KpQuePasa.com

Just Enough Time.

2017-09-13T23:37:00.002-04:00

When we first moved to Nagoya, and I had dreamy ideas about all the excitement in store, I was invited to a luncheon with a fellow who runs an expat group here. I had eyes like an anime character seeing something totally kawaii for the first time, all glittery stars and hearts. “I love it so much here!” I exclaimed. He asked how long I would be staying in Japan, and I responded "3 years!" with a smile. His response?

“That’s just enough time to learn to hate it.”

Oh no, it's not packing, it's building a new cat-tree.

Fast forward 2 years and 8 months: Today a moving crew is coming to take a bunch of stuff off to start the customs and shipment process. In 9 days, Mac Bubba and I will be on flights back to the states. Permanently.

I feel the need to share this very important box from my time packing, featuring my face wash. Before we moved out here, I bought what I estimated to be a 3 year supply of my favorite face wash. I may have overestimated by, say, 20ish tubes of the stuff. My face will be clean FOREVER.

But the point here is that fellow was wrong: I DON’T hate Japan. It is beautiful, it is steeped in centuries of culture while still embracing technology. The people have a love and respect of their environment that is evident in how well they manage their trash and how organized they have made their mass transit. The food is simple but made with such reverence it never ceases to amaze me. And, of course, there is the wonder that is the 100 yen shop. I will miss those.

I don’t particularly like living here, but I know I will come back to visit. I am grateful to have been afforded such an exciting opportunity to come to, live in, explore, and become part of Nagoya's community through The Mister’s company, and I am glad that I came along with him on this second international adventure. But, it would be a waste of the last three years to let little things continue to chip at me long enough to make me regret having had the experience at all.

As you may have noted from the year-long sabbatical, I burnt out pretty hard here, and I need to be back in a place I am comfortable and confident.

For the first few months back in the states will be without The Mister, since he must finish out his assignment and that keeps him in Japan until December. But I couldn’t wait any longer; and I’m realizing from how quickly and without question, The Mister’s company just approved this whole process, I am not the first spouse to have had this same realization.

It is a bummer to be apart like that, of course. But that doesn’t mean I’m not excited about the part where I get to go home. So I’m trying real hard to just focus on that.

And so, start the countdown. In 10 days, Mac, Bubs and I will be home. (and like, jet lagged out of our minds, so give us a couple days to check back in, right?)

SPECIAL NOTE: In keeping with tradition, when I fly with Bubba, I live-tweet the experience. If you’d like to follow along on twitter (@KpQuePasa), we will start the fun up on the 21st of September (if you’re in the States) or the 22nd of September (if you’re in Japan) and will be tweeting from Us leaving the apartment for the airport and continue until Mac is delivered to us at our new home on the 23rd or 24th (depending on your timezone as you follow). I previously used #AirBub11 and #AirBub15. This time it is… you guessed it: #AirBub17

In the meantime, check out Bubba’s existential crisis over cardboard boxes all captures on my instagram: www.instagram.com/kpquepasa

today's little language lesson:

さようなら！

Sayonara！

Good-bye!

Getting 'Tooned Back In.

2017-06-08T23:38:00.000-04:00

Been a bit of a CRAZY whirlwind here lately. And it’s also been extremely run of the mill. A little of column A, little of column B. But that’s life anywhere, I suppose. You get it.

With the knowledge that I no longer have a steady readership, but that my family and friends do still use this space to keep up with my life, I wanted to make sure y’all knew I am not neglecting you — simply trying to keep my feet under me and on the ground as we run this last leg of our time in Japan. So let me vomit out some quick updates for y’all.

The Mister and I had a friend of his visit from the states this past week. And in a monumental surprise, The Mister coordinated with BFFJ to have her join us for that visit as well! Somewhere on The Mister’s phone is a video of me at the airport grumpily asking him why on earth he would be video recording me when we were waiting on his friend and then I saw BFFJ and got all blubbery so I won’t be sharing that snotty, joyful mess on the internet, but I will share a photo to prove that BFFJ was here and that she was so kind as to take while we trekked ALL OVER Japan.

Literally, all over Japan. I’m exhausted. How The Mister went back to work again this morning is beyond me.

We’ve finally begun to firm up some details about when The Mister’s company will send us home stateside. We’ve still got a few things to work out on the homestead front before I can give out real dates, but it’s getting closer and closer and I’m getting excited about home.

don't worry big guy, you're still the most handsome.

Mac has had a few sincere lumps that have made him start to look a bit like Igor. To be clear, they’re not bothering him, they just look unsightly. Lumps are a common thing in dober-breeds, and Mac has had a few removed in the past, but that never makes the discovery of new lumps any less concerning. Particularly when the vet here so kindly explained that they could test the growths (he has 4), but if the results are not good, he’s simply too big for their facilities to offer any treatment options.

Thankfully for us then, they’re all currently benign. (There’s one on his tummy that they couldn’t get 100% confident results on, but it’s not growing quickly, so it should be okay until we get him home to big-dog vets). Whew.

Bubs is good, though with the last few vacations he has hit his limit for wanting to spend time at the pet hotel. Last time I went in to pick him up, the lady who runs the hotel drew a little kitty face on a dry erase board and then added angry eyebrows and teeth to indicate that Bubs had been a less than kindly guest. But he forgave me my sins by the time we got home and I gave him some sushi-seaweed and let him bask in some porch sunlight. Hopefully he chills out a bit before our next planned trip in August.

I’ve continued, in between all these things, to plunk away at learning animation. Friends and family, I’ma share this here so you know that I’m still working at my animation aspirations, but I want to be straight forward that I have gotten into a REAL NICHE of animation on the you tubes, and it might not be your jam, and that’s a-okay, but I’d appreciate if you don’t just maybe keep that to yourself at the moment.

If you don’t like the content, just appreciate the fact that I drew every one of those frames by hand from scratch. And then I went back through each frame and cleaned up the outlines. And then I went through each of those frames again to color them.

You see, on the you tubes (yes I know that’s a stupid name for YouTube, I’m pretending to be old and out of touch for comedic effect), there is a genre of videos called “let’s plays.” For the un-indoctrinated, these are videos of people playing video games and commenting over the top of them. They remind me a lot of when I was a kid and you’d go to your friends house to play Mario but they only had one controller so you just chatted and because of that I sincerely love them. The Mister does not share this love, and I get that. But for the past few months, I’ve spent a lot of time letting playlists from a group called the Game Grumps chatter away in the background of my life while I go about life at home. And the Grumps have started a whole new genre of videos where animators take the audio from their videos and make little cartoons out of the jokes they tell. Turns out that’s a lot more fun to me than the little exercises I was using to learn. SO.

I originally started posting little blips of animation exercises which you can watch on this playlist:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLvV_6QqHnISiRYmAA1p3_7T8mVTAqiQlg

And now I’ve got a few videos of animated Let’s Plays that you can check out at the links below (fyi there are like 1 or 2 swears in each of these if you have to protect your ears from such things):

https://youtu.be/nWe0JkHXrng

https://youtu.be/_dxK8V0UXfI

https://youtu.be/oki-Sa88dyI

Aaaaand I’m working on more because I find it way fun to listen to a dialogue in one context and sort of twist it to make it a funny toon.

On that note, I’ve got some background panels to work out. So I’m off!

What have you been up to?

How are your babies?

Your teams?

Your jobs?

Your weather?

(ours is getting back to armpit humidity level… yay?)

Tell me in the comments!

Oki-wow-wa

2017-05-09T08:14:00.000-04:00

We took a real-live vacation y'all!

And I took little snippets of video throughout our whole week to make a "quick and easy" blog post.

And then I got home and realized I'd recorded 3+ hours of video on my phone.

So quick and easy it was not. But I did finish the video and posted it below - click to watch!

or click HERE to open in a new window in youtube for full-screen viewing!

Hana[meat] 2017

2017-04-13T23:01:00.002-04:00

Today is Mac's Gotcha Day!

8 YEARS ago I went to a SPCA event and fell in love with those -once orange, now white- eyebrows. I've had this pup by my side for some of the craziest, most life-changing things I've lived through. Lots of celebratory snuggles and treats and running around the little neighboring park shall be taking place today.

night one. he was the same size as Bubba. so smol.

Instead of a blog post today, last week we finally got a chance to check out Hanami. If you're unfamiliar, this is the annual celebration in honor of the cherry blossoms blooming throughout the country. It happened to coincide with a lot of rain this year, so we were lucky for one good day to jaunt over to Tsurumai park for the have one last sakura flower hurrah. Mac was also pretty pumped*.

Check out the vid below, and have a great day!

(click to play or click here to open in a new window)

*You may remember from previous years when I mentioned the awesome food truck guy who sells kebabs and happens to be in the same place in the park each year for hanami. He always remembers Mac, and Mac DEFINITELY remembers him. I obviously played around with learning editing software on this little video, but I have to add that what you don't see here is the moment when Mac actually realizes there are food trucks in the park, and he immediately beelines to the spot where this particular food truck always is. Mac and Meat Friend are for sure biffles.

Do You Remember The Time When I Was Electrocuted?

2017-04-05T07:53:00.000-04:00

This morning, The Mister texted asking for a video of Mac doing his trademark “Moon Walk” trick. It triggered a soundtrack for today consisting entirely of Michael Jackson. I’m a “Dangerous” (on cassette tape, no less!) era kid -

What was your MJ album of choice?

Tell me in the comments!

*also if you want a giggle, here’s said Moonwalk video, which you should watch before lawyers swoop in and are all “you used less than 30 seconds of his songs and are gaining nothing monetarily from their use! Cease and Desist because fun is illegal!”*

So. Hi. It’s been a hot minute. Let me catch up quickly on life here since… well, November:

Kp2 and her SO moved back to Australia. I am so happy for her to be reunited with her sassy little puggle dog… but I miss her bunches.
I have done approximately 0 things of notable interest outside of the daily “wake up, clean house, grocery shop, lather, rinse, repeat” mantra, and I’m struggling to find motivation to expand past that.
I failed the JLPT again. For the third consecutive time, I passed every section of the test individually but missed the cumulative number of points needed for a pass by an infuriatingly small number.
We have officially entered our last year here in Nagoya. Which means we’ve also entered into that lovely feeling of being constantly in limbo with regard to having any idea what the company really intends to do with us and on what timeline. Note the sarcastic use of the word 'lovely.’

And so… the blog has suffered. Like any other person with a presence on the internet, I prefer to share the things that make me happy, because spending time putting together verbal vomit on things that have made me sad or upset doesn’t do too much for me beyond making me more upset while also worrying my friends and family.

That said I’m about to spend a little time putting together some verbal vomit regarding the lights in this apartment because today we had ANOTHER LIGHT GO OUT.

But stick with me, maybe I can make it funny.

Lightbulbs are one of those things which have made me very aware of my inability to work outside my cultural comfort zone. Because it should be. SO. EASY. to replace a light bulb. I should be able to take the burnt out bulb from the socket, buy a new one at the store, and then come back plug it into the socket and rejoice in the light of the lord.

We’ve had a few lights burn out in our time here… our first one took me three trips to the store and then one very flustered call to an unhelpful “relocation expert” to finally successfully change. Other bulbs… have just remained burnt out because we didn’t have a ladder and I was not keen to have to relive the feeling of a grown ass adult woman being the origin of every “how many [insert disparaged ethnicity/ gender/ occupation/ generation here] does it take to change a lightbulb?” joke. I can change a lightbulb in the states, no problem. Just so we’re clear.

Our shower room light died last year because that room is used for showers and as such the connections rusted and corroded. Who’s surprised? We weren’t. The “relocation expert” took days to bother getting someone lined up to come and fix it, so there was a week or so where the poor lighting lead to some “creative” leg shaving styles.

not my comic, but it was close enough to events that me

making my own would have been plagiarizing.

A month ago the main light in our living room went out while The Mister was away with a navy commitment. Determined to fix it myself, I push our arm chair underneath it so I can get a better look at the tiny kanji on the light shade instructing me to simply turn the shade clockwise to open it and access the bulbs. I did this, but my gut told me it didn’t feel like it was turning “correctly” and so I let it go, admitted defeat, and contacted our “relocation expert.” It took three days for any solution to get back to me; a duration of time that included me going to the Daiso to buy a stretchy headband and two little clip flashlights to make myself a headlamp by which to read.

is it funnier if I keep pretending that's just a joke or
if I fess up and show you photographic evidence that I really did that?

The solution I eventually received was to simply keep turning, get the bulbs out and replace them, then twist the shade back on. So.

*somewhere around here you may be noticing an outside force which seems to make every frustrating encounter I’ve had with our lighting a tad MORE frustrating. I would touch on this further except I have actually tried to on 5 (FIVE!) different occasions to expand my thoughts on the subject and those writings are… well on every occasion that tangent has turned into a very ugly tirade. To be clear, they make me laugh really hard and it helps me get the ick out of my system, but if I’m going to hell I don’t need to be dragging anyone with me.*

So. I’m back up on that arm chair and I did manage to get the shade off and the old bulbs out. With NO ONE’S HELP I MANAGED TO FIND THE RIGHT BULBS FOR THE FIXTURE. (This is a personal win that I might have celebrated as if I had just received my first Oscar.)

And then I went to put the shade back on while standing on an armchair, while on my tippy toes… and the entire fixture just unplugged from the ceiling and rested itself in my hands.

To reiterate, I am standing on my tippy-toes on an arm chair for all of this. I can’t see to be able to line this stupid thing back up to plug it back into the ceiling. We don’t have a ladder. So I take a deep breath and do what I had tried so hard to avoid: I call the “relocation expert.” I explained I do not have a ladder or similarly sturdy structure in the house upon which I could stand to put the light back up. That they need to get me help.

Let’s long story short the ending - the response was “looks like you just need to plug it back in, good luck!” And so I waited another night or two until The Mister came back home from the navy, we went and bought a ladder, smashed into our little car, lugged it up to our little apartment, and we fixed the damn ceiling light ourselves. Then, after joyously dancing around and double-fist-flipping-the-bird at the ceiling light, I proclaimed that I would NOT be dealing with another light bulb situation in this apartment; if something burned out we would just consider it mood lighting. The Mister agreed, and we went out for Thai food. It was good. mmm, Pad Thai.

given the opportunity, I would gleefully

become an endless looping gif of pad thai noodle consumption.

Yeah okay so then this morning the light in our entryway burnt out and there are zero windows there but also it is where the only full-length mirror is in the house and ugh it’s just one little lightbulb and we OWN a ladder now so I might as well.

This had every opportunity to go smoothly. Old lightbulb out. New lightbulb acquired. New lightbulb in. Switch on... and feel like I’ve leaped out of my skin because even though I did my part right the electricity is not going to the bulb but is instead zipping right into my finger through the light switch. I shrieked. I fell down. I peed my pants a little. It was a proud moment.

…I took a moment to get the rainbow of colorful language out of my system, and I have emailed the "relocation expert." So let’s see where this goes. Or not. I mean, it’s a little hard to see in the dark.

We’ll have to train Bubba to be a seeing-eye cat in that section of the apartment.

Random tangent I just have to share: Today is Bubba’s 11th Birthday. He’s been along with me for over a decade and he’s still the most handsome little tabby cat who croaks instead of meows and holy gosh all the snuggles today to celebrate. Sorry that we had to put you on a diet recently dude, but we gotta keep you in spec to weigh in as “carry on size” when we are all ready to leave Japan and come home.

*wait wait! where do we go from here? I can promise that... I will try. It will not be once a week, but I will try to be more frequent on this blog, and I suspect there will be more things to talk about as we prepare to go HOME, so stay tuned. Meanwhile, I would remind you I am much more active on Instagram because it is very quick to update. So. You know, there's that.

Year in Review 2016

2017-01-05T00:59:00.001-05:00

Wah!*

Well goodness, hello.

If you’re reading this, we’ve BOTH made it to 2017. Let’s make ourselves at home. I hear they have bananas. (you know, for now.)

If you’re unfamiliar, each year in January I take a second to recap my previous year’s hopes and aspirations, and make a plan for the coming year. It’s been nice to look back at these, so that’s what’s about to happen here. You ready? Let’s go.

2016’s goals:

1. Pass the JLPT 4 (Japanese Language Proficiency Test, level 4).

Did I do this? Maybe? Very possibly not. There are only two testing dates a year for this exam. In July I sat the exam and passed each section individually… but I did not get enough cumulative points to score a pass for the whole shebang.

I sat for it again in the beginning of December. I felt confident going in, I felt WAY less confident coming out. Results post in February, so… this one remains to be seen. If I failed again, I will sit the exam *again* in July. Third time’s the charm? I take some small solace in the fact that at least if I failed, then the guy who unabashedly cheated off of me (SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL?!**) also failed.

and I'm particulately proud of the suite
I put together that not only
celebrates a marriage of two people,
but a marriage of two cultures.

2. Do something I'm proud of with FINvites.

I put together 2 large wedding packages during the past year, and had a slew of smaller pieces I created for clients throughout the year. I am pleasantly surprised at how I managed to keep a queue of work going for this little business even though I’m so far away from it’s home-base physically… So I’m proud of that. We’ll mark this in the win column.

speaking of... nudge nudge wink wink, instant download valentines are up in the Etsy!

3. Another 4 Fabu Arts.

4 Fabu Arts has been a goal of mine each of the past few years, and it’s always my favorite goal to look back on. It’s another check in the win column.

My baking game leveled up impressively, if I do say so myself.

Spice cake with gingerbread cookie villiage.

With the PokémonGo craze rolling in, I made an adorable Bulbasaur costume for Mac, and an equally adorable Charmander stuffie that’ll rest on your shoulders.

I made not one, but two(2!) piñatas for birthday celebrations.

And I began the journey of teaching myself flash animation. The Mister got me a Wacom Cintiq Tablet for Christmas, so this learning will certainly continue.

4. Maintain the pant size, and loose 10 lbs.

Welp. That’s a half-nope. I maintained the pants size, I did NOT lose any weight. Any. I’m actually up a few lbs at the moment, because Christmas happened and the cakes I made were not just pretty, but also delicious. But I mean, I can still get into my pants without having to do that thing where I lay down on the bed and wiggle the zipper while sucking in with all my might, so I’m okay with it.

mmm... kinda.

So that’s 2.5-3.5 out of 4 goals marked *win* I’ll take it!

Now let’s take 2017. There’s a lot that’s on the docket to happen, and I’m going to take a slightly different direction with goal setting this year. For one, I’m done setting public weight-loss goals for myself. Instead of constantly reminding myself and others that I’m not where I want to be, maybe I can start to get comfortable and happy with myself as I am. So what goals will I set?

Take an actual. Vacation-only trip. With just my husband. That’s planned ahead of time. Specifically, a trip To Disney Land Japan.

There are a lot of reasons this has not yet happened, and all of them make me mad at us as a couple. We have to plan ahead, set aside money, make reservations, and then punch the people who want to steal our time in the face. This can’t be spontaneous in any way, which is still something our American-ness mucks up CONSTANTLY. We sit on planning crap until it’s too late, and rather than stressing out, spending a ton of extra money, and trying to mash a square peg into a round hole to make things work, my immediate reaction is always “eff it, no, I’m staying home.”

So I’m putting it out into the ether. I’m “secreting” this. I have never been to a Disney park. I want to go to a Disney park. It’s not a temple, which is great because I love the many temples of Japan, and they are beautiful, but I’ve seen so many that they’re losing their wonder and that’s unacceptable. I need a different thing to visit and enjoy. And I want to go with just my husband, because there’s already going to be a million people there, I don’t want to have to keep track of more than one person. Disney 2017. This is the year, dammit.

2. Continue to learn Flash animation as a guilty pleasure which I feel zero guilt about.

I love making art for people. LOVE. But I realized somewhere around October that this past year I didn’t make a single piece of art which wasn’t intended for someone else. I put my drawings up on Redbubble and Etsy for sale. I made a bunch of trinkets for craft fairs. I created designs for FINvites. I painted and baked for friends and family. I even started cross-blogging for a Japanese ex-pat site. I love that I made all of the things I made, but it also affected my creative flow because I’m too concerned about what others will think about that art instead of just making what I want to make. As such I’ve decided animation must be JUST for me. I will likely share what I make. But I’m not making a single animated thing for anyone else. In just the little time that I’ve had to play with the tools The Mister gave me for Christmas, these little blips of animation have made the wheels of creativity turn at a speed I haven’t felt in a while. And I’ve felt motivated to actually make the ideas I’m thinking of, which is perfect. To keep me growing in this skill, I’d like to have at least 15 seconds of animation created for each month of the year. (that sounds like not a lot, but I promise at 24 frames a second it is.)

3. 4 Fabu Arts.

As with previous years, this can be any 4 things that I create. This can include animation, but I have a feeling the animation will serve to pave the way for lots of things.

4. Get settled in a home that is conducive to a PUPPY.

I’ve long had a life plan which stated when a critter in my family turned 6, another critter would be added, because I know in my heart of hearts that on the unfortunate day that I will have to come home without a Mac-dog, if I have to see dog-things that do not have another dog to claim them, I will be irreparably broken. I gambled on this when I agreed to come to Japan with The Mister, knowing Mac would be 9, and as a big dog, well into “senior” category, when we returned, but it will wait no longer.

We’re officially on the last stretch of The Mister’s 3 year contract. We’re hoping that it wraps up a little shy of the actual 3 years and we repatriate in the fall. There’s a lot of work involved in this - figuring out where exactly we’ll be calling “home,” getting Mac and Bubs on planes, me trying to find a job which I can be happy in that will also work with whatever plan we settle on when we come back to the US, and I’m sure, a number of arguments with the people who handle our relocation. We have an actual team of people who will help us accomplish this goal, but sadly that doesn’t make it an easy process. So wish me luck.

Either a puppy will be adopted and added to the McD family before the end of 2017, or we will be ready for a puppy and waiting for the right one to become available for adoption. Ideally, we’ll even be fostering a senior pup, because I’m still riding high from the feel-good that Little Miss Addie Pants gave us back in 2014.

In short, I’m setting 2017 up to be a year that I take care of things that I need to be a happy person. Because I would like to feel good enough about my life to get back to sharing it on this blog in a consistently fun and amusing way.

What are your goals for 2017?

Tell me in the comments!

*Full disclaimer: I don’t know that this is a return to regular blogging. Part of me wants to, and another part of me needs to be real honest that I don’t want to come back to this regularly until I know I can regularly write fun accounts of life in a positive voice. I’m working to stop stalling out in grumble-cakes town, but that’s not something I’m going to do online. That’s Ms. Lippy time.

**I just need a minute on this because I likely won’t be going back to write about this test on it’s own. There is a set of rules that comes with your ticket to sit this test, and one of them outlines that cheating is strictly forbidden and results in immediate failure of the test if you’re caught cheating. But if you’re caught cheating, the person you’re cheating OFF of is seen as an accomplice, and ALSO fails. So even though I watched this guy LEAN OVER in his chair to look at my answer sheets, if I would have called him out I would have for sure failed that stupid test. Lame to the lamest.

Give me a Break

2016-11-02T23:43:00.002-04:00

Hi all.

I’ve been blogging at KpQuePasa since early 2011. And every once in a while, I need a break.

This blog is best when I’m excited to write in it and share. It suffers when I feel required or stressed over making sure I put something up. And I’ve been feeling that obligation yuck lately.

So I’m gonna take another hiatus. It’s happened before and it’ll happen again but it is not permanent. I’ll be back once I’ve had some time to get reenergized and re-excited and compile some great stories to share.

See you soon - I will obviously still post on my instagram, twitter, and tumblr when I have little snippets to share. in the meantime have an adventure yourself so we have something to chat about :)

-KpMcD

I want NOTHING for Christmas.

2016-10-24T00:46:00.003-04:00

tiny disclaimer: this isn’t really a blog post for the world at large, it’s more for my inner circle of people, who I hope do not take this as a personal offense or me lacking gratitude, because by golly that is 100% never my intention. In fact, I think I got into this specifically because I’m too intent on not offending to be able to protect my own interests in not being buried in stuff. So there’s that. Read on!

I finally snapped, and today I spent 7 hours decluttering our tiny apartment.

It’s been a long time coming (like at least 6 months I’ve been telling myself “tomorrow I’ll go through this place and reorganize”). Because Japan is tiny, but we live like big Americans. But also because I am terrified of taking out our trash. So we had a lot of old and used up stuff taking up space in our home.

I’ve talked about trash in Japan before; it’s a well-oiled system that takes a bit [<-understatement] of getting used to. We sort all types of trash, and each kind goes out on a specific day at a specific time. Combustibles, glass, plastic bottles, paper, styrofoam, soda cans, food cans, electronics, spray containers and more all get their own trash bag. Any deviance from this culture-wide plan is irresponsible and will lead to shame, scrutiny, and mumbles of “inconsiderate gaijin* from your community.”

It is admirable how well Japan handles their trash. There are even villages in this country that have a ZERO trash output because of how well they sort and recycle their waste. I truly wish that Americans were brought up with such sensibilities. But I didn’t, and that, combined with a ridiculous level of anxiety stemming from just making sure people don’t hate me here**, means I will do my very best to stall the trash bag being full with a time The Mister is home and in a “I want to do something nice for my wife” mode. He is blessed with an ability to turn off the “give a sh*t what others think about me” section of his mind, and when it comes to trash, he is so kind as to let me capitalize on that while I sheepishly hand him bags of garbage to lug downstairs.

And so back to this declutter project. I got rid of expired condiments in the fridge. I went through my shoes and threw out the ones which had holes walked through the soles (a surprising number, thanks for all the exercise, Japan!). I sorted out the dog toys that Mac’s loved a little too much. I consolidated the three bottles of the same scent lotion I had all at differing levels of full/empty. And I re-organized our cabinets so our dishes all fit inside them.

Then I sat down with the piles of trash that comes from all this organization, and I sorted all of said trash into 13 different 45 gallon trash bags. Which were then relegated to the balcony until they can be taken to the trash collection area outside our apartment at the appropriate times***.

how to sort trash in the city. this is printed poster size on our fridge, and even after a year+,

I still have to double check it once a day.

I… Hate. Hate with a passion. Hate taking out the trash. Hate it hate it hate it. I have reasons even.

The first is my fear of my neighbors seeing me hauling a bag out and reporting to the apartment management that I’ve done it wrong. We’ve even had other expat acquaintances here tell us about neighbors tearing open their trash and interrupting them while entertaining guests to angrily explain how disgusting the expat was for doing it wrong and then handing back the trash that had been improperly sorted.

Second, I hate the smell. I hate having to sit in a tiny elevator for an agonizingly slow 11 floor ride with the smell of my trash. The tiny space traps in that scent which triggers your gag reflex, and really lets it sink into your pores. Plus it certainly doesn’t air out by the time you’ve put your trash at the collection space and re-boarded the elevator to go back up to home. This is especially notable as generally speaking our burnable trash includes… well the sort of trash that Mac makes. By eating and digesting. You see where I’m going with this. Dog poo fumes in my lungsssssss.

And third - all trash bags are clear here. Which I have decided is to strictly enforce proper trash sorting by allowing your neighbors to see your trash and see if you put it in the correctly marked bags. It also means your neighbors can see that you ordered large pizzas. They can see what brand of ginger ale you drink. They can see if you’ve had the sniffles and worked through a box of nyquil. They can see EVERYTHING you throw out, is what i’m saying, and they can learn a lot about your life. Japan’s already enough of a “Big Brother is watching” type of society for me thank you very much.

It occurs to me, with the amount of unneeded junk we accumulate at a fairly steady rate between me, The Mister, Mac and Bubba, that this aversion to taking out the trash will turn me into one of those off-the-deep-end hoarders who shout at kids to stay off their lawn. The kind of person who talks about “going off the grid” with absolute sincerity. The one who insists they can fix anything that breaks with just some duct-tape and string… no need to throw it out. Just put it in the corner with all the other broken things I’ll get to ~~some day~~ never.

why yes, I *did* build Bubba a Kitty Castle out of cardboard specifically so
I wouldn't have to take out a bag of cardboard trash.

It’s a realization which bugs me, because The Mister and I, we have everything we need, and certainly we have plenty that we just wanted. We’re not hurtin’ for stuff. Whenever a friend or family member asks us what we’re missing from home, we can both pretty confidently say “nothing! we’re doing well!” And so I’m just gonna throw this out in the cosmos:

Please don’t send me stuff.

I don’t want stuff. I don’t need stuff. I’m not missing stuff. And I really really don’t want to have to throw other stuff out to make room for the stuff sent to me. I say this because Christmas is just around the corner (yikes.) and though I was straightforward in saying “I don’t want anything for my birthday” back in August, there are still things here that came with “happy birthday” notes attached. Please be clear! Thank you! I’m grateful for the thought and love that went into these gifts. Really, and truly. But. And this is a big but (ha, see what I did there?). I would be most grateful to not have to figure out what to do with more stuff.

If you’re reading this and something in you insists that not giving a gift for Christmas is somehow against the will of Sweet Baby Jesus and will cause him to rain down Fire and Brimstone and maybe even those stink bombs that smell like rotten eggs, here is my suggestion:

I love the Girl Scouts of America.

I love my Alma Matter****

I love LOCAL humane societies, rescue groups, and animal shelters.

Aaaaaand I love public Libraries.

These places and people could use stuff. Green, paper-like stuff.

The could also use your time. Your peanut butter. Old towels. Dog or Cat food. Gently used books. And they would put it all to WAY better use than anything you might have thought about sending to me. So give where it counts, including helping me avoid taking out the trash. :)

Do you live abroad?

How do manage the amount of stuff you accumulate?

What causes do you support? Tell me in the comments!

today's little language lesson

犬のうんちはにおいがとてもわるいです。

inu no unchi wa nioii ga totemo warui desu

dog poo smells very bad.

*gaijin (or 外人): a slightly rude term for a foreigner.

**Our neighbors already hate us. Not ALL our neighbors, just the old couple that live next door. They have a reason, but sadly we didn’t even really earn it (I say that because if someone is gonna go ahead and hate me, it’s a little better for my peace of mind if I know I am responsible for turning the screws of my own volition, you know?). This is a story for another time. The moral of said story is that I don’t need to give anyone in this building more reasons to hate us. Or me, specifically.

***The Mister threw himself on this sword. Amazing isn't a big enough word for this simple act of love.

**** Happy 10 year homecoming to my fellow class of '06 Green Knights. And thank you for video-chatting me while you celebrated so I could pretend I wasn't half a world away from the fun!

Foreigner at a Craft Bazaar - Year 2!

2016-10-11T03:46:00.004-04:00

First and foremost- A big old thank you to everyone who supported and came to visit me last Friday at the Nagoya YWCA Fall Bazaar. I had a great time AND I managed to come through with a decent profit. I hope you enjoyed your cake pops!

After wrapping on the bazaar and lugging my set-up back home, I immediately hopped on a bullet train out to the Navy Base with The Mister to attend a ball celebrating our anniversary (actually the US Navy’s 241st birthday, though we’re good at pretending)... but that might be for next post.

Back to that Bazaar. I had a lovely spot at the back of the main entertainment area, which meant that while peddling my wares I got to watch a few acts. I also got a fantastic vantage point for people watching. So in the spirit of my bazaar reporting from last year, let’s talk about

The People Foreigners See at a Craft Bazaar Part ~~Deaux~~ 二

1. Stamp Collectors

It’s not uncommon in Japan for events to promote the collection of stamps. A person who manages to get all the stamps in any particular collection can be entered to win prizes. At this bazaar, each selling area had a stamp which visitors could collect in order to, I believe, be awarded a free pen. That morning, the very first people I saw enter my area (where I was sitting next to the stamp station), were two nuns in full habits, who came in, excitedly stamped their flyers, giggled, and immediately turned on their heels to find the rest of the stamps throughout the event. Since I never saw them again, I hope they got their pens… and I hope those pens were worth the 500yen entry fee they would have paid to enter the bazaar and presumably buy and participate in nothing else.

2. The Children’s Entertainment

As the stage area was directly in front of my table space, I was elated to watch the children’s entertainment at the bazaar. A fun, colorful duo lead all the little kids at the bazaar in songs about frogs and snakes (with puppets!), the Totoro theme, and my personal fave, a song about a farting cow, which featured a man in a cow costume playing a kazoo and cow bell while pretending to fart real loud. This number was an obvious crowd pleaser. And honestly, I really loved how easy it was to understand what was going on in their show because obviously they were using real simple baby Japanese.

3. The Seller of Questionable Health

The booth right next to mine was a jeweler. Selling not just any jewelry, like, NICE jewelry. Real Minato Pearls, precious gems, gold and silver, you get the point. But maybe once every 15 minutes the jewler (who was super kind, if not a quiet fellow) would duck out of the room, leaving all his wares unattended. Thankfully, because this is Japan, there is no actual concern for his wares being knicked. I was, however, concerned that this man’s frequent potty breaks were signifiers of a real danger in his prostate. I said as much to KP2 (who was so kind as to hang out at my booth and help peddle cupcakes), and we had a brief conversation about how to politely share with someone that they need to see a doctor for a very *ahem* personal exam. Then he mentioned he was going out for a quick smoke and left again. So we switched our concerns from prostate cancer to lung cancer, as clearly this man had packed a carton of cigarettes to bring along to the bazaar, and he intended to go through them all in that 5 hours.

4. The Looky-Lou of Questionable Motivation.

An older man accompanying his wife to the bazaar took a seat in the back row of the stage area to wait while his lady tried on some jewelry. He took this fifteen minute time-frame to twist around in his seat to intently stare at me. The entire 15 minutes. Just staring. I couldn’t tell if he was offended by my foreigner presence, or maybe just confused by it, but his facial expression clearly wasn’t one that gave off positive vibes. It’s not the first time I’ve gotten “gaijin glares,” but I have come to the conclusion that I really need to work on a canned response to being oogled like a zoo animal.

5. The Lady I Looky-Loued.

She caught me staring, so I didn’t take any pictures, because I was already admittedly being a creeper. BUT. There was a seller in my area who had exactly one product and it was brilliant and I watched her demo it at least two dozen times. She had engineered an Obi belt for Kimono that was an already made bow and sash which one could position and tie themselves without any snaps or clips (if you’ve ever tried to tie an Obi yourself, you understand this is a magical invention). I sort of wanted one, but I was too embarrassed to ask if she had one for women with a waist bigger than 15 inches, so I just kept to my cake pops. *le sigh, the joys of being American Sized.*

6. The Adult's Entertainment

This is a misnomer, but the second musical act which came to the stage was a musical story-teller who played the shamisen and recorder as he told stories about historical Okinawa. He was well dressed, well spoken, and had a confident swagger that is not super common in Japanese men. KP2, as she sat next to me, was having a hard time not swooning ad his swept back salt and pepper hair. And judging by the event organizers needing to bring out extra chairs for the gaggle of obaasans that crowded the space, she was not the only one.

7. The Final Act

A troupe of four ladies played us out of the Bazaar. They all had guitars and sang some very pretty traditional Japanese songs. A lovely act, all the more endearing because they’re all women who work with the YWCA, and as such, they had a fan base at the bazaar who brought out decorated fans like one might see at a boy-band concert. They also got a standing ovation and an encore at the end of their set, which they used as an opportunity to play Edelweiss from The Sound of Music. It was precious.

All and all it was a great time, I’m flattered to have been asked back, and I hope I can make it a three-peat next year. And in that vein, someone remind me my big lessons from this year’s table, K?

Japanese people do not want Chocolate Chip Cookies (I sold zero! ha!)
Japanese people TOTALLY do want cake pops. Make more of those, less of everything else.

Have you been to a Craft Fair / Artists Market like this?

What was your favorite find?

Are you a gaijin?

How do you handle the Gaijin Glare?

Tell me in the comments!

today’s little language lesson

白鳥は、私を見て停止します

Hakuchō wa, watashiwomite teishi shimasu

stop looking at me, swan.

The Side Hustle.

2016-09-30T22:22:00.005-04:00

Hey oh gosh hi ho there.

I am alive. I’m struggling a bit for something worth writing a blog post about, (day to day life isn’t all that riveting, you know?) but I’m still kicking. Mostly I’m having a hard time getting over some super funk type blues that were kicked off with a month of everyday rains and a canceled craft fair, but a big whine fest isn’t really good reading material. [unless you’re weird, in which case, it is in fact, at my homepage blog here.]

This week I’m preparing for my NEXT craft fair, which is indoors, so rain or not by God it’s happening. It’s the YWCA’s Fall Bazaar, which KP2 and I did last year as well, so I’m very pumped to have been invited back.

This year will see all the same crafts that I’ve talked about in previous blog posts (since there was no previous craft fair at which to sell them due to rain), plus the famous carrot cupcakes, chocolate chip cookies, and I’m thinking maaaaaaybe some cake pops. Because those are a fun thing that are big in the states but I haven’t really seen them here… even though I have noted the Japanese culture very much enjoys food that is served on a stick.

try to contain your drool over kushiyaki.

Anywhoozle, that’s all on Friday, October 7th, from 10am to 3pm. If’n you’re in Nagoya it’d be cool to see ya at the YWCA in Sakae.

After that, The Mister and I will be celebrating our wedding anniversary by attending a Navy Ball out in Yokosuka. Always nice to have an occasion to sort of gussy-up, but a sad reminder that I need to not “taste test” my goods for the fall bazaar so I can still fit in a pretty dress. Fingers crossed on that.

And last but not least I’m working on embarking on a new avenue for online sales of my designs. It’s called RedBubble, and it works as thus:

I can upload designs, to which I retain my ownership and rights.
Through that site I can select from a myriad of items from clothing to home accessories, which I can then tweak to alter how my design will be printed upon it.
I can select my preferred markup of the item, essentially determining my profit on any sale.
The site from there works to-order creating whatever was purchased. You pick a design and an item, they will print that design on that item, handle the transaction, pay me and ship you your new stuff.

why yes, now YOU can own an artistic representation of the best auto correct of Japanese ever... on a laptop sleeve, a sticker, or a t-shirt. wooooooooo.

I’ve read good reviews from artists on this system, and I’ve decided to have a crack at it. It’ll be nice to have a reason to just make designs however I like and then maybe stand a chance at profiting from them. As it is, I’ve put up some designs on the site already. Maybe you’d like to check it out?

[www.redbubble.com/people/kpquepasa]

Sometimes to keep your head above water, you just gotta find a side hustle.*

Do YOU have a side hustle?

I want to know about it. Tell me in the comments!

(and gimme a url link if you’ve got it!)

*thank you to blogger helloalissa for such a very apt term to define all the little projects in my life.*

today’s little language lesson

毎日私はハスルをします。

Mai-nichi watashiwa hasuru o shimasu.

Every day I’m hustlin.

In the Doodle Dumps.

2016-09-23T03:26:00.001-04:00

I’ve been trying to write a blog post all week with no real headway happening. My week isn’t one I’m too keen to write about, because it is a whole lot of me just being down in the dumps over what most people would see as insignificant blips on the radar of life.

I don’t write for pity, or unsolicited advice on how to “get over it.” I write because this little blog has been an open diary to the world since before we did our first international move to Mexico back in 2011, and to not write my weekly entry would more likely just add “guilty" to the general apathetic malaise I’ve got going on. I do believe, down the road I’ll be happy to be able to go back and see where I was and that it all got better.

Hence: Here I go Again.

I’m very bummed that the craft fair was rescheduled last week due to typhoon/rain. And I’m bummed that the weather has continued to be dreary all week, which has succeeded in trapping me indoors while blocking out the sunshine from my life. For lack of better term; it all sucks.

Instead of continuing to whine, I have doodled this week, and I’d rather just share those and let them speak for themselves. I’m due for another “Doodle Dump” anyway, eh?

dozens of baked goods suddenly without a fair to attend. so that's how the week started.

Mac lucked out in that I had also baked a few dozen dob biscuits for this cancelled fair as well.

My Japanese teacher is determined. Which is good, because I'm regularly in the "OMFG I can't do this" camp.

dramatic reenactment of actual events regarding the dog bed.

Thankful for a patient Mister while I work the blargh out of my system

And so. I hope you all have a lovely week, I’ll be okay, promise.

today's little language lesson:

微妙

beem-yoh

literally, "subtle" but colloquially, "meh."

What'cha doin' this weekend?

2016-09-15T08:29:00.000-04:00

EDIT: I'm gonna let my original words stand, but this event has been postponed to rain... to a date that I cannot participate. The only one who's okay with this is Mac. Because he gets all the dog biscuits

Remember in my last post when I mentioned some upcoming craft fairs? The first one is this weekend. If you’re in Nagoya, I’d be pleased as punch to see you out at Tsurumai Park on Sunday afternoon for the Aichi Vision event. There will be live music and family-friendly activities, but most importantly, there will be ME and KP2 selling all sorts of fun things including (but not limited to):

-screeen printed tea towels and canvas bags

-dog and cat toys.

-hand-knitted scarves

-carrot cupcakes

-*for the first time at an event here* old fashioned chocolate chip cookies.

(there was a small test batch of cookies. I was supposed to take pictures to post here. you may notice they did not survive long enough for a picture to exist. that’s how good those cookies are.)

click to embiggen

Since I’ve been hunkered down at the apartment prepping for all that, I haven’t been out and about much for too much in the way of blog-worthy adventures.

So come on out - be a part of the adventure

I’ll blog about next week!

today’s little language lesson

私はすべてのクッキーを食べません

watashi wa subete no kukki o tabemasen

I will not eat all the cookies

Sewing for my Sanity

2016-09-09T00:49:00.001-04:00

Every once in a while I meet a non-Japanese person who has lived in Japan for eons and intends to continue on living here, but by and large, the Expat population of Japan has three categories:

Those here to teach English for a few years
Those here from their home company on a short term assignment, and
The supporting partners/ spouses/ families of category number two.

In case you have not been paying attention, I fall squarely into category #3. Here in Nagoya, I am in charge of the household. Making sure there’s dinner on the table, ironing work shirts, basically being a Stepford Wife. Which is a sentence I type while fully acknowledging I thoroughly enjoy and am totally grateful for the freedom this role affords me in terms of experiencing Japan on The Mister’s company dime. For the time being, I am happy being a housewife.

Being an American housewife in Japan is a full-time job with no vacation. It’s not that I don’t have enough to do here just in the name of keeping The Mister, Mac, Bubba and I alive and well - but, I do need a little more creative enrichment in my life. There’s a sense of uselessness that’ll creep up on me if *all* I focus on is the monotony of laundry, cooking, cleaning, and grocery runs.

And so - in the spare minutes between laundry loads, I MAKE stuff. Fall is a particularly good time for this because Halloween is my fave holiday, AND it’s big in Nagoya. Plus there are loads of little Fall craft fairs, and with Kp2’s help, I’ve been invited to participate in a few of them. So the last few weeks have been a whirlwind of creating.

I’ve got scarves knitted, bracelets woven, magnet sets painted, and cat toys stuffed with catnip ready to sell.

(I’ll be at the Aichi Vision Festival on the 18th at Tsuruma Park from noon - 8pm. Then on October 7th I’ll be at the YWCA for their Fall Bazaar from 10am - 3pm And along with the above I’ll have CUPCAKESsSsSS)

I’ve painted a "Kanto League" baseball hat and stitched together a Bulbasaur hoodie for The Mister and Mac’s Halloween Costumes.

And then yesterday, for no fall related reason, I decided to teach myself flash animation.

of COURSE the first one is Mac. come on.

I based this one off of actual Bubba, and this tumblr post, which made The Mister and I cackle:

This is one of those skills I’ve long envied and wanted to learn, but was under the impression that it was super complicated and I would need a college level course and a text book. Turns out I needed an afternoon, a ton of patience and youtube tutorials. And now also I need to convince The Mister that I need a proper tablet because the super cheap and cruddy one I’ve been using since college finally bit the dust halfway through these quick projects.

What do you do to keep your soul feeling well-fed?

Is there a cool skill you’ve taught yourself?

(and did you immediately feel like you needed to invest deeply into supplies for said skill?)

Tell me in the comments!

today’s little language lesson

私は真新しいタブレットをむさぼっ

Watashi wa maatarashī taburetto o musabo~tsu

I covet a brand new tablet.

Gotcha(pon)

2016-09-02T02:37:00.002-04:00

Alrighty. I need some silly. Let’s do this.

Roughly once a month I make the bold statement: “THIS. This is the best gatchapon that could possibly exist. I no longer need to buy gatchapons once I have bought this particular gatchapon.” It’s my version of when you were in college and you had a rough night and were all “I’m DONE drinking forever… until Amber manages to smuggle another brick of Milwaukee’s Beast into the dorm.”

Amber was SUCH an enabler.

(Did you have a Amber in university?

Or were YOU the Amber of your friends?

Tell me in the comments!)

What’s a 'Gatchapon' you ask?

Toys, Trinkets, Small Accessories, Chachkies*. The type of “high quality choking hazard” items you might have gotten in a McDonald’s Happy Meal, or pulled out of a prize chest at the end of your Dentist visit because -unlike myself as a sugar-sucking child-monster- you sometimes flossed.

Mac likes gatchapon capsules (minus the gatchapon inside) as a fun puzzle.
I stick cookies inside and hide them in the house. He gets a brain teaser, I get a toy. Everyone wins.

They’re sold in little capsules from magical little contraptions similar to gumball machines. And one can find those machines in collections by the dozen, stacked together in large banks in the middle of the mall, next to the cash register in most restaurants, in any arcade, literally just randomly out on the street while you’re walking around

Rows and rows of Gatchasssss

Gatchapon machines are everywhere, they usually travel in packs (as I type that I realize that I’ve never seen just a single Gatchapon machine out by itself. If there’s one Gatchapon, there’s at least a dozen more nearby. Gathapons: the cockroaches Japanese retail.) and each Gatchapon machine has a theme. There will be up to a dozen different items in the machine that all fit the theme, and when you put in your 100¥ coins and turn the dial, you’re rolling the proverbial dice to see which of those items you will get to further enrich your life.

As you might remember, I happen to be a adult woman. And as such, you might be asking yourself; Why, KpMcD, would you purchase what are clearly toys meant for small children? And why would you keep doing that?

How DARE you. I would argue they’re not all for children. Non-kiddie-centric themes I’ve encountered (I say that while fully acknowledging that I buy the ones for kids too. A wind-up walking pikachu toy? I mean, come on.):

enamel pins that commemorate that one time you visited any number of Japanese tourist hot spots (I collect these)
tiny underwears for your water bottle (to catch condensation sweat)
business card holders shaped like anthropomorphized world landmarks (like lady liberty)
suction cup shaped like a Mario™ Chain Chomp that props up your cell phone
stickers featuring holographic pictures of “attractive” Japanese Pop Boy Band members
small plastic women posed to best show off their cleavage and their panties, which are made to perch on the rim of a beer mug
hats for your pets

(haha they haaaaaate me.)

What’s the weirdest Gatchapon YOU’ve seen?

Tell me in the comments! (bonus internet points for pictures)

Long story short, I’ve amassed quite a collection of Gatchapons. And while I put on a good dramatic show about it; just like Amber’s not done tricking you into one more frat party, I’m not done sheepishly explaining to the cashier at the nearest store that I need my change back in 100¥ coins so I can buy more little plastic trinkets.

my precioussssesss.

today's little language lesson

私は別の小さな犬の帽子が欲しいです

Watashi wa betsu no chīsana inu no bōshi ga hoshīdesu

I want another tiny dog's hat.

*I maaaaaaybe used the word "Chachki" just because it reminded me of Violet Chachki, which in turn reminds me of RuPaul’s Drag Race, which makes me excited to catch up on All Stars season 2** after I post this***

**Team Katya.

***Can someone explain to me why World of Wonder has put regional restrictions on their videos? If you’re going to post the whole episode online but only for people in the states, then A. You should be called US of Wonder, and B. You should just know straight away that it will only take about 20 minutes for someone to rip that from your site, where you get viewing numbers and stats, and repost it on youtube.

Road Trip!

2016-08-21T22:54:00.001-04:00

Whah ho hey I’m back.

Thanks for your patience, all. I enjoyed a lovely birthday blog break.

So since we last met…

Kp2 and I had a silly birthday party, complete with piñata, tabehoudai*, and CAKE. Mostly it was a nice chance to catch up with our friends. I also made Kp2 and I birthday sashes, which are popular here in the same way that a fake veil would be popular for a bachelorette party in the states. Before the party, I brought the blank sashes to my Japanese lesson and asked my teacher what would be the most appropriate thing to write on them. I assumed she would direct me to write something prim and proper like “best birthday wises” but instead, with a devilish glint in her eye, my teacher instructed me to scrawl “Omedetou Obaasan, Banzai!” on each sash. Which effectively translates to “Congrats Old Lady!” Ha. Good job, Sensei.

*tabehoudai: a style of Japanese restaurant where you pay a flat fee upon entry and then have 2 hours to eat and drink as much as you can. (aka: “All you can eat.”) Sometimes also referred to as a nomihoudai, or “all you can drink.” We did both, no worries.

After that The Mister and I packed up and went out to the Navy Base in Yokosuka for a bit. He had some work to take care of out there (and a promotion, what what!). I just wanted to get out of the Nagoya Humidity (and buy a bunch of American strength cleaning supplies at the commissary).

Ocean Sunset from the pier. I'll take it.

Usually we take the Shinkansen (bullet train) out to Yokosuka when there is navy business to attend, but this time The Mister decided he wanted to drive. Notable as it is about an hour and a half to take a train out to the base… but a SIX (6!) hour drive! Still, it wasn’t like, the most unpleasant thing I’ve ever done, guys. Japan does road travel in style.

I’m used to road trips where you buckle in and you start driving and you don’t stop until you get there or you run out of gas. If someone in your driving party is stupid enough to have had a glass of water at some point, and insists that the car make an additional stop (UGH), then you will be treated to a rest area that might *look* nice, but the smell of old urine that hits you as soon as you get out of the car lets you know you’re really making a throw of the dice at when it’s been last cleaned.

In Japan, it is strongly recommended that drivers take a break once every two hours at least. And when I say “strongly recommended,” I mean that our car’s navigational system actually chimed in at two hours and said “It’s been about two hours since you started driving. Why don’t you take a break?” Obviously, this isn’t something we were expecting to happen, so gold star to The Mister for not panicking at the strange voice in the car and swerving off the side of the highway into oblivion the first time it happened.

Because the entire drive out there was through Japan’s mountain ranges… beautiful, but a lot of real high up bridgeways to drive across. Panic-swerving would not end well.

The first time we pulled over, we chose a rest stop near Mt. Fuji. Unfortunately Fuji-sama (how Japanese folk address the mountain) was hiding in the fog this particular day… sorry for the crap picture. But there were these little fuji-shaped cakes at the store there, so we can pretend.

Okay but the rest stops? Amazing. We ended up stopping multiple times on the way out and the way back from the base, and every single rest stop put American rest areas to horrible shame.

The rest stops were all incredibly spacious and well organized. Each stop had a row of restaurants, small gift shop(s), gas station, all the vending machines ever, immense parking, and giant rest rooms. Most of them even had a well maintained dog-run area. So… we all know what happens next time we have reason to drive out to the base.

Road trip with Capt'n Mac*!
*yes, I did buy him a tiny navy officer cap. how could I not?

The organization of these rest areas was awesome. As we pulled in, we were directed by maps of the parking areas that had lights to indicate which lots had available parking spaces. This is fairly common in Japan, so not surprising. But what if I told you they also had maps like that… for the restrooms?

Yes. Little green lights on the sign indicated which toilets were open, what kind of toilets they were (squat toilet vs. BIDET… who picks the squat when bidet is an option!?), and which sinks were available. Every time we stopped there was at least one restroom attendant keeping everything clean and toilet paper stocked, while scented diffusers and fresh flowers (I mean, seriously) that kept the place smelling pleasant even though there were literally 100+ toilets all smashed into the same area.

Really the moral of the story is that you think you’re going to go on a wonderful adventure and see such awe inspiring things but then Mt. Fuji decided to hide behind a bank of clouds and so you find yourself gushing about public toilets on the internet instead.

What was the coolest thing about your last road trip?

Can YOU beat a bidet map?

Tell me in the comments!

today’s little language lesson

おめでとうおばあさん（おじいさん）、ばんざい！

omedetou obaasan (ojiisan), banzai!

congrats old lady (man)!

Up Nort, Japan Style.

2016-08-03T04:29:00.001-04:00

Rejoice, for today it is only 87% humidity. That is the first time this week it’s been so low! Sounds like time for a walk!

Or not. Being outside in Nagoya right now perpetually feels just like when you wear shorts and sit in a crappy restaurant vinyl upholstered booth. You know those booths. They’re always a gross red/maroon color, and there’s at least one rip, spilling out some sort of knobby foam that is of questionable *maybe asbestos* quality. Then you get up but the skin on the back of your legs is all “you may not leave, I have become one with this disgusting vinyl" and you shall just have to live here forever… or slowly *PEEL* yourself off this seat in one of the most uncomfortable feelings that can be felt.

Sticky, is what I mean. It’s all just sticky.

At times like these, I become thankful for the determination and mad google skills of KP2, for last weekend she declared “Eff this noise! Let’s get out of the city and find a river to relax in!” Then she up and found just such a river a few hours north of here.

So The Mister, The Australians™, and Mac all took a Sunday drive Up Nort, Japan style.

on the drive up. we def. went through that mountain.

dog POV for the cookout

Once we were able to find a place that let us park our cars, we had a lovely river-side cook out and waded in the River for a few hours. If anything can cut through the thick and dismal air that is Nagoya in the summertime, this crystal clear river is definitely that.

tucked out, stretched out, blissed out.

Mac was in his element. He was so happy to go along ( and in turn, I was so happy to be able to give my puppy some space for him to stretch out a bit - thank you to The Australians™ for letting this dobermutt tag along! ). His [old] showed a bit as he struggled to keep his footing on the slippery rocks of the riverbed, and of course, Mac merely wades, he does not swim, because he’s a ninny. But regardless, he was the happiest dog ever. It could have been better if we’d have let him stick his head out the window on the way home. Alas, this was not to be because around 3:30pm the sky decided it was murder time.

I don’t like storms. One might even go so far as to say I’m afraid of storms. You know what? You go ahead and make fun of me for being an adult that is afraid of water falling from the sky but I feel pretty strongly that my fears are reasonable. Consider for a moment, that I hail from the Midwest U.S. Aka “Tornado Alley,” you know, that part of the U.S. where the summer skies regularly open a can of whoop ass on any and everything as far as the eye can see. I believe that I have managed to survive into my early thirties* due largely in part to my ability to look at the sky and say “TIME TO GO TO THE BASEMENT RIGHT NOW.”

facebook proof from the past.

We heard it coming. The rumbles started up long before we saw any clouds or lightening, and as such, we tried to just ignore it for a while. The River was clear and cool, the air was warm but crisp, and we were all enjoying the sunshine. A little while later the clouds rolled in, and then the wind went from pleasant to “exfoliate your face” strength. Then the rain, and mere seconds later… THUNDER AND LIGHTENING and me/ Mac running for the car.

I only yelped like a stuck pig once as we packed up the car, and I didn’t get struck by lightening and die, so I’d call that a win.

Then we spent the next four hours in bumper to bumper Japanese traffic while the rain came down in buckets and the sky made it’s best impression of what it sounds like when you accidentally drop a spoon in the garbage disposal.

Apparently the storms followed us home. Yesterday it rained so bad the TRAINS STOPPED. Can we talk about how absurd that is? Last year we had typhoons roll through and the worst that happened was one train delayed for about 10 minutes. They flat cancelled whole train lines yesterday evening. As someone who mostly sticks to the 5 mile radius I can walk to from our apartment, that was crazy weird to hear about, but not alarming.

…you know, until I remembered that The Mister is a two hour train ride away at work. Except not a train ride. Because the train is cancelled.

Like many other Nagoyans yesterday, The Mister was stranded at the train station. He sat for an hour hoping the lines would be restarted, to no avail. He managed to find a few co-workers in the area that were also stuck in the same area, so they had dinner together, hoping again that the trains would restart. Again, no luck. So they tried to get a cab, which all the other THOUSANDS of people who were also stranded had already taken. Long story short, yesterday, my husband excitedly texted me that he had managed to get out of work early for the first time in forever at 5pm… and he didn’t actually get home from work until a series of subways, buses and a few still functioning train lines found him here at 1am.

Like the biggest BAMF ever, he still went to work this morning at 6am. I have no idea how he does it. Mad props, Mister.

At least that’s all over and done with tho, yes? What’s that? The weather forecast for today says MORE thunderstorms?

well, so there's that then.

What’s your take on storms?

Tell me in the comments!

today’s little language lesson

私は雷の怖いです

watashi wa kaminari no kowai desu.

I am afraid of thunder.

*Oh hey lookit that. My birthday just so happens to be on Friday. I’m taking a week off from blogging as a present to myself…. and then it’s Obon (Japanese holiday) and I can’t guarantee that I’ll be bringing a laptop along on our vacation so I will likely see y’all in two weeks! Have adventures, I will do the same and we’ll come back here in a fortnight to discuss.

This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things.

2016-07-27T05:01:00.001-04:00

Should I acknowledge that I skipped a week on the blog? I mean, we all know it’s because of PokémonGo right? Yes, we all also know I’m a grown ass woman who *should* be beyond childish video games, but we also all know that I flipping love Pokemon and as a grown-ass adult woman I’m allowed to have weird hobbies and interests because you most certainly have them and you just don’t blog about me so LET ME LIVE.

*ahem* sorry okay I’m fine.

There are certainly more phone zombies out on the streets, but I have to say that I’m really happy to have had such an easy in to conversations with native Japanese people in the park lately, and I’m particularly pleased as punch over the gym I won yesterday with the help of the oldest, most turtled little obaasan lady. #TeamInstinct. And that’s all I have to say about Pokemans.

So yesterday I returned home from a walk to put my key in the lock when I overheard the worst noise any cat owner can hear -if you’ve ever had a cat, you know the noise- it’s the “URK - URK - URK” that immediately proceeds an epic cat vomit. Your response to this sound might, like me, be to find the offending feline as quickly as possible, so that it might be relocated to a space in the home that has laminate flooring for easier hork-clean up.

In this particular instance, I was not fast enough. I unlocked the door and burst into the hallway just in time to see Bubba going “exorcist-style” all over the tiny little couch.

ah yes, these are the types of photoshop skills that make my parents particularly proud of that art degree I have...

I mean, I know we don’t really ever sit on the stupid tiny couch, but I do still try and keep it un-vomit-y. Except, then there’s cleaning products in Japan. Which... can we just take a minute?

The Mister and I are planning a trip to the Navy base for Obon (mid August National holiday in Japan). While many might think that I’m excited to hit up the commissary for some new clothes or American foods, what’s actually on my shopping-spree list of American goods is… cleaning products. The Japanese stuff just seems weak to me. Maybe it isn’t, but there is something comforting about the smell of antibacterial-chemicals that makes me actually feel like something is clean. That is not an aroma that comes with any of the Japanese cleaning products I’ve found in our local grocery store.

yep, that's real. I'm adulting.

On top of that, upholstery cleaning isn’t super common here? That’s a guess I make because I have yet to find any cleaning products specifically for cleaning upholstered stuff like… couches.

Long story short, yesterday I had to take the covers off all the couch cushions and run them through the wash - effectively leaving a frame of springs and discomfort in the middle of the living room.

Meanwhile Mac is adjusting to his new bed nicely. Dog bed? Nah. They don’t make dog beds big enough for Mac-dogs here (just like they don’t make couches big enough for Kp-peoples…), so when this happened a week ago:

this look says "do you see this memory foam, ma? it's all wrong for my lower lumbar support."

…we went out and bought yet another toddler’s mattress for our own princess-pooch and the pea. He sleeps on three mattresses piled on top of each other because his aging joints like a little extra cushion, and also because that is the minimum limit of bedding for Mac to actually stay in that bed all night, instead of trying to crawl up into the people bed and shove me off the side at 2AM.

It’s a good thing they’re cute, is what I’m saying.

Is there something your adorable pets do that

make you day-dream of scotch guard?

Tell me in the comments?

today’s little language lesson

私の猫はおうとしました。

watashi no neko wa outoshmashita.

my cat threw up.

The Gaijin Summer Survival Kit

2016-07-13T06:34:00.000-04:00

Believe me when I say that the irony of the most popular Nintendo game in recent history not yet being released in Nintendo’s homeland of Japan while I am in Japan is not an irony which is lost on me.

(though I did manage to catch a server test the other day while it was up for an hour… and then I also caught an Evee.)

In any case, best get my weekly blog post in before PokemonGO *does* release in Japan because lord knows that I will fall into that void for at least a week or so.

So. This was the weather report this morning while I waited at the train stop. That’s 9:15AM. 30 seconds after I took this screen shot a wave of torrential rain fell from the sky while the earth continued to reach higher and higher tempreatures. How does anyone survive the temperature/ humidity/ sudden downpours that are so common during this season?

Let me introduce you to... My Gaijin Summer Survival Kit

this stuff (minus the hat) lives in my backpack all summer long.

Sunglasses. Because when it isn’t raining, there seems to be an endless supply of windows and other various reflective surfaces which will surely burn out your retinas.
Brimmed hat. See above reasons. Also it keeps your ear-tips from getting sunburned and crispy like you’re growing bacon on the sides of your face.
Sweat-rag. Because you sweat when it’s hot and then when there’s so much humidity in the air that you’re basically walking through a soggy sponge on your commute, that air isn’t going to let any of the aforementioned sweat evaporate. Take matters into your own hands. Your handy dandy sweat rag is your new bestie.
Umbrella. Because it rains so much harder when you don’t have one. The heavens… they know.
Ever-cool neck towel. You add water - hot or cold, doesn’t even matter! - and then place this thing around the back of your neck. As this towel slowly dries out it magically stays cool, and by proxy, keeps you cool too. I don’t understand this magic, but I am thankful to our unicorn overlords for bestowing their gift upon us.
Bottled water. ...Or at least 110 yen in your pocket so you can buy a bottle of water at the next vending machine. Or better yet both. You’ll need it. Stay hydrated folks!
Oil Blotting Paper. The post sweat-rag option for when you’ve found your destination and have managed to get yourself back inside a building (preferably a building with Air-Con*). A handy maneuver to look a little less like you visited an olive oil factory and fell into the processing tank.
Hair Style Reset Wipes. These claim to take the excess oils and sweat out of your hair once you’ve successfully escaped the outdoors. They don’t really “reset” your style to it’s original condition, but they do make you feel a little less gross if'n you don’t have immediate access to a shower.
Body spray fragrance in travel size. Because no matter how amazing your deodorant, it doesn’t last as long as you need it to in this weather. However, just so we’re very clear, body spray is no excuse to skip the deodorant. I wish I could tattoo this sentiment on the people I always get stuck next to on crowded trains.
Not pictured: nylons or spandex-y undergarments. I know you might think: “Oh God, another layer of clothing? What on earth are you thinking!?” To which I say: Skirts give your legs access to some air circulation, but heat rash/ chub-rub is a very real and present danger to the non-Japanese proportioned gal. Nylons add a buffer zone and fix that. You’re. Welcome. Side-note, Uni-Clo offers boxer-short type things made of fabric which boasts “sweat wicking technology." This is a technology I would not have guessed I’d be ready to offer virgin sacrifices, but you know, here we are with an alter, a pure goat, and a pair of cooling boxer briefs.

What do you keep in your survival kit -

tell me in the comments!

today’s little language lesson

この季節は梅雨と呼ばれています。誰もがそれを嫌っています。

kono kisetsu wa tsuyu to yobarete imasu. Daremo ga sore wo kiratte imasu.

This season is called the rainy season. Everyone hates it.

*today at my Japanese lesson, we were talking about vacation spots around Japan. My teacher told me she spent a few years living in Thailand and it was beautiful, but so hot that she had to keep the air conditioner on 24 hours a day! The incredulous tone to her voice made me pause and ask "wait. how long do you keep your Air Con on during this season?" To which she replied, only when it is too hot. Maybe an hour or two each day. Guys, I don't know when I last turned the Air Con in our house off.

I haven't melted yet.

2016-07-06T05:17:00.001-04:00

bwah. okay hi.

I’ve been working on keeping up with life over here so the blog has been a bit sparse these last few weeks. Sorry not sorry, #letmelive.

I also try to keep things light and happy when I write. Because, hello: I am well aware that I am a very privileged woman to be able to travel and live abroad multiple times. To have the support of a Mister who puts up with my shenanigans and encourages my art and never once batted an eye when I insisted we spend a LOT of money to make sure both Mac and Bubba can come along for those adventures even though he’s a little bit allergic to Bubba and in this tiny apartment sometimes that gets pretty yuck for him.

It’s hard to see a downside in a place this beautiful.

That being said, we’re in the middle of Japan’s Rainy season - a time when it’s reasonable to expect torrential downpours at any hour of the day.

Mac's v. fashionable rain coat, his post-downpour-walk face, and his "omg now it's a thunderstorm and we are certainly about to die" face.

However, in an unusual phenom that I’m sure has ties to Global Warming and our imminent demise, the *really* hot and humid (we’re talking at least 90*F each day with 75% or better humidity) part of the year has started in Nagoya a few weeks earlier than usual. This effectively means that if the heavens are not trying to drown you, they are absolutely trying to melt you like that one time you forgot the gummy bears in your car. Or as I affectionately refer to it: It’s like living in an armpit.

A few of The Mister’s coworkers are trying hopefully to speculate that if the season started early, it’ll end early... but I think we all know that this constant feeling of swamp-ass and floating through everyone else’s BO cloud is just gonna be real life for us all until at least mid September.

I can’t spend the next few months being a cranky whiner, so instead, let me look at the top 5 amusing things going on in my Nagoya life right now.

1. The cicadas are back! I know not everyone is a fan of cicadas, the ground dwelling bugs that lay dormant underground for years and then suddenly all know to come above ground, molt, sing their song, mate, and die all in the same few weeks together. But they are fascinating to me, and the molted cicadas are really beautiful jewel tones, and I think their song is a good substitute for a white noise machine in the middle of the loud, bustling city.

lookit his little "peekaboo!" face in the first picture. eee!

2. It’s eel season. I. Love. Eel meat. If you don’t, great- more for me. If you do, hit me up, let’s go get an Unagi bowl RIGHT NOW.

3. It’s almost Mac bootie season. There comes a time when not only is it so hot in Nagoya that Mac cannot physically live outside long enough to take a walk until after the sun goes down, but the sidewalk remains hot enough that he has to wear little booties to be able to comfortably put his paws to pavement. Have you ever seen a dog in booties? Because it’s the best.

duck walking. yesssss.

4. Birthday planning has begun. Or really, I’ve decided what kind of cake I’m going to make myself, and I am REALLY excited to bake it. (I also decided what kind of cake I’m going to bake for Kp2, who’s birthday is right after mine, and I think she’s gonna love it).

5. Oktoberfest is this weekend in Nagoya. Yeah, you read that right. A celebration that many westerners associate with a specific fall month, instead takes place in the middle of the hottest part of summer here in Japan. The Mister, The Australians™ and I are gonna go watch the yodeling, the lederhosen, and drink ice cold beer as we sweat out all the water but retain the alcohol content in what is obviously not a real big health risk for the participants. Good times ahead ya’ll.

last year's yodelers

What do you like about the

(totally oppressively hot and humid) summer season?

Tell me in the comments!

today's little language lesson:

私は脇の下に住んでいます

watashi wa wakino shita ni sunde imasu.

I live in an armpit.

Texting Japanese, I think I’m Texting Japanese…

2016-06-22T05:24:00.001-04:00

When you’ve been in Japan long enough, I would wager even if you’re not actively trying to learn the language, you pick up a few phrases here and there. “Arigatou.” “Sumimasen.” “Daijoubu!”

(that’s “Thanks.” "Excuse me." and “Ok." respectively, for my peeps back stateside)

And you probably use those words, on a not-entirely-conscious level with your friends and acquaintances. I know we (meaning The Mister and I) definitely use a few Japanese words commonly when we’re chatting with any of The Australians™ and they do the same back with us. It’s sort of a fun way to have a “secret code” that is not secret to anyone.

The fun part comes when you begin to use those phrases in text messages. Why? Because we are too lazy to switch our texting keyboards over to the Japanese character keyboard for just one word, so we’ll spell ‘em out phonetically in roman alphabet characters. Which means the best thing happens:

AUTO CORRECT.

That above sentence is so laced with sarcasm it’s an entire doily collection. Auto correct is not the best. I hate auto-correct so, so much. But when it’s Japanese words, the auto corrects can be amazing. And so here are my top five favorite things which Auto Correct has sent to my friends in replace of words that are even slightly sensical.*

5. Daijoubu

what it means: 大丈夫 Okay/ Alright

what auto correct thinks it means: Sais Honey

Bonus - when you can make fun of yourselves for how you said daijoubu before you learned how to properly pronounce Japanese words and find yourself telling each other “Die-joe-bers”

4. Kanpai

what it means: 乾杯 Cheers!

what auto correct thinks it means: Limp pie

3. Sumimasen

what it means: すみません Excuse me

what auto correct thinks it means: Sumo Mash

2. Doko desu ka?

what it means: Where are you?

what auto correct thinks it means: Dodo deus k’s?

1. Domo Arigatou Gozaimasu

what it means: どもありがとございます Thank you very much

what auto correct thinks it means: Dino Rigatoni Go Carts

What’s your best Auto Correct?

Tell me in the comments!

*Sadly, I “added words” to my phone's “dictionary" as I’ve been here, and now the only one that still works is Dino Rigatoni Go Carts, because I’d finally figured out that these Auto Corrects were too great to demolish.

today’s little language lesson

私は、自動補正のが大嫌いです。

Watashiwa, jidou hosei no ga daikiraidesu.

I hate auto correct.

Japanese Netflix

2016-06-10T23:57:00.001-04:00

I have a weird guilt thing going on lately: I’ve been in Japan for over a year and a half and somehow I am not 100% fluent in Japanese.

That sentence is about half joking. I have seen native Japanese speakers take out their pocket dictionaries to look up words or kanji that THEY don’t know in their own language, so I am comfortable in the knowledge that the is no such thing as 100% fluent. I do sometimes feel like I should just be… BETTER at this than where I am.

I can manage the life basics: I am conversationally proficient in getting groceries, navigating to places, ordering at restaurants, and talking to people on the street about the giant dog at the end of my leash. But because that covers about 90% of my life here, I haven’t pushed beyond that. I’ve been sort of stagnating at that level for longer than I’m comfortable with.

I study at least an hour a day, but recently my anxiety has been rearing it’s ugly little head every second I’m not parked in front of my notebooks with a highlighter, sneering in an ugly little voice;

“why aren’t you studying right now?”

I mean, I needed to do laundry so we have clean clothes to we-“but you could be studying.”
Yeah, I just needed to get dinner toget-“it’s your fault you’re not fluent”
Sure, except if I don’t walk Mac he’ll go craz-“this is why we can’t have nice things!”

right except then I put up vocab flashcards in front of the toilet so there is no escape.

This feeling is worse when I’m doing things which aren’t vital chores. Like say, doodling silly comics about my anxiety, or painting my finger nails.

My current solution to curb the anxious little monster on my back is to make a point of turning Japanese subtitles on while watching Netflix for "reading practice” (which I admittedly mostly ignore).

OR, better actual solution, watching Japanese television shows, to practice my listening skills. If’n you have access to Netflix and want to also pretend you’re being productive in learning Japanese as you indulge some silly media… allow me to share my current faves.

Yokai Watch

Easily the most popular kid’s show in Japan right now, Yokai watch is like… pokemon, but with ghosts. Watch out, America, my understanding is that it’s coming to the US soon, and it’s gonna be big. There are no English subtitles on the Japanese netflix seasons of Yokai Watch, but the plots are easy enough to follow along without needing to read.

Basically this kid, Keta, has a watch which allows him to communicate with ghosts, and once he’s befriended a ghost, the watch allows him to call upon them for help in his every day life.

It’s interesting because many of the ghosts have back stories about how they came to BE ghosts, which alternate between weirdly hilarious - like the business man who was fired, got drunk and on his walk home was crushed by falling construction equipment… along with a small stray dog who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time… so his ghost is basically a toy poodle with a creepy adult man’s face. It can also be “oh wow that actually made me cry” emotional - like the grandfather ghost who waits outside a convenience store every day to see his granddaughter, who he misses and was very close with in life… until he realizes that she still carries a trinket around that he gave her and comes to be at peace knowing she misses him too. Some of the episodes get understandably real childish, like the one where the big problem was a ghost that made everyone he affected have to fart, but I’ve also learned a few fun phrases, so I’ve stuck with it.

This ghost's name is "MuRi" which I learned means "no way." Yes, he is a wall.

Terrace House

My cousin actually turned me onto this show when she found it on her American Netflix! I… am weirdly addicted to hating this show?

Terrace House is a long running show that recently partnered with Netflix. The premise is a little bit Real World, with six strangers, all picked to live in together, and a little bit traditional Japanese panel commentary style, aka an actual panel of (sometimes funny) commentators who watch the show along with you and pop in every few minutes to share their thoughts on how things are going. And the rest of it is a REAL interesting look into Japanese relationships and courtship. By which I mean these people are in this house with the express purpose of finding love, and it takes 10 (TEN!) full episodes into the series before of them even kiss.

I’m in a love-hate thing with terrace house because the pacing is (as described above) painfully slow for my American sensibilities. But I love it for when the one random guy in the house who happens to have grown up in the US (Arman, if you’re also a TH fan), holds his dates' hand, and then I laugh for YEARS at how shocked and offended the entire commentary panel is with how brazen he is and how quickly he moves.

the hand holding.

the reaction.

Silver Spoon

Silver spoon follows an upperclass rich kid who -for some reason that’s not yet explained- decides to go to an agricultural high school instead of a yuppy preparatory school. The show follows his trials and tribulations as he makes friends by melding his city-slicker sensibilities with his growing farm skills. There’s not much more to say about that. I heart when he’s introduced to the piglets and his classmates immediately tell him “these are food, do not name them.” and he takes approximately three seconds to pause before proclaiming his piglet’s name: Porkbowl.

I also love the stray puppy they find and name class vice president. I watch this for the cute anime critters is what I’m saying.

The Devil is a Part-Timer

By FAR my favorite Japanese show I’ve found, The Devil is a Part-Timer is exactly what it sounds like and I need you to go watch it right now because it is absurd and amazing. The Devil gets kicked out of the immortal realm and decides that his best path to power in current corporate Japan is to work his way up the McDonalds management chain. Meanwhile there is an Angel sent to destroy him who gets a part time job as a cell phone sales rep to make ends meet while they hunt each other. It’s just hilarious.

And now, quite frankly, I’ve taken a long enough break from the books to write this up - back to studying!

Do you watch any fun Japanese shows

I should check out (on Netflix preferably)?

Tell me in the comments!

today’s little language lesson

七月の休日の第四のためにアメリカの食品を買いましたか？

nanagatsu no kyuujitsu no daishi no tame ni Amerika no shokuhin o kaimashita ka?

Did you buy American foods for the 4th of July holiday?

please note the clam chowder pringles in packaging

featuring a pringle chip dressed like lady liberty. ‘Murica.

We Need a Bigger Couch.

2016-06-02T07:57:00.001-04:00

I originally started out to write about Japanese TV and movies I’ve been watching, but this tirade about the couch just… grew. I’m having one of those “missing home/ grumbly with Japan” weeks, so you’ll have to excuse the non-Japanesey topic.

Our Tiny Japanese Couch. [TJC™] I. Am. Over. It. It is a useless space hog in our home. UGHHHH.

As Americans, The Mister and I, we have American sized booties. (To be very, very clear, I greatly enjoy The Mister’s booty. It is a quality booty. I am pleased with the size of said booty.) These booties of ours *technically* fit on the TJC™, though not in a way which people would call “comfortable.”

Unfortunately, this TJC™ is part of the relocation package provided to us by The Mister’s company. It is considered a "leased piece." As such, we do not own it, and thus even though we greatly dislike it now* -and it will be trashed when we leave- we are sort of committed to just sucking it up until the end of our time here in Japan.

If we went out and bought a new couch, it would be a cost out of our own pockets, and we’d have to figure out where to put the TJC™, and we’d have to get one which can physically fit into the elevator of our apartment/ through our apartment door (so it could not as big as we’d like), and then we’d have to deal with either getting rid of it when we go back to the states, OR we’ll have to ship it home and figure out where it’s going to fit in our house where a wonderful couch already exists. Far, far too much hassle.

Even when The Mister isn’t home to share a couch with me, I there is one other sizable tookus in the McD household and it gets real exhausting playing the “steal each other’s couch spot game” with a mutt.

Get up to pee, lose your seat IMMEDIATELY.

In fact, I got so sick of my dog’s inability to share the couch** a few weeks ago that I bought nice, cushy, yellow pillow for the floor so I can forfeit the couch fight and just sit in front of the darn thing. Approximately 3 hours after I got it home, this happened for the first time:

He picked it up off the floor and put it down for his head.
He is a smart dog, and sometimes I hate that.

*we actually picked it out thinking it would be good. And it seemed nice for the first few months, and then we realized it’s basically the furniture equivalent quality of a McDonald’s happy meal when you were really expecting at least like a Texas Roadhouse steak.

**Yes, I 100% understand that I am the alpha and he is a DOG and I should just ban him from the couch. Judge me how you want, he’s a good dog 95% of the time*** and I suck at telling this face no.

So here is the visual pouting when he's not allowed on the couch.
You're missing out on the audio portion of exasperated dog sigh every 30 seconds.

***95% Good dog. That 5%? Mac’s most recent entry to Dog Shaming:

TLDR summary of the TJC™: UGHHH.

I miss our giant sectional at our home in the states - big enough that The Mister, Mac AND I (plus Bubba on one of our laps) can all fit on it 100% stretched out without having anyone feel squished or contorted. I have decided it is the one thing I miss most about the US. Sorry friends and loved ones, I just want my Art Van brand "Dillon" 3 piece microsuede sectional couch in Chocolate.

(this website is like my own personal porn right now.)

Have you had those “I’m cranky with not being home” times?

What do you miss that some might think strange?

Tell me in the comments!

today’s little language lesson

マークちゃんが、ソファを　おりなさい。

Ma-Ku chan ga, so-fa o ori-nasai.

Mac, get off the couch.

Ode to a Backpack

2016-05-26T07:45:00.002-04:00

Since trying to drive in Japan near gives me a panic attack just to think about (I understand it’s an irrational level of anxiety, that knowledge doesn’t fix me) I instead adopted a much more pedestrian lifestyle while we’ve been living in Nagoya. Dare I say; I love it.

I feel more active and healthy, hoofing around has made me more navigationally savvy, I see more cool stuff because I can let my eyes wander a bit instead of focusing on the road, and it makes everything I buy a VERY intentional purchase. Because I’m walking. And if I have to walk a mile or more back to our apartment, whatever I’m carrying better be something we actually have a use for.

ah yes, these tiny plastic 100¥ figures were all absolutely vital purchases

Since I’m physically carrying everything we need around this city (examples: groceries, clothing, dog food, laundry detergent, that one time I bought a bookshelf and carried it back home and pulled every muscle in my arms but felt so triumphant about it), I’ve ditched the idea of carrying a purse and have converted whole-heartedly to taking a backpack with me everywhere.

Backpacks on adult, non-student people are much more common here than I’d ever noted back home. However, because it’s Japan, if you’re going to carry a backpack it needs to be fun and cute. When we first arrived, my backpack was a takeaway gift we’d received from when the Kellogg Cereal company hosted a Navy Ball.

note how nice and fancy we look...

five feet from a cardboard cut out of tony the tiger in fatigues.

Needless to say, it was not adorable, and I am a little ashamed to admit how quickly I became wildly self conscious about my totally not cute backpack. And so I made an investment and purchased my beautiful blue starry backpack, roughly a year ago.

This blue starry backpack has proven to be the most perfect accessory in my life: It’s star pattern is cute, but not like, over the top for my American sensibilities. It has side-zippers so I can reach behind me and rummage through the main pouch to grab stuff without needing to take it off (very handy on trains). It’s got a padded back piece so that weirdly pointy thing I just bought won’t stab me in the back while I walk. It has two side pouches that hold my phone and my house keys/rail pass respectively. It’s big enough to act as an overnight bag on weekend trips, even with the way I chronically overpack. It displays my collection of pins from all the touristy places I’ve visited here (my solution for wanting souvenirs from cool places without accruing clutter) And I can fit $100.00 worth of groceries inside without the straps giving out while I walk or bike home. It is so choice.

And now after a year of dutiful service, it’s finally time to retire my trusty blue starry backpack.

Actually, maybe retirement has been due for a while now, but I couldn’t bring myself to make the decision. I figured my blue starry backpack would tell me when it was time. But it’s been looking a little rough for a while now - in fact, while my mum was here visiting she insisted on buying me a new bag even though I was adamant it was fine and the way the bottom seam was fraying was totally fine. I am a creature of habit, you see, and I didn’t want to have to get used to a whole new system of zippers and pockets. This blue starry backpack is perfect… how could I ever find anything that could replace this perfect bag!?

How do you carry all your stuff around with you?

What do you look for in a new bag/ purse/ wallet?

Tell me in the comments!

Long story short… I ended up getting the exact same model.

Thus, tonight I will be moving over my wallet, pocket umbrella and sketchbook. My lip balm, tissues, and schedule book. My sweat rag (if you live in Japan in the summer, you have one, don’t judge), hand sanitizer, and my pin collection. And tomorrow will dawn a new era - the era of the black starry backpack.

#RIPbluestarrybackpack.

today’s little language lesson

この　かばん　は、同じ　ですね？

kono kaban wa, onagidesune?

isn’t that the same bag?

Negotiating Parlay

2016-05-17T23:59:00.001-04:00

For those who missed the memo, The Mister and I spent Golden Week in Cancun Mexico, to celebrate my little cousin tying the knot.

I’ve finally smoothed over the jet lag, thanks in part to KP2 who read my last post and came over three hours later with TWO entire boxes of Kraft Mac N Cheese which she had found.

less than three.

Our time in Mexico was spent at an all inclusive resort. Which is a cost-effective way to feel like you’re an opulent almighty ruler of everything you see. (that also makes it a WAY magnified version of the Waiter Rule. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY: Tip your staff and be gracious and kind for the work they are doing to make your vacation lovely. They are human beings and you need to at least pretend you have a shred of decency.)

The other thing all-inclusives are real good for, however, is finding ways to make you feel like you need to break out of the “included” amenities and spend more money to do “excursions.”

I have long felt the only detractor from all-inclusives is the constant sales pitch to do extra stuff. When you save to be able to take a trip that you understand has, you know, ALL things included, a sales person could literally say “this is two cents extra” and my natural inclination is to recoil in horror and say “WHAT ARE YOU DOING GO AWAY I HAVE ALREADY PAID FOR ALL THE THINGS I FEEL LIKE PAYING FOR.”

Have you ever stayed at an all-inclusive?

What’s your excursion stance?

Tell me in the comments!

I make a point on the occasions when I’ve been lucky enough to stay at an all-inclusive to be real upfront about rejecting extra charges. Upon check-in I immediately shut down the extra pitches: would you like to upgrade your room? Nope. Would you like to come to this breakfast where we try to get you to sign up for another vacation? Sashay Away*. Would you like to hear about all the fun things that cost extra in exchange for a bunch of coupons that are more or less meaningless? NO! And then I follow that up with pretending to be asleep anytime the sales people make their rounds at the pool.

Two exceptions to this rule in my head:

While I am 100% the person who will spend my time at a resort just belly up to the swim up bar, I recognize that I have married my opposite, and as such, he gets real bored of that in like, a day. The Mister is very good at finding stuff to do on the grounds - yoga, playing the games the activity director offers, checking out the night club. But we’re on vacation, and he needs a few opportunities to let his freak flag fly.
Remember that one time last week I talked about how HORRIBLY sunburnt I got? Turns out the onsite spa offers a sunburn treatment… for an extra charge. Which I signed up for without batting an eye.

Now the thing about any of these extra charges is that they are all 100% negotiable on price, IF you’re the type of person who is comfortable negotiating. The Mister is a champion of negotiating price. I… am not. He sent me to look at if the spa had any sun burn treatments and I without thinking about it just agreed to the first price I was given. The very next day The Mister was able to go to that same spa and negotiate for us to get a couple massage at literally 50% of their initial price. How did he do that? I don’t know, because the only part I was privy to was:

“Hey babe. I’m gonna go see if I can get us signed up for a couples massage. No no, stay here, I’m going to talk prices with them and you’re better just enjoying your mojito far away from that conversation.”

That’s not The Mister being mean, that’s The Mister being honest. And I’m grateful for that skill set of his because… I mean, I got a massage, did you not read the above?

He also negotiated for the one off-site excursion we took: A sunset dinner cruise. Which is pirate themed. Aka - The Galleons of Captain Hook.

Real talk, we took a gamble thinking this might be a stupid kiddie thing. And there *were* kids aboard… but holy cow did we have great time! It was like Medieval Times at sea!

There were three ships that went out, and at the end of the night, they had a legitimate pirate fight between each ship over the “treasure.” There were games, dances, between the two ship masts they had rigged a space for an aerial silks performance, cir de solei style right over our heads in the middle of the ocean. Did I mention there was a pirate fight between other ships at the end? Listen, it was silly. You should probably recognize that when you sign up for a pirate dinner show. But if you can be silly, I can’t recommend that trip enough.

Donning the children's pirate kit he purchased. Silly is The Mister's middle name.

It was our last night in Cancun and I’m so glad we chose that to wrap up our trip. Now I’m back in Japan* and ready to get back into the groove.

SPEAKING OF THAT AFOREMENTIONED GROOVE!

Are you in the Nagoya/ Chubu area? The Chubu Walkathon is this weekend, and I hope to see you there! The Walkathon is a charity event put together largely by the expat community of the area, and as this is the 25th year of the Walkathon, they’re going bigger and better than ever.

This year also includes… are you ready? COOKIES.

MY COOKIES.

I’m in the middle of making a few hundred limited edition Walkie the Walrus character cookies that will be for sale (¥200, non-negotiable price. Proceeds to the Walkathon charity) at the event. I’m SO excited to have my little budding bakery featured in this way and I’m doubly excited for the effort of all this baking go to such a great cause. Come say hi at the Walkathon on Sunday. Buy a Walkie Cookie. Help a good cause and get a delicious treat. I’ll see you there.

today’s little language lesson

Cuando hubiste hablado español para dos semanas, su mente esta muy confundido a empezar a hablar Japonese una vez mas.

When you've spoken Spanish for two weeks, your mind is too confused to begin speaking Japanese again.

*There are few things I make such a point to keep up with from the Western Hemisphere as knowing what's going on in RuPaul's Drag Race. If you have a fave queen you should tell me about it because I would talk about this for eons. Me? #PurseFirst. (and where do I buy Bob's first dress form the evening. I want it.)

Learn from My Mistakes.

2016-05-09T23:04:00.001-04:00

I’m pretty sure I am at a point where I would happily commit a heinous crime in exchange for one of those beautiful blue boxes of kraft mac n cheese in dino shapes.

Jet-Lag: How does it manifest in your body?

Tell me in the comments!

I seem to have a body that likes to deal with Jet-Lag on a roll of a dice: sometimes I do REALLY well! We landed in Cancun and were fine* within a day or so.

*with regard to timezones anyway. just wait, we’ll get there.

And other times (aka 5 out of 6 times), my whole body just goes on strike. Headaches, stomachaches, an acne breakout rivaling a 13 year old, a stupefying level of apathy to everything, and of course, inability to sleep at the proper time of day. This is compounded by my absolute inability to fly in a plane well, so that’s all coming at you directly after I spent 12 straight hours on a plane back to Japan curled in a ball trying not to hork and occasionally weeping in my pleas to my husband to please not let the flight attendants put food anywhere near me because the smell would 100% certainly make me vomit.

taken moments after clearing Japanese customs.
Please note how unaffected The Mister is next to my miserable hot-mess of a person-hood.

Not sharing all that for pity, but as an explanation for my insatiable need to cure the Blue Box Blues. Do they sell Mac N Cheese in regular grocery stores in Japan? Not that I’ve found in the last two days of wandering to the markets within my walking radius. I am hoping the craving and jet lag passes before I loose my mind and hitch hike out to the insanity that is Nagoya's Costco. (on that note, if you know me IRL, please do not mail me mac n cheese. I am well aware this is a passing thing, and will almost certainly be gone before a package would arrive. But thank you for keeping me in your thoughts.)

Moving on from macaroni; I’m back from Mexico and had a GREAT time! My little cousin got married in a beautiful ceremony, the reception was a blast, and I got to catch up with my family in a setting where no one had other stuff to run off and worry about. Plus, The Mister and I had some quality time to actually SEE each other without work obligations getting in our way. It was much needed.

Plus, *now* I’m a nice golden tan, which as I’ve mentioned here on the blog before, is a highly valued dose of vitamin D for me.

This contrasts sharply with Japanese beauty standards, which place high value on pale skin. In the summers, it’s not uncommon for me to be walking down the sidewalk sweating through my tank-top and shorts, as I pass by women wearing wide brimmed hats, long pants, parasols, and elbow-length gloves.

which probably explains that the sunscreen I was able to find in Japan before our trip was only SPF 15...
if everything is covered why would you need sunscreen too? Who am I kidding this was not the sunscreen's fault.

In summary, I’m saying is that people here do not go tanning. There are a few outsider trends that buck that blanket statement, like Ganguro girls, but by and large, tanning isn’t well-accepted by the public. And so, before going to Cancun, I did no pre-tan.

Sure, there are people out there who are capable of going on vacation in Cancun without having tanned beforehand, and who manage to not burn. I… have proven to not be one of those people.

Simply put, I didn’t add up the math - if I didn’t do any tanning before the trip, as I had done before every other trip I’ve taken to Cancun, then I should not use the same sun-screen mentality I’d used on those previous trips.

You see where this is going.

I burned.

I burned real bad.

On day 1.

as this picture was taken I was slowly turning a vibrant crimson.

Did you know if you give yourself bad enough sunburn that you get dizzy when you walk? You can’t eat? That aloe isn’t soothing but instead feels like you have doused yourself in lemon juice and salt? I didn’t go back outside to enjoy our all-inclusive beach resort for two days. I was a mess, and I deserved it for my own idiocy.

not a good look.

LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES. Use so much more sunscreen than you think you need. Get a higher number than you can count to. Apply so much more often than you think you do. Ugh, you know this. You actually listened to Baz Lurhman.

I can share, though, that if you’re going to a wedding ceremony and your sunburn has started to peel, you can put some coconut oil over the peely bits to make yourself not look like a shedding snake long enough for pictures to be taken. So that was good.

we cleaned up well, if not for being a bit pink. :)

I’m just about done peeling / fading from red to gold, and hopefully just about done having visions of making out with Cheesasaurus Rex. Now I just need to switch my head back from speaking Spanish into speaking Japanese again. Wish me luck!

today’s little language lesson:

me gustaría a matar un hombre para macaroni y queso de dinosaurios.

I would kill a man for macaroni & cheese dinosaurs.

tune in next time when I wrap up the Mexico trip by talking about bird pirates, actual (sort of) pirates, and why I’m not allowed anywhere near The Mister when negotiations are happening.