Labours Of Hercules!

Indian Traffic Rules

2012-03-13T22:02:00.002+05:30

Having driven for the last eight years and in excess of 75,000 km in various parts of the country, I have learnt a few rules of Indian roads. These rules cannot be found in any book, they are not taught at any driving school. The only way you would know these rules is if you walk backwards for six days followed by a fruit only diet for two weeks culminating in meditation for 1 week under a banyan tree. Alternatively, you can use this post as a short cut to enlightenment.

This is by no means the sum total of all my learnings over the past eight years but they sure are some of the most important ones. So learners, people new to this country and people who know nothing about Indian traffic, read on!

The traffic rules are meant to be enforced not followed. They are there only for the sake of keeping the traffic police in their jobs.
In an accident, if you are younger, you are at fault.
If your are faster, you are at fault.
If you have a smaller vehicle, you are at fault.
If you are not somebody or anybody who knows somebody or anybody whose second uncle's third cousin's father in law is somebody, you are at fault.
If you are a female, you don't know how to drive. I don't care if you participated in Raid de Himalayas followed by the APRC, you still don't know how to drive since you are a female.
If you are a bus or a truck, you are visible to everyone.
If you are an SUV, you are invisible to the truck and the bus.
If you are a car, you are invisible to the truck, the bus and the SUV.
If you are a rickshaw, you are invisible to the truck, the bus, the SUV and the car.
If you are a motorcycle, you are invisible to the truck, the bus, the SUV, the car and the rickshaw
If you are a moped, you are invisible to the truck, the bus, the SUV, the car, the rickshaw and the motorcycle.
If you are a cycle, you are invisible to the truck, the bus, the SUV, the car, the rickshaw, the motorcycle and the moped.
If you are a pedestrian..... well then you are invisible.
If you are a pedestrian, you should run across the road. Don't rely on the fact that anyone will wait for you, it can get you killed.
If you are ever in an accident, for the cause refer to points 8 through 14, for the effect refer to points 2 through 5
If you are a young chap on a motorbike and get involved in an accident, see point 2.
If it has a light on top, get out of the way.
If it has a red light, get out of the way faster!
Ambulances are your ticket out of a traffic jam. Just make sure you stick to its ass.
Footpaths are made for motorcycles to make a quick getaway.
If you are like sticking to footpaths while walking on the road, it's about time you kicked the habit.
If it is standing at the side of the road, it WILL run across the road but only after it waits till the very last moment so you have at least some excitement in your otherwise dreary life on the road.
If it has four legs and gives milk, you have to wait till it makes up its mind to cross the road.
If it has four legs and barks, aim for it!
If it has two legs and talks, honk and watch it run!
If you follow the rules, you will reach last.
If you stick to your lanes, you will reach last.
If you are not brave, you will reach last.
If it is white, with a yellow number plate and used to get employees to work and back home, it shall be driven as if there is no tomorrow.
Safe distances are for wussies. Anything more than 2 feet is just wasteful indulgence.
Driving licenses are not a necessity.
Knowing to drive is not a necessity.
Knowing the rules or worse, following them, is not a necessity.
If you honk continuously and race your engine, you will feel you are faster when actually you are no faster than that pensioner who never goes above 40 kmph.
Airbags are a luxury.
ABS is a luxury.
Seat belts for rear seat passengers was, till recently, a luxury.
The government will subsidise your diesel for driving that 50 lac Jaguar XF, because you need it.
No you can't have better roads or bus stops or buses because all the government money got over subsidising the diesel for that Jaguar XF.

There you have it. 40 golden rules crucial to your survival (and survival is not a hyperbole) on Indian roads.

Massage.....anyone?

2011-12-28T18:46:00.002+05:30

"Sir do you want massage?". These are the exact same words that are said to me every time I get into a cab at night in a South East Asian country. Now, I can't take names but this particular country is especially famous for the fruit Durian. I don't know why these five words are uttered to me every time I board a cab.

The conversation usually goes like this:
Cabbie: Sir, you want massage?
Me: (politely) No thanks.
Cabbie: Sir, massage and nice time.
Me: (smile disdainfully) No lah!
Cabbie: (mildly surprised) Sir you don't want massage? Actors, Sir bollywood actors (actually meaning actresses).
Me: (laugh, again... disdainfully) No don't want.
Cabbie: Sir good rate. Guarantee.
Me: (strictly) No, I don't want any dodgy massage and nor am I looking for Indian actresses. I am here for work.
Cabbie: (on the backfoot) Ok Sir. Everyone likes, so asked.
Me: No I don't like such things.
Cabbie: (trying out small talk) Which company?
Me: (One worded reply) 'Company'

Thereafter the conversation goes silent. Me shifting uncomfortably in my seat intently observing the route being taken. Driver observing me through the rear view mirror. I whip out my mobile and make a call. I try not to imagine arriving at a dingy place full of 'bollywood actresses'.

I reach my destination (my hotel), I pay, get down and start walking quickly to my room, not once looking back. The thoughts make me sick, make me question myself. 'Is it my face that makes these chaps feel I am looking for some action? Or is the fact that many of my fellow countrymen indulge in such nefarious activities? Or is it simply the fact the a majority of tourists (regardless of origin) are interested in a massage of the different kind?' I was quite disturbed when I encountered this question for the first time. Lately, I have come to accept the fact that I will invariably be asked the same question. Only this time I have the answer ready and I won't feel uncomfortable.

I wonder if others go through the same. I haven't yet asked anyone nor has anyone specifically mentioned it. I guess, people are too scared to bring up the topic and have people wonder whether they accepted the offer.

As for me, I now simply answer in the negative and continue my journey. No Sir, I am not looking for any massage. I am just looking forward to sleeping in my hotel bed.... Alone.

The roads are filled with Idiots!

2011-12-21T00:11:00.001+05:30

As a new advertisement rightly says, 'The roads are filled with Idiots'. I have had a generous share of them, more so in recent times. I have no idea as to why this species of simpletons cross my path time and again.

A few weeks back I was doing my annual Bangalore-Pune-Bangalore run. Well not the two legged type. This was in my car. As usual, I started early in the morning on my return journey hoping to reach the outskirts of Bangalore by dusk. I was making good progress.

As soon as you cross the Maharashtra border the road becomes suddenly empty and you can pace yourself at your own terms. Enough of the journey log and fast forward to the idiot. In the middle of nowhere this old guy was standing at the side of the road. My driver was at the wheel and seemed to have noticed the chap. However, I still warned him to slow down. The idiot was looking down engrossed in something. He simply started walking continuing to look downwards. There was a bike in the first lane and it narrowly missed him. Instead of at least looking before proceeding further, he simply proceeded further. At the very last moment did the ass look at my car. Right at that spilt second he took one step back, we swerved that little bit to the right and managed to miss him by the skin of the teeth. Had we not been lucky, we would have been in a soup for absolutely no fault of our own.

Moving ahead to yesterday. I was on my way back home and was in the front row at a traffic signal. Just as the signal was to turn green, a guy on a bicycle started crossing the road. The lights turned green and vehicles started moving towards him. By then he had crossed almost 70% of the road. Instead of rushing on, he decided to pick up his bike and start running backwards narrowly missing a motorcycle in the process.

These two recent events reminded me just how many idiots travel our roads. I also remembered that every crash that I have ever had has been due to such idiots. Idiots on the wrong side of the road, idiots crossing the road without looking, idiots riding bikes without looking, idiots going too fast on a wet road. Thats what makes roads here so dangerous. People simply take too many risks to get to their destinations that 1 minute early. What would you rather have? Reaching one minute early but dead or arriving 1 minute late but alive? The choice is very simple. But it seems it is not. People will 'save' 600 rupees and risk becoming a vegetable than wear a helmet. People will risk being smashed to pieces than drive on the right side at take a 5 minute U-turn.

Why you may ask? Its because safety is costly and without any demonstrable benefit. How do you know about the accident that never happened? And more so, how do you convince others? How do you make others believe you when you have nothing to show? I am certainly not going to use an accident as an example to prove the importance of safety to the one who got maimed. Reminds me of the infamous black swan. What I can do is try to coax my friends and loved ones to comply. Thats it. You can try to force it. But we know how forcing goes. It almost always ends in a rebellion or a rebuke depending on the person's age relative to yours.

So dear friends, please be safe for your own sake and not for my happiness. And try not to be an idiot on road.

My Encounters with God

2011-12-05T22:42:00.001+05:30

I have always been particularly amused of my various encounters with the divine. No I am not talking about enlightenment nor am I talking about some form of meditation that brings me closer to eternal salvation although a good friend of mine can 'enlighten' you on that subject. Unfortunately I am incapable of such things. The last I tried something like meditation was during Biology class in school. I am simply talking about my various encounters with the different forms of God here on Earth.

Here in our country you bump into Him just about on every second step. From dashboards to cash registers, from drawing rooms to factories, from hilltops to caves. You can never be too far away from Him. You can be close to Him whenever you want to or don't wan't to. Whoever said religion is a personal thing, obviously had never been to India. Here it is anything but personal. It's a culture, it's a way of life, it's the single strongest governing fabric of society. It is also, if I dare say, the single most important cause of a lot of pain.

When something stops being personal and starts being your identity, it starts controlling your life. Its starts governing the way you are perceived. You start being put in boxes, you are expected to follow some rules, whichever that may be applicable to you. You are made to meet God in the way you are 'supposed' to. Not the way you want to. And God forbid (oh my God!) if your way is something which is not supposed to be done, then you have turned, to the dark side.

And who tells you what you 'should' be doing? The almighty priests. They have the divine right to tell you where you are wrong, where you should be thankful and where not. How you should stand in front of Him. How you should kneel. How should remember Him and how you should call Him out. They are the ones who even decide whether you should call Him or Her. Why? Because we let them. Because we have always let them. Because we never had our own thoughts about God, because we are too scared to make contact ourselves. Thats why we turn to these Godmen. We prefer to be led than lead. We prefer to be directed than find our own way. We prefer to be lied to than find truth ourselves.

Why do I have to remember God only in a certain way? Why am I made to believe that He will be happy only if I call him out on a certain day. Why am I forced to pay many thousand bucks to get some Godmen to pray to Him so He showers His blessings on my new home? Why can't I just remember Him myself and ask for his permission to start living? Well it's just because thats just not how it 'should' be done. Who tells us that? The same Godmen who stand to benefit from all such brouhaha. Even by writing all my thoughts down, I am making a mistake. I am 'wrong'. There can always be a logical reason to pray to God only after you have had bath and before you have your breakfast. But why can I not remember Him before my bath or thank Him for my breakfast after I have had it? Maybe that will just show how selfish I am. Who says we are not? And how can God be Himself if he gets annoyed with small petty things like uncovered heads and inauspicious days?

My teenage years were spent in me believing that I was an atheist. Just because I could never get myself to follow the rituals, I thought I don't believe. I was led to believe that either you follow rituals or you are an atheist. Nobody in particular told me this, it's just the way the social fabric is woven around you that you start believing in such misconceptions. If anyone asked ever me whether I did this or that and I answered in the negative, the logical next step was to believe that I was a non-believer. Unfortunately I was never able to explain my way of thinking about the divine. I could not explain why I did not like visiting the temples or kneeling in front of the idols. Now I can, now I know I am not an atheist. I am just a rebel, a non-conformist, an individual. I have even grown to understand the different disciplines of meeting Him. Religion is just a structured way of meeting Him. It tries to explain in simple words to simple people, what one should focus on. Unfortunately, all this just seems to be lost in translation.

Just the way there cannot be just one way to success, there cannot be just one way to understand Him. None of the ways are any better or worse than other. Just like succeeding as a sportsman is no better than succeeding as a businessman. But everyone seems to forget that. How would you like it if all that the world consisted of was sportsmen? Why have a different attitude towards religion? Why believe one is better than other. Or like in the unfortunate recent times, worse than the other? Nor is a person better or worse just because he or she comes from a particular religion. It seems to be a very easy way to shift the blame from an individual for what he is to the institution that he is a part of. A person is better or worse from his own deeds and thoughts why drag poor God into the picture?

Many around me have very strong 'beliefs' and I am perfectly comfortable with that as long as they keep it to themselves. The moment someone starts forcing me to follow their path, they start pushing me away from them. With each coercive statement, they nudge me a little bit further until I come to a point that I simply start avoiding the person. Would you like it if somebody tried to tell you what haircut you should get, what food you should eat or going even a bit personal, what colour underwear you should wear? Then how can telling what one should believe or 'not' believe count as acceptable?

There are many times when on my way to a place I feel like talking to Him. Feel like sharing my thoughts with Him. Then why is it wrong to talk to Him while driving? I am not trying to insult Him, I am just sharing my thoughts. And as luck would have it, only during driving or riding a bike am I able to have such clear thoughts. There you have it, thats my meditation. Many would think of this as laughable or even insulting. I intend it to be neither. Nor am I trying to promote it as a new method of eternal salvation. It is just my way and I would like it to remain that way.

Now don't give it a name please.....

Time to celebrate

2011-10-28T20:05:00.000+05:30

I just realized that this blog of mine has been around for more than five years! That's a pretty long time given the fact that every other hobby of mine does not survive more than a year. I guess this ones a keeper. Anyways, I am simply ecstatic to know that it has now been close to six years that I have been writing here. Of course the number of posts are nothing to brag about, but there has not been a single year when I have not written something here.

I would call that a pretty good track record. I can also flip through my years as I flip through the pages of this blog. It is nothing exceptional but certainly interesting to remember the thoughts that led me to write each and every post. Some of my friends started blogging with me but were left behind a long time ago. Some started recently and are still going strong. Some blog far and few in between, while some blog almost daily. If I am to compare myself to any of them, I would fit in with none. Yes, I have not written too many nor too few, I have certainly kept this page alive and no I did not start this after the media made it sexy. I started when blogging had just found it's feet. That was the year 2006.

So readers, your truly here has no intentions of closing shop, although he does want to increase the frequency of ramblings. Something that I have struggled to do.... yet.

Men Worked!

2011-10-28T19:46:00.000+05:30

Obscenely late and unacceptably lame. This sums up my latest blog revamp exercise. However, I have decided to stick with this clean look. Seems to work better than the in your face background image filled mutant I had put up for a short-ish while.

So anyways, blogs away! I shall 'again' try to be a bit more regular in my posting. If you go through the history of this thing, you will surely notice I am very weak on this front.

Men at Work..

2011-06-07T13:57:00.000+05:30

You must have noticed a change in the design of the blog. Even if u did not, by now you should have realised it. I am trying to give a fresh new look and the current design is very much in beta stage.

The end product is expected by the month-end. Your comments on what is better and what worse will be helpful. With the new look I have also resolved to make more frequent posts making it more lively and hopefully a little more popular.

And yes click on some ads. It will provide me with the cash to promote my blog beyond the current 6 people.....

A hobby of hobbies

2011-04-28T23:17:00.000+05:30

I recently realised(a little too late) that I have too many hobbies. I don't say that in a proud sort of a way but more out of exasperation. I seem to be a serial hobbyist who seems to find a new hobby faster than doing any one twice. Well not exactly, but I do seem to have an Attention Deficit Disorder when it comes to hobbies.

And no it is not that I try out something and move on to the next one. I commit fully i.e. spend substantial time (and money) on the hobby, grow it and then ignore it. Having realised this, I tried to find at least one hobby which I had not forgotten, which I actually did some justice. None came to mind.

Finally after going through the five stages I went ahead and tried to at least select one or two hobbies which now will be my favourites and to whom I will dedicate my time. Again none came to mind. Actually too many came to mind. And then I started applying too complex a selection process that effectively stacked each hobby on a horizontal line. It was not so much choosing the ones I like, but killing the bottom feeders that pinched. I did not want to give up on a hobby even though it is clear I cannot give time to each. Shit! this is a nested Kubler-Ross model (A five stages of loss within another five stages of loss). I am prety sure it is going to take me a very long time to accept this one. Almost like inception. Can you make the connection?

I suddenly made a connection with our so called principles of life (I like to call them demands). We are well aware that not all of them will be fulfilled yet we insist on the otherwise. We waste our precious time in argument, coaxing, anger and sadness just because we want it all. And for every demand (so called principle) that we have to give up, we need to go through the same five stages. And then again there is the over-arching fact that not all demands will be fulfilled that needs a much slower 5 stage process of its own. See? Just like Inception! Got the connection yet?

I wonder how long does this take? A lifetime? If that is the case, I surely do not want another over-arching 5 stage to keep my company in the afterlife (if there is one).

Till then... I continue to be in denial of the fact that I cannot do justice to all my hobbies.

Don't expect me to tell how many and which...

Twitter.... Please go find a worm.

2011-04-04T23:06:00.000+05:30

I am waiting for my flight to depart and thought this would be the perfect time to update my dormant blog. While I do have a number of topics that I have been craving to write, I thought that this one would 'jive' very well with my last post.

With that last sentence I just made a reference to my next blog (probably)! Well back to twitter, unless you did not notice, this is the topic I am going to write about today. So what is twitter? It is nothing but the same thing you used to do back in the days with your mobile when it allowed for only 160 characters albeit with one small difference. While you earlier spammed only your friends (or people who you thought were your friends), now you spam the universe! Talk about exponential growth! I really don't understand what can be fully expressed in 160 characters. Maybe thats the whole point, make a statement so vague and short that it can be interpreted in any way the reader and lead to the Minister of State losing his job.

Then there is the all kinds of rubbish connections with all kinds of other rubbish like the topic of my last blog. Now you can tweet to those who don't even follow because on Facebook nobody is spared from your 'updates'.

I am still wondering, what can really be expressed fully in 160 characters. A few come to mind, ' I am hungry and am going to get a pizza'; 'I had a lot of beer and need to pee very badly' ; 'Just got back from wherever, it was a lot of fun!' so on and so forth.

But when it comes to expressing meanigful thoughts or the next great idea, 160 characters is just not sufficient. You need more, a lot more. But then, who cares? There are millions who follow their idols waiting to get a snippet of wisdom (more often madness). And thats the only purpose of twitter. I wonder why people even bother to have a twitter account lest even tweet. And why on earth do you want to integrate it with all your oher social networks? As if your friends (or people who you think are your friends) really care about whether you are hungry or just farted.

Anyways, I have to go. Need to tweet something.. Read it @vishdes.....

Facebook....Lifebook

2010-10-21T22:30:00.000+05:30

It's funny how Facebook has become an inherent part of many people's lives. It's almost a second life for many. Something that Second Life could never really do (if you know what I mean). It's become a diary for many. An open diary, where you share your thoughts with people whom you want to and people whom you don't want to. And the funny thing is, you can't do anything about it.

Facebook now has the access to your most intimate details and you can't do anything about it either. All you can do is play along. In whatever way you want. There are many who hate this aspect of Facebook but there are even more who love it. They now feel connected to the most far away friends. Friends who they never even thought of unti Facebook prompted their names as 'People you may Know!'. And there you have it, with just the click of a button you are instantly connected to people who you only remember and might never talk with again. But who cares? I just need to have 7,250 friends so people think I am really popular.

Then there are people who need to share each and every moment of their lives, each and every thought in their heads and each and every funny video they come across. And then reply to the 600 comments and 'I like this' posts. I wonder who has all this time to surf the internet, find good videos, share it on Facebook and then have the patience to reply to all the comments. Well I guess they have nothing else to do in life. I agree it is a discrete yet prominent way of bragging to the world what you are doing or have achieved or are planning to do or never did something.

It is a way to tell everyone that knows you and everyone who knows someone who knows you that you have just bought a Harley Davidson or you just got into a Fortune 500 company or post pictures of far away places just to prove to the world that you have been there. Then there are some people who go a step further and comment on other's posts and photos to say 'Dude I have been there and done that. Long before you were even born. And actually I have already done it twice before you even thought about it (that makes me way more awesome)' Of course, the brackets are what he/she actually wants to say.

And then there are some who make cryptic posts on their profiles that get people curious and make them ask questions. Well thats just a polite way to brag. 'I never announced it myself, you asked me!'

The really 'in' thing these days is to post from the Iphones and Androids out there just to let people know you have them. Or even 'Mobile Web' would do. Then at least people know you have GPRS and are soon going to advance to 3G.

Ever wonder how much data Facebook has access to? But then, who cares? Identity thefts are just a hoax!

I just sneezed! I need to let the world know.....

Learning Unlearning...

2010-10-07T23:16:00.001+05:30

The trouble of joining a multinational company is that you need to learn a lot of things. First of all,you need to learn english. By english, I mean the english of all things. And all very queenly too. Thats a big departure from the Indian english or Hinglish I must say. So suddenly you need to learn to say chips! Even the ones that come in transparent plastic bags and made out of potato, banana et al. And no, you can't call them wafers. Coz wafers are something else. Oh yeah? Go and read what is written on the label of these cheap substitues to Frito Lay.

On similar lines 'Elaichi' has to be called car.. car...cardamom. Yes, thats what it is called in english. Now tell me what do you call saunf (or budi-soap / budi-shape in my mother tongue) in english? Even chai is tea and elaichi waali chai is tea spiced with cardamom. I don't feel like having it any more.

Then comes food. No every India is not vegetarian and yes we call eating meat as eating non-veg. It might not make sense to you but it does to us. I can't say I eat meat! Sounds to primitive to me. Then theres Slumdog Millionaire. Everyone whos is not an Indian has to see it and have his/her expert opinion on India. No, common India is not only about gouging out eyes, living on waste duamps and dancing on railway platforms. Thankfully it is a little bit more than that.

Suddenly eating with hands is so downmarket. I will not roll the roti and eat it like a roll and use a spoon for the 'subji'. This reminds me of one thing, for us subji and curry(again rassa in my mother tongue) is different so is dal. Don't just mix everything into one ubiquitous word - curry. Getting back to eating, no I cannot do the above. If it is any consolation, I can eat my rice with a spoon but not on the back of a fork. It is so less!

Then comes wine. For most of us, its either white or red. No I don't know which meat goes with which wine, what is supposed to be consumed on an empty stomach and what should not be. I know only one sparkling wine - champagne and no I don't want to know the history behind it. Nor do I want to know what makes a great wine. You go ahead and make it an entire lunch / dinner / day conversation. For me it is still red or white. Period.

Of Plastic Covers & Bubble Wrap...

2010-10-04T19:45:00.000+05:30

I often notice that some people just don't remove the plastic covers off their car seats. These are the same people who do not remove the bubble wrap off their refrigerator tops and the thermocole below their telivision sets. Maybe they don't even remove the tags off their new clothes!

The purpose of transport packaging is just that... transport. Once they have been signed, sealed and delivered at the doorstep, the utiity of these polymer friends is over. They are supposed to be removed and recycled. Keeping them on does not in any way enhance the visual appeal of the product, in fact it does quite the opposite. These same people might argue that these covers help protect the items longer. I ask these people, just how comfortable is plastic rustling beneath your butts or the thermocole acting as a dirt magnet? Yes maybe they protect, but from whom, for what? When these cars are sold off, the new owner simply rips off the cover to get brand new seats. They enjoy something that the first owner could never get himself to do. Things should be maintained and kept properly, but not at the cost of personal comfort. So throw off all the plastic and thermocole and get yourself a new you!

Shit.. I ripped the plastic cover. I better tape this soon lest my chair gets dirty..........

Development..

2010-04-18T16:49:00.000+05:30

Nowadays it is sexy to talk about emerging economies. About how they weathered the financial storm, about how they were the first to bounce back, about how they were the least affected of all. The list goes on. I see a lot of discussions cetered around these topics, it's all about money honey.

This is how development is measured nowadays. But unfortuantely what people miss is that all this discussion is about'Economic' Development. It's easy to generalise economic development to just development. In my eyes, economic development is just one aspect of development. In some ways, it is the elder and sexier of the siblings. Nobody really talk about the other type of development, Emotional Development.

I guess nobody wants to talk about it since there is no fixed way to measure such development. You can always measure the GDP of the contry, it's deficit, it's credit worthiness etc. It is really difficult to tell how emotionally developed a country is. By emotional I mean a lot of things. A feeling of self worth, a feeling of being included, a feeling of being heard, a feeling of being able to make a difference, a feeling of trust, of mutual benefit, of love. All this does not come in a day and certainly does not mirror economic develpoment.

A country that excels in economic development might be neglecting emotional development. Who likes to do un-sexy things? It is easier to just neglect them. With economic development comes fianancial muscle. A strength to arm-twist the world into agreement, a feeling of being the Goliath. What does emotinal development give? Nothing tangible really. But it cannot be neglected.

For me a sense of self worth is very important. I do not want to live in a place where I am not respected as an individual even if it gives me more money. How long can you earn more and neglect your self respect? We live in a democracy that is the biggest but also the most inefficient. But, I still feel empowered. It gives me a false sense of control. A feeling that if I want, I can change things. I do not feel I am in an environment where orders just come and I am supposed to follow.

As a country where are we with this emotional development? Very premature I would say. How many in our contry feel included? How many feel they are heard? (How many are actually heard?) Where does this all lead. It's alright to say we are the second fastest growing economy in Asia (probably very soon the world), but does that put us on par with the so-called developed world? The answer is No. We may be beating a lot of countries in the rate of growth, but we lag far behind in the rate of emotional growth.

But all is not lost, we haven't been standing still for the last 63 years. We have made progress, albeit very slowly. A lot of us are first, second or at the very most third generation educated individuals. That means a lot of us have had very close links to rural India. A chance to see development through the bioscope of time. You can visit the rural areas and travel 30 years back in time and then visit the new high-end mall and see maybe 5 years into the future. All this means, we are on the right track, but not there yet. There is a lot to be done. We need to include more. The instruments are there. Our wise forefathers put all the instruments in place when they gave us a free country. The trouble is, we just freeloaded, expecting things to happen on their own.

The time has come that we stand up and do something. This does not mean we have to topple governments. This means starting in our neighbourhood. Let's start teaching, let's get everyone access to water, to medical care, let's save the poor wild animals. If all of us pitch in, we can make it happen. We are lucky to have a free country, we have the power to be free.

This reminds me of the popular Spiderman quote. 'With great power comes great responsibility'. So, time to get a little bit responsible?

Co-operate Operate

2010-01-19T22:11:00.000+05:30

For starters, I am not going to feel guilty and dedicate my first paragraph to justify why I have not been blogging. Well, I did not and let's leave it at that.

I have been reading this book, that really tells how the Internet is enabling people to work together at a whole new level. Teams that traditionally used to sit together in one office or location to work on a common project, now work sitting thousands of miles apart. More often than not, nobody knows more than one or two other members of the team and many not even one! They never meet, don't have long meetings nor endless telephone calls. Nobody divides work. Everyone just chooses what to do and that's how the general scheme of business is. 'That's not awfully efficient', you would think. It turns out, it's actually immensely efficient and successful. Actually, it's even more even more efficient than the best of business models.

What this model means, that only the most driven people hop onto such projects. That essentially means that they get a personal kick out of working for it. The process of self selection means that you choose to do only what you are best at. What does all this result in? A whole lot of right people automatically fitted to the right job and who actually enjoy doing their work and need no other incentive.

Certainly beats the conventional thinking that the biggest incentive to work on something is money or maybe recognition. Well in this model there is no money and little personal recognition. Of course the end product is beautiful and gains a lot of recognition, simply because you have dedicated like minds working to a single common goal. That's the project manager's Holy Grail isn't it? I think it is. Earlier I was a bit skeptical about this model. Especially since I failed to see any incentive in such a model. And since humans work on an incentive based system, it beat me as to why someone would dedicate his or her time to contributing to something that would give them no money and little or no recognition.

By now you must have guessed what I am talking about. Yes, I am talking about the many online community projects from Open Source Software to Wikipedia to Google Earth. These projects are testimony to the fact that community projects have potential to grow huge and also allay any fears of inefficiency, inaccuracy or any other in. Yes there is potential to inaccuracy, but there is an even more potential of getting it rectified it immediately. Wikipedia is constantly growing, at the same time a army of moderators are vetting the content and making sure that it is accurate. One might argue that there are many errors in Wikipedia and it's certainly not the best. Well encyclopedias like Britannica have the same rate of errors (actually even more) as Wikipedia and it's not even free! So what does one get from it, that free community contributed content is not necessarily of low quality. Actually, there is a high probability that it is actually the opposite!

Very recently I started testing the open source waters. And I did not find it to cold. Actually it's really good. Suddenly you have access to so many softwares that you don't even have to pay for. Of course I can never make an open source software on my own, but I do support their cause now. And no I don't think it is of inferior quality just because it's free. Suddenly I am now 'Ubuntu'ing!

Want to know more about mass collaboration? Go read 'Wikinomics'!

Going far gets you closer...

2009-07-29T02:25:00.000+05:30

I have been very lucky to have had an opportunity to travel a lot since a very young age. It started with going across the breadth of India during my early years and since I started working, I was again lucky in getting a chance to travel halfway around the world.

Now as my time here has almost come to an end, I can't help but look back and see what did all this travelling give me? Well for starters it has shown me so many different surroundings, people, animals and of course weather. It also helped me appreciate the fact that I am so lucky to be from a country with such diversity, a diversity not even seen in the whole of europe taken together.

All european countries are very different from each other. Different languages, different topography, people looking different, different living styles, different weather. Quite like the different states of my own country. Actually India is even better. On one side it has the Himalayas for the European Alps, Goa for the Spanish beaches, Gangetic plains for the Netherlands, blunt puneri for the blunt dutch, the Sundarbans for the dutch Zeelands, north eastern forests for the Scottish Highlands, the Thar desert for..... well nothing.

Somebody recently asked me, "What is the best place to visit in India?" It took me while before I could answer. Of course I know many places where one can go. But its so difficult to pick a winner. The best I could do was to throw back a curved ball by asking what the person wanted to visit. I just said, " Just pick any topography you want to visit and I will tell you where to go". And that is true, isn't it. Whether you want to go to a desert or a place with rains reaching upto 1000 mm in a day, wheteher you want to go to a place miles away from civilization or a place full with people, whether you want to go on top of a mountain or deep sea diving, whether you want to be in a landlocked place or a small island, whether you want to stand in the clouds or under a waterfall, you can do absolutely anything in India.

I guess going far has got me even more closer to a country I call 'Home Sweet Home'.

It does matter....

2009-07-21T02:33:00.000+05:30

The other day I was trying to write a CV. Nah, not changing jobs just trying to write a CV. A sudden revelation dawned upon me. I really did not have a good CV. Yes I work in the largest company in the world, yes my supervisor agrees I am good, yes my friends will suggest I know my shit, yes probably my peers would say I have potential. But all this does not matter does it, for a person who is not looking at me but at a piece of paper?

I never delivered a paper on quantum mechanics, I never excelled in university sports, I never did put my heart into getting some academic award or reward. All I did was just do enough to scrape through. Enough to be eligible for that first interview. Thats it. I knew I could probably take it from there. I could not be bothered of trying to achieve laurels with the hope of achieving recognition and adding a few lines to my description.

All that has come to bother me now. When I see achievement, even over achievement around me, and then somebody asks, "What did you do? ummmmmm Bachelor of Engineering. And? ummmmm nothing. Oh!.... ok." So then I gave it some thought and yes its true. If I was looking for the prodigial genius or potential brilliance I would also look for some signs of it, wouldn't I? Even I would like to see some extra lines in that resume wouldn't I?

No matter how much I fought against it. It does matter......

What makes it worth the money?

2009-07-04T18:34:00.000+05:30

A friend recently complained about the exorbitant rates being charged for Business class travel. Having being spoilt with the luxury of Business class travel, I really wanted to protest. So I started the counter-attack. But then when you consider the business lounge, the champagne, the priority lines, the (relatively more) legspace and add it all up and top it off with generous surcharges, it still doesn't even come close to the amounts being charged. I needed to try harder if I was to win this argument. I went ahead with the capitalist barrage and the puny justification that in this liberal world everyone needs to make a profit to be sustainable. But unfortunatley my case did not hold any ground.

Then today I read a beautiful reflection (not exactly beautiful, but beautiful for the fact that I finally had my justification). It said that the airlines could actually make a different entrance for the business class passengers, they can actually keep the costly catch seperate. But they do not simply for the fact that walking into the same door and turning left when everyone around you turns right and the jealous looks more than make up for the extra moolah! Ego massage my friend. Thats what makes it worth the money!

P.S. Do not send me emails telling me what a morally wrong statement I have made. I have been spoilt...... :)

Long Time!

2008-12-29T04:09:00.001+05:30

Its been a really long time since I wrote here. Almost a year. I have been thinking of writing something for a long time but I guess I suffered from the writer's block for a little too long. I did not want this blog of mine to become static for more than a year, so I scampered to get something in before I forget and a year passes by. Especially since this journey started long time ago and it would be a pity to let it die a miserable death.

All this started at a time when things were different, both in my life and in my mind. I was stuck onto something and resistant to the change I was going through. I should have seen it coming especially my life has been full of changes. In my childhood it started with fairly regular changes in my schools. Not that I was expelled, but these changes were simply necessitated by all of us moving to a new place. It was not just a change in the school, but a change in friends, surroundings and climate. Every time start afresh, and learn to settle down.

Then came change in schools in the same place, and again surprisingly none of my old friends ever made it through with me. So there I was in a new place again all alone. It had started annoying me by now. Every now and then a change, and I am left to fend for myself. But I had to accept it sooner or later. I chose sooner.

Then came a chane in life and place as well. From the carefree student life to a responsible working life. And couple that with a change in place. Again refresh. And then, came a change in country. Suddenly, I landed in a country about which till now I had only read about. Lucky for me that by now I have quite mastered the art of change. So I settled in fairly quickly, of course helped by the fact that quite a lot of my fellow countrymen were here before me and that helped things a lot.

Then again a change, I see all of these guys moving back to my country and pretty soon very few of us will remain here. Only two to be exact. And then, the other day somebody asked me how I will manage once they are gone and I just smiled. Humming in my head the song, I will Survive!

It Takes A Tailplane To Learn!

2008-01-11T11:50:00.000+05:30

I started off the new year with the resolution of learning maximum number of new things. The list of what I envisage to learn is a pretty long one which goes on from learning to fly model aircratfs to handling snakes and everything in between.

To start with I chose to learn flying first. This being the costliest of all what I yearn to do, I chose to do it when the conditions are favourable i.e. my father is still keen about it. Well to start with there are pretty elaborate arrangements to be made before giong out onto the field. Pretty costly elaborate arrangements. Somehow I managed to get the cash from my father and got hold of all the equipment. Getting the equipment was another ordeal altogether. But where there is a will there is a way. I got lucky when I found an instructor who could teach my how to fly and also guide me what to get and what not.

So there I was. On the flying field with all the brand new equipment beaming like a 3 year old kid and almost jumping. Almost because I was trying not to jump lest should I damage anything. First some running in of the engine. Then some test flights. Then a take off by my instructor and and here comes the remote in my hand. I take it gingerly and fiddle with the controls and see its effects. It takes quite some time, and quite some flights for me to finally get a grip of handling the controls with the take offs and landings being done by my instructor.

Then came the next stage. I was given the go ahead for landing. So here I come! I approach the runway, overshoot it, reach the rough patch, get the plane low, too low. Apply elevator, the nose yanks up, the glider stalls, the nose dips, again apply too much elevator, the nose yanks up again, the glider stalls again, by this time I am too low the nose dips and hit the ground. Get the glider back to find that I have damaged the nose. Luckily the propeller is fine, repair the nose and off I go up again.

This time too I overshoot the runway. Go above the rough patch, get the plane low, give less elevator this time, the glider does not level out, panic and yank the elevator, the nose yanks and the gliders stalls, again the nose dips, I yank up the elevator, by this time the glider is too low. I hit the ground with the nose pointing skywards. "Houston I have successfully destroyed the Tailplane". Thats the end of the day for me.

In the night sit down and painstakingly repair my baby. But I am unable to repair my bruised confidence. This is the first time in my life that I have had an accident while trying to learn something. I did not have a spill even when I learnt to ride a bicycle. Never scratched the car while learning to drive. And here I am with the tailplane seperated from the fuselage. Imagine what it must have done to my confidence.

So I come back the next day, determined to make the wrongs right. I approach the runway, overshoot the runway again, go over the rough patch, give exact elevator, get the plane exactly parallel to ground and land perfectly. No damage done. "Houston we have a safe landing, with the tailplane still intact!"

I go back again today. Even more determined. Approach the runway, do not overshoot, copy that, do not overshoot, get the plane low and do my most beautiful landing. "Houston, we have a new pilot on the block!"

I come back home and write this down the day I make a perfect landing......

The Truth About Engineering

2007-10-20T21:16:00.000+05:30

Well don't expect it to be a tell all about engineering. And this is certainly not how to survive engineering nor is it a manual on 'How to Triumph in Engineering'. This is an account of what 95% of the students face year after year, semester after semester. Well I won't even flinch before saying that 100% students face it. But I leave those 5% of students who won't accept it as true. As for me it is very much true.

First of all we engineers have the most unattractive of schedules of the whole year. The year starts in june just when the monsoons are gathering steam (literally! and converting that steam to water). Such a season is absolutely not fit for studying. Especially after have a big long holiday of seven days we certainly are in no mood of studying. At least I am not. Well as the monsoon drags on, life goes into the overdrive mode. We do each and everything except studying. Be it trekking, getting wet in the rain, going for movies, again getting wet in the rain, exploring new places, once again getting wet in the rain. In this period we do absolutely nothing related to studies. Not even writing a single sentence in the journals. This party goes on till the end of September.

Then suddenly one day we wake up to find that we have just fifteen days to go before submissions and still 500 pages left to write (excuse me for my exaggeration). Well since this is the case, this period is mainly characterised by running to get hold of writeups, files, your hair or somebody's neck. Whichever be the case, its essentially a fight for survival (in engineering). Rather than delving more into this process, I will fast forward it to the end where we manage to get in our submissions by a hair's breadth. Since we slog so much during this time, it is but natural that we relax after the submissions.

So relax we do. But this relaxation goes a bit over the top. Not until the dates for our vivas are announced that we even look at our books. And when they are finally announced its already too late! Quite often than not, the scenario is that we have to finish three 700 page books in 5 days. I leave the calculations to you.

Its easy to imagine what our state is when we sit in front of the external examiner. Little do we realise that the blunders we make and the extent of absurdity of our answers will put even an illiterate to shame. Its only much later (many a time after the written examintions) that we understand our mistakes. But by then all we can do is sarcastically laugh at ourselves and then brush it off by considering it to be just another bad day.

Then come the written examinations. What it means that we are faced with a seemingly insurmountable task of going through 5 books of 700 pages each within 15 days and hope to get it right with the answers. Frankly, a lot of it is left to the dreaded phenomenon, ...luck! This luck has a peculiarity of going bad just when we need it. Couple this with the saddening fact that our exams are held right after the festive season and well into the Christmas. So while others are enjoying their vacations with their family and friends for company, we have books for company. And not exactly interesting books. Rather anything but interesting.

If such is the state of we poor souls how can one expect that we score well and pass with flying colours. Frankly, those colours are not even worth running with on the ground leave alone flying. They are the coulours of the deep dark abyss. After this discouraging exam season we end up getting a really long vacation of seven days (if we are really lucky) else not even that (four would be a much closer number I guess). And once again the cycle reapeats for the next six gruelling months!

Its a mystery that after all of this people end up saying that the four years of engineering are probably the best four years of their life. An even bigger mystery is that even I feel the same!

The Industrial Behemoth

2007-08-30T22:21:00.000+05:30

Now I am not an economist and neither have I been formally trained in economics. But it requires neither to not miss this point. Well I have had my share of self learning, and understanding the finances, the industry and the economy as a whole. A hobby you may call it. Then I decided to get my hands wet, and a with a little help and ample enthusiasm from my father, I started off. With just ten thousand rupees I tried my hand at the most unstable thing in the economy, the stock market. I feel if u can understand the dangerous thing first then the easier things like debt, mutual funds, and even insurance can be understood easily. So volatility it is for me. At least for the time being.

Let me again repeat that I am not writing about my strategy here. It has too many loopholes. Right now I am going I am going where my brain tells my heart to go and in particular what I can understand. This is the golden rule of managing your finances. Never venture into anything where you can't project no matter how much someone advises you to. Empires have fallen because of this folly, we are but lesser mortals.

During my short stint of three months I have observed one thing. The biggest company of our country, Reliance, hasn't reached where it has through a straight path. I am not talking about how they carry on their business or how they bribe people or how much money they have or stuff like that. I leave that to the journalists. What I am saying is how they go about building their business. First and foremost they declare their future course of business well in advance. May it be a new business or even a change in their present business interests. And all of this is made a big news. I am sure they must be having many inside friends on the fourth estate. Else why would every Reliance news be big news?

What it does is that it fills the competition with fear. So much so that when they declared the launch of Reliance Mobile the alarm bells started ringing for even Idea Cellular which at that time was the biggest cellular service. The relatively newer entrants like Airtel were having emergency meetings to decide their future strategy in wake of the Reliance onslaught. This in turn drove the share prices of Reliance Communications upwards. Now they had even more money to arm twist everyone. I have also come to observe that anything with the Reliance brand name works well in the share maret. They have a certain aura around them that pulls investors towards them. And why shouldn't they be pulled? The Reliance business house has traditinally a very strong mover and has given assured returns to the investors. Never have I seen Reliance stock collapsing like nine pins. This should have happened with Reliance Communications. The extent of losses that it was accumulating in the initial years would have brought any business to its knees. But not Reliance, investors have deep faith in this group.

Lets take the caase of the relatively new Reliance Retail. The news of Reliance getting into the retail business got out more than a year before the launch of its first outlet and with it we saw the same uproar as we had seen with Reliance Communications. But those were the days when they were working behind the curtains to tie up their backend support. And when they were done with it, they launched themselves. Launch would be a euphemism to indicate their coming. We can say the took off! and month after month we can see numerous Reliance Retail outlets opening. There are so many of them that I can again see the Reliance strategy working here. Flush the markets with your low cost product and then let the volume get the profits for you. They have done this so many times that its starting to get boring. But it does still work for them.

There are many other businesses in India who have seen phenomenal growth. But none of them come even close to Reliance when it comes to celebrity status. And that in effect is more than just helping the India's Biggest Private Company to grow even Biggger!......

A Dog's Life

2007-08-20T23:24:00.001+05:30

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Not exactly lately. I am thinking about this all my life. There should always be an element of surprise about oneself. One shouldn't let his cards be known to anyone. I have always been that average joe kind of guy.

One who was never expected to make it big in life. Nor do I support the view that one should go on bragging about his achievements. Rather I have been so secretive about my achievements that there is hardly anyone who knows the whole truth. But then again that always works to your benefit, when you have that hidden energy or a hidden skill its so amusing to use it on the most unsuspecting of victims. It would be wrong to call them victims but then I do derive a certain amount of pleasure by surprising them. In an evil sort of way. So often people think of me as that average kind of guy who will perform in an average sort of way and with average returns and average achievements.

Its so good to be the underdog always. Coz that element of surprise gives you a pleasure supreme. Maybe this is what the tiger feels like after catching its prey...

I Have Company!

2007-08-04T22:38:00.000+05:30

Now there are many who might think that what I write is utterly useless and is nothing but the rantings of a deranged mind. But let me tell you, this community of mine is growing by the day. Actually by the year. I say year because the same time last year one friend of mine started blogging. Well not actually blogging. He never went beyond the first blog. But I guess this time round I have a more worthy opponent. Not an opponent. A companion would be a much better term.

And I am even more happy at the fact that the blog is so much similar to mine. The same random posts. I don't mean the exact same. What I mean is that it is very same in kind. Same kind of abruptness, same kind randomness , same kind of... well I don't know.

What I want to prove is, people like me do exist. And they do like to write. Regardless of it being good or bad. Regardless of wether its even readable. Here I am talking about myself, nobody else. So please all you bloggers out there kindly keep back your guns. I have no intentions of becoming a statistic too soon.

So coming back to my happy announcement. You see the fact that my deranged rantings encouraged someone to start blogging is an awesome feeling. And I want to boast about it. I even thought of putting up a banner announcing the news. But I guess it will be a bit too much. But I will bask in the glory of this news for at least a week. You don't go on influencing people everyday do you? And then again influence someone to jump into something absurdly stupid is even more better. Again the stupid term is for me not someone else. So you can again keep back your guns.

Well I am happy I have company now. Maybe that will propel me to make my posts a bit more frequently. Anyways... signing off... Gotta go to the printer... That banner idea is too irresistible!

Writer's Block or Writer's Bloc?

2007-07-24T19:34:00.000+05:30

My blog can't actually be called a blog. A blog is something thats updated regularly and thats exactly what I don't do. Or we can also say 'Thats not exactly what I do'. We can twist it the way we want. Much like everyone twists the facts to their benefits. Anyways that not what I am writing about.

What I am writing about is what I am not writing. Confused? Even I am. All of you who write regularly will know. By write I mean creative writing. Not submissions. And creative writing need not be necessarily creative. It can just be a mass of words. But every article, essay or anything has a life. It has an idea or a thought behind it. Speaking of thoughts, have you ever noticed how we get so many nice thoughts to write about when its absolutely impossible to jot it down or type it down. Like while riding the bike, travelling by bus, standing in a line, waiting on the road. There are thousands of instances like these. And when we have a paper all we do is draw doodles. Hope everyone knows what doodles are. Doodles are those silly spiral things we draw when we are hell bent on dirtying the paper and finishing the ink.

So the thiing is, that we have, or at least i have, absolutely nothing to write about when I sit in front of the screen to write something down. That for some measure and my busy schedule contribute to my long trysts off the blogging scene. Though its not as if anyone waits for my writings but then again what you have started, you should be responsible enough to run it and manage and not just let it become a one night stand or a couple of nights' stands. Writing all this I still can't make my head think of something interesting to write so you have to bear some more of my absurd rantings about how bad a writer's block is. These moments help me understand the exasperation writers must be going through when they have to face this dreaded thing. For me this thing comes only when I deliberatey sit down to write something. So for me its more of a sporadic occurence. The moment I am away from any kind of recording material, I am full of ideas that are enough to fill volumes. But let that thought pass and remind me that I was thinking of writing down something interesting, and thats it. I can absolutely not write anything down and am capable of only doodling. This is something I call when someone draws random doodles just to fill up the blank space.

I came across an interesting fact. People whom you expect to know that you write frequently have absolutely no clue about it. And those whom you never even dreamt of knowing that you even had a pretty readable profile know all of it. A quirk of fate it seems. Its like when you cry out to be noticed no one even looks at you and the moment you sit down, a crowd gathers. But then again its nice to know that there are people in this world who take out time to read the random rantings of a misfit who seems to always manage to get into places where he absolutely does not fit. But this soul does observe and pretty soon I am going to pen or shall I say key down those observations. And keeping true to my absurdity, these observations will be as random as they come to me. Be it about someone or something or nothing. By nothing I mean to say things that don't exist.

But then again being random again reminds me of one thing. But I guess I should leave that for next time. Jerome K Jerome here I come.

Attitude!! Get rid of it!

2007-05-18T23:57:00.000+05:30

Attitude is something that comes at the beginning of the end of anything. I mean it ends all good things. Friendships, love, projects, dreams, goals. All just go up in smoke. God knows why do we even need to have an attitude. By attitude I mean to say the mean kind of attitude. The 'I know everything and whatever I say is correct' kind of atitude or 'You do not exist lesser mortal' kind of attitude. I have seen so many kids (i call them kids coz they ain't mature enough to be adults) flaunting there attitudes as if they are the creators of this world. Remember we are just a negligible speck on the surface of earth and can become history in a split second. By history I mean kicking the bucket, getting annihilated and not creating history. Thats the work of leaders and we certainly cannot become leaders with the attitude of ours.

I hear kids saying 'I don't care' or 'It does not matter to me' or 'So and so has to be like this' as if it is some kind of an axiom. Whereas on the contrary they do care about it, it does matter to them and so and so can never be like that rather does not need to be like that. Frankly half baked cakes cannot be expected to give sound advice (if you can call it an advice) leave alone making history, they should at least be careful before showing of. Trying to make people fool. What they end up doing is making a fool of themselves.

By writing all this I am in no way trying to prove that I am wise enough to talk on this or that I am some wise guy. All I write are just my observations nothing else. But just think about it, does considering yourself the king ever pay off? In the long run it brings more embarrassing situations than historical ones. We go on to say, if I have done this then its child's play for me to do that. Or I think I will be the best on, the man (or woman) on top.

Its a good thing to try to get to the top. But theres no need to boast about it before you have even reached the top. Rather its not good to boast even when u are on the top. What I say is, why to boast at all. Being modest about our achievements certainly gets us more respect rather than getting it published in the newspaper and becoming the talk of the town (for all the wrong reasons)

Lets just say that rather than an attitude of riddance its better to get rid of attitude.