Konjectural Kombat

Round 8: Assassin's Brawl - Princip Vs. Oswald

wmj88@yahoo.com ("Professor" Johnson & "Fanboy" Koch) — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 08:31:00 +0000

History Wins. Fatality.

In a shocking turn of events, a victor in the fight between factual and fictional is claimed... and still, the show must go on! Following a lengthy absence, Konjectural Kombat returns with an all-new, all-different status quo that is sure to rock the foundations of how historically based fighting podcasts are made! The first casualty? One half of the show's very premise! But in it's place, a third konjecturalist is named - Below The Bible Belt's very own resident ballerina belligerent, James Lewis! But don't believe for a moment that the show's lost it's way, as The Historical Heathen unleashes a worthy challenge upon his newfound audience of two that's sure to be considered one for the ages: In one corner, reigning cyanide failure and luckiest assassin in the history of the world, Gavrilo Princep! In the other, the bane of Jack Ruby's existence and retired defector of the United States, Lee Harvey Oswald! Listen in as Professor Matt reveals their bizarrely parallel rise to infamy, the circumstances surrounding their moments of... triumph?, and perhaps the strangest ensuing battle in the history of the show! Apart, they are Matt, Alex, and James. Together? They are the new KONJECTURAL KOMBAT!

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Round 7: Tables, Ladders, Chairs, and Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles

wmj88@yahoo.com ("Professor" Johnson & "Fanboy" Koch) — Sun, 01 Feb 2015 23:09:00 +0000

It's a madhouse in The White House yet again! For this round, The Historical Heathen enlists an extra set of hands to aide The Fictional Fuck-Up in laying down the law, because it's a Presidential Fatal Fourway! So listen in as The Konjecturalists are joined by a man armed with the tiniest of tendons to ask that all important question: Who takes The Oval Office? Adams/Jefferson? Harrison/Tyler? Roosevelt/Truman? Or maybe even... Kennedy/Johnson?! Whoever wins, the country loses!

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Round 6: Caped Vs. Cowled

wmj88@yahoo.com ("Professor" Johnson & "Fanboy" Koch) — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 04:27:00 +0000

Holy heavyweights! A raging battle that's been 75 years in the making! This time, the rug has been completely pulled out from under the Historical Heathen's feet, as the Fictional Fuck-Up - like the dastardly villain that he is - throws him into dire peril with only one chance of escape... let Batmen fight! With enough twists and turns worthy of The Caped Crusader's vast history and many varied depictions, the two celebrate the milestone anniversary of Batman's 1939 debut by leaving no Dark Knight unscathed! No Dually Deputized Agent of the Law untarnished! And possibly... no Batman alive?! From the Gotham by Gaslight to the depths of the Batcave, this is one Konjectural Kombat you dare... not... miss!

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DISCLAIMER: At times, the audio quality will fluctuate. This was unavoidable and the best was done to preserve the original recording.

All credit goes to Mike Napier of the Pulp Nightmare podcast for being our personal Harold The Mechanic and fixing the unfixable. He must have been King of the Wicker People.

Round 5: Marius vs. Sulla

wmj88@yahoo.com ("Professor" Johnson & "Fanboy" Koch) — Mon, 14 Apr 2014 12:02:00 +0000

History wreaks havoc once again! Tales of factuality triumph over terrible tragedy! Words of wisdom are imparted by the wise and the whimsical! What we're saying is, it's that time again for the Historical portion of the program, as the Historical Heathen forcibly ties the Fictional Freemason down on the railroad tracks of Past Events to verbally spout factoids set not so close to their own native soil. We're travelling to Ancient Rome for this tale of the tape, so prepare yourselves, because on this episode, we're pitting seven-time consul Gaius Marius against his real-life rival Dictator Lucius Cornelius Sulla! Who will win? Who will lose? Who will stare into their eyes of their own would-be assassin and force HIM to blink?! Find out on... Konjectural Kombat!

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Round 4: Darth Vs. Doom

wmj88@yahoo.com ("Professor" Johnson & "Fanboy" Koch) — Sun, 30 Mar 2014 06:19:00 +0000

Villainous things are happening in the latest edition of Konjectural Kombat, as the ball is once again found in the Fictional Fuck-up's court... until he needs the Historical Heathen to help him, because they're actually both on pretty equal footing when it comes to the subjects of today's bout! But regardless, the time has come to once again conjecture about two characters who exist in culture of the pop variety, pitting two of the most fearsome caped villains in all of fiction-dom against eachother in a battle that spans from the walls of a third-world country all the way to a galaxy far, far away. That's right, this episode tackles one of the most infamous match-ups in fandom - in one corner, sworn enemy of The Fantastic Four and one of the top supervillains in the Marvel Universe, Doctor Doom! And in the other, feared apprentice of Emperor Palpatine and Lord of the Sith, Darth Vader! Who will win? Who will lose? Who will be hypnotized into believing they're a chicken?! Find out in round four of... Konjectural Kombat!

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Round 3: Democratic Donnybrook

wmj88@yahoo.com ("Professor" Johnson & "Fanboy" Koch) — Mon, 17 Feb 2014 00:46:00 +0000

Pandemonium! In Round Three, the battle escalates to it's craziest proportions yet, as the Historical Heathen unleashes an unforseen catalyst for chaos onto the Fictional Fuck-up: Konjectural Kombat's first ever Royal Rumble (but don't call it that!)! And what better subjects to start out with than historical harbingers of war, The United States Presidents! So prepare for emanicipation with blood, steel yourselves against electoral carnage, and dread four more years of death and destruction, because the Commander-In-Chiefs are dropping the bomb - on eachother!

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Round 2: Who vs. Highlander

wmj88@yahoo.com ("Professor" Johnson & "Fanboy" Koch) — Fri, 17 Jan 2014 17:00:00 +0000

Are you ready for another bout? Because it's time, once again, to celebrate the glorious carnage of two figures factual or fictional duking it out for the sheer amusement of two fanboys with nothing better to do with their time! And in this episode, for the very first time ever it's the latter, as the Historical Hick (Matt Johnson) finds himself in the listener's chair, becoming privy to the Fictional Fanboy's (Alex Koch) slave devotion to all things make believe! Witness a clash of the ages as two immortal characters square off in the theoretical arena - First up, there can be only one, as Connor 'The Highlander' MacCleod takes up the sword against the evils of repetitive screenwriting! Then, it's a doozy, as his opponent's history is detailed at length in a journey that travels across time and space itself - literally. The Doctor is here, and he's waiting to inflict wibbly wobbly, timey wimey all over a Scotsman's ass. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will die, regenerate, die, regenerate, and die again? Only to regenerate? Find out in round two of... Konjectural Kombat!

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Round 1: Jones vs. Marcinko

wmj88@yahoo.com ("Professor" Johnson & "Fanboy" Koch) — Tue, 17 Dec 2013 17:13:00 +0000

In Round One, listen in as the Historical Hick (Matt Johnson) spins a yarn and teaches the Fictional Fanboy (Alex Koch) a thing or two about both the man who helped found the US Navy and the man who, two centuries later, would best them at every turn! In the first Historical bout, the mad ship captain turned thief of plates, John Paul Jones, sets sail on a course to kick the ass of ass-kicker extraordinaire and the man the military didn't want you to know about, Richard "Dynamite Dick" Marcinko! Who'll win this first challenge, methodical madness or modern melee? And better yet, what's Bruce Willis have to do with it all?!

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