.  My wife, in her usual frugal and creative financial way, has made the money I have earned add to our net worth with the idea that in a couple more years, I can retire from The PAR Group and work in general, and start doing something closer to my heart’s desire.

            I have gotten the Foundation going, but it has been a challenge getting it started.  I raised over $7,000 in the first year, set up a web page, and tried several ideas to get things moving.  It has not been a success so far.  Maybe it will be an opportunity to do some positive things after I retire.

            Finally, I started the Lucy’s Childrens’ Fund in 2002 with the indispensable help of my wife Gaye.  We did it mainly because I wanted some way for people to give me gifts on various occasions which would help others. And it was especially pertinent since I was having my 60th birthday.  I really don’t need much.  I thought this would be a good way to channel some of that money to a good cause.  It has turned out to be a very successful idea.  We have raised over $20,000 (most of it from Gaye and I, but at least a quarter of it from other family members).  We have given out over half of the money so far.  One of the best things to come out of the idea is that my children, my son-in-law, and my nieces and nephews have taken a very active role in foundation.  They have taken ownership of it.  Our daughter Alice has taken over running of it.  It has been a good learning experience for her as well as an important role for her to fill in the overall functioning of our broader family.

            So overall, I think the glass continues to fill up.  I guess I never accomplish as much as I hope I would do.  But then, I am always a dreamer who sees big things as possible, even if I know that they will all not be as successful as I hope they would be.

            It will be interesting to see what will happen the next 5 to 7 years.  Except for trying to keep my family strong and healthy and productive and good persons, I am not sure what will happen.  As I look back over the last 7 years, most of the specific things I listed above were not on my radar screen at the time.  However, I am regularly trying to do things that make some contribution to a better world.  The needs and opportunities change from time to time.  Also my time availability expands or decreases depending on my other commitments. 

            In about 2.5 years, I will be on Medicare and be receiving Social Security payments.  That will change my circumstances significantly. Things happen and change all of the time.  I anticipate that I will be able to retire, but with changes in the economy, possible results of the disastrous foreign and military decisions our President has made, health issues, etc., you never know.

Comments/Submissions from Readers Via Email about “God, I’m Getting Old, Part II” and my response if called for.

Reader Comment:  Hey Bob–I don’t claim any great wisdom, but I think a few years ago I quit worrying about it.  I’ve done enough and lived enough life that if I died tomorrow, I’d have had a pretty full life.  I think it’s a common experience in your fifties to maybe not embrace the end but at least accept your mortality.  At least I was told that’s the healthy way.  So getting older, who cares!  I’m just focusing on doing a good job using my time today.

My Respose:   Hi Richard,  A good and wise answer.  Thanks for your thoughts. 

I am not obsessed with growing older.  In fact, I don’t spend much time thinking about my mortality regularly, but certain major events make me think about it a little more deeply from time to time. Also, sometimes my interactions and discussion with other people about their “time running out” issues makes me think about it a little more.  I believe there will be some type of life after death.  I am not sure what it will be like.  And there may be nothing at all.  But I hope there is.

Reader Comment/Submission:  Here is poem which a reader sent to me about growing older.  The poet is Karle Wilson Baker.

Let me grow lovely, growing old–

so many fine things do; 

laces, and ivory, and gold, 

and silks need not be new;

and there is healing in old trees,

old streets a glamour hold;

why may not I, as well as these,

grow lovely, growing old?

I recently turned 69 and at the same time was diagnosed with prostate cancer.  Both are a surprise to a guy who thinks he is still in his 30′s or maybe 40′s and probably sometimes acts like he is 12.  But then, I am guy and it takes us longer to grow up.

One of the things I did when I turned 69 was to look at some articles and letters I wrote in the past and never had published in one form or another.  One of the ones I wrote was titled “Half-full or Half-Empty?”  I wrote it in 1998 when I was 56 years old.  I had been suffering from a long term virus which had taken its toll physically on my strength and stamina.  I  had some economic challenges and obligations to meet for myself and my family.  And, I wasn’t too sure if I could live the energetic, positive-contributor lifestyle I had pursued all of my adult life. 

So, here is the essay I wrote in November of 1998.  I wrote a followup essay in September of 2005.  I will post that to this blog in a couple of weeks.  And then, I will write another followup essay which takes me to August of 2011.  I hope you find them interesting. 

November, 1998

Half-Full or Half-Empty?  On Growing Older

Turning 30, 40, or 50 never bothered me at all.

I had lots of energy and reasonably good health.  I had dreams that stretched into the future and yet seemed within grasp. 

I had my share of ups and downs like everyone else.  But in terms of the old cliché about seeing a glass that is filled to the middle as either half-full or half-empty, I almost always saw it as half-full.  I was always optimistic and hopeful about the future. 

However, three things happened over the next ten years that changed my usually optimistic viewpoint.

First, I got some type of virus that took several years to get under control.  The virus was very debilitating during the first three years.  Though I have gotten rid of the virus (I think), the virus left me permanently damaged in terms of my digestive system and my ability to eat and tolerate many healthy foods.  It has also limited me in the amount of sustained aerobic exercise that I can participate in without getting very exhausted for several days afterwards.  I had all I could do to just take care of my work obligations and family relationships.  Nothing was leftover for the pursuit of any dreams.

Second, I lost my last good try at an election victory that could put me on a path to having a state-wide or national influence on public policy issues concerning social and economic justice.  My overall goal since my early 20’s was to go as far as I could in politics in order to address these issues.  Losing this election basically put the end to that dream – a dream I had worked hard at achieving for 25 years.

Third, I experienced a very negative work situation where someone was determined to improve their position at my expense.  Not only did they want to surpass me in the workplace, they consciously determined that their rise was dependent on attacking me and creating a no-win situation and cycle that could not be overcome.  After a several year battle to neutralize the negative attacks, I resigned my position.  

But there was a toll that was paid.  Not only was my financial position put in serious jeopardy, but I had found that my usual optimistic and positive view of people and events had taken a beating.  I had always found a way to turn bad situations into positive outcomes.  I could not do that in this situation, no matter what I tried.

So after a good life of health, dreams, and success, I found myself in my mid-fifties at a critical point. 

I did not have the health and strength to sustain the efforts necessary to initiate and pursue any dreams with the scope and desired impact that served as the rationale and motivation for all of my adult life.  I also had acquired and needed to continue to support family and financial obligations.

All work and no dreams make for a bad combination.  It is a combination that makes a glass that is filled to the middle looking more like half-empty than half-filled.

 Sure, with reasonably good health, I would have twenty to thirty years of productive time ahead.  But by my standards of the past, the productivity curve was pretty flat. 

It looked like the glass was half-empty and the rest of my life would be spent pouring out the contents of the glass until nothing was left.  Health and energy would inevitably continue to erode.  The scope and impact of my contributions would continue to diminish. 

It’s not that I didn’t expect any good times ahead.  I have a wonderful wife and daughters.  Hopefully, I would enjoy helping to raise grandchildren.  I would have the opportunity to help the next generation grow and develop into caring and capable people who would have a positive impact on those around them and the world as a whole.  I am fortunate to have a job that allows me to make enough money to live an inexpensive but comfortable life style. 

I still have opportunities to engage in some activities that can contribute to a better world and provide an environment where more people can enjoy a better life than the sometimes hard and hopeless existence that they find themselves in whether through the circumstances of their birth, the inevitable bad luck (sickness, accidents, job loss, etc.) that affects all of us one way or another, or the choices they have made in life that have turned out badly.

But it still feels like the glass is half-empty (actually more like two-thirds empty) rather than half-full and hopefully getting fuller.

One of my problems as I have gotten older is that I see time running out.  Who doesn’t?  I see myself as not being able to make the contributions that I had hoped to make.  Everything in the future looked less than the past because I was viewing the future primarily in terms of the size and scope of contributions.

I had less energy, less strength, and less time; ergo, less contributions.  Don’t plan any thing major because I won’t be able to see it through. 

The glass was getting emptier. 

Then it occurred to me that if I look at my life as the totality of my experiences and contributions, the glass would always be getting fuller. 

If I take the positive attitude that everything I do for the next 30 years or so will continue to fill the glass with new experiences and new contributions, the glass will end up filled, rather than empty. 

 Lying on my death bed someday will be the last experience that fills the glass.  It will be the last opportunity to contribute to others by showing them how to die with faith and hope. 

Until that time, I can continue to fill the glass with positive experiences.  Experiences in terms of growing in wisdom and knowledge and the ability to love and be loved – the uniquely human abilities that make us capable of experiencing and sharing the divine now and when we die.

I can undertake some new challenges and goals.  Just because they have to be within the framework and limitations of my health, does not mean that the glass is being emptied more completely.  Rather, it means the glass is being filled more slowly.  But it is being filled.

Comment from a Reader Via Email about “God, I’m Getting Old, Part I” and my response to her.

Reader Comment: Unfortunately, I find the prospect terrifying!  I see my mother and it scares me to think I might not be able to remember what I did 5 minutes ago.  This is one of the reasons I have a problem with my husband retiring.  It will make him/us seem old.  I have already out-lived my father which is another mind-bending idea. I am kind of pessimistic in that I equate getting older with getting sick and feeble.  

I cannot remember a time when I wanted to be older!  Even as a kid!  Maybe this is because I spent my first 8 1/2 years as an only child among adults and senior citizens dealing with all sorts of maladies. Both my parents were only children and solely responsible for my grandparents, so there were a lot of doctor visits and medical concerns – especially with one grandmother who had cancer.

Gee, just writing about this had been depressing!  The only thing I can say I would look forward to is grandchildren.  This would make me want to take better care of myself and live longer. 

I think a need a glass of Bailey’s now.

My Response:  Thank you for your note in response to my email.  Terror is not a good feeling to have.  Sick and feeble is also not something any of us wants.  I found your comments very interesting about never wanting to be older when you were a child because of all of the sickness around you.  Isn’t it interesting how our specific experiences, even as a child, shape our outlook and actions many years later. 

I don’t know if you had a chance to read my blog on getting older on my webpage.  I was pleasantly surprised when I found the article on my hard drive which I had written in 1998 when I was 56.  I then found a follow up article I wrote for myself in 2005.  I will add that to my blog soon.  And over the next couple of weeks, I will write another update on getting older. 

My wife and I were not concerned about retiring, whatever that means today.  But we have found out several things over the last several years as we have gotten older.  One is that the time necessary for physical repairs, maintenance and upkeep has increased significantly.   A second thing is that we don’t have the stamina we used to have so no matter what we are doing.  We love interacting with our grandson and granddaughter, but it does wear us out.  I am sure when you and your husband have the opportunity, you will be great grandparents.  It is a delight, even if it wears you out sometimes.  A third thing we have found out is that there are so many opportunities to volunteer and be active in all kinds of charities and organizations.  No matter what your interests (yes, there are opportunities to see the Cubs) and what you like to do, someone or some organization can use your help.  The good thing about being a volunteer is that you can do the things that really fit you and are interesting to you and you don’t have to do it all the time.  You can name your own schedule pretty much.  And people with whom you work and/or help are really delighted with your help and interest.

WHY I AM WRITING A BLOG

Since my book was published ten months ago, I have had the opportunity to make presentations to and have discussions about my book with a wide variety of audiences.  I have made 15 presentations so far.  They have been at public libraries, book clubs, community services clubs, and universities.  More are scheduled.  You can view a listing of past and future presentations by clicking on the Appearances tab of this website.

 During that same time, I have also had the opportunity to speak to and have discussions about another topic to which I am devoting a significant amount time.  The group is called SEED – Sustainable Edible Economic Development, Inc.  SEED is a not for profit corporation whose Mission is: Making lives better and creating jobs through healthy, sustainable, local agriculture.  Its Vision is to increase and diversify the production and distribution of local, wholesome, agricultural products. I serve as Board President of SEED. 

In both cases, the audience members have ranged in age from 19 to 90 years old. 

I have also had the opportunity to correspond with a number of authors about the ideas in their books and the ideas in my books.

Several things have struck me as I interact with all of these groups.

1. Many people are hungry for the opportunity to talk and think about serious matters which we all wonder about from time to time.

 2. People are discouraged and turned off by the polarization they see in the world of politics, religion, economics, and other important matters.

 3. People are looking for new approaches to a whole range of practical issues including making a living, raising a family, building community, balancing individual wants and needs with the common good, and re-imagining and restructuring the economic system.

 The ideas I set forth in my book are not just the theoretical musings of someone who sits around and likes to philosophize about “deep” subjects.  I am a very practical man.  But I learned long time ago that there are three things that lead me to dig deeply into a wide variety of subjects:

 1. Problems can’t be solved if we don’t understand the root causes and underlying reasons for things.

 2. Ideas have consequences.  What we think and what we believe lead us to make choices for good or ill for ourselves, our families, and the broader world with which we interact on a daily basis.

 3. Love needs to be a part of the solution to problems.  Just as ideas have consequences, our unique human capacity to love and hate also have consequences.

 So every two weeks I am going to post a new entry to the blog.  It may be an essay or opinion piece, a book review or correspondence with an author, or an update on SEED, etc.  The next blog will be posted on May 29.

 All blog entries will be making connections between our unique human capacities of knowing and loving and how we might think about and act to address real, practical issues and challenges, thereby creating a better world, a happier world, a flourishing world for us as individuals, our families, the broader human community, and the natural world all around us.

 Your thoughts, ideas, and experiences in relationship to my book and the blog will be welcome and appreciated.  I will respond to your comments and ideas on a timely basis. 

Based on the essay above, here are two questions about which I would like to hear from you:

1. Many people are discouraged and turned off by the polarization they see in the world of politics, religion, and economics.  What set of ideas do you find which are most polarizing and that you would like to discuss in a more open-minded manner?

2. If you could snap your fingers and two things would happen to make the world better for yourself, your family, and/or the broader world we live in, what would those two things be?

In the meantime:

Be Joyful!  Have Fun!  Be the happy person you were born to be!