Kunst der Kuh

Eating well, sleeping and trees.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 01:12:00 +0000

If you have read back in this blog at all, you know that I like good, healthy food. And not so healthy from time-to-time, but almost never what I would consider 'junk' food. I've also preached the importance of eating well for health quite a lot in the past. That holds true to me even more today than it ever has.

I started eating vegan and gluten free almost two months ago. I won't go into the details of why, that's a whole 'nother post, but I have had fun cooking since then so I will share a bit of food stuffs. Vegan has been easy PEASy (see what I did there? lol), but gluten free... phew, that was hard! I say 'was' because I've gotten over the hump and don't have any cravings anymore, except for the determined need for a tortilla once in awhile. But the way I feel without gluten wins over the few minutes of deliciousness I could have with it. I think the choice I made to go vegan, give up wheat, coffee, and most processed foods in all the same day is really what made it most difficult. Baby steps, folks, baby steps.

Anyway, a few things I've learned:

Beans are amazing. I already knew this but now I use them even more.
Nuts are a miracle food. Seriously.
Alternative sources of sugar are far better than the white bagged stuff.
A little fore-thought can take you a loooooonnnnnggggg way.
The simpler we keep things, the easier they are, and the happier this mama-cook is.

I now make A LOT from scratch. I did quite a bit back in Germany, but this is a new level. A lot of vegan foods are not gluten free, and a lot of gluten free foods are not vegan, including most of the bread. This makes it so that I can't just whip up a grilled cheese sandwich on a whim, I have to get my cheese/carb fix elsewhere, or make my own bread (which is much more complicated in the gf realm, and I've already mentioned how much I dislike gf breads). Add to that J hating nutritional yeast cheezy sauce and we've got a problem. But I'm slowly weaning him into it, and I'll feel better when I can get the boxed mac & cheese crap out of our house altogether. I'm not really into making more than one meal, so I have to come up with stuff that the whole family will eat, hopefully, *fingers crossed*.

So, no fancy ingredients, no complicated recipes... just good, wholesome food. Sometimes things seem a bit 'rustic' but I don't mind that at all.

Like black bean burgers:

Adapted from this recipe: Home-made black bean veggie burgers.

1 (16 ounce) can black beans, drained and rinsed, laid out to dry for a little while

1/2 green bell pepper, diced

1/2 an onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, smashed and chopped well

1 tbsp. flax meal

3 tbsp. water

1 tbsp. chili powder

1 tbsp. cumin

1/2 c. gluten free bread crumbs

pinch of sea salt

In a medium bowl, mash black beans with a flat objet (bottom of a glass, flat potato masher) until thick and pasty. Mix in bell pepper, onion, and garlic, flax, water, chili powder, and cumin. Mash and mix well with your hands.

Divide mixture into four patties.

If grilling, place patties on foil, and grill about 8 minutes on each side. If baking, place patties on baking sheet, and bake about 10 minutes on each side.

I served it with avocado and spinach... soooo good :)

I've already used almonds and cashews for a while in cheese and milk and meal making. I make our almond milk for the most part because of cost and carageenan. I just almonds and water, no sweeteners or thickeners since I use it in all kinds of things, and sweet vanilla almond milk in gravy is not so tasty.

It only takes me a few minutes these days, although I was always intimidated thinking that it would be time consuming.

I just soak a cup of almonds in a jar of water overnight, then drain them and toss them in the blender. I add another 3-3 1/2 cups of water and blend the crap out of it all (maybe about a minute or so). Then I take a strainer and line it with a regular thin dish towel (or an old flat-fold diaper that I used to use for J's burp cloth) and pour the milk/pulp in. Next all there is to do is grab the corners of the towel, twist the whole thing up and squeeze out all the 'milk'! It lasts three days in the fridge and is great on cereal or for sauces.

The best part about making my own milk is the excess of almond meal I have left-over! It's great for baking and I even make a mock-parmesean cheese from it. To get the meal I just spread the wet granules onto a cookie sheet and cook it for a few hours at 200˚ F, stirring it up once or twice. The time it takes to dehydrate will depend on how much liquid you squeezed out in the first place, about 2-3 hours. Then I run it through the food processor until it's as fine as I'd like and keep it in a ziplock in the freezer. That stuff can get expensive, so it's a nice break to our grocery bill.

Although I've been working with milks and meals and rudimentary cheeses (like a faker ricotta), I've never ventured into using nuts for whole dishes.... until yesterday! I made this cheesecake for a swim party we had, and it was so very, very good.

J likes his with honey.

I used this recipe for the crust: Gluten free almond tart or pie crust.
And this for the cheesecake part: Raw, vegan cashew cheesecake.
I didn't have dates, walnuts, or coconut, and didn't care too much about it being raw or not, so I just had to be sure to pre-bake and cool the crust all the way, before adding the cheese.

This food adventure is getting more and more adventure-y while, at the same time, becoming more stream-lined. I definitely know to look for very simple recipes with minimal ingredients... unless I'm making Indian food, in which case the more the merrier!

~~~~~~

I have to share this, too. Yesterday I got J to take a nap with me, which is super rare. He's so, so beautiful.

He also sleeps a lot and still naps about two hours a day! Go Johnny, go!

~~~~~~

And since you missed so much in my blog silence over the past few months, I will be sharing moments here and there from our adventures (we had a few!).

J and I inside a giant Sequoia tree in California on April 14:

We are actually in a burn scar inside the tree. The lighter brown on the outside will eventually grow around the tree and close it off. I learned that Sequoias only grow so tall, but will grow out for just about ever- a totally cool way of adapting to the fires that occur up there!

chaos.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Thu, 13 Jun 2013 14:57:00 +0000

I found this and feel that it relates to my last post well:

Hellllloooo out there!

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 04:57:00 +0000

Hey there ol' blog (and all you guys who read it!). I think I'm back, I'm going to try to write more anyway, I'm missing it an awful lot.

I spend a lot of time dreaming of the things I want to do. Lots of planning, lots of thinking, lots of aspirations that most people don't even know about because I never get to them. I feel kind of crappy about that most days, and I don't fully enjoy something when I feel like I can't keep up with the people who do these things really well... like blogging. And tattooing. And being a housewife. Thankfully not being a mother, I love that and don't care how others do it. ;)

I procrastinate... a lot. And I feel bad about it, even though no one ever seems to have much of a problem with it but me. I have so many things I want to learn, a whole back-log of classes I'd like to take or books I'd like to read, but there is always so much in front of those priorities that I rarely get to them.

I have very good intentions. Not such great follow-through. All these things pile up and I get pretty overwhelmed, and then wind up doing not much of anything at all.

The issue here is that when I do get it together, maybe for a week out of each month, I feel like I'm faking it. I do well, I make appointments, do some freelance work, keep a budget and a food plan. We make it to the library more often and I get to yoga class during the evenings. I get plans made for the future and feel really good about my follow-through. But the whole time I'm doing this, although I feel good, I just don't ever feel like 'me'.

Last week, before my first group sewing class, I spent the entire evening before preparing information folders and testing out my class on a friend. I was rushed, and a little disorganized, and very, very nervous... But also very happy and optimistic, and, as usual, I got it all done... and it all went better than I could have imagined. And I was elated, not because I didn't think I could get it all done, but because it had all gone as I had planned. I realized that that is me. I stew and think and put things off, and then I rush around (feeling *extremely* productive and alive) and pull things off just fine, usually better than fine. I apparently work really well under pressure, and I think that's okay. It's just who I am. I'm not type A, that's for sure. Not even type B, I have a hard time truly relaxing...

So anyway, as I was feeling bad for putting everything off again (even though it all got done) I thought, "Wait a minute. This works for me. Why am I feeling bad?" And so I won't feel bad anymore. I won't let it drag me down and suffocate me. I'll just do what I want as it needs to be done, not as I think it *should* be done.

I feel about a thousand times lighter already. Why has this taken me 31 years to figure out? This isn't any different from how I already operate, except that now I will feel less guilty and probably will get more done in the long run. That's my theory, anyway. ;)

Let's just call it spontaneity.

~~~~~~

Speaking of spontaneity, we managed to go on our first family camping trip this weekend! We went down to Patagonia Lake state park near the Mexico border. Totally beautiful and totally needed. Chris and I barely bickered (which we tend to do a lot while traveling) and J did amazing. I let him come out to look at the starry sky around 10 p.m. and he was literally aghast. He slept all night in the tent in his own little bed and had a lot of fun exploring and swimming. We are definitely going back down there soon, and I am not even a little afraid to camp with J by myself now!

Our tent, next to the lake.

Patagonia lake, with some buzzards I startled.

~~~~~~

One other thing I wanted to write down was just about this blog in general. My life is very different than it was in Germany. Of course nature was a huge part of it there, here it's a bit more difficult to get out and enjoy with the summer heat (and my deathly fear of poisonous snakes/scorpions/spiders). That hasn't stopped us per se, but it has drastically changed the way we spend our time outdoors and the way I've been able to document it. I'm much less inclined to just stop and take photos while letting J wander through the brush. Also, my camera lenses have been broken since we moved here, so I've been stuck with my phone camera, which is less than stellar since it's a Blackberry.

So things have been a little weird for me when it comes to writing here, my focus has been blurry I guess. Not sure where to channel my energies...

For now I'm going to just use my phone photos and edit them in ridiculously 'creative' ways, (who cares if they don't look 'professional'!) and write about what's important to me now. Johnny, of course, and my musings on parenting and Buddhism. Food, as always (if not more! I'm gluten free and vegan now!) and nature every chance I get. Also some work thrown in... sewing and art. :) I also will make an effort to start labeling posts, for easier searching.

~~~~~~

Well, you've read this far, so I'll share a treat with you! This is my absolutely favourite thing to eat/drink at the moment. Usually it's a chocolate peanut butter smoothy, but today I added a huge scoop of raspberry jam and made it magical! I've been gluten free for almost 6 weeks and have been seriously craving a pb&j sandwich, but I hate all the gf bread out there. I often substitute this for a whole meal, so I add coconut oil since I'm not worried about fat content, but you can leave that out, obviously. I do think oils such as coconut are essential to a healthy diet though! I make this thin and ice cold and J gulps it down.

one banana
3-4 cubes of frozen, pureed spinach (I do these in ice cube trays and keep them in a ziplock in the freezer.)
2-3 tbsp. organic peanut butter
2-3 tbsp. jam of your choice
2-3 tbsp. cocoa powder
1-2 tsp. chia seeds
1 tbsp. coconut oil
alt milk (almond, coconut, soy, ect.) to just cover all ingredients in the blender
a small handful of ice cubes
dates, maple syrup or agave to sweeten to taste (the jam does a pretty good job of this)

Just toss all of this into a good blender and blend until smooth. I usually add the ice cubes after everything is blended and then blend again, that keeps it nice and cold. This makes easily 2 servings. I've kept it in the fridge overnight and it was just as good the next day.

So there ya go, a little of everything! Glad you're still here. ;)

On being the change.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 22:17:00 +0000

Stream of consciousness writing is a goal I am striving for in my artistic process.

I usually don't do it, but it opens the gates for more ideas, for sure.

Anyway, here are some thoughts I've been sitting on for a few weeks.

my place is becoming clear. be the change. teach the change. become without fearing. create a beautiful world. intentions, love, freedom. take the old thoughts and destroy them. tear them down until they are just rubble and sand. piece by piece build bits together, create a new reality. stand in the face of hate, greed, ignorance. build in the shadows of those that want to destroy humanity. build the walls higher and higher, until all anyone can see... is love.
make acceptance the only idea that needs understanding. reject ideas that tear people down... accept ideas that tear fears down. become a fighter for those that can't fight, and stand beside those that can. become togetherness and drive. drive to keep this world beautiful for our children. teach them to believe in the beauty, above all else. teach them to see pieces of themselves in each other. we are not alone, our place is together.
together we can love. we need not close our eyes and erase differences. we need to embrace and celebrate what makes us unique. the uniqueness in each of us is our drive to live, to survive. what makes us become part of a whole? it is not all being the same, it is bringing differences and appreciating them in others. we can lend to each other the courage, the strength, to love ourselves. we love ourselves- we love each other. it is okay to stand out. we must in order to teach. who will listen if we sit back and fade into the crowd? who will believe in our voices if they are meek and scared?? who will take the time to notice, if we ourselves don't make an effort to make it be known that we are HERE?! ... and we will fight for what's right and good. we will fight for equality, peace, love, acceptance. and we will use our hands, our voices, our hearts.
we will not be afraid to be the change.

This boy.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 06:37:00 +0000

I haven't written much about J in months.... today I feel the need to write some stuff down.

Over the winter holidays we drove thousands of miles to visit family 'back East' and this kid didn't bat an eyelash. I'd like to brag for a second and mention that we don't have a DVD player and he doesn't have an iPod. Just us, the road, some plastic dinosaurs, and a coloring book. I was terrified, and he proved to be just as good at traveling as my sister and I were at that age- before there were DVD players and iPods...

That's not all. He *loves* hiking... for hours and hours.

He begs for haircuts and sits perfectly still for the buzzers.

He is SO independent and can make his own PB sandwiches and even -carefully- pour his own OJ. He can put on his own unders, socks, pants, and coat.

He hasn't eaten a veggie (knowingly) since before Christmas.

Luckie is his best friend, they play chase and catch everyday.

He loves vintage Spiderman cartoons, and anything train, robot, or dinosaurs.

He can build a Lincoln-log house all by himself, slat roof and all.

He sings a song when he's playing with his trains that goes, "train tracks, train tracks... train tracks, train tracks..."

He is in constant motion. All. The. Time. Unless he's asleep, but then he's in motion again the second he's awake. He wakes me up in the morning and tells me I have nice hair, then asks if I'm awake and tells me it's time to eat. And then we hit the ground running. He's the energizer bunny reincarnate... Which is why I'm not worried that he hasn't had a veggie in months... He's obviously healthy (right? is that how it works? haha...)

He naps like a champ, like 2 hours a day, seriously. Man, I love that about him.

I love everything about him.
Yup. 3 1/2 year old Johnny. He is just what I needed in my life.

P.s. Last week he told me his feet were on fire because he was a rocket and it helped him fly. Today he asked me to fix his scraped knee. When I said I couldn't fix it, that it would heal in time, he asked me if he would grow a new knee, which totally, *totally* makes me grin.

P.p.s. Those two photos were taken like three days apart. Arizona is turning out to be a kind of strange place.

31.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Sat, 09 Feb 2013 05:18:00 +0000

I had a birthday a few days ago. This was taken that night.

I feel like I'm finally growing into the woman I want to be. Here's to another year of growth and change.
*Cheers*

Flattery.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 08:13:00 +0000

I am staying in Vegas helping out my 'bestie' again and today as I was cleaning up and going through some of her daughter's school papers from last week, I found this!

How sweet is that!? I think that painting (see my most recent previous post) is much better as a seven year old's drawing. Also, it ties right into Illustration Friday's theme of 'wings' so here it is!

makelivelovemakelivelovemakelivelove

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 07:33:00 +0000

....Lots of dreaming going on around here. Lots of real life, too, however good or bad. Writing and sharing life has taken a back seat to just being in life, and taking it day by day... and doing art in any spare moment there is.

I'll be back to check in when this life allows.

xo!

(P.s. You can buy a print of the little bird above here, if you are so inclined.) :D

In Vegas.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Sat, 01 Dec 2012 22:43:00 +0000

Boy, I used to hate it here. Turns out the culture shock of coming to Las Vegas from Germany was a little much. Tucson to Vegas, muuuuccchhh better. Plus I have part of my family here to keep me occupied. I came this time to help with a birthday party and stayed to help with life. Johnny and I leave tomorrow and I am actually going to be sad to go. Good thing we know we will be back soon!

Katie's daughter, Genny, had an Across the Universe party. So cute! Stars and strawberries on the ceiling, yummy treats and cute games. Lots and lots of sugar and sparkles, haha!

Johnny went to Genny's school for a few days, and the rest of the time he has spent in the sandbox out back.

It's amazing how many places feel like home to me now. J and I can settle in pretty easily almost anywhere at this point!! Little things and awesome people from lives past show up and are very comforting indeed. It's been quite the soul-fufilling stay, for sure.

We are about to put that idea to the test as we drive off into a desert sunrise on a week-long road trip to Florida for Christmas- just me and J! I'm really looking forward to stopping and visiting with some great friends and family along the way, and of course the family at the end of the road!!

5x7 Folded Card

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Sun, 25 Nov 2012 20:16:00 +0000

Picture In Portrait Christmas Card

Send Christmas cards personalized with your favorite photos.

View the entire collection of cards.

life lessons.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 22:08:00 +0000

I feel like it's time for one of those deep posts about life that I used to write so often.
I guess when life gets busy you just don't have much time to reflect and think, but then as things settle down it all coms flooding back. Especially after such a huge change as moving halfway around the world.
Today as I was driving around town I was thinking about how we are trying to make new friends here. This got me thinking about the friends we do have, and how we managed to get them into our lives. This of course led to an evaluation of my life morals and where they came from (okay, maybe I over-think things).
I have a very certain philosophy on life that cannot be summed up in a few short sentences, but I would like to at least try to share.
Strangely, the three people who have influenced me the most in my life don't know and probably never will know how they have impacted me.
One has passed, one I barely know, and one I haven't spoken to in many years.
But this is what I have learned in my encounters with them:

~Always trust love, and love whoever you can, whenever you can, without attachment. Love can be fleeting or long-lasting, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is sharing with someone that you care for them and felling cared for in return (possibly not by the same person, remember), however briefly that may be. It doesn't have to be physical, it doesn't have to be returned (although, of course, that's always nice) it doesn't even have to be spoken (but I encourage it to be!). It just has to be. Every time you let love in, your sprit/soul/heart/whatever expands and grows and becomes open for even more good and more love. Let it lead it's natural path and let it go if you have to in the end. I promise you it's still better than never finding it to begin with, and you never know when the moment will pass.

~Be accepting and compassionate. You don't have to agree with people, you don't have to always be nice and not voice your opinion, but you should always give a person a chance to be their authentic selves around you. You will learn SO much and build strong relationships, some that will be bonded and never broken because at some point, you two felt truly at peace with each other together, despite your differences. You will also see how this rubs off on others, becoming a sort of mantra for the people you know. You will attract people who feel the same and you will never, ever want for true support and guidance. Some people you are dealing with may not return the favor, but again, this doesn't matter. You may literally save lives because at some point, you may become that one person someone can turn to when all else has failed.

~Always trust yourself and have faith in your intuition. If you feel like you should be someone or somewhere in your life, 1.) realize you are already that person and, 2.) get there any way you can. If you have a bad feeling about something, then abandon it as soon as you can. Don't trust anyone else to get you where you want to go. Do it for yourself and make it happen. Listen to your heart as actively as possible, meaning, never let it fade to the background. Our intuition needs practice to become strong, but when it is strong it is a guiding light that you couldn't have imagined. I'm sure some may call this God, or the Universe, or whatever a belief may be, but I think that outside of those influences we have something deep inside that can help us navigate our days and lives. Trust it, like you would trust a loved one with your life. Listen to it, learn to tap into it. YOU are your best guide in this world. *This has always served me especially well, but has become more and more important to me this past year.*

I hope that you can glean something from this. The only other thing I want to share is that you can't wait for the world to bring luck to your door. You can't pray for it, you can't wish for it, and you sure as hell can't just expect it. You have to DO it, MAKE it for yourself. Take chances, scary ones. Live outside your comfort zone. Take life obstacles with a grain of salt. Keep moving, keep doing, keep becoming and you will find out how fortunate you truly are.

I love you guys!

~~~~~~

I also wanted to share my next step in city living: My bike is here! Yayyyy Edie!!

Sadly, she is not working, I messed up the back wheel drum somehow. BUT there is an amazing bike co-op here that will teach me how to work on her right and I will get her up and running in no time! I'm looking forward to hanging out down there and learning a thing or two :)

I do love a deal.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Sat, 03 Nov 2012 04:34:00 +0000

I am not doing this for free services or rewards or anything like that, but I'm really excited about our new business cards so I am sharing about them here.

So, several weeks back I bought a Vistaprint Groupon, thinking that it may come in handy for Christmas or something.
Now there are plans in motion for the Art Barn Project, so I decided to use it on my and Katie's new business cards :D
Including the coupon and shipping, I got $108 worth of cards- for $29!!
AND they are 100% recycled! Yay! Vistaprint did not offer that option the first time I ordered cards several years ago, so I am glad they are moving into the future with that. :)

So here is their little linky to a preview of the front of my cards:

Business Cards by Vistaprint

Hooray for moving forward!

P.s. Speaking of deals, I got the coolest pair of white and pink striped trouser pants today for $2.50. Heck. Yes.

Do-Over

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 05:47:00 +0000

Hi!
We are officially open for business!
Introducing Do-Over:

This is the bebe booth, I cannot wait to see how it evolves! It will be filled with art and love, I will continue to post about it as it goes :) So neat to have a permanent spot for Katie and I to peddle our wares!

And, I am also officially teaching sewing classes! I really think that teaching others to do something for themselves will be very rewarding, as it has been in the past. I actually am not sure why I have not been doing that all along, seeing as how I love it so much.

So, have a good weekend!

falling in love with the desert.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 02:47:00 +0000

Zak took J and I on a drive today, it was just breathtaking. We were just outside of Tucson, right at sunset... Pretty amazing.

In the shop this week.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Mon, 22 Oct 2012 07:26:00 +0000

I've recreated my Etsy! New name, new banner, all new in preparation for my business adventure with Katie :)
So I figured each week I will make a post showing you what's new, either in the online shop, the (as of yet) theoretical traveling market bus, or the soon-to-be booth right here in Tucson.
These are things I just listed in the Esty, now named after this here blog, Kunst der Kuh.

So exciting! There are even collaborations in the works with other friends, how can that NOT be exciting?! :D

Here's to art every day and reaching for the stars. And friends, always to friends!! xo!

three.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 06:33:00 +0000

My camera is broken, so I've been using my blackberry to take photos recently. Really lame, but I feel it's a lesson in letting go and letting my memories be just that- pictures in my mind; especially on a day like today, when my baby boy turned three!
We didn't wrap his big present and had him cover his eyes instead, which was really cute. So hard not to snap away and take a million photos, but I felt more present than usual not ducked behind my camera checking to make sure I had a good shot. Interesting realization in the end.

What a sweetheart. He's amazing, really. He went through this move barely noticing all the changes, just going with the flow and enjoying moments with new people every few days/weeks. A few months ago he was weary of new people and tonight Chris brought a coworker home and J wanted him to go play trains in his room before they even knew each others' names. He is no longer worried about where I am at the playground, he washes his own hands and gets his own water. He was mad at me the other day when I almost forgot to strap him into his car seat, and he lets me know when he's ready for a nap. I never have to wonder why he's upset or crying, he tells me just what he needs or wants, all I have to do is listen. He will spend all day making me think my work here is done and then he will climb up in my lap and ask me to sing baby beluga while rocking him, reminding me that I am far from done and he will be my baby boy for awhile longer, thankfully.

So Johnathan, if you ever look back on this, I think you are the best three-year-old a mother could ask for. You have taught me more about patience and kindness and empathy than I ever thought a small person could. You've taught me to listen and to take things at face value and ask for what I need. And to nap when I'm feeling tired or sad. You are a champion napper, my boy.

I look forward to this next year while looking back fondly on the previous years (years! so hard to believe already!). What a cool kid we have!

(Here are some photos from before the camera broke, of J doing his favorite thing: lining up his cars and then rolling over them like a steam roller... and then of course lining them back up and taking photos of them like mum!)

what i needed.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 06:07:00 +0000

lush bath bomb (lavender and tonka absolute)

yes. please.

my homework assignment for my art/living class was to take a bath. to fill it full of herbs and soak and soak and let it all go. i didn't have herbs handy and didn't get to the store, but i had an old bath bomb laying around that is all my favorite scents mixed together. that plus some baby bubble bath was all it took to sweep me off my feet. the movie was an indulgent addition played on my laptop, one that had been sitting in my que for a very long time just waiting for the right moment. cute, sad, blissful edie.

not sure where to go from here. bed? i feel fabulous! i don't remember a bath this comforting in at least 15 years. man. a blog-worthy bath, if you can believe it ;)

what do you do to take care of yourself?

bumpy roads.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Wed, 17 Oct 2012 15:39:00 +0000

Dear loved ones:

It seems that everyone around me is in some insane state of flux. Families are moving, changing, growing and dissipating. Jobs are doing the same. Almost as if our sleepy universe stood up and said, "Wait a minute. What's going on here? It's time for change!" and shook us off it's back with the flick of a shoulder.

In any case, things are changing, and it doesn't seem all bad. It's not so bad especially because we are clearly not alone in this adventure.

I was fortunate enough to spend last weekend with two of the most inspirational women in my life (besides my mother!). We joined our families together for breakfast and lots of talk about what is to come. (How funny that it says 'meuse' behind Emily, as Katie and Em are certainly meuses of mine).

The horizon is far for some, closer for others, but we are somehow on this path together, even if distance divides us. Leaving all the beautiful people behind in Germany was difficult, and knowing that some of them are having a hard time as well makes it a bit harder. So this is a love letter to you, my friends, and to my family, to let you know that I love you. I miss you. And I truly look forward to the future and the path it takes me on, no matter how hard. I know you are there, all I have to do is reach out and ask for an email, or a phone call, or a visit- and there you are.

You can expect the same of me, any time, anywhere. I am here for you. I believe that, once the road smoothes, we will find our selves stronger, closer, and in better places than before.

xo, Kari

~~~~~~

There is a bit of a new look to the blog. There will be more changes slowly as I undertake a new endeavor with Katie, who is now only a day's drive away!

new surroundings

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:57:00 +0000

Oooh, I'm so behind!

I have Sooooooo much to say (okay, not really, just that: I flew to Arizona, I miss my family, Johnny keeps asking to go 'home', Tucson is hot but today it rained, I'm happy to be unpacking, aaaaaaand I need to make friends).

Other than that, I am painting and unpacking and sorting and exploring.

Here's a peak into our new house:

That's all for now. There will be more :)

Red Hill and some more art stuff.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Sat, 29 Sep 2012 18:40:00 +0000

(View of Lake Winnipesaukee, from the top of Red Hill.)

When I was a kid, we hiked Red Hill every chance we got. I think I hiked it with my mom when I was about Johnny's age. It's a 2,000 'footer', so it's a short, fun hike. Thursday I took J, with some bagels and bunny crackers as incentive, all the way up and back. It was such a beautiful day, and he did so well! I think it must just be in his veins :)

I was taking photos for an art project I was working on and getting all emotional by the time we got back to the trailhead. I always imagined hiking this little mountain with my kids, and here we were, running and laughing and jumping in the fall breeze all the way down the trail. It was a moment like none I've had before: watching one of my dreams unfold right in front of me and feeling every second of it.

The project I was working on is taken from a book I'm immersed in, Inner Excavation. I found it through looking at the website of one of the lovely women/teachers I met at Squam, and I was delighted to see her involved with the book!

I was to take some photos throughout my day, write a poem (which I've never really done), and combine these as inspiration for a self portrait type mixed-media painting.

Here are my favorite photos:

And the poem, untitled as of yet:

I stand, waiting in anticipation for

things to come.

The beauty slowly unveiling

before my eyes.

Every second is

inspiration,

warmth,

love,

and desire.

I stand, wanting the world to

embrace me.

Nothing can deter me from becoming

a part of this moment.

From becoming

fascinated,

illuminated,

intoxicated,

and contagious.

And here is the painting to finish it all off:

I can't wait to delve into the book some more. And I can't believe I wrote a poem, haha..

crooked.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Wed, 26 Sep 2012 05:19:00 +0000

here's my second drawing for illustration friday. i'm sure i broke some rules by using an internet photo for inspiration, but it was a cool one... and really, i just wanted an excuse to draw freddie mercury!

i'm experimenting with scanning and/or taking photographs of artwork. this is a photo that i then altered in iphoto slightly (just the color a bit, it was very yellow in my dark bedroom. this pink is closer to the original purple and white.) go freddie!!

becoming...

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:51:00 +0000

(i had a pretty picture of a chrysalis to add to this, but i can't get it to load, boo!)

i'm in such a state of confusion. and clarity. everything all at once.

many years ago i made the choice to become a tattoo artist. i loved every second of it. i left behind painting, and sewing, the handwork that my grandmother had just taught me; forgot everything that wasn't geared towards sharp lines and bold colors, perfect points and plastic-covered equipment.

something lately has been creating a larger and larger space between me and my tattooing. i have left it before, not sure where it was taking me, trying out my other skills such as sewing and baby making :) i have always gone back, but never with the thought that i would do this forever. the more years that pass the more it becomes a 'just for now' job. i don't think that's a good attitude for a tattoo artist. many things are transitional but tattooing takes dedication. lots of it. enough that, the only way i can see it being worth it is if i do plan on making it a life-long endeavor. i don't think it should be picked up and dropped off like an unfinished quilt that has been in the closet too long, only brought out on cold winter evenings to be worked on by a fire.
i make too many excuses.
i waiver too much.
ultimately, i don't feel like this is my path.

on the other hand, i do want to experiment. i want to learn hand-poking tattoos and spend time exploring the designs and possibilities behind that. i have friends who have unfinished work and i won't let them down.

so i don't know. i wish it were easier. i do know that the most valuable thing i've learned in the past few weeks is that just because we are drawn to something doesn't mean it's best for us. so what's best?

these are the things i want to change:
i want to swap out little fluorescent-lit rooms for big, bright, open windows.
i want to take off the gloves and get as much color on me as possible.
i want freedom from others' expectations.
i want my canvas to be unlimited in size, and my materials unlimited in variation.
i want to work and rework; i want the process to show.
i want to color outside of the lines.
i want to be rid of competition and drama. i refuse to invite it in. i want to only work together with my contemporaries, not against.

and, just as a reminder to myself, these are the things i want in the future:
i want my own shop, one shared with friends- crafting and sewing and painting and doing whatever else we can think of.
i want time with my husband and boy, and with my future children. lots of time.
i want to learn and teach the arts of my family, the hand crafting that has been so important to them over the years.

tattooing was what i needed, most of all, at the time it found me. it taught me about people, it gave me opportunities i hadn't dreamt of, it gave me confidence as an artist, it gave me friends.

but i think it's time to say, finally, that i need something different. it's time i give myself permission to explore that wholeheartedly.

as my perception of myself has shifted the past two weeks, so have my goals. i am becoming who i always wished to be. i didn't realize that i have always been that person. now it's just a matter of becoming comfortable in that skin and moving forward with ideas that i didn't think were possible.

it's easy to be who you want to be. you just have to be. the person in my mind who spends lots of time with her family outdoors, spends days in a bright studio or shop with her children doing homework or projects on a table nearby, stops at the market to pick up veggies to make a good dinner and tucks her kids in at night- that person has to start somewhere. she is starting as me, right now, in this moment.

i refuse to delay any longer.

regenerate.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 01:02:00 +0000

At the Squam art workshops last week I was able to get into nature and do some art I've not been familiar with until now.

My second class was Earth Art with a sweet illustrator named Penny as our teacher. She had us meditate to come up with a word that means something to us and then we were to strike out to create a symbol of that word within the constraints of nature. Amazing. We all cried just a little by the time the class came to a close, our explanations reverberating through each classmate.

Mine was Regenerate. Strange word, I thought at first. I based my 'design' on the ripples of a water droplet that I had been so intent on during class the previous day.

Regeneration. The tiny drop creates change and life beyond it's scope, bringing life back to itself in turn. It's hard to explain in my own words what I was feeling or meaning. The art said it best, really.

Just now I was reading 'A field guide to NOW' by Christina Rosalie, and something she wrote encompassed exactly how I felt about my Earth art project:

"...There is something fragile and breathtaking in me, like a field of irises; something unstoppable like the innate instinct that sends salmon upstream through rapids and turbines, following the scent of sweet water. Something tremulous, like the song of the thrush, that tells me this life is meant to be lived ardently, not merely spent. Life is abundant and impermanent. It burst forth, ripens, and then becomes just as quickly another thing. Leaf to soil. Breath to song. Bone to spirit. Natures claims us, holds us, remakes us again and again."

Perfect.

How nice that she was at Squam as well (I think we were both meditating and relaxing in solitude at the lake for hours one afternoon, just a few rocks over from one another?). It's simply magical there.

turn the page.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 01:15:00 +0000

My first submission to Illustration Friday:

When it rains it pours.

noreply@blogger.com (Kari B.) — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 17:06:00 +0000

I have so many photos on my camera at the moment, but not really any way to upload them yet. I'd really like to share them, but soon!

We've been in temporary housing for about a week, two more days to go, and then we're on our way to Frankfurt...

The movers came two weeks ago to pack up our household and ship it to the US. While they were here I came down with food poisoning and Chris failed his PT test, resulting in loss of his line number for Tech Sergeant.
He then had a lot of difficulty trying to sell our truck due to the title being shipped with our household, but that didn't matter later because it died on the way to drop it off to the buyer. It's now in the scrap yard.
We then got news that it's unlikely that the house we've been trying to buy for the past two months will be sell-able to us any time soon, due to repairs that need to be made before we can acquire the loan. The house is bank-owned and being sold as-is, so repairs are not really in the deal.
We've had two rides to the airport cancel and have paid hundreds of dollars to ship packages to Arizona and New Hampshire, since our household was over the weight limit (usually the military will pay for some boxes to be mailed when moving, but not if you are overweight).

Chris had to pay divert our car mid-shipment to get it to L.A. instead of San Diego (even tho the latter is closer to Tucson, he has to fly into the same place the car is being shipped and they won't fly the him and the dogs together to San Diego, only to L.A... Yea, I don't know either. Sadly no one mentioned this to him to begin with, before he had to pay to change it.)
Hopefully, HOPEFULLY, we will get the dogs to the States successfully and without it costing us 1.000,00 euros. That all depends on the weather and the heat.

Also, I hope they don't change my and Johnny's flight information again, we already have connection tickets to western NY, but they keep screwing with our Frankfurt to JFK flights and I seriously hope there isn't an overlap!!

And hopefully Chris, Zak and Brenda can find a good place to live (quickly) in Tucson. Johnny and I will be out of their hair in New Hampshire for almost two months, so that may be helpful, although I'd love to be there to help with the dogs and the house hunting.

We are all so tired and worn out. I didn't even mention all that has gone wrong in the past two weeks, really just scratched the surface. It's so beyond time to get to Arizona and get settled.

Phew. Three more days.