kRaZy wOrLd

Email ids of Bollywood stars:

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 09:50:00 +0000

Email ids often depict your total personality in itself. here are some bollywood celebs whose funny mail ids can read like this

Aishwarya – beauty.queen@budhi-hogi-teri-maa.com

Ameesha Patel – 36-36-36@desighee.com

Salman Khan – wanted.dabangg@ready.pk

Katrina – i.know.hindi@3-words-per-minute.com

Sonam Kapoor – chatterbox@100-tweets-per-hour.com

Dolly Bindra – stereophonic.sound@animal-planet.com

Rajnikant - google@rajnikant.com

Akshay Kumar – tees.maar.khan@pit-gayi.com

Tusshar Kapoor – aa.aa.ee.ee.oo.oo.uu.uu@ektakapoor.com

Uday Chopra – wannabe.romantic.hero@my-daddy-strongest?.com

SRK – loverboy@kkkkaranjohar.com

Deepika – tattoo.is.the.new.sindoor@koi-bhi-chaleg?a.com

Farah – 4give.me@srk.com

Ranbeer singh – sabki.band.bajaadi@superstar.com

Preity Zinta – dimple.queen@koi-nahi-poochta.com

Women English : UNcoded

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 10:11:00 +0000

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
13. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

mBin : mobile recycle bin

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 06:29:00 +0000

How many times have you deleted an sms and then instantly wanted to see it again and headed over to check in the non existent recycle bin on your mobile? Don’t you wish your phone had a recycle bin too?

Recycle bin is an important feature on our PCs , but sadly we don’t realize its importance . Having such a feature on mobile phones would be an interesting concept. So here I come up with an app idea which can be named mBin.

This app should have certain amount of phone memory assigned to it and store all deleted sms . The app should have a feature of auto delete older messages when memory is full. Other features like storing deleted songs and videos would be great too. Hope someone on intel will come up with such an app.

Check out the Intel® Atom™ Developer Program, if you are looking for an opportunity to build and monetize your applications. You can sell through Intel’s storefront – Intel AppUp Center. Intel has also set up a Million Dollar Development Fund to support developers who are looking at building innovative apps. For more details check out http://appdeveloper.intel.com/fund

Disclaimer: This blog post is an entry to Intel’s contest – My India App Story

Ovi maps: Helping my sis with her exams

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 12:16:00 +0000

I found out ovi maps was free and downloaded it on my n97, just to try it out or rather play with it. About a week later my sis(Hina) had her kannada exam and she lost her text book. She was all tears and created a huge mess at home trying to search for the book.

After lot of searching she still wasn’t able to locate her book, it was around 8: PM and she grew tearier with every passing minute. My mom tried explaining to her saying text book was not very important and she could study from her notes, but Hina being Hina just dint give in she was a class topper and dint take chances. She always believed in being perfect. I offered to borrow text from any friend of hers but she said all her friends have exams and so they will need the book too. Finally Mom called up dad asking him to pick up the 8th standard kannada book from any book store on his way back. But but it wasn’t the best of the days for my sister, dad was busy in a meeting and wouldn’t be back home atleast until 11:PM

Now me and mom had to locate a book store in my neighborhood. It wasn’t a difficult task but considering the fact that it was around 9:PM and finding an auto was not only difficult but also expensive ( in Bangalore after they charge double or one and half) it was going to be some job to get a new book. Just then the idea of google hit my head and a second later I realized I had ovi maps on my mobile. I got gps signals in 30 seconds and then I tracked my current location found there were not one not two but three different book stores all in my area. Not only that ovi maps also disclosed to me that two shops were at walk able distance. Ovi maps search feature is awesome it showed me the contact details too. So no extra time waste trying to google. I called up a shop found out they were closing for the day, then I called up the second book shop and he said he would be open for another hour.

And then I started following ovi maps directions got to the shop and rest as they say is HISTORY !
The search feature is perfect, digital compass is fantastic, having hindi as an option on voice navigation is like cherry on cake. The events and geotagging photos are other features I enjoy and use regularly now. Above all what I loved about ovi maps is its simple interface. It doesn’t take a big deal to get used to ovi maps i had no probs being a 1st time user, easy to use simple to understand and operate.

I always heard that “Best things in the world are free” and well ovi maps joining this free brigade gives free a very big new meaning.
So that was my ovi maps story

Bechare boys.......

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:17:00 +0000

LADKIYON KI KAHANI:
If v treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hai"
If v dont she says "kitna akarta hai"
If v dress nicely she says "mujhe impress karna chahta hai"
If v dont she says "tasteless hai yaar"
If v argue with her she says "ziddi hai"
If v sit quietly she says "dumb hai"
If v act smarter she'll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says "is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai"
If v love her she says "peechhe hi pad gayaa hai"
If v dont tell her ur prob she says " u r not honest 2 me"
If u do tell to her she says "u r a problem child"
If v scold her she says "you act like a grandpa giving lecture"
If she scolds us she says "Yaar, its becoz i care"
ladkiyan re ladkiya . .bechare boys

TAX: INDIA and its true but funny txing structure

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 05:40:00 +0000

Born free Taxed to Death........

Question 1 : What are you doing?
Ans : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 2 : What are you doing in Business?
Ans : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!

Question 3 : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI

Question 4 : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

Question 5: How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX

Question 6 : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory...
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

Question 7 : Do you have Office / Warehouse / Factory?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

Question 8 : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 9 : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes -- Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No -- Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

Question 10 : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

Question 11 : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX

Question 12 : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX

Question 13 : Have you taken or given any Services?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX

Question 14 : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX

Question 15.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX

Question 16 : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX

Question 17 : Have you purchased House?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE

Question 18 : How you Travel?
Ans : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE

Question 19.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX

Question 20: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY

21) INDIAN : Can I die now??
Ans : Wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!
(email forward)

Bechare Boys.........

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 05:54:00 +0000

LADKIYON KI KAHANI:
If v treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hai"
If v dont she says "kitna akarta hai"
If v dress nicely she says "mujhe impress karna chahta hai"
If v dont she says "tasteless hai yaar"
If v argue with her she says "ziddi hai"
If v sit quietly she says "dumb hai"
If v act smarter she'll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says "is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai"
If v love her she says "peechhe hi pad gayaa hai"
If v dont tell her ur prob she says " u r not honest 2 me"
If u do tell to her she says "u r a problem child"
If v scold her she says "you act like a grandpa giving lecture"
If she scolds us she says "Yaar, its becoz i care"
ladkiyan re ladkiya .

.bechare boys

Laloo gets a job in Microsoft Corporation......

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 08:36:00 +0000

after loosing out the elections - Shri. Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.

A few days later he got this reply:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,

You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks
Bill Gates
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.

He arranged a press conference : "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."

Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued... ... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? Par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ---- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet -----aap to miltay hee naheen ho
Our requirement -- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- AB Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
Shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks -- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva.

enjoy have fun n comment tooooooooooo

Please use your vote:

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 07:06:00 +0000

Salary & Govt. Concessions for a Member of Parliament (MP)
Monthly Salary : 12,000
Expense for Constitution per month :10,000
Office expenditure per month :14,000
Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per km) : 48,000( e.g. For a visit from kerala to Delhi & return: 6000 km)
Daily DA TA during parliament meets : 500/day
Charge for 1 class (A/C) in train: Free (For any number of times)(All over India )
Charge for Business Class in flights : Free for 40 trips / year (With wife or P.A.)
Rent for MP hostel at Delhi : Free
Electricity costs at home : Free up to 50,000 units
Local phone call charge : Free up to 1 ,70,000 calls.
TOTAL expense for a MP [having no qualification] per year : 32,00,000 [i.e.. . 2.66 lakh/month]
TOTAL expense for 5 years : 1,60,00,000
For 534 MPs, the expense for 5 years :8,54,40,00,000 (nearly 855 crores)
AND THE PRIME MINISTER IS ASKING THE HIGHLY QUALIFIED, OUT PERFORMING CEOs TO CUT DOWN THEIR SALARIES...
This is how all our tax money is been swallowed and price hike on our regular commodities. .........
And this is the present condition of our country:
855 crores could make their life livable !!
Think of the great democracy we have........ .........

PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO ALL REAL CITIZENS OF INDIA ....

HI FRIENDS VOTING ARE NEAR SO I M REQUESTING YOU FROM MY END FROM ALL OUR INDIA. PLEASE DO VOTE FOR A GOOD AND GREAT LEADER. PLZ DONT WASTE YOUR PRICELESS VOTE ON CORRUPT OR WRONG LEADER.

HUMME SE KISINAKISIKO SHURUAAT KARNI HOGI EK ACHE BHARAT KE LIYE...

(an email forward)

CHEMICAL LOVE LETTER

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 08:29:00 +0000

Hydrogen Tetraborate,

Carboxyl Road,

Propane

Dearest Alkali,

The day I saw you, there were sudden Chemical reactions within me involving phenolic and benzoic rings of love. Chemically, it was found that you were the reagent for the reaction. I wanted to convey my feeling that very day but since Aldehyde, Ketone and Ether were with you, I realized that the reaction conditions are unsuitable & you would show Chemical Inertness. So, I had to control the nuclear reactions of my mind using Cadmium rods.If according to first law of Love Dynamics, the following reaction: Heart(Miss Alkali in absolute privacy), Affection can be propagated, then meet me at Ammonium Restaurant, Butyl Road at 5 PM failing which I shall consume a mixture of H2SO4 + HNO3 + CH3COOH + C4H5ClNO3 +(C2H5)4Pb.

Yours Chemically,
Methanoic Acid

Movie titles related to students and exams:

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 14:23:00 +0000

The exams for 2nd PUC starting from the Friday 13th here are some movie title related to students

Exams: socha na tha,
Classes: kabhi kabhi,
Question papers: Na tum jano na hum,
Copying: Yaarana,
Maths1: Asambhav,
Maths2:Mission impossible,
1st semester: kuch to hai,
2nd semester: yeh kya ho raha hai,
Distinction: Kal ho na ho,
1st class: Raju ban gaya gentleman,
2nd class:Dil mange more,
Fail: Phir milenge..........!!!

BEST OF LUCK FOR YOUR EXAMS EVERYBODY.

Birth in Tech Age

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 08:57:00 +0000

Little Boy: Dad How was I Born?

Dad: Well, Son your Mom & I Got 2gther At Yahoo".

We Set up A Date Via "E-Mail" & Met In "Cyber Cafe"

your Mom Agreed 2 "Download Data" From My "Pen Drive".

Just When I Was About 2 "Transfer"

We Realized that Non Of Us Had "Installed" A "Firewall"

It Was 2 Late 2 hit "Delete".

9 Months Later A "Pop-up Window" Appeared Saying

"U Have Got A MALE"

I wanna tell you something !!!!

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 13:55:00 +0000

Aaj main tumse 1 baat kahana chahta hu
ye baat main tab
se hi kahana
chahta tha jab se maine
tumhe pahala scrap bheja tha i.e.
jab tum meri frndlist me add hui thi
par tab himmat nahi ho
pai aur fir darata tha
ki tum naraj ho jaogi
ya fir mujse baat nahi karogi
ya fir mujse dosti nahi karogi
jo me nahi chahta tha
par ab me aapne aap
ko nahi rok sakta tum se yah kahane
se ki..............
par 1 baat aur plzzz narazzz na hona
kam se kam javab jaroor dena
mujhse baat karana mat chor dena
aur scrap karana bhi
badi muskil se kah pa raha hu
wo baat jo 1 insaan apni jindagi me shayad hi kisi se kah pata hoga
kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
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MELODY ITNI CHOCKLATI KYO HOTI HAI ??

You decide - confused Girls

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 14:05:00 +0000

Girls You decide what we do .............
Men: Then we just go home
Women: You decide
Men: Let take bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don’t want
Men: Ok we will take Taxi
Women: Not worth it… for such a short distance
Men: Alright, then we walk. Take a slow walk
Women: What to walk with empty stomach woh?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let’s have dinner first
Women: Whatever…
Men: Eat what?
Women: Anything

Confused aren't they these girls!!!!

Exams again and again why?????????

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 12:13:00 +0000

Hum jeete ek bar hai,
marte ek bar hai,
pyar ek bar hota hai,
aur shaadi bhi ek hi bar hoti hai...
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TO fir ye ..
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EXAMS BAAR-BAAR
KYUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a happy and safe valentines day

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 08:00:00 +0000

Safety first!!!!

HI everybody have a safe valentines day

Reputed IT companies and their funny full forms

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 11:34:00 +0000

1.NIIT : Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems
6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds
8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings
12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible
13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers
15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go
17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.
18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India
19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.

Why do students fail in exams...?

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 10:31:00 +0000

It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.. Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing)-means 30days. Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days Days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.

10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days. 1 day left.

11. That 1 day is ur birthday. How can you study on your B'day??
Balance = 0 "How can a student pass

SHORT LOVE STORY

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 14:49:00 +0000

There was a Blind Girl
*WhO Hate Herself
*cOz Of being Blind She Hate every1
*Except her Boy friend
*1 day de Girl said
*that if She can
*Only c the wOrld
*she will marry her bOyfriend
*One day sOme1
*dOnated eyes On her
*& then she saw Every thing
*including her bOyfriend
*her bOyfriend ask her
*"nOw that u can c
*will u Marry Me
*the girl was shOcked when
*she saw her bOyfriend
*is alsO Blind
*& she refuse tO Marry him
*Her bOyfriend walk away
*with Tears & said
*" just take care Of
*my eyes dear."

Reccession and cost cutting

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 14:49:00 +0000

Alibaba Aur 40 Chor The,
Ab
Alibaba Aur 30 Chor Ho Gaye.
Batao Kyun ?
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Recession Boss !
10 Chor Ko Nikal Diya.......................
COST CUTTING

Its a Man's world BUT Girls Rock

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 12:46:00 +0000

When a girl cries - "The world consoles her"
But when a boy cries - " Come on man dont be a girl"
If a girl slaps a boy - "Boy has done the mistake"
If a boy slaps a girl - "Rascal does'nt know how to respect ladies"
If a boy talks to girls - "He is flirting "
If a girl is talking to boys - "She is friendly"
If a girl meets with an accident - "Then its the mistake of others"
If a boy meets with an accident - "Bloody you dont know how to drive"
Still people say - "IT'S A MAN'S WORLD"
But GIRLS ROCK.....!!!!!

Rules and principles for students

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 09:02:00 +0000

5 Rules for students

Never make noise in class because it disturbs others who are sleeping
.Be absent to keep campus clean.
Take some fruits for animals in the staff room.
Always take bags because it acts like a pillow.
Never be early to class otherwise no one will notice you...!!!

5 Principles of students life:

Love your bed , it is your temple
Relax in the day so that you can sleep at night
Dont do something omorrow that you can do day after
tomorrow
If you feel like studying sit down and wait till the feeling
goes away.
Dont forget that studying is healthy so leave it for sick
people.

5 Points to prove that you are a normal student

Unnecessary talk on the phone
Plan each day to study but at the end of the day "kal se pakka"
You have all notes but study one day before the exam.
Right now you are thinking of forwarding this to all your friends.
On each point you smiled because its true..!!!

School life Vs College life

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 08:18:00 +0000

School: 1 colored dress for 100s of days
College: 100 colored dresses for 1 day
School: 2 note books for 1 subject
College: 1 notebook for all subjects
School: white pipe in teacher's hand (chalk)
College: white pipe in student's hand (cigarette)
School: Most frequent letter-Leave letter
College: Most frequent letter - Love letter
School: if we go itz boring
college :if we dont go its boring
SO ENJOY !!!

handling INDIA me alone!!!

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 17:37:00 +0000

LETS SEE..............
Population of india : 100 crore
9 crore retired
30 crore in state Govt;
17 crore in central Govt.(Both categories don't work)
1 crore IT professional (don't work for India )
25 crore in school
1 crore are under 5 years
15 crore unemployed
1.2 crore u can find anytime in hospitals
Statistics says u find 79,99,998 people anytime in jail
The Balance two are U & Me.
U are busy ' reading blogs.. '..!!
HOW CAN I HANDLE INDIA alone?

apple apple apple

noreply@blogger.com (zooni) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 17:29:00 +0000

join Laughter challangBanta class mein - madam maine “abc” yaad karli..
Madam -ok ,
to sunao..Banta - abcdefghijklemnopqrstuvwxyz…..
Madam - arey aise nahi ….
aise suna A for apple
Banta - ok madam….
A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
H for hazar apple
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaani hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple
V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for X’mas mei bhii Hi! khana padenge apple
Y for yun na chehra phero dekhkey apple
z for zara sa to khalo apple
plzzzz comment