Lambing Biro Haplos

Health Benefits of Laughter

2012-09-09T12:31:00.000-04:00

5 Health Reasons to Make Time for Cuddling

2012-08-07T23:35:00.001-04:00

Snuggle up with your main squeeze--and not just for sweetness sake.

By Ysolt Usigan

Source website: http://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/5-health-reasons-make-time-cuddling

Image taken from: http://www.mywedding.com/blog/wp-content/gallery/christina-jc/bride-groom-cuddling-outdoor-sofa.jpg

Next time your guy gets on your case about cuddle time—he says he's too hot, needs his space, doesn't feel like relaxing—present the evidence. Research suggests that there's more to cuddling than meets the eye. Lovey-dovey'ness aside, the health benefits of cuddling will surely convince him to make time for it.

Reason 1: It Feels Good

Cuddling releases oxytocin, which is also known as the feel-good hormone. "It increases overall happiness," says psychologist, physical therapist, and author of bestseller A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness Elizabeth Lombardo.

"Cuddling, holding, and sexual play releases chemicals, like oxytocin, in the brain that create a sense of well-being and happiness," says Dr. Renee Horowitz, an ob-gyn who recently opened the Center for Sexual Wellness in Farmington Hills, Michigan.

Cuddling can also release endorphins, which is the chemical released after a good workout or when you eat chocolate, Horowitz adds, which contributes to that great feeling.

Reason 2: It Makes You Feel Sexy The most obvious benefit to cuddling is getting close to your partner in the physical sense. Cuddling can lead to fun sexy time or relaxing and loving time post sexual intercourse, but there's also a chemical plus.

"There is also the release of dopamine, which is an excitatory hormone that increases sexual desire," Horowitz says. Plus, studies show that sex is healthy for fitness and mental reasons, too. So it's a win-win.

Reason 3: It Reduces Stress and Blood Pressure Stress management coach and holistic therapist Catherine A. Connors reminds how physical contact with others can help to reduce stress. "Hugging, kissing, or more physical acts of touch increases oxytocin levels, which is a 'bonding' hormone—this chemical reaction can help to reduce blood pressure, which in turn reduces the risk of heart disease, but it can also help to reduce stress and anxiety," Connors says.

Reason 4: It Bonds Women with Babies and Partners According to Dr. Fran Walfish, celebrity doctor and author, cuddling is healthy for people because of the obvious factor of emotional attachment. "Oxytocin is a neuropeptide that is closely linked to childbirth and breastfeeding, and a recent study shows that it has a biological role in bonding between mother and baby," she says. "The study, led by Lane Strathearn, an assistant professor of pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine, shows that women raised with insecure attachment themselves are more likely to have difficulty forming secure attachments with their children (and partners)."

It's healthy to want to be close. "Too little or too much is not good. Observe and explore your own personal comfort zone. You will be a better communicator with your partner on how much feels good and when it gets too close for comfort," Walfish says. "Your goal is to find a balance between your comfort zone and needs along with your partner's.

Reason 5: It Helps You Communicate Better According to David Klow, a marriage and family therapist in Chicago who works with many couples on how to improve intimacy in their lives, reminds us of one great benefit of cuddling and non-erotic physical touch. Most couples in marital therapy complain about communication issues, Klow says. "Most people want to feel understood, and communication is the vehicle by which they transmit understanding and empathy. Non-verbal communication can be a very powerful way to say to your partner, ‘I get you,'" he says. "Cuddling is a way of saying, ‘I know how you feel.' It allows us to feel known by our partner in ways that words can't convey."

Klow suggests thinking of cuddling as a form of communication that can help couples have a more rich relationship.

Just For Laughs Gags Best of 2012 Part 1

2012-07-17T08:17:00.000-04:00

Body Language—Explained (Part 2)

2012-06-13T09:59:00.001-04:00

By Woman's Day | Healthy Living – Thu, Feb 2, 2012 12:13 PM EST

Written by: Annie Finnigan

Article Source: http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/body-language-8212-explained-171300153.html

TUNING IN TO BODY TALK

While the face reveals key clues, the body fills in the rest of the story. The starting point? The feet. "They're the most honest part of the body and really let you know how someone feels about you," says Navarro. Whether you're sitting or standing, if a person's feet are pointed toward you, that's a signal that she enjoys your company and wants to stick around. But if her feet are angled away from you, odds are she'd rather be somewhere else.

As for the rest of the body, keep in mind that some gestures don't necessarily mean what you think they do. Take crossed arms. For years, we've been told that's a clear sign of defensiveness. "But it's not if the person's arms are lightly folded across her chest rather than tightly," says Navarro. She may simply not know what to do with her arms. "However, most people cross them for self-comfort-they're giving themselves a hug, in effect," he explains.

But some body moves are indeed signs of negativity. If you notice a person's hand balled into a fist with the thumb inside while he's staring down, he's feeling defensive. "Or if your husband turns his belly away from you, even if he's still looking your way," says Navarro, "he's letting you know that he doesn't like what you just said."

SEND THE RIGHT MESSAGE
When it comes to your own body language, don't worry about trying to fine-tune your every movement. "Behavior patterns associated with temperament or personality are at least 50% genetically determined, and are difficult to change," explains Dr. Mehrabian. Say you're naturally high-strung. Getting your body language to read calm and cool may be tough. "But you can learn to change some of the nonverbal cues you send out," he adds.

And it's well worth the effort. "We have 4 to 8 seconds to make a good first impression," says Navarro. "The goal in that short amount of time should be to create psychological comfort." In fact, a 2011 University of California, Berkeley, study found that people determine within seconds if someone is trustworthy, kind or compassionate based on how often he or she makes eye contact, smiles, nods while listening, and displays an open body posture.

So fine-tune where you can. An easy place to start: mirroring. For instance, take a beat to assess someone's handshake and match it, using the same strength or gentleness as the other person. Other ways to put people at ease: Pay attention to your proximity and posture. In one-on-one situations, stand or sit at a slight angle to the person, but not too close. "Research shows that people feel more comfortable when you position yourself this way because it's a less confrontational posture," says Navarro. Make eye contact, too, but don't stare. And pay attention to what the other person's eyes are doing: Are they slightly lowered? Does she hold your gaze briefly or for several seconds before looking away? Match your look to hers, as you would with a handshake. With these few tweaks, you'll make a good impression without saying a word.

Image source:
http://www.skillsconverged.com/Portals/5/CourseMaterial/BodyLanguage_StandingGirl.jpg

Body Language—Explained (Part 1)

2012-06-06T06:36:00.000-04:00

By Woman's Day | Healthy Living – Thu, Feb 2, 2012 12:13 PM EST

Written by: Annie Finnigan

Article Source: http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/body-language-8212-explained-171300153.html

Can't figure someone out? Then you're probably not tuning in to her body language. We all speak without saying a word-you just need to know what to look for.

Have you ever been talking to someone when suddenly she crosses her arms? In that moment, the whole vibe of your conversation shifts. You start to feel a little defensive because you think that's how she's feeling. But are you reading her right, or just jumping to conclusions? The truth is, if you misread people's body language-or worse, don't pick up on it at all-you're missing more than you think.

"Up to 80% of what we communicate is nonverbal," says Joe Navarro, a former FBI agent turned nonverbal communication expert and author of What Every Body Is Saying. That means every gesture, look, mouth twitch, eyebrow raise, even the way we stand sends a message. No wonder researchers have been studying the science of body language for decades-and what they've found can help you communicate more effectively.

We relate to people in three ways: verbally (with words), vocally (tone of voice), and visually (body language), says Albert Mehrabian, PhD, emeritus professor of psychology at UCLA and author of Silent Messages. But the three V's don't always line up. Think about someone who tries to put a good face on during a difficult time in her life. She may tell you she's doing fine, but she frowns a bit when she says it. That's why body language matters so much: It tells the truth, even when our words lie, according to Dr. Mehrabian. "If there's an inconsistency between the verbal, vocal and visual, our words give off the least information," he says. "Our facial expressions play the greatest role."

The tricky part is noticing them in the first place. Of the thousands of facial expressions we make each day, some flash by so fast (in less than 1/25th of a second) that they barely have time to register, according to psychologist Paul Ekman, PhD, co-editor of What The Face Reveals, who pioneered research on these fleeting involuntary shows of emotion, which he dubbed micro expressions. But if you keep an eye out, over time you'll start to catch some of these blink-and-you'll-miss-it moments.

FACE FACTS
How do you learn to pick up on telltale facial expressions? Start by doing what national poker champion Annie Duke does: Constantly study people's faces. "Poker players are good at hiding nonverbal cues," she says. "But I always watch them very closely, and if I see them blinking fast, licking their lips or flashing a quick grimace before they smile, chances are they're bluffing."
You can catch even the most fleeting facial "tell," but it takes a lot of practice, says John Gottman, PhD, emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Washington and cofounder of The Gottman Institute, who has studied body language in his research on marriage and relationships. The key? Watch the mouth. "That's where most of our nonverbal information comes from," he explains. Say a waitress twitches her lip to one side when you order an inexpensive dish instead of a pricey one: It's a sign of contempt because she knows she'll be getting less of a tip. Or say you give a pal a gift she doesn't like. She may smile, but her lips will be the only thing on her face to move. If it were a genuine smile, her eyes would crinkle at the corners and the apples of her cheeks would lift, too. And take wide eyes: While they can convey surprise or fear, the mouth is the real determining factor that helps you tell the difference. The mouth drops open when we're surprised, but pulls back when we're scared.

Image Sources:
http://aawhot.pbworks.com/f/1299406646/body_language%20crossed%20arms.jpg http://www.mysahana.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/body-language.jpg

Silence of Love

2012-05-15T08:38:00.002-04:00

Filipino Humor: “How Smart a Filipino Is!”

2012-05-07T14:29:00.000-04:00

A Filipino and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun-game.

The Filipino, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don`t know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa."

Again, the Filipino declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don`t know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don`t know the answer, I`ll pay you $500."

This gets the Filipino`s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game. The American asks the first question, "What`s the distance from the earth to the moon?" The Filipino doesn`t say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "Your turn." So the Filipino asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs? The American thinks about it. No answer. Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer! He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers. Checks the input. All to no avail! Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Filipino and hands him $500. The Filipino thanks him and turns back to get his sleep. The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Filipino and asks, "well, what`s the answer?"

Without a word, the Filipino reaches into his wallet, hands the American $5, and goes back to sleep!

Sources
Article taken from
http://www.filipinovillage.com/jokes.asp

Image taken from
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-J6YN92Mspqw/Tig5QZigrlI/AAAAAAAAAAw/04pm2OCS6BI/s1600/laugh-5.gif

Humour in Parenting is Fun and Beneficial

2012-05-01T12:45:00.000-04:00

Article source: http://canadianimmigrant.ca/family/humour-in-parenting-is-fun-and-beneficial

Written by: By Cheryl Song
April 24, 2012

It is often said that laughter is the best medicine. Just how important is humour? Studies have shown that having a good sense of humour is very important in all aspects of life, for people of all ages. And that includes parents!

Importance of humour
Having a sense of humour is beneficial in many aspects of life, including:

•Emotional: humour can be used as a coping mechanism, as a way to help reduce stress and frustration, diffuse anger, deal with loss or grieve difficult situations.

•Physiological: laughter can improve your health by strengthening your immune system, relax your body and minimize pain.

•Social: humour is a vital social function; it can bring people together, strengthen bonds and relationships, enhance teamwork and improve productivity.

Lighter side of parenting
Recognizing all these benefits, demonstrate to children the importance of not taking life too seriously and seeing the lighter side of things. Healthy humour can be learned at any stage of life and can easily be incorporated into everyday life. The best place to start is to learn from our children. Studies have shown that children laugh an average of 300 times a day, while adults only laugh on average of 15 times a day. Try to see the humour our children see. Be your child’s best audience by taking the time to listen to their jokes and respond to them. Having a good sense of humour still requires parents to take parenting responsibilities seriously, of course. There are times to be serious for guiding and discipline, and times to be funny. When used appropriately, humour allows parents to view and tackle parenting issues in more creative and effective ways.

Also, be mindful of the appropriateness of humour by avoiding content that disrespects, excludes or rejects others. In other words, humour should not be made at the expense of someone else. Whether they are jokes, sarcasm or mockery, explain to children about the use of different types of humour. Emphasize the importance of laughing with people, and not at them. Surround yourself with people, memories and memorabilia that make you smile or laugh. Jokes, games, movies, songs, stories and pretend play are all wonderful ways to incorporate humour in our lives. Make healthy humour an essential part of your life. We all laugh in the same language, so what better way to connect with our families and others than through laughter. It is free, fun, readily available and, most importantly, good for us.

Source for the image used above:

http://parenting-styles.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/sensibleparentingtips.jpg

ENVIRONMENT - Human Touch, Culture, Violence, Crime - ZMF

2012-04-22T10:22:00.002-04:00

Evidence That Little Touches Do Mean So Much

2012-04-18T09:28:00.002-04:00

By BENEDICT CAREY

Published: February 22, 2010

Source:http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/23/health/23mind.html?_r=2&ref=global-home

Psychologists have long studied the grunts and winks of nonverbal communication, the vocal tones and facial expressions that carry emotion. A warm tone of voice, a hostile stare — both have the same meaning in Terre Haute or Timbuktu, and are among dozens of signals that form a universal human vocabulary.

But in recent years some researchers have begun to focus on a different, often more subtle kind of wordless communication: physical contact. Momentary touches, they say — whether an exuberant high five, a warm hand on the shoulder, or a creepy touch to the arm — can communicate an even wider range of emotion than gestures or expressions, and sometimes do so more quickly and accurately than words

“It is the first language we learn,” said Dacher Keltner, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, and the author of “Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life” (Norton, 2009), and remains, he said, “our richest means of emotional expression” throughout life.

The evidence that such messages can lead to clear, almost immediate changes in how people think and behave is accumulating fast. Students who received a supportive touch on the back or arm from a teacher were nearly twice as likely to volunteer in class as those who did not, studies have found. A sympathetic touch from a doctor leaves people with the impression that the visit lasted twice as long, compared with estimates from people who were untouched. Research by Tiffany Field of the Touch Research Institute in Miami has found that a massage from a loved one can not only ease pain but also soothe depression and strengthen a relationship.

In a series of experiments led by Matthew Hertenstein, a psychologist at DePauw University in Indiana, volunteers tried to communicate a list of emotions by touching a blindfolded stranger. The participants were able to communicate eight distinct emotions, from gratitude to disgust to love, some with about 70 percent accuracy.

“We used to think that touch only served to intensify communicated emotions,” Dr. Hertenstein said. Now it turns out to be “a much more differentiated signaling system than we had imagined.”

To see whether a rich vocabulary of supportive touch is in fact related to performance, scientists at Berkeley recently analyzed interactions in one of the most physically expressive arenas on earth: professional basketball. Michael W. Kraus led a research team that coded every bump, hug and high five in a single game played by each team in the National Basketball Association early last season.

In a paper due out this year in the journal Emotion, Mr. Kraus and his co-authors, Cassy Huang and Dr. Keltner, report that with a few exceptions, good teams tended to be touchier than bad ones. The most touch-bonded teams were the Boston Celtics and the Los Angeles Lakers, currently two of the league’s top teams; at the bottom were the mediocre Sacramento Kings and Charlotte Bobcats.
The same was true, more or less, for players. The touchiest player was Kevin Garnett, the Celtics’ star big man, followed by star forwards Chris Bosh of the Toronto Raptors and Carlos Boozer of the Utah Jazz. “Within 600 milliseconds of shooting a free throw, Garnett has reached out and touched four guys,” Dr. Keltner said.

To correct for the possibility that the better teams touch more often simply because they are winning, the researchers rated performance based not on points or victories but on a sophisticated measure of how efficiently players and teams managed the ball — their ratio of assists to giveaways, for example. And even after the high expectations surrounding the more talented teams were taken into account, the correlation persisted. Players who made contact with teammates most consistently and longest tended to rate highest on measures of performance, and the teams with those players seemed to get the most out of their talent.

The study fell short of showing that touch caused the better performance, Dr. Kraus acknowledged. “We still have to test this in a controlled lab environment,” he said.

If a high five or an equivalent can in fact enhance performance, on the field or in the office, that may be because it reduces stress. A warm touch seems to set off the release of oxytocin, a hormone that helps create a sensation of trust, and to reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

In the brain, prefrontal areas, which help regulate emotion, can relax, freeing them for another of their primary purposes: problem solving. In effect, the body interprets a supportive touch as “I’ll share the load.”

“We think that humans build relationships precisely for this reason, to distribute problem solving across brains,” said James A. Coan, a a psychologist at the University of Virginia. “We are wired to literally share the processing load, and this is the signal we’re getting when we receive support through touch.”

The same is certainly true of partnerships, and especially the romantic kind, psychologists say. In a recent experiment, researchers led by Christopher Oveis of Harvard conducted five-minute interviews with 69 couples, prompting each pair to discuss difficult periods in their relationship.

The investigators scored the frequency and length of touching that each couple, seated side by side, engaged in. In an interview, Dr. Oveis said that the results were preliminary.

“But it looks so far like the couples who touch more are reporting more satisfaction in the relationship,” he said.

Again, it’s not clear which came first, the touching or the satisfaction. But in romantic relationships, one has been known to lead to the other. Or at least, so the anecdotal evidence suggests.

A version of this article appeared in print on February 23, 2010, on page D5 of the New York edition with the headline: Evidence That Little Touches Do Mean So Much.

Images taken from:

http://ready4life.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/young_couple.jpg

http://www.myhousecallmd.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/paul_pierce_and_kevin_garnett-6705.jpg

Have a Meaningful and Blessed Lent to Everyone!

2012-04-03T22:11:00.002-04:00

What's Wrong With the Teenage Mind? (Part 2)

2012-03-04T07:59:00.003-05:00

By ALISON GOPNIK

Article taken from: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203806504577181351486558984.html

In the distant (and even the not-so-distant) historical past, these systems of motivation and control were largely in sync. In gatherer-hunter and farming societies, childhood education involves formal and informal apprenticeship. Children have lots of chances to practice the skills that they need to accomplish their goals as adults, and so to become expert planners and actors. The cultural psychologist Barbara Rogoff studied this kind of informal education in a Guatemalan Indian society, where she found that apprenticeship allowed even young children to become adept at difficult and dangerous tasks like using a machete.
In the past, to become a good gatherer or hunter, cook or caregiver, you would actually practice gathering, hunting, cooking and taking care of children all through middle childhood and early adolescence—tuning up just the prefrontal wiring you'd need as an adult. But you'd do all that under expert adult supervision and in the protected world of childhood, where the impact of your inevitable failures would be blunted. When the motivational juice of puberty arrived, you'd be ready to go after the real rewards, in the world outside, with new intensity and exuberance, but you'd also have the skill and control to do it effectively and reasonably safely.

In contemporary life, the relationship between these two systems has changed dramatically. Puberty arrives earlier, and the motivational system kicks in earlier too.

At the same time, contemporary children have very little experience with the kinds of tasks that they'll have to perform as grown-ups. Children have increasingly little chance to practice even basic skills like cooking and caregiving. Contemporary adolescents and pre-adolescents often don't do much of anything except go to school. Even the paper route and the baby-sitting job have largely disappeared.

The experience of trying to achieve a real goal in real time in the real world is increasingly delayed, and the growth of the control system depends on just those experiences. The pediatrician and developmental psychologist Ronald Dahl at the University of California, Berkeley, has a good metaphor for the result: Today's adolescents develop an accelerator a long time before they can steer and brake.

This doesn't mean that adolescents are stupider than they used to be. In many ways, they are much smarter. An ever longer protected period of immaturity and dependence—a childhood that extends through college—means that young humans can learn more than ever before. There is strong evidence that IQ has increased dramatically as more children spend more time in school, and there is even some evidence that higher IQ is correlated with delayed frontal lobe development.

All that school means that children know more about more different subjects than they ever did in the days of apprenticeships. Becoming a really expert cook doesn't tell you about the nature of heat or the chemical composition of salt—the sorts of things you learn in school.

But there are different ways of being smart. Knowing physics and chemistry is no help with a soufflé. Wide-ranging, flexible and broad learning, the kind we encourage in high-school and college, may actually be in tension with the ability to develop finely-honed, controlled, focused expertise in a particular skill, the kind of learning that once routinely took place in human societies. For most of our history, children have started their internships when they were seven, not 27.

The old have always complained about the young, of course. But this new explanation based on developmental timing elegantly accounts for the paradoxes of our particular crop of adolescents.

There do seem to be many young adults who are enormously smart and knowledgeable but directionless, who are enthusiastic and exuberant but unable to commit to a particular kind of work or a particular love until well into their 20s or 30s. And there is the graver case of children who are faced with the uncompromising reality of the drive for sex, power and respect, without the expertise and impulse control it takes to ward off unwanted pregnancy or violence.
This new explanation also illustrates two really important and often overlooked facts about the mind and brain. First, experience shapes the brain. People often think that if some ability is located in a particular part of the brain, that must mean that it's "hard-wired" and inflexible. But, in fact, the brain is so powerful precisely because it is so sensitive to experience. It's as true to say that our experience of controlling our impulses make the prefrontal cortex develop as it is to say that prefrontal development makes us better at controlling our impulses. Our social and cultural life shapes our biology.

Second, development plays a crucial role in explaining human nature. The old "evolutionary psychology" picture was that genes were directly responsible for some particular pattern of adult behavior—a "module." In fact, there is more and more evidence that genes are just the first step in complex developmental sequences, cascades of interactions between organism and environment, and that those developmental processes shape the adult brain. Even small changes in developmental timing can lead to big changes in who we become.

Fortunately, these characteristics of the brain mean that dealing with modern adolescence is not as hopeless as it might sound. Though we aren't likely to return to an agricultural life or to stop feeding our children well and sending them to school, the very flexibility of the developing brain points to solutions.

Brain research is often taken to mean that adolescents are really just defective adults—grown-ups with a missing part. Public policy debates about teenagers thus often turn on the question of when, exactly, certain areas of the brain develop, and so at what age children should be allowed to drive or marry or vote—or be held fully responsible for crimes. But the new view of the adolescent brain isn't that the prefrontal lobes just fail to show up; it's that they aren't properly instructed and exercised.

Simply increasing the driving age by a year or two doesn't have much influence on the accident rate, for example. What does make a difference is having a graduated system in which teenagers slowly acquire both more skill and more freedom—a driving apprenticeship.

Instead of simply giving adolescents more and more school experiences—those extra hours of after-school classes and homework—we could try to arrange more opportunities for apprenticeship. AmeriCorps, the federal community-service program for youth, is an excellent example, since it provides both challenging real-life experiences and a degree of protection and supervision.

"Take your child to work" could become a routine practice rather than a single-day annual event, and college students could spend more time watching and helping scientists and scholars at work rather than just listening to their lectures. Summer enrichment activities like camp and travel, now so common for children whose parents have means, might be usefully alternated with summer jobs, with real responsibilities.

The good news, in short, is that we don't have to just accept the developmental patterns of adolescent brains. We can actually shape and change them.

Image Source

Images used above not owned by this blog and was taken from the following websites:
http://onlinemedicinetips.com/images/Puberty-And-Adolescence.jpg
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203806504577181351486558984.html
http://www.5stardrivingschool.net/images/AYP0203195.jpg

What's Wrong With the Teenage Mind? (Part 1)

2012-02-12T07:55:00.003-05:00

Children today reach puberty earlier and adulthood later. The result: A lot of teenage weirdness. Alison Gopnik on how we might readjust adolescence.

By ALISON GOPNIK

Article taken from: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203806504577181351486558984.html

"What was he thinking?" It's the familiar cry of bewildered parents trying to understand why their teenagers act the way they do.

How does the boy who can thoughtfully explain the reasons never to drink and drive end up in a drunken crash? Why does the girl who knows all about birth control find herself pregnant by a boy she doesn't even like? What happened to the gifted, imaginative child who excelled through high school but then dropped out of college, drifted from job to job and now lives in his parents' basement?

Adolescence has always been troubled, but for reasons that are somewhat mysterious, puberty is now kicking in at an earlier and earlier age. A leading theory points to changes in energy balance as children eat more and move less.

At the same time, first with the industrial revolution and then even more dramatically with the information revolution, children have come to take on adult roles later and later. Five hundred years ago, Shakespeare knew that the emotionally intense combination of teenage sexuality and peer-induced risk could be tragic—witness "Romeo and Juliet." But, on the other hand, if not for fate, 13-year-old Juliet would have become a wife and mother within a year or two.

Our Juliets (as parents longing for grandchildren will recognize with a sigh) may experience the tumult of love for 20 years before they settle down into motherhood. And our Romeos may be poetic lunatics under the influence of Queen Mab until they are well into graduate school.

What happens when children reach puberty earlier and adulthood later? The answer is: a good deal of teenage weirdness. Fortunately, developmental psychologists and neuroscientists are starting to explain the foundations of that weirdness.

The crucial new idea is that there are two different neural and psychological systems that interact to turn children into adults. Over the past two centuries, and even more over the past generation, the developmental timing of these two systems has changed. That, in turn, has profoundly changed adolescence and produced new kinds of adolescent woe. The big question for anyone who deals with young people today is how we can go about bringing these cogs of the teenage mind into sync once again.

The first of these systems has to do with emotion and motivation. It is very closely linked to the biological and chemical changes of puberty and involves the areas of the brain that respond to rewards. This is the system that turns placid 10-year-olds into restless, exuberant, emotionally intense teenagers, desperate to attain every goal, fulfill every desire and experience every sensation. Later, it turns them back into relatively placid adults.

Recent studies in the neuroscientist B.J. Casey's lab at Cornell University suggest that adolescents aren't reckless because they underestimate risks, but because they overestimate rewards—or, rather, find rewards more rewarding than adults do. The reward centers of the adolescent brain are much more active than those of either children or adults. Think about the incomparable intensity of first love, the never-to-be-recaptured glory of the high-school basketball championship.

What teenagers want most of all are social rewards, especially the respect of their peers. In a recent study by the developmental psychologist Laurence Steinberg at Temple University, teenagers did a simulated high-risk driving task while they were lying in an fMRI brain-imaging machine. The reward system of their brains lighted up much more when they thought another teenager was watching what they did—and they took more risks.

From an evolutionary point of view, this all makes perfect sense. One of the most distinctive evolutionary features of human beings is our unusually long, protected childhood. Human children depend on adults for much longer than those of any other primate. That long protected period also allows us to learn much more than any other animal. But eventually, we have to leave the safe bubble of family life, take what we learned as children and apply it to the real adult world.

Becoming an adult means leaving the world of your parents and starting to make your way toward the future that you will share with your peers. Puberty not only turns on the motivational and emotional system with new force, it also turns it away from the family and toward the world of equals.

The second crucial system in our brains has to do with control; it channels and harnesses all that seething energy. In particular, the prefrontal cortex reaches out to guide other parts of the brain, including the parts that govern motivation and emotion. This is the system that inhibits impulses and guides decision-making, that encourages long-term planning and delays gratification.

This control system depends much more on learning. It becomes increasingly effective throughout childhood and continues to develop during adolescence and adulthood, as we gain more experience. You come to make better decisions by making not-so-good decisions and then correcting them. You get to be a good planner by making plans, implementing them and seeing the results again and again. Expertise comes with experience. As the old joke has it, the answer to the tourist's question "How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" is "Practice, practice, practice."

Images taken from:
http://cf.ltkcdn.net/teens/images/std/68293-280x425-Teen_Male_Model.jpg
http://guestofaguest.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/img_2069.jpg
http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/1830/PreviewComp/SuperStock_1830-33147.jpg

Disaster’s deeper wounds invisible

2012-01-22T07:39:00.000-05:00

By Ryan D. Rosauro
January 14, 2012
Inquirer Mindanao
Source:http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/128035/disasters-deeper-wounds-invisible

As three mascots entered the gymnasium of Iligan City East Central School on Wednesday afternoon, school children stood in jubilation.

The din of laughter and happiness belie the tragedy most of them survived more than three weeks earlier when rampaging floodwaters as tall as their houses engulfed their communities.

But many others may not be as jovial as the children. Last week, a flood survivor in Cagayan de Oro took his life, believed to be because of depression.

A week after the floods, the United Nations Office for Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (Ocha) sounded off the need for mental care services for flood survivors.

So far, such services have reached some 6,000 people in Cagayan de Oro and Iligan based on the Jan. 10 situation report of the National Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Council (NDRRMC).

Dr. Eric Talens, of the Philippine General Hospital and part of a 22-member University of the Philippines mission sent to Iligan days after the tragedy last December, also said they saw signs of posttraumatic stress disorder among the flood survivors.

So, how should one go on after a disaster as enormous as that which struck the two Northern Mindanao cities in the early hours of Dec. 17?

The question is not easy to answer. For most of over 120,000 families, accounting for 1.14 million people, throughout provinces that had taken the brunt of floods, mudslides and landslides on that day, the disaster completely altered their lives.

This is especially true for those in Iligan and Cagayan de Oro where the damage and destruction from the disaster were concentrated.

NDRRMC said some P1.4 billion in infrastructure and crops were wiped out by the flash floods. A total of 51,721 houses were either damaged or destroyed.

Until today, some 80,025 families or 429,309 people are dependent on humanitarian aid for daily survival.

Perception

Instead of happy reunions during the holidays, the disaster brought anxious goodbyes and moments of grief and mourning.

Yet, the answer to the hard question may be hidden in each of the persons whose lives Tropical Storm “Sendong” radically overturned.

“The key is in the way we perceive the incident which, in turn, influences our actions and decisions,” said Tina Lomoljo, executive director of nongovernment organization Balay Integrated Rehabilitation for Total Human Development Inc. which lost its office to the floods.

Lomoljo, whose organization is part of the Mindanao Emergency Relief Network (MERN), has organized at least three teams of volunteers to help provide psychosocial support services to the survivors in Iligan where more than 91,000 people were affected by the flood, over 23,000 of whom still stay at the evacuation centers.

Because of the massive demand for psychosocial support, MERN has partnered with another nongovernment group, Balay Rehabilitation Center, raising the number of volunteers to 31.

Some other groups like Balsa Mindanao and Ginhawa conduct play and art therapy sessions among children.

Age groups

Lomoljo said they categorize recipients of psychosocial care into age groups: below 5 years old, 5 to 6, 7 to 8, 9 to 10, 11 to 12, 13 to 17, and adults.

She added that this categorization is based on age-specific attributes like being at the developmental stage, the demonstration of evolving capacities, and the propensity to lean on peers.

On Wednesday morning, teachers at Iligan City Central School picked from among their Grade 1 pupils for a one-hour psychosocial support session that began with a game.

The children sing and act together with the facilitators and at a cue, chose a partner to whom they would introduce themselves.

From simply exchanging names, the task continues: asking where one lives to one’s favorite food. Initially, facilitators patiently help out the shy ones in order to encourage them to speak up. But they eventually came out of their shells.

Rising sun

Next, they were asked to portray in a bond paper, using crayons and pencils, what they can remember on the day the disaster struck. Many drew floating houses, drowning people, dark sky.
One stood out among them: A drawing of a rising sun.

In the process of doing their illustrations, the children noisily exchanged tales among each other about how they escaped the tragedy.

After a few minutes, some expressed sadness about lost toys and school things, and house appliances like a television set.

According to Lomoljo, it is best for people to open up and pour out their feelings about these tragic experiences in a group so that they feel there are other people apart from themselves that they can turn to for comfort and listening ears.

Trevor Clark, of the United Nations Children’s Fund, said the act of sharing experiences helps restore people’s ability to express themselves which is a necessary step toward coming to terms with a terrible incident.

After the game, children squat on a 10-square meter tarpaulin for a chat about their common tragic experience.

Anxiety with rain

When asked whether they sleep well at night, many children said they still experience dreaming of floating houses.

Most of them also said they are anxious when it rains.

“I will continue praying that God would not let the flood happen again,” said one child.

Daphne Macatimbol, a MERN facilitator, said in the process of conducting the sessions, they spot participants whom they think need “more intense attention” so that they can be subjected to follow through interventions.

Lomoljo said in such cases, they can be visited in their homes or temporary shelters, or referred to psychologists for professional attention.

But as in all tragic stories, there are accompanying comedies like the the tale of a 5-year-old child from Bayug Island whose family now stays at the Iligan tent city.

At the height of the flood, the child’s family climbed an acacia tree through the roof of their house which floated toward it. While clinging to a branch, the child prayed that “God would stop the rise of the water” because he didn’t want to get wet.

He also promised to his grandma he will not urinate because that can add to the water’s rise.

Resolve

Aside from coming to terms with the tragedy, Lomoljo said survivors need to be helped to “account for what they still have and be thankful for after everything has happened” so that they can overcome helplessness.

Among the children, Lomoljo cited the need to restore their opportunities for play for them to get over the tragedy fast.

This is why MERN has actively advocated for the allocation of “child spaces” in evacuation centers, or developing these in the new communities where the survivors are currently staying.
Ocha estimated that there are some 123,3000 affected school children aged 3-15 years in Cagayan de Oro and Iligan cities alone.

From doing sessions in the evacuation centers, Lomoljo said they will soon be reaching out to survivors who chose to remain in their shattered communities.

She emphasized that the sessions must continue even as the survivors are already relocated to permanent housing units.

“The true essence of rebuilding their lives is in coming to terms with the tragedy and having a resolve to move forward,” Lomoljo explained.

Asked how his family is getting along their new life at the tent city, Danilo Verano said: “We have no choice but to start from scratch. At least we are alive.”

Maybe, this was what one child meant when, during a psychosocial session, she sketched a rising sun.

Other sources
Images are taken from the websites below:
http://media.monstersandcritics.com/galleries/3353950_12051/0303919655085.jpg
http://blogs.oxfam.org/sites/blogs.oxfam.org/files/Philippines-Floods-2011-02.jpg
http://www.worldweatherpost.com/wp-content/uploads/timthumb.php?src=http://www.worldweatherpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/201201101107210758.jpg&q=100&w=570&h=320
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/12/18/article-2075439-0F36733F00000578-32_634x383.jpg

Tampuhan

2012-01-08T08:12:00.000-05:00

The Tagalog term tampo has no English equivalent. Magtampo is usually translated as 'to sulk', but it does not quite mean that. 'Sulk' seems to have a negative meaning which is not expressed in magtampo. It is a way of withdrawing, of expressing hurt feelings in a culture where outright expression of anger is discouraged. For example, if a child who feels hurt or neglected may show tampo by withdrawing from the group, refusing to eat, and resisting expressions of affection such as touching or kissing by the members of the family. A woman may also show tampo if she feels jealous or neglected by her beloved. Tampuhan is basically a lovers' quarrel, often manifested in total silent treatment or not speaking to each other.
The person who is nagtatampo expects to be aamuin or cajoled out of the feeling of being unhappy or left out. Parents usually let a child give way to tampo before he/she is cajoled to stop feeling hurt.

Usually, tampo in Filipino culture is manifested in non-verbal ways, such as not talking to other people, keeping to one's self, being unusually quiet, not joining friends in group activities, not joining family outing, or simply locking one's self in his or her room.

Sources

Article and image taken from:

http://www.pinoytumblr.com/post/2976662143/tampuhan-by-juan-luna-the-tagalog-term

Maligayang Pasko!

2011-12-23T09:21:00.002-05:00

Help Rebuild Cagayan De Oro

2011-12-18T07:39:00.001-05:00

Ligawan (Courtship in Philippine Culture)

2011-12-11T07:07:00.001-05:00

Panliligaw or ligawan are the Tagalog terms for courtship, which in some parts of the Tagalog-speaking regions is synonymous with pandidiga or digahan (from Spanish diga, 'to say, express'). Manliligaw is the one who courts a girl; nililigawan is the one who is being courted.

In Philippine culture, courtship is far more subdued and indirect unlike in some Western societies. A man who is interested in courting a woman has to be discreet and friendly at first, in order not to be seen as too presko or mayabang (aggressive or too presumptuous). Friendly dates are often the starting point, often with a group of other friends. Later, couples may go out on their own, but this is still to be done discreetly. If the couple has decided to come out in the open about their romance, they will tell their family and friends as well.

In the Philippines, if a man wants to be taken seriously by a woman, he has to visit the latter's family and introduce himself formally to the parents of the girl. It is rather inappropriate to court a woman and formalize the relationship without informing the parents of the girl. It is always expected that the guy must show his face to the girl's family. And if a guy wants to be acceptable to the girl's family, he has to give pasalubong (gifts) every time he drops by her family's house. It is said that in the Philippines, courting a Filipina means courting her family as well.

In courting a Filipina, the metaphor often used is that of playing baseball. The man is said to reach 'first base' if the girl accepts his proposal to go out on a date for the first time. Thereafter, going out on several dates is like reaching the second and third bases. A 'home-run' is one where the girl formally accepts the man's love, and they become magkasintahan (from sinta, love), a term for boyfriend-girlfriend.

During the old times and in the rural areas of the Philippines, Filipino men would make harana (serenade) the women at night and sing songs of love and affection. This is basically a Spanish influence. The man is usually accompanied by his close friends who provide moral support for the guy, apart from singing with him.

Filipino women are expected to be pakipot (playing hard to get) because it is seen as an appropriate behavior in a courtship dance. By being pakipot, the girl tells the man that he has to work hard to win her love. It is also one way by which the Filipina will be able to measure the sincerity of her admirer. Some courtships could last years before the woman accepts the man's love.
A traditional dalagang Pilipina (Filipinpa maiden) is someone who is mahinhin (modest, shy, with good upbringing, well-mannered) and does not show her admirer that she is also in love with him immediately. She is also not supposed to go out on a date with several men. The opposite of mahinhin is malandi (flirt), which is taboo in Filipino culture as far as courtship is concerned.

After a long courtship, if the couple later decide to get married, there is the Filipino tradition of pamamanhikan (from panik, to go up the stairs of the house), where the man and his parents visit the woman's family and ask for her parents blessings to marry their daughter. It is also an occasion for the parents of the woman to get to know the parents of the man.

During pamamanhikan, the man and his parents bring some pasalubong (gifts). It is also at this time that the wedding date is formally set, and the couple become engaged to get married.

Source

Article taken from:

http://www.seasite.niu.edu/Tagalog/love.htm

Images taken from:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3325/3410225843_54cb1d01fd.jpg

http://blog.gaiam.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/CutFlowersCROP.jpg

A Very Touching Video

2011-12-04T08:27:00.001-05:00

Tuksuhan

2011-12-01T07:29:00.000-05:00

The traditional dalagang Pilipina (Filipina maiden) is shy and secretive about her real feelings for a suitor and denies it even though she is really in love with the man.
Tuksuhan lang (just teasing) is the usual term associated with pairing off potential couples in Filipino culture. This is common among teenagers and young adults. It is a way of matching people who may have mutual admiration or affection for each other. It may end up in a romance or avoidance of each other if the situation becomes embarrassing for both individuals.

Tuksuhan (teasing--and a girl's reaction to it) is a means for 'feeling out' a woman's attitude about an admirer or suitor. If the denial is vehement and the girl starts avoiding the boy, then he gets the message that his desire to pursue her is hopeless. The advantage of this is that he does not get embarrassed because he has not started courting the girl in earnest. As in most Asian cultures, Filipinos avoid losing face. Basted (from English busted) is the Tagalog slang for someone who fails to reach 'first base' in courting a girl because she does not have any feelings for him to begin with.

However, if the girl 'encourages' her suitor (either by being nice to him or not getting angry with the 'teasers'), then the man can court in earnest and the tuksuhan eventually ends. The courtship then has entered a 'serious' stage, and the romance begins.

A man who is unable to express his affection to a woman (who may have the same feelings for him) is called a torpe (stupid), dungo (extremely shy), or simply duwag (coward). To call a man torpe means he does not know how to court a girl, is playing innocent, or does not know she also has an affection for him.

If a man is torpe, he needs a tulay (bridge)--anyone who is a mutual friend of him and the girl he loves--who then conveys to the girl his affection for her. It is also a way of 'testing the waters' so to speak. If the boy realizes that the girl does not have feelings for him, he will then not push through with the courtship, thus saving face.

Some guys are afraid of their love being turned down by the girl. In Tagalog, a guy whose love has been turned down by the girl is called sawi (romantically sad), basted (busted), or simply labless (loveless). Click here for Tagalog romantic phrases used in Filipino courtship.

Source

Article taken from:

http://www.seasite.niu.edu/Tagalog/love.htm

Image taken from:

http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users8/annemac/aroundlaoag/ligawan-sa-bintana--large-msg-1120451939-2.jpg

Things We Love About Being Pinay

2011-11-28T08:41:00.000-05:00

Article excerpt taken from http://www.maruism.com/tag/filipina/

We Pinays, we just love…

How we continually try to improve ourselves.
How we’re so effortlessly sexy.
How we’re so resilient and optimistic that can still wave and smile at a TV camera even after an earthquake or any calamity.
How Pinays can manipulate men without coming across as too crass or aggressive.
How we have so little body hair.
The way people from other countries rave about our year-round tan.
The way we have rhythm and can carry a tune.
That we’re just about the right size for any kind of height.
That we have so many other girl for different kinds of gripes.
How creative and artistic we are.
How we can get along with just about anybody.
Our killer smile.
How we can laugh during the most trying times.
How we can find a bargain in just about any city in the world!
How we’re so small we can fit all our girl friends in a car.
How we always smell nice.
How we have a sense of humor for every occasion.
How we do not deny ourselves of our right to assemble and eat.
What great company we are.
That we will die if we don’t take a bath everyday.
That we have just the right size boobs, butt, hips and waist.
That we always stand out and excel in any field.
That we’re so amazingly kuripot, it hurts.
How we can all sing, dance and cook—well!
How we absolutely love strange things like manggang hilaw, bagoong, aligue, and super-maasim na suka.
How, because we’re so used to making do, no matter how dire the conditions, we will always find a way.
How, no matter how poor we are magkamatayan na, we’ll still get manicures and pedicures and look fabulous.
How we’re so irresistible, we drive men of all nations insane.
How, once we put our minds to it, we can do and be whatever we want.

Mabuhay ang Pinay!

Images taken from:
http://www.iampinay.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/pinay.jpg
http://rlv.zcache.com/the_best_pinay_ever_apron-p154953773784836276q6wc_400.jpg

"Human Touch" is Necessary

2011-11-21T03:06:00.002-05:00

by: Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D

Two hundred years ago, a creature, looking somewhat human, was sighted running through the forests of Southern France. Out of curiosity, hunters brought it to Paris for further examination. Parisian scientists determined that it was indeed a human child of about eleven years of age who had lived alone in the wild for the last six years. They named him, "Victor." Victor ran, ate, drank, slept, and defecated much like an animal. He had no understanding of spoken speech and his own speech consisted of grunts and growls. Phillipe Pinel, the father of psychiatry, observed Victor and concluded that he was an incurable idiot. Pinel was wrong. A young physician by the name of Itard was much more on target. According to Itard, the boy was no idiot, he was simply deprived of human contact and therefore had no opportunity to learn behaviors and skills that we take for granted in a child.

Itard brought Victor home and spent five years laboring hard to teach him speaking, reading and writing. Victor learned to read, write, and understand simple words. However, in spite of living in the company of other human beings for 29 years after his capture, he never learned to socialize with others. Victor never made meaningful eye-contact with people and rarely paid attention when they talked to him. He related to others as if they were mere suppliers of his basic wants and needs. He never formed significant attachment with anyone. How unusual! Under normal circumstances, that is, if caring and loving adults are raising a baby, the baby comes to form strong attachment with the caregivers by the age of six to nine months.

Victor's story demonstrated to the world that genetic endowment and fulfillment of physical needs is not enough for a child to fully develop as a human being. Without human contact in the early formative years, Victor's physical, social, and emotional development was stunted for ever. Human contact is what makes us the human beings we are and sets us apart from other animals. By living in a human environment, we learn a highly developed and complex language, culture, thinking, and feelings. Presence of a stable, constant, and devoted caregiver is necessary in order for a child to develop love. Love can only develop if a child has formed a strong and unmistakable attachment to another human being, to his or her parent/s. This is what is called "infant-mother bonding." When a mother and a child are bonded, the child prefers the mother over all other human beings, constantly seeks contact with her, experiences significant joy in her company, and distress when even momentarily separated from her.

While the first two to three years are most important, it is the first few months of life which are critical for infant-mother bonding. There are physiological mechanisms in the first few moths after birth that strengthen infant-mother bonding. Some research suggests that Oxytocin, a hormone present in breast milk, helps in the formation of mother-infant bonding. Milk is just one element. The whole process of feeding, loving touch, gazing at the face, the eye-contact, voice, the smell of the mother's body and clothes, and many other elements of this physical closeness and touch help to strengthen the bonding.
In the absence of bonding and healthy attachment with an adult, a child may develop life-long emotional disturbances, becoming withdrawn, disinterested, depressed, cold, hateful, or angry for ever. A child who is emotionally neglected in the first few years may suffer pronounced physical consequences such as, being physically small, underweight, sickly, and undernourished. Such a child may survive but not thrive. Psychology has long identified the "failure to thrive syndrome." A child who is deprived of this most fundamental relationship, that is, the contact with a stable loving caregiver, can hardly thrive.

Interestingly, the word "thrive" is derived from the Old Norse word, thrifask. which literally means, "to have oneself in grasp" or "grasp something for oneself." Here is my spin on this word in the context of mother-infant bonding. The baby and mother must be in grasp of each other in order for a child to thrive and to succeed. How important is touch for us as a society? Just count the number of times you use the word, "contact." Contact literally means "touch." Also, notice how many times you use the expression, "stay in touch," or "I will get in touch with you." This is an uncanny insight on part of our culture to see the connection between thriving and touch.

All this talk about mother-infant bonding does not imply that fathers don't play a crucial role in a child's development. They do. Babies from very early age recognize and experience joy in presence of a stable, loving, caring male. In human beings, and many species of birds and mammals, both parents care for their offsprings. Bi-parental care appears to be better suited for survival. To provide bi-parental care, there has to be a strong, stable, and loving "pair bonding" between a male and a female.

Source

Article taken from

http://www.mindpub.com/art173.htm

Images taken from

http://static.tvguide.com/MediaBin/Galleries/Imported/Movies/6/39138a.jpg

http://www.vegetarian-nutrition.info/images/touch-therapy.jpg

http://ecowellness.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/human-touch.jpg

The Importance of Touch

2011-11-17T00:00:00.001-05:00

We're all born with a great need for touch. To thrive, newborns must be fed touch as much as food. Studies in orphanages and hospitals repeatedly tell us that infants deprived of skin contact lose weight, become ill and even die. We know that premature babies given periods of touch therapy gain weight faster, cry less, and show more signs of relaxed pulse, respiration rate and muscle tension.

We've seen the bumper stickers asking have you hugged your child today? Children instinctively initiate and seek out touch when they need it. In fact, the absence of this behavior is a red flag for possible neurological damage or a possible history of abuse. As we grow older, we may begin to receive less and less touch. We may hesitate to initiate it ourselves. We may come to associate touch exclusively with sexuality. We forget that we still need touch as much as we did when we were youngsters.

Many of us rationalize that touch isn't important. Part of this may be to cover up hurt from our past if we grew up in families that didn't touch each other. Sometimes it's hard to admit we missed out on such an important human need. To help overcome that thinking consider this interesting study.

Librarians were instructed alternately to touch and not touch the hands of students as they handed back their library cards. Then the students were interviewed. Those who had been touched reported far greater positive feelings about themselves, the library, and the librarians than those who had not been touched.

This occurred even though the touch was fleeting and the students didn't even remember it!

Consider when during the day you are touched or reach out to touch. Do you restrict yourself to handshakes? What kind of hugs are you comfortable with? Do you subscribe to what's been called the all American A-frame? While those in many other part of the whole give whole body hugs, we Americans tend to bend forward only from the waist, keeping our lower bodies apart from each other.

Have you ever been hugged and felt something was off, but you didn't know what? Maybe you were the recipient of another style of hugging - the Baby Burp, the Drumbeat or the Chimpanzee! Can you envision the rat-a-tat-tat, the rapid patting, and the flapping of alternate hands?

If you're a senior, you are in the least touched group in our culture. Part of the blame lies with our culture's emphasis on associating youthful skin with touchable skin, as well as touch being linked with youthful sexuality. Another factor is probably the greater number of people in this age group who live alone. If we restrict our touch to a spouse we may be in big trouble.

But seniors have wonderful opportunities to teach others about the value of touch. Fortunately, as we age, there tends to be a softening of our rigid ideas about things. I know this goes against commonly held views, but we know it's accurate. Seniors are not more stubborn or more stuck in their ways. We know you are actually increasingly flexible and willing to adapt new roles!
So ask yourself how you're doing with getting and giving touch. Consider deliberately touching others more often and see how it feels. When sitting and talking, reach out occasionally to lightly touch the other's forearm, hand or shoulder. When a friend is tired, offer a shoulder or neck rub. Remember that when we touch, we get the benefit as well.

Observe whether you ever ask for touch. It's OK to say, "I need a hug." Ever had a massage? Consider a brief foot massage if you're not sure you're comfortable with more. And don't forget you can give yourself a massage - rubbing your feet, neck, temples even for a few minutes reduces stress. How about the idea of exchanging carbs with a friend on a regular basis? For those of you living in senior communities, I bet you'd find many takers if you organized a weekly shoulder massage gathering!
© Debra Moore Ph.D.

Source

Article taken from: http://library.adoption.com/articles/the-importance-of-touch.html

Images taken from:

http://justparentingadvice.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/30382604.thb_.jpg

http://www.powerfulparentadvocates.com/blog_post_images/0000/0031/hug_medium.jpg?1279243458

http://28.media.tumblr.com/gTgZpUjhepjhrg6mxBmLNWpgo1_500.jpg

Pinoy Store Names

2011-11-06T10:08:00.004-05:00

The following are names of existing real-life business establishments.

Ali Baka ( Shawarma )

Anita Bakery

Beefer 150 ( Meat Shop )

Common Cents Store ( Sari-sari Store )

Crispy per minute ( Crispy Pata Eatery )

Curl Up And Dye ( Beauty Salon )

Doris Day and Night ( 24 hour eatery )

Elizabeth Tailoring

Farmacia With Love ( A Drugstore )

Felix the Cut ( Barber Shop )

Funeraria Mabuhay

Tree's Company

Goto Haven

Goldirocks ( Gravel & Sand Shop )

Labo Optical

L.B.M. Restaurant

Maid To Order ( Maids Placement Agency )

Mane Attraction ( Beauty Parlor )

Meating Place ( Meat Shop )

Memory Drug ( A Mercury Drug Clone )

Nacho Fast ( Nachos To Go )

O'Beer Time ( Bar cum Nightclub )

Passers Buy ( Convenience Store )

Perm Foundation ( A Christian Beauty Salon )

Petal Attraction ( Flower Shop )

Saudia Hairlines ( Beauty Salon )

Scissors Palace ( Barber shop )

Second Time Around ( Second Hand Watch Store )

TapSi TurBi ( Tapa, Sinangag, Turon at Bibingka )

The Way We Wear ( Boutique )

Wash & Carry ( Laundromat )

Mercy Buko ( Fresh Coconut Roadside Shop )

Dear Hunter ( Mail Order Brides )

MacDonuts ( Donut Shop )

Mat & Jeep ( Jeep Accessories Shop )

Your Best Vet ( Veterinary Clinic )

Sources

Article taken from:

http://bethong.tripod.com/pinoy19.htm

Images taken from:

http://i537.photobucket.com/albums/ff335/suroycccp/Picture17.jpg

http://www.spot.ph/files/2010/05/funny-signs-click.jpg

You May Be Married to a Filipina If...

2011-11-03T09:07:00.000-04:00

(written by an American guy who loves his Filipina wife in spite of the numerous "irregularities")

Your refrigerator is always full but you cannot find any food that you recognize
Instead of a dowry, you got the whole bill for the wedding and honeymoon

Most of the decorations in your house are made of wicker
You are expected to be able to read her mind just by watching her eyebrows move up and down and which way her lips are pointed

All her relatives think your name is Joe
The instant you are married you have 3000 new close relatives thatyou can't tell apart

Your house isn't really on fire, but there is a very charred fish right on top of the stove burner
All the desserts are sticky and all the snacks are salty...

She eats her fruit with giant salt crystals and her fried chicken with ketchup
Even the ketchup tastes weird... very weird

You throw a party and everyone is fighting to chop the leathery skin off a dead pig
All your kids have 4-5 middle names

Your in-laws take 10 years to acknowledge your existence and to call you by something other than "that white guy"
You try to call her up on the phone and someone tells you "for a while" and you want to know "for a while, what??"

You are trying to go to sleep and she keeps asking for the comFORT'r, and you ain't got a clue what she's talking about
Your first Christmas present is some funny looking baggy see-thru shirt made out of leftover lace doilies

Your phone bills are all international and average 3 hours per call
She sweeps with something that witches usually fly around on

Her idea of classy, expensive champagne is Asti Spumante
The rice cooker is on 24 hours a day and uses up 50% of your electric and food budget

On your first trip to the Philippines, you have 18 giant boxes that weigh 1000 pounds each and your "carry on" luggage requires a small forklift truck
The same luggage is over filled with things that cost an average of 15 cents each like old magazines and M&Ms -- the worst part is when you get off the plane, the same stuff you've been hauling around halfway around the world is available in every store in the airport for half the price!

All her pajamas look like they were worn by the Dalai Lama until they got too faded
The first time she's pregnant you have to go out at 4:00 in the morning looking for some weird type of greasy sausages

You buy a new _500 freezer so she can store 200 pounds of SPAM that was on sale
Everything in your house was bought on sale, even if you don't need it ..as long as it was a "bargain" is all that matters

She gets really excited by sucking the fat out of pig knees
Your daughter gets her ears pierced when she's 2 minutes old but your sons are not circumcised until they turn 21

All your postage bills instantly double
You hire a Ya-Ya because your wife thinks you clean mirrors with soap and a sponge and the Ya-Ya seems cheaper than a divorce

The only "white meat" she likes is You, and that's if you're lucky
Her favorite sauce is called "patis," Americans call it turpentine

She actually thinks that bowling and golf and billiards are real sports and are more important than baseball and football
You were married 5 years before she explained to you that "ARAY!" doesn't mean "ooh, baby!"

She prefers bistek to beef steak
Her idea of new upholstery is rinsing the bagoong stains out of the slip covers

She can eat and talk at the same time, in fact that's her specialty!
She thinks that the American National Anthem is The Macarena

Her favorite meal is leftovers, her favorite fancy dessert is Jello mold and for something REALLY romantic, she'll offer you a halo-halo with 2 straws
You still don't know what's the difference between manong and manok

She and the kids are always saying "Daddy made utot" and you still don't know what it means but they think it's pretty funny
Other than eyebrow raising and lip puckering, her next most expressive form of communication is grunts and pssst's

She goes to the movies just for the AC
Her homeland has more Megamalls than islands

Before every holiday and visit, her sisters fax you a 10 page "bilins" list which says "suggestion only"
Your kitchen table has a merry-go-round in the middle

Her race is the only one known to be bigger cheapskates than the Jews
All the vegetables she buys at the Filipino store look like they were grown at Chernobyl

Your in-law's first visit last 6 years
Her friends are named Chinky, Girlie, Boy and Bimbo and you are not allowed to smirk

Her home economics course only taught shopping, eating and siesta; cooking, cleaning and sewing were not electives
Her idea of edifying reading is gossip magazines

All your place settings has the silverware backwards and there are no knives
She washes her hair with a bucket and her car with a broom

Her favorite book (she has 3 copies) is "1001 New Recipes for Pig Parts You Were Gunna Throw Out"
You are the only family in a 200 mile radius with 2 Betamaxes, 3 televisions

She's done her best job planning a surprise party for you if she manages not to tell you about it until a week or two before
She "cleans" her closet by throwing all the crap into your closet.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST: You are pretty proud of yourself because you think you snagged up for yourself some unique, rare, tropical goddess type until you go to the Philippines and can't tell her apartfrom anyone else in the whole country (unless she's taller than 5'1", then it's a bit easier)

Source:

http://bethong.tripod.com/pinoy4.htm