Lady Guru :: Developing A Translucent Life

Fear: That Hard Pill to Swallow (or gag on)

2011-02-14T17:21:00.000-05:00

Drink up... and suddenly you're ordering the "Big Gulp"!

It’s been quite a long time since I’ve posted here at Lady Guru. Some of you may be aware that we have been working on our move to Costa Rica. Well, we are finally here! Naturally, this experience has been all consuming and so it goes: there are times for “living it” and times for “writing about it”.

For me, this big leap we took moving to Costa Rica, has surely reset the bar on living through the fear! I know, I know - I’ve written about this topic before, but it is worthy of deeper investigation. Once again I say, courage is not about fearlessness, it’s about going into what scares you and living through it. This is truly a practice to be cultivated - to remain grounded and conscious while the Tazmanian devil of illusion, Maya, is trying to suck you into it’s whirling vortex of anxiety. We ALL have things that scare us, it’s just a matter of degrees. Some people are more aware of what those things are than others. It may be as obvious as a fear of flying, snakes or heights or as obscure as a fear of intimacy, abandonment or loosing control. Either way, it’s not an easy pill to swallow – stepping willingly into our vulnerability, looking those things in the face and accepting them for what they are – but, when we do, it is THEN we can grow in all directions towards inner acceptance, compassion, patience, forgiveness… peace. All these things are wrapped up, hidden behind the veil, just waiting to be exposed, but the only true way there is to dive in - tear through the fabric that weaves the barrier between us and the light that holds all these things. In essence, we already ARE these things and we ARE the light. It is simply the fear that keeps us from remembering.

Sat nam!

END OF THE SUMMER

2010-08-27T20:16:00.002-04:00

Dar Williams wrote in her song "End of the Summer":

The summer ends and we wonder where we are
And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car
And you both look so young
And last night was hard, you said
You packed up every room
And then you cried and went to bed
But today you closed the door and said
"We have to get a move on.
It's just that time of year when we push ourselves ahead,
We push ourselves ahead."

...It's the end of the summer
It's the end of the summer,
When you move to another place

I'm sitting out here in the back yard, the cicadas are singing and the air is still, it's a perfect late summer evening. You can sense autumn chomping at the bit; the smells, the light. The above song came to mind and as I looked up the lyrics, it seems it couldn't be more appropriate, since this particular "end of summer" is pretty significant in that it is our last one in the country. We move to "another place" (Costa Rica) early November.

Autumn has always been, by far, my favorite time of year: time to slow down; pull out the socks and sweaters; the crisp nights when you pull out the comforter for sleeping, those beautiful, puffy clouds gracing the bluest of skies; fires in the fireplace; soups and hearty meals... I always said I would never live in a climate where there were no "seasons" as I knew them. But, alas, another lesson in "never say never". I am soaking up every "last" moment of it all with conscious gratitude, while giving way to a NEW idea of "seasons". Rainy vs Dry, over Hot vs Cold - just another way to experience the ever present Yin/Yang of life.

As excited as I am to get down to our new home and life, I am actually very grateful the timing has us enjoying yet one more stateside, east coast autumn; one more date with the quietude of nature as she folds herself up into shorter days, longer nights, winter holidays, jeans, boots, sweaters, hot tea in the afternoons... I am appreciating every moment, HERE, as I am living it, as I know I will be enjoying every moment THERE as I am living it - every present, amazing, captivating, enchanting, crazy, melancholy, challenging, beautiful moment... with eternal gratitude!

Sat Nam!!

No Beginning, No End

2010-06-27T11:33:00.000-04:00

Contemplate… and suddenly you realize the answers have been there all along.

It’s late and I’m perusing YouTube, time traveling back to periods in my life, simply by listening to music I haven’t heard in years, feeling pretty melancholy. Maybe its the music, maybe its Facebook and the recent re-connects to people from a long, lost past, maybe its the full moon, maybe its the slow realization that we are leaving the country and life as we know it, or perhaps its a culmination of it all. I’m transported back to times when it seemed my whole life was still ahead of me, living with an innocent sense of timelessness. I’m standing back there looking ahead, thinking not–too-hard about a place I’m supposed to eventually get to, and here I am, now, at that place wherever it is - looking back but still looking ahead. And, yet I am experiencing a similar, yet deeper sense of timelessness now. It, too, is innocent. Innocent with an ever growing trust, and from that trust comes the ability to look my fears in the face and clearly see them for what they are – maya, illusion. It is the spiral of life, to come full circle, but the spiral ascends and we never truly come back to the same exact place. I’m called to quote the proverb “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” In this notion we come to understand the timeless current that flows beneath everything we experience in this world. The ongoing vibration that never ends, the vibration that resonates within us all …and its sound is AUM…

Namaste

No Expectations

2010-06-17T09:54:00.000-04:00

Let Go… and suddenly you are finding freedom in every new moment.

Sri Yukteswar said, “I do not expect anything from others, so their actions cannot be in opposition to wishes of mine.”… Whew. THAT’s a tall order for us lowly, unenlightened ones, eh? I believe, herein lies the key to ALL successful and peaceful cohabitation with fellow human beings. When you really think about it, you have to consider the question: what is the root cause of any struggling relationship? Yes, expectations. Expecting others to be… what… well, like US? I think pretty much, since this is all we really know. And, this calls to mind another quote: “We don’t see people as THEY are, we see them as WE are.” We can only see through the eyes of our own histories, usually leaving others to fall short of ideas of what WE consider right or wrong, good or bad, acceptable or not. Then who suffers? BOTH parties. One person is left feeling judged or inadequate and the other, steeped in disappointment. By dropping expectations, dropping the history that shades our beliefs, by coming to each moment for exactly what it is, a “new” moment, unlike any other that has come before it, there can be no disappointment, or as Sri Yuketeswar says “no opposition to wishes”. This is a constant, second to second, moment to moment, hour to hour, day to day (well you get the idea) discipline in awareness.

So, the next time you find yourself disappointed in someone, check your responsibility and the part you may be playing to perpetuate that emotion… I’ll bet somewhere in there you’ll find it has something to do with expectations - and within this new awareness you will find the capacity to let it go!

Sat Nam!

Birthing Our Dream :: Pt 2

2010-05-11T14:15:00.015-04:00

The new Blog is UP! I hope you all will click on over to BIRTHING OUR DREAM! and join us - subscribe for updates, as we blog and vlog our journey, building our new home and retreat center in Costa Rica - PURA VIDA!

Sat Nam

Shadow Boxing or Shadow Hugging?

2010-03-18T09:37:00.001-04:00

Illuminate… and suddenly darkness is no longer threatening.

Yesterday I watched the rocumentary Joni Mitchell: Woman of Heart and Mind. I was thoroughly blown away by her endless, streaming talent, wisdom and beauty. Here is a woman who followed her Muse, never once selling out, speaking her raw, poetic, unadulterated truth and yet she struggled with depression. She never cared about being famous, she never even felt comfortable or worthy of it. I was struck by one of the things she said, regarding her embracing depression: “If you get rid of the demons, the angels fly away, too.” How eloquently put!

I was just talking with a friend that very day about her working hard to change herself, taking ownership of her “stuff” and ultimately becoming the person she “wants” to be. I added: “the person you ARE.” She hesitated, and sort of frowned with her response: “Wellllll… I’m not so sure, there are still things I’m trying to get rid of.” Hearing this, I reminded her that while it is true that awareness is half the work, acceptance is also key. We can shift, we can change, but there will always be a “shadow” side. Note: this does not mean a “bad” side. But in this humanistic, dualistic world we live in, there is a flip side to everything. Unfortunately, we tend to think we are supposed to be “happy” or “good” or “succeeding” 100% of the time. We can surely aim towards perfection, but with a knowing we will never be perfect. It is within this paradox that we find peace. So when Joni speaks of the demons and the angels, she reminds us that we truly need both aspects, the light AND the dark. We cannot “get rid” of one without getting rid of the other; therefore we cannot “have” one without the other. From Joni’s depression came some of her greatest work. By shining light upon her dark side, she manifested beauty.

By embracing our own “flip” side with compassion and non-judgment, we begin to understand and accept that darkness in others. By shining light into our darkness, the shadows cease to be threatening, without threat; there is no fear – without fear, a world of endless possibilities awaits!

Sat Nam!

Birthing A Dream

2010-02-13T08:31:00.003-05:00

Imagine... and suddenly anything is possible. Realize your dreams!

Creation Creating, this is who we are. This is WHAT we are. Every creation begins with a thought and every thought is born from purusha, the deeper, divine self that resides within us all. This movement of thought turned to action is the creative process manifest, and from this, like the powerful, exploding cumulus clouds billowing from vapor into form, our world exists. This is the golden thread that connects us all. This is the eternal unfolding.

Our dream of building a sanctuary in Costa Rica has been unfolding for quite a while. We finally sold our house where we had lived for 15 wonderful and cozy years, and now we are very close to purchasing land. As we are getting into the nitty-gritty and logistics of buying land in Costa Rica, an adventure in and of itself, I have been finding it my meditation to surrender to the process while staying strong in my, space – the Buddhists call it the middle way, or for you yoginis out there, sthirasukha: maintaining ease within a steady and alert state. A challenge, indeed! But this morning, as I was finishing my sadhana, I found the (ok, maybe not-so-original) metaphor that helps me stay the course: I feel pregnant with possibility! I am holding this seed of a long-time dream close at my tan tien, like an expectant mother, falling in love with her not-yet-born baby. My heart swells with the idea of being able to build a truly sacred space where people can come to find… well, whatever it is THEY are searching for. And, along this journey, I will embrace the challenges and hold fast the love for this seed. Even when I feel the heaviness of the overwhelming load of challenges and responsibility, I will bring gratitude for it all because every single moment means the seed is growing within a healthy spiritual and emotional environment. The power of this intention will carry forth the very energy that will ultimately sustain the dream in it’s fruition!

By bringing love, compassion and patience into everything we do, every idea we have, every creation we intend – even if in the end if things don’t look as we imagine (and they probably won’t!) – we might succeed in manifesting a healthier world… Keep the dream alive!

When The Fog Lifts

2009-12-04T09:05:00.012-05:00

Face it... and suddenly you are meeting the authentic you.

The other night I awoke to the nearly full moon, brightly shining down upon me through the high windows in our bedroom, like a spot light - I was “on”. So, I allowed La Luna to bathe me in her luminescence as I followed the sensations into my body, which led me to explore some thoughts about identity. Suddenly, facebook came to mind. The name alone opens up a whole new vista for reflection on the subject of the Self. This captivating, global venue where it seems everyone is coming together, appears to be storming the world wide web to extreme proportions. I, too, have an account and visit the site intermittently and each time I do, I can’t help but be drawn into this open-door community. I am driven to share what is going on in my life and I want to learn more about the other “faces” as I peruse their profiles and photo albums, getting glimpses into otherwise unknown territory. And then I think about identity and facebook and can’t help but see the paradox: each one of us a singular entity (or so it appears) steering our “vehicles” this way and that, donning fashion and hairstyles, cars and homes, jobs and friends, ideas and beliefs – announcing it all at this collective domain, where here, it seems we all begin to melt into one - the virtual matrix of the collective unconscious manifest? A big nut to swallow, yes, but as we are led to come together in this time of great global and cosmic transition, will it be the internet that is ultimately the vehicle that teaches us that we are truly all one? Perhaps - or is this virtual collective identity our mere cinema verité projected onto a misty backdrop? And if so, when the fog lifts, will we still know who we are? I suppose only time will tell, as it always does. In the meantime, I pose the question for pondering… who are you? Truly…

Sat Nam (truth is my/our identity), my friends!

Releasing the Negative Charge

2009-07-29T09:55:00.001-04:00

Unplug... and suddenly you are feeling the voltage!

Imagine the amount of unproductive energy we receive everyday simply from the beliefs we carry within us - the thoughts and ideas that we feed and that in turn, feed us. Beliefs and ideas, mind you, that keep us from accomplishing our greatest desires, or from embracing our own special gifts. Everyone of us possess certain belief patterns that have been ingrained in us from an early age by our family, community or culture that literally keep us, as adults, from becoming our most whole and highest selves. These beliefs go so deep, that most of us are completely unaware of them because we want to follow the rules. But do we ever stop to question if those rules might no longer apply? Think of all those ideas or beliefs that bring you nothing but grief, and then imagine how free you would be if you could disengage from those beliefs so they no longer had a hold on you. These beliefs are where we plug into our reality. If we are plugged into the idea: "The only way I can make a living and survive comfortably, is to keep working at this job I hate." or "I'll be able to take that dance class when the kids are out of school because they need me now." we make this our reality. Not right or wrong or good or bad, but the idea is to consciously understand that we are "choosing" that reality. For someone else the scenario could be "This job really stinks and I'm setting my intention to find another, better job - no matter what - or I'll learn to live with less." or "I'll figure out a way to learn how to dance, even if it means I buy a DVD and get up an hour earlier." What is it that sets us apart from one another in these ways? What is it that makes one person more successful, more healthy, more happy than another? Is it money? Beauty? Wisdom? Cultural background? Of course any and all of these things can play into it, but ultimately it is about what we believe; about how we see ourselves, our family, our community, our world and how we believe our family, our community our world sees us. So, by unplugging from those beliefs that no longer resonate for us, and connecting with our deeper potential, we can step up our energetic voltage and begin to follow our path towards truth and contentment and begin to live more empowered and more satisfying lives - particularly in these changing times.

Sat Nam!

Doing vs Being

2009-06-12T17:11:00.004-04:00

Inquire… and suddenly you are getting ALL the facets!

We live in a culture that tends to place a heavy emphasis on our career life. This is obvious to me in a when we consider what seems to be the canned icebreaker during introductory conversations: “…and, what do you do?” I’ve grappled with this question many times over the years – only, of course, after coming to the realization that I am not “what I do”. For a while, I even sort of found the words insulting and yet I cannot blame the asking party who stands blindly before me, cocktail in hand, waiting to hear my job title so they can size me up and put me in their own little proverbial box. After all, if they know “what I do” then it provides them with fodder to avoid that uncomfortable silence between two strangers. It’s not their fault, its how we’ve all been raised. But, as we come together as strangers, looking for ways to connect with one another, aren’t we shorting ourselves by pointing our way towards such a limited question? Surely, this could lead the conversation into some very stimulating material and even help to form a bond, but what about all the other interesting things in a person’s life; their passions, their hopes and dreams and desires; their ability to create, explore; their teachings and learnings? I always try to remember to come back to the fact that we are “human beings” not just “human doings” and “doing” is just a part of our “being”. So when we ask, “what do you do?” we may be only getting part of the bigger picture. Today, when people ask me what I do, I am tempted to say “I do a LOT!... I do meditation and art, I do cooking and exploring. I’m really good at loving, and work daily with forgiveness and acceptance.” But, alas, for the sake of sounding glib, I give them the reply that I know will help make them feel safe and comfortable – something they can work with and expand on from there. But, I’m also working on my own language for when it’s my time to swoop in with the $64,000 question. I’m thinking more along the lines of “so, how do you spend your time?” or “So, tell me about YOU.” It’s not that I don’t want to know what people do for a living, of course that can be a very a interesting and important part of someone’s life, and for the real lucky ones, it just may encompass their deams and passions. On the other hand, some people HATE their jobs and would rather talk about anything BUT – either way, I’ve learned that, there is SO much more to a person than just their job. We are multi-faceted beings and like gemstones, shine in so many areas of life. Next time, try going beyond the surface and allow someone to shine like the prism they are.

Sat Nam!

Transformation 101

2009-06-04T11:54:00.006-04:00

Fire it up… and suddenly you are melting it down!

Whether it’s turning water into wine, lead into gold… or swamp water into pool water, it’s all about the alchemical process.

It appears, due to the nature of things at hand; world economy, world ecology, and the seemingly infinite cosmology, most of us are coming to a place these days that is compelling us to redefine our ways of being. The stock market, the real estate market, the job market, the global market… are bringing us to our knees in a way that we’ve never felt before. Forests are burning, tsunamis are raging, wild life is dying off, epidemics are rampant, Mother Earth is literally cracking under the pressure of the ages and with all we have contributed. In each and every one of our individual worlds, we are all affected and have all contributed in some way, however small – by default, simply by being here. I’m not trying to sound bleak, here, but follow it down through the ages and it’s historically obvious we’ve had our collective cross to bear. But, do we have to succumb to this scarlet letter? And, if not, where do we begin the transformation? CAN we be the change we want to see in the world, as Gandi suggests? Well, quite honestly, I don’t think we have a choice.

Fifteen years ago, when my mother died, I knew nothing would ever be the same and so I set my intention to allow for a “new normal” to settle in, a phrase I thought I’d made up! Now, I’m seeing and hearing it everywhere. In essence, things are changing and they will never be the same again (and that's actually a GOOD thing), and so WE, every single one of us, are called in some way, to transform. The opportunity comes with the loss of every job, every dollar in the market, every foreclosed home, every loved one lost in needless war. This is the most difficult task, as humans, we are called to undertake – to turn our lead into gold – our pain into growth and learning and service to others who are suffering… we all have this capacity within and now more than ever we need each other to sustain the future of our world. Discover the alchemist in you. Stoke the fire, burn off the dross and expose the golden spirit of wisdom, truth and knowledge we all possess. We CAN be the change we wish to see… just open your eyes and look inside.

Peace.

This Too Shall Pass

2009-01-14T18:14:00.004-05:00

Shine… and suddenly you are lighting your way through the dark.

It has now become more evident than ever how the economic downturn is affecting everyone. But, I can’t help but think how this just emphasizes the point: we ARE all connected and how our actions have impact. These are times when we need to be supporting each other any way we can. And maybe that goes beyond a job referral or financial support. Maybe these hard times aren’t just about dollar signs. Not to minimize this important aspect of our culture, but the emphasis there is a bit unbalanced. They say you give power to what you focus on. If we are focused everyday on what we lack or even, what we MIGHT lack in the future, it only keeps us outside of our gratitude for what we DO have, here and now. So, I’ve thought of some ideas about how we can personally steer our way through this darkness in a vehicle that seems to have run amuck.

1) NO FEAR: step away from the TV! Be mindful, but unplug from the constant stream of negative babble, it will only pull you deeper into that negative and fearful place.
2) CHECK YOUR IDENTITY: you are not your job, your house, your car, your bank account... you are MORE, so much more. Honor that you ARE!
3) SHARE: consider giving back. Volunteer or consciously do something that contributes to the well being of someone or something else.
4) STAY STRONG: connect with your body. Staying strong and healthy with exercise and good nutrition helps you to feel as though you are taking some control of your life.
5) STAY CONNECTED: visit with friends regularly. We are by nature social beings. Listen to each others woes, but find ways to support each other in positive ways.
6) GO INSIDE: take some time everyday to connect with your higher source, even if it is just for 5 minutes. Get quiet, feel your heart, plug into your Self and find the trust there, the trust that no matter what, you WILL be ok.
7) HAVE PATIENCE: everything is temporary and this TOO, shall pass. And when frustration ensues, and others begin to get on your nerves, remember – we are all in this together, and we are all doing the best we can.

The only way we can know joy, is to have experienced pain, and us humans have been known to shine in times of darkness. Let us make the best use of these times as we can: to learn, to love, to be kind with others and ourselves; to know that we will cycle around again in this ever turning way of truth.

But, don’t let this stop here - I invite and encourage YOU to add to this list!
Sat Nam!

Imagine THAT!

2009-01-04T12:09:00.007-05:00

Imagine… and suddenly anything is possible!

J.K. Rowling (author of the famed Harry Potter novels) wrote in her Harvard University commencement address: “Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people's minds, imagine themselves into other people's places.” And, isn’t this the very essence of empathy and compassion?

Most of us have grown up with the idea that “imagination” is something outside of what we perceive to be “real”. As children, we had great imaginations. We could play all day long with our toys and friends making up worlds that (seemingly) didn’t exist. Our imaginations protected us from hours of dreaded boredom. As we grew, we came to honor our imagination only if it seemed to bring forth something useful or beautiful. And for adults, it can even have a bad rap: “It’s only your imagination.”

But, isn’t imagination the crux of all creation, all things manifest? Everything begins with a seed, a thought, an idea - by imagining it first. This concept also extends to our ability to understand, empathize and experience compassion for others. For most of us adults, our openness to utilize our imagination has been squelched by years of transitioning - from our inner to outer worlds. As the phrase proclaims: “If you don’t use it, you loose it”. Perhaps we may have been throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

So as we turn this page to new calendar year and are part of history in the making, let us imagine a world of peace, oneness, prosperity, health and abundance…well… imagine THAT!

Sat Nam and Happy New Year to you all!

Adjust Your Thermostat

2008-12-16T13:50:00.005-05:00

Shift perspective… and suddenly your world is transformed!

Just recently we had the opportunity to, yet again, submerge and soak in the mineral laden waters of Wilber Hot Springs, high up in the hills of Williams, CA. Nothin’ but good things up in them thar waters - ahh, I love the smell of sulfer in the morning! But, seriously, there IS healing in those hills that spout the bubbling brew that’s mixing and mingling beneath the earth’s surface. Spewing forth its heated prescription of a remedy for whatever ails you, the waters of Wilber envelope you like the womb you were born from, and you begin to experience the dissolution of your own dis-ease as though it’s rising and evaporating from the very steam that dissipates in the air around you.

Late one night upon emerging from a long, languid soak, I wasn’t quite ready to go inside. The moon and the stars were so bright and the cold breeze that was blowing before I entered the waters was now warm and comforting. I laid my body down on a bench on the deck, flat on my back so to see the sky. All was quiet and the gentle wind blew around me and up into the trees, rustling the dry leaves making a soothing sound. It occurred to me how comfortable I was in the 35 degrees, cloaked in only a light, terry cloth robe. When I came out earlier, I was freezing! Funny, I thought, how by changing my internal temperature automatically changes the external temperature of my environment. Granted, it was still 35 degrees, but my relationship to that same 35 degrees had changed. I was no longer cold and put off by the discomfort. I was now relaxed and enjoying the experience with a completely different perspective.

So, herein lies yet another validation: simply by adjusting our core temperature (or temperament), we CAN transform the appearance of our external environment and thereby, our response to it. By relaxing into our true nature - that of peace, kindness and compassion, our experiences in the world can become more palatable, less threatening and more gratifying!

Soak it up!

Opening Day at Lulemon Annapolis

2008-11-14T18:31:00.013-05:00

The Annapolis Lululemon girls under panties and the Lady Guru banner!

The big day came today for Lululemon Annapolis and boy those LLL girls had it ALL together. The store looks great with lots of cool stuff: work-out/dance/yoga wear, hats, yoga bags and mats (I know I'LL be heading back for that great sticky-travel mat). Janelle was there demonstrating yoga postures and tea, courtesy of Teavana, was served up with an array of scrumptious goodies. So get yourself down to Lululemon, visit those hard-working girls, and make a dent in your holiday shopping.

Sat Nam!

Latest Arrival!!

2008-11-09T16:26:00.008-05:00

The long awaited Lady Guru Chakra Affirmation Card deck has finally emerged on to the scene!
This card deck comes neatly tucked in a colorful array of organza drawstring pouches (Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo & Violet). Every card contains its own chakra related yoga pose and an inspiring, uplifting affirmation - 7 cards in 7 chakra corresponding suits. Include them in your yoga practice or simply keep them on your desk, in your purse, on your dresser, leave them by the front door and grab one on your way out. 49 cards - 49 affirmations to help set your intention for the day! - $18.00

To order, please visit LadyGuru.com.
Sat Nam!

Ease in the Effort

2008-09-25T16:08:00.007-04:00

Relax… and suddenly everything seems easier!

“You can’t always get what you want. But, if you try sometimes, you might find - you get what you need.” Jagger/Richards said this back in the 60’s and it never lost resonance for me. As a matter of fact, it holds true even more so today as I learn to give way to the circumstances and events that arise in my life – some good, some not so good.

We pine for so much, we desire so much – more than what we need, no doubt – and this makes me think of us as children wanting to eat candy all day long and stay up late, but our mother knows it’s not in our best interest. How could this be? We want it so badly, it must be the right thing. Sometimes we even act out when we don’t get what we want - when in hindsight - we can see it clearly, and how what we thought we wanted, is far from what we were supposed to have.

So, does this mean we should give up on our goals? I think not, but rather check our intentions behind these goals. What exactly is fueling our desires, our wants? Are they self-serving? Are they for the greater good? We can’t always understand why things turn out the way they do, and so oftentimes we find ourselves discouraged and defeated, concentrating our focus upon what we DIDN’T get verses what underlying jewel has been gifted to us – and sometimes, when the dust settles, maybe a day, a week, or years later, we awaken to the nature of the experience and all it’s riches to discover we have indeed, gotten exactly what we needed.

Why then, are we repeatedly pulled into the vortex of resisting the daily sour challenges that befall us when all we want is the sweet stuff? Perhaps we could rest in complete harmony with our experiences if we just remember that too much sugar and not enough sleep is not necessarily a good balance for us, even if it is our heart’s desire. And, that in the end, the Universe knows best and that with just the right amount of struggles amidst our repose, we will grow stronger and wiser – the Yogis call it: Sthirasukha, ease in the effort –the ability to maintain steadiness and alertness while remaining comfortable. And, it is through this practice we can open to the abundance of experiences that are to come, knowing that we are held and supported and getting exactly what we need.

Blessings and Peace.

River of Knowledge

2008-09-10T21:17:00.003-04:00

Awaken… and suddenly you have met your truth. Create your own, brighter dawn!

We tend to think that in order to feel accomplished, whether it be in our career, relationship, health, with our children or inner self, we need to be finished or done with something. This idea tends to make us feel complete… for the moment. Every time we reach another milestone, we delude ourselves in believing we have “arrived”, leaving ourselves open for disillusion and disappointment. Of course we are never finished or done. There’s a reason it’s called a “journey”. Everything in our lives has the potential to wake us up … over and over and over again.

As I walk this path, step by step I have come to understand that every moment is an opportunity for learning or awakening. Every action, every thought, every intention I put forth in the world, brings with it powerful potential for growth. My own Lady Guru continues to remind me over and again that we are never “finished”. The lessons cycle back to us continually until we become masters at the art of learning. Hence the phrase: “River of Knowledge”… continually flowing, and as Alan Watts says: “You cannot understand life and its mysteries as long as you try to grasp it. Indeed, you cannot grasp it just as you cannot walk off with a river in a bucket. If you try to capture running water in a bucket, it is clear that you do not understand it and that you will always be disappointed, for in the bucket the water does not run. To 'have' running water you must let go of it and let it run."

Perhaps the “knowledge” is not about “having”, but about seeing, and being in the flow of the awakening, the learning in every new moment.

Sat Nam.

Creating Valuable Space

2008-06-13T07:03:00.003-04:00

Expand… and suddenly you can’t ignore your own vastness!

Regarding mental clutter, Shri Brahmananda Sarasvati said: “Without space, creation cannot take place. When you purchase a house, you purchase the space, which is surrounded by the walls. The more space, the more valuable the house. You cannot think anything if you have no space within your mind. You cannot welcome any guest in your house if you have no space within your house. You cannot receive any thought from outside if you have no space within your mind.”

I love the way this analogy really drives it home for me. I find when I look upon the times that I am feeling stuck, whether in work, relationship, or in any unfavorable reaction that may arise in a given day, I can see it relates directly from my over thinking and mental spinning. When I think of words that define a positive and receptive state of mind, it makes sense that they come to me as: “clear” and “open”. There truly is a feeling of “spaciousness” when my inner and outer worlds are in harmony.

My clutter always comes with a story. If I were to look at it clearly, I could, no doubt, trace it back to old belief patterns that try to convince me that I am right. It will tell me that I have all the information to assess whatever situation is before me and all that information is true, therefore, I need not take it further. This can show up by way of a casual conversation, planning my day, driving to the store, cooking dinner – in short, my daily life. So because of these beliefs driven by personal historical content, I become closed and unreceptive to any new perspective. But, by keeping an “open” mind, I can “clear” my mental space. In Buddhism, they call this “beginner’s mind”, which now provides room for “new guests” – even if they seem familiar – to roam or rest in the expanse I have cultivated by dropping the history. More space… more value!

Sat Nam!

Celebrating Half a Century

2008-06-05T20:04:00.004-04:00

Be Alive… and suddenly consciousness exists in every cell of your being.

Yesterday, my body and I celebrated our 50 year anniversary together. It was a simple, albeit, significant day, a day of honoring exactly where we are together; all the aches and pains and new wrinkles, the fluctuating moods that come with perri-menopause, and not to mention the ever so slightly, but definite beginnings of the dreaded “meno-pot”. However, it was also a day of mindfully thanking and honoring the beauty, strength, resilience and grace of: these feet that have walked hundreds of miles to get me wherever I needed to go; these legs that have danced me into oblivion a countless number of times; this spine, so strong in supporting this structure in all its unlimited (and limited!) ways; these arms for all the hugs they’ve ever given AND received; these shoulders for carrying the weight of all the challenges they’ve ever had to bear; these eyes for all the beauty there is to see; these ears for experiencing the infinite vibrations of sound; this nose for all the memories it can conjure from one simple sniff; this tongue for to taste, talk, sing; and this heart… not only for keeping the blood flowing through these veins, but for the love, the compassion, the gratitude and the forgiveness as well as the sorrow and suffering that all comes from being painfully and joyfully human.

Happy Birthday to Us, and to Us a birthday EVERY day.

Blessings and Sat Nam!

Lighten Your Load

2008-04-23T09:05:00.006-04:00

Purge… and suddenly you discover you have riches beyond your wildest dreams.

I’m sitting in our living room while just outside our windows, the garbage men are hauling and heaving our 30-some odd feet of curbside trash. Well, ok, I use the word “trash” loosely. As they say: “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”. Every four months, an event called “Bulk Trash Pick-Up” occurs in Historic Annapolis. It’s a popular custom in our neighborhood to go cruising the streets, rummaging through the piles of stuff people have pulled out of their houses – some perfectly good stuff laying patiently at the street, waiting to be driven off to some far-away landfill. More than a number of times we have come across what at the time, appeared to be some “good finds”. For instance, there was that time we discovered someone was throwing away four, perfectly good movie theatre seats – what a coup! Of course they went straight to the basement and stayed there until we finally hauled them out to the street for yet another round of “finders/keepers”.

This time we purged BIG. Our attic, closets and basements had been overrun with 21 plus years of accumulated stuff. So over the weekend our dear (and brave) friends helped us (very nearly) empty our basement in preparation for a mega-yard sale, strategically planned for just prior to bulk pick-up. Translation: NOTHING goes back into the house, it moves straight out to the street.

So, watching as our belongings are tossed mindlessly into the big, trash hearse for that final resting place, I feel a sense of lightness in letting go and at the same time a sense of sadness about how much we have contributed, over our lifetimes, to the ever growing landfills. We are a culture of “conspicuous consumers”, mindlessly buying, hoarding, then ultimately eliminating. Why do we need so much STUFF?? Why do we SAVE so much stuff? What are we afraid will happen when we no longer “own” it? This brings to mind something I heard recently: an original Native American custom portrays the richest family of the tribe as the one that owns the least. It is customary to give away your belongings so that others may prosper, with the belief that you will be held and supported. THAT is faith.

So, in light of our recent purging in preparation of selling our house and letting go of what we have called home for over 13 years, I am reminded, yet again, of what I have attached myself to and identified with. It is a life-long meditation on realizing that your “stuff” does not reflect who you are, nor will it sustain you for the long haul. You truly do have everything you need - right inside your own heart, and you will be held and supported no matter how difficult it feels to let go.

Sat Nam!

Dead Sharks

2008-04-05T08:49:00.004-04:00

Relate… and suddenly you are swimming in the waters of unification.

There invariably comes a time in many of our lives when we are forced to ask ourselves what “serves us”, particularly regarding the matter of relationship. We move through our lives making friends, lovers, acquaintances, business contacts… an endless stream of meetings, greetings, connections and partings. We all have had the experience of discovering that ideal simpatico camaraderie, sharing similar likes and dislikes. There is that perfect rush of totally connecting through dynamic dialogue, mutual inspiration, and just plain being comfortable together.

But, what happens when all of that relating begins to break down - when we start to feel the threat of a history unraveling? Gradually (or suddenly, in some cases), we begin to feel things differently: maybe we’re not being heard or feeling misunderstood, there are lapses in communication and not as much time spent together… what exactly is it that moves the relationship to this next, almost inevitable, phase? Time? Personal growth? Geographical distance? Most likely, if we look more closely, we can see it has been brewing for longer than we may care to see. And it is perhaps here we see the cold, hard fact —truly: “nothing lasts forever”.

Learning to let go of relationships that no longer feed us, or contribute to our overall inner growth, is a hard nut to swallow and is perhaps even a time to grieve— as we are saying goodbye to teachers who have helped shape us into the very beings we embody today. But, to paraphrase Woody Allen: “Relationships are like sharks– they have to keep moving forward in order to survive…” And with that said, some of us may find ourselves relating to his final thought on the matter: “I think what we have here is a dead shark.”

Keep it moving forward, or move on.
Blessings and peace.

In Your Right Mind

2008-04-03T08:59:00.009-04:00

Expand… and suddenly you can’t ignore your own vastness.

Someone recently sent me a link to a video from the web site TED.com. (videos from “the annual conference that brings together the world's most fascinating thinkers and doers, who are challenged to give the talk of their lives (in 18 minutes)”

The speaker that was brought to my attention is Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph. D. – a neuroanatomist (brain scientist). One morning, Taylor had the opportunity to study her own brain – from the inside out – as she realized she was having a massive stroke. She articulates her experience in great detail, giving us a first hand account of being inside a body that is experiencing the complete shut down of the left hemisphere of the brain. As most of us are aware by now, the left side of the brain is the seat of language and processes in a logical and sequential order. It’s also the part of ourselves that we use to define who we are (ego?). The right side is more visual and processes intuitively, holistically, and randomly. It is the side that experiences our feelings, sensations, the here and now (conscious awareness?). It was Taylor’s left side that experienced the blow out – leaving her to solely experience her right, or intuitive side, freely, without the input of her logical, identity-defining self: “I could no longer identify the boundaries of my body, I felt enormous and expansive. I felt at one with all the energy that was, and it was beautiful there.”

I bring all this to light because what strikes me so profoundly is not only her amazing recovery, but the gift she received through her own personal experience, to bring this important message to the world – a brilliant scientist who experienced a connection with the divine – through her own study of her massively debilitating physical trauma with her own scientific mind.

It might be easy to shrug off the radical, tarot toting, jewelry dangling, evangelistic astrologist – but, as more and more people of modern science step forward with their own stories and discoveries and awakenings, more of us in modern culture will perhaps begin to explore for ourselves the mysteries of our own deeper meaning, and perhaps lead us to expand into the vastness of wholeness and oneness and peace.

http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/229

Be… in your right mind!
Sat Nam!

Unhappy Anniversary

2008-03-25T09:33:00.001-04:00

Realign… and suddenly you are back on track.

Earlier this month, while sitting at my desk, I was overcome with sensations and emotions by way of what I refer to as “involuntary total recall”. It was all at once, disconcerting, confusing and curious. I felt as though I was re-experiencing something from my past, something that had occurred several years ago. I seemed to be instantly projected backward in time to this very difficult period. Intellectually, I knew I had traveled far from that place and was now safe inside the new growth and understanding I had come to know along the way, but emotionally, I was reliving it. I stopped what I was doing and just sat with it, allowing myself to feel it. I was marveling at how fresh and clear it felt. I became the witness. It was so strong in it’s presence, I felt compelled to check the calendar – March 2. I was stunned by the accuracy of the timing of this “visitation”. It was March 3rd, three years prior that I received news that would send me spinning off my axis for the following year!

So, was it a coincidence, that less than a week later, my lower back went out to the point where I could barely move? I couldn’t help but contemplate, yet again, the notion of cellular memory and how we are, in fact, physical blueprints of every emotion we experience. Perhaps if we can learn to really listen to our bodies with compassion and patience when they “act out”, we can get a greater understanding of what is really going on inside our Selves and realign our focus accordingly. Maybe this way, we can ultimately lessen the blows (physical AND emotional) while meeting them with dignity, divinity and grace.

Stay Well!

Coming Around Again... and Again

2008-03-06T09:14:00.002-05:00

Float… and suddenly you are winding your way up the spiral.

Just recently, I found myself in a particular situation, that, how should I say, wasn’t anything new. This episode I was dealing with was one where I had found myself several times in the past. So, the stage was set as I agreed to come into the scene, yet again, knowing the history and arriving with preconceived ideas about how things will unfold. So, when things turned in the direction that I had expected, I found myself (yet again) impatient, annoyed and frustrated. First, it was all directed toward my nemesis of the moment, but then I began to look at what was really going on: I chose this, I understood the nature of the situation and I allowed myself to get swallowed up in the drama I was co-creating -THEN, I turned the anger and frustration towards myself for doing so –THEN, I found myself as the witness, watching it all. I continued to bounce back and forth between these perspectives all day. It has been a very interesting unfolding, and I’m still reeling in the amazement of how we continue to take things on in life, over and again, until we learn what we are supposed to learn. Is it about learning patience and acceptance or is it about boundaries and living your truth? Is it about finally closing the book on something or going deeper into it to learn more… I guess the only way to know the answers to any of these questions is to be awake and present in the midst of it all and to make our decisions based on our higher wisdom or intuition - our most useful tool for growing towards authenticity and wholeness – and trust the outcome will be exactly what it needs to be. Because, even when we feel like we’ve come full circle or “been here before” we can trust that we are climbing the upward spiral and we ARE making progress.

Sat Nam!