Kunst der Kuh

How to create and make time for change.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 10:39:00 +0000

A few months back I was able to write for an online publication called Polite Society Magazine. I was thrilled that they asked me to, and I hope to again in the future sometime. For now, I'm able to share with you one some of it. This article is in the forefront of my mind right now as I navigate a more responsible path for me and my family to take in the future:

(All Rights Reserved. © Polite Society Magazine. Permission for Reproduction Granted.)

Time for change.

"Every human has four endowments- self-awareness, conscience, independent will, and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change."

-Stephen Covey

When we are children, our curiosity is insatiable. As we grow older, we somehow lose grasp of the desire to learn about the world around us. We go from taking whatever information is handed us to filtering out the things we think may upset us before the information even has a chance. This is beneficial to a point with all of the negative news the media throws at us (I'm a mother, so I know this can be hard), but unfortunately we have the habit of applying this idea to anything that makes us uncomfortable. Even more unfortunate is this habit of ignoring the truth can lead us to do damage unknowingly to people all over the world. I believe we can find that place we were at as children. We can listen indiscriminately and decide for ourselves, now as capable adults, what to do with the information.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "What we don't do can be a destructive force." When we fear the bad and don't learn about our world environment, our inaction can cause more harm than we'd be willing to first believe. So then, why do we choose to largely ignore this truth and blindly go about our days?

As a vegetarian I have often heard, "I don't want to know where my meat comes from." This concept of not wanting to know spreads far and wide throughout our country and the planet. While we are good and loving people within our families and social surroundings, we often act the fool on the world stage. Sometimes we don't know what to do with the information available to us, or we don't know how to compartmentalize it, so we choose not to listen. Some of us can't be bothered to find the time to learn about the inner workings of the world, but more often than not, we don't want to let the information activate our consciences. Thinking that your conscience can't handle the truth is actually a good thing as it means you care. Feeling guilty is not something we humans are good at dealing with, but you'd be surprised what you can handle if you turn guilt to action.

There is no darkness but ignorance.

-William Shakespeare

The one idea I have always had a hard time with is, "It's not my problem." I imagine this is a sort of coping mechanism to deflect the feelings mentioned above, but that doesn't change the fact that "It" is everyone's problem, and what you don't know can hurt you and others. The truth is our everyday actions cause harm, and our attitudes of willful ignorance perpetuate that harm. Farmers in our country and all over the world are raising families with serious disabilities and health problems due to pesticide use, because we insist on fresh apples in February. Entire towns don't have clean drinking water, because paper mills pollute the rivers while printing up the latest, best-selling novels. The clothing we buy on a whim is made from cotton grown on land where families used to grow their only food supply. And of course, everyone has heard of sweatshops, where men, women, and even children work in horrific conditions for, literally, pennies a day, while we pay sometimes hundreds of dollars for a purse or shoes. These things, these people, are why we should open our ears, our minds, and our hearts to the world around us.

Becoming aware of these things in our daily lives is a slow practice. It isn't easy or fast or even immediately gratifying, but it is worth the time it takes to learn. There are many places to start, the first place being in our own hearts. No matter how busy we are, how tied up we become in our own lives, we need to make the time to figure out how we can take a less damaging path. This is a choice we can and should make. We need to choose to absorb the information available to us and then make a plan. We need to have conviction and self-control. Once these things are in place, it becomes easier to make the right choices. It also becomes easier to process the bad information, because we then feel as if we are becoming part of the solution and less of the problem. That being said, nothing worth doing in life is easy, and the paradigm shift your life needs to become kinder and gentler is a large one.

It is wonderful how much can be done if we are always doing.

-Thomas Jefferson

We tend to resist change, and the list of reasons is long— lack of time appearing on it quite often. While we are busy in our day-to-day lives with children, work, school, and various other activities, we may feel worn out and unable to see where we can fit a new way of thinking into our lives. Not everyone needs to be an "activist" - each person need only take control of his or her own life. A small step is as important as a big step, and each step builds up quickly.

One of the easiest things we can do is realize we vote with our dollars. Each penny we spend tells a company we approve of them and their global practices. Giving our money to a humane clothing company tells the big box stores they are not going to get away with not having any idea of what goes on in their factories overseas. Buying organic food tells corporations we don't want farmers to be working with pesticides. Buying as few chemicals as possible, including plastics and cleaning supplies, helps keep manufacture of these products down and so companies that make them cause less damage to their workers and the towns they are in. Buying used and recycled goods is a wonderful solution, as it can reduce heavy metal mining and factory pollution, and even cut back on landfill usages that cause so many problems in poor areas of the world.

Once the plunge is made into a new reality, you will see that the time it takes to make a conscious decision at the store you are already in adds only a few minutes to your usual trip, minutes that will be less the next time you are shopping, as then you will already have your choices in mind. Aside from those minutes, you won't be giving up much else. You can still buy all the coffee, shoes, clothing, and household goods you want; they may just be a little different, and probably better.

I wouldn't suggest doing all of these things at once (or do, I won't stop you!) — but you may get burned out very quickly. The idea is to take small steps, one at a time, the most important of which is listening and learning, giving our consciences at least a chance to tell us right from wrong all the time.

It's important to remember that we can't do it all and no one should. The intention behind the action is what counts, and reaching for perfection is a futile pursuit. We also have to make compromises, because sometimes things aren't available in the form we'd like. For example, I'd prefer to get organic almond milk in glass containers, but the only available almond milk here is non-organic in cardboard and plastic containers. I buy it instead of making my family go without, and I know I will make up for it in other areas. As long as we are striving to learn and always looking forward to new ways of thinking, a new way of life will take grasp and it will become fun and easy along the way.

I implore you not to stop reading here; find your lost childhood curiosity, and go see for yourself what the world is and what you can do to make it better. All you need is a few extra minutes a day. Remember, while it can at first seem overwhelming, all of our small actions together can lead to less suffering and will most certainly make up a better human kind. There is a climate of change in the world, and you CAN be a part of it. All you have to do is believe in your human spirit, your own capacity for change, and then make the time to learn something new.

All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.

-Edmund Burke

KARI'S 10 IDEAS FOR SIMPLE CHANGE

(PRINT THIS OUT AND TAPE IT TO YOUR FRIDGE!):

1. Take it slow. It took me seven years to learn about and implement all of these changes into my life!

2. Use cloth rags and napkins. They don't need to be pretty (save two or three pretty ones for display). If you don't want to use cloth, then buy recycled paper towels, napkins, and toilet paper at the store- most groceries stores readily carry these things. If they don't then ask! Keep in mind Super Soft Special Extra White toilet paper isn't a luxury for the people living down-stream from the paper factory producing it.

3. Buy local and organic food. I see this advice everywhere these days, but it's still considered pretty extreme to be 100% organic. Do as much as you can, a little at a time since it can be expensive. Eat less and eat fresh. A lot of groceries are offering more and more organic foods, but don't forget about the local farmers' markets popping up all over the place. There is no nicer way to spend an early Saturday morning than perusing the brightest and freshest produce in your area. Look up your local Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) program, which will deliver fresh fruits and vegetables to your doorstep.

4. Buy fair trade food. This means that whatever was grown was done so by people getting paid a livable wage in good working conditions. It is always noted on the package label and is especially important for items such as nuts and cocoa products, which come from poor parts of the rainforests. All alternative food stores have "fair trade" items, and while they are a little pricier, they are usually of higher quality (and again, just eat less - we don't need king-sized bottles of chocolate milk mix).

5. Ditch the plastic produce bags! There are fancy reusable ones available at websites like Etsy.com, but I skip them too and simply group my vegetables together in the cart. No cashier has ever complained about my apples rolling around.

6. Learn to clean without chemicals. Baking soda, vinegar, and various other natural ingredients (such as salt) work as well as comet and bleach. There are options available at all major stores for natural cleaners and detergents. If you feel you can't afford them, learn to make your own; it's simple and fun and will cost less than your traditional detergents! A note to those skeptical of vinegar: it has no smell once dry, so your house only smells like it for a very short time, and if you mix in some lemon or lavender essential oils it will smell amazing AND clean! The more you do for yourself, the less of a burden you lay on someone else to do it for you.

7. Buy from responsible clothing manufacturers. Many are taking the plunge into fair trade. The Internet is a wonderful resource for fair trade clothing. Think quality over quantity, and think down to your socks! A pair of organic fair trade socks will last you five times longer than a pair from a big-box store. This goes for shoes, dresses, outerwear, and pretty much anything else you can think of. Don't forget to look for products made by the blind community, as this is a wonderful way to lend your support. Consider gently-used options as well.

8. Buy handmade! Almost everything can be found handmade - soap, makeup, clothing, household items, pet accessories… the list could go on and on. The Internet is again a great place to find what you need, but also look in your paper for local arts and crafts markets or farmers' markets. Connecting with the people behind what you are purchasing will be heartwarming and rewarding.

9. Recycle!!! Keep your unused items out of landfills in poor areas, and pass them onto someone who can use or remake them. This also cuts back on the production of brand new items made from raw materials that are stripped, mined, or otherwise obtained via very exploited, poor communities all over the world.

10. READ. Everything. All the time. Read labels and tags, newspapers and web pages, magazines and books.

Resources to get you started:

Documentaries

The Corporation

Food Beware: The French Organic Revolution

Tapped

Books

'The Story of Stuff' by Annie Leonard

'No Logo' by Naomi Klein

'Making a Killing: The Political Economy of Animal Rights' by Bob Torres (Not only explores animals as the title suggests, but also the human labor behind the meat industry.)

Websites

www.thestoryofstuff.com

www.transfairusa.org

www.diynatural.com

My favorite places to shop

www.etsy.com

www.lusaorganics.com

www.lush.com

www.amazon.com (for used books on the cheap!)

Late night Blumen.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 01:49:00 +0000

I may like to draw a little too much. This is how you draw a flower tattoo design and forget to go to sleep...

Collect inspiration from client. In this case, birth flowers of loved ones.

Draw each element individually to your liking:

Cut out and tape together each piece, in a pleasing fashion:

Connect with various vines, stems and leaves. Viola! Flower tattoo design.
And now I can sleep peacefully. ;)

Patience, huh?

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 22:28:00 +0000

I just couldn't resist any longer. Brenda helped me cut and comb out the dreads this evening. So much for a lesson in waiting...

I kept the ones in the front, for a little while anyway. I couldn't say goodbye to them all! But it feels so strange to have 'normal' hair again.

On a different note, look at this flipping cute kid! Getting a leg ride on P.J. Monday :)

I am not a blogger.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 23:51:00 +0000

I wish I was. I just can't find the time to devote to it like I sometimes wish I could. Sewing, painting, cleaning, cooking, working, socializing, cuddling with the boys. Nope, not enough time for blogging.
But I can still share things, so I will share this, because it makes me happy:

I so love blue lobsters. I have a whole Pinterest board for them (here!). This one is Zak's newest addition, done by yours truly this evening.

Some things:

-Working again is awesome, and it's hardly taking time away from being a mom. Finding that balance is really satisfying.

-Gearing up for some trips, London, Amsterdam and Prague in the next two months. I'm holding out for Spain before we leave. I need to see Picasso's Guernica in person.

-Our beloved little black gerbil died on Friday the 13th. His brother is lonely, but we will hold off on any more pets until after our move later this year.

-My registration for Sqaum went through! I will be there in September. *swoon*

A colorful life ;)

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 23:21:00 +0000

The new year is off to a good, bright start.

Love:

Beauty:

A self-made (late) Christmas gift (cool camera strap! wee!):

Really funky hair!!

New-old kitchen chairs. I don't have a before picture, but imagine blue fabric coated in flour, dirt, dried almond milk and play-doh. This fabric wipes clean. Need I say more? Oh yea, that tip on Pinterest that says you can polish furniture with a walnut is totally true and totally worth it.

A rocking horse for a very special little girl! Chris built it (based on Johnny's rocking horse, which was made for Chris by his grandfather 30 years ago) and I got to paint it up all pretty :) A little handle will be put where the flower on her head is, and I am going to make a matching rein. So cute! You can click on the photo for a better view of it, I love the tiny details and the wood is beautiful.

Funny I'd call this post bright. Chris looked it up today and we only have 8 hours of daylight per day right now, so that would explain all the dark photos! Ah well.. ;}

Happy New Year loves!!

Happy un-birthday!

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 01:36:00 +0000

....to my dreadlocks! Haha! they are 1 1/2 years old tomorrow. Little babies, just a little younger than my son.

To celebrate, I bleached the crap out of them. Gave them a little make-over.

They are coming along quite well, with almost no maintenance involved now (save for a good LUSH washing!).

I've always wanted them, but I didn't put much thought into them... I got so fed up with the post-baby-hairloss that I just sat down one day and started back-combing.

(brand new!!)

(8 months along.)

Then they grew. And grew. And grew. Which was awesome, but heavy and hot and cumbersome. And about halfway down my hair the dreads stopped and it was just fluffy, sticky hair. So we (my friend Megan and I) chopped them off. Then I was sad.

(but not SO sad.)

But it was for the best, they locked right up and there's been no turning back!

Until the last couple of weeks when I desperately needed to chop them ALL off. I don't know why. Thankfully I didn't and my hair angel found me and talked to me today and made up my mind to keep them .

Now, they are starting to feel like me. I know we will go through phases, but this is something I really wanted to do and I'm super glad I did it. But, satisfied as I am with them, I still need change. Hence the blonde. Possibly pink and orange soon. We'll see.

I'm thinking this is a good way to stop trying to define myself to other people, or to myself. I like punk music, hot pink hair and mohawks. I like swing music and retro clothing. I like Jimmi Hendrix and Led Zeppelin and dreadlocks. I like depression-era values, fine art AND tattoos. I like hiking and skating and swimming and reading. I love reading. Especially Little House on the Prairie and the Little Prince. I don't know why I've always felt all of this could not co-exist. It can, and strangely my hair is teaching me how to allow it.

Anyway! Happy unbirthday dreddies! You've grown on me. (get it? har har...)

sickies.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 11:35:00 +0000

Shaun the Sheep, noodle soup and orange juice. Again. Germany, I'll be glad to leave your winter funk behind....

(these photos were taken a little earlier in the year, these days we are all bundled up!)

Hooray Christmas!

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 23:39:00 +0000

Oh my word. I love Blogger. I wrote this and took a million hours uploading all the photos only to accidentally delete it (a second time!!)... but just now while writing it a third time I realized it was saving and so I rummaged around and found this as a draft! It's a Christmas miracle!!! Haha!!

This Christmas was about 4,527x's better than it was last year, thankfully! Nothing bad happened last year, but nothing good either. It just. Was.

This year we actually got out of the house and made it to the squadron party, so here's a more recent photo of Chris and I:

Gah, the difference between 24 and 30 is crazy. Haha..

We made friends of ours come over and celebrate in Christmas morning. (But it wasn't hard to twist their arms, haha...) It makes our hearth much more cheerful!

I made all the stockings. Ours (Chris's, mine and J's) are from two years ago (here).

This year I crocheted one, and sewed three. Charla's was bright rainbow, Melissa's was Nepali inspired and Zak's was pray painted with a stormtrooper snowflake! Brenda's was really fun though, it was a black & white fabric I picked up at the craft store and colored with a set of markers I have laying around. I looooove it!

Is it weird to not do Santa but still do stockings? I really do love that tradition, so I doubt we will give it up!!

There are snowflakes all over the house, thanks to Zak and Erin!

Our tree, in all it's gaudy tinseled glory:

The required Annalee elf (and Hans Solo!)..

This year I took the New England maple syrup my grandparents sent me and made maple sugar candy for the first time!! It was awesome, and just like the stuff we buy in New Hamoshire. Super life changing now that I know I can have it anywhere at any time! ;D

I also made vegan pumpkin cinnamon rolls morning of. With LOTS of icing.

We really cut back on gifts this year, and Johnny got good stuff. Like stocking booty... really, this kid was so thrilled to find a banana in his stocking!

A rad robot sweater from the Lalas!

German cookies... This was his 'want' gift. He's too young to tell me what he wants, but he asks for cookies first thing when he wakes up and about 65,000 times after that throughout the day. So it was a no-brainer. They came in a cool Hansel and Gretal tin that he will love playing with when they are finished, too.

Happy kid.

With one of the Lalas, passing out gifts.

And the big one. A wooden excavator that his dad made. A-freakin-mazing! He hasn't stopped playing with it and has asked to take it to bed, in the car and in the shower with him. He adores it, like whoa.

To top the day off (after a delicious Neatloaf Night) Melissa made us REAL Glühwein, flaming rum sugar and all!

Sigh.... It was a good last Christmas in Germany (sniff...sniff...). I love being surrounded by amazing people who help us make such nice memories!

Blarg, not blog....

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 23:40:00 +0000

Yea, the end of the year. My camera has not been charged in weeks, my groceries are spread all over the kitchen, my dishes are taking over, the house is slowly becoming more cluttered by the second (don't even ask about my craft 'areas') scratchy throats and sniffly noses prevail.
Same story, different year.
But somehow this year is very different, somehow I'm keeping my head above water, despite some old patterns falling back into place.
I am still managing to stay up too late, even during a personal FB silence.

I just bought new dishes and silverware, enough for four people, and that's it. Tomorrow I am packing up all the rest, including most of my pots and pans, mugs, glasses, bottles, utensils, ect. They will sit out of sight (in the garage) until they are out of mind and then they will be swept away to a new life (by the cleaner, my husband). I have a hard time getting rid of stuff... we have to take the bandages off slowly around here, no ripping for me :(

I wish I had a Christmas photo for you guys, but it will have to wait until next time. It was lovely. Simple and relaxing, just how I've always hoped it would be. And it included the most amazing cinnamon rolls you could possibly imagine, bonus!

For now, here's this... a photo from Christmas 5 (maybe 6?) years ago:

Yea, we were hot stuff. No biggie. ;}

Soooo much love.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 00:35:00 +0000

I love that moment in the morning, when I hear Johnny calling for me down the hall... I get up and walk down to see him peaking out of his door. As soon as I get to the door he runs over to his toys to show me what he's been up to, moving blocks or rolling around his cars. He wants me to play. All day, he wants to show me, or do things with me, and he's always finding things that make me laugh, and then doing them over and over... just like we've done with him since he was born. He's turned the tables on me, and I didn't expect it... I'm thrilled. beyond. belief. There's so many things you don't think about when you think, "I want to have a baby." I knew I was missing out on something, but I had no idea how much that something would be, or how much it would mean. I didn't know that him grabbing my finger to take me to his toys, or to show me an orange on the counter would brighten ~~my whole day~~. My whole life.

I love that kid.

perspective plums.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 22:57:00 +0000

I've had numerous enlightening conversations the past two days. I can't believe how much growing can be done in such a short span. Really it's got to do with paradigm shifts and perspective. Listening to people talk about how their lives have changed and shifted in drastic ways really puts things in order for me. Mostly it reaffirms the path we are on as a family. I couldn't be happier with the choices we've made so far and I look forward to many more down the line.
It will be hard work, but everything in life is perspective.as my dad has always told me. :)

I was reminded of all this by my defrosting jar full of plums that I couldn't stop taking photos of!

My dad says

A little winter.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 09:57:00 +0000

Fall is just about over, we had a really good frost yesterday, and the temp is hovering around snow weather. It's so pretty!

This is a terribly incorrect photo, but for some reason I really love it... these little flowers were so covered in frost.

The way the dew freezes on them is really cool.

Of course, normal for Germany, winter is welcomed with fog, fog, fog...

We have a small heard of cows behind the house, I just love them, too. :)

Five years of bread-making wrapped into one loaf.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 15:32:00 +0000

So much bread. So many good loaves and so many failed. None of them perfect for what I needed- a perfect sandwich bread for my picky husband who must have store-like bread for his grilled cheese sandwiches and toast... a trait with he has apparently passed onto my son. I like my bread crunchy and European, but the boys have simple tastes. Funny how it's much easier to make a yummy European loaf than this stuff. But it's not that hard, I promise.

Well, here it is; a serendipitous bread that fell from the skies and only took two small batches to perfect. It's not exactly like store-bought (so much better if you ask me) but it does the trick, and not just in a pinch!

This makes two loaves, and is the vegan version. You can use eggs and butter instead of flax and margarine, but I haven't tried that, so happy experimenting ;)

4 tbsp. ground flax seed

3/4 c. warm water

1/2 c. margarine

1 c. almond milk

1/2 c. water

2 tbsp. raw agave or maple syrup

4 c. all purpose or bread flour

2 c. wheat flour

3 tsp. active dry yeast

2 tsp. sea salt

In a small bowl, mix the flax seed and 3/4 c. warm water with a fork, set aside.

In a sauce pan gently melt the margarine into the milk. You want it to stay slightly cool, so don't boil or cook too long. Add 1/2 c. water and agave/maple syrup.

In a mixer or food processor mix 2 c. of the flour with the liquids and the flax mixture. Blend until smooth, then slowly add in 1/2 c. flour at a time. You may need to transfer mixture to a bowl and use your hands to get all the flour kneaded in. Knead dough until smooth and elastic, using cold-pressed olive or canola oil to keep it from sticking, about 5-8 minutes.

Form the dough into a ball and let rest in a covered bowl in a draft free spot until doubled in size, 1-2 hours.* Once doubled, punch dough down, cut in half and form loaves in two glass, slightly oiled bread pans. Cover and let rise another hour, or longer if needed (until it reaches the top of the pan).

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and bake the loaves for 40-45 minutes, until dark brown on top. Remove from oven and cover with a cloth dish towel for 10-15 minutes, and then remove loaves from pans to cool completely.

Store in a clean bread bag or in a paper bag. You can freeze one loaf and defrost at room temperature when you're ready to eat :)

*The longer your rise time, the less kneading you'll need to do.

(Also, I recommend eating it slathered in jam with this, or dipped in this on a cold winter day.)

October.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 17:47:00 +0000

October is by far my favorite month. Chris and I were married in October and J was born this month as well. I love the season and the food and the fresh air that blows through getting ready for winter. Even in Florida heat October felt special. Since moving away from that climate I have fully fell in love with this month :)

I used the past few weeks to work on a sort of life project and it's led to some really special ideas and moments. I guess sometime I'll go into that more, but for now here are some pictures from one of our walks this week :)

This made me think of the Giving Tree:

This guys is so old. And sweet. Check out his old lips! Haha!

This is his buddy, she is a little more shy.

She reminds me of a wild horse.

As does this kid...

I managed to get a painting done for my friend's son who adores bison. It's about 26" square, acrylic on canvas.

And Halloween!! I did practice makeup on myself and Brenda:

And this is our finished product, with two other lovely ladies :)

And can't forget the adorable monkeys! Johnny's not crying, he's making monkey noises! So stinkin' cute!
He wouldn't let Charla wear her mask, so we tried to paint her face up ;}

Tomorrow night is trick-or-treating, I'm thinking we'll go. I go back and forth because 1) he is still pretty young, and 2) he can't eat 90% of what is handed out. But, I got some reverse trick-or-treating cards and would love to put them to use. Plus, we'll just happen to be on base at the right time, and he does love his monkey costume, and I'll pretty much jump at any opportunity to let him run off some energy at this point! ;D

Happy Halloween!

Let's see how fast I can do this:

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 15:29:00 +0000

I want to update before J wakes up from his nap, which is soon... Not sure where to start, it's been so long since I've shared anything on here. So, in order of event:

I made some dresses (I love Octoberfest!):

I cooked over an open fire:

We ate delicious food around said fire:

We saw some giant pumpkins:

Played with good friends:

Visited the Bernkastle bears:

Made pear pie a la mode cupcakes:

Johnny cried a lot (does anyone else hate the term 'terrible twos' as much as I do? He's just an emotional growing boy trying to communicate!):

But still managed to be as cute as ever (if not more so!):

We prepared for winter with many gifted articles of clothing:

I made a cozy hat that fits my dreadlocks:

I repurposed some hand-me-down clothing to make them cooler (there's a Snoopy one also!):
Before:

After:

Made a tiny baby Dirndl!:

Went to a hippie bus party, where J wanted to play his little drum:

Happy hippie family:

Made sunflower butter and chocolate cupcakes for the big Two.

Played with my camera, and a kaleidoscope:

Took photos of my new favorite model (that's my pseudo-twin, Brenda):

Made raspberry filled chocolate cupcakes (raspberry syrup makes the prettiest frosting!):

Drank fresh pressed, spiced apple cider from my New Hampshire mug while wearing flannel, like a good Yankee in fall :)

Add to all that lots and lots of good friends and food, some sunshine and lots of down-time and you get the gist of it!

I've missed you all, and all the blogs I usually read, but we've been busy in the non-virtual world just kicking back and having fun!

xo!!

Johnny is two!

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 14:02:00 +0000

I'm realizing I'm not very "good" at his birthday. I want the first thing I think of to be him in my arms for the first time, but usually all I remember is waking up in a stark hospital ward and asking the nurse babysitting me if my baby was okay. It sucks, and so I tend to avoid thinking of his actually birth day.

But Johnny decidedly does not suck, he is awesome! And I of course want to celebrate that he is here and that he is just so cool :) We love him and you all know how lucky I think I am to have him!!

A no brainer...

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 21:06:00 +0000

I'm not sure of the origin of this, but it's all over FB. Just wanted to put it on here so that I could add it to Pintrest! I LOVE IT!

Life and why I live it.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 15:52:00 +0000

(this is super long!)

I always feel the need to explain myself. I think this stems from a need for me to analyze just about everything in my life, and explaining it to someone else helps me make more sense of it for myself. I've spent a lot of time in therapy sessions doing just that, talking myself into or out of things, and countless hours with close friends sifting through every idea that comes through my mind. I'm greatly interested in other people and humans in general and why we do what we do. In trying to understand others I also take a moment every so often to try and understand myself.
This morning I was able to sit and write and write and write without interruption, with only a soy chai latte keeping me company. I've been thinking for awhile about family and life and where I'm at right now, so I had a lot to get out onto paper. It's largely unedited and raw, but here you go:

I was driving down the autobahn today, too fast as I was late for an appointment, and my alarm went off in my head letting me know that driving that fast probably isn't safe and I should slow down. Whenever that happens my brain takes over and I get a whole barrage of images flooding my head of what will happen if I don't listen to my best interest... Car cuts me off... Guard rail becomes too close... Flipping into on-going traffic... Big rig takes me out. Yea, I can't say I'm always thrilled to have such a visual mind. But this morning, while I slowed to a safer pace, I let my mind wander past the threat- to my husband and friends getting the news of my untimely demise. Boy would they be sad. And my son! He's only two years old, he would never know his momma.

This is morbid, but it has a point.

I used to battle depression. I used to think of these things often. It used to be, "What would happen if I drove right off the road? Who would care? What would I be missing?" I'm actually thankful now, in my overactive imagination, my car leaves the road by someone else's fault other than my own. A semi-truck rather than my own turn of the wheel. It was a point of realization to me: I somehow, very slowly, have come out on the other side of depression. The thoughts of my friends' and family's sorrow if I should pass have kept me going for many years. I knew someone loved me no matter what I was feeling about my own life. I desperately grasped to that idea for a long time. I am still aware of that love but now it is a different feeling- one of satisfaction and happiness.

On coming through depression I have also come to terms with life and death; if something were to happen to me (and this is going to sound funny) I would be okay. I hope the people I know would know this about me. I've managed to find happiness and contentedness, and everyone I love knows I love them. There are a few I wish I could express that to a little more, but I am confident they feel it no matter how long we go between contact, as I feel their love strongly and consistently.

I don't want for anything any more. Getting to this point has been my key to surviving. Figuring out I always had my happiness is my greatest revelation. I don't know what an 'average' human existence looks like and I've never been one to look at life as 'happening to me'- it's just happening and I'm just here, a part of it all. Every person I miss, someone else misses them more. Every moment that changes my life also changes countless others. No situation is unique to me. I've always held things at a sort of arm's length because of that and I can't say whether it has helped or hindered my life. It has allowed me to have objectivity in a lot of situations but it has also caused my biggest regrets, which came into sharp focus several years ago after a succession of tragedies. People coming in and out of your life can cause you to become distant I imagine, and that has become my greatest regret.

I loath cryptic stories. If I'm going to tell you about myself I may as well save you the wondering. I also won't make it seem better or worse or more personal than it is. It's not just my story, I'm not alone in it.

After my dad had to leave when I was six my mom had a boyfriend who loved my sister and I like his own. I was young but I remember his smile. It was a difficult transition, as it would be for any kid and I don't remember much more, but I remember liking him. He helped us with our homework and made us dinners when mom was working or going to school. One night he carried me home from the baby sitter's house in the middle of the night. I pretended to be asleep but I remember the warm night air and his scratchy beard as I laid my head on his shoulder. His life was complicated and it wasn't easy, and he left sometime around the time I was in 3rd or 4th grade. He was good friends with my friend's dad so I saw him into my teen years until he died a heart complication. I never was able to tell him what his kindness meant to me as a small confused child.

My father also had a girlfriend at the time who loved us dearly, although we saw her a lot less often. I have spoken to her since they split, although not in the past year or so.

My first stepfather and stepmother came into our lives at the same time (my mom and dad both remarried within a month of each other when I was 12). My stepfather was a good man, but we never bonded. Perhaps I was too old at that point and weary of becoming attached to a new parent figure. But he had a son a year younger than me and I couldn't have been more excited about having a brother!
They were around for a few years and my sister, brother and I generally had a blast. After awhile it became much more difficult to blend as a family and they left when I was 16. Technically my mom, sister and I left, and our stepbrother moved across the country to live with his mom. My sister kept in touch with him but I never saw him again.
At 21 he shot himself, and I don't even know why. He has no idea what he meant to me as a brother.
Eight months later his father was killed sitting at a stop light on his motorcycle when a driver ran a light. Fortunately he and my mother had made amends after the death of his son.

So as not to leave anything out, I'll mention my sister moved to live with our father and stepmother at about the same time our mom split with her husband. I adored my stepmother, and it used to drive my mom crazy, but she was fun and sweet and very doting. She had an amazing open-armed extended family that my sister and I became very close with very quickly. And, although I parted with her on very bad terms and she has moved on, I managed to keep in touch with much of her family, but I only contacted them several years later after I cam to the conclusion that I couldn't let anyone else go without at least letting them know what they have meant to me.

So, at 22 I was newly married without a clue, away from my family, reeling from the sudden death of someone I had once been very lucky to call a brother, noticing large gaps in my 'family' history and feeling very, very depressed and lost. I felt like I had been searching so long for something, possibly the same as my step brother, but he had given up. I couldn't give up. I realized life was fleeting, relationships temporary. No one can predict what the hell will happen, the only thing we have control over is our own voice. Even through difficult relationships people have something to offer and we should appreciate and cherish what they have to give, because they are giving pieces of themselves, however small. We need to tell them we are thankful for them so there is no doubt that they are loved. We also need to allow people into our lives, no matter how fleeting the encounters may become.

This idea has allowed me to cultivate some very unexpected, rich relationships, to mend old damaged ones, and to renew lasting ones with people who have always been behind the scenes or right here beside me. These people and this love has always been here, my happiness has always been here. It's up to me to note and reciprocate, indefinitely and unabashedly.

Now I lead a life I am very proud of. I wouldn't be who I am without loss, I don't think I would treasure the people that I know now without losing the ones previous. I know current friend and loved ones will not always be here, but rather than that making me sad it only makes me more determined to love them now. It may be selfish in the long run, after all, all I want is to be happy.

What I've come to notice recently is, the longer I live with this thought (a'la the Beatles, "All I need is love!") I'm in need of less and less to survive. I'm becoming much less attached to material things and appreciate more what I do have. The same goes for food. I eat what I need and not much else. I think this is all directly related to me 'finding' my happiness, as I don't need to fill my time or life with external things.

The biggest shift has been how I view my friendships. In a military community people come and go often, you make friends and they move on- not something anyone is fond of. As friends have left over the past few years I have felt the whole spectrum of emotions, from anger and panic to sadness, to delight in their happiness over moving onto something new. But, while I still certainly miss the company sometimes, the void that I used to feel when missing a friend is no longer there. Now it's simply...

What it is.

It's another transition, Nothing is changing except the location of a heart. We keep in touch as best as we can, but it's okay if we don't talk for awhile. The important thing is they know how I feel about them and I know how they feel about me (and don't worry, I know!). Nothing is hidden or unsaid. Because of this I am able to take whatever and whoever life hands to me, whenever it it does.

Because of loss I count every day I wake up and don't get driven off the road a miracle. Nothing keeps me going more than the idea that it can all end tomorrow, or even today. It forces me to share my love, to live with every other living being in my mind at all times (or strive to, at the very least). I want my last thought to be a good one, my last action a loving one.

This is an interesting balance because I am not a yes (wo)man. I live my life for myself and do only the things I want to do. I never feel walked on or taken advantage of. I sometimes feel misunderstood but that is rare because I try to communicate openly and honestly with everyone I come into contact with. If you don't 'get' me, it's okay. I often don't get others but I do my best to be empathetic and kind to everyone. To be very Buddhist about it; Everyone has something to teach everyone else. If I want others to give me a chance I first need to give them a chance.

My dad, my mom, my sister and brother, my stepfather, stepmother and their families, people who have come and gone, my own family, friends and my loves- all have shaped me. Loss and love, wanting and waiting, creating life and watching it pass by, all of these things play a role in who I am. Deep in my heart I know how perfect my life is, and also how fragile. I feel deeply for those who struggle and feel pain and it never slips my mind that I could be in their shoes in an instant. I'm thankful for every second of the day in this life that I call my own, and for every single person who has added to it.

I am only 29 years old and far from perfect, I have a lot to learn and a whole lifetime ahead of me- and I'm looking forward to each and every unknown minute.

This is a sort of thank you, to all of you, all over the world, living and passed. Thank you for being you and making me- me.

A hipstamatic hiking adventure.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 17:43:00 +0000

I succumbed to the trend and downloaded the app for my iphone... It's free and kind of fun, so I'll take it :)

We went hiking in the Sud Eifel Naturpark, most known around here for it's waterfalls in Irrel. It was perfect outdoors weather, and we walked about 5km, much of it uphill. It was super relaxing and we got ice cream at the end!

Rain rain (don't) go away.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 23:07:00 +0000

It's pouring outside, and the projected weather next week is in the high 40's-low 60's. Sad for summer. Yet, everyday brings something new that makes me happy and the rain doesn't bother me at all. In fact, it allows for time for reflection. It doesn't change anything for us around here as far as our daily tasks go, we can bundle up and go play in puddles and mud as easily as we can go frolic in the sunshine. I much prefer sunshine (although not the burning hot and humid kind), but the rain only makes me appreciate it more.

When it was the dead of winter last year I vowed to spend as much time outside as possible. The 'bad' weather led me to push myself to learn new ways of having fun outdoors, and it's paying off now. While we steer clear of lightening and hail, I've learned to re-appreciate the rain. It's nice to feel the fresh breeze blow through with the storms, and to watch the earth come to life as it soaks up the water. There is life in rain. I knew this as a kid and watching rainstorms was my favorite way to spend an afternoon. Living in dreary, wet Germany kind of made me hate it. Trudging through town having to lug an umbrella was never any fun. Driving in it was the bane of my existence. But now, none of that compares to having to sit in a house with a toddler for any amount of time because I don't feel like getting wet. I figured maybe I just didn't like the rain when I wasn't prepared for it. So I bought good raincoats and big umbrellas, sturdy rain boots and warm layers. The rain will not stop us!

Turns out I love it, I had just forgotten. And Johnny really loves it. He picks wet flowers, looks at bugs floating in puddles, mixes the mud in his sandbox. He learns from it.

A few weeks ago we walked from the coffee shop on base to the grocery store. It's only about a ten minute walk, but it was drizzling and I was letting J walk, so it took us about half an hour. I had a hoodie on and he had a raincoat and we both had on good shoes, so we just meandered along while he inspected ever tiny flower he saw. MANY people stopped to ask if we would like a ride, but we respectfully declined each one. They seemed put off and I felt strange, as if I'd rather 'suffer' in the rain than get a ride with a stranger, which is not the case at all. We were enjoying our walk and didn't have far to go, so I just kept saying no thank you. Somehow I felt rude, but I would have missed the rest of our stroll otherwise.
It was a strange feeling but I remembered several years ago when I had to walk everywhere by myself and people rarely stopped (probably because I was sans baby) and it bothered me that people were not as helpful or friendly as I would have hoped. So this time I just smiled and was thankful that people are nice.
Thankfully we have modern conveniences, like a dryer so that we have dry clothing even if we can't use the clothes line. We have a warm fire place if we get a little too cold and a nice house to cozy up in when it's not safe (during lightening or hail). I will take the rain with the sun and appreciate both the same. :)

A farewell to milk, for world breast-feeding week.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 21:56:00 +0000

Since breast feeding is still fresh in my mind, I wanted to make a post for this wonderful week.
J has weaned at 21 & 1/2 months. I'm not jumping up and down celebrating, just stating the official finish to it. I'm also not unhappy about it, as it was a very smooth and natural experience from start to finish. I feel very blessed to have had such an easy time of it, and for it to have lasted this long. It feels like the right time, the time he chose, so I am happy for that.
It's bittersweet.
I've been thinking that I may not try to become pregnant again, and who knows what adoption holds for us in the future. Who knows what anything holds. Anyway, I'm beyond fortunate to have had this experience with my son, it's added more value to my life than I ever thought it could. I knew I always wanted to be a mom and breast feeding was so normal in my family that there was no question about that when he finally did come along. I had no idea what it would mean to me personally, especially after our difficult birth and c-section. Out of all the things they tell you you're not prepared for when you become a mother, the depth of emotion tied to our nursing relationship was the one thing I was really, really not prepared for.

I couldn't be more thankful for this chance to be all the mother I ever wanted to be.

p.s. I contribute A LOT of our instant breast feeding success to Chris, who was very willing to do skin-to-skin with our son while I recovered from general anesthesia. The first photo of J nursing is not of him on his mother, but instead he's receiving comfort from his dad's pinky finger! What an amazing man...

Babies of all ages and stages.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 20:54:00 +0000

My sister-in-law had a baby girl last week! Chris and I ordered her a purple ring sling and I made her daughter Layla a little dress with bunnies on it:

I also made a rare quilt with some cute fabrics I found a couple of weeks ago:

The front is made of new fabrics but the back, interior and binding are repurposed.
See what my fancy sewing school sewing machine can do?

In other news, my not-so-baby son is learning to go without a diaper finally! With sporadic ECing and cloth diapers I was hoping it would be easy and pretty seamless (like everything else we've managed, luckily) but I wasn't getting my hopes up. Turns out he's ready freddy! Yay! For now he is birthday suited just about all day (when we aren't out and about, obviously!) and he tells me he has to go about 95% of the time. The other 5%, well, yea. I have two dogs also, so that's not new.

Right now they are doing work on the house next door, so he spends most of the day in the kitchen window watching the bulldozer at work!!

This was like the millionth time I asked him to not stand on his kitchen. He has a play stand right next to it, but I guess the view is just better from there!

A not-so-fragile house.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 14:48:00 +0000

Snack! Organic grapes and bananas and almond chai milk:

We are eating way, way healthier the past few weeks, I'm so proud of us ;}

I've also been trying really hard to stop using any kind of plastic, at the table, in the kitchen, ect. We do still have some vintage plastic plates that I love, but other than that it's working out pretty well.
I was looking at a website that sells glass and metal containers for your freezer a few weeks ago, at $20 a piece! I'm sorry, but I can find no reason to spend that much on a food container. But did you know that you can put regular canning jars in the freezer? You just have to leave them open for the first few hours to allow the food to expand, then seal them and they are good to go!
I got these jars at the BX for $3.50 a piece, a MUCH better price!

Pre-cooked and frozen sprouted chick peas:

I thought, well these jars are pretty awesome, so I bought several and have been using them for leftovers as well in the fridge. We also tossed all the sippy cups and now I just bring along a little canning jar like the ones in the snack photo above for J's on-the-road drink, if I can't find the canteen. It's amazing what your kids can learn if you give them the chance... like, don't dump your drink in your car seat and don't drop glass on the floor. A little time and patience and these things are non-issues around here while using glasses. Snacks get thrown into a metal bento box, or in one of the nylon or cotton bags I made awhile back. I like the jam jars for on-the-go because they are a little sturdier than recycled store jars, which I use to hold spices or other small ingredients most of the time.

Still, there are a few plastics left, like the gallon bags holding my foraged tea leaves. Maybe I'll get lucky and find some giant air-tight mason jars! :)

I'm not sure why people don't use glass more often? We don't NEED plastic. I've thought about the 'dangers' of glass, it dropping and breaking, ect. but I can't justify that as a reason for not using it... I mean, my son may drop a cup, but I am always nearby and would be able to 'rescue' him from the pieces. I guarantee you that he is not superman and will not squeeze a cup so hard that it explodes in his hands! ;D

Prayer flag tutorial.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 17:02:00 +0000

A few years back I discovered Tibetan prayer flags. I made some traditional ones for a friend of mine after her father passed, and I've loved them so much that over time they have become a staple in my life.

You can google them for the full meaning, but basically prayer flags are a string of red, yellow, blue, green and white fabrics with traditional symbols and mantras printed on them. They are thin fabrics that unravel easily in the wind and you hang them with all of your good intentions in mind. As the threads unravel and blow off in the wind it is believed that they carry your good thoughts, prayers, blessings and intentions out into the world, for all to benefit.

I was fixing up our yard a little this spring and wanted to hang some new ones up behind the house. I did go and buy a string or two of pre-made ones but I felt like something a little more personal was needed, so I decided to make my own. I picked fabrics that had colors close to the traditional kind, and ones that had the most meaning to me. The whole idea behind the flags is to send your best wishes out, so I wanted fabrics that were full of good memories and great wishes.

Hand sewing them is a great meditative task, but if you have a machine it will go much, much quicker. When you hang them please be in a peaceful and relaxed state. I think that anyone of any religion can make the most of these, as good thoughts and prayers are always needed for those around the world.

When my friend Jessica was here she took some really lovely photos of the flags, although now they are pretty faded and thready :)

So here you go, please excuse the awful format as I took photos of the instructions instead of scanning them. And also, my spelling ;p there's no auto correct on my note paper!

Thrifting.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 14:10:00 +0000

I haven't shared thrifting finds in awhile, mostly because I haven't been doing much, but also because when I do, there's a lot! Or it's not very spectacular. I noted yesterday that I had a pretty boring haul, a simple basket with a few canning jars and some glasses. But THEN. There were the boots... and the bottle, and the vase....

That's a bottle full of nettle chai tea (love in a bottle, actually):

Last fall I was scouring Ebay for these boots. There were plenty of options but all pretty expensive or not nearly my size. These were just sitting there, in perfect condition- my size and only FIVE EUROS!!

One of a set of cute glasses for J's breakfast. His dad lets him watch old school Looney Tunes on the mornings he makes him breakfast, so I thought he'd like these.

And lastly, pink Depression glass! I try hard not to 'collect' things anymore because I have the tendency to collect too much and it gets overwhelming, but this glass is so lovely and pretty rare and I'd love a whole shelf of it in the future. I do use whatever I find and we did need a vase :) The covered dish I found a few weeks ago and I couldn't pass it up, it's now siting on the counter keeping this morning's biscuits safe from the dog. Even here at the thrift stores and flea markets it's a little expensive, but it's just so pretty!