On Friday, I played host to the fourth in a national series of unconferences called the #SAtech Unconferences. The one I hosted was, of course, #SAtechKC. I wanted to share a little about the experience – both through this blog and some of the tweets from the event.

As we started the day, the turnout was a bit lower than I had expected/hoped, but it was a solid group, and they were ready to learn. Ed Cabellon was our opening keynote, and he did a spectacular job sharing about the unconference movement and how it came about in student affairs. He then went on to break the group into smaller workgroups and started them on some projects teaching each other and learning about social media tools, as much of the topics selected focused on that. People set up Twitter accounts that had never tweeted before, people were learning about Facebook ads and how to use analytics, there were even several people setting up WordPress accounts and blogging for the first time. I stepped away from my laptop for just a moment to see how things were going, and when I came back, it was being blasted with notifications from all the new tweets and Facebook likes from the attendees. Minutes into our unconference, and I was getting messages from attendees about how they were already learning a ton.

One of the most difficult things for me to learn about this unconference model is how to let go. I talk a good game about changing up the conference model – and I believe it, don’t get me wrong – but it’s much harder to let go of the control we like to have when we plan an event as student affairs professionals. We want to make sure our participants are getting something out of the event, that everything runs smoothly, that the evaluations all come back with gold stars. Letting go of that control is counter to our instincts, and it has been a bit like pulling teeth at times with me, I would imagine. And yet. When it came down to it, let go I did, and the participants stepped up – just as Ed predicted. (Not that I ever doubted Ed, of course – who would be crazy enough to do that?)

Our session discussions ranged from discussion of individual social media tools to how to use different tools for academic advising and more wide-ranging social media management; from using social media for retention to using it for engagement; and a few more topics found their way into the discussion from time to time, too.

By the end of the day, I think we were all a little worn out from working so hard during the rest of the day, but I was able to finish us up with what I think was a pretty decent talk on the state of technology in student affairs and where we’re headed (aptly titled “Becoming Tech Superheroes,” of course).

I think everyone was able to take at least one thing away from this experience – even if it was just an appreciation for the unconference model. I look forward to seeing the evaluations to learn a little more about what people learned, too. For me, this experience was about taking a risk, stepping outside of my comfort zone in many ways and seeing what happened. It may not have gone exactly as I hoped, but I learned so much from the experience that it’s definitely been worth it – and possibly a sign of future things to come. My comfort zone was getting kind-of boring anyways.

Obviously I’m a fan of tech blogs (duh), so it only makes sense that I highlight a couple of my favorites. While there are a number that I read, I want to highlight a couple that I think don’t get nearly as much attention as they deserve, for whatever reason.

First up, if you’re interested in student affairs and technology and you’re not reading Joe Sabado’s blog, you’re doing it wrong. From thoughts on how technology impacts the way we lead to his thoughts on the field of student affairs and technology in general, Joe writes about how he tackles complex problems, how he sees IT’s relationship with student affairs, and his thoughts on the future of the field. His posts are always relevant, and many of them are ahead of their time to get you thinking of the future. I cannot recommend it enough – when Joe writes, you should read.

The other blog I want to highlight is actually a wee bit of self-promotion – Student Affairs Women Talk Tech. To be honest, I sometimes think I don’t promote this blog enough. Although I blog for and co-edit this collaborative blog, I cannot claim much of the amazing intelligence that is shared here. You can find everything from app suggestions to infographics about why student affairs professionals are like superheros, ways to use tech to make your life easier to highlighting some amazing women in technology. And one of the things I love about this blog? It is entirely authored by women – women in technology! Who knew there were so many? Oh wait, I did. Seriously, though, this is another blog that you really should be following if you’re not.

What technology blogs do you follow or consider must-reads?

Today I thought I’d focus on a few folks who do an amazing job curating content for the rest of us poor schlubs on Twitter who are just trying to keep up. These are people who must spend every spare moment reading online content, as far as I can tell – and thank the goddess they do, because now I don’t have to.

Laura Pasquini (@laurapasquini) – Laura is spectacular at tweeting out all sorts of tech information, and I am fortunate enough to be on her list of interested parties, because she sometimes even tags me directly in tweets (always much appreciated!). She even has a particular talent at spotting information about women in tech – one of my favorite topics.

Chris Conzen (@clconzen) – I have it on pretty good authority that Chris sleeps way less than the rest of us, and I assume he must be spending all that extra time reading online content so that he can share it with those of us catching a few extra minutes of sleep. In addition to sharing general higher ed info, Chris does a great job finding content about community colleges, so definitely check him out if you’re looking for that. If you’re lucky, he’ll even chance upon a conversation of yours and share something particularly relevant – it’s almost a little scary how he can do that.

Joe Ginese (@joeginese) – Joe is all about everything innovative – whether it’s his new BFF Seth Godin or what’s new in higher ed, he has creative juices flowing all over his Twitter feed. Need some inspiration? Want to see what the newest thing in higher ed (and out) is? This is your guy!

Who do you follow to find content? What is your favorite type of online content to share?

Following in the footsteps of one of my co-bloggers on the SA Women Talk Tech blog, Kathryn Magura, and Becca Obergefell, I’ve decided to try and do my own “Follow Friday” posts here, since 140 characters is never enough to explain why I love some of these people. I can’t promise it will always be Twitter that I’m talking about, but I can promise some social media goodness.

I had my first experience with #femlead this week as a moderator, and I have to say I really enjoyed it. The topic was about taking breaks and feeling guilt, and it really spurred a pretty interesting conversation amongst several tweeps. I’m looking forward to checking out more of these chats (every other Tuesday at 1 p.m. CST). I also really appreciated the variety of people who participated – it wasn’t all student affairs folks but also faculty near and far. I know they’ll be discussing Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In at some point in the near future, and I can imagine that will be a good conversation.

One of my favorite people to follow on Twitter is Teri Bump. Many of you may follow her already, but if you don’t, please start. She is always sharing great information from a variety of sources, but more importantly, she does an amazing job of promoting others. One of the original #wlsalt sisters, she continues to uplift and support women in student affairs and higher ed. She continues to share great advice for both job-seekers and those in leadership positions. Trust me when I say you won’t be disappointed if you give her a follow.

Finally, make sure to take a look-see at the blog of one of my favoritest people, Cindy Kane. She may not write often (I hear she’s got some wee little doc program thing she’s working on), but when she does it packs a punch. Her most recent post on Imposter Syndrome struck more than a few chords with me – and several others. She is very real and able to find both the humor and the authenticity in her writing. Plus she has the second-cutest little boy I know who makes appearances in her updates from time to time. Who wouldn’t want to follow that?

So who do you recommend for Follow Friday?

I just finished reading a blog post by the amazing Erica Thompson on authentic women in student affairs (go read it – seriously, it’s great), and rather than suck up her comments section with my thoughts, I figured I’d write my own response post. First of all, I should just say that I wholeheartedly agree with the idea that we (women, men, and any other gender) need to be authentic – in student affairs or any profession.

I have to admit, though, that one statement in Erica’s blog really stood out for me – as well as some of the reactions to it:

Being an ice queen is advantageous – trick your brain into turning off your emotions just to get through the day.

I do this because it’s easier to not “get close” – don’t like term ice queen though!

I’ve been told similar messages in my current position to cry less or not to take something personally BUT I’m a whole person – that just can’t happen.

I’ve been told to not be so emotional…but I’m a feeler, it just happens!

Thankfully I am encouraged to have emotions; but unfortunately not in all settings, just the ones where I don’t challenge the system.

So here’s why this stood out for me: I think there are a number of people who would consider me to be a bit of an ice queen myself – I tend to not show a lot of emotion, be blunt and to the point, and I’m all about getting business done. And because I do this as a woman, I am criticized that I am not feeling enough, I’m too harsh or aggressive, I’m a bitch. I think we need to be careful about how we look at this issue – it’s not dichotomous. There are problems with saying women should be ice queens, much like there are problems in saying they shouldn’t be.

The real key here is that regardless of the expectations of women as professionals, we need to be supportive of all women. We need to stop cutting each other down and allowing others to cut us down. The more we support each other in the workplace, the more we can all feel safe to be authentic women.

How do you struggle to be authentic? What statements about women do you struggle with?

So in case you missed it yesterday, there was a pretty spectacular announcement via the Student Affairs Collaborative blog:

We’ve noticed an increased interest in sharing resources and offering opportunities for professional development that can be done outside of the conference setting. Enter #SAReads. (AKA: the best book club you’ve ever imagined.) We’ll have a monthly common reading that will cover personal and/or professional development, with an on going discussion happening in the #SAReads group on GoodReads and on Twitter using the #SAReads hashtag. We’ll use Google Hangouts from time to time to discuss the common readings, too. #SAReads is led by Kristen Abell.

Can I just say, “Squeee!”? A few weeks ago, I tweeted out about the interest in an #sareads chat. The response was pretty huge, so I decided it was worth pursuing. Lucky for me, so did Lisa Endersby, who got me connected with the SA Collaborative.  Three weeks later, and here we are launching a book club unlike anything you’ve ever known. We’ll discuss common books, but we’re also excited to hear about what you’re reading, too. And we’re hoping to get book reviews and recommendations from the participants, participate in GoodReads and Twitter chats, and even have the occasional Google hangout.

So get ready to get reading, and join us to participate in #sareads! I can’t wait to talk books with you!

Many of you may have read my previous posts on depression on my personal blog or even on the #SAChat blog. Several of you even contacted me – either to send messages of support or tell me about your own struggles with depression or other mental illnesses. I find that even now, almost four months later, I receive messages from people struggling with depression, anxiety, or other mental illnesses/mental health issues. Often, they are just looking for someone who knows what they’re going through. They want to be able to talk and not have to explain themselves. They want advice and reassurance that it gets better. They want to know they’re not alone.

I can’t emphasize this enough: I am thrilled to be that person. That might seem odd, but I really and truly am. You know why? Because it means that they have someone they can call, and they feel comfortable enough with me for me to be that someone. Thinking back on the times I struggled most with my depression, I know that some of the most comforting moments were when I was able to talk to a good friend of mine who has similar struggles. If I had not had that touchpoint, I can’t be certain I would have made it through as I did.

So please, keep calling, writing, tweeting, Facebooking, just generally reaching out to me – whenever you need it. I’m here. I get it. I’m ready to be your “someone.”

That being said – why aren’t there more “someones” out there? I think it still in large part has to do with the fear of “outing” oneself as depressed, as mentally ill or unwell. Hey, I can’t blame them – I’m 35, and I’m just newly comfortable talking about it to the extent that I do. And when I say “comfortable,” I really mean that I’m comfortable writing about it. I still struggle with the occasional person that says something to me about my posts face-to-face – it’s much easier behind the glare of my computer screen than in person.

This tells me we have a long way to go as a profession.

How are you showing your colleagues that you’re ready to be there for them? That you’re ready to accept them without stigma? How will we fight the need for fear together?

Now that it’s almost time for mid-terms at our campus, I can write about this topic with some level of sanity (I would never claim complete sanity). I think we have a problem in student affairs, and it’s one people do not want to talk about – there is, in fact, Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) in student affairs.

I believe this happens at different times of the year for different people, but the ones I’m going to focus on today are those like me – the ones that struggle with it at the beginning of the year. I don’t know how common this is, but I suspect it’s more common than people are willing to let on. Heaven knows I’ve been reluctant to out myself about it for years. The students are coming back, and we should be excited and jubilant and happy, right? And if we aren’t, there is something grossly wrong with us.

But I admit it. I’m Kristen, and I get depressed in August. (Hello, Kristen.)

I want to be excited when the students return, I really do. But the time spent preparing, the long hours and time away from my partner and child, the anticipated stress of roommate conflicts, of preparing facilities and staff, and more – this all means mainly I am just run down by the time the students get here. I am ready to skip over that beginning part – that part that’s supposed to make me feel all giddy like at the beginning of a new relationship. I’m ready to get into the routine of it all, get back to my projects and planning, and getting work besides prep work done.

And as I have spoken with a few of my colleagues, I have noticed that I’m not the only one with this problem. No, it hasn’t been easy getting others to admit this. I think there’s a bit of shame we feel that we’re not excited and energetic like our colleagues. I think we feel like there’s something wrong with us because we feel more run down than eager at this time of year. Certainly I know that it’s taboo to admit that I can’t wait until the beginning of the year is over to some of my colleagues.

So I’m going to out myself in the hopes that there are others that will know they are not alone. It’s okay to struggle with this time of year – it doesn’t make you any less of a dedicated student affairs professional. It just means you enjoy different aspects of your work than others. Maybe you’re an introvert and you enjoy more focused, one-on-one time with students. Maybe you just don’t have the pep that opening can require but love doing programs for students with whom you’ve already built relationships. Whatever it is, know that you’re not alone.

I’m Kristen, and I hate August. But I’m a good student affairs professional.

What are your tough times of the year? What do you struggle with in your job?

The other day, my partner and I were lamenting that “one person” who gets up to talk to the students and warns about the dangers of Facebook. I’m sure many of you have that “one person” at your institution – you know, the one that tries to talk to “the kids” on their level about social media, then fails in spectacular fashion because they obviously have no idea what they’re talking about. So for that person – or for anyone who reads this blog to share with that person, I thought I’d list a few time-tested tricks to talking to students about social media and not sounding like a complete doofus.

1. Don’t call it “The Facebook.” I really don’t think I need to explain this one.

2. Don’t talk about “in real life” as though online isn’t real life. For those who aren’t aware of my feelings on this, let me break it down for you – I have many relationships online that are just as valuable to me as those I have face to face. The fact that I only know them online makes them no less my friends. So quit telling me – and everyone else – that online relationships aren’t “in real life.”

3. Don’t excessively warn students about the dangers of online addiction, meeting stalkers online, etc. Of course there are some real dangers to being online – just like there are in not being online. The key here is to strike a good balance – it’s likely they’ve been hearing more about the dangers of going online from others in their lives, and they’re tired of it. They are going to be more likely to tune you out if you focus on the same message.

4. Don’t talk about how forward-thinking and tech-savvy your institution is in one breath and then admit you don’t know how to work your smartphone in the next one. You are part of your institution – if you aren’t tech-savvy, then there’s a good chance others at your institution aren’t, either. You’re not fooling anyone by saying that the rest of the university is.

5. For the love of all that is holy, please, please don’t talk about how you don’t “twitter,” “tweeter,” or any other bird-related term that you mean to be cute and funny. Not only do you sound like an idiot, but this is actually very condescending to those who do. (And, in case you hadn’t guessed, this is a HUGE pet peeve of mine.)

6. Don’t talk about MySpace. It’s over, people.

7. Don’t try to use the language without having a good understanding of the tools. It will quickly become apparent that you have no idea what you’re talking about but just overheard some people who do get it. (See numbers 1 and 5 for more specific examples).

8. Don’t make the assumption that someone who uses Facebook or other social media sites is a “digital native” or tech-savvy. In fact, let’s just get rid of that whole “digital native” terminology altogether, shall we? Sites like Facebook are created to be user-friendly, which means it requires virtually NO tech knowledge to set up a profile and install on your phone. For that matter, there are very few sites that aren’t user-friendly these days, so that whole “tech-savvy” thing just doesn’t apply here. If you really want to argue about it, let’s talk about people who had to figure out how to email using Pine – now THAT required some tech knowledge.

9. Don’t have an outdated profile that is easy to find. The minute someone gets up and starts talking social media, what does the audience do? They look up your profile, duh. So if it’s outdated or has un-moderated comments or pictures on it, you will be pegged as someone who has no idea what they’re saying. Not to mention, it is possible they will add something choice to your page or wall as a “hello” – or something like that.

I’ve focused on the “don’ts” in this post, as these are the things I’ve seen most frequently that make me cringe. There are few things that will undermine your credibility with students faster these days than not knowing anything about social media. So do yourself, your students and your colleagues a favor and take the time to get to know what you’re doing. Not only will it boost your credibility, you’ll be learning an important work skill that you can use time and time again to reach out to your students and colleagues.

On July 3rd, 2012, Joe Ginese (@JoeGinese) and I (@Kristendom) hosted a rogue #CONF30 chat. What resulted was 548 tweets generating 657,175 impressions and reaching an audience of 48,310 followers (Thank you Hashtracking.com!)

I actually Storify’d the entire conversation

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