A Personal Note

I feel the need to get really personal today. Why? Because I have a very unique story of overcoming. Because I was that woman that subconsciously believed that I needed a man to have financial abundance in my life. Because I am a woman that, professionally speaking, looks for patterns and analyzes them. Once I did that with my own life, I had this magical realization that I was the stability in my life, not the men I was attracting.

As I mentioned last week in my blog post, as a society, we are built on a foundation that has led us to believe that as women, we cannot find financial stability without a man. I am not blaming society, as I actually do understand that back in primordial times, it really was a matter of science and safety. Men hunted and women took care of the home front, purely for safety reasons.

However, as time has progressed and society has changed, women have come a really long way with regard to being able to provide without a man in their lives. For me, especially. I look back on my life and can see now that every time I had a man in my life, I was struggling financially. Every time I have been single, I have flourished financially.

Why is this?

My Realization

I am the stable one. There was this illusion that plagued me for so many years. Sometimes I wonder if it has plagued me through lifetimes. This belief that the man was the breadwinner in a family. The fact that a woman could not do it on her own, at least that is how society has portrayed it. Yes, there are “success stories” out there of women who have done it on their own. But, how many people have sold out and married someone just for the financial stability that they were seeking?

It was a moment I will never forget. The moment that, all of a sudden, the pattern showed itself to me so clearly.

Death and Rebirth

Once I saw the pattern, I couldn’t “unsee” it. As soon as I saw it, a part of me died. The part of me that believed that I needed a man in my life in order to be financially stable.

I look back at my life, and I can see that I truly have raised three boys on my own with very little child support from their father. I can see that the Universe conspired to show me that that belief pattern was false.

The fact of the matter is, if this is true for me, it is true for every person out there. Yes, there is a theory that two is greater than one. However, in my case, each time I tried to be in a partnership, they, energetically speaking, were not even remotely close to me in so many ways, that it pulled my energy and finances down.

Now, I will not allow anyone into my life unless they add to my energy, not detract from it.

Take a look at your life. Create the change in your life that you want to see all around you. Create your own financial stability. Stop looking outside of yourself for that which you can provide to yourself.

Once you shift that perspective, I promise you, you will have the whole world sitting right in the palm of your hands.

The post Who We Are, After the Change appeared first on California CPA and Forensic Accounting Financial Mentor.

While I am smack dab in the middle of Generation X, there are some serious underlying currents from generations past that still sit deep in my subconscious that I am working on scrubbing out.

Ghosts of Generations Past

While I have always considered myself a strong and independent woman, there has been an undercurrent in my life that made me feel like I didn’t amount to much without a man in my life. Again, this was an undercurrent. It showed up in the panic I would feel when I was single. Which, I did not allow myself to be much from the age of 16 to 38 years of age. I would jump from one long-term relationship to the next hoping to find “the one”. Yet, I kept finding myself in unhealthy and toxic relationships that didn’t just end, they blew up in flames.

After my first relationship after my marriage ended in flames two years after my divorce was final I made the decision to clear the decks and spend some time alone to find myself.

Something I didn’t notice at the time was that my finances increased significantly during this two year period. I didn’t think much of it at the time because I was in the process of building my business.

Once I was on solid footing financially and emotionally, I took another stab at a long term relationship.

What I Couldn’t See At The Time…

What I couldn’t see at the time was that my finances started to spiral again while I was in that relationship. While I was in it, I also couldn’t see that the relationship itself was unhealthy and toxic. My energy was divided and erratic due to the lack of stability in myself and the relationship.

Funny story, as soon as I ended that relationship two years ago, my finances started to improve significantly again.

Even More Surprising

Even more surprising was when we started the “Stay at Home” orders in California in mid-March 2020. I was calm, yet a bit nervous about the situation. Something deep inside of me told me I was going to be okay.

After a couple of months of this order, I started to notice something. My finances were going through the roof. The only thing I could tie it to was the fact that I had slowed down enough to honor my own space and energy. I didn’t have a man sucking the life force out of me. I wasn’t wasting my time and energy on people that were not serving my best interests. I was calm. I was stable. I was financially secure.

What Society Has Told Us

Whether we want to admit it or not, our society for generations have made women feel like they are nothing without a man. In this day and age, it is much more subtle than it used to be. But, even just a few short decades ago, women really would have struggled in our society without a man to “take care of them financially”.

What I Have Learned

Time and time again, the Universe has sent me VERY clear messages that the exact opposite is true for me. Thankfully, I had parents that set me up for success and provided me with a college education. Thankfully, I was blessed with a persistent heart and soul that would stop at nothing when it comes to accomplishing my goals. But, when I have looked back on my life, I have noticed my finances decrease significantly when I have a man in my life romantically.

Now, this is not saying that I blame the men in my life for my financial situation. I actually take full responsibility for the fact that I allowed myself to stay in toxic and unhealthy situations that drained me in more ways than just financially.

What 2020 Taught Me

2020 has taught me that where my energy goes, so goes my finances. With that in mind, I am EXTREMELY conscious of where my energy is at and where it is going. I am very selective with who I allow in my energy space. At the first sign of anything out of my wave length, I move on.

I refuse to allow what society and generations past have led me to believe as true rule my life. I see the power I have as a woman. I see the power I have as a mother. I see the power I have as an Entrepreneur. I see the power I have when I am stable and grounded.

I ask you to take a look back at your life and notice the patterns. One of the keys for me was also the fact that I was not pining away at having a man in my life at this time either. I was at peace with the present moment and exactly where I was/am at.

What is holding you back financially? Are there ghosts from your past that you need to set on fire?

The post Ghosts on Fire appeared first on California CPA and Forensic Accounting Financial Mentor.

A Clean Slate

One reason, I am sure, is what I mentioned last week. We are able to start off fresh, with a clean slate, and put everything else behind us. Just by the pure structure of our calendar system, we can literally start anew. Well, if anyone knows how financial statements work, the balance sheet doesn’t really allow us that luxury, but, let’s pretend.

The fact of the matter is, this is a perfect time to get serious about our finances.

Structure

As I have been in the field of accounting for over 20 years now, I can tell you that there is one common thread that flows through every person or company that I see as a “successful”. And, that is they have structure around their finances.

What do I mean by that?

I mean, they are not flying by the seat of their pants. They know where their money is coming from and they know exactly where it is going.

Idea

Every single thing in this world starts with an idea. There is that feeling you have deep in your stomach. That flash of an idea that pops in your head in the shower. Or, that one little thing that keeps you awake at night. That idea is the seed that will grow…but, only if you water it.

Planning

This is where the structure comes in. Throughout my career I have gone into many small businesses and helped them organize and get a clear picture of where they are at financially. Lately, I have also helped people that have been through some life altering event, like a death in the family or a divorce as well. No matter what, one of the first things you should do is figure out how the money is going to come in? As well as, how the money will be spent. Once you know that, it is so much easier to make decisions and tweaking the littlest things that could end up having a HUGE return.

Strategy

Once the seed of the idea has been planted and you are able to get some structure around your finances, that is when you have all that you need to create a strategy that will be able to take off. I will tell you this, in no uncertain terms, if you are flying by the seat of your pants, you may experience short term success, but it is fleeting. If you have no clue where your money is really coming from or where it is going, long term success will be unlikely. If you don’t know how to do this, hire someone that does. Just make sure they are also highly recommended and trustworthy.

Success

Yes, success does sometimes land in people’s laps. However, why would you not want to substantially increase your chances for success? If you struggle with structure and creating a framework that will work for you, check out other already established frameworks that fit your style of learning/working. I was speaking to someone the other day that I felt Dave Ramsey would be a fantastic fit for them. He is not for me, personally, but seemed like a great fit for this person. Suze Orman is another fantastic option for many. Find that structure and utilize it to climb to your success.

Having the big picture in mind is key. Hold onto that desire for success. Keep the reality of the situation in mind as you move forward. Open your mind to new opportunities and ways of thinking. All of these will bolster your success and financial freedom.

The post Get Serious About Your Finances appeared first on California CPA and Forensic Accounting Financial Mentor.

It was when I got out of bed and removed the 2020 annual wall calendar I have on my wall, that it finally hit me. As I was placing the pristine new 2021 annual wall calendar up on my wall that I saw the real reason that a new year is celebrated every year with such gusto.

Clean Slate

As I sat and looked at my fresh new calendar up on my wall, I thought about all the new and wonderful possibilities that this year has the potential to hold. If I am truly honest with you, 2020 was not all that bad of a year for me. Not nearly as bad as I know it was for many. I, personally, have had much worse years for many reasons. Yet, this year, I feel like there was a collective sigh of relief as we turned the page from 2020 to 2021.

2020 – A Year of Shining the Spotlight

The fact of the matter is, 2020 shined a spotlight on a whole lot that needed to change in this country and all across the world. There are clearly countries that handled this pandemic in much better ways than other countries did. Maybe those countries that are still struggling could ask for guidance from those that are not.

In the middle of this year, a spotlight was clearly shined on systemic problems that have long plagued the United States of America. Screaming at each other is clearly not going to solve anything. 2021 could be the year that we stop screaming at each other and finally acknowledge the problems and work towards solutions.

2020 was a year that showed that many Americans are living paycheck to paycheck and once the country was forced to go into quarantine, many people lost their ability to provide for themselves and their families. 2021 could be the year that those same people look at their lives and their situations and make different choices.

The fact is that clearly 2020 has shown all of us in one way or another that we cannot keep going in the direction we were and making the same decisions that we were making. Because, it just is not working anymore.

Financially Speaking

As my area of expertise happens to be in the world of finances, 2020 has been a year that has shown me some of the good choices I have made throughout my life and how that affected me in this time of chaos. However, it has also shown me the less than perfect choices I have made and how that played out. Likely, many of you are the same.

Here is the key in what is important…How you handle the adversity that 2020 has sent you will dictate how many of the next few years will go. It will not all go away because we just flipped the calendar over to the new year.

As a financial professional, I would like to give you some advice in an area I know quite a bit about.

• While 2020 was extremely emotionally charged, on many levels, take time now, at the beginning of this beautiful new year to take a step back from your emotions and get grounded. Nothing was ever gained leading with emotion.
• Take a very serious and HONEST look at your situation, whether it be financially, professionally, romantically, or spiritually. Honest being the operative word in that sentence. Are you really where you want to be? What did 2020 show you with regard to your finances?
• Take time to reflect. Ask yourself, how did I get here? The fact of the matter is, no matter which way you slice it, your choices led you to where you are today. Yes, I know, there were definitely circumstances far out of many of our control, but, ultimately your choices had the largest impact on your current situation.
• Make decisions. With all that you have done so far to calm yourself down and taking an honest look at your life, start to make new decisions that will ultimately lead you to new and exciting places.

I was very blessed in the fact that the last several years of my life have been financially difficult due to who I chose to marry and have three children with. While that was unpleasant, there were many lessons there that led me to make new choices, which ultimately led me to have little to no impact on my business and my finances this year. I have said over and over again that my whole life prepared me for 2020. However, it was a bumpy ride getting there. Many out there are likely just in their bumpy phase now.

My Point…

We are here on this journey to learn the lessons we came here to learn. Flipping the page to a new calendar year is not going to make all that happened last year vanish. But, it could be the stepping stones to you creating a whole new picture with the clean slate this new year just handed you.

The post New Year = Clean Slate appeared first on California CPA and Forensic Accounting Financial Mentor.

As a woman in my mid-40’s, smack dab in the middle of the “Gen X” Generation, I have been lucky in so many ways, namely when it comes to my career and my finances. Only recently have I realized just how lucky I am and how hard the women in the the “Baby Boomer” Generation have had to fight for my generation.

Shocking Revelation

It was not that long ago that my Mom shared a story with me that, quite literally, almost knocked me out of my seat. She shared with me that while we lived in Illinois, back in the mid-1970’s, she wrote a check at a department store. Mind you, this was a joint checking account that she had with her husband, my Father. The woman asked her if she had my Father’s “permission” to write the check. Now, my logical brain goes to the fact that she had joint signing authority on the account, but that was not how things were in those days. She literally had to get my Father’s permission to use the account.

I could not wrap my head around this situation. Why? Because I have never experienced anything like this?

Or, have I?

While the backwards way of those days are no longer “on the books” with regard to the law, at least not here in California, I have met with other subtler forms of this.

Before having children, my husband (at the time, now ex) and I made very similar amounts of money. However, when we walked into a car dealership once to buy me a car, the salesman didn’t take a second glance at me, walked up to my husband, shook his hand and asked what he was looking for. Needless to say, we did NOT buy a car from him.

Not to mention the time, I was meeting a colleague at a local coffee shop here in Roseville about 10 years ago. When I arrived, my colleague was speaking with another older gentleman that he had run into and known. He introduced me to said gentleman as a CPA. How did this older gentleman choose to react? His comment to my colleague, right in front of me as he was shaking my hand, was “She sure as hell doesn’t look like any CPA I have ever met before!!”.

What exactly did he mean by this? Was it meant to be a compliment? Because it sure as hell didn’t feel like one.

Stuck Between Two Worlds

We have come such a long way in our society with regard to how we view women on many levels. But, I cannot help but feel this underlying current that still runs through our society that women are not “fit” to handle money, work in “traditionally male dominated” professions, or do much other than raise children.

Very much like racism, there is a systemic problem when it comes to women and money. I am not saying that it is even conscious, because, honestly, I don’t believe it is.

We have come such a long way. And, for me personally, I have clearly not let it get the better of me. But, that is not to say that, energetically speaking, I have not felt the pull of this toxicity.

Clarity is Power

Let me make something very clear here, I am not bashing men. Lord knows, I love men. Remember, I am raising three of them on my own. I am not bashing women either. I was a very career oriented woman prior to my oldest son being born. I felt that pull to give up my career and stay home to raise my boys. I reorganized my entire life and career because of it. But, I cannot help but wonder if we really opened our eyes to that toxic energetic current, what more in the way of change is possible?

What is that next step in moving to the new world?

My answer?

Financial literacy for all. Financial empowerment for all. Financial education for everyone.

Take a step back and look at your life. Where have you seen those undercurrents? What can you do to move into the new world way of thinking?

The post Between Two Worlds appeared first on California CPA and Forensic Accounting Financial Mentor.

One of the many blessings that came from my divorce, many years ago, was that I was highly educated in the field of accounting. My ex-husband knew that he could not manipulate the numbers because I was the one that handled our money. Unfortunately for him, he did try here and there, but to no avail.

With my experience, I have grown passionate about empowering others when it comes to their personal and business finances. So, today, I share with you

5 Tips to Avoid Being Financially Manipulated

1. Don’t be afraid of numbers… – So many people have shared with me over the years that numbers to them made them feel like they were standing in the middle of the picture I have chosen for this post. Dark and foggy. Lost in the woods. A creepy house nearby that you are not sure if it is safe to approach. While I know numbers may appear scary to many of you, I promise you, they are not. AVOIDING numbers is what is scary. In my practice now, I see far too many people that have been afraid of numbers their whole lives, and are just now facing that fear. Usually due to an unavoidable situation, like divorce or death of a loved one. This is NOT the time to be trying to overcome your fear of numbers. If anything, it just exacerbates it. Before the crisis is the time to focus on overcoming your fear around numbers.
2. Seek to understand… – How do you overcome your fear of numbers? As Stephen Covey so eloquently put it, “Seek First to Understand”. Watching my three teenage boys navigate high school math in this day and age with “Common Core” and whatever other newfangled way of teaching math they have come up with, I completely understand why there is such a fear around numbers. Yes, I know that I was blessed with the fact that, for whatever reason, numbers just speak to me. However, they really can speak to you as well. I liken it to learning a new language. Once you overcome your fear of numbers, seek to understand them in whatever way is comfortable to you. Experiment with different things to see what works best for you and how your brain works.
3. Ask questions… – One of the best ways to gain an understanding is to start asking questions. Many of my clients come to me because they are going through a divorce, which forced them to start looking at their finances. Unfortunately, due to the intense nature of divorce, in and of itself, this usually completely overwhelms people. All I can say is, if you are looking at your finances and something deep inside of you says that something is not right, follow your gut and contact a professional for help. Your gut will never steer you wrong. Ask those questions, even if they seem “stupid”. No question is “stupid” when it comes to your understanding of your finances.
4. Get educated… – Now, I am not saying to go out and get a degree in finance or accounting. Leave that to the people that love numbers. What I am saying is, take classes at your local community college. Look around your area, local professionals might offer seminars on personal finance. Watch YouTube videos, listen to audio books on finance, or join a Meetup group. There are so many ways these days that we can learn something new. I can assure you, you will never regret learning about your money. I believe firmly that there is power in education.
5. Ask for help… – This is probably the most important tip here. ASK FOR HELP!!! No matter what your situation is, there are people out there that can help you. Make sure you get your help from people that are licensed, educated, and either referred, or at the very least vetted. Make sure to ask for references and follow up with checking them out. Remember, this is your money, and unfortunately there are people that will manipulate. However, it is much less likely in a highly regulated profession. Yet, I still recommend you check out sources.

As I said before, I was blessed to have the knowledge, education, and experience I had when I went through my divorce. I am extremely passionate about helping others find their voice when it comes to their personal finances. Divorce is stressful enough without having to, in effect, learn another language on your own. When you have the right professionals on your side, you will not only get educated, but you will find strength to stand your ground and get what is rightfully yours under the laws of the state that you live in.

The post 5 Tips to Avoid Being Financially Manipulated appeared first on California CPA and Forensic Accounting Financial Mentor.

“Wealth of Knowledge”

blog was born.

However, when I sold my tax practice back in 2011, I took a bit of a hiatus when it came to the personal finance field. I decided to take some time for me. I went up to the Sierra Nevada Foothills for five weeks of intensive Yoga and Meditation Teacher Training. Soon after I came home, my husband of almost 13 years left me.

Chaos ensued…

So that you understand the full picture and timeline:

• June 2011 – I sold my tax practice and took a hiatus from working altogether.
• July – August 2011 – Intensive Yoga and Meditation Teacher Training.
• Fall 2011 – My father fell ill and was constantly in and out of the hospital.
• Fall 2011 – My oldest son, who was 9 years old at the time, had a cancer scare and major surgery on the bones of his right leg.
• March 2012 – My husband of 13 years told me he was unhappy in our marriage.
• April 1, 2012 – I moved in with my parents after my husband told me he was done with our marriage. My boys were 5, 7, and 9 years old at the time.

As you can clearly see here, I no longer had an income source due to selling my practice and clearly my life was crumbling in around me.

Fear and Money

However, this post is NOT about me. It is about what I can SHARE with you. If you check out my “About” page, you will see all of my education, experience and credentials. But, what I am here to say is so much more than just that. Yes, much of my knowledge comes from all of that. But, in reality, what you will see here on this blog comes straight from my heart and soul. It comes from the fact that I have been in the trenches. I have pulled myself up from absolutely nothing, while raising three boys on my own, and building my own CPA Firm from scratch.

My whole life prepared me for this moment.

When the world started to shut down in March of 2020 due to the COVID-19 pandemic, one of my very first thoughts was, “My whole life prepared me for this moment.” I definitely felt uneasy about what was going on. However, something deep inside my soul told me that I was going to be okay. The only difference between 2020 and the last eight years was the fact that I was no longer alone in my struggles. I knew the entire world was feeling the same pain and uncertainty that I was.

With that said, I settled into that “knowing”. I got real about my spending and did some math to figure out what I needed to stay afloat. I tried not to focus on the future too much. I just focused on what was in front of me right then and there.

The World is Scared

On so many levels, I get it. And, because of that, I want to share my wealth of knowledge. Yes, from all those certifications, education, and experience. But, also from the standpoint of a single mother, raising her three boys 100% on her own, while building a successful business. I cannot tell you how many nights I have, literally, fallen to my knees and asked for guidance, because, I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am not here to tell you how to restrict your spending in order to survive, I will leave that to Dave Ramsey. I am not here to tell you how to invest your money, I will leave that to the Financial Advisors. I am not here to tell you every loop hole to find to become an overnight millionaire, I will leave that to… well, whoever does that.

What I am here to do is to share that wealth of knowledge with you. To share what 23 years in the accounting world has taught me. As my specialty happens to be financial forensics, I also want to share with you the many ways I see how money is manipulated AND how money can manipulate you.

My main goal is to get you to think. I believe that each person knows intrinsically the best way to earn and spend their money. I want to empower each and every one of you to tap into that power and find your own path to financial freedom.

It doesn’t have to feel like a wrestling match

Earning and spending money does not have to feel like a wrestling match. For many people it does because of their upbringing and societal expectations. When we finally settle into what is best for us and our own personal situation, you will find that things start to flow properly for you and your family.

Lets find that path together.

The post Fear and Money appeared first on California CPA and Forensic Accounting Financial Mentor.

Lucky for you, I have found the best resource out there… and, it is completely FREE!

Investopedia has a “wealth” of information that will help you to learn more, and start saving money, straight away.  Here is a link to their page, and if you look at their Academy, you will find fantastic resources that I have also listed below.

https://www.investopedia.com/

• PERSONAL FINANCE
  • Wealth Management
  • Budgeting/Saving
  • Banking
  • Credit Cards
  • Home Ownership
  • Retirement Planning
  • Taxes
  • Insurance
• REVIEWS & RATINGS
  • Best Online Brokers
  • Best Savings Accounts
  • Best Home Warranties
  • Best Credit Cards
  • Best Personal Loans
  • Best Student Loans
  • Best Life Insurance
  • Best Auto Insurance

The post Financial Literacy appeared first on California CPA and Forensic Accounting Financial Mentor.

For this reason, it is very important to approach this topic with care.  Each of us has our own way of doing things when it comes to our finances.  And it is important when we decide to combine finances, or households, to learn upfront what we are getting into.

Trust is paramount.  Many people do not want to divulge information that is not “picture perfect”.  Therefore, if you are ready and willing to get intimate with your partner, make sure you create a non-threatening environment, and approach the topic cautiously.

How to Increase Financial Intimacy and Trust

1. Understand that most spending is emotional
2. Behavior that needs to change around money may take time ( like kicking a bad habit)
3. Becoming intimate about finances should feel safe and is not a blame game
4. Know where you both stand with this free assessment Love and Money Financial Self-Assessment
5. Be honest with yourself and your partner
6. Make a list of financial goals that you can both work on and be accountable for Together.

Read more here:

The post Financial Intimacy appeared first on California CPA and Forensic Accounting Financial Mentor.

If you need further guidence, or have any accounting needs regarding these, please do not hesitate to contact me here.

Wills & Trusts

Click Here to learn How to Write a Will

And make sure you check out this post to ensure that Your Will is Valid in California

Have questions about Wills & Trusts?  Contact me for a free consultation!

Estates

When dealing with estates, it is important to know and understand the Rules and Regulations.  This information may vary per state, but here are some basics to get you started:

The post Wills, Estates, and Probate appeared first on California CPA and Forensic Accounting Financial Mentor.