Kums' Seventh Sense

From Frogs to The Prince!

2017-05-21T22:57:00.002+05:30

What if I wrote short open letters to all the frogs that I met in my life? Don't ask me what triggered this thought process I don't remember now, mom brains! With a toddler around it is a miracle I managed to write this blog, all credits to the notes I wrote down.

I am not going to mention names here. But if you are in this list you will know its you.

Frog #1

I knew you weren't interested in me and that you were too good for me. But then, you were perfect for my adolescent hormones, thank you for that. But the way I turned out, you might regret letting me go unnoticed.

Frog #2

Man, I was bowled over by the brains and the intelligent banter. I was quite disappointed with the looks department but then was matured enough to let it go, until one fine day you turned out to be some psycho blah blah blah stalker types. I have absolutely no regrets.

Frog #3

This was a classic case of peer pressure. I liked you but crushing on you was a side effect of having mutual friends who thought flirting was serious business. If it was just me I would have happily stopped with the flirting. I am sorry for all the drama caused and you are not completely innocent either, you were friend zoning me and I knew it. I wish I had the pleasure of doing it!

Frog #4

Handsome. You have a place in this list only because you were handsome and gave me cute compliments. I totally wasted my time in knowing you. You said you liked me and then even without an yes from me you acted like you owned me! Your loss buddy!

Frog #5

In afterthought you are the best candidate on this list. You tick a lot of boxes. But its sad that I wasn't attracted to you. My loss really!

Frog #6

I wish you had asked me out. You will remain my favourite what-if.

Frogs #7-n

Even though there wasn't any romantic undertone, I liked all the flirting that was coming my way. Thank you for making me feel beautiful and wanted. I liked the attention.

My Prince

I love you and am attracted to you to the point of being addicted. This is what keeps me going when the going gets tough.

(image sourced from the internet)

What does love mean to me?

2017-02-19T00:32:00.001+05:30

When I hit puberty I thought love was all about kissing and having butterflies in your stomach.

When I grew up a little I replaced kissing with sex and the butterflies remained.

Now the definition has changed in all ways possible. I've learned that there isn't just the romantic Love there is more to it.

It could be the heart swelling when you see your child do something or the smile you have when you think of your parent. This year I've decided that my daughter is my valentine. Sleepless nights and the constant anxiety are all totally worth it. The sloppy kisses that I get on rare mornings are my greatest motivator.

To me love is all about the level of comfort I have with a person. You really love each other if you can fart and burp to your heart's content in each other's company. If you can have conversations about that then you are in the next level, haha!

Everybody sees love differently but most would agree on the comfort part. My friend Srilakshmi and I see things differently but this level of comfort is what we both agree upon.

It's all in the little things really. Like having a lazy day together like this! (I am mentioned in the story and I'm totally excited)

I found the perfect recipies for lazy valentine's days. No bake strawberry cheesecake and eggless whole-wheat brookies. Made these for my valentine and she loved it! I wish I could send some to Srilakshmi to have another lazy day with her beau.

Note: This post is written for the 'love theme' contest by The chennai bloggers club in association with woodooz and Indian Superheroes . A collaboration with Srilakshmi, you can see her blog here. It was great knowing pro bloggers like her I have a long way to go! Hope y'all had a great valentine's day!

One Year Old Parent

2017-01-26T23:22:00.002+05:30

I cannot believe we are a year old now! My daughter and me, as a mother. What an year it has been!

Starting with self-doubts and a roller-coaster ride of hormones to somehow learning the trick of the trade, I have come a long way.

I found myself a place among a group of amazing mothers here in Coimbatore. They have been my support system throughout. I will be eternally thankful to them.

I do what I think is best for my baby. Babywearing, cloth diapering, breastfeeding and letting my child feed herself. All the above said concepts didnt come easy, I had to explain a thousand times and do my research to get people around me to accept what I do.

Do not let the society dictate your parenting style. You are the parent and you are supposed to do the parenting not the society. The "society" will be there to tell you that you are not producing enough milk for the baby, cloth diapers are bulky, babywearing will make the baby dependent on you and a self-feeding baby does not eat enough. Duh!

The only person you are supposed to listen to is your baby. Your motherly instincts will take over and you will do a great job at bringing up a happy baby.

I had the good-luck of finding a group of like minded mothers to keep me sane. I really would have gone mad if I had not. I am trying to help as many new mothers as I can, nobody should be left alone to fight this fight.

Parenting is not easy. Children dont come with an instruction manual. You learn and unlearn on the job. You will never be the same person that you were.

To the person that changed my life for good, my daughter, I wish you all the best things in the world my darling! Let's grow together.

Love Hate Stay-at-home

2016-04-12T12:30:00.000+05:30

I decided to quit my job and stay at home after I got married. I did that and I still can't decide if that was a good decision.

It is not so nice when you hear "veetla chumma thaana irukka?" (you are jobless at home, no?) because honestly staying at home is a real full time job for which you don't get paid in any form. No money no gratitude. It is very tough job.

You graduate from questions like "Is the code working?" "Is the deliverable ready?" "Is the testing complete?" to questions like "What is there to eat?" "Why isn't the laundry done?" "Have you washed the utensils?". Believe me, delivering a code package seems like a piece of cake to me. May be because I am a lazy bug. I think I was spoiled by my parents. I just can't seem to get interested in domestic chores. May be because I don't get paid for what I do. I don't get thanked or appreciated.

Plus, there is no holiday. Holidays are really a nightmare. Sundays are workdays not holidays. And on top of all this I am a mother now. I think I am slowly losing my identity as an individual. I am transforming into somebody's mother and somebody's wife. Don't get me wrong, I do not hate the idea of stay-at-home. I like that I can be there for my daughter, pursue some of my hobbies whenever I can et all.

However happy you are there is always going to be that one small part of you wishing you had the financial freedom, identity and respect a career brings along.

I know I am not alone in this. I think it is time for some reforms. I am sure the stay-at-home moms/wives will agree that getting some appreciation and respect will go a long way.

This is the state of females who are caught in between patriarchy and feminism. All the moms with sons teach them that males and females are equal. All the moms with daughters teach them to stay strong.

The Little Bundle of Anxiety... Joy

2016-02-15T15:38:00.001+05:30

On January 10, 2016 around 9'o clock in the morning my life changed forever. My daughter was born into this world.

Being pregnant isn't a huge deal at all.. you'll know when the child is born. It is a big deal. I did not have any problem until the moment I realised that I wasn't producing much breastmilk. That's when the pink clouds cleared all of a sudden. I was dehydrated during labor, remember?

What people don't realise is that it is perfectly normal for breastmilk to take some time to come in. It may take a few days even. Thats when the stress levels go up and thats just what you don't need at the moment. Stress is inversely proportional to production of breastmilk.

You will get judged as a bad mommy if you are not able to breastfeed the baby. It is not going to help your already anxious self. Every other person visiting you will have an opinion. The only choice you are going to have is to learn to ignore those opinions. You are not a bad mommy if you are not able to produce breastmilk.

Newsflash: baby blues are real! It is not a myth. I had to deal with baby blues and I still get a little anxious if I'm not able to calm my baby down. It's perfectly natural for people to feel that way and if anybody tells you that you are overreacting, punch them in the face. It is you who is having to deal with it not them.

I cried when she cried uncontrollably. I cried when her umbilical stump fell off, I felt as if the connection was cut. The last reminder of the bond was gone. At that moment it did not matter that the baby was indeed bonding with me at a much better level. I just had to cry it out. I missed having my baby in the womb. Me crying holding the fallen umbilical stump is going to be a funny story someday but at the moment it was a real deal!

What matters is that you have to keep calm and carry on. It takes some time for the baby to understand motherese and for you to understand babylish. The key is to ignore the unnecessary questions. Have you fed the baby? Why is the baby not putting on weight? You have to eat a lot! Are you sure you have enough milk? I will do everything that is in my power to feed my baby. Paying heed to such questions is bound to make you doubt yourself.

Sleep deprivation is the focus point of all parenting jokes. The jokes aren't really jokes, they are the truth disguised as jokes. Thank god somebody had the sense of humour. Add that to the physical stress and you've got a great cocktail for the beginnings of depression. That's why you've gotta sleep when the baby sleeps, not sit and write pointless blogs like these. I've gotten used to this but I still can't go 24 hours without sleep.

I spoke to a friend of mine who had had a baby recently. Her case seemed worse than mine. She was managing it really well. She was taking care of the baby and everything else on her own. That inspired me, made me count my blessings. I bathed my daughter on my own that day, with a little help of course. Doing things on my own has always given me the strength. After all this, one fine day I had a lightbulb moment. All the mothers have gone through this. My respect for mothers multiplied.

Don't let people tell you that you cannot do it. There is no right or wrong way of parenting. Your child is your responsibility. Responsibility can sometimes be fun too.

When people told me to enjoy even the crying I did not understand. But as time goes on I am beginning to understand that. She is not going to be this little for very long. One day she is going to do things on her own, she'll not need mommy to burp, poop, pee or puke.

I'll admit that I am still not super confident. I get worried from time to time. I've never been a mother before! I am a novice when it comes to bringing up baby. The anxiety is not going to go away, but I am confident that the joy will take over soon.

Wish me luck!

The Story of My Daughter's Birth

2016-02-13T16:50:00.001+05:30

The pregnancy was a surprise. We hadn't really planned on having a baby yet and suddenly there it was those most wanted "two lines" on the home pregnancy test! I was shocked at first. I wasn't ready. But, eventually the mom instinct took over and it was love.

You get a variety of advice from everybody. Everybody is a well-wisher in the traditional indian society. For the same question you will get thousand different answers. None of it is right or wrong. What works for you is what is right.

I never did any walking. Only a little, just running errands and stuff. I did not sit up in bed every time I needed to turn during sleep. That would have made it even worse. The hardships during pregnancy is nothing close to what happens during labor. Mine is not one of those easy peasy the baby just slipped right out stories! I know why though I did not do anything to facilitate that!

I was in my 38th week. It was a thursday, I was visiting my gynec for a routine now weekly check-ups. The taxi ride was rather bumpy, credits to the bad roads. I am not sure if it was the taxi ride or what triggered it. My labor started early Friday morning.

I first thought it was the fake labor pain, I still had two weeks to go anyway. The pain seemed to go down as the day progressed. I did everything thats in the book to judge if its real or fake. Had jeera water, walked and took a warm shower. It was later that evening it started again. The baby's head was in the right direction but it was nowhere close to the cervix I could tell, my tummy was still up there.

Early the next morning, Saturday, when I went to the loo I noticed that my mucus plug had discharged. Waited to call my doctor in a decent hour. She asked me to come get checked out. It turned out that I was 2 cm dilated by then. I was admitted to the hospital. My contractions weren't regular. They came and went at 3 minute to 7 minute intervals. It was all so uncertain.

I was moved to the labor ward for better monitoring. In the middle of the night I couldn't take it anymore. There was more of that mucus plug and my hip killed me. I was in tears. The duty doctor there got the physiotherapist to give me a electric pulse massager of some kind for my back. I was getting dehydrated by the minute I did not like the water that they had there, I should have asked for better water (which turned out to be a mistake form my side, because I was that dehydrated I couldn't breastfeed my daughter properly on the first day).

By 5 AM on Sunday I was 5 cm dilated. I was given enema my doctor was called to the hospital. She broke my water and it turned out that the baby had passed a little meconium on the inside. They decided to wait it out for some time. Me and the baby were in constant observation. This is when I started behaving drunk and irrational. To think of it now it is so funny! I asked for everything from anaesthesia to a c-section to avoid the pain. They had induced me a little to make my labor go faster and I did not know that at the time.

A couple of hours passed and I felt the need to push. The duty doctor there wouldn't let me push she said that I wasn't dilated enough and if I pushed now the baby's head would become conical. Grrrr! After sometime my doctor confirmed that it was indeed the head that was coming out and I was ok to push.

I was shifted to a labor room. With a fancy focus light on my vagina! I did not want to shift to a different bed at first but then I did. I had a episiotomy.. I did not have a choice there. I was given local anaesthesia and then all of a sudden the pain I was feeling on my back wasn't there anymore and I pushed the baby out in three attempts.

I must say that the whole team, students and doctors along with the nursing staff were all very encouraging. They would all chorus "mukkunga mukkunga" ("push, push"), my doctor would say "Excellent, Kumutha you are doing great!". On the third push she was out. My baby girl. The one that I had carried in my tummy for 38 weeks.

I lifted my head up to see the baby. She was covered in blood and god knows what, she was beautifully grey. While the doctor stitched me up, she was getting cleaned. The nurse brought her to me, wrapped in a bright blue hospital sheet. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She had the softest skin I had ever touched. I was overwhelmed.

I was literally shaking from head to toe. It must have been the adrenalin. I've no idea but I was shaking throughout.

And thus was born my daughter. With my definition of a beautiful face, "monna mukku, guvva noru, mottu kannu" ("blunt nose, tiny mouth, big bright eyes").

Feeling the loss of love

2015-11-08T01:29:00.001+05:30

Recently somebody asked me when do I miss my mom the most.

I had an answer to that question initially. Then it got me thinking. I miss her all the time. She was my sanctuary. I was protected nourished and loved.

Nobody loves anybody like how a parent loves a child. There is no judgement no hidden agenda. It takes years for children to understand but eventually they do. But losing someone who loved you so purely is tragic.

If this was the "about me" of my resume, would I get a job?

2014-08-19T18:18:00.001+05:30

I'm overconfident. Egoistic. But I ask when I don't know.

I am not self motivated. I need a pat on the back.

I cannot take criticism if I know I'm not wrong. I like sugar coated pills.

I do not work hard because I have to. Recognition money and knowledge are the only things that drive me.

I cant work where I don't get respect. I do what I do to protect my image. If you think highly of me I make sure that that image is not spoiled.

Nobody can make me work by giving me negative feedback. I thrive on positive feedback.

Keep saying I'm bad I'll continue to be bad. Cause I don't have to prove you wrong I know I am good.

I'm selfish I gotta get something in return for what I do. If you are not giving I am not doing.

This is the only way to make me work. May be immature I don't care. Or may be I'm not fit to be an employee and I should be a freelancer.

Crying At The Movies

2014-07-06T02:57:00.001+05:30

The Notebook: One movie I refused to watch because I knew I was going to cry. I first read the Wikipedia plot and that by itself made me cry. Every time I see the movie I cry no matter what. To forget the people that you love the most can be one of the worst things that can happen to people. Their pain and love is so real it affects me personally. It's as if I'm there.

This had me thinking... That is not the only movie that makes me cry. Any movie with emotion makes me cry. Movies are fine.. Books? Books make me cry too! I just can't resist. To think of it, good music makes me cry!

That's the only reason why I avoid going to the theatres to watch movies with sad endings. It's embarrassing to cry at the movies. This is also why I consider it a gift from god to be able to find a friend who doesn't mind crying at the movies and to top it off cries with you and doesn't judge you.

Am I being too emotional? I'm not sure. Is it healthy? I think so! Sometimes I end up being thankful for what I have in life. It's so refreshing later seriously. So what's the point of this blog.. Nothing I just had to write it down, I LOVE crying at the movies. I love that I'm able to feel what the characters feel.

Thought Process of a Hobby Junkie

2013-06-28T21:26:00.000+05:30

So today in the morning I had this good for nothing thought process going on in my mind which resulted in this:

Sometimes when you are a hobby junkie you end up asking yourself what is that ONE thing you want to do in life? What is your true interest? I haven't found an answer to that until this very moment. One day I dream of pursuing my interest in music and then one day I see myself wearing a photographer's vest and then one another day my dream of being rich and quenching my wanderlust.

But I guess I can photograph my travel destination and that singing while at it won't hurt. And just when I come to such a solution I start going after arts and crafts. Now, that's back to square one! Then I had to make this list.

Why being a jack of all trades sucks:

> you are not really an expert in anything.

> you are not sure what your true interest is

> people call you half baked

> you end up buying stuff for each of your hobbies and then they end up in storage until your love for them is renewed

Side effects include being chided by your dad/mom for not learning anything completely.

Why being a jack of all trades rocks:

> you can talk about almost everything under the sky

> you look more knowledgeable than the 'masters of something'

> every new hobby is a new adventure which keeps your stress down and mind up.

> when the need arises your in-reserve skills come in handy

> you can also make people think you are a mysterious person (given that you have such varied interests you project a different "you" depending on what you have in mind) while in reality you are only confused.

And then after all this you actually feel like you are more cool-hip-yoyo than you really are and I think that's the whole point isn't it? Pursuing a hobby to make yourself content.

So, my thought process ended with me thinking that my life is awesome. It's interesting. And having a hobby of having hobbies makes my life. Makes me what I am. A jack of many trades and master of none!

The Gift of Complaining

2013-03-16T12:55:00.000+05:30

We have been gifted with this life and what do we do? And yet the most we use is the gift of complaining. Complain about everything!!

When will we stop complaining? We started the moment we gained consciousness about the world. Man has turned out to be far more demanding than he used to be, I think. Or is it like man was designed that way?

We hunted for animals, no clothes to wear, only caves to live. We wanted something better. We moved on to better tools, fire, we moved to villages. And then I don't know.. something like that happened.. And then something else happened.. and then here we are staring at our computer screens and living a far more sophisticated life than our forefathers.

But are you satisfied with what you have? Do you think you are gifted? The answer is probably no. Even I am going to say no. I want more. Why can't I be satisfied with what I have already? May be because I don't know the value of what I have. I am no big head yogi to give you or myself any advice about being satisfied with what is already there.

But I think I should stop complaining. I think you should stop complaining too. Whenever you feel like complaining I want you to see these two videos and think how gifted you are:

Those kids in the above videos don't have two important things that you have! There are people who don't have more than that. I know for sure that just watching these two videos is not going to make me or you stop complaining forever.

What I am aiming at is the love and compassion you are feeling for those kids right now. And the sense of peace you are feeling right now. And the fact that you appreciate that you are reading this blog with your eyes while you listen to your favorite music and you are more gifted than many other.

Stay in peace with your life for at the least a few minutes! Peace.

P.S: Thanks to Asha for mentioning one of the above videos in her blog which in turn inspired me to think this through.

An Affair with the Written World

2013-02-25T23:13:00.000+05:30

Just like many of you out there, I started my affair with the written world when I was a little girl. I remember reading Sleeping Beauty, Tom Sawyer and Tintin as a young girl. I grew up in a family where you find everybody sitting in their favorite corners of the house with a book in hand on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

My world was limited to reading weeklies, short stories and comics until I encountered Sidney Sheldon in my late (very late) teens. Almost everybody starts their book reading journey with Sheldon these days. He is one of the most popular writers of this age.

One thing I like most about books is that they make you imagine and learn at the same time. I am almost always influenced by the book's content. My English becomes better for a few days after I have finished reading a good book :D. Some are so engaging that you cry and rejoice along with the characters. Whenever I start reading a book it is as if I establish a connection with it. I just cannot put it down until I finish it. One such book that commanded my entire attention was The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris. I was involved so much in the book, I did not even know that my college had arrived. (I have the bad habit of reading during transit).

I am still in the novice stage of book reading, havent grown up beyond the fiction level. I once tried to count the number of books that I have read, though I couldn't recount exactly I did realize that I still haven't reached the level of a well read person but I'm on the way there. Though I have read tens of thrillers, political thrillers, dramas and romances but only a few still stay fresh in memory.

Sometimes books provide an emotional outlet. They inspire you. They heal you. Chicken soup for the Soul series are one such kind. I am glad that my uncle passed them on to me. I have cried and laughed (and my reading in transit habit has made me look like a fool on many occasions. I dont know what people think of me when I cry and laugh alternatively reading some stupid book) in equal measure after reading the stories in those books. I strongly recommend every one of you to read the series. (Now they come in many different flavors too.)

I dont know what kind of books you like or if you approve of the books that I read. (I still read Harry Potter over and over again. I am amazed at how creative JK Rowling is.) But I wish for everybody to read. Not just books. Anything from Wikipedia articles to I-have-no-important-point-to-make blogs like these. When you read varied genres you expand your horizons and you might even discover that you like something that you never knew about before that very moment. You might even develop a passion for reading random stuff. This is the age of information and knowing/reading a lot of information carves a special place for you.

Neethane En Ponvasandham - My POV

2013-01-01T16:52:00.002+05:30

Cute. Cute is the first word that comes to my mind when I think about this movie. Varun and Nithya bring some really nice memories alive. This movie has got mixed reviews. May be people who could not empathize with the characters did not understand it.

Granted that there were too many Gautham Menon cliché's. Hero in an engineering college. Hero chasing the heroine to wherever she is. And the feet worshipping! And Menon must have a thing for guitars, singing and trains.

Samantha is cute as Nithya, Jeeva has come a long way from his Thithikudhe days. I love the romance in the movie. Everything from the apartment play area, the car and the terrace. These are some places to which people can relate themselves to. I love that they have a swing set to share. I love that they have a drawing to cherish. I love that Nithya feels happy when Varun offers to pay. I love that they enjoy their car rides. I love that they kiss. I love that Varun gets possessive and Nithya gets feisty. I love that they have a sentimental tea stall. Everybody has any one of these things in their life.

I got what I expected from the movie, something nice, something that you can relate to. May be the climax is the only place I cannot empathize with. To think of it, looks like Menon did have one of those cool dads. I wanted to watch this movie with a critique's eye. But I got carried away. I guess Menon wins here, but then it's still just me. :)

To the fussy maiden!

2012-03-12T23:41:00.001+05:30

I recently took part in a woman's forum meeting at work. The issue that was mostly discussed was men staring at women for their looks, their clothes etc etc etc.

I don't know how long it will take women to realize that when we dress up all glam, we are surely going to get some "appreciative" glances every now and then. Making a fuss about it is a waste of time! You could do that when you want to show off that you are getting some attention.

Women dress up, and men get attracted. Thats basic human nature. The animal instinct. You shouldn't be complaining about it!

The pervs do the wolf whistles and stuff to get attention. You should not react to them, react as in get angry, flirty, upset, happy, everything counts. That means that they win! This is one valuable lesson to remember: learn to ignore.

Nothing can rebuff them like being ignored.

I don't know how many ladies are going to get upset about this post, and I frankly think I am right.

If you do not have enough attitude to ignore their attention, stop wearing those kinda clothes and stop fretting about it! You and I and everybody else knows thats what happens when you dress up (down)!

Just be happy that you know your dress is good and you look good. (but with some toned down attitude okay? we dont want the men/women to be complaining about our headstrong attitude with only a few days past women's day, do we?)

Period.

P.S: One interesting outcome of the meeting was that, I confirmed my doubts about men gossiping about girls. They gossip just like how we do. But I only guess thats even worse.

Stupidity Never Dies!

2011-09-18T21:45:00.001+05:30

I have been talking.. whining about chain mails and SMS for such a long time. And recently one of the mails that I came across rekindled the anger and frustration towards their stupidity!

It says "11 year old girl pregnant" and you should read it to understand why it really got on my nerves... SPELLING mistakes! How could I not laugh at a threat that has spelling mistakes in it?

I quote here: "I will slid your body in half and then i will stab u 1 million times until all of your blood is out of you body i will take off all of your clothes and leave you naked, but dont worry, there wont be any of your skin left, i will break all of your bones, and i? will eat everything that is left of you... enjoy"

I have quoted a sample mistake in red. And did it really say "Enjoy?" hell yeah it did! And why would any dead person feel shy? No need to take off the skin I say! Dear Murderer, I'd like to spare some time for you, I do not feel shy when I am dead. No need to do any skin peeling. Thanks loads.

And for anybody who is going to send me a stupid chain mail again: I warn you, do not send me anything like this to me or my friends, if not your inbox is going to be full of your S***!

My dear friends do not hesitate to spam them back! Tit for tat! spam for spam!

P.S: I was a reading an article about clues that help find terrorists, they are capable of forging anything but their grammar/spelling mistakes. I wonder who starts off all these stupid things..

Missing you, Mumbai!

2011-08-03T11:18:00.002+05:30

I dreaded going to mumbai!! But now after coming back from there I am missing it so much.. I loved it as much as I hated it!

A beautiful home (note: I did not say house!) at a luxury appartment, room mates like a family, work place at a walkable distance, everything within reach. No place has treated me so well until now (with the excemption of coimbatore, ofcourse).

I was just "Kumutha" to my roomies, and by the time it became "Namma Kumutha" I was kicked out of Bombay, kinda a thing that I bought upon myself! I was transferred to Chennai!! Well that story is for later..

I Loved Mumbai... hmmm.. THANE to be exact. I loved the local trains, even though they were crowded, they were on time. I loved the rickshaws!! Really!!

When you get a nice place to stay in, you eventually love the city. I guess that is what happened to me. I know I was one of the lucky people, my roomies themselves were homeless for the first few days. "Mumbai is the financial capital of India, everything is very professional, people in Mumbai are friendly and nice to you when you are nice to them... blah blah blah" - I was told before I left for Mumbai and how true they were!

You only realize something was good for you after losing it.

For the first time, I stayed in an apartment. We made our own food. Cooking was fun! Thats when we had all the fun. One cut the onions while the other took care of the dish on the Induction Stove. If atleast one good happened to me there, that is I learnt to live, cook and clean. :D my mother-in-law (when I have one) will not complain!

Friday evenings were for me to experiment in the kitchen. The very first dish that I cooked was a huge flop, because I did not know the thermodynamics and mechanics of the Induction stove :P. But, later I proved myself and my roomies that I am a decent cook and grew-up to a level where my roomies started asking for dishes from me. :D (I am so proud to say that :) )

Saturdays we walked to a shopping mall called the R-Mall on the Ghodbunder Road. We went there for nothing on one day and to buy a big bag full of groceries the next time.. It was our weekend spot, when we spent it at home.

Sundays were for cleaning the house :). Sweeping and cleaning the floors, rearranging the kitchen counters and washing the bathrooms. Yes, we did it all on our own, no need to worry about keeping your things safe and doing the monitoring when the maid is in.

At this moment I want to thank my roomies, Indu, Elavarasi, Jeni, Saranya, and Valli for making me feel at home in a city where I was sure that I was going to see hell, I was loved and accepted instead. I have fallen in love with Mumbai because of you girls. Love you all. :)

I have a lot more to say... that will come later :)

My First Flight!

2011-04-04T20:21:00.000+05:30

A note to readers: this post might sound boring to the frequent and experienced flyers.

All packed and ready to go fly! But wait, I dont know anything about how to get into the airport! Being educated, it was kinda embarrassing to make mistakes.

But then its okay.. you learn when you make mistakes. Security check, Baggage and Tickets.. After all this I was waiting with my friend for my father to come back... (He had gone back home to take an ID proof to get into the airport, I did not know that you needed an ID proof to get into the airport)

I did not feel anything until I was waiting in the queue to board the bus that takes you to the aircraft. Only then I got that feeling I was longing to get - "Yay! I am gonna fly!"

That long jounrney to the runway. The cabin staff were demonstrating how to use the life jacket, the seat belt etc etc.. and I still dont know why the girl who demonstated in front of us was giggling soooooooo much. May be she thought it was funny but for first timers like me it is important!

When the flight took off I felt like I was on the Giant Wheel ride which would never end. I was trying to find my area from flight - hehe I know it was stupid of me. I thought Coimbatore was getting crowded but gawd I did not see any buildings down there.. so much of empty land! Unlike travel on land, you do not feel the speed on air. May be that is because of the sealed windows.. :-o

The clouds look like they are living in their own world! So majestic they are. When the flight flew over the Arabian Sea I could see a lot of ships in some harbors. The sea looked like a giant plastic sheet. Absolutely no motion.

When the flight was nearing Mumbai my ears started paining so much that I was glad that Mumbai was closeby.. When we approached mumbai I could feel the difference between Coimbatore and Mumbai in an instant. I had never seen so many high rise buildings in my life!

After we landed I called my friend here and she said she is waiting for me right at the entrance. I was so releived that I had no problem ahead. I am lucky to have found a friend who was ready to help me. We waiting around the arrival terminal for a friend of my other friend to come. And dear people who come to mumbai, even if you feel hungry do not buy a sandwich at idlicom. It is Aw(ful)some!

A pre-paid taxi ride to my friend's place ensured no hassle and her mom is so sweet if I stay here any longer I will come back double the size I am in!

Been safe in a nest for the past two days. Gotta see what Mumbai has in store for me from tomorrow! Treat me well Mumbai! I'll keep in touch!

Missing you!

2011-02-13T19:14:00.000+05:30

I am missing you my dearest Blog! Period.

Makeover Move

2011-01-13T22:09:00.001+05:30

ME: "I am not a girly girl!"

MY BROTHER: "Hehe no way, you are girly, very girly!"

What?! Did I really hear that? I am girly?! All these days I was thinking that I am not a girly girl.. girly girls treat a broken nail as an emergency, whine all night if their eye-brow job had gone bad, shut themselves up in their rooms if they have a bad-hair day and get mad if their clothes/hands get dirty! And on top of it I don't giggle but laugh, I like a hearty laugh. Ok, I'm getting diverted now.. back on track!

But then I am girly in some ways, I love anything that is pink, fluffy, floral, and cute! I enjoy shopping, get super excited if I see the words "SALE" and "FREE". Read fashion magazines cover to cover, browse the internet for tips. Go around the house like a ghost with a facial mask of a different color and flavor(!) every weekend.

So all that reading magazines and surfing the internet had motivated me to get a new-look! I decided that I was bored with my waist long hair, short working-hand nails and comfy floaters.

Just when I needed it I happened upon my cousin's book collection! Man! There I found two books which interested me a lot, "Beauty Confidential" by Nadine Haobsh and "Dont lose your mind, lose your weight", by Rujuta Diwekar. Oh yeah, I know the second book does not have anything to do with make-up and shopping but it kinda helped me too..

Ruju's book is really inspiring! I followed her advise for some weeks and I ended up falling out of the routine around new year's (hey come on, how could I say no to all those awesome chocolate cakes?). I'll post a detailed account of my experiments with Ruju's book when I finally discipline myself. There is lot more to it, long story later.

Coming to Nadine's book. Her no nonsense way of writing had me hooked to the book. Particularly the section about hair! After reading and re-reading the chapters about hair, and after several more google searches I decided that I had to get a hair cut. Asked my friends for suggestions on parlors and styles and then I was ready!

It was my first time to a stylish salon (Ol'e Hair Styling), and first time alone! Must admit that my knees felt week, and legs were trembling. I managed to keep the tension out of my face though. I guess I rambled a bit then gained control. [Gawd girl just chill, you are not facing an interview panel.] I went to the salon at about 11:30 in the morning. I was asked to wait, but before I could even sit down I was escorted inside. The shampoo boy insisted I get a shampoo wash. I was all nervous until after the wash. I wanted a little-longer than shoulder length hair with bangs. When I was thinking about how to phrase my requirements the filmfare magazine I was reading came in handy. I showed Chettan (that's what he is mostly known as and yeah they are malayalis) Sushmita Sen and asked him I wanted a cut like that. (Hey, a picture is worth a million words). Ok over with the boring story..

What can just a hair cut do to a girl? I felt exhilarated! I really felt like a local Sushmita Sen (Sush's fans please forgive). I felt confident, beautiful, on top of the list HAPPY. Felt like I really turned heads. Man! Whatte feeling! [Appidiyae slow motion-la edhir kaathula duppatta, thala mudi parakka nadandhu varra heroine madhiri oru feeling]

There is nothing like feeling beautiful or getting pampered that can work wonders on a girl's happy hormones!!!

Older posts say what I did to my working-hand nails. I happened upon a FLAT 50% OFF SALE on sandals and picked up a 3 inch high heels for just 145 bucks! So for now, I am learning to walk on high heels.

For girls who want to know the wonderful sites I go to for tips: ivillage.com gives beautiful tips on fashion. Of all the places I have been to the sites I love the most are wikihow and ehow. Kudos people!

P.S: I guess I have always been a girly girl. I still cannot stop myself short when I start talking about girl stuff like this. If you are a girl, I know you are empathizing with me. If you are a boy, hey boy I know what you are thinking [girls!]

Manmadhan Ambu - A Late Review

2011-01-07T19:57:00.000+05:30

A good try by Kamal Hassan. Even if not spectacular it isn't that bad!

Loved the casting. As usual Kamal steals the show, Sangeetha and Madhavan have done a good job. Trisha looks so polished in the movie! She can confidently dub for her roles from now on.

A flock of birds fly across the sky, Kamal looks at them and that tiny tear in the eye! Perfect!

Sangeetha!! Wow!! She is too good, really really good. And all those spoonerisms.. haha.. but sadly not many catch it.. well, thats typical in Kamal movies. The kid bodyguard is sooo cute!

Missed the Kamal Kavidhai a lot. Since the song is gone, we miss the moment the hero and the heroine fall in love.

May be if the movie was shortened into an hour and a half without some sentiments and songs it would have been more fast paced.

P.S: I am a Kamal Hassan fan. So if you think the review is biased, sure it is :) :) :)

Zebra Nails!

2011-01-02T13:08:00.001+05:30

This is something I have been wanting to try for a long time. I love nail art, and unfortunately I am no artist. But anybody can do lines!

This is how I did it:

1) Two coats of silver-white nail polish.

2) I do not own black polish so I used my eye-liner to draw the black lines. Generally eye-liner is water soluble. To prevent that I finished with a transparent top-coat over nails.

3) The black lines have to be drawn with a thin brush. Take care while drawing it.

4) Dont worry if you cant get the lines straight, zebra's dont have straight lines :D

5) Apply the top coat carefully and slowly. Dont apply pressure on the brush, if you do the eye-liner will chip.

6) Nail polish takes a lot of time to dry, 2 to 3 hours actually. Be careful.

7) Do not worry if you cant apply nail polish without applying some on the skin around it. That is not a problem to sweat over. Take bath, it's gone and the nails are perfect! :D

Happy Coloring! Do post your experience, difficulties, criticisms and ideas in the comments.. :)

Manmadhan Ambu - Expecting an entertaining Rom-Com

2010-11-22T19:22:00.000+05:30

I have been looking forward to watch the movie and now after listening to the songs my curiosity has spiked up! Kamal, Trisha, Splendida (the ship), Madhavan, and Surya in a guest role! Sounds good to me.

And these are my opinions about the songs after I listened to them for the first time. Call it the first impression. But I had to listen the Kamal Kavidhai twice to even form an opinion about it.

Dhagidu Dhattham: nice rhythym, i dont understand the song, may be i'll understand when i see the movie

Kamal Kavidhai: interesting number. like all Kamal's works, you need to listen carefully to enjoy the sarcasm. His atheism shows in this song. Trisha has recorded this song in her own voice, not bad for starters. Women, love, lust, sarcasm, atheism - all in one Kamal treat.

Neela Vaanam: Melodious number in Kamal's voice. The song tries to define love. This song would be getting dedicated in all the 'kadhal kadhal' kinda TV shows, with hearts flying all over the TV screen.

Manmadhan Ambu: A special DSP treat. This is the song that plays in the trailor.

Oyyalae: A very peppy number. It's of the teasing types. The man teases the woman, the woman teases the man. Beautiful flirting.

Theme: Not very attractive. Doesnt impress me. May be it will be a late hit.

Who's the Hero: Curious song. Start's like a Bond 007 theme music. Rock and roll types.

Getting an Indian Passport

2010-11-18T00:53:00.000+05:30

When I started to take steps to get myself a passport, I faced some problems and a loooot of suggestions.. you dont need a birth certificate with name, you definitely have to have one, college ID is not a matter, blah blah blah..

So here I am doing my part in confusing you. :D

1) Get youself a birth certificate with your name:

Its a matter of two visits to the corporation office. And it costs nothing more than 17 bucks!

* Get the application form from the information center. It costs Rs.11/-
* Fill it up, stick a court fee stamp for Re.1/- and attach a photocopy of your old birth certificate and school/college TC (transfer certificate)
* Submit the form at the Birth and Death registration center at the corporation office.
* The officer there signs the form and you have to pay Rs.5/- at the computer center.
* Show the receipt for the payment and submit the form.

After you do this they'll give you a date at which you must go there again to collect your certificate. They will issue a maximum of two copies. The date is usually one week away from the time you submit the form.

2) Make sure you have all your other documents are in order:

A ration card is a must to get a passport. An ID with photo. A proof of date of birth and other certificates in case you need ECNR status (emigration check not required) and are eligible for getting it.

You can refer the government's website to know what are the documents you can use to get a passport. The website is very informative (surprisingly good).

The documents that are normally required for the application of passport are:

* Ration card
* Driver's lisence/any other photo ID
* 10th and 12th marksheets
* Degree certificate/equivalent
* Transfer certificate
* Birth certificate

When I started out, we had misplaced the ration card and had to search every corner of the house before finding it right in front of our eyes. So, its always better to start ASAP.

Also, make sure all your documents have the same address. This is one major problem for us here. Most of the time, the address/name is misspelt. There are stories of voter's ID's having the wrong gender!

Oh, yeah dont forget the photographs! White/light background, 3cm X 3cm dimension. And SMILE :)

3) How to apply:

There are two ways of doing this, doing it by yourself and getting it done, which ofcourse costs you money. You can apply by yourself if you are confident and sure of what you are doing. If not then I suggest you to get it done by one of the offices in the Passport Office, saves you time. They charge around Rs.100/- for an online application, printouts, copies, filling it and helping you with submitting the right documents.

For instance, I did not know that I have to show my IT info if I submit my PAN card as a photo ID.

What you need to know before applying:

* Your height in cm
* How long you have been staying in the current place of residence
* Identification marks. Preferably enter the ones that have been mentioned in your TC.
* Names of two of your neighbors, who you are in good terms with.
* Police station of the area you live in.

Take plenty of photocopies of the documents you are going to attach with the application form. Take your time and check every detail, be alert. Note down the appoinment date and go there early. Take your headphones and load your phone/mp3 player with favorite numbers because you have to wait in the queue for long hours. You might even make friends with the person standing next to you and discover that he knows your long-lost school friend!

4) On the day of the appoinment:

Pack your originals and photocopies in a file, a water bottle, phone with headphones. Double check your application form. There will be seperate queues for the tatkal and ordinary applications. Stand in the appropriate one, when they direct you to a specific counter, submit your forms and get your originals verified. Then you'll be directed to another counter to pay the amount either 1000/- for ordinary or 2500/- for tatkal. Get the reciept from the counter and save it because you'll need it to check your status, later.

Make sure that the phone number you have specified is active all the time. The police call you for a verification through that number. If you are studying/working in a area that comes under a different police station then your application will be forwarded to that place. All that you have to do after this is wait until your passport is speed-posted to you. You will have to submit finger prints and four photographs to the police station. (evlo padicha medhaaviya irundhalum kai naattu vechae aaganum)

Other complicated details are available in the govt. website. :P

P.S: for those who dont know, passport is called as 'kadavucheettu' (கடவுச்சீட்டு) in tamil.

Caution and Control - Archaic??

2010-10-20T21:59:00.000+05:30

This is very similar to the whispered secrets that 'everyone' knows. A 19 year old girl gets pregnant, goes to a temple and gets married. With or without the consent of the parents, I dont know. But do these girls realize that life does not have a Ctrl+Z button?

She is just a kid. Even before she knows what 'life' is, she ends it!

You fall in love - OK. Goes on good - OK. You maintain your limits - OK. But throwing away the 2Cs is NOT OK. Is it some kind of new fashion trend or something? Do they call it cool? At that age, she is throwing away her career, education and everything else.. she becomes a mother when she herself is not yet an adult.

I am just plainly surprised.

My Music - A Gift I Lost

2010-10-15T22:49:00.001+05:30

In recent times, a couple of my school friends asked me, 'why did you stop singing?'. Until then I did not realize that I was not doing the 'real' singing I used to do. I had forgotten that I used to Sing,sIng,siNg,sinG SING all the time! If not excellent I was atleast passable.

Only after my friends asked me 'why', a memory buried sooo deep that I had forgotten about it for nearly 7 years surfaced. I was in the 10th grade that time. There were two of us girls, who sang at almost all the events. The other one was a first ranker, excellent in music, so in short - a star. On the other hand I was like a sidekick, I get to sing at the school assembly and she sings at the Annual Day... well, you get the picture. I did not bother about being not-as-good-as-her in music, I was happy until I was given the chance to sing.

And then this happened. There was some kinda contest, and the school choir gets to sing in front of some music director. And we all felt like 'really wow!'. And then when we assembled, at the library if I'm right, to decide on who stays on the choir and who doesn't, I was chucked out. I can still feel it. (in a slow motion) That state of shock, disappointment, shame. Brings back tears to think of it. The reason I was given for being chucked out was that I was an average student: "Kumutha, you are an average student, but *other girl* is not so. You cannot manage your studies and these practice sessions will affect you. So you cannot sing."

That day I was silent. Very silent. People who know me will know the significance. I am seldom silent. Mom knew, but I did not open up immediately. I ran to the terrace to cry silently. I felt ashamed for being rejected, for being called average(which is a truth nobody had thrown at me until then), for getting a 'you cannot' on the face. I felt like I let everybody down. I dont even know why I am writing this but I need to get this out of my system.

I had been learning music from my 3rd grade until my 7th grade (every monday and friday in the evening after school). Since my teacher found it inconvenient to teach us in the evenings she asked us to come to her place in the weekends. I enrolled for her classes. I was at the stage of geetham when this transition happened. And, I had learnt 2, just 2 geethams in a span of six months. All that I was doing at the class was pay her to play the shruthi box while the other students sang. This was not working so I stopped my classes. I do not know if this had something to do with the rejection that day. It does not matter now. All that matters now is that, I lost something I loved.

Well on a lighter note, it would have been a relief for some of my relatives and friends. I demanded audience even when I was practicing! Sang sa-ni-sa-ni invariably everytime my uncle came home, kept singing late into the night until I fell asleep. I am not able to get a simple song right anymore. I feel shy to sing these days. Sigh. My bad.

My Dear even-if-not-excellent-atleast-passable music talent,

Wherever you are, I want you to know that I miss you.
And, I made a mistake in letting you go. I feel very sorry for that.

Love.

P.S: idhellam padichittu naan ennamo P.Susheela, MS amma madhiri ellam padittu irundhaennu nenachukka koodadhu. Enga veetukkum enakkum naan thaan MS, P.susheela ellam. you know what they say about the crow, kaakkaikkum than kunju pon kunju.