K.Renee's Blog Spot

I'm Back!!!

2012-01-19T21:13:00.000-05:00

OMG! Okay, I am not too keen on the anacronym OMG, but it seemed appropriate in this instance. It's been several days and weeks since I've signed in on my blog to share anything - in fact, it has been months, so as I sit here on my bed, watching the SC Republican debate on CNN, a wave of creative energy has come over me to get on and write something,so here I am - at the top of January(or the middle)excited, prepared and full of purpose and vision.

Oh, how I have missed my blog and sharing with you all my thoughts and inspirations. And unlike so many others,the internet is a friend to me, and I appreciate it. It certainly affords so many the opportunity to participate in this forum of debate and advocacy of whatever issue we appreciate, and it also permits such a well needed outlet to display my own creations. Whether it is a video or a piece of writing, the space to share is wonderful! In coming weeks, there will be posts and updates featured to bring you guys up to date concerning the new and challenging things I've been up to in the last six months, so stay tuned. As I sit here typing this last paragraph while watching The Braxton Family Values(I needed a break from the CNN debate), I bring my closing thoughts to a close. This will not be my most centered or thought out work, as I am coming straight off the top, but it will be real.

Looking forward to more with you all....

Update

2011-08-25T16:35:00.001-04:00

Wow! It's been a very long time since I've actually sat down to this desk and written something on my blog. I've been so out of touch with this particular part of my writing and blogging, but feel the need to UPDATE if you will allow me to do so.
I've continued to write a little bit more, here and there, along with reading just about everything I can get my hands on. A writer I'm quite fond of advised me this way: Listen and don't talk, read everything you can get your hands on and write a little everyday. I agree with his advice and find myself consciously looking for ways to 'word color' everyday. Word color? Well, quite simply, this term means to bring the words and meditations of my heart to life on paper. The pen writes and the soul will interpret. Often I say, my mind sees the images and colors and I simply put them down on paper. And while I'm not so sure where and how this journey will lead me, I feel so much better when I allow myself the space and creativity to sojourn to the secret place in me that pours out in black and white for all to see.
Today's piece is an update. An update for me. An update for you. A reminder to all to remain relevant. Disciplined and true to that which your soul cries out for. I'm not sure what kind of writer I am. Fictional, editorial, commentatary, etc. I'm just not sure....yet! It doesn't mean I'm confused, nor does it suggest I'm not serious about this craft. For me, it simply means I haven't figured it out yet, but I'm on my way.
As I write, even now, I remind myself to be secure in the place of 'doing'. It's good to be mobile and actively securing one's place in the world, no matter how long it takes. Days, months, years-keep on updating the resume, the portfolio, the book. The progress will manifest in due season.

K.Renee (off the top)

Prayer and Faith Go Together.

2011-06-15T17:00:00.000-04:00

For My Sisters 2: mother daughter prayer brunch

2011-05-24T19:11:00.000-04:00

For My Sisters: Mother Daughter Prayer Brunch

2011-05-24T19:10:00.000-04:00

For My Sisters: Mother Daughter Prayer Brunch

2011-05-24T19:08:00.000-04:00

Saturday Nite Late Night Vlogging w/Tye

2011-01-23T22:10:00.000-05:00

December 31, 2010

2010-12-31T00:32:00.001-05:00

Well, it's the last day of the year and what have I accomplished in 2010. What are my highs and what are my memories for my lows. It's a question that usually resonates with me at the close of each year as we pass into the next. Too often I find myself doing the proverbial "Am I making progress or growing" or "Is my life making a difference".
These sentiments, as I search my heart and soul, help me to look inside of me. To see the woman I really am - honest and without bias, realizing all my faults, strengths and flaws. You see, truly I look within and I see all those things that really should be addressed...need improvement in...and parts that need a little, oh let's just say, fine-tuning. Fortunately, I don't mind being candid with me, and I can accept personal criticism. However; knowing and applying the changes are not the same thing. In fact, one can be done without ever committing to change.
Is this the goal of our reflections? Or do we look within ourselves with the intent of making changes that will cause us to grow?
Personally, I think we all desire personal growth and challenge ourselves to reach the goals we set before us. Certainly it would not be fruitful to daydream and hope for change, yet never set in place the necessary tools to gain the promises for which we hope. So, as we all enter into the new year; a year and days we've yet to occupy, may we all dare to dream. Dare to dream big, and in color. But as we dream, may we remember that all of our desires and goals need to be fed. They must be given the nurturing needed to stay alive, for if the light goes out, then we cannot see what is in front of us. The vision becomes fuzzy and difficult to figure out. Oh but if we keep a log in the fire, we will always be able to find our way through and to the place we're trying to go. The way may get dim at times, and we may get distracted as we attempt to go forward, but never stop moving. Commit to the process and press your way.
I'll be pressing mine...

Happy New Year~

Life Lessonz 46 w/Katbalu

2010-11-12T20:07:00.000-05:00

The Struggle Continues

2010-11-03T12:11:00.002-04:00

The Conscious Room

THE STRUGGLE CONTINUES:

The Glen Beck rally is today at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. Incidentally, today marks the anniversary of the march on Washington and the Dr. King 'I Have A Dream' speech which is remembered and recognized as the Civil Rights call to action. The call to a racist and prejudiced America that excluded Black Americans and failed to yield(not give)to our civil rights, our inalienable, God given rights to BE.
Well, this speech by the late Dr. King is recognized around the world to be one of inclusion for all people. It was a clarion call to White America that we weren't going away, we were going to fight for our rights; but it was also a summons to everyone, near and far, that we were a people-strong and proud. Willing to continue on in the struggle, standing on the front line, making the march to freedom, all while singing and holding hands. It was a movement.
A righteous movement of people, both rich and poor. Black and white. A unified body of folk who saw the injustices of a nation that looked the other way while Black boys were hanged and killed for seemingly looking at a White woman. I'm talking about a nation that refused to honor their own constitution to afford every citizen the right to freedom and liberty and justice for all. This movement was birthed in churches, governed by men and women who were tired of being mistreated and denied their God given freedom to simply live in a world and have harmony with one another, despite the color of their skin.
This is what Dr. Martin Luther King preached about. Yes, he was a preacher. He proclaimed, inspired and informed a nation of people,here and abroad of the ills of a society that consciously held their heads low as little brown girls were bombed having Sunday School in a church in Alabama.
This was a movement.
So, on this day,a day marked with pride,honor and legacy. Glen Beck, a satirical commentator masquerading as an intelligent news forum, will take center stage, along with other far right wing figures, and proclaim his message. He claims he didn't know this was the day Dr. King gave his speech; nevertheless, he is going forward with a march. a Tea Party march on Washington. This 'movement' is one of exclusion, of political mainlining and of separatism.
It's a dangerous movement.
There are people/figures in politics and news today that can be what one might call 'polarizing'. Simply stated, it suggest that there are those who can, with the politics and public opinion, become extreme. A place where a voice of moderation can be drowned out and overlooked. The louder the bark, the more extreme the group becomes.
These groups, in my opinion, are bred in small town meetings, backyard barbqueues, and even in the halls of Washington. They create an atmosphere of hostility and anger which ultimately, if left alone with no interference, will explode.
The difference with the civil rights groups of former and even now. I believe they were inclusive. It wasn't about bashing the government or figures in general. It was about correcting injustices. Both political and social, but primarily social. As the social injustices began to become corrected and eradicated, the politics began to improve. Doors became open so that people of color and of different backgrounds could enter in and begin to institute change. the type of change that allowed a black man to sit on the highest court in the land. The kind of change that opened the doors for a wave of black mayors, judges and lawyers. The kind of change that even now allows the nation to have it's first Black president in the land of the 'free'.
All born from the movement.
I'm all for free speech. All should be able to exercise their 'rights'. Yeah,yeah,yeah...but my concern is this. If an organization is not drawing people together for the common good of all, if it is promoting isolation and aligning itself with agendas that promote hate, anarchy and revolt, then this 'organization' is potentially threatening the welfare of 'all'.
It may be creating a dangerous movement.
One that doesn't capture the minds and hearts of the many, but of only a few...

On this day, I choose to remember the legacy of a man and of a people who tirelessly fought for the people. With conviction and honor, Dr. King fought. His comrades in the movement who walked with him, ate with him, went to jail with him....in the name of the struggle...I salute YOU on today.
In 2010, I look around me as I allow myself to think on the things that have happened, and of the things, I've been taught about my history, our history, American history. We've come so far, but so much more can be done.
May we never forget the struggle. It continues. Be responsible with your words. Don't 'lay down your religion', walk in your truths and in your beliefs. Teach our children. Be good examples..don't lie, don't pimp, don't forget.....never forget....
Our people are relying on us.....

Selah

Why won't YOU VOTE? Truth To Power

2010-11-03T10:59:00.000-04:00

I get so angry when I think of the millions of people who didn't bother to get up and go vote yesterday. As I listened to the news and watched the polls report in last night, my mind drifted back to the two young people who sit across from me at work. When I enthusiastically asked them whether or not they were going to vote tonight in the election, the young lady responded with a resounding "I'm not registered". Her answer to me seemed to echo ignorance to the tenth power. As I looked at this young, black sister who was a single mother who catches the bus to work everyday to work a part time job, I felt such a sense of sadness in my belly. I immediately thought of all the black women and black men who had given their lives, their time and their heart to the cause of civil rights. I dare not forget about the countless other men and women of other races and creeds who bravely stood with our freedom fighters, as they crossed lines of discrimination and prejudice accompanied with Jim Crow. How could she be so casual about the right to vote? The importance of exercising your voice to power. Truth to power.
How sad it is to live in ignorance. Ignorance to the conditions and social injustices around you that you can have a part in changing when you become involved with the process of change. One voice can make a difference.
If Martin had never answered his call to lead, to speak truth to power, where would the civil rights struggle have been? One voice makes a difference.
What about 21 year old James Chaney of Mississippi who was killed along with Andrew Goodman and Michael Schwerner for daring to speak truth to power. Even the intense, volatile climate of the tumultuous 60's and Jim Crow couldn't stop these brave young men from getting involved in the democratic process. To use their voice, and death, to make a difference.
It is your duty to vote. You owe it to the many people who have come before you who paid their dues with their sweat and blood, so that you can even have the luxury to sit, wherever you want to sit, on the bus. You owe it to them!
The struggle continues people and we must never forget that a price was paid for all of us. Bro. Martin said 'injustice anywhere, is injustice everywhere'. For you and I that simply means we can't sit idly by and hope that good people will do what's right by and for us. We must be involved. Regardless of your flavor of politics, the indifference with even making a decision and demonstrating it with your vote, is the loudest cry you can make. It speaks volumes about what you believe, and the amount of appreciation and respect you have for the movement of people who have given so much, to receive back so little.
Make a difference.
Until yesterday, I don't believe I've ever felt as strongly about getting the vote out before. I guess since I'd never really had a conversation with an individual who so utterly opposed the right to vote, I had become somewhat removed from the idea that so many people are not involved. Ever since I was of the legal age to vote, I've participated in the electoral process. It was something I was taught to do. My parents voted, theirs did too. My siblings do as well. We believe in the process. So, when I talked with my co-workers yesterday and listened to them express their indifference to the right of every citizen exercising his right to vote, I became saddened.
If you grew up in the 70's like I did, you might remember the commercial that used to come on where they showed a Native American riding around on a horse looking at how the land and the rivers and agriculture had been destroyed? It was a poignant, humbling reflection of how America(ans)had destroyed the land once reverenced and kept, and honored, by the Native Americans. Iron Eyes Cody shed a tear at the end of the commercial as he saw the outcome and result of what had become of the land so many of his people had died fighting for.
In my own way, I identified with him. My heart felt remorse and it ached as I wished I could incite in these people the importance in using your voice to power.
It is my opinion, that the younger people don't find the history of our day to be as important as some of us older ones who can still remember some things from the former years. I remember hearing James Brown sing/scream "Say it loud, I'm black and I'm proud". As a young girl, that playing on WJMO helped to mobilize and instill in me an affirmation that I am somebody. The blowouts and afro's. Yeah, I remember them. They symbolized an attitude and helped to represent an attitude to a movement of a people. A people who were saying "I'm here. I am not going to not be heard". The Black Panther Party, The Black Muslims, The NAACP, etc. They were all very prevalent in my younger years growing up, so I have a surge in my spirit that is in alignment with the cause, the movement and the struggle to uplift, educate and liberate the people.
Strong people formed these organizations. People with a desire to see changes in our communities and our laws and more opportunities for our children and families.
It is my strong desire to become an active participant in helping to get out the vote in the next election. To remind young people of why it is important to vote and to not forget those who have paved the way, that you might have the right to vote.
It's that simple-never forget. Never become complacent. It's not over....yet.
Make a difference and speak truth to power

Loc and product talk for hair-Garnier Fructis

2010-10-13T15:44:00.000-04:00

2010-10-11T14:48:00.002-04:00

Reflections

What Image Do You See?

It takes all kinds of women to epitomize what real beauty looks like. Tall and short. Long hair or short hair. Dark skin or light skin and all the hues in between.

Of course, I'm referring to external attributes now, and unfortunately, there are those who equate physical beauty to be far more superior to the inner beauty that a woman may possess.What is the fullness of beauty? True fairness is not something that's painted on or shaped by a window dresser.
Christian Dior and Prada only dress the shell of the woman,and while her outer appearance may look stellar to some. To others, the genuine grace of her true beauty is overlooked. The heart of her soul can't speak. It has no eyes, no hips and no form. From behind, whose concerned about her heart?When she enters the room, with no words to spare, who sees her heart and recognizes her worth?
Wow, we've all heard the old saying 'beauty is in the eyes of the beholder'. Old right? But the fact of the matter is that this same old, outdated cliche of sorts really holds true.
It isn't the apparel,nor is it the roundness and fullness of her hips.
It is the authentic confidence that goes before the woman who says with nothing more than a 'hello', I'm here and I'm beautiful.
The looks mean little. The genuine beauty and authority she possesses speaks volumes and her quiet spirit never boasts or competes with anyone else's. She's decisive and assured.Her attitude and confidence speaks for her. The richness of her smile, the way she holds her head. Her assuredness in self and of who she is makes her approachable.
Her confidence is attractive. Her self esteem is inviting.
The boldness of her walk and the rivers of wisdom that flow from her belly speak to souls and hearts. She's charming and exquisite at the same time.

In the presence of this kind of sister; I recognize a familiar spirit. Graceful and comforting...
Simple and uncomplicated...she exudes beauty and grace.

As I grow older and prayerfully wiser, it is my heart's desire to always seek after the simple, pure things. So much value is often placed on the outer package, the exterior and shell of a thing. But I say this, a quiet spirit is pleasing before the Lord. It is, to simply put it, attractive.
Full of grace, wisdom and self control. That's true beauty. The heart will speak loudly, even in a room full of people, "beauty is me".

2010-10-11T14:45:00.003-04:00

Who Am I?

So many spend their entire lives trying to answer this question. Who am I and what am I here for.
I spent many years trying to figure this question out for myself. Shedding the exterior person I allowed the world to see was humbling, painful, yet liberating all at the same time.
   I was a shy, almost scary little girl who found a safe place as the middle child in a family of three never once stepping outside of character growing up in Cleveland. Growing up in a middle class, blue collar family was easy, as I never had much to do in terms of creating my own space. It was all done for me. My father was the breadwinner and my mother was fortunate enough to be able to be a homemaker. I believe I was almost 13 years old before my mother became a full time employee in the workforce. I say that to say this. I always had a voice of instruction and direction growing up. I can't remember too well coming in from school and not having my mom home. Rules I had to follow. Expectations and reason was the foundation for which I was reared. Growing up, I understood the basics about going to church, and I had a rich understanding that God was central in my upraising. My grandmother's presence was in my life, even though she lived miles away in another state, I had the privilege of having the love of not only a mother, but a grandmother. Rich legacies and stories I was told growing up, and even as I think back now on them, I have a fondness in my spirit. A longing to never,ever forget the things my people shared with me about their lives, their history. They taught me about family, about the struggle, and most importantly, they taught me of faith. Faith to believe, faith to trust and the faith to do them both in God. You see, we all can have faith. Faith simply means we have a strong hope in something, but my grandmother, my mother, my people...they helped me to channel that hope and trust in God. God almighty. To this day, and through it all, I've learned to trust in God.
   Life was relatively simple then. I follow the rules and my life would fall in place, so I thought.
I never stepped outside of character to do anything that would be considered unacceptable in my mother's eyes, I was a 'good girl'. While being a 'good girl', I suppose there was always an urge in me to want to experience other things. I could look around me and see my peers able to do things and go places I wasn't permitted to go, and I suppose the idea that I was 'missing something' disturbed me. Nevertheless, I kept my mouth closed and went along with the program.
   I did that all too well until I began to stretch my person a little more as I stepped into young adulthood. Living the sheltered life of a suburbanite who only really saw other people who looked like me, and lived like me; I was completely overwhelmed when I discovered that there was another world outside of my close knit community. A world that existed not far from me in demographics, but far in social status and lifestyles.
Rarely did I see people who didn't have a mother AND a father in the home. It was uncommon for me to live in an apartment, as I'd always lived in a home and had always had access to cars, plenty of food and new clothes whenever I needed them. There was abundance, not lack. My father worked long, hard, hours in the steel mills, and at that time, those workers were paid very, very well. And let me take this time to honor and recognize him for his labor. My dad worked tirelessly to support and take care of his wife and children. A responsibility so few men will honor today; however, he did it without complaining. My mom was working by this time too, so truly, my needs and my wants as well, were satisfied.
Even with all of these blessings I took for granted,my curiosity for how the other half lived was enticing. I longed to know what it felt like to be able freely come and go as I pleased with no one to answer to. Through my virgin eyes, I wondered what it was like to be able to come home after school and have boys over and your girls over to 'chill'. I saw the 'cool kids' smoking and some drinking and participating in other activities and while I didn't have a place in that set, I witnessed the lifestyle all around me. My older sister was a part of that world, so I was able to see the realities of it all in a more pure way, and I swore I'd never be 'like that'. My plans were to go to college, graduate and to live a fabulously, enriching, make my mama proud life, but it didn't work out that way.
   I'd been home from college about one year when I began to become intertwined into a world of drugs,nightlife and illicit behavior.I suppose in some sick way, I was trying to find myself, but my desire to 'fit in' only fueled the negative attractions I had for that world that ate me up and spit me back out.
While a portion of my close friends remained the same, a new and different breed entered in. This new set of 'friends' helped to expose my shallow and uneducated mind to a new and seemingly exciting world of living the life. Fast cars, lots of people who seemed to be in the know and plenty of 'party favors' were the order of the day. No real job, nobody to really answer to because I'm' grown' now, and yet still, the same little girl is inside trying to figure out 'where do I fit in all this madness'.
   Life in this manner raged on in a spiral of up's and down's for a span of about 15 years. During the course of that time, I'd lost some friends, lots of money and the most humbling thing I'd lost was my dream to succeed. My self respect was in the gutter and the fire that once burned within, seemed to have flickered to an all time low. The future I'd once envisioned I could have appeared to be dead, and I no longer felt connected to the place that once seemed so familiar to me. I'd lost my hope.
   Who am I? That question remained with me...even as I walked through the valley of the shadow of doubt. That question presented itself to me-over and over again. I remembered who my mother told me I was. My childhood memories were still able to bring a smile to me and could always stir me up, but the bruises and the knicks and cuts from the world told me otherwise. Little did I know that the valley experiences, for which I felt so much pain from, were defining and shaping who I was. Who I AM.
You see, I began to understand and to realize, the person who was experiencing all the pain, the suffering, the remorse..she was being shaped and formed. Someone who once had so little understanding about 'the other half' was now learning how to 'live' life. She was coming to terms with the humbling experience of having to do without and of how to 'ask' for help. My inner person was being shown how to feel, how to love, how to be alone, how to admit failure and yet press forward; how to be inspired and purposeful and how to have a personal relationship with God. The shell I'd lived in for years, I at last learned how to love and appreciate just as I was. Those experiences, the failures and the pitfalls helped me to become more sensitive to others and they, more importantly, are responsible for leading me to the full and complete understanding that I am a spirit being, loved by a God-the only wise God; Who with precise definition created me to BE here at this time and in this place, spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally. Created with purpose and destiny-complete in Him, lacking nothing. Able to look on ALL that has happened with appreciation realizing that He has allowed all things to be that He might be glorified in them. And so HE IS in my life.
   I am without a doubt certain that the person I am is ever developing into a more richer, more loving, more sensitive, more purposeful woman with so many gifts and strengths.
With each day, I pray that I will continue to love who I am, and who God has called me to be; walking in harmony with His will and His plan. Not bucking against it, but willingly embracing the person I am.
Grateful I am for the wonderful examples I have in my life, and for those who have gone on. My beloved mother has gone to sleep, but her presence is felt often. Her teachings, her smile, her strength....it will always resonate with me. My father...his conviction, his laboring spirit, his loyalty to his family..I learn so much from my parents. My sister, while four years apart in age, she and I embody our mother in looks. We each carry our own stick. My brother, his quietness, his ability to remember every little thing..I smile as I type and think of how well he can remember the year it was when a particular event comes to mind.
They are my people. My family, my connections to my past.
It is such a blessing to be able to share these things and to have no regret about where my life has taken me and from whence I've come. The tenacity, the fortitude, the victory!
It was all necessary to help 'make' me who I Am.
Selah

2010-10-10T21:18:00.004-04:00

Love Is The Undisturbed Balance

2010-10-05T20:10:00.000-04:00

Love Is The Undisturbed Balance

Following The Dream

2010-09-02T14:18:00.002-04:00

Off The Top..Somethin Like A Freestyle

2010-08-12T19:52:00.000-04:00

When I feel like I do

I can find a

place

to steal away

Be still, be quiet,

flow in the moment,

If I feel like Musiq singing in my ears

it's cool

maybe a little Bob to trigger the militant in

Perhaps I might vibe a little more

and

wake up the chick who used to like to ride or die

Ambitious As A Ridah

Tupac, you're missed

Or maybe

I'll find peace, resolution in the

Psalms

They call me to a Higher Place

Selah

I feel me

today

the mysteries of my soul

unwind

the depths of my mind

unfold

to make room for

discovery

SELAH

Beautiful black women with locs

2010-08-06T10:50:00.000-04:00

Natural and Free......Freedom TO BE ME

2010-08-05T15:18:00.068-04:00

Freedom to be ME

I honestly believe only those who have entered into the 'natural community' truly understand the liberating feeing that comes along with embracing and celebrating our natural beauty and hair. For so many years, I was a slave to the creamy crack. I HAD to perm my edges, I HAD to get at that 'kitchen' in the back, and I HAD to have my roots layed down as not to show an inch of crinkle or curl.

How frustrating it became to me over the years to constantly reverse what my natural curl pattern was trying to do. I was born with this crinkle, with this curl. The question began to occur to me over time "why must you relax your hair-what is wrong with your natural hair". That thought resonated with me until I finally did the big chop in 1999 for the last time.I'd done it some years before, but being the slave to the box of Dark and Lovely or whatever else was on sale, I had to have a texturizer in it, so I wasn't completely natural.

Anyway, after watching my conscious brothers and sisters rock their locs, their dreds, their teeny weeny afro's, I decided to lay outside the temptation to relax and to walk into the freedom and calling of celebrating my natural curl. So many times, I wanted to throw the perm away or put away the extensions, but there was a part of me that felt like I'd be less attractive, less beautiful if I did. All the magazines and the popular television shows and video's depicted women of color with long flowing bone straight hair and weaves and attachments. Rarely would I find a woman sporting an afro, a twist out or a puff, and hardly ever would I see a sister wearing her hair adorned with her natural beautiful locs unless it was specifically called for.

As a member of the reggae community and live music scene that thrived in Cleveland in the late 80's and 90's, I knew well many of them on the set who had been liberated for years. I admired them and celebrated their independence, their willingness to not conform and fit in to the norm of what was considered beautiful or acceptable. I respected that.

For some, they did it because it was a cosmetic statement. It looked good or it was low maintenance; easy to take care of. For others, it involved more specific, more intense and personal reasons. I fit into the latter category.

The call to my naturalness was one that was born out of a need to be transformed. It was a pulling on my spirit that continued to whisper in my ear..'the time is now'.

My becoming one with self meant forsaking a lifestyle; one that was unhealthy and unfruitful and aligning myself with the me that I believed God was calling me into.

Harmony within and abroad.Wholeness and cleanliness. It was during this time of a re-birthing of sorts that I began to read and study the scriptures with more passion and diligence. A specific passage which spoke to me with great emphasis can be found in the 6th chapter of the Book of Numbers, The Law of the Nazarite. The vows the Nazarites took in devotion to God were of great sacrifice, but willingly taken nonetheless. Of the vows they swore to live by, one included not cutting the locs of their hair. Abstaining from strong drink and living a clean life were things I were striving to do. Being a smoker for several years meant that I needed to remove that and 'other' toxic things from my life. The call I felt on me to walk away 'from' and 'into' a new life was fueled by my desire to please God and part of that for me meant throwing the comb away and allowing the part of me that wanted to encompass all of what I'd found in the past to be ugly, unappreciated and unworthy to be FREE.

I gave up smoking,drinking and a lifestyle of toxic behavior and relationships. I also began the journey of locking my hair. That was in 2002.

I've not ever regretted the decision.

The freedom I have is immeasurable. The love I have for self is overflowing and the journey to discovering it all has been enriching. Oh how I appreciate the journey, the ride...

Any sister who has made that decision and walks in the liberty of loving her self, her body, her hair, her natural self..can understand the freedom I write about; for to fully comprehend these things, a level of acceptance and self appreciation has to be made. Coming to terms with the kinks, excuse the pun, the issues, the isms and schisms, etc, all of which can keep us from developing into the beautiful loving creatures we're meant to be.

Self awareness keeps us honest and makes us accountable. When I look at the ends of these locs, it reminds me of where I've come from and of the progress I've made.

It has been good. It has been fruitful...

Selah

Yeah Im talkin to you

2010-08-03T13:46:00.003-04:00

When I did this video back in October of 2009, I had not planned, nor had I rehearsed any of what I was going to say. The words and expressions I used, the flow and the rhythm; they all came together as I spoke and recorded.I suppose it was born out of my own experiences really.
In hindsight when I watch this over and over again, I am reminded of why this seemed to speak to so many women. It spoke to me.
This person is our friend, she's our sister. She is our cousin and our neighbor. This woman could be our niece or our mother. I don't believe 'she' is the 'every woman' Chaka Khan was referring to.

It's personal....Yeah, I'm talkin to YOU! It's about relationships and cycles of emotion all weaved together and sealed with good intentions, oozing with confusion.
The toxic love relationship satisfies for a time,
The love affair with food satisfies for a time...
Even the nonreciprocating relationships with each other, satisfy for a time,
but ultimately, each one of us really desires and hopes in those things that will bring real and genuine fulfillment. Not temporary moments of affection.

YouTube - With This Pen

2010-08-03T12:05:00.000-04:00

YouTube - With This Pen: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

FOLLOWING THE DREAM

2010-08-02T00:04:00.000-04:00

There are things that happen in each of our lives that can,if we are in tune with our true being, be life defining moments.
Our choices and / or the decisions we make can result in whether or not you or I realize the potential our lives have.
What prevents one from walking in the purpose for which they're called?
Does fear deny the hungry soul from pursuing and owning the desires of his heart?
Are you bound by the opinions and perceptions of what 'they' say?
The answers to these questions may not easily be answered with an absolute Yes or No.
I am certain there are reasons you never attempted to be the model you wanted to be.
And I'm sure..you probably wouldn't have made it as a professional sports figure..
And yes, nobody would've probably ever purchased your book......
*TIME* *TIME**TIME*
An inner still voice ringing out in the distance says.......
Follow Your Dream........Follow Your Dream.......