Kudzu Soup

Harrison's New Look

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 12:10:00 +0000

Isn't he cute with his new glasses? He needs them for reading and school work. They look dark in this pic because they have the transitions lenses that get dark when you go outside. He looks super smart and handsome when he has them on with his school uniform and has taken the time to brush his hair (he's a typical boy and doesn't think it is necessary to brush your hair!)

His football team was finally successful this past weekend. A good thing, since it was their first regular season game. The first two were pre-season games which they tied 0-0 and 18-18. But they won this game 48-0! Are they that good or is the other team that bad? I think it is a little of both - they are pretty good, but the team they played was also pretty bad. So I hope they don't get big heads. This week they go back to Saraland. They played them in the first pre-season game (tied 0-0). Hopefully, the few extra weeks of practice will make the difference. Of course, Saraland has had a few extra weeks to practice also, so it could be an exciting game. It is kind of funny - Harrison's coaches keep telling us that he is too nice on the football field, and that he could really be a good player if he would just get more aggressive. Chad blames the niceness on me and tells them they have to make him mad. Which is true. He is pretty much the biggest kid on the field and it is almost like he is afraid of hurting the other boys, but if one of them ever makes him mad he is almost unstoppable. I told him I was going to have to start being mean to him on Saturday mornings before the games, but I don't think I have it in me to be mean to him. So I guess he does get his niceness from me. Nice or not, he is also one of the most attentive and polite boys on the team (always a plus in a mother's book!). The coaches never have to worry about him horse playing on the side lines or not listening when they are giving instructions. He is always the first one up on the line when it is time to run the play. He always yells "Yes, Sir!" when they give them instructions, and he never teases or gets into arguments with the other boys. In fact, if one of them starts running his mouth Harrison pretends to ignore it and the boy finds himself in the dirt on the next play. I think that if he can just find a way to tap into that strength and aggression on every play without getting a bad attitude that he'll be a great all-around player.

Doctor's Visits from August 21, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 14:13:00 +0000

This seems to be the week for doctor's visits. We have now all been to the doc this week, luckily no flu or anything serious. Here's the run down on how we all are doing:

It is now 4 weeks until Ava is scheduled to be born. I had another doctor's appointment yesterday (only 2 left!) She said my blood pressure looked good (122/74) and my weight is OK - I lost a pound this week bringing my total weight gain back down to 11 pounds. Mostly due to the nausea early in the pregnancy and the horrible indigestion later in the pregnancy. Still, it is much better than the 35 or so I gained with Harrison and then never lost. Of course, I started out much heavier this time, but we won't talk about that. Ava's heartbeat sounded good, and my belly is measuring normally. In other words, it is still getting bigger even though I'm not gaining much weight. To tell the truth, I think the weight is migrating from my brain to my stomach because I can't remember anything these days!

They also did one final ultrasound. Some of you may remember that previous ultrasounds indicated that Ava had a flap in her urethra. Nothing to worry about, just something that they might have to go in and remove once she is born (a non-invasive procedure through the urethra). So they did another ultrasound today. They tell by how dilated the tube is, and the ultrasound showed that the tube is still dilated, but not much so they may not have to do the procedure after all (usually these things go away on their own). She said that once Ava is born, the pediatrician would do his check-up and probably order a renal scan that would determine if the procedure was necessary. So we will wait and see on that. Everything else looked great - her head is down which is normal when you get this close to the due date, and they are estimating that she weighs 5 pounds 13 ounces, so she may not make it to Harrison's 8'12". I think they say babies gain about 1/2 pound a week at this point, so she would only be around 7'13". Once again she had her hand and arm up in front of her face which she has done during every ultrasound, so the ultrasound tech is predicting that she will probably sleep that way after she is born.

Chad was sick early in the week and went back to see his doctor. His stomach was bothering him again, so the doctor put him on a new medicine. He was on prescription prilosec. I don't know the name of the new one, but it seems to be helping. The doctor also gave him a diet to try. You may have heard of it - it is called the Sugar Busters diet. Basically you lower your intake of carbs, almost eliminate the sugar, and increase the fiber. No sugar (except what is naturally found in fresh fruit), nothing white (no potatoes, no rice, no white flour products), no fried food. From what I've read, they mainly want you to eat food that is as natural and unprocessed as possible. Makes sense to me. But kind of tough to stick to. We are going to try it though - I figure it can't hurt me to do it with him, and it will be much easier for me than him as I actually like most of the things they recommend you eat and I don't eat a lot of sugary stuff anyway.

Harrison has been complaining about headaches a lot lately, especially since school started. We thought at first it was probably just sinus / allergy related (and the doctor said it could be), but we decided to take him in for an eye exam just in case. Chad and I both started having problems about his age. So we went today and he does indeed need glasses. Just to read and do school work. Which is good - I would hate for him to have to wear them out on the football field! His glasses should be in sometime next week so I'll have to try and remember to post a pic of him modelling them!

We also took him to the pediatrician for a check-up. He said everything looks good, that the headaches could be from the eye strain, but it is more likely from a little bit of dehydration. He is a very active kid, and a lot of times forgets to take time to drink stuff during the day. Plus during school they are limited to just a few little water breaks.

In other news, Harrison's football team had their first pre-season game last Saturday. They tied 0-0, so I guess both teams need to do more work on their offense. They have one more pre-season this week, then next week starts their regular games. Like last year, Harrison is a starter on both offense and defense, but he says he prefers defense. He is probably the biggest kid on his team again (height wise) and he is extremely muscular. His playing is much better this year - he has a LOT more confidence and is not nearly as afraid to hit and get hit. He is also faster and more coordinated. I think the martial arts has a lot to do with that. And his martial arts is getting better as well. He really likes it, I think even more than football. He made it through the first week of school and seems to be settling into the routine. Last week, he was very tired and grumpy every afternoon, but this week is much better for him. And so far he hasn't complained about doing homework.

I guess the verdict is that overall we are all fairly healthy! Good news, especially considering everything that is going around these days.

Housewife from August 19, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 14:11:00 +0000

I never, ever thought I would be a housewife. Or stay-at-home mom. Whatever you want to call it. I always thought that it was an outdated way of living, a threat to my independence and an insult to my womanness. Funny how getting older changes your perspective on things.

So I am starting the next phase of my life. Ava will be here in exactly 4 weeks (unless she decides to come early) and I absolutely cannot wait to see her little face. I am also impatient to be done with the discomfort of pregnancy, but mostly I am just ready for her to be here. I decided to switch from a regular schedule at work to a call-in basis. I'll go in if someone calls out sick or takes some vacation time. And I am planning on signing up to substitute at Harrison's school. So I will still be working some, just not every day.

Overall, I feel really good about the decision. At first, I kind of felt like a sell-out to the women's rights movement. It is the old controversy of staying home versus having a career. I always fell on the working mom side of the issue and kind of looked down my nose at homemakers. But it finally dawned on me that I am not a superwoman. There may be some out there, but I am not one of them. I can't work every day, cook a healthy meal every evening, take Harrison to all the activities he wants to do, keep the house clean... It makes me tired just thinking about it. And now we'll have a new baby! How do women do it? My house is a constant wreck and I am tired all the time! And there is no time or energy or for any personal interests I might have. It's insanity. I support equal rights for women for have believed for a while (and may have blogged about it) that the movement in some ways has made women's lives even harder because now most of us still have to keep up with the housework and all the traditional womanly duties as well as holding down our jobs. It's just too much. For me anyway. So I am going to try this and see how it works.

We will have to "tighten the belt" of course. But I think we'll be ok. I have so many plans! One thing I will NOT do is become one of these people who has to be at home in front of the soap operas every afternoon. I do want to be more Martha Stewartesque. She is awsome (and no, I don't care about those ridiculous criminal charges). So that is one of my goals - be more like Martha. She is the ideal homemaker - she can do anything! Cook, clean, sew, crafts, gardening... The list is endless. I am going to set myself on a cleaning schedule so my house will stay nice and straight for the first time in years. Maybe the first time ever. I am going to try out lots of new recipes. And spend some time doing things I enjoy, like sewing and crafts and organizing my million and one digital photos. And make digital scrapbooks. Actually keep up with my blog for a change. Spend more time with my family. Take care of a new baby. And not feel guilty about all the things I am too tired to get done. Very ambitious pland, I know. But I think I can do it.

Potpourri from May 24, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 14:09:00 +0000

Yesterday turned out to be a pretty good day. Got a little house cleaning done so I could feel good about myself for actually accomplishing something useful. Then I goofed off the rest of the day!

I had a necklace and a bracelet that had broken so Harrison and I restrung them. It did not start out as a mother / son project, but he kept sitting there asking questions and wanting to make a necklace so I handed him the beads and the tiger tail ( a nylon coated wire that is more flexible than regular wire and stronger than string) and told him to have at it. By the time he got them all strung he was bored and complaining that his back was hurting. Isn't it always that way with kids? They're so curious and want so much to "help." Then you let them and they see that it isn't nearly as interesting as they thought it would be. I like doing things like sewing and making jewelry not because it is exciting or especially fun, but because it is relaxing and helps soothe my nerves. I have problems with anxiety and tend to obsess over things, so repetitive tasks help keep my mind occupied.

I also worked on some homemade potpourri yesterday. Chad and Harrison gave me some roses for Mother's day that were starting to die. So I pulled the petals off and spread them out in the bottom of a cardboard box to dry. I also had some frozen strawberries left from a flat I bought a while back when they were on sale, so I put those in the oven and dried them. It is really easy to dry fruit or citrus peels that way - you just set the heat on about 150 degrees and leave them for 2-3 hours. In a few days my petals will be dry and I can put it all in a jar for storage. If you like it to be more fragrant, you can add a few drops of essential oil. I don't do this - I don't put it out in bowls or anything like that so it is not necessary. I like to put a handful in a small boiler with water and let it simmer on the stove. The smell is wonderful. You just have to make sure to check it every now and then or the water will all simmer out and the potpourri will burn to the bottom of the pot and smell terrible. Yes, I have done this once or twice. I am new to this potpourri making stuff and haven't tried roses or strawberries before so I am excited to see how it turns out. I have three jars that I made during Christmas that I love. They are made with clippings from my parents cedar Christmas tree, dried orange peels, and cinnamon sticks. Nice smell for the holidays, but also in the spring and summer to bring back holiday memories and thoughts of cooler days.

Today, I think I will get my sewing machine out and work on angel dolls. I started them last year to give to all the kids in the family for Christmas, but then never finished them. Maybe if I get started now I can have them all done for this Christmas!

Long rainy weekends from May 23, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 14:07:00 +0000

I think I've mentioned before that I like rainy days. Abnormal, I know. But I do like them. They send messages to your body telling it to slow down and relax. I always sleep better when it is raining, and I don't feel like I should be out doing something. Need to goto the grocery store? Oh well, it is raining, it can wait. Haven't washed the car in a while? Can't do it in the rain. I love it. And with this tropical whatever it is hanging out on the coast I get a whole weekend to move at a slower pace.

The problem? I don't know what to do first. Yes, I am going to clean my apartment this weekend. But I'm not going to try to do it all in one morning - I'm going to do a little each day. I have some sewing and crafting projects I want to work on, I want to get my pictures organized and start posting some, work on some digital scrapbook pages, spend hours at a time reading and napping... Wait! I'm filling up my long relaxing weekend already and it has just barely started!

OK - so here's the plan. I'll clean for a little bit every morning then spend the rest of the day doing whatever I feel like at the time. Only because if I don't clean first I won't do it at all. So now that I have I plan, I guess I'll get to it.

Twilight Series from May 20, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 14:06:00 +0000

Yes, I admit it. I got sucked into the Twilight series. I fought it for a while, but then we rented the movie which led to getting the book from the library. I was hesitant because the series is supposed to be for teenagers, but I found it to be just a mature as some of the other supernatural romantic thrillers that I have read. The only difference is that there aren't any sex scenes in Twilight. The good news - you don't miss them. It is just as steamy without them, maybe more so because the tension is there. And there are some good action sequences that manage to be exciting without falling into the trap of being gory. So I read Twilight and thought it was pretty good, especially if you are just reading for the sheer pleasure of reading. You don't have to think about it, the plot is not complicated and twisting, you can just sit back and relax and read. I can't believe that I just admitted that I sometimes like to read for no other reason than the fact that I like a good story, but I do.

Anyway, Twilight was pretty good. The second book, New Moon, was not nearly as enjoyable. It just drug out almost endlessly with nothing really going on. Edward was absent for much of the book, and Bella was horribly annoying. But I made it through it, and the last part of the book was ok. I just finished the third book (hey, even though New Moon wasn't that great I've given the series this much time so I might as well finish it). Eclipse was much better. Almost as good as Twilight. Maybe even better, although you really need to have read the other two in order to get the full impact. Now I am on the waiting list for the last book, Breaking Dawn. I'll let you know what I think of it.

I don't read a lot of supernatural type books, but a series that I like even better than this one is the Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris. It has all sorts of supernatural beings, although vampires and werewolves are the main ones. The heroine in this series is Sookie Stackhouse. She is a human, but is a good bit older and more interesting than Bella. I like her because she is quirky. And in this series, vampires have "come out of the closet" and are living openly among humans. So it has a somewhat unique perspective on vampire mythology. The series has everything a good story needs - interesting characters, romance, and action.

I would love to sit here and discuss books all day, but unfortunately, it is time to get ready for work. And a trip to the library on my lunch break.

Angels & Demons from May 18, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 14:03:00 +0000

Chad and I went to see the movie Angels & Demons this weekend. It was a good movie, but we both walked out disappointed with it. Now, it is a given that 99% of the time the book is better than the movie. There's just not enough time in a movie to include all the details, characters, and minor scenes that help develop the main character and fuel the plot. There are things that they have to change or leave out. But this movie went too far. Chad and I both thought that they made too many unnecessary changes, and a few of the things that they did ended up changing the whole story. For example, Vittoria Vetra's character was one of those that did not get the attention and development that she deserved. The movie kind of leaves you thinking to yourself, "Why is she even here? What is her motivation?" Those details are in the book, but have been completely changed/left out of the movie. Overall, they did a much better job adapting The DaVinci Code. That said, I did enjoy the movie. I can't imagine any other actor playing the character of Robert Langdon, and the filming makes you feel like you are actually right there with him visiting Rome. I wish I had the time and money to go see these places in person.

My recommendation - if you have not read the book then go see the movie first (but don't skip the book altogether!). If you have read the book, then see the movie when it comes out on DVD and try to enjoy it on its own without making any comparisons.

Baby Girl! from May 11, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 14:00:00 +0000

Well, It's a girl! I am at 20 weeks now, which is actually over halfway for me, so we are starting to get really excited (and more and more uncomfortable with the growing belly!) I have to have a c-section, so will only go about 38 1/2 weeks instead of the full 40. That will cut down on the chances that I will go into regular labor, but still give the baby time to develop.

We have already decided on a name for her - Ava Elizabeth. Elizabeth is a common name on both sides of the family, and Ava is jsut a name that we all like (we even let Harrison put in his two cents and help pick it!) He got to go in to the ultrasound with us. He thought it was weird, especially hearing the heartbeat.

I hope everyone had a great Mother's day! Mine was quiet and relaxing - just the way I like it. I didn't do a single thing all day long. Harrison got up and cooked pancakes for breakfast (Chad halped a little, but mostly just told him what he needed to do). They were really good! Yesterday afternoon we went down to Dauphin Island for a few hours. We have a little beach tent that they set up for me (I was sunburned from hanging out by the pool Saturday) so I got to sit/lay under it and relax. It is open on one side and has mesh 'windows' on the other three so you can still see what is going on. I have decided that it is the best way to enjoy the beach - you get all the sights, sounds, and smells of the beach, the cool and clean ocean breeze, and the occasional dip in the water, without having the sun beating down on you. I'm not that into tanning so it is perfect for me.

Oh well, Mother's Day is now officially over so I guess it is time to get back to reality. Have a great week!

Rain, rain, don't go away from March 25, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 13:59:00 +0000

Harrison is sick with the crud, so I am staying home with him today. Not the best time - we are understaffed at work and one of my coworkers is out on vacation all week. But the upside is that it is a really good day to be home! It is supposed to rain all day. Now, I hate getting out and about on rainy days, but I love being at home when it is rainy. The sound is peaceful and soothing. And I always feel sleepy and lazy when there is a steady rain for several hours, so it is better to be home where I can nap!

I am now 13 weeks pregnant and am finally feeling better - I am actually eating real food again. I can even eat meat now as long as I don't cook it. Last week I went to the doc and she said that I would be feeling better by this week. I was skeptical, but she was right! It's like magic. Nausea, nausea, nausea for 12 weeks, then all of a sudden you start to feel hungry again. The good news is I am not craving sweets and other super fattening stuff. I mostly want to eat fruit (especially grapefruit) and sharp cheddar cheese. It was the same way when I was pregnant with Harrison. My only fear is that all this grapefruit will cause the baby to be collicky. Irrational, I know, but Harrison had it and it is NOT FUN. Of course, I haven't been afraid enough to stop eating it yet. Speaking of food, I think it is time to go get some cheese and crackers, turn on a movie or home improvement show, and snuggle up in bed with Bo, our very lazy Jack Russell Terrier (I didn't know there was such a thing). I may even take my first nap of the day!

Getting Away, from March 14, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 13:57:00 +0000

I'm really excited this morning. We are going to a concert in Orange Beach tonight and are actually going to spend the night in a hotel. I know - it sounds crazy to be so excited about spending the night in a hotel, but I can't remember the last time we did. The only "vacations" we take are to visit family. And I am not feeling as sick today as I usually am. I think it is because I know I will be gone and won't have to sit around making myself feel even worse over all the things I am not getting done.

In other news, I am now 10 weeks pregnant. Everything is still going well, although I still feel sick a good bit of the time. I have no energy. Chad and Harrison are getting a little tired of my quick and easy solutions for dinner, but I just can't get motivated to cook a "real" meal. Chad is working 6-7 days a week again, and Harrison has started track & field (to build up his strength and stamina for football season). They practice 4 days a week right now with practice going from 5:00 - 6:30. Soon, they will switch to 5 days a week. Oh well, he wants to do it, and as long as I don't have to get out there and run and jump I'll be happy to support him. Plus, it gives me an hour and a half to just sit and read with nothing to cook or clean. Speaking of cleaning - I better go put the clothes in the dryer so we will have something clean to wear this weekend!

Hhhmmmm from February 4, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 13:55:00 +0000

I had several things that I had in the back of my mind to blog about, but now that I actually have time I can't remember any of them. Pregnancy brain in action. I have been very tired all the time, and even though I haven't been throwing up, I do feel sick all day long. The only things that really seem to help are crackers and massive amounts of bread. Really good for the size of my behind. Chad and I are both really excited, although it is going to be a huge adjustment - Harrison is almost self sufficient so it will be challenging to get used to having a little person around who needs constant care. The baby is due September 27, but I have to have a c-section so the doc said she will schedule it for about a week and a half before the due date to ensure (hopefully) that I don't go into labor. It seems like such a long time, but at the same time it feels like there's not enough time to get ready.

I have still been reading books from around the world, although I am putting my food tour of the world on hold until I can actually eat real food. So far I have read books (mainly memoirs) set in England, India, France, and a couple of others that I can't bring to the front of my brain right now. I just finished a book called "I'll Never Be French" by Marc Greenside. He is an American who bought a house in France and lives there part of the year (the rest of the year he lives in California.) It is a very funny book all about him trying to figure out life in a small French town. For some reason I had this stereotypical idea that all French people are snooty and rude, but that is not the case. This book shows what the country people are like, and yes, they are very much like country people here - generous, welcoming, kind-hearted, and fairly conservative. And most of them like Americans. They don't always agree with American politics (can't blame them for that), but they like the everyday American people. More proof that the media gives you a very limited, skewed picture of the world.

Well, it is time to get ready for work. Most of Mobile has shut down for Mardi Gras, but Chad and I both have to work today. The good news is I get off at 12 so I can come home, eat my bread, and take a nap!

Books and Food

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 02:12:00 +0000

But that is not really what i sat down to write about. I found this great app today for my MySpace page called goodreads. It is perfect for someone who loves books as much as I do. I may have written this in other blogs, but I love books. I love everything about books. The obvious things like the plot and the characters, or the info if it is nonfiction, but I also love the weight of them in your hand, the texture of the pages, the whisper of a page turning, and the smell of the paper whether it be the newly printed smell or the musty, "I've been sitting on a bookshelf waiting for you way too long" smell. One of my favorite quotes is from Sylvia Plath: ""I wish I could try on different lives like dresses, to see which fits me best and is most becoming." Books do that for me. You can be a world traveler or a time traveler, and you can become anybody you want. So visit my app or my amazon astore and find some interesting books to read! And while you are at it, let me know what books you enjoyed - I am always looking for something new to read.

I've been thinking for a long time that I wanted to do a "world tour" through books and recipes (another love of mine is cooking). I think the best way to get a feel for a place is through food and literature. Not the news or almanac style statistics, not the boring "history" which may be slanted by the author, and certainly not travel guides, but real words written by real people. One of my favorite genres is memoir, and also the sub-genre of travel memoir. And some of my favorite books within that are ones that are written by people who have actually moved to foreign countries like Fraces Mayes' books about Tuscany and Sarah MacDonald's book about India. People who voluntarily move to a new country and then have to learn everything about that country usually have a unique perspective that you just don't get from tourists or natives. But the point is, to learn about a place you should read the books and cook the food.

Today I made up my mind to start my tour so I went to the library (and checked out way to many books, only two of which are actually related to this blog). I didn't know which country to start with there are so many to choose from! So in typical Hope fashion I simply browsed the shelves looking for something interesting. I found it in the nonfiction new release section. It is The Anglo Files by Sarah Lyall. It is written by an American woman who married an English man (another one of my weaknesses!) and moved to London during the 90's. So far it has been quite funny, and as soon as I finish this blog I am going to read some more. I also picked up The Foodlover's Atlas of the World by Martha Rose Shulman. It breaks countries down by continent and regions and actually tells you a little about the history and so forth of the different places as well as the common crops and dishes to give you a more complete picture of how their cuisine evolved. For instance, I've heard that English food awful and often bland. This view of their food probably comes from two things - 1. like many cultures theirs has historically been based on agriculture. The people were poor and used EVERY part of the animal when they cooked. 2. the blandness is probably a result of the extreme food rations that were in place during World War 2. In more recent history, however, their foods have begun changing due to immigrants from their current and former colonies, especially India. Fascinating. To me anyway. The only drawback to this book is that it does not have very many recipes. None of which are from Britain. I guess when I get ready to plan my English meal I'll have to Google it.

Anyway, I guess that is it for today, now that I have put everyone to sleep with my lecture on book reading. I'm proud of myself, and didn't get too far off track with my tangents today!

New Year, New You 1/16/2009

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 02:10:00 +0000

New Year, New You?

So I haven't blogged in a while. I went through a phase where I blogged almost every day, but as you can see, don't anymore. Part of it is time, and part of it is that I just don't have anything interesting to say. But since I keep writing 2008 on everything I guess it is time to do the token New Year's themed blog (even though the month is over half gone!)

What do you do when New Year's comes around? I used to be typical - I would review the past year of my life laughing and crying over everything that had happened. I made the usual resolutions which were all broken by January 2nd. I beat myself for not accomplishing more, being more, helping others more. Everything about the upcoming year seemed to be about more, more, more. I finally gave up making resolutions - you know you're not going to keep them so why start the year off on a bad note? And let's face it, I am 35 years old and am not going to magically become a "new" person just by losing a few pounds (and promptly gaining them right back again) or cutting my hair (it grows back with even more gray) or telling myself that this will be the year that I volunteer more (it takes all my energy just to serve meals at home, I would be almost useless in the homeless shelter). I still reflect some on the past year, but I don't dwell on it. It is more of a "taking stock" to get straight about where I am and where I want to head.

But this year is different somehow. I don't know where I want to head. At this point, it is almost like I am just along for the ride. The "Whatever" attitude. Probably not a good attitude to have at the beginning of the year. And I'm having a lot of trouble getting motivated. I keep waiting for inspiration to strike like it is a bolt of lightning that is just going to come down out of the sky and light my ass up. The most creative thing I can do is sit in front of the computer screen or sewing machine or stove (all places that I normally enjoy being) and make crazy faces. I imagine them to be funny, but since I can't seem them they are probably more along the lines of clinically insane and frightening to young children.

So tell me - how are all of you out there in cyberspace observing the New Year? Broken any resolutions yet? Did you even make resolutions this year? Or did you try to trick yourself by calling them goals instead of resolutions (I've tried that trick too.) And would someone please tell me if reality has finally settled in on me or if I am just going through a mid-life crisis? Do women even have mid-life crises? I'm not sure about that one - you generally only hear about men. But on that note I think I will give myself one New Year's "goal" - try to stop going off on irrelevant tangents while blogging!

Links for 2009-01-05 [del.icio.us]

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BlogHer

Links for 2008-11-25 [del.icio.us]

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Feminist Marketplace - Feminist T-Shirts
A great store for feminist, peace, and environmental stuff.

Grammy's Cooking: Not Your Typical Grandmotherly Fare

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 14:21:00 +0000

This week we are saying goodbye to my grandmother. And some of us are celebrating her life and all the hilarious memories we have of her. Grammy was, to put it mildly, quirky. You never knew what she was going to say or do (especially after her stroke when all inhibitions she might have had flew out the window, but that is another topic.)

My grandmother will live in infamy as “The grandmother who couldn’t cook.” People talk all the time about the wonderful cookies or cakes or dressing or fried chicken that they remember their grandmothers cooking. I tell them that we remember the disasters that Grammy cooked, and they look at me in disbelief, “A grandmother who can’t cook? That’s unheard of!”

Growing up during the depression, she got used to saving every little scrap. She would ‘cook’ a casserole or freeze some peas from the garden, and upon finding them at the bottom of her deep freeze 10 years later proclaim, “This has been frozen so I’m sure it is still good.” Then she would proceed into the kitchen to thaw it out and heat it up for the relatives visiting from out of town. As far as I know, none of them ever got sick, but that could be because they only ate a few bites and survived on the ice cream my grandfather brought out after every meal (and sometimes for an in between meal snack!)

My aunt Patsy retold one of my favorite stories yesterday. Her husband, my uncle Roddie (one of Grammy’s sons), loved banana pudding, so Grammy would always try to be sure and make some for him when he visited from Mississippi. Now, Grammy was very imaginative and one of her bits of kitchen “wisdom” was that if you are cooking and find that you are missing an ingredient, just substitute something else (another trick from the Depression, I think. Plus they lived 15 miles from the nearest grocery store so she couldn’t just send someone out to grab it really quickly!) Sounds reasonable, right? Not with Grammy’s inventiveness. Anyway, he and his family were over visiting one day, so she decided to make banana pudding (keep in mind her penchant for saving everything.) It started going downhill right away. She didn’t have any bananas, so she decided to use chocolate pudding instead. Then she didn’t have any vanilla wafers, but that did not deter her. You see, she had several grandchildren who would lick the icing from the inside of oreo cookies, then leave the cookie part lying around. She would gather them up in case someone wanted a cookie later, so she decided to use those in place of the vanilla wafers. Unfortunately, she still didn’t have enough cookies, so she decided to use the next best thing that she had on hand, shredded wheat cereal. After dinner that day, she dished out the pudding for desert. My grandfather took one bight and said, “Florine, what is this?” She proudly proclaimed, “It’s banana pudding, Roddie’s favorite!”

I’m really going to miss Grammy, but I know that when I think of her the only tears will be the ones streaming down my face from laughing so hard. She would want it that way. And in her honor, I am going to try to recreate her “banana pudding” recipe for any of you brave and imaginative cooks out there.

Grammy’s “Banana” Pudding

Ingredients:

1 large box of instant chocolate pudding mix

About 12-15 oreo cookie halves with the icing licked off by young kids who have just come in from outside and not bothered to wash their hands

About 1/2 – 1 cup of Shredded Wheat cereal (or Kicks cereal, an acceptable substitution if you are out of Shredded Wheat)

Directions:

Using the instructions on the box as general guidelines, mix up the pudding making substitutions as needed.
Place a layer of oreo halves and shredded wheat along the bottom of your pan.
Pour the pudding on top, then garnish with a few more oreo halves and shredded wheat crumbs.
If you have any leftovers, store them in the refrigerator for a week or so, or put in the deep freeze indefinitely (be sure to label it clearly so you can find it again in a few years when you are looking for it.)

Self-pitying nonsense

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 16:28:00 +0000

My grandmother passed away yesterday. It has left me feeling rather empty, and small – like a young child who needs to be taken care of. I have trouble getting up and doing things on a good day, but today I am total mush. I just want to hide away from the world, sweep all problems under the rug and pretend like they don’t exist. But I am too good at that already. I don’t really know what I want to write about today, I only know that I want to communicate with people who are outside of everything.

Her loss was one that everyone had been holding their collective breath for. She had a severe stroke several years ago which left her paralyzed on one side of her body. Her mind was still pretty much in tact, but she could not access parts of her body. Her favorite activity, I think was letter writing (and reading). She had an address book full of people that she had been corresponding with for years. The stroke was devastating to her, and she was already suffering from the loss of my grandfather. Sunday night she had another stroke which put her into a coma. She drifted away about 7 pm last night, after all her children and many grandchildren and great grandchildren had been by to say their goodbyes. It was a very surreal and bizarre scene at the hospital. Almost like a scene from a dark comedy. Maybe one day I will write about that – today I am trying to come to grips with the strangeness of it.

I am trying to keep things in perspective. I feel sadness, but also the relief that comes when you know that the person is no longer suffering. I feel worry over my father and aunts and uncles, but also for myself. This is probably going to sound extremely awful and insensitive, but I am finding it difficult to remain focused on my grandmother’s memory and on the well-being of my family members. I am discovering that in times like these people have a tendency to focus more on themselves and their own personal feelings. It becomes a sort of selfish performance, “Look at me, look at at me, I am suffering so much!” Maybe that it just part of the grieving process.

I believe I have mentioned it before, but I have suffered from depression for many years. Every winter I have a low period. The closer it gets to Christmas, the lower I get. This year has been no exception, and today I am just left feeling so empty and alone. No amount of medicine or therapy can cure that. I know that I am not really alone, especially now, but it is so easy to slip into that mode, to block yourself off from the world and pretend like you are someone else, living a totally different life. I once had a friend who believed that you shouldn’t take anti-depressants or go to a therapist. He believed that you should just completely “live” all your feelings. I don’t agree with the not taking medication part (I couldn’t function if I didn’t take it), but I think he was on to something about truly experiencing all your feelings. Maybe that is what I need. Maybe I shouldn’t fight them so hard. Just give in and let them work their way through me for a few days rather than burying them and going on through the motions of day-to-day life. I might find that it is cleansing. Or it could make matters worse – I already have a mountain of laundry to fold and put away (at least it is clean!) and my kitchen looks like a bomb went off. The sink is overflowing and their are dirty dishes on every available flat surface. I probably shouldn’t admit that. I’m really not a disgusting person, I’m just a little overwhelmed right now. It is crazy when you think about it – there are all these bigger issues which I worry and stress over even though I know I have no control over them. But the little things that I can control and do something about (like laundry and dishes) get pushed aside even though seeing them tends to make me feel that much worse.

And here I am with a novel of a blog full of nonsense. I could just cry and laugh all the way to the padded room if I didn’t feel quite so numb.

What Can You Say 11/03/08

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:13:00 +0000

I tried to write a blog this morning, but ended up deleting it. I have been out of town for a few days so have not written in a while. My husband’s uncle passed away so we went back to his hometown for the service. Funerals always bring to mind several topics for discussion, but right now they somehow don’t seem appropriate. I feel the need to put my own selfish thoughts on hold and just reflect on Ernie, and on family in general.

I did not know him very well, but I did know him well enough to know that he was a very intelligent man. One of those people who surprises you – on the surface he seemed to be just
another country bumpkin, but he could hold his own (or take over!) any topic you wanted to discuss. He was one of those people who is a fountain of facts and general knowledge. We used to groan when we thought about going over to their house because we knew that he would sit there and talk and talk and talk and never let you get away. But then when we finally did leave, we realized that the stories he told and things he talked about were actually really interesting, and we couldn’t believe we had spent a couple of hours listening.

I have heard that he was a very tough father, and that he was verbally abusive at times. But whatever faults he had were made up for in his loyalty and dedication to family. He truly loved is family, and worked hard to support them. He remained married to the same wonderful woman
for 40 something years. When his daughter took the wrong path in life, he opened his home to his grandchildren and began supporting them. I know that they are going to miss him terribly, but I also know that they are taking heart in the fact that he is no longer suffering. He
had a stroke several years ago, then developed diabetes. He recently had a heart attack, and when they checked him out discovered that he had actually had quite a few heart attacks over the past couple of years, but did not realize it due to the effects of the stroke. At this
point, his body was too weak to operate so they decided to let him go. We are all relieved that he doesn’t have to suffer anymore, but for those close to him I am sure the relief does not lessen the grief.

Anyway, like I said, my trip has left me with several topics that I want to write about, but for today I think I will just be quiet and let Ernie do all the talking.

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown 10/29/2008

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:13:00 +0000

I’m sitting here watching “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” with my son and am feeling very nostalgic. I try to watch it once every Halloween. I never get tired of watching all these old holiday classics. During Christmas, it is Rudolph and the Grinch. The original cartoon Grinch, which I love. I make my voice really low and sing that crazy song for at least three days ofter I watch it – “You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch, you’re rotten to the core, somethin somethin somethin, I wouldn’t touch you with a 29 1/2 foot pole.” I can’t remember the words right now, but I love that song. It just isn’t Christmas without the Grinch. And it just isn’t Halloween without the Great Pumpkin.

My son doesn’t seem to have the same love for all these old shows. I guess now that they can watch these super duper computer generated cartoons at any time they want they just don’t develop the same appreciation for them. When I was growing up, cartoons generally only came on for a few hours on Saturday morning. So it was a big deal if they came on at night. We would all gather around our 19 inch tv and pop popcorn in the fireplace. We had this thing that kind of looked like a metal skillet with a top that latched down on top and had a really long handle. You put the kernels and little oil in it, close up the top, and hold it over the fire shaking it often. Of course, by the time I was in high school, we had a 27” tv and microwave popcorn but we still got together as a family to watch all the holiday specials.

One of my best memories of Christmas involves the movie “The Christmas Story.” It is the one about a little boy who really wants a Red Rider b.b. gun. His mom tells him he doesn’t need one because he’ll shoot his eye out. But he gets up Christmas morning and Santa has left one for him. So he goes to shoot for the first time and ends up hurting himself just below his eye. We watched that one year when my brother was about 9 or 10, and the next day he got a gun for Christmas. And what does he do? He goes out to shoot it, it kicks a little, and he cut himself under his
eye! It was scary, but once we saw that he was ok we all got a good laugh. I need to remember to remind my brother of that the next time I talk to him. And remember to tell his son that story when he gets older (he is only 1 right now).

I am sad that my son doesn’t love them as much as I do, but at 8 he is still young enough to want to sit in the living room and actually enjoy watching them with me on our big screen tv. I think I’ll go make us some popcorn.

Horror and Halloween 10/27/08

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:12:00 +0000

As Halloween quickly approaches, I have been thinking about the horror genre of books and movies. Mostly because my son has recently become interested in scary movies, and even thinks he wants to go to a haunted house (this from a kid who didn’t want to sleep by himself after watching the cartoon “Monster House!”) It got me to thinking about how I used to love the horror genre.

I went through several phases – the Stephen King phase, Dean Koontz phase, Anne Rice
phase. Now, not all of their books are strictly horror, but they do contain those spooky, supernatural elements. I also loved watching horror movies. Back then, they didn’t have all the special effects and computer technology, and the movies seemed more real somehow. I think I
liked them because they sparked strong emotions, in this case fear or sadness when a main character was killed. I think I liked that I didn’t have to “think” about these movies and books – I could just sit back and enjoy the ride. Even now I prefer books and movies that actually make me “feel” something. But I particularly liked that adrenaline rush that you get from being scared. I can remember staying up until 2 or 3 o’clock in the morning with a Stephen King book because I just couldn’t put it down until the bad guy had been defeated. And then still being
too scared to go to sleep. And as lame as many people find it, Blair Witch Project scared me more than any thing else I’ve seen in a very long time. Probably because it was set in the woods, and looked very much like where I grew up. There are all sorts of scary noises in the
woods at night.

It is interesting, however, that since my son has been born I can’t watch or read all those things any more. I don’t know why, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t know if
it is the sight of the blood and guts, or something about the scariness of it, or what the deal is, but I just can’t stomach the horror genre any more. And I’ve talked to several other women who are the same way. Women who loved being “scared” until they had kids. I wonder if it is
maturity that has caused this shift, or if it is just something about having children – maybe some anti-horror hormone is released along with all the other “motherly” hormones. I wonder if there has ever been a study done on this. Scientists study everything else, so why not this?
Just a thought. Anybody else out there have this experience? Did you ever get to where you could start enjoying horror again?

Memories 10/21/08

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:11:00 +0000

I have been going through my old poetry lately and typing it into the computer – right now it is mostly in journals and on random scraps of paper. I have kind of been going through writer’s block, and I am hoping that revisiting some of my old stuff will jump-start my creativity. Last night, I came across the following scrap on memory -

Memory-

the Eye of the soul,

the Mother of Muses

and Source of all inspiration.

Our guide and our strength

through future experiences,

the very Definition of a life.

Hold Her close to your heart,

for once She is lost,

She can never be regained,

and She will take with Her

all that separates you

from the crowd.

That got me to thinking about memories – good and bad – and whether or not I would keep all of them, or cut some out of my mind if given the chance. I have read that the ancient Greeks believed that we are given a choice kind of like that when we die. We can choose to drink from the river of Lethe, goddess of forgetfulness, and thereby forget our lives and all the pain and hardships we endured. Or, we can drink from the spring of Mnemosyne, goddess of memory, and carry all our life experiences with us. The choice, I think would be tough for many people. If you choose Lethe, you forget not only everything that was bad in life, but also everything that was good, and all the lessons learned from life experiences. For this choice, one is given the gift of re-birth, a new life. A chance to start over with a clean slate and learn (or re-learn) the lessons necessary to move on. If you choose Mnemosyne, however, you retain all your memories and all the important lessons that they provide. For this, you are granted access into the Elysian Fields,
which is kind of like the Greek version of Heaven.

What would you choose? Would you want to forget everything and start a whole new life (I think many people already do this by living in a self-induced state of numbness and self-absorption)? Or would you want to keep all your memories, and practice all your life’s lessons? The choice is given to all of us – I hope we choose well.

Motherhood, Work, and Self 10/14/08

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:11:00 +0000

Since becoming a mother 8 years ago, I have been in this constant battle with myself, the same one many mothers go through. The first battle is whether you should go back to work or stay home. That was an easy one for me – I didn’t have a choice and had to go back to work. And even though that battle was solved early on, there have always been the lingering doubts – would my child be better off if I stayed home with him? Or am I setting a better example for him by always getting up and going to work – showing him not only a good work ethic, but also that a woman’s place isn’t just in the home?

Over the years, that battle has transformed some. Now I don’t worry so much about being a working mother – my son is in school, so there is really no reason for me not to work. Now he is getting involved in extra-curricular activities like sports and cub scouts. I support these activities, and want him to have these experiences, but I would be lying if I said that I didn’t hold some little bit of resentment towards them (note that I said them, and not him). And my husband feels that way at times too. We love our son more than anything in the world, but we also realize that to be good parents, you can’t put your child up on a pedestal and make them the center of your whole world. I sometimes fear that I am losing my identity to him. And then I feel
like crap for having those feelings. How do you create a balance between being an active member of your family, working, and still being your own person? I snatch at time during the day for myself – reading a book during my lunch break and when I am stuck in traffic, banning
everyone from the kitchen and singing and dancing while I cook, staying up a little later or getting up a little earlier so I can check email and blog or read blogs. Right now it is football season, so I have kind of put my other hobbies on hold (if I didn’t my house would be declared
uninhabitable and we’d be running around in dirty clothes!) I am SO proud of my son and cheer loudly at every game (and sometimes during practice). But I can’t help but feel anxious for the season to be over.

This probably sounds like a whiny blog, but it is really not meant to be. I just wanted to put my feelings out there – so if anyone else feels that way they can know that they are not alone. And also to issue a challenge to us all – Find creative ways to maintain the delicate balance between motherhood, work, and self so we can avoid negative feelings and fully enjoy every aspect of our lives. And not lose who we are in the process.

Look to the past for inspiration 10/05/2008

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 02:04:00 +0000

I actually wrote this on Thursday, October 2. But there was a glitch with my DSL so I couldn't post it, and I didn't remember it until today. I have a blogging program called w.bloggar that lets me write my blogs at any time, even if I don't have an internet connection. Then I can go back and post them later.

Today has not been that great a day for me. My son is sick, I have PMS, and I am feeling very depressed. If you suffer from clinical depression then you will understand - even if you have it under control, you still go through bad spells. I am having one of those spells. I am, however, determined to fight it off. I have had writer's block for many months now, and have not even had the desire to try to write. I know I need to write something, so I created my blogs and try to at least keep them up-to-date. And I have decided to start posting my poems. Maybe the process of typing them up will inspire me. Remind me of some of the ideas that I once had dancing through my mind. Maybe it will inspire me to start writing again.

I have decided to post a poem about Mobile first. I wrote it a few years ago during Mobile's tricentennial celebration. It is very cleverly called, "To Mobile, On the Occasion of Your 300th Birthday." I promise, the poem is much better than the title. I picked it because today as I was riding around, I was reminded once more of how much I love this city. I was so moved that I even started crying! Thanks to the PMS and stress it wasn't just one two drops gently rolling down my cheeks - it was full fledged bawling. Over a city. But really, it is a wonderful place to live - not perfect by any stretch of the imagination - but still wonderful. It is just the right balance of city and country, new and old (what is it with me and opposites today?) It is a small enough city to be able to get anywhere you want within 20 - 30 minutes (depending on traffic) yet still big enough to have everything you could possibly want. Surprisingly enough, Mobile has not taken as
big a hit in the recent economic crisis as many other places have. We are still bringing in new industries, and our current industries are growing, both of which are helping to stimulate our economy. Our housing market is still fairly stable as well. Which is not to say that we aren't at all affected, we just seem to be fairing better than some other parts of the country. Anyway, the poem is much better than my disjointed ramblings, so I guess I will go dig it out and get it posted.

Domestic Violence Month 10/02/2008

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 02:03:00 +0000

I very rarely keep up with what "month" it is, but I think that this is a very important one. It is a month that raises awareness about a very real and very important problem occurring all over the world. Take a few moments to visit the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. It is an organization dedicated to raising awareness about domestic violence, and lists many things that you can do this month to help the cause. They accept monetary donations, car and cell phone donations, and have resources for setting up a special awareness program in your own community. It could even be something as simple as wearing a purple ribbon (purple is the color for the month's activities) and telling people about the importance of this issue in our daily lives. And this is not the only organization dedicated to this cause. For more info, simply type "domestic violence" into your favorite search engine. This month is an important one to me. I personally am not a victim of domestic violence, but I am deeply concerned about this issue. And while it is true that most violence is against women and children, men can be victims of abuse also. I guess I became really aware of the problem about 8 years ago. I can't remember the exact year, but it was a bad one in south Alabama. Every week there was another story about someone being killed due to domestic violence. I believe in helping the victims get away and start new lives, but I also believe we have an even greater obligation to try and figure out the causes. To figure out a way to help abusers stop the cycle of violence and start new, violence-free lives themselves. I say this about every societal problem that I run across - education is key. Not just educating the public about these issues (although that is a big part of finding a solution), but education in general. Give our kids a better education from the start so they have the tools to fight this. Go into prisons and juvenile detention centers and educate the inmates, give them a reason to hold their heads up high and start over when they leave prison. Find a way to make abusers the teachers in our efforts to stop the abuse. And recognize that even though this is a worldwide problem, the solutions must begin in our own homes and communities.

Bel Canto to Swallows of Kabul 9/25/2008

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 02:01:00 +0000

I finished Bel Canto yesterday. It had a surprising ending. Well, I say surprising, but it really wasn't. It was only surprising in that it was so very obvious that it had to end that way. No, I won't give it away here, but I encourage everyone to read it. Actually, now that I think about it, the story itself and the dynamics between the characters are what is surprising. That is why the ending is unexpected. I am left feeling like something is missing, a longing for the music that all the characters shared and fell so in love with. I feel compelled to go out and find some opera recordings to listen to. With the translations in front of me so I actually understand what is going on. But back to the book. It travels along at a somewhat slow pace, no big action sequences here. The hostages are held for quite some time, and the pace of the book supports that. Then it all comes to a close in three or four short pages. Like life itself - it plugs along slowly and then all of a sudden it is over. I wonder if this is just meant to be a wonderful story or if it is a metaphor for our lives - either being held hostage or being the captors trying to negotiate a better life. I question myself about these things sometimes. Do the authors write the books just to be a good read, or do they write them to have a deeper metaphorical meaning? I guess that part of it depends on the reader. Every word written holds different meanings for different readers. So I will take Bel Canto as both.

Today, I started The Swallows of Kabul. I only had time to read the first few pages, but plan to read more before bed (that is my nightly ritual - getting into bed and reading until I can no longer hold my eyes open). It is, as you can guess, set in Kabul, Afghanistan, during the rule of the Taliban. I am very excited about it, but at the same time, am almost afraid to read it. Like so many Americans, I have been sheltered from the reality of life there. We know that it was (and still is) a horrifying existence, but we never see the details or the reality of the horror. It is just an abstract knowledge without a true understanding. But I feel it is important to read books like this one for that very reason - so we can see and understand how people in other parts of the world live. Right now I am into reading novels, but I also love memoirs, especially
travel memoirs. About a year ago I read Kabul Beauty School. It was set after the fall of the Taliban. An American beautician decides to volunteer to go to Afghanistan as a nurse's aide. After
arriving, she feels very inadequate because the other volunteers are mostly doctors, nurses, engineers ...People whose skills she feels are far more necessary to the rebuilding of the country. And in many ways she was right, but she was also very wrong. I have never lived in a place that was virtually destroyed by war, but I can imagine what it must be like. I believe that people need more than just the practical help - they also need something to lift their spirits and help them feel like there is something to rebuild on. And she did that for the women of Kabul. She did not last as a nurse's aide, but she began to use her skills as a beautician to help both the volunteers (who were from many different countries) and the people of Kabul. Eventually, she even started a beauty school there. She developed very close and personal relationships with many of the women and was able to connect with them and learn things about them that no one else was. I am interested to read this and see the comparison of the two, even though they are very different books. Not a comparison of the books themselves, but more of a comparison of life pre and post Taliban. In fact, it is almost bedtime now so maybe I will just go ahead and log off so I can get started!

New Book, New Life 9/16/2008

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 02:00:00 +0000

I think I said before that I love books because you can go anywhere and be anything. Since that is the case, I finished being the The Time Traveler's Wife and am now a hostage in the book Bel Canto (P.S.). It is not your typical hostage book. So far it is not very action packed, but it does look into the thoughts and feelings that go through people in a stressful situation (such as being held hostage). It follows several different characters and gives their unique perspectives to each situation. I don't want to give anything away, so I will just say that if you are into well-written books with lots of great imagery (you actually see this house and these people in your mind's eye in clear detail) and don't care about a lot of fast paced action then you will love this book. I have also added a link to it in My Favorites widget so you can find it fast later. Another book, actually two books, that I added is Baghdad Burning: Girl Blog from Iraq, which I mentioned in my last blog. It is a very heart breaking and realistic look at how things actually are in Iraq, from the perspective of a native Iraqi and not a soldier or journalist. It is a collection of blogs written by a young woman living in Baghdad, and is heart-breaking because even with all our good intentions for saving the Iraqi people from Saddam, in many ways things are far words now than they every were before. This book puts you in the middle of Baghdad and allows you to experience the other side of this war. If you are at all a thoughtful person and care about being well informed rather than just believing what the politicians and media feed you, then read this book. It make give you a new perspective on things. I am trying to think up a short list of some of my favorite books to add and will post them later. I have a few in mind. Some tear-jerkers, some travel memoirs, and some that are just plain fun. I still have those poem ideas simmering in my head, and I think they are just about ready to put on paper. I'll add them, as well as some of my other work later also, although I will probably have to stay up until 3 a.m. since my life is so crazy right now.
Peace.

Who Am I? 9/7/2008

noreply@blogger.com (Kudzu Soup) — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 01:22:00 +0000

I see myself as many different people at different times. I wear many different outfits - mother, wife, teacher, employee, crafter, artist, poet.... The list seems endless at times, and I get lost in all

the ideas, imagining who I am and who I could be. Who I want to be. What I want to be. I change with the seasons and phases of the moon - one day I am friendly and outgoing, the next I am introverted and grumpy. Writing has always been outlet for me, but like so many things in my life it comes and goes in phases. I will go into hyper writing mode for a while, then not write anything for months. I can't remember the last time I wrote anything, but I have several ideas swirling in my head right now. That is how I have always created - I get ideas that simmer in my mind for a while before they ever get put onto paper. It is the same with crafts and sewing. I have ideas, but I cannot begin them right away. They have to sit and develop. Unfortunately, I also have streaks of perfectionism and a short attention span so if something is not working out just the way I want it to, or if I have another idea along the way, the current project gets dropped and never finished.

I have recently been drawn to digital scrapbooking and creating - I can start working on my visions and keep notes on them then save them for later. It certainly cuts down on the clutter in my house. Yes, I am a pack rat (much to my husband's dismay). In fact, I need to go through and clear out all my old junk. I have always loved crafting and scrapbooking, but strangely enough I like the process of gathering and collecting the materials more than I do actually making things. That old perfectionism again - I am not much of an artist so nothing that I make is ever as good as I imagined it would be. But going digital is even turning me into an artist.

I have a layout that I did when I had a blog on myspace. Not to get off topic (which I have a habit of doing), but I deleted my myspace page. Myspace is wonderful, but it just didn't fit me. It was
just too much. Too much of what I can't really put my finger on, but it was too much of something. Too many options, too much complication, and again, I could never get it to look the way I wanted it to. Anyway, I did manage to design my own background, which the blog layout itself took away from. I am going to put it in with this post as soon as I find it (I know it is saved on my desktop pc, and I think it is saved on a disk as well - I got a laptop and having started using it for all my computer "work"!) It expresses in simple pictures and a few words what I am trying to express with this novel long blog ramble. So let me go find it and get it on here.

Links for 2008-10-22 [del.icio.us]

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 00:00:00 PDT

Donna Downey
Artist / creative inspiration

Links for 2008-10-01 [del.icio.us]

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 00:00:00 PDT

PeaceXPeace
Women working for peace
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Organization dedicated to uplifting battered women and children, and raising awareness about their plight.
SAIV - The Spiritual Alliance to Stop Intimate Violence
Organization dedicated to rasing awareness about domestic violence and its affects on international violence.
Mobile Public Library, Alabama
Website for our fabulous library system

Links for 2008-09-30 [del.icio.us]

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 00:00:00 PDT

DailyLit: Read books online by daily email and RSS feed
Books sent to your email in installments. Most are free, and even those that are not usually have a few free installments so you can "try before you buy."
Free sewing projects, free learn to sew articles, charitable sewing, my sewing room , bridal and more
It's all about sewing and creativity - not much more to say.
Home | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
Irreverent and satirical version of the news.
Pandora Radio - Listen to Free Internet Radio, Find New Music
An amazing site that takes artists/songs that you know you like and uses them to form personalized, commercial free radio "stations."
Skirt.com | Skirt! Magazine | Skirt! Books
The best women's magazine / website ever created.
www.paint.net
One of the best alternatives to Photoshop that money can't buy.
~keri smith illustration~
Great artist / writer / inspirer.