Was going to blog on Friday, but I finished H-W.I.P. instead.

I know, right? Priorities K.T. Priorities! Sheesh.

Then, I was going to blog on Saturday because I managed a whopping 17358 words on Friday to reach my 80689 total for H. But then I thought, is that a reason to blog? I mean, it’s just a first draft. It doesn’t matter that I can push a first draft out at the speed of … fingers. The point is that it’ll take at least another six months before that draft becomes an even potentially decent book/story.

So, then I felt down.

Yes, that’s right. You heard it here first. Me and my constant stream of OMG YOU CAN DO IT?

We also get down on ourself (I don’t care if that’s not really a word, it is now).

The title of this post is very accurate – and relates to my series of Writer Self-Esteem posts in a major way.

When it comes down to it – when everything is stripped away from me: my support network, my CPs, my betas, and my slowly gained self-confidence. When all that is gone, I’m left with me and my own #writemotivation.

Do I have the drive and the will to succeed? Do I love my characters and their worlds and their stories enough to continue, regardless of anything else that might interrupt? Do I truly want to be a writer?

I go through this rather often, but usually it’s short lived and I thwap myself on the head and tell self: Self! Stop it! Write or the people in your brain will drive you insane! (And though this wasn’t supposed to rhyme, it’s cool that it does.)

Usually, it only takes me a few minutes to squelch that doubt and continue on my determined way.

But not this weekend. Whether I pushed it too far with finishing a draft in a week (not my fault, my brain wouldn’t stop and my wrists hurt). Whether I should have thwapped myself in a timely manner so I didn’t start thinking about the finished work and how much overhauling it was going to need (I require at least two months away from a finished wip to gain perspective). Or, Whether I simply started feeling lost in this big and currently confusing publishing future…

It doesn’t matter.

The point is – this weekend I floundered.

I’m okay today – I’ve relegated H to the back of my mind and will attack it some time after April. I’m working on a critique for an awesome CP, and I’ve decided that since I’ve finished my February to do list with so much time to spare (thank you aching wrists of doom), I’m going to take this time to do some much missed reading – and catch up on campaign blogs I’ve seriously neglected this last week.

To all of my friends who compliment me far too readily. To all of the wonderful #writemotivation participants (without whom I think I’d sometimes be useless) -

I’m just me. I’m not super at this. I’m not confident in anything but my determination.

And I have no idea what I’m doing.

But I do love writing. And even when I’m down that, soul fact can make me smile.

Thank you to everyone for making it easier even though you might not realize it.

What kicks you in the butt when you need it most? Do you have any tricks to get yourself up out of the doldrums? When it comes down to you, and you alone, what makes writing worth continuing?

~

If you haven’t signed up and would like some twitter butt kicking from #writemotivation. Don’t forget to sign up by the 28th!

Yes, I meant soul fact I punny

Hey there lovely people

Last month in this post I announced that due to popular motivational needs, we’d continue #writemotivation indefinitely and in off months make it a little more… enticing. We decided that #writemotivation wasn’t a one off thing but:

• Writemotivation should be an all the time thing. You don’t just need it once or every now and again – a constant stream of it can help lift your head on a bad day, or remind you the next day that other people know how you feel and will cheer you on. We’ll continue the hashtag for anyone who likes that #writemotivation cheer anyway.
• A Writemotivation Goal-Check month every other month might be a fantastic idea.

March is a Goal-Check month.

What is a Goal-Check month? 

Apart from the general cheering we do on a daily basis, a Goal-Check Month is where you set goals for yourself and hold yourself accountable to them. You let us know what those goals are, and report during the month how you think you’re going with them. This helps hold yourself accountable.

The aim here isn’t to compete with each other – it’s to compete against ourselves (and that pesky inner-critic and procrastination demon that try to defeat us when we least want them to).

To that end, the Goal-Check months have rewards for personally succeeding.

In these months, there are rules. Don’t worry – they’re completely doable.

The Rules:

1. Make a list of realistic goals for the month – and achieve them.
2. Make a Blog Post every week (preferably Monday, but if you don’t post on Mondays just add it to the next day you would normally post ). This is to help us keep tabs on our own progress, and for others to cheer us on if it’s a difficult week. Please link to the post in the #writemotivation hashtag
3. Visit your #writemotivation team mates blogs, and participate in the #writemotivation hashtag to cheer people on
4. Please fill in the form here:

Once this done you’re ‘registered’

It’d be nice if we all subscribed to each other’s blogs, but I don’t want to make that a rule, just a courtesy.

But wait you say! You said rewards!

First. Back up. I did say rewards, but you need to remember that this isn’t about competition and first or second place, this is about competing entirely with yourself – and winning.

The Rewards

So far, this is what we have and I hope it gives a good example of what we’re thinking of.

• K.T. Hanna – In depth crit of up to 10 pages (from anywhere in a novel/short story). In the month of April I will have time for around 4 of these.
• Zeny Williams – 1 x Beta reading (specifically good at finding plot holes) – limit to be defined
• Jacob Adams – 1 x Beta read (review) – limit to be defined
• Alessandra Hinlo – 1 x  Beta read first 1-3 chapters.
• Becca Weston – 1 x Beta chapter/s (anywhere in a book that the author feels help is needed) and/or Query crit help – limit to be defined
• Jamie Dement (Lady Jai) – 1 x Beta first chapter

While I feel it doesn’t need to be said, I’ll put it out there just in case.
#writemotivation is a cheer squad. We want you to succeed in your goals. Thus, any critique or beta given, will also be aimed towards succeeding. They’ll be honest and see the good and the bad.

So far we have rewards for around nine people.

If anyone else would like to offer beta/crit or technical blog services – or some other reward you feel speaks directly to besting our damned writer’s ego – please feel free to let me know on the sign up form.

If I have listed what you’re offering incorrectly, please thwap me on twitter

Also – don’t forget today is the last day to sign up for Rach Write’s Platform Building Campaign. DO IT!

I promise to get around to my groups in the next few days. Some of them are so BIG this time!

I’m really looking forward to March and cheering a heap of people on!

This is our icon. Please give credit for it:  Header image and thumbnail photograph by Hugh Lee and licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0. Hover credit is fine.

Header image and thumbnail photograph by Hugh Lee and licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0. http://www.flickr.com/photos/sahlgoode/

Please link back to this post if you don’t mind. Signups will close on February 28th and I’ll post the list up on February 29th.

Are you looking forward to #writemotivation? Please let me know what you think!

Today is the Origins BlogFest day – cohosted by DL Hammons, Katie Mills, Alex J. Cavanaugh, and Matthew MacNish.

On Monday, February 13^th, you should post your own origin story.  Tell us all where your writing dreams began. It all started somewhere and we want you to tell us your own, unique, beginnings.   

I really like the concept behind this BlogFest.

Everyone has a different story, and mine always makes me smile.

I grew up with my mother reading me Enid Blyton, and marveling at the worlds she created within my own. I believe this would now be referred to as contemporary MG But it didn’t take me long to start reading on my own after I started school and I devoured pretty much every book I could get my hands on.

Then I started writing, because no book I read drew pictures in my head that were a match for my imagination.

Now, I should probably note here, that I had recurring nigthmares as a child. In one of them I woke up just before the car I was locked into rolled down a hill and jetisoned into a wide river. In one of the others I woke up every time my father turned into a monster after checking for intruders.

And when I was about eight, I had a real story idea. Having just learned the meaning of the word Deluge, I wanted to use it. So I did. This piece was titled Ghostly Deluge and it took up about sixteen handwritten A4 pages. (Even now wanting to call a story something usually gives me plotbunnies, but I digress).

We were always encouraged to show our teachers things we created, and so I was more than excited to show her my story.

Because who doesn’t love ghost stories? About ghosts in the attic because one of the twins fell down the attic stairs a hundred years ago and died due to a broken neck? How the new owners forbade their twin daughter from going up there, and locked the door. And then, how the girls saw the door open when their parents were late home on a stormy evening, and walked up the stairs.

But this time both of them died.

I was so proud to get the story out of my head. But my teacher didn’t react that way. She got worried.

The thing is, my mother is artistic. She can write, she can draw, she can sing. I can’t draw to save my life, but I can write and sing. My mother, from as early as I can remember told me other stories. Not ones written in books, but ones she came up with herself. Sometimes she’d use picture books and read versions of stories to me I didn’t realize were hers until many years later.

So my mother’s response to my teacher’s panic was to shrug and tell her not to worry. Her daughter would be a writer one day.

That was when I decided she was right. I would be a writer and I’d come up with the best stories about ghosts in attics ever. And even though I then went through my lawyer phase for about 15 years (long Perry Mason influenced story there for another time), I never forgot wanting to write. I never forgot I could write, and in certain ways, I never did stop writing.

Here I am – writing a lot and loving it.

I can’t imagine not being a writer. The voices in my head would drive me insane.

How about you?

~

Psst – don’t forget to pop over and check Rach Writers Beta Partner thing

So – it’s been a whirlwind (hectic) week for me. I finished my 3rd draft edits on Wednesday. What a feeling. It’s now been sent out to a bundle of beta readers.

Instead of sitting and contemplating certain doom, I decided (and yes I decided this when I wrote up my year’s goals in January) to focus on a story that’s been plaguing me since November. Let’s call said work H for now.

So Thursday and Friday I poured about 8-9k words into outlining the plot, detailing my characters/places/things, expanding the plot and then point by point outlining.

I wasn’t going to write on Friday.

Notice I said wasn’t – not didn’t.

My husband took me to an awesome restaurant on Friday night. This is where the Fish comes in (because I know it had you all wondering). It’s a beautiful (as fresh seafood as you can get in Kansas) Seafood restaurant. Instead of said fish, being that I’m from BRISBANE AUSTRALIA, I had a filet. O. M. G. It was the best steak I have EVER had.

And the dessert – so happy hubby shared it with me.

So, I arrived at home all happy from food and I said to myself – self I said: You should write a bit.

And then Jami was all – yeah, you should write. Now I know this is self-serving of her because she only wants me to write so she gets to read my woeful first drafts, but still, it’s kind of nice, right?

Then I thought – well TDP is completely present tense. If I’m going to be serious about writing – shouldn’t I write in alternating tenses and pov’s? I mean that’s well rounded, right?

So I began writing in past tense. Do you have any idea how painful it is to write in past tense, when you’ve written an entire trilogy and edited each book at least once, if not three times… ALL IN PRESENT TENSE? I’ll let you think about that for a moment. Feel free to laugh at me.

Instead of the one chapter I was aiming for, I managed 5.5k. I’m not sure how – although the copious amounts of caffeine I had during the day probably helped. I’m also loathe to read what I wrote – but that’s besides the point.

I managed to get myself 7% through my H WIP today. I’m so enormously happy about that, it’s not funny.

I also need to thank people for awards. I’m not a huge award person. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate them and feel awesome getting them, but I have to be the worst ever person to post about them. I mean to, and then another topic comes up that I want to post.

You get the idea.

Brenna, thank you. Debbie, thank you. Barbara, thank you. Mark, thank you.

I truly appreciate that you felt I deserved any type of award. Sincerely . Thank you.

I’m almost certain I’m forgetting someone and I profusely apologize, please feel free to thwap me on the head.  Hopefully, I’ll get around to adding the awesome badges and even listing some more boring crap about myself for people to use as fodder for falling asleep.

#Writemotivation tweeps and potential tweeps – I’ll be putting up a post next week for the March Month sign up

A note to Jocelyn, Jai and Brenna. Stop making me cry – even happy tears aren’t fair However, you may continue to kick MAJOR BUTT

If you’re not yet participating in Origins BlogFest and would love to tell everyone about the time you scrawled a story in crayon on your mom’s wall (trust me, my sister swears her son did it. But she’s a compulsive liar, so I never believe her). Then you should pop on over here and SIGN UP FOR ORIGINS BLOG FEST of awesome.

And then, of course, and I’m totally not biased at all – there is the lovely Writer’s Platform Building Campaign the 4th Edition being held over at Rach Writes. You can still sign up. And Should. NO EXCUSES. Except buying houses, having babies, getting married or losing internet.

Just in case no one noticed, I’m on a caffeine/writing high. I feel extraordinarily good. But there are two things I’d like my friends to tell me next time I have this much caffeine. You need to say: KT – for your sake and others, don’t write blog posts on a caffeine high.

Okay? Got it? Good.

How goes your writing? Are you as bad about award thank yous as I am? Do you like fish even though you live inland or are you as scared as me to eat it and therefore opt for steak instead?

Have you ever been so caffeinated you’re jittery?

Share – let me know

PS

Feb Progress so far:

• Finish TDP-1′s third draft
• Plot H
• Write H
• Critique for M
• Critique for H
•  Don’t take on too many crits

because everyone loves chocolate

Last night I finished the 3rd draft of TDP-1.

I’ll rewind a moment. Towards the end of  January my CPs returned many pages of feedback to me. I love my CPs, I truly do. They pointed out the parts they loved, and yet told me in no uncertain terms – about the things my story lacks.

After compiling all the feedback and categorizing it between characterization and Backstory/Sensory details. I arranged the points in order of the story’s progression and started my revision.

So many subtle things, small inclusions, tightening, and a few complete scene rewrites. Not to mention darlings axed everywhere I found them.

Of course, I’m scared I’ve ruined it completely. So, I’ll sit here, trying not to chew my nails while I wait for feedback from my 2nd round of betas.

But I will mark yet another thing off my February goal list

• Finish TDP-1′s third draft
• Plot H
• Write H
• Critique for M
• Critique for H
•  Don’t take on too many crits

Today, I will tackle plotting H. Hopefully that means I’ll begin writing on Friday. We’ll see how it goes though. Sometimes it takes me a lot longer to plot. In the end, it’s a good thing.  The more time I spend on my outlining/detailing/plotting process – the less chance I’ll have plot holes to fill. #writemotivation gives me some much needed fire, too.

H has been trying to distract me from TDP since December. Now is the time to hammer out the first draft so it’ll leave me the hell alone.

Overall – I’m happy with how the process for TDP is going. I hope to be able to query in April/May (after I rip my Query letter apart and, you know, make it not suck).

The journey? So many pitfalls. All this frustration. Time like you wouldn’t believe. Hundreds of hours of work. And at the end, there’s still no guarantee an agent will love it. Even if they do, there’s still no guarantee someone will want to publish it.

But you know what? I don’t care. Fixing, polishing and improving my story is like no other feeling. Even if my betas and myself are the only people who ever know how much I love these characters – they’ve helped me grow and I will never regret the time spent.

While I query, I plan on finishing the drafts of the other 2 books and writing at least one or two more. The more I write, the more I practice – the easier it’ll become to tell my stories.

How do you feel about the whole writing process? How do you deal with it? What about the time sinks and the frustrations you meet along the way? Do you ever wonder if it’s worth it?

~

If you’re still thinking about it, don’t. Pop over to Rachael’s blog and sign up Here – add your name to the list Here.

It’s time for Rachael Harrie’s 4th Writer’s Platform-Building Campaign. Yes, you read that right. She will be holding two in 2012. The first in February and the second in August.

The first – starts today!

So head on over HERE and sign up for the awesome experience and camaraderie!

Once you’ve signed up for it, make sure to pop over and add your name to the list of participants here. Remember to add yourself to as many or as few genres as you like. YA as a whole, MG as a whole, Adult, Sci-Fi etc etc

The key dates are as follows:

Key Dates

• This Fourth Campaign will be a mini-Campaign, and will run from today until Saturday, March 17, 2012.
• The List of Campaigners will close on Wednesday, February 15th, so make sure you sign up before then.
• The First Campaigner Challenge will begin on Monday, February 20th and end on Saturday, February 25th.
• The Second Campaigner Challenge will begin on Monday, March 5th and end on Saturday, March 10th.

The Campaign will end on March 17th

This time, Rachael has a team of people. Please make sure to visit her helpers and let them know you appreciate them: Michael Offutt, Ozlem Yikici, and Steph Schmidt.

And I’ll be helping Rachael with your Friendly Friday Noticeboards.

She’s included a form to make the process easier. If you have something you’d like to list on the Friday Noticeboards – please fill in the form here.

Having participated in the third challenge in August 2011, I can confidently say these Campaigns are an amazing experience. I’ve met so many fantastic people and developed friendships I’ll have for years to come.

It’s always nice to know other people understand the voices in our heads

Let’s make this Campaign count! And don’t forget to use #writecampaign hashtag on Twitter!

#writemotivation tweeps! This is one of the best things you can do to motivate yourself. Go for it! Sign up.

I look forward to seeing everyone during the Campaign and getting to know some new faces.

~

Google Friend Connect (GFC)

One thing to remember is on March 1st, GFC will retire. For those of us (like me) not on the Blogger Network, this means no pretty little sidebar with number counts. While Networked Blogs is still an option, I’ve placed a little Google Reader icon over my GFC list, so I don’t forget come March 1st.

Google Reader shouldn’t (hopefully) be interrupted. Considering how many blogs I follow, I really hope this is true

I’d love to know what other ways people are going to deal with this GFC retire-thingi! Please, share your wisdom.

Meredith Barnes from Lowenstein Associates is doing it again! Head over to her blog and check out the awesome prizes she is offering for helping spread the word about her client’s work.

Being kind for the sake of being kind doesn’t help someone improve their skills. Being honest does.

Although I’ve known this for a long time, it recently hit home. I realized not everyone is lucky enough to receive good constructive criticism. Yesterday, I saw something that opened my eyes.

This post is inspired by a random piece I saw where the writer asked for people to tell them what they honestly thought. The piece was badly written and confusing in its expression. Editing was non-existent. Repetition, missing words, and the amount of I in the piece made my head hurt.

I scrolled to the feedback expecting to see some people say that the story had promise (and the story did), but the execution lacked and it would be much better if the writer worked on a,b and c when polishing it.

Instead, what I saw was: “Oh, this is great.” “I love this piece. You’re so good.” “You’re getting better every time I read something.”

Now this last could be true, so I went back through some pieces and found that no, the writer wasn’t improving and had constantly received this type of praise.

Of course they’re not going to improve if no one takes a red pen to their work and shows them where they’re going wrong. If all they get is a pat on the back from everyone who reads their work, they’ll never improve and will live with a false sense of security and confidence that will crush them when they display their bad writing in any sort of serious environment.

If you’re doing this to be kind – the person you’re lying to (and yes, while nice, it’s still a lie) thinks you really mean this compliment. They don’t think they have to practice because everyone thinks their work is just ‘great’!

How do you solve this?

If you’re a writer:

Don’t surround yourself with yes people. Find those people who’re willing to be honest with you. Make sure they’re not dicks. You don’t want those either. What you want are people who will point out both the positive and the negative.

For example: I love the way you describe this, I can see it in my head. But this other paragraph doesn’t work because of a, b and c.

So, they give you some positive reinforcement, but point out where you’ve gone wrong and offer some suggestions as to how to fix it. You might only get one uplifting comment per 5000 words (or maybe an overall positive thing), but they’ll be there. And the better you get with practice, the more balance there’ll be.

Deal with your critiques. Read them and step away so you can look at them in a more objective light. They’re there to help you.

If you’re a critiquer:

Don’t be nice just to be nice. Be honest. Offer suggestions on how to fix things, or why they sound wrong.

Make sure you find (actively look for) positive and negative aspects. Don’t be a dick and only point out the doom and gloom, with no hope or solution in sight.

If you’re a reader giving an opinion:

Don’t cushion what you feel when you read. Make sure the writer understands you might trip over sections, or that them leaving out a phrase has made the paragraph confusing. Don’t just say: Good job, mate.
[Edit] For clarification: this is a reader who is NOT a writer

There’s a fine line between encouragement and lying. Don’t be cruel and hamper someone’s progress by telling them something is good when it isn’t.

Sometimes being cruel IS being kind.

How do you deal with crits? What about giving them? Do you have a criteria to go by? Are you an honest critiquer or do you prefer to shy away from them?

~

Also check out the Origins Blogfest here, and Rach Writes 4th Campaign here.

“Hey you”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. That line – back four pages. Go rewrite it- it’s WRONG.”

“But it’s the first draft…”

“That doesn’t matter – GO. DO. IT. NOW. Or you’ll FAIL!”

~~

Perhaps not verbatim, but similar to what I hear (or used to hear) in my head on a very regular basis. As I write. When I pause. When I send something out for someone to read. Even when I’m watching television.

All. The. Time.

While you’re writing a first draft, the pesky self-doubting inner-editor often steps in with whispers of how to fix something straight away. To stop your flow, go back and make corrections it’s suddenly thought of.

I know I used to get caught up on this. The time I spent going back and fiddling with a line until I was happy with it, only to wake up in the middle of the night and realize I needed to fix it some more. It took me a long time to realize – but I was too close to my work for my interim edits to do anything constructive to my work. Most of the time? I just made it worse.

Now, I’ll caveat this with my habitual: This is how things work for me, they may not work the same way for you.

Taming the Pesky Inner-Editor

Write the draft without editing.

Easier said than done, right?

How could I say such a thing? Easily.

I, like many other writers I know, had issues finishing a project.  My tendency to go back and rewrite before I finished the piece, made actually completing one a very rare occurrence.

Now, you’ve made the decision to BE a writer. You’ve given yourself a list and (hopefully) figured out your groove.

Sit down, look at your W.I.P. and glare at it. Yes, that’s right – glare. The moment it tries to make you go back and edit; the moment it whispers in your ear that what you’ve written is crap, mediocre or never going to be good enough – That’s the moment you need to, quite literally, tell it to: F*** Off. (If you don’t like swearing, then tell it to piss off, but I find being forceful works better).

Why?

While everyone is different, you can’t beat the fact that an empty page is empty. By this I mean, if you want to be able to go back and polish, edit and send it out to beta readers – you need a complete story with which to do it.

Focus on getting that first draft down. Don’t let the inner editor pull you back and bog you down. Interrupting the original flow you have can stagnate your writing until it trickles to a stop.

You can always fix a bad sentence, but you can’t do anything to an unwritten one.

Naturally it helps to have your plot nailed down. But holes can be filled, and character inconsistencies corrected. Words can be replaced and paragraphs rephrased.

For me, getting the words down is of paramount importance. The rest I can fix after the fact.

Pesky Inner-Editor is another of the things you have to do yourself. You can get cheered on somewhere like #writemotivation, or by your crit partners, even by your family. But the person who has to tell that annoying voice to shut up – is you.

I often reward mine with the promise of letting it empty a few red pens and highlighters when I go over my first draft in paper-edit form.

Whatever you have to do to get the words down? It’s worth it.

How do you deal with the Inner-Editor? Do you have one? Does it get in the way of completing drafts or have you figured out another way to deal with it?

This is the last #writemotivation Monday… for January I did get a lot of positive feedback for continuing the hashtag and its motivational oomph! So, that’s what we’re going to do.

February will be an all out cheer each other on month. Kind of like January was. Feel free to blog about your goals and motivations, but please don’t feel obligated.

You’re welcome to post your goals for February here. If I get enough people posting them – I’ll do up a post listing them so you can hold yourself accountable to them and make it easier for others to cheer you on.

In a week or two, I’ll post a new sign up for March’s #writemotivation month along with a list of ‘prizes’ for those who achieve their personal goals and participate in cheering others on to achieve theirs.

Remember – it’s not about beating the other people, it’s about winning over your inner critic and achieving your personal best at what you set out to do.

My Goals for January were:

1.Finish the paper edits of books 2 & 3.
2. Start 2nd pass of Book 1.
3.Keep up with my Google Reader
4. Make at least 2 blog posts per week

Granted, though I kept up with my Google Reader, I think I’d like to comment more. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say, you know?

My personal writing goals for January were:

Paper Edit TDP-2
Outline H
Paper Edit TDP-3
Start next pass on TDP-1

I also worked on the revision of my Query letter – which was for March

All in all, January was a very productive month for me. Thank you to everyone who cheered me on in #writemotivation even while I was sick.

In February my #writemotivation goals will be as follows:

• Finish TDP-1′s third draft
• Plot H
• Write H
• Critique for M
• Critique for H
•  Don’t take on too many crits

I’m mentioning the last one because I have a habit of taking on more than I can chew and well, overwhelming myself.

So, those are my goals so far this year. Make sure to pop over to Rach Writes and keep an eye out for the next Platform Building Campaign.

How has your January been? What are your plans for February?

Regardless of how you think you did? I believe you deserve some chocolate: