Kosher Whine

Bonkers for Back-to-School

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 05:26:00 +0000

I am sitting in the middle of a giant pile of crayons and markers. There is a stack of tissue boxes in front of me, obscuring my view of the television, and I can't keep my hands off the new Spiderman thermos I just bought for KosherCop. It's shiny.

I keep wondering how old I will be before "back-to-school" stops being a time of wonder and excitement. Apparently, I am also a dork who loves school supplies.

And this time we finally have someone going back to school. KosherCop is off to kindergarten in a couple of weeks. It's not really that much of a transition - instead of going to a Jewish preschool housed in our synagogue, he will be going to a Jewish day school housed in our synagogue. The change seemed so effortless I was actually worried that I might be cheated out of all the angst mother's of 5 year olds all over the country are right this minute experiencing!

But then I went online to the new school's website and discovered there was a parent handbook to read. And supplies to purchase! And a summer reading project!

Wait - a summer reading project for kids who haven't actually started school yet? And can't read? It's really work for us parents - we have to get the books from the library, read them to our child, and fill out a log. The log doesn't even ask for their favorite part. Just title, author, and parent's signature.

Oh well. I already finished all the forms the school sent. At least I have something else to fill out.

The funny thing is that KosherCop has been less than enthused about starting this new school. None of his friends will be going there and he has spent the last year of preschool making up games that involved "making a plan to get the [elementary school] kids".

But, this past Sunday we went to Target to pick out an insulated lunch box and he had a complete change of heart. This was my pet project even before I saw the school supply list. Since the school doesn't provide refrigeration or a way to heat food (as the preschool did) I was hell-bent on keeping the bacteria at bay. This is especially hilarious considering the metal box (more on this in a moment) in which my own lunch festered each day all through elementary school.

Once he picked out the lunchbox (tan camoflouge with orange trim - I was horrified), he realized he could get pencils and erasers and his very own pencil sharpener! By the time we got home he was literally dancing around the house saying, "I'm really excited to go back to school now that I have all these new school supplies!"

Part of the reason I was so intent on KosherCop getting a lunchbox he liked was because of my own sad childhood lunchbox trauma.

Picture the scene. It's 1973 and I'm getting ready to start first grade.

We are on our way to visit relatives and it has come to my urgent attention that I need a lunchbox. Rather than take me to pick one out another time, we are parked in the parking lot of the A&P supermarket. It is raining and I'm sitting in the back seat with my two older sisters - in the middle because I'm shortest (remember the hump in the middle of the floor in the back seat of old cars?). I am not allowed to go inside.

I have, however, given my parents very simple, very specific instructions: Please get me a Brady Bunch lunch box. I am very excited about this. I love the Brady Bunch. I play Brady Bunch. I pretend there are seven of us.

After patiently waiting for several minutes I see my parents returning to the car. I can't wait to see my new lunchbox.

They get into the car and hand it to me. It is a Partridge Family lunchbox.

My parents inform me there were no Brady Bunch ones. And, well, the Partridge Family is on after the Brady Bunch. Since I watch it - along with all the other people who just finished watching the Brady Bunch and have simply left their TVs on - my parents believe this is a fitting substitute.

How can they think the Partridge Family is as good as the Brady Bunch? Maybe they aren't my real parents. Maybe I am adopted.

Note to self: Search for real family and hold a grudge for the next 36 years.

Happy Birthday, KosherCook!

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 03:09:00 +0000

Today is KosherCook's birthday!

In usual Kosher Whine style, as I was driving home from work we were still hashing out the details of the celebration. KosherCook wanted to go out to dinner. Meanwhile, I was midway through buying him a birthday cake, card, and card from KosherCop.

I raced home, put away the cake, and enlisted KosherCop to "distract" Daddy while I snuck into the bedroom with armloads of gift wrap and ribbon - then meet me in there to help wrap his gift.

Amazingly, KosherCop did exactly what I asked - he wandered into the kitchen and started talking to his Dad about how he didn't like his cards he made earlier. I thought this was a brilliant diversion.

Little did I know he actually was distraught about his 3 failed attempts to draw a birthday cake as a perfect oval (I love that he gets perspective and doesn't think the cake should be round), and the one small mistake he made on the one beautiful elaborate card he did finish.

By the time he finished telling me about it, he had become completely inconsolable. He was devastated that he didn't have a card and gift that he made. He didn't want to sign the store-bought card I got for him and he certainly didn't want the present to be from him either.

After about a half hour of hysterical tears, I finally convinced him to give KosherCook the card he had made (that wasn't "perfect"), and KosherCop reluctantly dictated the words for the inside:

Dear Daddy,
I don't like this card, but I love you. Happy Birthday. You make yummy dinners. And you are my father. Happy Birthday.

And then he refused to sign it.

We finally made it out to dinner and had a nice meal. Although, KosherCook decided that my last beef kabob was far pinker than I'd ever eat, and helped himself to it before I could stop him. I let it go, since it was his birthday and all. But, I did make it clear that it was a good thing we were already married; if he had taken my last bite of anything on a date it would have been a dealbreaker and we wouldn't be here today.

KosherCook, of course, loved the card KosherCop made and was very happy with his new adjustable measuring cup and adjustable measuring spoons.

When dessert rolled around, we asked if there was any birthday cake - since it was his birthday (wink wink nudge nudge). There was, but there were also two flavors of pie. And KosherCook loves his pie.

For some reason he felt obligated to have cake and the most illogical argument I've ever heard followed:

KosherCook: I guess we'll have the cake.
Waitress: Just one piece?
KosherCook: No, I guess two.
Waitress: Both cake?
Me: If we are getting two why don't you get one cake and one pie?
KosherCook: No, that would be too much.
Me: But you are already getting two desserts - we can all share both.
Waitress: ??
KosherCook: Cake AND pie. No way. That's too much.
Waitress:?? (Looks at me with a look that says "This makes no sense to you either, right?")
Me: How can that be too much when it's the same amount. Two.
KosherCook: I can't possibly eat cake and pie. It's too much. We'll just have two pieces of cake.
Me: ??
Waitress:??
Me: We'll have two pieces of cake. (Give look to waitress that says, "This makes no sense to me either.")

It took me a while, but I think I finally figured out the point where the waitress and I both got lost. We both assumed that if there were two desserts and three people that we would all share the desserts - regardless of what those desserts were.

KosherCook made no such assumption. If we were ordering cake, he was having one piece - by himself - and KosherCop and I would be sharing the second piece. If we were also having pie, he would also be having one piece - by himself.

Clearly a piece of cake and a piece of pie are too much for one person.

What a Difference a Year Makes

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 03:10:00 +0000

My, how things have changed.

Some of you may remember my tales from last summer about KosherCop's over-the-top reactions to the occasional bloody knee or toe. I live in fear of his hysterics with every bump and scrape.

Things have been getting progressively better though. And tonight was downright astonishing.

Our neighborhood had a block party earlier this evening - a once a year (if we are lucky), "night out" against crime affair, where we all stumble out of our houses squinting and rubbing our eyes as we adjust to the fact that there are other people living on the block.

KosherCook and KosherCop were already there when I got home from work, so I walked over and stayed just long enough to say hello and determine that KosherCop had no intention of ever leaving the moonbounce. After 5 hours worth of conference calls at work today, I had neither the energy nor the voice to manage an hour of small talk.

KosherCook mentioned that KosherCop was very excited about having his shoes off - a rule for going on the moonbounce - but he was also walking around the street barefoot. This is usually not allowed. KosherCook doesn't believe in being barefoot. Whenever I walk around the house barefoot he points to my feet and sounds the alarm of "Borves!" much as our Yiddish-speaking forebears would have. (Borves is barefoot in Yiddish.)

Anyway, I made a hasty exit and went back home. Maybe 15 minutes later I hear KosherCop banging on the front door yelling, "Mommy!"

I couldn't get to him immediately and as I weaved my way past the open dishwasher and other obstacles in our tiny kitchen I kept waiting for the sound of KosherCook's key in the lock.

Never heard it.

I finally got to the door and there's KosherCop - all alone, barefoot, and telling me quite calmly, "Mommy, I cut my toe."

So many questions went through my head at the same time: why is my son alone? where is KosherCook? did he let KosherCop walk home alone? did he know he was bleeding and let him go home alone anyway?

A split second later the prevailing thoughts were "call KosherCook" and "get bandaids". I called my husband as I walked KosherCop to the bathroom, because I had no idea if he even knew our son had left the block party.

As it turned out, KosherCook was completely aware - in fact he watched him from the corner, KosherCop's shoes in hand, until he got to our door. The cut came later when he stubbed his bare toe on a crack in the sidewalk.

So while I washed and bandaged my son's toe I marveled at how calm he was, hardly believing it.

No hysterics over a bleeding toe and bare feet allowed outside - all in the same night. Will wonders never cease?!

Backwards Dinner and Too Many Phone Calls

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 03:38:00 +0000

Tonight I had a really good idea. The first one. Ever.

At least that's what I've been told.

Then I was called a "dork who likes boxes." I love being a Mom.

For some reason I was feeling rebellious this evening. As Shabbat was coming to an end I was asked what was for dinner. I suggested ice cream.

KosherCop immediately said, "Mommy, that is a really good idea you have. The first one, really."

KosherCook looked disapprovingly at the two of us. But it was two against one so off we went to Baskin-Robbins.

Before we left the house I asked KosherCop to wash his hands, since he had been playing at the playground. He was cupping his ear with his hand and I thought he had gotten a mosquito bite. No. Apparently he was talking on his cell phone. His imaginary cell phone.

KosherCop: I'm talking to Miss Pinky on my cell phone.
Me: Well put her on hold and go wash your hands.
KosherCop: My phone doesn't have a hold button. If I put her on hold it will explode.
Me: Alright - just tell her excuse me and put the phone down.

Then, as a good Mom should I added,"But for goodness sake - don't get the phone wet!"

The entire way to the ice cream store KosherCop was on the "phone" - and complaining that he couldn't get any peace - "Oy, another call. Why won't everyone just leave me alone!"

Me: You could just turn it off you know.

But no, he continued talking - a long conversation with his friend "The Bug King" about how another friend's imaginary pet tarantula was having tarantula babies. I was shocked and asked if this child's mother knew. Too late - she was already bitten by one. But she was the one who got the tarantula in the first place, apparently.

Well, she got what she deserved then didn't she?

I've clearly lost my mind.

So we had our ice cream and then of course we all decided we wanted dinner. The only thing that could delight KosherCop more than ice cream for dinner was dinner for dessert.

After "dessert" we decided to go to our favorite place - The Container Store - which was surprisingly still open. This was not a popular choice with KosherCop and he grumbled all the way there about how it wouldn't be any fun.

Then when he got inside he said, "Oh sure, if you want to be one of those dorks who likes boxes!"

Hi. My name is Chaya and I'm a dork who likes boxes.

Corn Arugula Omelettata

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 04:23:00 +0000

Tonight was the end of Tisha B'Av, the day commemorating the destruction of both Temples in Jerusalem. It is a fast day, and spent as if in mourning - similar to the observance of shivah. During the 3 weeks before Tisha B'Av we slowly move toward this day of mourning, by refraining from joyous occasions and doing things like listening to music. Then, nine days before Tisha B'Av, things become more intense, and one of the customs is to refrain from eating meat, except on Shabbat.

All of this introduction is to explain last night's vegetarian dinner KosherCook created. It served the dual purpose of being meat-free and using up some of our bountiful CSA corn.

I don't know if "omelettata" is a real word or I just made it up, but I feel that's the only word for this recipe. It is an eggy pie sort of dish - it is allowed to set and then is finished up in the oven like a frittata, but it came out thin (although not folded) like an omelette.

As always, I didn't know I wanted to blog about it until the dish was gone, which is unfortunate because it was really pretty before it was served. There were a few shards left in KosherCop's dish that I was going to save for his lunch today. One piece looked like a teeny pie slice, so I tried photographing it.

By this time KosherCop was hovering and asking questions. He already knew I was planning to post the recipe, so I showed him this photo and asked whether it looked interesting and tasty or unappetizing.

He decided it looked interesting and tasty.

So much so that he ate the rest of my "subject" before the photoshoot was over.

Oh well. Behold the Omelettata. Try it if you dare.

Ingredients:

2 ears fresh corn
Handful of fresh arugula - washed and sliced
6 eggs - beaten
2 tbsp unsalted butter
1 tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Salt
Pepper
Basil

Method:

Cut corn off the cobs, mix with the olive oil, and roast in a roasting pan at 400° F for 10 mins, then shuffle corn around so the other sides cook, and roast another 6 mins.
Melt butter in a large oven-proof pan over low heat.
Add corn and arugula to pan and saute briefly.
Add salt, pepper, and basil to taste
Add eggs to pan and let sit over medium heat for 5-6 mins until set.
Remove from stovetop and put under the broiler - with rack at the highest level - uncovered for 2 minutes.
Cut and serve with salad. Serves 4.

B'tayavon!

Zoom Zoom Buzz Buzz!

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 04:03:00 +0000

Last night we got together with my niece and her boyfriend. They stopped in DC after the first leg of a well-deserved road trip. They both were finishing up their first year of grad school. We decided to have a late dinner at Legal Sea Foods (the Tyson's Galleria location) - the thinking being that everyone could find a fish to love.

That was my first mistake. KosherCop did not want fish. Surprise! How is this possible? This child loves fish. Oh well, he was fine with the "Fish Shaped Ravioli".

The other surprise? Oops. I forgot I wasn't really in the mood for fish. No problem. There was a "Vegetarian Box" that sounded light and fresh.

When our waiter came to the table he asked us if we wanted appetizers. We didn't. So he went away and it was a month before we saw him again.

When he came back he asked us if we wanted appetizers - 3 more times. We still didn't.

He started taking our orders. I knew we were in trouble when KosherCook started joking with him and trying to get a recommendation, and the waiter just told him gruffly that he should pick one.

Next was KosherCop. I asked if the red sauce on the ravioli had any meat or meat stock in it - my standard question when ordering red sauce.

He looked at me like I was an idiot and said pointedly, "It doesn't have any fish in it."

"But is it made with any meat or meat stock?" I persisted.

"Why? Is he allergic to meat?" he asked snottily.

"I. just. want. to. know." So he finally agreed to ask the chef.

He came back with news that the red sauce was vegetarian and...did we want any appetizers?

We finished ordering and decided the waiter must have some incentive - like avoiding death - to push the appetizers, as opposed to, say, a short-term memory issue.

And then we waited. And waited. And waited some more.

When KosherCop was on his fourth dinner roll and lolling on my lap whining that "the food was never coming", it finally arrived.

Everything looked great. Until I saw my dinner.

It was a Chinese take-out box, upside-down on a plate. The server (not our waiter) removed the box with a flourish and what appeared to be some MSG-laden vegetables over rice oozed out.

We finally understood what had taken so long. Legal Sea Foods had to wait for my dinner to be delivered from P.F. Chang's on the other side of the mall.

The rest of the dinner went smoothly. We all enjoyed the conversation. We still did not order appetizers.

All that was left was dessert and there was still a chance of getting KosherCop into bed before midnight.

Only KosherCop and KosherCook ordered dessert. KosherCop wanted ice cream - because that was all I offered him. The waiter gave him a choice of vanilla, chocolate, or coffee.

Now KosherCop is an adventurous eater. Unlike his mother, who always went for chocolate no matter how many new and exotic ice cream flavors were offered, KosherCop is all about trying new flavors. So he picked coffee.

The waiter looked shocked. I smiled and shrugged.

Dessert arrived and since KosherCop was eating quietly, I didn't pay him too much attention. After a little while I thought to ask if he liked it, since I couldn't remember him having eaten coffee ice cream before. He said it was good and gave me a taste.

I took a mouthful and after a few seconds realized what my 5 year-old had been eating: ice cream made with what tasted like crushed espresso beans!

I hadn't considered the possibility that coffee ice cream might have actual coffee in it - every time I've ever had it it's been made with coffee "flavor" or "extract".

The waiter wandered by and before he could offer us appetizers I asked about the caffeine content of KosherCop's ice cream. In his droll manner that I had grown to love over the previous 4 hours he said, "Well it has coffee in it, you know. That's why I was so surprised you let him order it."

Ah, that was what that look meant. Too bad he hadn't used his words. I explained my experience with coffee extract and he decided to ask the chef to be sure.

When he came back he asked, "Uh, how much of it did he eat? Maybe you better not give him any more."

KosherCop was fine with this, as the stimulant properties of his ice cream had kicked in and he needed to go to the restroom - pronto. All the way there, and all the way back he explained in his way of magical thinking, where in his digestive tract he believed the caffeine was and when it would leave him.

I was just thanking my lucky stars it wasn't making him too hyper.

As we settled the bill I suddenly realized that KosherCop was running manically back and forth and slamming into the wall with greater and greater force.

Oh dear.

I made a pitstop and when I met everyone outside, my niece's boyfriend was chasing KosherCop up and down the corridor - he was being a good sport and trying to tire him out. We then went on a 45 minute spree of chasing KosherCop through the entire mall ourselves. I'm not sure I can describe what a 5 year old with a massive caffeine buzz looks and sounds like. He was racing around and talking really fast and was completely unmanageable. Right, so it sounds like any day with a five year old boy. Just multiply that times 100 and you'll have the picture. If he was a cartoon there would be a zooming noise and smoke in the spot where he used to be.

Eventually, we wrangled him out of the mall and into the car. When we got home and tried to put him to sleep there was a lot of silliness and giggling, and his eyes kept popping open at first. But that didn't last too long and he fell asleep pretty quickly.

Now I could relax. Unfortunately Chinese food ordered by way of a fish restaurant still leaves you hungry an hour after you eat it.

Too bad. I could really go for an appetizer.

Fiction Friday: The Alien Story

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 04:01:00 +0000

Over the past several months, KosherCop has become quite the creative writer. He can't technically "write" yet, though, so this translates into a lot of dictation for us me. This time, though, I got lucky and his teacher at camp had to do the writing.

The first few weeks of camp they were doing projects related to outer space, and one of the projects was to write a story about an alien.

KosherCop is very particular about where his secretary is allowed to write the words to the story - which happens after the he draws the picture. So I feel fairly confident that he decided where the words were written on this story.

Pretty nice composition for a 5 year old, no?

Anyway, without further ado, I give you KosherCop's Alien Story:

The alien is on Jupiter.

A rocket comes and he says, "Oh no! People are going to find out that I really exist."

He turns invisible. Then the rocket lands right on him. The alien says, "Ugh!" Then he slowly crawls out from the rocket.

He goes into his house. He looks out the window. He sees that the men are getting out.

Then they turn off the fire in the rocket. They say, "We have to see if aliens exist."

The alien got all his friends and they discussed a plan.

They worked on some kind of potion. When no one was looking they poured the potion on the rocket.

Instead of the rocket going back to Earth, it blew up.

Then the men found materials to make a new rocket. Then they blasted off.

But they didn't know that one alien took a picture of one of the men. In the picture there was another person, but when the alien took the picture he was invisible.

It was not an alien. It was a ghost.

The End.

I don't know about you, but I loved the surprise ending. Who would have guessed? A Ghost!

ViviLulu

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 04:26:00 +0000

Several years ago, before I started Kosher Whine, I wrote on another blog called ViviLulu. I wasn't quite sure what I wanted this blog to be, and as a result it never really had a cohesive theme.

It was sort of about being a working mom married to a stay-at-home dad, mid-century design, and being frustrated with living in the suburbs and losing all sense of a personality. Instead of the cool bohemian art student I used to be when I was younger, I was frumpy, lumpy, and grumpy.

I dubbed myself "ViviLulu: Queen of Schluburbia" and wrote there for a while. But, eventually it became too hard to sustain, since there was never a clear vision for the site.

In any case, I'm in the process of revamping ViviLulu into a site that does have a clear purpose, and I've moved the existing posts over here to Kosher Whine.

They are all under the tag from ViviLulu and although they may not have a common theme, some of the KosherCop stories are pretty cute. Oh, and just to add to the confusion, my husband, KosherCook, was called Leo and KosherCop, our son, was called Henry in the ViviLulu posts.

You can start here with Queen of Schluburbia and work your way up.

Good luck and don't take any wooden nickels.

Weight Watchers

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 03:38:00 +0000

Just a quick update on yesterday's recipe.

I have been doing Weight Watcher's since January (and lost 12 lbs. - Thank you, thank you), so I went back and added the points for a serving of the Chicken Cucumber Salad With Tortelli. (4 points/ serving)

Firefly Buddies

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 03:17:00 +0000

Fireflies! They are everywhere!

If you happened to see this article on fireflies this past weekend in the Washington Post you would know that we have had terrific weather for fireflies to come out and play. And they are out in droves.

KosherCop has finally discovered the joys of catching lightning bugs and has been out every night over the last week and a half - first to catch them in a jar, then just to run with them.

Most recently he has taken to running screaming through the front yard at top volume, "Aaaah! My firefly buddies! I love you! Come back firefly - my little buddy!"

Last night we tried attracting them with a flashlight. I felt kind of bad - I think one of them fell in love with it. Poor unrequited firefly love.

A few weeks ago when I finally found a sharp enough object to make holes in the lid of the jar, I let KosherCop catch some and bring them inside for the night.

About an hour after he went to sleep I was on the phone and noticed a little firefly on the bedroom door. I went out and took a head count. Three. One had in fact escaped. Apparently I made the holes too big in the top. I returned the little firefly to captivity and wondered who'd be left by morning.

Apparently only that one was smart enough to find his way out. He was gone again by morning, at which time we set them free. Mister escape artist turned up a day or two later - dead by the back door.

If only he knew where we kept the key.

Chicken Cucumber Salad With Tortellini

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 02:31:00 +0000

Tonight, we had a light and delicious summer supper that KosherCook came up with.

First, I'd like to apologize for not having a picture of the dish. I forgot the camera wasn't charged up, and...well, now the food is gone. Sorry - it was really yummy.

But, I can post the recipe for you. It not only garnered "19 thumbs up" from KosherCop (his highest praise for food), but he insisted on drawing this logo to add to the post as his personal stamp of approval. In case you can't tell, that is a heart over the person's head to show that he loves the food.

As always, KosherCook just creates and the recipe comes later when I try to pin him down on how he made the dish. So most seasonings are approximate or by taste.

Ingredients:

Tortellini (we used NY Pasta Authority California Sun-Dried Tomato Tortellini - pareve)
1 pound Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts
1 Cucumber, peeled with seeds removed
1/3 Pablano Pepper
1/3 Red Bell Pepper
1 Head Romaine Lettuce
1 1/2 TBSP Mayonnaise
approx 1 tsp Lemon Juice
Dried Rosemary
Fresh Ground Black Pepper
Italian Dressing
Tarragon Vinegar

Method:

Dice the chicken breasts
Spray non-stick pan with vegetable oil spray and sautee chicken breasts. Season with dried rosemary and black pepper (several pinches)
Sprinkle with lemon juice and cover to finish cooking
Put in chicken in fridge to cool
Cook tortellini according to instructions, drain and put aside
Dice peppers and cucumber, combine in glass dish or measuring cup, and sprinkle with tarragon vinegar. Set aside for 10 minutes or so
When chicken has cooled, combine with vegetables and tortellini, add mayonnaise and a couple of squirts of italian dressing. Mix well.
Serve on whole Romaine lettuce leaves

Makes about 6 servings. Each serving is 4 Weight Watcher's points.

Enjoy!

Who's Watching Over Me?

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 04:57:00 +0000

We have a new fairy godmother. It's called Anthem HMO. I'm pretty sure it stands for Horrible Monetary Option.

Or maybe it's Hyperventilating More Often.

Several months ago the company I work for sent around an email saying they were shopping for new health insurance. We were asked to fill out a survey about what we would want in a new insurance option. I was very specific - I would be happy with any option that was the same price or cheaper that had exactly the same coverage - or better.

Obviously, my opinion was not given much weight.

A while later we were told that Anthem was the leading contender and asked to please log into their website - following a specific set of instructions - and check if our current doctors were on the plan.

I was greatly relieved to find that all of our doctors were on the plan.

Then came the sales pitch - the insurance rep came in to give us an overview of our benefits. It sounded great! Everything we had before but no referrals. No more trips to our insane primary care doctor who sends us to the ER every time we need further testing.

Yep, everything sounded great. But...oh wait...some things would now cost $150 instead of $0. Oh well. All those $20 copays we'd be saving by going straight to a specialist without stopping at the PCP for a referral would even things out.

Oh, and by the way, the insurance company wants you to take the generic version of a drug if it's available.

That sounded reasonable - most doctors check that box on the prescription to allow generic if available.

Oh, and make sure if you go to Urgent Care you check if the doctor on duty is in-network or you will have to pay through the nose. Huh? Who the hell knows which doctor at an Urgent Care facility takes which insurance? Usually the Urgent Care facility is either in-network or not. (This is a huge problem for us since we avoid our doctor at all costs and try very hard to get sick after hours and on weekends.)

Better yet, just call the insurance company before doing anything to make sure it's covered.

Also, there was an HMO and PPO option. The first 95% of the presentation was about the PPO. There was one PowerPoint slide at the end that the rep rushed through, basically saying Oh, everything is exactly the same as the PPO but there is no out-of-network price. Either the doctor is in-network or you pay the whole thing.

Hmm. I was planning to choose the HMO option. It was the same price as what I was already paying and the PPO was 2x more expensive. I better check on this in-network situation.

No worries. The only difference was the out-of-network price, but all the doctors in the network were the same - supposedly 93% of all doctors in our area.

So I felt okay about the new insurance. Could be worse. I didn't stress about it.

For a few weeks we got reminders to fill out the application and I kept putting it off.

Finally, the day it was due I started filling it out. There was a space to fill in our Primary Care doctor and their PCP#. I went to the website, followed the new instructions specifically for the HMO option and discovered much to my horror, that only one doctor that anyone in the family goes to is in-network for the HMO!

I figured I must be doing something wrong and asked the HR director what it was. She emailed back that my doctors probably just weren't in the HMO - hers weren't; that's why she picked the PPO!

Oy. Apparently, when we were asked to check a few months ago, we were checking if our doctors were in the PPO plan. That's why they came up.

Crap. The expensive PPO plan was not an option for us. We could not afford that much more taken out of each paycheck.

KosherCook and I have been completely stressed out ever since, because this change has proven to be just as aggravating and problematic as it sounded. In just the two short weeks since it started, the new insurance has "caused confusion and delay" (to quote Sir Topham Hatt) getting doctor's appointments and tests scheduled.

But, the icing on the cake was on Friday afternoon when I went to pick up my asthma medications I take daily and they weren't covered. Anthem thinks I should be taking something they like better - a cheaper medication that I've already tried and doesn't work.

Maybe HMO stands for "Help - More Oxygen!"

Earth Hour 2009

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 03:30:00 +0000

Tonight at Chez Kosher Whine we participated in Earth Hour 2009. At 8:30pm we turned off our lights along with a billion or so other people around the world to help raise awareness and vote for more action on climate change.

I have no idea if it will change anything, but it would be nice if it did.

What I do know is that it was completely confusing to turn all the lights off right after Shabbat ended. It was even more confusing because KosherCop and I watched a dvd on the computer (via battery power - since flashlights were okay I figured the laptop was okay too).

So there we were in the dark, watching a movie - the power wasn't out so if we wanted to we could turn on the lights and they would have worked. We chose not to turn on the lights yet anything we could manage to do in the dark without breaking our necks was perfectly permissible - cooking, cleaning, writing, etc. Very confusing.

KosherCook and I always experience this same confusion on secular American holidays, especially Thanksgiving when there is a "festive meal." We always walk around all day reminding ourselves its okay to write, phone, cook, and no - we don't have to wait until sundown to eat or light candles.

But, tonight our self-imposed darkness only lasted an hour - an hour that a very tired KosherCop couldn't even make it through. He has a cold - complete with fever - and was begging to go to sleep by 9:15 - which is obviously well past his bedtime. Luckily, flashlight teethbrushing is one of KosherCook's many talents and KosherCop was too tired to ask for a story. Although KosherCook could probably have managed that as well, since he was perfectly happy to read by hurricane lamp candlelight for an hour.

What was interesting was that we talked to my Aunt this evening and KosherCop told her all about how were going to be turning off the lights and why. When I got back on the phone I clarified a few details and her answer was okay, I guess I'll turn my lights off at 8:30 too.

Now this is an 80-something year old woman who lives alone, and yet she was willing to participate in this brief bit of activism with absolutely no convincing. Pretty cool of her, and more importantly, it shows how easy it is to get people on board with this line of thinking.

Birthday Mania

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 04:09:00 +0000

Hurry! There are only a few shopping days left until KosherCop's birthday. Only 185 to be exact.

It's 6 months out and KosherCop is already talking about his next birthday party. To be fair, he actually started planning it as soon as his friends left his last party in September. But, we hadn't heard about for several months.

Now, fueled on by the sugar-coated memories of Goof Girl's in-school birthday party, KosherCop is back on track and has a clear creative vision of what the next birthday party should entail.

On Tuesday he presented his plan. I have to admit I don't remember all of it. That's mostly due to the fact that he opened with "all the kids will come to our house" and I started blacking out - even as I considered the possibility that there may still be tuna fish in the piano from his last party.

On Wednesday he interrupted his own story he had begged to tell me, to let me know that his next birthday cake would need to be a train cake again - with 2 layers - one chocolate and the other vanilla. And that he expected me to make it.

But tonight he outdid himself. He must have figured out by my previous lack of enthusiasm that this whole birthday planning project might require a little more finesse. So he took a whole new tack.

We had just arrived at the synagogue for evening minyan (my mother's yartzeit is today so I was there to say Kaddish) and the parking lot was full due to a 6th grade performance of "Fiddler on the Roof" already in progress.

KosherCook let us out so he could go look for a parking space. As we were getting out of the car, commiserating about the yuckiness of the rain, KosherCop suddenly says, "As long as we were speaking about my birthday..."

"Actually, we weren't speaking about your birthday," I told him.

"Oh," KosherCop paused thoughtfully and then continued, "well, as long as you mentioned it, let me tell you what I want for my next party..."

Of course I never heard what it was because I was laughing too loud to hear him.

Almost Spring!

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 05:05:00 +0000

Hello! Is anyone still there?

I seem to have been hibernating for the last 4 months. But, now it is almost spring and I've decided to poke my head up from my cave and start writing again.

The last few months have been very busy - mostly with getting ready for CSA season.

However, there have been some hilarious KosherCop moments along the way.

KosherCop has made big leaps in both creative and emotional growth over the last few months. We took his baby dresser out of his room and put in a big boy desk. So now he spends much of his time coloring and drawing. There have also been stories and interpretive dances (more on these later).

However, along with this increase in creativity came an increase in sensitivity.

We get a lot of "Fine! Then I guess you hate me!" if we say no about anything. There have been a lot of tears over the fact that none of us live forever and the possibility of his having to leave home someday (in the interest of him ever going to bed at night we've agreed he can live at home forever - for now anyway). There were also a few nights when he burst into tears as I sang him Oyfn Pripetchik (the Yiddish lulluby I've been singing to him since he was born) because he was overwhelmed by the beauty of the song, or how much he loves his Mommy, or the song made him sad.

And then there's his vocabulary.

KosherCook has been teaching him SAT words - the "Word of the Day" posted on the High School marquee they pass on the way to KosherCop's school. Some days he remembers them; other days he has forgotten them by the time I come home from work. And then some he actually learns and incorporates into his everyday conversations. Like the day KosherCook answered me for the 10millionth time with, "Eh, I don't know, maybe, I guess." KosherCop heard him and said, "That was a pretty tepid response, Daddy."

The Kosher Whine Wedding Mix

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 05:06:00 +0000

A couple of weeks ago KosherCook and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. In classic Kosher Whine style, we were both sick and missed our big date night out.

At least we exchanged gifts. And I do mean it was the absolute least either of us could have done. I decided to carry on the tradition KosherCook started last year
and bought his gifts at CVS: chocolates and a sodoku magazine.

He chose a more subtle gift. So subtle that I didn't even notice it until he told me about it.

I called him from work during the day and he asked if I liked my gift. Uh, what gift?

Apparently he had sneaked out to the car in the middle of the night and left a mix tape in my stereo. I had gotten into my car that morning, turned on my radio, saw that a tape was in the tape player and promptly took it out assuming KosherCook had used the car and left it in there.

Well, it was actually very sweet and romantic and I missed it. It was the mix tape that KosherCook had recorded the night before our wedding to play during our reception when the band went on breaks.

In his younger days KosherCook had been a DJ for a college radio station, so the tape ranged from obscure hilarious B side singles from his childhood (inside jokes with his family that I was let in on) to songs about love and marriage. Much of it sounds like what you would get if you knocked together the heads of Frank Sinatra, Johnny Mathis, and Elvis Costello, and then took whatever spilled out and sprinkled it over Broadway.

I love it. And I decided it would be fun to share it with all of you.

I created a playlist of all the songs I could find online. Unfortunately some of KosherCook's choices were so obscure there was no digital download available for them. And I couldn't always find the song sung by the same person as on the mix tape, but I think you will get the idea.

You can listen to the Official Kosher Whine Wedding Mix here. Enjoy!

PS - If you are dying to see the wacky tracks that weren't available digitally, feel free to email me and I'll send you the complete list of what was on the tape.

Paper Toys

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 22:45:00 +0000

Poor KosherCop has a cold. A wet, sloppy, snuffly, hacking cold. The kind I haven't seen the likes of since he first started preschool and would come home sick every other week.

Since Monday is CSA day, KosherCop usually stays for "late-stay" at his school. That way KosherCook can manage the veggie pickup. So, since KosherCop was not in school, I worked from home today and looked after him. It was actually kind of nice - he's very snuggly when he's sick. And most of the day he was content to watch TV or do art projects.

He is really into cutting paper these days. He got a workbook a couple of years ago with pages of pictures to cut out - mostly for the practice of using the scissors - that was too hard for him. Just recently, though, he discovered this book and has cut his way through most of it. In fact, the few pages left are not challenging enough for him.

So as part of the keeping-the-whining-to-a-minimum extravaganza, I went looking for some more pictures for KosherCop to cut out. I remembered about the wonderful site, The Toymaker, a site I had subscribed to a while ago and filed away for future reference. Marilyn Scott Waters is an illustrator who designs paper toys you can download for free on her website. We downloaded the "Chocolate Truck" you see above and the "Fast Race Car".

KosherCop started cutting out the Chocolate Truck and got carried away and hacked off the wheels. Since he is really good at cleaning up his mess, he decided both the toys should be recycled and stuffed them in the recycling bin. Hours later I realized what happened, fished out the sheets, flattened them, reattached the wheels on the chocolate truck and tried to assemble it.

Ours did not turn out quite as nice as the picture above from the Toymaker's site, but it sure was cute. All the toys available are quite whimsical and delightful - I highly recommend visiting it. If I was printing them out for an older child, I probably would have printed them on cardstock so they were easier to put together. But with KosherCop I figured it would just mean nicer paper was going to end up in the recycling.

Another site that has a great selection of free downloads is the Canon site - they have a whole town you can print, cut, and assemble. The toys there are a little more complicated. I printed out parts of the town to put together myself when KosherCop was younger, and I think even now they are little too complicated for him. But they are pretty cool.

It's frustrating, though, because I can remember being sick as a child and my own mother would bring me these workbooks with a city or a circus or some other scene that had perforated pieces that I could punch out and assemble. In fact I remember spending a long, itchy week with the chicken-pox playing exclusively with these workbooks until a small city had sprouted up and overtaken our dining room. I cannot find anything like this anywhere now.

The other thing that provided far too much entertainment for my sick kid, was going to amazon.com and looking up every single Magic Treehouse book.

I have no one but myself to blame for this.

Yesterday we were supposed to go to the library after running errands, also to look at Magic Treehouse books. Not to borrow them - we already have a bunch out - just to look at them. As the day wore on, I realized he was getting sick and I felt pretty crappy myself. I wanted to get him home, so as he was crying (or trying to - his heart wasn't really in it) I dangled the promise of hot chocolate and "looking inside" the books online instead of going to the library.

Well, this was an instant hit and the fun continued today. KosherCop had me look up every book that had the "click to look inside" graphic so he could view each cover up close, find out the chapter names, and read the excerpt. He was very careful to avoid spoiling any upcoming plotlines, so for each book we had to stop reading when the kids reached the treehouse. For those of you who are familiar with these books, I'm sure you have noticed that as good as these books are, there is a formula. So essentially we read 25 times about 2 kids either waking up in the middle of the night or sitting on the porch in the rain, yelling "be right back" to one or both of their parents, and dashing off into the woods. Then KosherCop would hold up his hand and say "Stop! Go Back."

It never got old - for KosherCop. Me, you coulda stuck a fork in me after the first 3. The best part was that he kept telling me - while I was trying to work - that he "needed the computer".

Ah yes, my first taste of things to come. I didn't expect to hear that for a couple of years yet.

Chocolate and Chocolat

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 07:15:00 +0000

Being completely out of touch, I just recently - finally - saw the wonderful movie "Chocolat", and fell in love with "Vianne Rocher", the main character that Juliette Binoche plays.

The following week we took KosherCop to the library to try to get more "Magic Treehouse" books. There were none, but in the place where they should have been was flyer listing all the books that Treehouse fans might also enjoy so we discovered some new wonderful books.

The way these excursions generally work is that one parent stays with KosherCop while the other gets to look for their own books. Then, when that parent finally decides to come back, the other can use the last five minutes to look for a book before a) the library closes or b) KosherCop realizes he is ~~hungry~~ starving and we have to go. This time I let KosherCook look for some books first and was left with five minutes to do my usual commando-style raid on the new fiction section.

My typical M.O. is to scoop up 4 or 5 books that seem mildly interesting and hope that one of them is worth reading. But this time I only needed 1 minute.

The first book I saw was the sequel to "Chocolat", "The Girl with No Shadow" by Joanne Harris. I didn't need 4 more "just in case" books - I was fully committed to reading this one book and couldn't wait to get home to read it.

The only problem was that once I started reading it, I began to notice small inconsistencies between references to things that had happened in the book "Chocolat" and the movie. I don't typically like to see the movie version of a book I've really enjoyed, and I certainly don't like to go back and read a book after I've seen the movie - I find myself imagining all the characters as the actors who played them and that gets really annoying.

But this time I was torn. I was immediately drawn into the story but part of me wanted to stop reading and go back and read "Chocolat" first, before continuing with the sequel. Of course I couldn't stop reading "The Girl With No Shadow" because it was far too good to put down and I couldn't get back to the library quick enough to get the first book.

In the end it didn't matter. Joanne Harris gives enough back story that I felt confident that the plot of the movie was similar enough to the book that I didn't feel left out reading this one first.

And since I am very sad that I've finished it, I can read "Chocolat" just so I can spend some more time with the characters.

One thing I did find odd was that "The Girl With No Shadow" was originally published in the UK with a much better title - "The Lollipop Shoes". It had a better cover too as far as I can tell. I'm curious why the publishers (or author, I suppose) felt Americans would be less likely to buy a book called "The Lollipop Shoes".

I feel a little jealous of everyone who got to read it under the original title. But, it didn't diminish my enjoyment of the book - I still loved it.

And I have been craving (and eating) chocolate like there's no tomorrow. I especially want to try chocolate with chili pepper in it, now. I actually found some, but it wasn't hekshered. Darn!

In the Case of Yogurt v. Yogurt

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 05:45:00 +0000

Yesterday KosherCook, KosherCop, and I were out and about having some free fun (a trip to the toy and hobby shop to look at model trains instead of shelling out 14 bucks for the same thing at the Montgomery County Fairgrounds). We were over at Federal Plaza in Rockville, where we noticed that a new yogurt shop opened up called Yogiberry.

So after we pried KosherCop away from all the trains (he literally walked up and down the model train aisles going, "Ooh! Ooh! Oh Wow! Ah! Ooh!") by finding some free catalogs for him to take (and I point out they were free because most of the catalogs were for sale in this store) we went to check out the new yogurt place.

Now the original reason I was going to write this post was because this Yogiberry place had a promotion that really offended KosherCook. It was aimed at Stay-At-Home-Moms with 10% off on certain weekday afternoons. And at the bottom it actually said the offer was for Moms only. So KosherCook pointed out to the guy at the counter that he was a Stay-At-Home-Dad and this wasn't fair. The counter guy actually seemed concerned that this was in fact unfair, but then suggested that I could perhaps send KosherCook with a note saying he had my permission to get the discount or something ridiculous like that.

So my plan was to post this for all the SAHDs that have ever been discriminated against. Unfortunately, I couldn't remember the exact details of the promotion, so I went to the website hoping it would be online and eventually started Googling to see if it was online anywhere. I didn't find the promotion. What I did happen upon was actually much more interesting to me.

Apparently a California based yogurt company called Pinkberry has sued this new Maryland based Yogiberry company for infringement of their trademarked name and service marks and for basically imitating their concept and brand.

The reason I find this so fascinating is that I've done identity design work as a graphic designer and it is a big fat pain in the tuchus. Coming up with a company's identity is the fun part - sitting there and figuring out the rules of usage for their logo - which colors, how much room must be left around the logo - not so much fun. It is just as annoying to have to learn and put into practice these rules for every client you design for. But it's done for a reason, and there are laws in place to protect these marks for a reason.

Having already been to Yogiberry's site I went to Pinkberry's site to see if their logos were really that similar. I didn't really think they were. But both sites were very spare with a lot of pastel.

Then I looked at the picture of Pinkberry's interior of their shops - okay I was starting to see their point. When we went to Yogiberry, one of the things that was so cool about it was the decor. Ultramodern, pastel, colored lucite chairs and white tables...a lot like this. The big brown wall was white at Yogiberry, but other than that it was pretty similar to that picture. I looked around some more and some of the pages of the websites had some really similar images. Check out the toppings and shaved ice pages on both sites if you're interested, and Yogiberry starts looking pretty shameless.

And of course, aside from the design similarities, the whole concept of the type of products being offered seems to be a total rip-off of Pinkberry. Pinkberry actually has a franchise program, so now I'm wondering did Yogiberry just not feel like paying licensing fees, did they apply for a franchise and get rejected, or did they just like the concept and think that no one would notice if they opened a similar business on the other side of the country?

KosherCook has a different take on this, however. He pointed out while we were in Yogiberry - before I found out about this lawsuit - that most clubs these days have decor very much like they do. So using that as a jumping off point, I suppose this can all be explained by recent trends in pop-culture. But, come on, those images on the site are REALLY similar.

So guess whose image I'm using for this post? That's right, I linked to one on Yogiberry. They seem like they have their hands too full right now to sue me for wrongful use of their image.

And why am I writing about frozen yogurt on the eve of the most historically important election in many of our lifetimes? To take my mind off it. Because I can't take the suspense. I just want to vote already. Only 6.25 hours until the polls open and we can vote!

And after the election, if the results are favorable and a celebration is in order, perhaps we will go out for a delicious frozen treat...ice cream - because frankly, it's a lot better than frozen yogurt.

Adventures and Mysteries

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 04:12:00 +0000

Every day I find myself looking at KosherCop and wondering where my scrunchy-faced little baby went. But as much as it scares me to see him growing up so fast, my brother was right. Kids just get more and more fun as they get older.

Our new fun is reading mystery/adventure stories. We had gotten him the first story in the Magic Tree House series for his birthday and it seemed to really capture his imagination. So when his aunt sent him a gift card to a bookstore, we went back for more.

This series is great - a brother and sister find a magic tree house that allows them to travel through time. There is mystery, adventure, clues, danger, and plenty of jumping off points for imaginative play. KosherCop's new favorite game is to round up his friends after services to "spy and look for clues".

What's nice is each story is self-contained, but is part of a larger mystery that (at least for the first 4 or 5) builds over several books. KosherCop just gobbles them up and then talks and wonders about the clues. It's really exciting to see this new phase.

The other series I tried to get him interested in was the Boxcar Children. He was enjoying the first one pretty well while we were reading it, but after putting it down he has been too excited about the Magic Tree House books to pick it up again. I guess even though the kids in the story live in a train car, the fact that it's not moving loses something for him. It's very much the kind of story I would have liked as a kid, though - heck, I like it now! Four kids live rent-free and they decorate their home with stuff they find in a junkyard?

Why it's a vintage girl's dream come true!

Happy Anniversary Kosher Whine!

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 04:44:00 +0000

Kosher Whine is 1 year old today! I wrote my first blog post a year ago on October 24, 2007.

Thanks to everyone who stops by to read about the antics of KosherCook, KosherCop, and me!

Here's to another great year of mishaps, missteps, and general silliness that might provide content for this site.

Thanks for a great first year!

Jewish Living Magazine: The Final Update

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 02:57:00 +0000

So in the end it really didn't matter whether I subscribed to Jewish Living Magazine or not.

Blame it on the financial crisis - apparently they shut their doors at the end of September due to their investors stopping their funding.

Here is the email I received a couple of days after they shut down:

Dear Jewish Living Subscribers -

Over the last few days we have been overwhelmed and gratified by the thousands of emails we've received from you expressing your deep disappointment at the suspension of publication. We share your disappointment and want to let you know that we did everything in our power to continue publication.

As of this past Sunday night there was no reason to think we were going to suspend publication. We had been operating in good faith and were about to go to press with our Nov/Dec issue.

Given recent market freefall combined with current economic conditions, our investors informed us on Monday morning (Sept 27th) that they would no longer continue funding the magazine. We immediately informed our staff, our subscribers and our suppliers.

That said, we deeply regret the situation we all find ourselves in. As we were a stand alone publication, the staff and principals of Jewish Living will now be starting the new year looking for other employment. We are also aware and very sympathetic to the fact that many loyal subscribers had recently
renewed their subscriptions and new subscribers have come on board. Recently received credit card + check payment orders have not been processed.

We are making every effort - as is customary when magazines fail - to ensure that subscribers will receive a replacement magazine subscription to a comparable publication.

Thank you again for subscribing, for sharing the vision with us and - for a short time - for celebrating under the big tent of Jewish Living.

Sincerely,
Dan

--
Dan Zimerman
Jewish Living magazine

Well at least we know no one was exaggerating about how businesses would start to fail.

Chag Sameach and L'Shana Tovah!

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 04:44:00 +0000

It's October. How did this happen? Wasn't it just August?

So much has happened. I started a new job at my company. Am I enjoying it? Well, I don't come home and tell KosherCook that my day was "mind-numbing", so I guess it is better.

KosherCop turned 5 at the world's worst children's birthday party a mother could ever hope to throw. KosherCop had a great a time - he's a big fan of mayhem.

KosherCook had to go to a funeral when the party was supposed to happen so I was on my own. Thank goodness my friend LN was there to help me, or those kids would've brought me to tears. Also, KosherCop was quite the ringleader. He greeted every kid at the door with "Free candy! Come and get your free candy!" (Like a moron I had put out candy for the adults figuring they would monitor their kids chocolate intake. Wrong.) So the party started with 8 kids spilling a thousand mini M&Ms all over the living room. I also realized as this was happening that the beads for the beading project I had planned (not my idea - my son loves stringing beads) bore a striking resemblance to the mini m&ms. Luckily no one mixed them up - that I know of.

Then KosherCop decided that all the kids should come into his bedroom and shut the door. I followed them in to tell them the door needed to stay open and 6 little munchkins were jumping on the bed. KosherCop's idea. So I sent them out with some toys and closed the door. I tried to play a game with them, but our house is really tiny and all the parents were talking so the kids couldn't really hear me and just looked at me like I was crazy.

Somehow I got them to the table for lunch (which they hardly ate even though I had made very delicious tuna and PBJ sandwiches shaped like hearts and dinosaurs. The parents at least seemed to like the tuna dinosaurs) and birthday cake (which they all took 2 bites out of and left over - too many m&ms I guess).

Then, covered in tuna and cake they all went back to playing. While I tried to keep one little boy from repeatedly ramming KosherCop's bedroom door with a dump truck full of blocks, KosherCop opened the piano so all his friends could bang on it with tunafish-fingers (the piano had to be cleaned and tuned anyway - now it needs to be cleaned and de-tuna'd).

At this point I pretty much gave up and told KosherCop to give out the goody bags. It ended up being only about 15 minutes before the party was scheduled to end so it worked out okay. Then KosherCook came home and started cleaning up and all was right with the world again.

The very next day was Erev Rosh Hashanah and I somehow worked and still managed to cook chicken soup and bake a honey cake before our families gave up and went home hungry. Honestly, I don't know why they continue to show up at the time we tell them. I guess they just like us and know they won't be eating until 2 hours after they arrive. We love you too, guys!

Let's see - Rosh Hashanah - that brings us to Yom Kippur, bronchitis, lots of drugs that keep me awake but finally stopped me coughing, and then to today. KosherCook's amazing - he got up an hour before I did, fed KosherCop, and started cooking stuffed cabbage. Then he went to shul with KosherCop and I finished up the cabbage. Unfortunately that was for dinner, not lunch, which we had guests coming for. Honestly, I don't know why our friends continue to show up at the time we tell them. I guess they also like us and know they won't be eating until 2 hours after they arrive. Do you see a theme here?

The cabbage proved further to be an unfortunate choice. It was slow-cooking in our crockpot and when we came in from the Sukkah, the cabbage had released its full force of odoriferousness. The kids all pronounced the house super-stinky and I had to agree. But our friends seemed to forgive us that too. And it tasted good, despite the smell.

So that brings you up-to-date. It leaves just one thing. The election. We are reading and watching everything said about it. I can't speak for KosherCook, but I guess I think as long as I keep watching, Obama's poll numbers will stay up. Kind of like when we are driving and I don't let myself nod off because I'm afraid KosherCook will fall asleep too (when he's driving - when I'm driving I just go ahead and nap).

I have to say I enjoy the humor that comes from Sarah Palin being on the McCain ticket, though. Not just Tina Fey as Palin - which I love. I started thinking about her foreign policy expertise - being able to see Russia from her window. So I started to look at all the things I could see from my window. I can see the people coming and going from the halfway house across the street, so I will be adding drug treatment counselor to my resume. I can also see birds so I must be an ornithologist... or perhaps a cat.

I can't wait for November 4th.

Quick Updates

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 03:21:00 +0000

Things are quite hectic and stressful right now, so just a few quick updates:

Cellphones:
We finally chose cellphones and they arrived last week. It turned out after all the times Verizon lied to us and said we HAD to change our plan if we got new phones, that just wasn't true. Although, in a surprise head-exploding twist, during the TWO HOURS I spent on the phone with them trying to get the phones activated they tried one more time to tell me I had to upgrade the plan in order to use them. Luckily KosherCook was standing by and blew his stack, demanding to yell at someone. I very sweetly asked the very nice customer service kid I'd been speaking to if there was someone there my husband could yell at. Magically, after another half hour on hold he got back on and said his supervisor had been able to activate the phone.

Agenda:
After the long drawn out production of choosing cellphones, I decided to stick with what I have agenda-wise. So I purchased the 2009 Junior Levenger Agenda and Monthly Tabs. I tried to oogle the espresso Circa Jacket, but they didn't have it in yet. (Did I mention I work 3 minutes from one of the few Levenger stores on the East Coast? For Levenger fanatics this will inspire deep shades of green envy. For the longest time every time I went in there they gave me free stuff too.)

KosherCop:
Last week we celebrated "Happy Dry Underpants Day!" in honor of KosherCop sleeping through the night in underpants - that stayed dry. Yes, he's kind of old for such a milestone, but I hear it is not uncommon. We had a special evening out for him - pizza and ice cream at Rockville Town Center. He really enjoyed it and was completely entranced by a street musician playing the "fiddle." He kept wanting to throw more money in his violin case and performed a delightful "Statue of Liberty" dance to the music.

Unfortunately, the celebration was somewhat premature, as I had to get up at least once, sometimes twice every night the rest of the week to change pajamas and sheets. It was very cute however - over the weekend we had a guest over who mentioned he needed to get going to deal with a flood in his house. KosherCop very earnestly sympathized and said, "I sometimes have leaks too - in my bed at night."

Well, that's it for now. Back to my midnight attempt to take care of the 20 things I left undone the past 3 weeks, so I can freely go back to worrying about the things I need to do in the next 3 weeks.

Happy Labor Day Weekend!

Agenda Obsession

kosherwhine@yahoo.com (Chaya Bluma) — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 04:19:00 +0000

It's that time of year again.

Back to school. Up until my mid-thirties I still got pretty excited about back to school season. Even though it had been many years since I had actually gone to school myself, I still had that urge to buy new clothes and notebooks for a long time. Strangely, for the longest time the clothes I wanted were all tartan plaid. I blame this on a certain spread in Seventeen magazine that I saw as a teenager, where gazelle-like coeds lounged around some New England college campus clad in plaid.

But, now my excitement for fall and office supplies has been channeled into a minor obsession with finding the perfect agenda. I thought I was alone in this pursuit until one day last year I accidentally obliterated my planner by spilling coffee all over it - in mid-February. Frustrated by the prospect of buying a whole new organizer - again - so early in the year, I started looking online for templates to create my own. This search led me to DIYPlanner.com, where legions of like-minded productivity enthusiasts congregate to debate the merits of paper vs. electronic, gush about their favorite journal, share planner templates, and worship at the altar of Levenger.

If you are not familiar with Levenger they are an extremely upscale stationery store. Their products are very expensive, but beautifully and thoughtfully designed. They have a notebook system called Circa that is based on a series of discs that fit into paper with punched holes that are slit to the edge of the paper. So unlike looseleaf and spiral-bound notebooks, you can add and remove paper without opening rings, moving pages around, or tearing anything.

Their Circa agenda system is the one I have been using for the past year and I've been pretty happy with it. I've been able to set it up so my monthly calendar spread is on the tabs that separate the weekly pages for each month. That way I'm forced to look at the whole month when it starts. Also, I'm able to take a piece of paper that's smaller than the planner pages, write my weekly To Do list on it, and attach it so it sticks up out of the top of the agenda, and use it as a bookmark.

So what's the problem? The size. When I spilled the coffee that day it also destroyed a number of papers I had tucked into the organizer to deal with while I was at work. My planner at the time was a nice compact one that seemed like the perfect size. However after the "incident" I vowed never to have unprotected documents again, so I moved up to the next size - 5 x 8.5. This has been great for having everything organized in a way that makes sense to me, and a monthly calendar that is big enough to actually see and use. What has not been great is the way my purse has expanded to fit this thing (which I first whined about here).

The other problem has always been that Levenger is the only place that sells a nice cover or folio that fits a Circa agenda comfortably. They are very beautiful rich leather notebook covers, but they are astronomical and almost too roomy - adding about a half inch on all sides to an already (in my opinion) oversized tome. I managed to find a cover that worked for a fraction of the price, but it is sticky plastic and a little small to fit everything I need - it just barely covers the edges of the pages.

So now the prospect of fall and school has me debating whether to keep this system or move back to a smaller size. And just to cloud my already overtaxed obsessed mind, I discovered that Levenger has a Circa jacket in an absolutely scrumptious-looking chocolate brown. I believe they call it "espresso" and it is what you see in the picture at the beginning of this post. And they don't seem to make it in the ~~cheaper~~ smaller size. I'm tempted to treat myself, but if I did I'd be committing to this size planner for pretty much the next decade to be able to justify the price. (And I am nothing if not a commitment-phobe. KosherCook can't believe that not only did I agree to marry him so quickly and easily, but also that I haven't returned him yet.)

And so dear friends, as you sit on the edges of your seats and wait with bated breath to see what momentous decision I make regarding my planner, rest easy in the knowledge that after only a month and a half of agonizing research, I at least - finally - ordered new cell phones for KosherCook and myself!

Will wonders never cease?