LA Moms Blog

Silicon Valley Moms Group Acquired By Technorati Media

2010-11-15T16:53:26-08:00

Reports of our demise, as the saying goes, were premature. The Silicon Valley Moms Group of sister sites is taking up residence in a new location. Look for that great timely, opinionated, poignant, and sometimes just plain funny parenting content you're used to seeing on this site over at The Women's Channel at Technorati. After 6 great years of blogging here, we've moved to a new home.

Fondly,

Jill Asher, Beth Blecherman & Tekla Nee

Co-Founders, Silicon Valley Moms Group

Closing a Chapter...and a Group Blog

2010-07-06T02:07:00-07:00

I discovered not long after I began blogging three years ago that even though I intended to blog primarily about books and reading, I fit into another niche as well: I was a Mom With a Blog. I didn't see myself as a "mom blogger," really - the "typical" mom blogger seemed to have younger children than mine, as well as more a more intimate style and approach to content and communication than I envisioned for myself. Still, I did want to share some of my personal life with my readers, and I've been a mom for my entire adult life, so I technically qualified.

Many of the other blogging moms I was drawn to weren't typical mom-bloggers either, as it happened...but I knew I wanted to connect with this community somehow. I also knew I was interested in making some off-line connections with the people I was getting to know online. When the Silicon Valley Moms Group prepared to expand its network of regional blogs into Southern California in mid-2008, I was quick to apply as a contributor, and excited to be among those selected to launch the Los Angeles Moms Blog.

I've gotten a lot out of my two years of association with SVMG and LA Moms, including those "real-life" connections I'd hoped for; I might not have summoned up the nerve to go to to BlogHer'09 if it weren't for knowing people in those groups. I've also had a place to write about things that didn't really fit in so well on my personal blog, and exposure to promotional opportunities I'm not sure I would have found otherwise. All the same, I've felt like a misfit among the mom bloggers for some time, and forging more ties in the book-blog community has only intensified those feelings, so I've been deliberating about my future with the LA Moms Blog for a few months now. But a couple of weeks ago, a decision was made for me.

On June 14, most of the 400-plus contributors to the 13 regional blogs in the SV Moms Group were stunned by an e-mail they received. The next day, an official press release confirmed the news:

Silicon Valley Moms Group, a leading independent blogging publisher for mothers, today announced that their 13-city mom blogging conglomerate plans to close its network at the end of July..."It is anticipated that it will take approximately three months to complete the process of closure," stated (co-founder Jill) Asher. Approximately 22,000 blog posts will remain public and available for the foreseeable future.
"We recognize these are very difficult decisions affecting our writers, their families and the blogging community as a whole," continued Ms. Asher. "We expect this elite community of bloggers to continue to thrive organically."

This is scheduled to be the final week of new posts on the blogs in the SVMG network, although many of its contributors are seeking new ways to continue collaborating, both nationally and in their local communities.

I'll miss being part of this group, and I'll continue to value the people I've come to know and the things I've learned as part of it - thanks for the memories, and the opportunities, SV Moms Group, and I hope this is not good-bye to my fellow LA Moms Bloggers!

Parts of this post were previously published on Florinda Pendley Vasquez's personal blog, The 3 R's: Reading, 'Riting, and Randomness.

Photo credit: PicApp Image Search

Change

2010-07-05T15:16:41-07:00

Change is coming in the form of no more LA Moms Blog. Today will be the last posting. It's sad to see it go, but I'm hopeful there will be something new and equally fun to takes it's place in my life. One of the things you learn, being a mother, is to accept change as gracefully as possible.

Pretty much from the moment you realize you're pregnant you have to accept that your body is changing, and for many of us will never be the same again. Droopy boobs and ponchy bellies are no ones idea of a good time but it's a trade we make for a family. It's a good trade.

Then your baby arrives and you have to introduce a third person to your marriage, and not in the good way like on late night HBO movies. This third wheel requires a lot of renegotiation of roles and priorities. Ultimately, changing your entire relationship, if you're vigilant, for the better.

Finally every time you think you've figured your kid and their schedule out they change it. My daughter is only six years old and I can tell you every six months or so she takes one aspect of her personality and rearranges it like a rubics cube. Sometimes it's food, or sleep patterns, or clothing preference, or she might just turn into a totally different person. Whatever it is, I'm back to square one.

I'm guessing once you get your footing the kid goes to college. What I'm trying to say is after six years, I think I'm completing my masters degree in change. So even though I will miss LA Moms Blog, I know it will lead to something new and hopefully better. Change, it's what moms do.

Original post to LA Moms Blog.

Elise Crane Derby writes about entertainment at Elise's Ramblings

Memo From A Mom Blogger To The FTC: WTF?

2010-06-29T17:50:39-07:00

I am a Mom Blogger, not a Journalist. Apparently, I need to disclose that right up front. Like you couldn’t tell. Like you thought I was suddenly the NYT. Which I’m not.

But the Federal Trade Commission thinks you can’t tell and that I’m trying to defraud you. The FTC thinks I want to sell you some magic acai berry beans made of broccoli powder that will cure your cancer and that unless I tell you upfront that the magic acai berry beans company paid for an ad on my site and are using me as a mouthpiece you wouldn’t be able to tell and would be defrauded when you buy these worthless beans and I get the cash.

But here’s the problem: I don’t sell cures for cancer, I do dvd and video game reviews. Not in the same league, if you ask me.

The FTC has required me to tell you that I was given a copy of the dvd to review. Um, that means I didn’t pay for it. Just making sure you got that point – very important that the FTC sees I’m telling you this Right In The Body Of My Post – so it sounds extra swell – so I am for sure going to tell you.

I got the dvd for free so I could review it – I even got it from the actual movie company, not a bootleg. The company wants me to review it, see? So they sent it to me.

Clear?

OK, now most people have stopped reading my blog ever again after that crap and who could blame them? It’s boring, obnoxious writing.

And here’s my real problem with it – it’s Not Fair. Let me understand this, FTC: I have to tell the world that I was given a dvd of a movie to review it, but Kenneth Turan, movie reviewer for the LA Times, doesn’t have to disclose anywhere that he was treated to a screening of the first-run films he reviews. Why is that?

Do you suppose that people who read the LA Times think that Kenneth Turan paid for a movie ticket and went to the Mall to see it before he reviews Iron Man 2? No, no one thinks that.

I think it’s pretty clear that the movie company set up a screening for all the press and didn’t charge any of them to see it.

You must think that readers get it – because you don’t require Kenneth Turan or the LA Times to disclose it in the body of his review. And I kind of checked around the whole movie section of the paper – no mention of it.

So I guess it’s not that important for him to do it. Why, then, is it so important for me to do it?

Do you really think if I got paid by a movie studio to promote The Tooth Fairy it would somehow alter the course of history? Come ON.

Or how about this: I attended a party thrown by a well-known video game production company who was showing off their new family-friendly video games. Mom bloggers and their kids were invited. It was loads of fun, our kids loved the games, and we were served food and given a copy of a game to take home. You probably know what I’m going to say, but for the sake of disclosure, here goes: I had to mention in my post about the event that the company had given us free games and a light snack.

But guess who else was there? A reporter for a local TV station – with his camera crew and his teen-age son. He ate the food, just like I did, and his son got to play the games, just like my sons did. And he even took home a goodie bag with the same free game in it my kids got.

But when I saw the story on the local news that night I saw no message disclosing that he had eaten free food on the game company’s dime, nor did he disclose that his son got a free video game to take home.

I watched the credits, in case they were going to stick in a blanket disclosure there, which the FTC frowns on in my case, but I’ve seen other bloggers do it – but there was nothing mentioned there, either.

So what gives, FTC? Why so Unfair to Mom Bloggers?

Turns out I’m not the only one having this sense of unfairness, although I’ve made it my own by feeling it’s all directed at Mom Bloggers. None other than the Harvard Law Review has decided that it’s unconstitutional (ooo, that’s a scary word, FTC) to require something different of me as a blogger than Kenneth Turan as a journalist. Now, I’m a Brown woman, myself, but I understand those Harvard folks really know their stuff. Some of them have gone on to big jobs after the Law Review. Just sayin'.

So watch out FTC. We Moms know a thing or two about fairness. We teach it to our kids every day. And we expect it from you, too.

This is an original post for The LA Moms Blog. When Sarah's not railing at a Federal agency, she blogs at MarVistaMom.com.

A Different Language of Love

2010-06-29T11:29:09-07:00

The words "I love you" was never said in my household growing up, not in English and not in Tagalog (the Filipino language). I don't know if it's a cultural thing but I've found that most Asian families don't express affection towards one another on a regular basis.

I remember going to an American friend's house in the seventh grade and seeing her hug and kiss her parents and sister then everyone said, "I love you" to each other before going to bed. This blew my mind. I stood there with my eyes wide open and a little confused by it all. Was this normal? Should I be telling my parents I love them? Being that we were immigrants were we exempt from this type of behavior? My questions were never answered because I couldn't bring myself to ask anyone in fear of embarrassment.

I still remember the first time I told my mom I loved her. It was right after I gave birth to my daughter (yes, this was very recent) and she had stayed to help me for three days after I came home from the hospital. She cooked, cleaned and took care of my baby as I tried to recover from my delivery. When it came time for my mom to leave I broke down at the door and couldn't stop crying. She asked me what was wrong and all I could say was, "Nothing. I just don't want you to leave because I love you." She immediately dropped her bags and said, "I'm staying." Maybe it's because I became a mother and I had a deeper understanding of the relationship between a mother and a daughter but at that moment I just wanted my mom to know that I loved and appreciated her.

The first time I told my dad I loved him did not go as well. It was back in 2000 when I traveled for work for the first time across the United States. I was doing a one-woman show at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Indiana and felt scared being by myself in an unfamiliar place. I couldn't sleep in my hotel room so I decided to call home. It was around 3 am at my parents' house and I just hoped and prayed that someone would pick up and luckily my dad did. I was so relieved to hear his voice on the other end and I'm sure he could tell I was scared. Here is how that conversation went:

Me: Hey Pa.

Dad: Wat's wrong?

Me: Nothing. I'm just scared and I wanna go home.

Dad: Yule be pine. Yule be home bepore yu know eet.

Me: I guess you're right. Okay. I'm gonna go now and try to get some sleep...(voice quivering)...I love you...

Dad:...Dun't dey hab caybol?! I bet dey hab Sho tyme! Dat should make yu peel betur.

Me: Yeah, you're right. Okay, thanks. G'night.

I guess I can't really blame my dad because that's how he was brought up so that's all he knows.

I tell my daughter I love her several times a day. I want to teach her that it's okay to express your emotions and it's good to tell people how you feel about them. I know my dad loves me even though he doesn't say it but my mom and I say it more often to one another. Sometimes when my dad calls he'll ask what I'm doing and I'll say, "Watching Showtime.", and deep down inside I think we both know what that means.

This is an original LAMomsblog post.

When Bernadette isn't watching Showtime she is an actor/stand-up comedian and you can check out her personal blog at bern-baby-bern and show listings at bernadettelive.com.

Can This Single Mom Ever Be Normal?

2010-06-29T05:00:00-07:00

My daughter started summer preschool this week! A huge milestone for her and me, as her mommy. I'm so proud of her for jumping into a new and exciting situation with 3 year old gusto! She did great and no, mommy didn't shed a tear. I've always enjoyed ushering her into each stage of independence throughout her little life and nine child-free hours for me each week ain't nothin' to cry about.

There were, I believe, 12 or 13 three year olds in her classroom on that first day and she was one of only three children who didn't burst into tears and freak out when it came time for the parents to leave. Once again, I was proud. But then something that I wasn't expecting happened...

The parents, all moms at that point (most of the dads skeedaddled off to work by then), started gathering, lingering and chatting in the parking lot. Some were giving encouraging words to a couple of the teary-eyed moms. Some of us discussed where the hell you find a lunch tote in the summer (almost nowhere to be found as most stores carry them only as seasonal, back-to-school items at the end of the summer). Some confessed to each other that their children weren't actually fully-potty trained and they hoped their kids would make it through the morning without an accident. And as these chitty chats went on, it became really clear to me that I was the ONLY single parent there. Granted not every mom from my daughter's classroom was present, but many were and some were from other classrooms too.

It was when one mother expressed her concern about being out of town on her son's next day and her husband would have to drop him off. She worried that he might not be sensitive enough to his fears and maybe she should just take him on her work trip with him that day rather than traumatize him. Every mom jumped in with some sort of story about THEIR husband - except me because I don't have one. As the conversation turned more and more about family dynamics and what everyone's husband's role was within their family units, I had nothing to contribute. Then, at one point I did say that I was a single-mom and the challenge for me was coordinating with my ex. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but I'm pretty sure I heard crickets.

Now, let's me make something clear right now. I don't feel like less of a parent or anything nutty like that, because I'm a single mom. But you might be surprised by how much of a turd other moms make you feel like when they find out you're not their kind. And I don't think it's because they are trying to be mean or alienating on purpose, it's more of a case where they feel awkward about MY situation and the fear of saying something that would be insensitive is worse for them than attempting to include me in their conversations. I get it. It still feels crappy though.

I've spent my whole life being the "other". I was adopted from Korea and raised in an all-white family in suburban Minnesota in the 70s-80s. Then when I moved to a more metropolitan area, I was that weird Asian who didn't have an Asian name or speak an Asian language. I also claim minority status as a female comedian and an Asian American comedian. I'm left handed for God's sake. I don't think I've ever been in the majority club. I'm used to being the weirdo who always has to explain herself. But this one is kind of new to me.

I have a nice sized group of wonderful mom friends. Some from Minnesota and some from here in Los Angeles. These are mostly women I was friends with before we had kids and some I've known since childhood. They are an amazing network of people who have been supportive and non-judgemental. But you know what? They are ALL married! And while I'll say, I think I'm actually happier than some of them, they still will never quite understand how lonely it is to do it by yourself.

On holidays when your choices are to maybe send your kid to the ex's and be completely alone or spend the day with a young child who doesn't know what a holiday is yet, so you're just doing another daily grind while all your friends are gathering with their families... both options = lonely. I don't have relatives nearby, so my friends are my extended family. Unfortunately, on the days you wish you had family the most, they are with their real families.

If you have single mom friends - if you want to be a really great friend - call them up on Mother's Day and make sure they're not feeling lonely. Invite them to your Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter or Hanukah or whatever get together. Introduce them to your nice hot guy friends and relatives. Help a fellow mom out! We are not aliens, but we often feel alienated. We have the greatest thing in the world in common so why not focus on that than worry about what makes us different? And remember, most of us were married once too, so we get what it's like to have a husband/partner.

I've been making an effort to reach out to more single moms and make friends with them. Maybe we can fill some of those lonely time gaps together. And I hope I haven't given the wrong impression. This post isn't about whining or feeling sorry for myself - it's about telling it like it is. All moms can be good at that.

Amy Anderson is a comedian/actress/writer/single mom based in Los Angeles. When she's sitting at home alone, she blogs at FunnyYellowMom and you can view her performance schedule at AmyAnderson.net. This is an original LAMomsBlog post.

The Importance of Wearing Sunscreen

2010-06-28T05:00:00-07:00

One of the strange things about living in Southern California is that sometimes you can't tell the Asians apart from the Latinos on quick glance, especially in the summer. The boys and I spend a good portion of the year being brown rather than yellow. It doesn't seem to matter how much sunblock I put on our bodies, we just can't avoid getting tan. My mother-in-law wears a burka type get up on her face, gloves and a light long sleeve shirt with the collar up whenever she drives--the only part of her body that the sun could possibly hit are her eyes, but then those are covered up with sunglasses. Recently I gave in and bought driving gloves for myself. Not really to keep from getting tan, but because the sun was starting to hurt my arms every time I drove long distances (like driving to Legoland twice in eight days).

But all this got me thinking--what is the point of sunscreen? Maybe it's because I grew up in Chicago, ranked 25th out of 26 cities surveyed for the American Academy of Dermatology's “Suntelligence: How Sun Smart is Your City?” online survey. (The Academy's website has good tips on sun protection for kids.) I just don't think sunscreen works all that well. If you think about it, since the beginning of the human race people have been working outside, whether as hunters or gatherers. Most of the world still uses farming techniques which require workers to be outdoors for most of the day. I highly doubt that farmers and other outdoor workers in Asia or Africa are lathering on the sunscreen. So if people haven't been dropping like flies from skin cancer without it do I really need sunscreen? More importantly, do I really need to be attacking my kids with sunblock sprays and lotions before sun exposure?

According to AOL News, "Almost half of the 500 most popular sunscreen products may actually increase the speed at which malignant cells develop and spread skin cancer because they contain vitamin A or its derivatives, according to an evaluation of those products released" by the Environmental Working Group. If you look under "Skin Cancer" in Wikipedia, sun exposure is only 1 out of 7 potential causes of the disease. The site echoes the AOL News article in suggesting that when sunscreen penetrates into the skin it generates reactive chemicals and is correlated with cancerous tumors. Both sources suggest that hats, clothing and shade are the most reliable sun protection available. Recently Senator Charles Schumer told the Food and Drug Administration to speed up the studies to determine whether many sunscreens increase rather than prevent skin cancer.

So what is a mom to do--especially in Southern California, where the relentless sun can make you yearn for a good thunderstorm and downpour? Recently I tried the no sunscreen experiment on myself and learned that sunscreen does work to prevent burns. The pain on the back of my neck after a day of swimming will attest to that fact. So I continue to spray and apply lotion on myself and the kids. But as for applying a thick layer 30 minutes before sun exposure and reapplying every two hours, I admit that the craziness that goes on around here prevents me from doing that most days. Throughout these summer days, I will wear my driving gloves and attempt to put hats on the boys, but until the evidence is conclusive that sunscreen doesn't cause cancer, I will not put my faith in that camp.

This is an original post for the LA Moms Blog. Eunice will miss this community more than words can say. She gives thanks to those who helped her develop as a blogger and for the opportunity to connect with awesome moms locally and beyond! Eunice will continue to chronicle the mayhem and mischief around her on her personal blog, Random Walk Down Mommy Street and on Twitter as @unellie.

Girl in Translation by Jean Kwok: A SV Moms Group Book Club

2010-06-23T01:00:00-07:00

Transplanted from Hong Kong to New York City as a (very poor) young girl with her mother, Ah-Kim or Kimberley, struggled to make things better for her family, to learn English, to walk the line between traditional Chinese duties and the Americanized teenager she grew into. Join us today as we discuss the book Girl in Translation by Jean Kwok.

Here are what the SV Moms Group contributors ave to say today, all inspired by the book Girl in Translation:

Marinka from Motherhood in NYC tells her immigration story in America, Baby
Pamela from 2 Much Testosterone felt empowered
Emily from Mama Sick has hope for her son
Sharon from Channeling Ricky recognizes her own childhood embarrassment
Vanessa from Chefdruck Musings goes for a taste of America
April from It's All About Balance is a girl in gratitude
Emily Paster from West of the Loop examines secrets below the surface
Melanie from tales from the crib just wanted to fit in
Elena from Cara Mamma reflects on dreaming big
Lisa H. from Hannemaniacs has aunts just like Aunt Paula
Alma from Marketing Mommy had culture shock
Kristine from Mommy Needs Therapy or a Bottle of Wine was moved by the reality of immigrants who come to the U.S. for a "better" life
Rox from Rox and Roll has thoughts about honor
Julie from Just Precious opens her eyes in her own neighborhood
Jen B from Anybody Want A Peanut? tries to translate autism

Silicon Valley Moms Blog is hosting the book club discussion this month. Please leave a comment here to join in the discussion.

Past SV Moms Group Book Clubs have included:

I am Nujood, Aged 10 and Divorced by Nujood Ali
The Body Scoop for Girls by Dr. Jennifer Ashton
Just Let Me Lie Down by Kristin van Ogtrop, Editor of REAL SIMPLE magazine
National Geographic's Green Guide Families by Catherine Zandonella
Top 100 Finger Foods and Top 100 Baby Purees by Annabel Karmel
The Possibility of Everything by Hope Edelman
The Mominatrix's Guide to Sex by Kristen Chase
Coco Chanel & Igr Stravinsky by Chris Greenhalgh
See Mom Run by Beth Feldman
Close Encounters of the Third-Grade Kind by Phillip Done
This is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Topper
Do One Nice Thing by Debbie Tenzer
Birth Day by Mark Sloan, M.D.
What Happened to the Girl I Married? by Michael Miller
Testimony by Anita Shreve
Comfort Food by Kate Jacobs
Much to Your Chagrin by Suzanne Guilette
It Started with Pop-Tarts by Lori Hanson
Who By Fire by Diana Spechler
The White Trash Moms Handbook by Michelle Lamar
Writing Motherhood by Lisa Garrigues
The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert W. Sears
The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross

Click here to read all about the SV Moms Group Book Club.

When The School Bully Is A Teacher

2010-06-21T05:00:00-07:00

My son’s school has so much going for it – a great Dual Language Spanish Immersion Program, it’s a 2 block walk from my house, and did I mention it’s free? There’s only one problem: one of the teachers is a bully.

(Well, there are maybe a few more problems than that, it is LAUSD, after all, but for now I’m focusing on the bully.)

He could be my son’s teacher one of these years – it’s all such a random lottery, it seems -- but I can’t let that happen. So I’m doing all I can to make sure it doesn’t.

He yells at the kids in his class, actually screams. And he says the most horrible, humiliating things to them. I've seen him snap his fingers and call kids over to him the way you might treat a dog. If you were mad at the dog and didn't like it very much.

Over the years, parents have apparently complained about him, but apparently to no avail. He “allegedly” bragged to other teachers that even though parents have complained about him for years, he was still there teaching.

Even if the bragging is not true, how is it possible he’s still teaching with that kind of behavior? And with complaints on file? How did the teachers’ union get to the place where it would protect a teacher who treats kids this way?

Where in the rule books does it say screaming is OK? I'd love to hear someone defend it. Defend screaming at a 7-year-old like he were a dog.

If a student treated other students that way, no one would tolerate it. There are anti-bullying policies in place. Our Parent Center runs workshops on how to deal with bullies at school – kid bullies, that is. How come no one can stop the teacher bully?

I think it’s because he scares the crap out of parents and administrators, too. He once yelled at me at the top of his lungs – in front of 25 people, the Principal included – in the middle of the school yard in broad daylight -- over something he thought I’d said about him. (I did not say what he accused me of saying, just for the record.) And nothing ever happened to him. He was not disciplined, nor did he apologize.

Of course I wrote him up and sent it to all the proper people who should know about it. But he’s still teaching.

He just won’t be teaching my kid.

This is an original post for the LA Moms Blog. Sarah Auerswald also blogs about her neighborhood at MarVistaMom.com.

Red Hot and Toxic

2010-06-15T02:00:00-07:00

The newspaper sitting folded on my desk has been there since Thursday, June the 3rd. I read the front-page article, folded the paper carefully up and placed it on my desk with the intent to write about it. Perfect for LA Moms Blog, is what I thought. But I'll face it later.

It's been sitting on my desk for almost two weeks, glowing red hot and toxic. The article is titled Disabled students losing 200 classes and reports on the budget crisis reaching The Los Angeles Unified School District's most vulnerable students. We all see these articles daily, and those of us in the school system skim them and sigh. If we've got any energy left, we work to raise money at our schools so that our children's class sizes remain smaller or perhaps so that aides won't be let go, to maintain what little art and music and physical education programs there are stay that way. And the deluge of bad news keeps coming. I have two boys who attend a neighborhood charter school with remarkable parent-driven support. I also have a fifteen year old with severe disabilities who attends one of the city's lowest performing schools, where she is in a class for moderately disabled students and receives minimal services. The vast majority of the students there are disadvantaged and I have seen, first-hand, that they are getting screwed by the LAUSD. But this blog post is not about them.

The sole reason why this article sat folded on my desk, glowing red and toxic, my eyes averted in avoidance was because of one sentence, uttered by the district's superintendent, Mr. Ramon Cortines. The article described a public school for blind students that is going to be subject to some pretty drastic cuts to its program in the coming year. Many of the students there have multiple and severe disabilities and others will graduate and go to a general education site. Mr. Cortines states

Some of those are very, very severe cases, but you have to look at it in perspective. When you fund some of the special ed things, you're taking from regular kids.

Really, Mr. Cortines? Really? I read this statement and felt sick to my stomach. It seems that even our school district superintendent is of the mindset that these children, children like my own daughter are somehow, by the nature of their disability, less than, other than, different than, not as worthy as -- who? Regular children? Normal children? Other children?

I'd like to give the man the benefit of the doubt, but I think his statement is probably an honest feeling, mistakenly expressed. The fact is that I know a lot of people secretly feel this way but are too timid, too cowed by political correctness, to actually say these words, to voice their thoughts. I have a feeling that many people I know, perhaps even some friends and some family think in this way. They do not say it, but they think it. What's the point of giving services to a child who might only learn to feed herself by the end of high school? What's the point of giving services to a child who can only blink yes and no? What's the point of giving services, of educating a child who will never learn to read or write?

That the Superintendent of our own enormous, beleaguered school district can say this and literally question the integrity of 82,000 students with recognized disabilities in the school system with a single, careless remark that underlies a far deeper prejudice, makes me feel exhausted.

We still have so much work to do.

This is an original LA Moms Blog post. Elizabeth Aquino blogs regularly at a moon, worn as if it had been a shell. She is also a tired advocate for children with disabilities, trying to educate people that all children, all people have integrity, so matter the level of their cognitive or physical functioning.