Its been a really beautiful season, hasn't it? 

Thank you so much for sharing so kindly and generously with me through it. 

+Chelsea

See, my darling?  It wasn't so bad. 

+Chelsea

These past several days, with my honeys both quite sick and the light so short and cold, have felt very dark to me.  It has been melancholic. 

Pan is going through a bit of a growing change and so sleep has gone by the way side for about a week now.  And as I laid in bed with him, trying for hours to soothe sleep into his little body, I realized how much I had grown to depend on his regular sleeping patterns as my time.  Time for quiet and thinking and making whatever I can fit into the short hours.  Time for tidying or a hot shower.  Time for sitting with Sebastian and working on our respective projects, with or without talk.  And I realized that even when Pan does ease back into a more regular sleeping rhythm, everything is going to change when this new babe comes.  And that is a little bit terrifying. 

All babies are different, and there is a chance that he might sleep a bit more than Pan did as a newborn.  But oh those first 5 months.  Those first 5 months seemed to last the course of years.  They were long and lonely and tired and so frustrating.  And they kept playing out in my head as I laid with Pan in the darkened room for hours every night this past week.  

The low, though, feels to have lifted now.  The solstice has been marked and honored, quietly but deeply for me.  He is sleeping in longer stretches now.  The fear is still there.  Everything will change.  There are things that you cannot change and things that you would not change.  This little one, he is coming and we will love him so.  Pan will continue to go through growths and we will adjust each time.  Each time he will grow a little more independent, and that is so beautiful to watch.

And the light is creeping back in.

Many things from the list have been let go of.  But at long last (thankfully, she was running behind too, so there was understanding on both ends), I was able to send off my offerings for the winter round of the exchange.  

A winter forest gnome and his little yule log home.  A small mushroom that changes what you see into something strangely beautiful.  And a beeswax candle light.  Because light is so needed just now.  

I hope the winter solstice saw you warm and well.  I wish you ever-increasing light in the days to come. 

+Chelsea

The baking was good.  By all accounts.

+Chelsea 

How is it that you can wake every twenty minutes for three nights running, now...

...and still have so much energy for play when the sun is out and shining?

Thank you so much for all your wellness and birthday wishes.  They were truly bright bits for some hard days.  Croup is scary.  Pan has been a champ, really, staying calm and sweet through the roughest patches.  And the tightness seems to have finally broken.  He even ate quite a bit of rather spicy chili yesterday, which was the first time he showed any real interest in food in several days. 

And the big one got a diagnosis, finally, too.  Sinus infection.  A mean one.  Hopefully the meds will help more than my tea and and homeopathics and essential oil concoctions have. 

I've got grand plans of baking, baking, and baking for this weekend (I don't know, can you call that baking?  Maybe I should just say sweet-making) -- I'm keeping my fingers crossed... 

+Chelsea

Awaking to a soft, gorgeous, thick coating of snow...

Bundling up for a quiet walk to a hot breakfast treat...

Enjoying the last day of our "weekend" together with a family nap and hot supper.  Waiting for my honey to come home from school so we can have spicy hot cocoa and spoon on the couch...

And tomorrow I'll be 24. 

Which feels so much more grown up than 23.

+Chelsea

Starting the project three hours before it is supposed to be given as a gift -- no longer how long you have been visualizing it in your head -- is never a good idea.

+Chelsea

Sebastian, poor fella, ended up spending pretty much all of the day home sick.  The guy gets sick a lot, and just never really has the time to let his body rest and heal (what with working two jobs AND going to school).  We never get the whole day and whole night together, so it was a real sweet treat -- factoring out his wicked cough, sore throat and achey-ness (which are getting the royal treatment of custom-blended teas, steamer bowls with essential oils, hot soup, pulpy orange juice and full-on, pajamas-all-day resting).

And the best medicine for a sick daddy?

Having lunch with a cutie mc-cuterson, of course.

+Chelsea

 

Someone hacked into my email account.  I've taken all the steps I'm supposed to take to re-secure it (I think), but I am so sorry if you got a SPAM mail from me about some shopping network.  I promise I didn't send it intentionally.  I think it went to everyone I have ever been in contact with via email.  I would send out an apologetic email, but I think that the people who understand that this wasn't something I did on purpose are cool with it.  I actually got a couple of very lovely emails from sweet friends I haven't heard from in quite some time.  And I really needed that this morning.  

But, to the ex-supervisor that emailed me to tell me that it was crazy and to never contact her again and that she couldn't believe a college graduate would write so poorly?  I think its fairly clear that I wouldn't write a message like this:

Recommends the net shopping station to you: www.unsico.com
 this is a scale very big company, it is a network sale company which
establishes by many famous brand company synthesis.This company mainly
sells the motor, the computer, the television, the handset and so on,
its quality may obtain the guarantee.Now they for the expansion
company scale, enlarge sale dynamics, right now hold promotion.If has
you to need please to enter the website.
Anticipates your presence!

And it re-confirms that resigning from a position where I was putting in very quality work that was going unappreciated was a good move on my behalf. 

Good Morning.

+Chelsea