Lamar Van Dyke

It's All a Scam

2011-07-24T10:02:00.002-07:00

While the politicians in Washington argue over whether raise the debt ceiling, do away with social security, take funding away from community based groups and lower taxes even more for corporate America, the Fat Cats are getting fatter and it's business as usual on Wall Street. The oil companies are showing record profits and Haliburton stock is currently at a 52 week high with net earnings of 511 million dollars in the last quarter. Shell shocked vets are the majority of people staggering down the streets of America, sleeping in doorways and alleys. Hard working people find themselves unable to afford basic health care. I hear a lot about cutting government spending but I hear nothing about cutting politicians salaries, or limiting their expense accounts. Instead I hear about proposed funding cuts to Planned Parenthood (like we need more people on the planet!) National Public Radio, domestic and international Aids programs and on and on and on. Health care isn't even a real concern to them and god forbid we should tax the rich or hold those namesless faceless corporations accountable. It's a pretty good ride if you're a major stockholder. If you're a person that's simply trying to pay your rent you're on your own, Charlie.
Washington D.C. is corporate headquarters and the politicians are on the payroll. They're no longer working for their constituents, they're available to the highest bidder and working for their special interests. The cards have been dealt, the outcome is predictable. More for them, then even more for them, and if that's not enough, let's make sure there's more for them.

It's the Biggest Heist in History

2011-07-24T10:02:00.000-07:00

4th Nov 2010

Posted by Seattle Gay Scene in 2010 Elections

This last mid-term election cost over 4 BILLION dollars. That’s four BILLION dollars that went from corporate America to politicians to advertising agencies, who decided the best way for politicians to lie cheat and steal their way into power; television stations that aired those abominable ads; public relations firms , consultants, and mass mailings that inevitably ended up in the garbage. The sad thing is that 4 Billion dollars is a drop in the bucket compared to the amount of cash the lobbyists are throwing at the politicians on a daily basis. It’s nothing compared to the amount of money being spent on two wars that mean nothing to us, but mean big profits to the Military Industrial Complex.
Contrary to the media blitz that would have us believe an event beyond our comprehension has caused this recession, there has been a robbery, plain and simple. There is a limited, although abundant amount of actual money in the United States and seeing as I haven’t heard about any fires at Fort Knox, or batallions of armored cars filled to the gills with money being vaporized by aliens, the big question is, “Who has the money?”
While people are losing their homes, losing their savings and having their retirement funds stolen by their bosses, corporate America is passing the money back and forth, buying favors to increase their profits, patting each other on the backs while they smoke cigars and fly around in their private jets. They’re paying themselves millions upon millions of dollars a year while they whine about “tough economic times” and stuff their workers down the garbage disposal. American arrogance is a global joke. The nation is in shambles and we continue to attempt to spread “democracy” around the world like an insidious virus.
I doubt very much that this fiasco bears any resemblence to what Tommy Jefferson and the boys had in mind when they cranked up that war for independence that we’ve heard so many stories about.

2011-07-24T09:59:00.000-07:00

Van Dyke’s Soapbox: DADT is dead but War is still Hell.

Being the big old rabble rousing dyke that I am, I suppose I should be ordering a keg to celebrate the fact that it looks like we can be openly queer and still kill people while they’re making breakfast or getting ready to go to school, as long as a few conditions are met.
1.     The victims have to live in a foreign land
2.     Someone has to order us to do it
3.     And we have to be wearing the uniform of the U.S. military
Back in the good old days before the advent of the wheel, young men were drafted into the US military and forced to kill in Southeast Asia. But, this was a strain on the psyches of the men who found themselves in such a state of peril, as they watched their best friends blown to bits before their eyes. Things were never the same when they returned to their former lives, which did not involve killing on command, or being ever vigilant even when asleep. Many of them moved into the streets trying to drown their guilty consciences with bottles of whiskey, while others joined the American Resistance and successfully organized to abolish the draft. That’s when the U.S. military became a volunteer organization.
Women wanted equality in all things, including the right to volunteer to be on the front lines, and they got their wish along with unbelievable sexual harassment including rape by their fellow soldiers.  Now it’s the queers.  I say, if that’s really what you want to do, then starch that uniform, polish your boots, and go to the Cuff on Uniform night.  Leave that gun at home, and leave those poor people in Iraq and Afghanistan alone.
Oh yes, they’re waving that old red white and blue like there’s no tomorrow, while they try to spread democracy around the world like an infectious disease. We’re defending America against the nameless faceless terrorists who are out to destroy us. But the story changes with the times.   In Korea and Vietnam, we were fighting the plague of communism which Russia was supposedly spreading like butter on bread.
When the United States was unsuccessful in finding and annihilating Osama Bin Laden after 911, the enemy morphed into Saddam Hussein and his fictitious weapons of mass destruction. Once Iraq was demolished, we moved onto Afghanistan where it’s hard to tell if someone is a terrorist, or a farmer working in their fields. You know, we had that same problem in Vietnam. Couldn’t tell who was a communist and who was a farmer, so we just killed them all, children included.  After all, they could grow up to be communists; might as well nip it in the bud.
For now, the terrorist threat is working and when everyone gets sick of that excuse for war, it will be something else. Even though war has been proven time and time again to be  completely ineffective as a problem solving method, it reigns supreme. War reigns supreme because it’s profitable. Doesn’t anyone get that?  So, yes, my brothers and sisters, you’ve won the right to raise your rainbow flags as your charge into battle making money for Haliburton and the war mongers.  What a victory!

2011-07-24T09:57:00.000-07:00

I suppose it’s always good to have evidence of your manhood available, just in case, in a moment of panic, you reach into your pants in search of comfort and find…..NOTHING. If Mr. Wiener’s name was Mr. Longnose do you think he would have photographed his nose for posterity?

And, of course, the women of America are sitting breathlessly in front of their computers just waiting for a photo of the right dick to come along, so they can have a reason to continue laughing.
American politicians have done an outstanding job flaunting their enormous capacity for stupidity on every level while the whole world watches in disbelief. ”Stupid is as Stupid Does” The internet is a PUBLIC forum, everything you post is available to anyone at any time and will be for years to come. Everything is traceable, everything is recorded. Internet anonymity is an oxymoron. It is unbelieveably stupid for anyone to put anything personal on the internet. It’s unbelieveably stupid to have private arguments on facebook; to break up with lovers via e-mail; to rant on twitter. 15 years from now, those words will still be there, but you will have moved on.

I’m afraid I’ve become rather complacent about the stupidity of men, especially as it relates to their dicks.

But, as far as I know, sex between consenting adults is still legal in the United States, and whether you respect your wedding vows or not, is, in my opinion, a personal issue. The morality police would disagree with me, and oh, horror of horrors, suprise suprise, Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with his housekeeper! John Edwards fathered a child with one of his campaign staffers, Bill Clinton gagged Monica, and JFK had Marilyn. Thomas Jefferson fathered 7 children with Sally Heming, whom he owned… The mayor of Portland, Ore. The mayor of Spokane, it goes on and on. The list is so long, it’s impossible to reproduce here. If you’d like a more complete list of indiscretions, google "political sex scandals". You'll see what I'm talking abougt.
I don’t expect much from the idiots running around to meetings and dinners and parties in Washington, DC. I’ve learned to avoid disappointment by lowering my expectations. What concerns me, is the Morality Police, the legions of spies and snoops who go digging for evidence that the men in power are violating the laws of propriety by sticking it in central vacuuming when no one is looking. It’s the same Morality Police that keep screaming about the sanctity of heterosexual marriage, (which is crumbling before our very eyes) and sex being intended for procreation (as if we need more people on the planet!). It’s the Morality Police creating sexual subterfuge while two overt wars, and an undisclosed number of covert wars have bankrupted our nation…

It’s the Morality Police creating scandal to divert our attention from the real problems that are keeping us from moving forward. The Rich are getting richer while the rest of us are scrambling to stay afloat.

Gay Day: Just Another Commercial Interruption

2011-07-24T09:55:00.000-07:00

Gay Day is now a thing of the past, and we’ve managed, once again to prove that we can all come together. Something the rest of the world has had problems with since the beginning of time. The Queens spit polish their tiaras, the dykes spit shine their boots and their bikes, we work on our outfits and make dresses out of condoms, paper plates and water bottles. We dust the world with glitter, and revel in who we really are. The sky’s the limit, we’re queer, we’re here and dahling, we’re Fabulous!
Gay Pride is not only a celebration of our existence, it’s a display of solidarity as well as a visual reminder of our very own diversity as a community. We’re construction workers, doctors, lawyers, baristas, teachers, nurses and social workers. We’re artists and bankers, designated by corporate America as a substantial source of revenue. This recognition has its ups and downs.
The economy is in shambles, because corporate America has a death grip on the nation’s cash and assets. It’s gonna take a suicide bomber to pry their greedy little fingers loose. The economy is in shambles because of this country’s arrogant attitude towards other nations and the political choices they’ve made. According to the U.S. everyone, apparently, needs to structure their government after ours and if they don’t see it like that, we have ways to change their minds. We’ll invade their country, bomb their national monuments and kill anyone that gets in our way. Saving the world from itself is a very expensive proposition, and who better to set themselves up as a role model than America, a country in ruin.
Corporate America is now substantially represented in every Gay Day Parade in America. It’s one big commercial interruption after another. But the worst thing is they’re not even trying to entertain us, or in any way enhance our viewing pleasure. Instead, they’re filling our parades with lack luster displays of capitalism. Just say NO to branded vehicles blasting club music. If they’re gonna insist on being there, let’s insist on them getting with the program. Let’s use them instead of rolling over and letting them walk all over us in the name of sponsorship. If they want to play, make them pay.
I have not gotten a response from the Pride organizers, so I’m not clear on what they’re currently paying, but in my opinion that kind of advertising is worth a lot. If Amerian Airlines, Microsoft, Redbull, etc. each paid $10,000 dollars we’d have some money to work with to revive that old art form known as the float. If $3000.00 of every 10,000 went to various queer groups with artists and activists who wanted to design and create a float the parade could, once again, become a vision of lovliness, an extravagant display of our creativity as a community, another enthralling and exhilarating queer moment in time.