2. Your family (you probably had enough of them over Christmas)

3. The January sales

So far this January I have successfully managed to avoid all three. I’ll be honest, the sales were pretty hard to resist. I’m normally a moth to the cut-price fashion flame, flocking to the big red sales signs like a zombie with blood-lust. Then I remembered that shopping in the January sales is actually a bit like being in a horror movie and I knew I couldn’t quite face the trauma.

 It’s true that, on many an occasion, I have complimented someone on their stylish new boots or funky tee only to hear those fatal jealousy-inducing words “Oh, I picked it up in the sales” or “I got it for 95% off” or ” It was reduced from £200 to 2p!” But why is is that whenever I venture into the high-street jungle, I end up scrapping with some woman over a distinctly average top only to discover the zip’s broken and it’s two sizes too big anyway? Or, even worse, I return from my perilous expedition laden down with five carrier bags crammed with tat I’ll never wear, consoling myself with the knowledge that I didn’t pay full price for it. Hurrah for me!

I can actually recall one fruitless, nightmarish shopping trip where I started hyperventilating in Topshop as I was buffeted about by a sea of  desperate teenagers drooling at the mouth and sharpening their manicured nails on the nearest clothes rack. Ok, so I’m exaggerating slightly but the point is if I wanted to be thrown about by a bunch of sweaty mentalists I would have stood in a mosh pit.

I’m willing to admit I may have missed out on a few choice bargains this month but at least I have kept hold of my sanity! 

Here are our top 5 most rubbish presents…

 1. Toiletries. Everyone’s favourite fail-safe gift, this is fine if it’s stuff you actually use. But who actually uses bath salts? And how many bottles of body lotion does one girl really need??

2. A Diary. Great idea if you don’t already have one. Absolutely useless if you already do. And it’s not even like you can put it in a drawer til next year. What a waste of money. Think how many selection boxes you could have had in stead…

3. A CD, DVD, book you’ve already bought. To be fair, at least they have good taste.

4. Clothes you wouldn’t be seen dead in. Ok, so you could maybe take them back to the shop if you’ve got the receipt but if this is a present from someone you see regularly, they may be suspicious as to why you’re never wearing those delightful bright yellow hotpants they bought you.

5. Anything bad for you when you’ve made a promise to yourself that you’ll  go on a diet in the new year. Oh, go on, who are you kidding? Just wolf it down and leave the guilt til next year…

Apparently these are the top ten most popular halloween fancy dress costumes so if you’re stuck for ideas look no further…

1. Angel

2. Ghost

3. Political figure (really?!?) 

4. Super hero

5. Nurse

6. Fairy

7. Cat

8. Vampire

9. Pirate

10. Witch

And they’re even yummier than Haley Randolph’s mum’s fruit bouquets in PURSES AND POISON!

(mind you, that’s not difficult. They were laced with poison after all) 

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmuffins