Kringlish Kids

The Stone Boy Alternate Ending 1

2011-07-21T11:58:00.000+09:00

Towards the end of the semester, I taught my favorite short story "The Stone Boy" to my second graders. Out of all the activities we did involving the story, my favorite was the creative writing assignment of writing an alternate ending to the story.

The following takes place right after Arnold accidentally shot and killed his brother Eugie...

Arnold turned Eugie's body up. He was bleeding from his forehead. And at that moment, Arnold saw a miracle. "Did you shoot me?" Eugie was alive and speaking in an absolutely normal voice!

"Eugie?" Arnold said with wide eyes. His brother brushed his bangs with his hand--it was like the toenail of an animal--and stared at Arnold desperately.

"Okay. Here's my 10-year-old secret. I'm warning you. Don't say anything." Surprised, Arnold just shook his head." Eugie washed away the pool of blood on the ground with a bucket of water. He finished cleaning the site; Arnold felt like a criminal at the site of a crime. Eugie turned around, and stared at Arnold again. His eyes were dark red. "Listen, my brother, I am a vampire. It happened ten years ago. That summer, under the punishing sunlight, I was bitten and caught by someone in the shadows. You know them. They are our mom and dad"

Arnold felt confused. He said and did nothing. And when the brothers came back home, the parents saw Arnold become a stone boy.

Be awesome...

2011-07-14T10:33:00.001+09:00

...and support me and the Emmanuel Orphanage in South Korea. I'll be there volunteering for a week in August, so the more money KKOOM raises, the better the experience will be for the kids. Be sure to click on the DICRISPINO link.

http://kkoom.org/?p=115

Long overdue update

2011-07-13T16:36:00.003+09:00

Sorry. It's been a rather busy couple of months. Here's something that started off really strong...

First, it is necessary for our society to know that mental treatment is not a big deal. For example, in Korea, people will give you a weird look if you have mental counseling. However, as far as I know, it is a common thing to go to a psychiatrist in the United State. Therefore, Koreans must acknowledge that mental ailments are just a disease that can be treated with drugs.

My first vlog

2011-05-26T15:01:00.004+09:00

Watch me make a fool of myself

Flash Freeze

2011-05-20T11:32:00.002+09:00

I still don't know when I'll get around to kickoff my new youtube channel, but here's something to hold you over. I participated in a Flash Mob at Insadong in Seoul. You can see me with my camera at 0:33!

Boundaries

2011-05-17T11:25:00.001+09:00

As I have made clear in the past, Korean children have very few boundaries. For example, today my students had a medical check. I was alone in the classroom waiting for them to return and slowly 3 boys trickled in. I knew I wasn't going to be able to teach a lesson, so I just chillaxed with them.

Suddenly, without saying a word, one of them drops trou and takes off his shirt. After stripping to his doremon boxers, he then process to change into his trainer uniform because PE was his next class.

On another note, I have just started a new youtube channel. I plan to be making so videos as well, so if you like this blog, you might consider subscribing:

http://www.youtube.com/user/dannyteachah

Happy Reading

2011-04-29T09:37:00.000+09:00

The student in front of me checked out the copy of Lady Chatterley's Lover from the school library.

Nice

Clarification

2011-04-28T13:45:00.000+09:00

I called the taxi dispatch and used my best Kringlish. Since my parroting of survival Korea is so good, Koreans often answer me in Korean.

For what ever reason this guys starts yelling at me. I quickly pass the phone to a Korean coworker and tell her the dispatch guy is yelling at me for no reason.

She talks with him for no less than 3 minutes.

He says he wasn't yelling at you. He was answering you loudly and quickly.

My bad...

Metaphor

2011-04-22T09:58:00.001+09:00

I'm sorry KY, but this does not count as an evocative metaphor...

If we say that the sound of a general C chord is a food that tastes good, my C chord is a food that doesn't taste good.

Homosexual Confusion

2011-04-21T13:44:00.004+09:00

Homosexuality is very stigmatized in Korea. It is a major problem for the country. Most gay Koreans live lies and have to remain silent when the average Korean says ridiculous things on the topic like “There are no gay Koreans” or “It’s only a Western problem.” Besides for Homo Hill, there is no openly gay district in the country (to my knowledge). With suicide being the problem it is in Korea and for the gay community, it has me worried for homosexual Korean youth.

At the same time, however, Korean men and boys often act what is perceived to be stereotypically (and not so stereotypically) “gay” in American culture. My male students (this goes for Elementary to High School) wear Hello Kitty, hot pink shoes, tennis socks with little pompoms. They hop on each others laps while they stroke and caress each others’ cheeks, hair, etc. They play crotch tag and often enjoy jamming their fingers between their classmates’ butt cheeks. This is all perceived to be normal male heterosexual behavior in Korea.

Go figure!

Today during self study one of my students was cuddling with his Hello Kitty strawberry shaped pillow while twirling his finger through his bleached hair. Suddenly he started cracking up.
“What’s so funny,” I asked him.

He pointed to a boy sitting in front of him. The boy had his arm around a female classmate as they shared i-pod ear buds.

“He’s a gay,” said the boy snuggling Hello Kitty.

PS
From experience, I can tell you there are one or two gay Koreans at least.

New Desktop Wallpaper

2011-04-18T16:05:00.000+09:00

The new 1-2 homeroom has a new desktop wallpaper on their classroom computer...

Guess Who

2011-04-08T23:10:00.000+09:00

My students are currently working on descriptive writing so I decided to modify one of my favorite games. They had to write a descriptive paragraph about someone in class and then the rest of class had to guess who. Marie decided to write about KY.

I also gave them instructions to write only nice things and to not be mean or disrespectful...

When I first met this person, he seemed very popular like a Casanova. But as I later got to know him, he seemed to have the hormones of a girl. He is a boy but acts like a middle aged woman. That is why were are such good friends.

Oh Kringlish compliments!

It's The Little Things...

2011-04-06T16:13:00.001+09:00

I had a bad day today haunting students who haven't turned in their essays yet. One student emailed me her essay and left this little message. It made me smile.

Update:

Here's another little note from another student :D

Say what now?

2011-04-05T15:36:00.000+09:00

Just a short line from one of my students' essays about traveling to America...

The idea of a society full of whites and blacks is awkward and ridiculous to me.

What’s your motto?

2011-04-05T11:26:00.000+09:00

Some brilliant person at my school thought it would be a good idea to make a nice mounted plaque of all the students pictures with their motto printed below. Some brilliant person also thought it would be a good idea to print and post them before consulting with one of the many foreign teachers at hand.

Here’s a sampling of the most amusing:

- The index finger comes before the thumb

- Death before failure

- Time is but the stream I go a-fishin’ in

- I’m omniscient and omnipotent

- I am God

- Welcome to the NBA!

- To build a chocolate school

- Stay hungry, stay foolish

- Hakuna Matata

- My name is Michael Hong

The best and brightest Korean highschoolers at their finest!

I'm Impressed

2011-03-31T11:15:00.001+09:00

Today I gave one of my classes free time to work on their narrative essays. One of my super students who already had it done busied himself sticking pencils in his anchormanlike helmet of hair to see how many he could stick in at the same time without dropping any.

...18

It's going to be okay...

2011-03-25T13:39:00.001+09:00

My students had an assignment to get into groups, vote on their favorite political philosopher, and then write a paragraph about why they like that philosopher.

Everything was going super well until this one girl seemed to get really upset.

Teacher: What’s wrong?

Eun-Bin: Oh teacher, everyone’s an idiot.

Teacher: Why do you say that?

Eun-Bin: They want to write about Montesquieu! I don’t like Montesquieu!

Teacher: Why don’t you like him?

Eun-Bin: Because he’s wrong! I like Machiavelli!

Exquisite Corpse #4

2011-01-20T14:57:00.000+09:00

My lesson completely bombed and I had 20 minutes left before the bell. Ah, Exquisite Corpse saved me again. We only had time for 3 rounds...

She had always known there was something wrong with her brother...

[1]He'd often spend a lot of time gazing out of the window, looking at nothing. "I'm worried about you," Sarah said to her brother. He didn't answer her. He stumbled away, his head downcast. He kicked the ground as he left the room. He had a secret, which was...

[2]The secret was that...he could felt that his eye sites was getting worse and worse. Every morning as he opened his eyes, he could felt that his eye sites got very worse. But he could not tell his family. Because, his family was very too poor to get him eye surgery. And he didn't want to be a burnded to his family.

[3]So he decided to make money for the surgery. Although it cost $2000, he thought he could make that money if he try very hard. And then he went to Burger King. Luckily, he could get a job to serve hamburger and coke. After long time, he managed to earn $2000 for the surgery. He was very excited and happy. When he got out of the Burger King, a car hit him and he died.

Man, it sort of ends like an O'Henry story.

Thanks for sharing

2011-01-11T11:08:00.002+09:00

Wow. I got to meet some of the new first graders (aka 10th graders) today. They're not moved in yet, so they're just getting orientation. After doing my introductory ppt, I asked everyone to share one interesting fact about him or herself.

It looks like I might have my new Samuel.

My Englishee name is Magic Johnson and I like basketball. My penis is very large. It is seventeen centimeters long. I am very proud of my penis.

I've tagged him as Magic as I am willing to bet we'll be hearing from him again.

Amendment #1:10 Reasons THIS School Needs a Faculty Bathroom!!!

2011-01-03T13:13:00.003+09:00

10) When teacher is at the urinal, it is not the appropriate time to ask him about the proper MLA citation format of an unpublished survey. Nine out of ten Kringlish teachers agree.

9) While it is true that teacher has crotch-tag immunity, teacher doesn't enjoy watching it go down, especially when he’s waiting in line for the urinal.

8) That little bastard beat me to the sit toilet again!

7) OMG, it's like winning the fucking lottery if there happens to be any toilet paper left.

6) The creepy art projects above the urinals that watch teacher as he pees.

5) Slipping a review of Grown Ups under the toilet stall so teacher can proof read it before it goes to the editors of the school paper is not in good form. It is also not in good form to write a mostly positive review of Grown Ups.

4) After exiting the squat stall, one student lets out the generic Korean sound of surprise (something like the sound a donkey would make if you jab in the gut with a sharp stick) and then asks, “Teacher, you can go to the bathroom like a Korean?” And I thought their endless fascination over my chopstick mastery was annoying!

3) Good lord, please tell me that the white stuff on the ground isn't what I think it is. It is a freaking boarding school, and the kids need to "let off steam” somewhere, but do I need to step in it?

2) In between periods, teacher walked in on KY applying his bacne (or do you spell it backne?) medication!!!!

1) And the winner of most awkward urinal small-talk question ever is..."Teacher, are Americans really big?"

That one on the left looks a bit too much like Hitler.

Strange-ee

2010-12-22T11:07:00.000+09:00

So Danny-teacher gave his best class the choice between playing a game, watching the recent holiday special of The Simpsons, or discussing the recent Korea-Malaysia FTA meeting.

Free trade agreement it is, then....

These kids are seriously strange-ee

In between finals...

2010-12-20T18:03:00.000+09:00

My students had 50 mins between finals, so they put that time to good use...

It's good to see they're still kids...

Vote for HOPE!

2010-12-14T10:26:00.002+09:00

Hey readers! I would consider it a solid if you voted for HOPE (Helping Others Prosper through English) on this website. The charity provides free classes for orphans and underprivileged kids. Most of these kids don’t even have a foreign teacher at their schools because of where they happen to live.

http://10magazine.asia/2010/12/10/vote-which-charity/

10 Reasons THIS School Needs a Faculty Bathroom!!!

2010-12-10T16:58:00.000+09:00

My worst nightmare came true when I was told there was no faculty bathroom at our school. Oh hells to the no! Here we go again...

10) When you enter the bathroom, it is cute when a Kringlish high school kid who is brushing his teeth bows and says "Annyeong Haseyo." It is not cute when said Kringlish kid hits you in the face with toothpaste spittle.

9) When teacher is at the urinal, it is not the appropriate time to ask him about the proper MLA citation format of an unpublished survey. Nine out of ten Kringlish teachers agree.

8) While it is true that teacher has crotch-tag immunity, teacher doesn't enjoy watching it go down, especially when he’s waiting in line for the urinal.

7) That little bastard beat me to the sit toilet again!

6) OMG, it's like winning the fucking lottery if there happens to be any toilet paper left.

5) Slipping a review of Grown Ups under the toilet stall so teacher can proof read it before it goes to the editors of the school paper is not in good form. It is also not in good form to write a mostly positive review of Grown Ups.

4) After exiting the squat stall, one student lets out the generic Korean sound of surprise (something like the sound a donkey would make if you jab in the gut with a sharp stick) and then asks, “Teacher, you can go to the bathroom like a Korean?” And I thought their endless fascination over my chopstick mastery was annoying!

3) Good lord, please tell me that the white stuff on the ground isn't what I think it is. It is a freaking boarding school, and the kids need to "let off steam” somewhere, but do I need to step in it?

2) In between periods, teacher walked in on KY applying his bacne (or do you spell it backne?) medication!!!!

1) And the winner of most awkward urinal small-talk question ever is..."Teacher, are Americans really big?"

Kamsahamnida and goodnight!!

Déjà is a bitch…

2010-12-09T14:41:00.000+09:00

I got asked the dreaded question again...

"Teacher, are you satisfied with your face?"

At least my students are here at the advanced boarding school, so she didn't say teachah.