But, here’s what I say: Why wait until someone is gone? If you really love someone so much, let them know now! Well, maybe that’s not for everyone but, I decided it’s for me.

I have a tattoo that I got 6 years ago that was left black and grey with my Mom’s name in it. If you’ve been reading for awhile you probably saw it on the Twitter Tat Tour.  I also have a “Milo” tattoo for my baby nugget.  Today I decided to get the tattoo for my Mom colored in…Finally.  But, I decided to add my Brother’s name to it, Brett.

I Love my Brother, obviously.  But, I appreciate him almost equally.  My Brother and his wife took me in when I was a teenager  and raised me for my last few years of teen-hood, and gave me a sense of normalcy in my life that I really just never had.  He’s always been their for me.  Stood behind me, as if he were my own Father but, always maintained the fun relationship of brother-sister.  In a strange way he is like my Brother and My Dad.   When Milo was born we jokingly referred to him as “Grandpa”.

He didn’t know I was doing this.  When I sent him the picture today it was safe to say he was shocked.  But, I know he appreciates the gesture of it.

Sometimes I really suck at letting people know how I feel about them, so this is my way of letting him know I love and appreciate him.  And now? I’m pretty certain I’m his favorite sibling! Ha!

Fast Forward a few years to present day.  I loathe Summer. I think it’s a dirty little develish whore. Summer in Sacramento can be cruel some days. With many 105 days its just too disgusting to even think about  venturing out into the world with a toddler. I tried it one day and burned MJ on his car-seat and felt like an asshole after that and really try to limit going out on those kinds of days anymore.

Summer doesn’t mean drinking my weekends away, where my biggest worry was what bathing suit I’d wear for the entire weekend or to have Pina Coladas or Margaritas- or both.

Summer, I can do with out you these days. Fall is my new favorite season. Cute denim jeans tucked into awesome boots, or dress with cardigans pulled over them with leggings peaking out underneath. Oh, and Pumpkin Spice Lattes of course.

I’m really loathing Sacramento Summer’s so much that I dream about moving to a cooler climate all the time.  Where its a nice cool 75 degrees with a few hot days peppered in. Moving would be a dream come true.  Eff you summer, and your hot disgusting ways!

My life has been shit the past 5 days.  Milo has had something up with him that has made him have diarrhea for several days now. [don't worry, I took him into the doctors this morning for them to double check him and tell me nothing new, he's a kid with a shitting issue.]

Anyway- right before we jammed out the door to the doctors this morning Rocky decided he was feeling left out and decided to shit all over the house, diarrhea. RAD!!! More SHIT!

My House? reeks of shit. I have multiple scented candles burning their little hearts out, they don’t even mask the smell of turd that is aromatically invading this house. I decided to keep Rocky locked in the kitchen for the rest of the day, in case he had any more accidents, that way it’d be easier to clean up. I notcied right as I was serving MJ dinner that Rocky had a tiny bit of turd stuck on to his back side. Mentally Noted it, and moved on with feeding Milo dinner. Bad move on my part.

20 minutes goes by and I’m sitting at the table eating my dinner, twittering, while Milo is playing with Rocky in the kitchen. All of a sudden I hear Milo wining. Not unusual for this time of the evening.  Then he comes up and rubs my arm crying, look down to discover Rocky’s turdlet hanging from MJ’s finger smearing it on my arm. :::::::commence insane freakout::::::::

OMFG this is my life. Shit, shit, and more shit. I’m surrounded with shit. I feel like I have way too many stories about poop that I could only wish were made up but, they are soooo my reality; sadly.

It doesn’t happen too often but, It’s always awesome when it does happen.

Saturday morning Mercer got up early, headed to the grocery store, and made us a weird little breakfast.  It was pretty awesome.  A pancake, with a slice of bacon in the middle of it. ( oh yea, I started eating meat again in small doses ) It was fun, he even made the ‘Mickey Mouse’ pancake for MJ.

Then he was telling me how his Dad used to always make him and his siblings Mickey Mouse pancakes for breakfast.  Then  I was thinking back and remembered that my Dad used to make us pancakes in the shape of our initials.  My Dad was never really involved in our lives but, I totally remember that happening.

Thus: Dads are good at breakfast!

That you never get to have them sleep with you on the nights you want extra cuddles.

Or, when they aren’t feeling too good and you’d like to have them in your bed to make sure they are OK all night long.

MJ hasn’t been feeling well the past couple days. All I want is to swoop him up, and put him in bed with me so I can listen to every breath he takes, stroke the hair that lays on his forehead,  and make sure he’s just fine.  But, he won’t sleep with me.  The longest I’ve got him to stay in our bed since he was six months old is about an hour.  It makes me sad sometimes.

Sleep well little bub, and Mommy is here waiting if you need or want me. xo

We decided on Puerto Rico. It was between there and Mexico. The drug ring/war stuff going on down there scared us so we decided not to go there like we were originally planning. Bonuses of going to Puerto Rico are: No passports required, and they are very US friendly, and uses US currency.

Now here is where my multi-faceted anxiety comes in:

• Where to stay? Do we want to stay in the main tourist area, San Juan, or do we want to venture down somewhere else like, Fajardo. We do not want to rent a car while there and heard it’s a good idea to do if you stay in Fajardo.  But, we aren’t looking to do much while there, eat, drink, beach, repeat.  The main reason I want to stay down there is because I’d like to take a day trip to Flemenco Beach. It’s supposed to be one of the best beaches in the world according to the Discovery Channel.  If we stayed in San Juan we most likely would never see Flemenco Beach and would probably end up spending less money.
• Next major anxiety?  Leaving My child for 5 days.  This is killing me. To the point where I keep contemplating the trip all together. My fears are insane. I’m insane. I fear things like an Tsunami will hit, kill us, MJ has no parents now.  Or I fear that something will happen to him and I won’t be able to get an immediate flight out of PR to get back to the states.  Last fear, that he will think we’ve abandoned him.  =(
• Then I have the added little things like finding a house sitter and some one to take care of the dog for 5 days.

So, I have a lot to figure out and get over. I’m determined not to let my anxiety win. We deserve a vacation, baby free.  We will see how it goes.  I just need to book our airfare ASAP then I will GO. I’ll have to go.

Really, How can I let myself miss out on this beach?

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In other news, I ate like a fatty all weekend long. Anything I wanted- I ate. So. Not. Good.

A few hip-pics from Saturday.