I’ve got some big news I’ve been waiting to share: my science fiction film THE XENOPHOBES is going to be available for rental on Amazon Prime Video starting March 6th. You can rent it for just $4.

Link here: https://www.primevideo.com/region/na/detail/0R2N7JPCZIUO9M5RFXDZRXZ525/ref=atv_dp_share_cu_r

Some of you have been following this journey since the beginning, and I can’t tell you how surreal it feels to finally say: you can watch it. I co-wrote this movie with director Hal Dace, and we shot it during the pandemic—which, if you can imagine, made everything about ten times harder. Our lead actress, Svetlana Tulasi, had to navigate constantly changing travel restrictions just to get from Moscow to Manhattan, Kansas, for the shoot. It took herculean effort from director Dace to will this film into existence.

So what’s it about? Picture this: Earth sends a crew of astronauts and their families on a 60-year roundtrip to make first contact with aliens on a distant planet. The aliens want absolutely nothing to do with them. So the crew heads home—only to find that Earth has changed so dramatically while they were gone that they’re now the aliens. I won’t spoil the ending, but I think it’ll surprise you.

Here’s where I need your help. As an indie film, we don’t have a massive marketing budget. What we have is something better: you. If you’re willing, here’s what would make a huge difference:

1. Rent it on Amazon Prime Video starting March 6th — it’s only $4, less than a coffee.

2. Leave us a star rating and review on Amazon — reviews are everything for indie films. Even a quick star rating helps us get seen by more people.

3. Tell a friend — share this email, post about it, text someone who loves sci-fi. Word of mouth is our superpower.

One thing to know: the film will only be available on Amazon Prime for a limited window, so don’t wait too long!

If you want to see behind-the-scenes photos of the cast and crew, head over to our Facebook page at facebook.com/epistrophypictures. And if you’re curious to hear from the people who made the film, interviews are coming on the SciFi Thoughts podcast at SciFiThoughts.space.

You can also find more info and a full press kit on my site: lancerkind.com/the-xenophobes-latest-news. If you’re a superfan, download our movie banners and “wear” it on your profile for the month. The cast and crew would love that!

Thank you all so much for being part of this journey. It means the world to me that you’re here. Now let’s get some people watching this movie!

Lancer

I’m

Thanks to You—We’ve Hit 300 Episodes!

I’m deeply grateful to all the listeners—this year, SciFi Thoughts surpassed 300 episodes! Our tricentennial episode features the inspiring story of how Nigerian author Oghenechovwe Donald Ekpeki was raised by a library. You can listen to it here.

Also, great news: FeedSpot has recognized SciFi Thoughts as one of the top science fiction podcasts, currently ranking us at #38! That’s just 37 steps away from #1—so if you enjoy the show, please share it with your friends and family. Let’s climb even higher together. Tell them to visit: http://SciFiThoughts.space

You can find SciFi Thoughts on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and just about every major podcast platform. I recommend subscribing through a podcast app on your phone so you’ll get each new episode automatically as it goes live.

By working with director Hal Dace and Epistrophy Pictures, I have got my second IMDB credit and I’m super happy! The first one was for the Miss Wisenheimer’s and the Aliens, an animated science fiction movie that as of present time, exists as a short film. The Xenophobes, co-written by myself and director Dace, is a live action film, the filming which started in fall 2021. It was awesome seeing a studio put together and meeting actors, sound and camera crew and the works. I want to thank them all for the efforts they put in. And of course I want to thank the producers and investors that put in the cash to make the production possible.

This Sunday, April 21, the film will be shown in an AMC theater in Manhattan Kansas, near the location where filming happened. If you’re in the area, you can see the film for free at 3PM. Here are the details, and please if you drop in, say “hi!”

I write novels and short stories. Short stories are, well shorter so I can be more experimental. I wrote Morning Star City for a young adult audience so that my kids didn’t need to work so hard to read their Dad’s novels. Morning Star City was published in Rockets & Robots anthology (anthology means a book made from the work of many authors). These stories are design to stretch the minds of young people. They read well for adults too, it’s just that the main characters are youths and the situations are PG-13, so a little less violent or racy. Said another way, these stories are the same style you enjoyed as a youth so go read some contemporary science fiction that you would have loved to read as a kid. The editors of Rockets & Robots are Cheryl Morgan and James Maxey. James is a very accomplished science fiction and fantasy author so it’s an honor to work with him. Tap here to purchase Rockets & Robots on Amazon. I produced a SciFi Thoughts series about Rockets & Robots so you could meet Cheryl, James, and some of the other authors published in this anthology. Tap here to listen to the series.

I bought my EV in 2018 and it was a STEAL at $9,500 for a two-year-old car under warranty with 18,000 miles. I found it on Car Gurus which conveniently allows you to search for electric drive trains.

From then to now, nothing much has changed in my vehicle. So, it might be safe to say that my EV looks as good as new and works the same. Thanks to my instincts to understand when it needs maintenance, and my skills to keep it clean and sanitized with help of sanitizers like Air2 San (order the Air2 San Innovative Solutions & Technology), my vehicle gives me no trouble.

However, this might not be true for those who buy EVs in recent times. As the range of EVs keeps getting longer, this factor will eventually go away. But currently, the range is the most important factor to consider when deciding what to buy, and while looking for rates using sites such as https://invoice-pricing.com/. The longer the range, the more “payola” you’ll need to spend on an EV with a big battery (EV trim lines are about the battery size and range). I needed an EV that would get me to work and back, and run some errands. If you’re looking for a road-trip EV, you are looking at some big money, and frankly, I’d stick with a combustion engine for those matters. And let’s face it, most of us do a road trip about twice a year, and renting a dino-fuel car for those rare occasions has worked very well for me. Whatever kind of car you buy, make sure that you visit a car repair arvada shop or an auto garage in your area to ensure that the vehicle is in top condition and won’t malfunction during the road trip.

How much range is enough?

An electric car’s range will vary a little due to weather conditions. In the winter the range goes down about 15%. In the summer it increases 10%. Fall and Spring will be your baselines. And sometimes you want to take your co-workers for a spin or run some errands after work. So you need more than just for your commute. My suggestion is to have an extra 30% on top of what you need for your commute.

So take the distance from home to the office and multiply by that distance by 3.

Suggested EV Range = distance from home to work X 3

Speaking as someone who’s driven an EV for five years, the above formula has really worked well.

Charge Networks

Charge networks are companies that maintain charging stations around your city. These are the *new* gas stations. When you need to charge your car away from home, you can use their charge stations for a low cost, usually $1-3 dollars and often you don’t have to pay for parking when using a charge station (so it’s a discount from what you’d pay parking a gas car) and frequently the charge stations are located in premium locations. Payment is taken at the charge device by either swiping a credit card or using their smartphone app. Search your workplace or your favorite shopping areas for what charge networks are available. Most malls, Kohls, Walmarts, Fred Meyer, transit centers, translations, Starbucks, and park-and-rides have charge stations. Some are free to use. When was the last time you got free fuel?

Here is a list and map of charging networks in the Seattle area.

Those podcasts you listen to? Payback those producers by leaving them a review which helps them break through the search engine noise. We all want to grow to be BIG podcasts. And of course, I heavily encourage you to leave a review for SciFi Thoughts, Agile Thoughts, and 敏捷理念。They ALL deserve it! Trust me! I hand edit every episode!

And this week is NATIONAL leave your podcast a REVIEW day! I just decided that today. You’re welcome. I mean why not? National leave your podcasts a review day is WAY more cooler than “National Repeat Day”. And June 9th is National Running Day, and what better thing can you do while running than listen to a podcast? So what day is this “National leave your podcasts a review day?” It’s the day you open up your phone or computer and take care of business!

So seize the day! It’s time to pay back the karma of all that free content you’ve been enjoying! Give your podcast producers some love in the form of stars! And LOTS of them!

How to leave a glowing review? It depends on how you download your podcast. Let me break it down for you.

Apple Podcast Review via Web Browser and iTunes

To leave a review on Apple Podcast, you need to use the Apple Podcast player on the phone or computer, and follow these steps:

1. Click on one of the following show pages: SciFi Thoughts, Agile Thoughts, 敏捷理念
2. Click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts”
3. It will prompt you to open iTunes – allow the popup and switch to iTunes/Podcast.
4. In iTunes/Podcast, click on “Rating and Reviews”
5. Then you can do exactly what you would do on the Podcasts App – leave a star rating and review!

Apple Podcast Review via Podcast App

To leave a review on Apple Podcast, you need to use the Apple Podcast player on the phone or computer, and follow these steps:

1. Open Apple Podcast App
2. Go to the icons at the bottom of the screen and choose “search”
3. Search for the podcast by name (examples: “SciFi Thoughts”, “Agile Thoughts”, “敏捷理念”)
4. Tap on the SHOW, not the episode
5. Scroll all the way down to “Ratings and Reviews”
6. Tap on “Write a Review”

Then you will be able to rate on a five star scale and write a written review! You can also leave a review without leaving a rating (but the rating is definitely important!)

Other places you get your podcast?

Stitcher and Google Play don’t take reviews. If I missed your favorite podcast aggregator drop me a tweet.

Dear reader, I know you’ve missed me. I haven’t posted since December and that was 2019, a whole year-number away. I’m sitting in my studio seeing the Seattle spring sun chasing the winter blues away. Not that I’ve had time for winter blues. I’ve been busy with various this-es and thats-es and now I’ve started writing chapter 4. The chapter you’ve been waiting for. (Naturally, after 4 you’ll end up waiting for chapter 5 as well.

If you’re a LeanPub reader of Agile Grande, I’ve been especially BeASTLY to you! And if you’re not a LeanPub reader, click here to become one so I can be BeASTLY to you too!

In chapter 4, we left the story (I’ll keep out spoilers) with Kartar struggling but closer to developing something to help management to overcome their biases. Unfortunately he’s got other problems too because Dharma had to be bailed out of jail and the Chinese Ministry of State Security (the Chinese spy agency) has sent a destroyer and an officer to track down how they’ve been embarrassed by being a party to blowing up America’s new border wall with Mexico. (The American president is quite upset.) MSS has sent their top officer, the beautiful and mysterious Daxian (call her Danni). She is an expert of an ancient systems thinking system called fengshui which she’s uses to hunt down the Party’s most wanted and she is hot on Kartar’s trail.

Unfortunately, dear reader (I’m getting to the BeASTLY part) at the end of chapter 3 Kartar appears to have come to a tragic end in the Arabian Sea.

“So that’s it?” you ask. “The story ends at chapter 3 then?”

Well, if you know me or have read Agile Noir (another novel where Kartar learned his Agile chops from a Hindu godman, available in the US, India, and China) then you’re going to be certain I’ve got a chapter 5 and a chapter 6 and….

So what’s coming in chapter 4? In it, you’ll learn the following:

• Systems thinking
• Whole Product Focus
• And the above bullets will happen despite Kartar appearing to be lost at sea, a Chinese destroyer on the hunt for him, and Mr. Cherneski taking apart Kartar’s cross-functional teams back in Long Beach

“So what the hell?” you might ask. “What am I going to do in the meantime while you’re writing chapter 4?”

Calm down. Calm down. Let’s not be hasty with the pointing device. Here is what I can offer you immediately:

• The Basics of System Modeling (video)
• System Modeling the novel Agile Grande and the Market Response (video)
• A series of interviews with the founders of Large Scale Scrum (LeSS) (Agile Thoughts podcast)
• Seattle LeSS Meetup (we are doing virtual meetings with Zoom and have had attendees from Canada and Australia)

And later, when I need a break from writing and software engineering, I’ll produce another systems modeling video that shows the entire systems model I used when designing Agile Grande’s story. It’ll be announced here at LancerKind.com when it’s ready.

Your pal,

Lancer Kind

Kartar’s being tailed by a very large Russian. The Chinese Ministry of State Security thinks Kartar stole their Semtex to blow up Trump’s wall. Mr. Cherneski is reversing Kartar’s organizational transformation. And Kartar agonizes for a way to overcome his management’s cognitive biases.

The writing of Agile Grande continues:

You can read what’s been written at LeanPub for free. Get a copy now because maybe later I’ll charge a MINT! For the best reading experience, I recommend reading epubs with an iPad using Apple’s Books (Books used to be called iBooks).

More about Chapter 3:

The hero, Kartar, realizes he’ll never get management to stop undoing his organizational change work until he finds a tool to break through preconceived biases. He starts working on an idea that he needs to use a visual system of analysis to switch people’s brains from the slap dash system one thinking to the more rational system two, but he gets interrupted by a large stranger who has followed him from Long Beach California to a container ship in the Arabian Sea.

Mr. Cherneksy, the VP who is making millions by taking advantage of his organization’s complexity, prepares his son, Studebaker, to help him use this new Agile transformation to his advantage. Cherneski also discovers that Kartar’s daughter is dating his son.

And then there is Dharma, Kartar’s daughter. It turns out she is “raising the bar” on the amount of trouble a daughter can bring to her father.

Another complication shows its teeth…

The Ministry of State Security watches the news too and they aren’t happy about the negative attention about PLA (People’s Liberation Army) Semtex that found its way to the USA and blew up their president’s favorite infrastructure project: a wall between the US and Mexico. So they’ve put their best dachshund on the job: Daxian. (Pronounced “Dah-she-an”.) This agent, an expert of geomancy, is hot on Kartar’s trail and has a Chinese destroyer at her beck and call.

What could go wrong?

Remember Star Wars THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK? When at the end, Luke loses his hand, C3PO gets blow to pieces, and Han Solo gets frozen in carbonate? Chapter 3 is that moment. And by the end of this chapter, you’re going to be left wondering if Kartar will even get a chapter 4.

What’s to come if Kartar lives to see chapter 4?

• More about Dharma’s secrets
• Kartar learns to use systems thinking in a social manner that overcomes biases
• Kartar learns why “whole product focus” is so important
• Kartar discovers how to solve multi-team agile (systems) problems (critical for enterprises wanting improve their delivery performance)

Podcasting to Radio is like Tivo to being stuck in the 1970s with big three TV networks.  With podcasts you can “stop the show” until you’re ready to continue or even “speed up the action” if the pace is too slow.  It’s like having ala carte cable where you get to pick the show you want to watch, when you want to watch it.  And if you don’t know what to pick, you can type into a search engine, “favorite topic” and podcast and find what you want.

When I’m driving in my car, I’m listening to podcasts. When I’m waiting at the school or bus stop, I’m listening to podcasts. It’s like Youtube, but even better–hands free! I’m free to go jogging, work in the yard, or just chill on the couch with a podcast.

Podcasting the convenient way

My preferred mode of listening means I’m not attached to my computer but using my smart phone. This way, I’ve always got my listens with me, whether I’m in my car or doing housework. Although iOS comes with a podcast player from Apple, my podcast player of choice is Overcast, which lets me speed up the playback if things aren’t moving at the rate that I like.

After installing any podcast player, your next mission is to use its search capability to find what you like. Just like a web search engine you just need to enter in some keywords like “science fiction” or “SciFi Thoughts.” Crusing in your car? Most cars have a USB port in to which you connect your phone. Common locations for in-vehicle USB ports: glove box and center console—the storage area between the seats.

Smart speakers are another route for listening in home. Here is another article that goes over a number of options.

Many smart TVs or BluRay players have app stores. Go search their app store for “podcast player.”

About Podcast Aggregators

Podcast aggregators send podcasts from the publisher’s site to your device.  Or, you can play the podcast directly on the aggregators webpage. Usually simple searching for “SciFi Thoughts” in your podcast player will get you where you need to go. But if you need more details, you can find SciFi Thoughts at the following links.

• Overcast.FM https://overcast.fm/itunes1352868789/scifi-thoughts
• Stitcher https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/anoir-consulting/scifi-thoughts
• Player.fm https://player.fm/series/scifi-thoughts
• iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/scifi-thoughts/id1352868789
• Castbox: https://castbox.fm/channel/SciFi-Thoughts%7D-id1185863?country=us
• Listen Notes: https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/scifi-thoughts-lancer-kind-science-fiction-pgtOy3P1C5s/
• Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/podcast/2kM3jyq6qQQ4bnGF7eyXby/overview

I’m quite taken at how fluid and clear the ePub file works on iBook readers (Mac, iPhone, Android, …). I hope your reading experience is enjoyable as well.

So what does Agile Grande have to do with Trump’s border wall? Check out chapters one and two to get in the know. There are systems all around us that are affecting us everyday. If you can’t see the big picture then you’ll be many steps behind.

In this chapter, Kartar ends up working with Studebaker, Mr. Cherneski’s son. Together they discover a lead that points to a problem with order management, a system under Cherneski’s leadership. Through working with Studebaker on a report, Kartar discovers the hairy politics of doing organizational change with a company leadership who is mostly interested in assigning blame. Kartar argues over how to be transparent in a report for the company vice presidents. Studebaker isn’t willing to document anything that could cause controversy. Although Kartar insists on digging deeper into the incident, at the last minute, Cherneski has told Kartar to forget about it and sends him on a trip to a seaport in Dubai.

What’s upcoming for Chapter 3: a shipboard ‘accident’ puts Kartar’s life in danger and a beautiful, mysterious woman hunts Kartar using an ancient form of systems thinking.

I can’t wait to write it!

Lancer

In chapter one, the story opens with CIA operatives planning how to accept a delivery of something they don’t want anyone to know about. It’s a black operation and although it’s supposed be a milk run, malfunctioning crane automation at the Long Beach sea port almost spills the beans. (Well, something does get spilled but I leave that to you to read about.) A logistics company operates the port and one of their VPs, Mr. Cherneski, gets a call from his darknet customer who expresses displeasure at the near disaster. Our Scrum Master and hero Kartar gets a call too, but it’s from port operations since it’s his teams developing the sea port’s automation. By the end of the chapter, whatever the CIA was smuggling in was used to destroy a portion of the wall between Mexico and the US.

What’s upcoming in Chapter 2: Kartar gets a taste of the politics that happen with organizational change. He is charged with writing a report to get to the bottom of the crane incident at Port of Long Beach Sea Port, and it’s due by end of day.

AGILE GRANDE is being written in a continuous delivery style on LeanPub. Chapters are going up as they are written and revised at https://leanpub.com/AgileGrande.

AGILE GRANDE is the sequel to AGILE NOIR. Kartar Patel,  a savvy Scrum Master charged with scaling Agile across an international logistics company who’s organizational structure is ill suited. Although ill suited for Agile it’s right suited for Mr. Cherneski, a selfish genius who masterminded an organization of siloed pigeon holes so employees unknowingly support his multi million dollar darknet business. Kartar doesn’t know why his transformation work is being resisted at every turn until he’s left for dead in the Indian Ocean and hunted by a foreign intelligence agency. Kartar washes ashore in Mumbai without his memory and has to go underground. He learns tools to analyze and adjust organizational structures. By the time he recovers from amnesia, he has only twenty-four hours to stop his daughter from marrying Cherneski’s son and get his Agile transformation back on track.

What’s a good servant leader to do other than get to work and save the day?

Every time the FOX movies logo hits the screen a small part of you always believes it’s Star Wars coming up next, and that small part is secretly disappointed whenever it’s not. Maybe you love science fiction enough to read it, write it, or create film or games.

So this your chance!

I’ll be in Peabody (next to Boston) July 27th and 28th. How about you use my calendar link and schedule an interview with the SciFi Thoughts podcast? You can rant convictions, whisper secrets, or turn the tables and question Lancer. Either way we’ll record and edit it to make it the most pure drop of SciFi Thought that can be distilled.

So step up and explain your relationship with science fiction! Let it never be said that I don’t seek both sides of every story.

Your fan and host,

Lancer Kind

PS: If you haven’t found SciFi Thoughts podcast, it’s here.

Don’t waste your commute time on dull matters! Stretch your brain with some future-oriented programming. Arrive at work with a refreshing new perspective on something you didn’t even know was a thing!

SciFi Thoughts, for a few short minutes, will tease and tantalize you with this genre from the future. SciFi has many dozens of sub-genres, each with different story telling styles that bring new possibilities into how you see the world. Our mission is to expand what science fiction means to you by exploring this genre that is diverse as the stars in the sky. SciFi Thoughts will, like the James Web Telescope, draw focus on a discovery and tantalize you with thoughts on movies and literature through intelligent and engaging discussion. If you’ve got a better idea on how to liven up your commute, leave a comment on the blog and we’ll see what we can do.

Cocktails, unfortunately, are not included.

Breaking news: SciFi Thoughts at NorwesCon!

If your heart is filled with scifi passion and you’d like to let it out in front of a mic, come find Lancer at the Con as he’s bringing his recording equipage. Better yet, make an appointment at: calendly.com/lancerkind

. . . a savvy project manager who is determined, disciplined, and and above all, handsome. He’s got a high profile project for a Vegas casino and puts his heart and soul into delivering the Winner. But when timelines are slipped, stakeholders want a pound of flesh for every ounce of letdown. He’s being followed . . . discovers tracking devices on his car . . . his meetings are bugged . . . he gets a gun. A mysterious godman tells him he’ll never succeed without transforming his project to an Agile process. Kartar discovers that not only his career and life are on the line, but so is his immortal soul.

Learn Agile and Scrum software development in an enjoyable and memorable way.

The following concepts are covered in this dramatic story:

• Agile Manifesto values and principals,
• the Scrum framework,
• history of Waterfall,
• User Stories,
• Planning Poker estimation,
• cross–team dependencies,
• Scrum of Scrums, and
• the challenges of organizational change.

Available in the US and India.  Coming too China (in Mandarin) this summer.

Out for a walk inside an asteroid ship.

Miss Wisenheimer and the Aliens short film is screening at an ultra coolio anime con in Kansas City, Missouri: Sausomecon.

Come watch the show!  And who knows?  Since Director Hal Dace is in nearby Manhattan, Kansas, he maybe he’ll take a break from his current film project to make an appearance.

Twitter: @Sausomecon

Miss Wisenheimer and the Aliens, showing at the following conventions (we’ll keep the list updated and announce changes on http://Twitter.com/LancerKind):

• ConNooga Feb 19-21, TN
• GalaxyFest Feb 19-21, CO, Hal Dace attending
• MystiCon and the MystiCon Independant Film Festival Feb 26-28, VA
• CoastCon, Mar 4-6, MS (unconfirmed)
• CyPhaCon, April 8-10, LA
• MisCon and the MisCon International Film Festival May 27-30, MT, Lancer Kind attending (unconfirmed)
• WesterCon69, July 1-4, Portland, Lancer Kind attending
• OdysseyCon (AKA OddCon, not to be confused with OddCon TN), April 8-10, Madison WI

Zipporah’s Cult

It’s true! No not that–I mean that it’s unusual for an author to get on a TV show. In fact it’s unnatural. Producers worry that I’ll show up with a book and read to the camera.

Now, if you end up co-authoring a film script, say a science fiction movie set a THOUSAND years in the future, and you’ve got some video to show for it, well, now you’ve got something that touches the heart of any energetic producer who’s got a twenty minute and thirty-eight second spot to fill.

Usually I’m involved with authorly things like writing, editing, more writing, more editing, and then finally, selling the manuscript, publishing it, and telling people about it. There’s a LOT of work that goes into telling people about what you’ve done. Although there are a LOT of people on this planet who enjoy science fiction, they aren’t impatiently hanging out in my living room, watching TV and eating my chips, and checking over my shoulder to see if I’ve yet finished something for them to read. (Why, the chip budget alone could bankrupt me!) They’re busy developing products, studying, and plotting world take over (at least that’s what I do in my spare time). Because Miss Wisenheimer and the Aliens is a film, it’s a different animal: film festivals, scifi convention film rooms, distributors, YouTube, Kickstarter, and TV stations. Director Dace cut a short film version of the movie so now we’ve got something to tell those people who aren’t hanging around in my living room. (Don’t take it personal Bob.  It’s OK, really–You cleanup after yourself and don’t eat that many chips.)  TV stations that yawned at the topic of books are completely “in” when it comes to the video medium. So I’m totally tickled to do my first science fiction related TV interview. You’ll see screenings of Miss Wisenheimer and the Aliens at your local science fiction convention.

Here is the interview. 

Everyone feels disturbed.  Although the medicine man gives assurance that he can deflect any ill givings, some worry Zuzu’s tortured spirit will roam the village and cause food to spoil and mothers to miscarry. The entire tribe has motive for the murder. Everyone demanded Zuzu stop making tools that disrupt trade with their neighbors.

Lu Beau, the tribe’s strongest man, goes on record to say, “Zuzu wouldn’t listen to reason. Our people are bigger than others. We carry the kills of their hunters further and faster, and that puts deer above our cook fires. This ‘wheel’ would toss our superiority. That guy would gut our easy life.”

Zuzu is survived by worldly possessions such as a hut, a wife, and daughter, all of which will be shared within the tribe per custom. But many fear attracting bad spirits if any possessions, especially by chance the wife or daughter, are given to Zuzu’s killer. To lop the head from their problem, the eldest has enlisted aid of a nearby tribe and trading partner, to decide who killed Zuzu.

Even this wise plan has caused concerned! Many have misgivings at inviting an outsider into this. Maru, the eldest’s son, has said on record, “This Zarina is a willful and stubborn woman who hasn’t the common sense to just pick the lowliest member of the tribe whom everyone would be glad to wear the goat’s cape and be rid of.” Maru went on to say, “She insists on asking lots of questions and is not a likable woman. It’s too bad we can’t implicate HER so this entire matter is quickly settled.”

More on this developing story is available in Caveman Noir, in the October issue of Crimson Fog.

Back in 2010, Hal and I talked science fiction over beers and Hal produced a 55 point manifesto why JJ Abrams was the wrong guy to direct Star Trek 11 and 12. Although I enjoyed the movie immensely, I agreed with Hal on nearly all of his points. Hal want’s to see a Trek film, not a pastiche. We met again before Star Trek 12 opened and put together a Star Trek Purity test. Our pre-show opening Trek 12 predictions were:

Into Darkness will fail the first three checklist items and then come on strong for the next four, and finally Uhurah sings and Spock’ll do something Vulcan, putting the film at six out of eleven. This will allow the movie to be a great commercial success yet maintain most of the Trekkie fan base, thereby bringing fresh viewers into the Trek fold.

It’ll be Star Wars: nonstop action, no strategy, no thoughtful moments. I say the next film fails all of the tests. A complete ZERO.

We invited the internet community to take our pre-opening online poll and the results were: 40% thought that it’d get “-5″/11 (hopeless cynics!), 30% predicted 0 out of 11 (rational cynics), and single votes for: 11/11 (snort), 10/11, and 6/11 (that was Lancer).

What the movie actually got was…. :

Three out of ten (the Romulan’s weren’t part of the movie so we struck that question from the test.) The movie did a little worse than Lancer thought but better than Hal thought.

Regarding point one, Star Trek is about peace.  Most if not all Star Treks are about great efforts and trade-offs to keep it.

I remember a TOS episode (A Private Little War) where the hill people who have only spears and bows, are defending themselves against those with flint-lock guns. And McCoy is pushing Jim to arm the hill people so they can fight back, and Jim wouldn’t do it because of the Prime Directive.  But NuKirk is always in trouble with Star Fleet.

<Laughs> In fact, regarding point 8, the first thing that happens in the movie is that Kirk’s kicked out of Star Fleet.

Regarding point 10, I guess they didn’t use science to solve a problem. It was all about action and maneuvering.

It was contrived that Kirk saves the ship instead of Scotty.

But it setup a nice role reversal with Spock.

Agreed! That was nice but contrived that Kirk has engineering ability. They train you in real Navy that the engineer gives up his life to save the ship. It would have been Scotty’s idea and duty to go into that chamber. As it was, Scotty had given up saving the Enterprise and it was Jim that came up with the idea of going into the chamber.

In light of that, better to have found another way to work in the role reversal. For example, Kirk could’ve stopped Scotty (as done in the movie), but the dialog was wrong and needed changing so it was Scotty’s idea. And the scene of Kirk kicking that cathode (core alignment mechanism), had him doing it in mostly the wrong direction.

No matter what I or other Trekkies think the movies were a commercial success.

But Abrams has thrown Trekkies under the bus to do it.

Hey Fritz. That looks uncomfortable.

It’s a short term gain. Because he’s a weak story teller, his films will be forgotten unlike Star Trek #2, #4, #7, and #8.

But his films are better than the TNG movies. I hardly remember them.

Wrong! Even the worst TNG movie, #10, had something great in it and that was Data sacrificing his life to save the Enterprise and Earth. JJ Abrams will never have a moment that’s as great as the greatest moment in the worst TNG movie.

Abrams well suited to Star Wars?

In spring 2013, at another meetup in an English bar in China…

I hear Abrams got the job of directing Star Wars.

Both: You didn’t know that?!

JJ Abrams working on Star Wars is the best thing to happen to the Star Trek franchise!

I’ve got bad news for you. Paramount has chosen to keep going in the science fiction thriller direction with Trek. Star Trek Beyond (trailer) is being produced by Abrams and directed by Fast and Furious director Justin Lin.

Abrams style totally suits Star Wars. He might even fix the franchise. My argument will always be that Star Trek is completely different from Star Wars and that letting Abrams get his hands on Star Trek was always going to be a disaster!

But Disney…  I can’t believe Lucas Films sold to them.  What’s that going to do to Star Wars?

I think it’ll be better because Disney will get the best people to make the film, where Lucas was too nepotistic.

Well, OK. Abrams will get people who can act and hopefully writers who can make a script with great dialog.

Star Wars isn’t character driven so the actors are kinda stuck. There’s never a serious explanation as to why they’re acting this way.

Hence we get to the term “Space Opera.” As in Opera where acting isn’t primary but instead music and high drama play a major part in communicating story. Operatic stories need to be simpler than say a play or a “regular” movie. Star Wars derives emotion from what’s happening around them rather than coming from inside the individual. The stories come from top down “big picture” situations and how that impacts the individuals. To make this story telling work, it heavily leans on archetypes acting in the face of black and white situations like good versus evil. And to drive it along, pre-destiny, established by some off-screen agent plays a big part and overcomes individual choice.  Instead of oracles, priests, and Gods fortelling (Illiad and the Odyssey), the language is “the Force,” the dark side, and visions. Luke Skywalker had little chance to avoid his destiny any more than Odysseus, Achilles, etc. So the actors hit the stage, queue symphony, and viewers and actors just accept these preconditions and the curtain raises.

JJ Abrams will be ideal. His lack of science in his Star Trek work will fit in with all the “banking spaceships” Star Wars nonsense.

Yeah, well I think sparkles shooting out of peoples mouths would be cool but I don’t want to see it in my science fiction.

Even Lucas doesn’t think Star Wars is science fiction. In the summer of 1977, 2 months into the huge success of Star Wars, he said that Star Wars isn’t science fiction, but is science fantasy.

I’m worried about Star Wars. Maybe next year there’ll be jedi and clones thrown under this bus. Or maybe it’ll probably work out. I’m excited to see what happens!

OK, here’s a poll to see what the rest of the world thinks.

See everyone at The Force Awakens.

Attributions:

Boot Icon made by Freepik from www.flaticon.com 

Drum Icon made by Freepik from www.flaticon.com 

Caveman Noir

Crimson Fog, by TM Publishing, is an online and print magazine. The online version beautifully renders in your web browser using the Issuu system, which Crimson Fog took good advantage of by using lovely full color imagery to go along various points of each story. This technology brings 24bit color to the reader at a level of quality and quantity beyond what most print magazines can afford to do.

This debut issue contains two other stories, a repeating history of murder in “Chasing August” and medical intrigue in “Death of a Medicine Man.” The issue is filled entirely with international submissions from the countries of India, England, and China.

Read Caveman Noir available online at Crimson Fog magazine.

At my day job I was telling my manager about my latest consulting adventure after which he asked me to “write it up, and let the narrative tell the story.” Maybe he was bored and was trying to get rid of me, but I took him at his word. Though being an innovative guy, I went to the extreme by writing a dramatic short story called “A Silo To Hell!” Despite the smart title few people in my busy office took the time to read it. Unwilling to declare failure, I pushed it to the next level by converting the short story into SCRUM NOIR: A Silo to Hell! and broke it into three episodes. To produce the images, I pressed some minions (such as co-author, Dhaval Panchal) into service as comic book actors, and viola! The comic format did the trick! Anyone no matter how busy or despondent will take the time to page through something with pictures and an engaging story.

So I gave my co-workers episode one and chilled until they demanded the next, and then the next. And the series SCRUM NOIR was born! Today there are three story lines: A Silo To Hell, Mad Dog Mary, and Bad Boys of Scrum.  Each story is made up of three episodes where Agile consultant Ace is challenged to unknot real world problems with a real world solutions. The comics are available on an episode basis or if you hate cliff-hangers, buy an entire story bundled in a Mega Digest. SCRUM NOIR is available in both print and Kindle on Amazon. To help get you started, first episodes are heavily discounted to $1.99 or even free if you’re in the Amazon Prime club.

Learning Agile software development, project management, and people management doesn’t have to be boring any more than watching a TV show about office life. Pickup a SCRUM NOIR and learn the fun way!

Lancer Kind and China Mi?ville

As a science fiction author, I’m way outside the box. In fact somedays, I feel bad because if I’m too far “outside” how can I change the box that I’m actually in? Well for this writer I’m often writing fiction that is designed to motivate readers to make the world a better place. But as I and China Melville discussed over coffee at ReaderCon, sometimes change is best brought about by direct action. IE, putting the damn pen down and doing something about it.

Sure I’ve gone to my share of candlelight vigils and peace protests, but for some social change, you can be more direct: be the change, and be vocal and charming.

I get frustrated whenever I’d enter a Starbucks store, and one-hundred percent of the people are sipping lattes through paper cups because, despite the customer telling them they are a “drink in,” the barista handed them a paper cup. This is despite every Starbucks store having a stock of ceramic coffee cups for hot beverage “drink ins.” This is completely wasteful, and I’ve noticed that it’s only the bigger coffee shops that do this. Most smaller cafes have more people staying inside, meaning that cups and mugs are used instead of paper cups. However, many people go to Starbucks as they’re familiar with the drinks and they know what they’re getting. A lot of people don’t actually realize that similar drinks are available from small cafes. More and more cafes are slowly increasing their marketing by adding seo services to their existing strategy in order to spread the word about their business. Hopefully, that should inspire more people to visit their local cafes to try and support smaller businesses. Bigger coffee shops are no better than smaller cafes, if anything, they’re more wasteful!

Not to mention that you’re tasting paper fibers with your coffee instead of, well, a latte with a hint of vanilla and nutmeg. People are understandably looking elsewhere for their coffee. People are starting to ask the question, “What Is a Just Love Coffee Cafe Franchise?“, and are finding it to be a great alternative to the mainstream cafes whilst also contributing to good causes.

Recently, I’ve been spending a lot if time in India, and as is my habit, I went to a coffee shop to write. I sometimes daydream in these places about going on a Barista Course Melbourne to break away from everything, but in the end writing draws me back to reality. Anyway, at Phoenix Market City I found coffee (Starbucks) and placed my order. It went like the following:
Lancer: “Grande Vanilla latte.”
barista: “Drink in?”
Lancer: “Yes–Oh! Don’t use whipped cream.”
The barista grabs a marker and a paper cup. (I’m expecting and watching for this move, so I leap into action.)
Lancer: “Whoa! Can you give me a ceramic cup.”
Barista is surprised, but then reaches underneath and preps a ceramic cup.
Lancer with smile: “Stop killing trees man.”
Barista laughs with good nature.
Lancer turns to include those in the queue behind me. “Why aren’t all the drink-ins getting ceramic cups?”
Barista manager: “It’s more labor to wash the cups.”
Lancer: “I’m in the second most populated country in the world and you’re worried about labor?”
The baristas all laugh, sorta nodding. The people in the queue laugh and a few of them request ceramic cups.

Now all of this is normal. For years this has been my shtick for coffee shops in US, China, and now India. But what happened when I entered this Starbucks store on the next weekend was amazing: people sitting at tables and drinking hot drinks all had ceramic cups! And this continued for week after week after week! This busy Starbucks store sells more than 400 beverages on a busy weekend day. At least half are hot beverages, so that’s 200 paper cups saved from the recycler a day.
So just like your mom said, “You may be able to change the world, but don’t think you can play soccer in the living room.” Which translates to, if you’re outside of your parent’s home, GO FOR IT!

We celebrated with coffee!

These world changing baristas signed this lovely cup.

Zipporah, the spitfire cult leader all of us wish we had growing up.

When I got involved with the MISS WISENHEIMER AND THE ALIENS movie, I thought about it as a writer: Is the concept good? Is it rich enough to put in good character? Does the milieu have story producing potential?

I didn’t think so much about the movie product part, the part where I’d get to meet and work with rich talent from around the world! Playing co-main character beside Galactic Ranger (and grouch) Babbage is Zipporah. She seeks Babbage out for directions because she’s lost on her way to lead her cult to their communion with Saint Bob Dylan. But she gets ousted by her followers and Babbage gets stuck with her. The two go on an adventure to prove the other wrong about whether everything was built by God for man or if there is intelligent life other than man.

Elena Kolkutova (pronounced Yell-en-ah Coke-oo-toe-va) is the acting talent behind Zipporah and I was lucky enough to catch her for this interview.

Elena Kolkutova, the voice actor playing Zipporah

Not many science fiction films have a woman as a main character so this film is bucking the trend.

I adore her character. She’s a tomb-boy with a slight likeness of Lizzie Bennet mixed with Jo from the Little Women movie: stubborn, straightforward, going for what she thinks is right and caring. Zipporah is quit appealing to both genders.

It’s a thousand years in the future and spiritual growth rather than science has been the trend for the past 80 years. At the start of the film, Zipporah is at the cusp of achieving all of her life goals: graduated from seminary school, leader of her own cult, and minions ready to lay down their lives to join the Almighty. Did you enjoy being a Christian cult leader?

Why yes! Wouldn’t you?

She strongly believes in the righteousness of her cause and actions, and she is ready to go to the end for it. I have controversial feelings about that because it is admirable however a bit dangerous.

Having a Discussion

Zipporah performs yoga to connect with the Almighty. She is amazingly graceful, thin, and beautiful like yourself.  Has any of Zipporah assertive personality rubbed off?  Do you feel any compulsion to barge into yoga studios and, through force of charisma, press entire yoga classes to be your followers?

First of all, thank you for the compliment! I wish I had such a charisma as her. I have yet to try to press a yoga study… who knows. I do yoga at home in the mornings sometimes before going on to my busy life. I’ll consider your advice about recruiting followers.

The two main characters are Zipporah and Babbage. Is Zipporah Babbage’s sidekick or is Babbage Zipporah’s sidekick?  If push came to shove and the characters decided to duel to the death, would Zipporah or Babbage win?

I think Zipporah and Babbage complement each other and switch the “who’s dominant” role from time to time. What well-balanced relationship doesn’t? Regarding a duel, I think they’d die together or save each other…from each other. Zipporah is stubborn and if she decided to have Babbage by her side (or to be by his side), she’d do it no matter the cost and he couldn’t do anything about it.

What’s your first exposure to science fiction and did you worry that you’d have to wear a funny futuristic uniform?

My brother loves science-fiction, so I kept stumbling upon those books with funny futuristic cover pictures when I just started to stumble. For some time I thought those places really existed.

I was a bit disappointed I didn’t get to wear any tin-foil suit for the movie.

I’ll get wardrobe on that for the next time you enter the voice booth.

Tell about the start of your life so the public can understand that despite your parents’ good intentions in raising you well, you fell in among expats producing an independent film instead of focusing on working your way up the ladder of a wealthy company.

I grew up in Eastern Siberia, Russia. During summers, my older brother and I stayed in the countryside of the south with our grandparents. We were lucky because we have seen both a city life with its technology, as Zipporah prefers, and we’ve seen the country life with its pastures, horses, geese, apples, grapes, peas, and strawberry growing in the backyard, as Babbage lives.

I think that like Zipporah, I’m more performance oriented than corporate. When I was five, my parents took me to ice-skating classes. I was spotted by the local figure-skating team and they took me in for serious training. I was getting ready for my first real town competition, when the coach told me I can’t miss training and have to choose whether I want to go to school every day or train to become a great figure-skater. I thought about it but I got scared that I wouldn’t go to school and learn everything I should and decided to quit skating. I don’t know whether it was a wrong choice and what could have happened were I to stay skating instead of going to school. I still love skating and go about once a month. Luckily Xiamen has a proper skating rink.

Although Babbage’s life is too rustic for Zipporah, it’s an opportunity to do the Holy Composer’s work and improve someone.

Most of the film work is being done in Xiamen. What brought you to this beautiful island and China’s ancient city of romance?

Pirates. Definitely pirates. Who doesn’t want to get on board with some treasure seeking adventurous one-legged or hook-handed guy?

Really? You find one-legged or hook-handed men sexy?

Why not? They have an interesting story to tell. But seriously, I wish it was that romantic. I came to visit my friend, fell in love with Xiamen, and moved here.

Working on the film all this time gave me so much excitement, fulfillment, and satisfaction that I even secretly started to believe that I’m as good as they say. 
I’ve learned a lot from Hal: voice-recording, movie-making, and acting. We had lots of fun! The biggest challenge was how well the film’s dialogue brought humor into the drama, because quite often I had to keep myself from laughing during recording sessions.

Elena taking time off at one of Xiamen’s waterfronts.

What was the most enjoyable moment you had playing Zipporah?

Oh my…I loved every moment of it!

Fabulous! Congratulations Elena Kolkutova on your role as Zipporah and best of luck on your next project!

Excited about the film? Go LIKE the film on FB so we can convince distributors to show the film widely. You can read blog posts from the film’s universe at: http://WhereAreTheAliens.us

MISS WISENHEIMER AND THE ALIENS movie poster

Henry Babbage:Galactic Ranger, hermit, and genius.

It’s not everyday I get to interview an old fart who’s also a cosmologist. Babbage, one of two the main characters in MISS WISENHEIMER AND THE ALIENS, is of those brilliant people you’d find through the dusty crawl spaces of a super collider. If asked a question, he’d respond in one of two ways: talk your ear off, or chew you out for having a question when the answer is obvious, at least to him. As previously posted, MISS WISENHEIMER AND THE ALIENS is about man’s golden age in the universe, when although energy is plentiful and space travel is easy, no alien intelligence has ever been discovered. An old atheist and a nubile Christian develop feelings of love while exploring the universe to prove the other wrong about whether everything was built by God for man, or if there are aliens. In the film, Babbage is responsible for launching the 2nd most ambitious and comprehensive expedition the coperniverse has ever known. He was involved with THE most comprehensive expedition which despite the massive resources of the federal government brought to bear, failed to find intelligent alien life.

Director, producer, animator, co-author, and actor Hal Dace plays the role of Henry Babbage. In between these many roles (movies don’t make themselves), I pulled him from work for an interview.

Hal Dace, voice actor for Babbage and provided performance capture for all the movie roles.

Playing a crusty old fart is quite a strain, I’m sure. What has prepared you?

In high school I won seven awards for acting, one of which was the school’s Best Actor award. That first year in London was spent acting in three plays at a prestigious theatre in Islington. But I always thought that the other actors in the plays were lousy. The only reason I’ve taught myself how to do motion capture engineering is so that I can fulfill my dream of playing every part in a film all by myself. Finally I can act with other decent actors!

The two main characters are Zipporah and Babbage. Zipporah, a hardcore Christian, and Babbage, a devoted atheist, spend a lot of time arguing about the existence of God. The two of them then go on an trans-universe adventure to settle the question of God or aliens, once and for all. How was verbally sparing with Elena Kolkutova (playing Zipporah). After each scene, did someone have to hose the both of you down to stop your fights?

Elena and I frequently burst into fits of the giggles in the middle of recording. Although the film isn’t a comedy, we’re both surprised at how hilarious the script is. It showcases how intelligent people, even when using the others’ own reasons against the other, never changes anyone’s mind. This week we’re going to have our final recording session together. It’s taken us a year and a half so it’ll feel like the end of an era.

Is Zipporah Babbage’s sidekick or is Babbage Zipporah’s sidekick? If push came to shove and the characters decided to duel to the death, would Zipporah or Babbage win?

There’s no question that Zipporah is stronger and more dynamic than Babbage. When Babbage doesn’t get what he wants he whines and he resents it when he follows the rules and then doesn’t get the reward he deserves. Zipporah is quite resilient, especially when you consider the way she bounces back from the humiliation of having failed to kill herself and her friends.

Babbage’s gardening interrupted.

Babbage is a crotchety old geek but a genius. How strongly do you identify with Babbage? Do you feel compulsions to lecture people for misunderstanding the world and then leave them agape to attend to some gardening?

Babbage is most certainly my alter-ego, I’m ashamed to say. I too seek a lifelong quest for success that may arrive late in life. I can be extremely opinionated and somewhat overbearing. Luckily my friends are not afraid to tell me to shut up. I’m not particularly interested in gardening but I think I should be. Is it going too far to invest in a custom shed builder? Or should I just stick with the normal ones… But then, i’m not as invested in gardening as little old Babbage, so although he’s a certified jerk, he’s at least a better man than I.

Most of the film work is being done in Xiamen. What brought you to the beautiful island of Xiamen, China’s ancient city of romance and home base for Fujian pirates?

I’m a wishy-washy romantic. I’ve lived abroad for years but I’m not actually very interested in traveling. Both times I moved abroad it was to marry a woman who didn’t like me enough to bother traveling to Kansas. Xiamen’s not bad because it’s subtropical and the air’s a little cleaner than other cities in China. That’s pretty much all that made it bearable. Aside from meeting pirates, the best part was meeting that genius science fiction bastion, Lancer Kind!

Ahem! That Sir is flattery and will be encouraged. Tell me about the start of your life so the public can understand that despite your parents’ good intentions in raising you well, you put yourself to the task of seducing good hard working expats into working on your film.

I was born in a small college town called Manhattan, Kansas. My father was a theatre professor at Kansas State University and my mother was an English professor and also a well known theatre critic in New York, Boston, and London. And yes it is true that I’m something of the black sheep of the family in that I never even attended college. I moved to London when I was eighteen and got a job as a trainee assistant film editor with the BBC a year later. I’ve been in the TV and film industry ever since. My brother did better: he did go to college and now he’s a famous philosopher. Lesson: don’t ruin your life when you’re eighteen.

MISS WISENHEIMER AND THE ALIENS movie poster

How did MISS WISENHEIMER AND THE ALIENS come together? What was the inspiration beyond finding a way to get a young women interested in old geeky men?

Miss Wisenheimer had been knocking about in my skull for about twenty-five years when I met Lancer for the first time at The Londoner pub in Xiamen. I told him the story and it was all he could do to stop himself from laughing in my face (sorry Lancer, I never told you I could tell from your face turning blue). I had written a terrible version of it all those decades earlier, then I wrote several other screenplays over the years. All of them abysmal. It took Lancer’s TLC to finally get it working. The inspiration was a conversation I had once with my old friend and colleague, the famous cinematographer Alan Dunlop, in his flat in North London. We were just talking about physics and the idea of a cosmic meeting place at the “center of the universe” popped into my head. Alan duly informed me that my idea was scientifically ridiculous.

Speaking to director Dace rather than actor, what is the most important thing that this film brings to the audience?

When I was young the general attitude of the public was that the whole idea of aliens was silly and that there was no other planet in the universe with intelligent life. Sure, there were believers, but they were very much in the minority. I knew both religious and non-religious people who did not believe in aliens. Then science came along and consistently publicized the fact that the odds are very strongly in favor of there being intelligent aliens, not just in the universe but in our local neighborhood of the galaxy. And Hollywood jumped on the bandwagon and now most people think it is just a matter of time before we meet the Vulcans. I wanted to challenge that assumption. Drama can be generated in a story that flies in the face of the odds. One might also assume that religion will decline over the centuries. That trend might reverse if we fail to discover intelligent aliens. Another opportunity for drama.

Excellent! Here is to the search for aliens and if they suck, may they stay secluded in their corner of the coperniverse! Go LIKE the film on FB so we can convince producers to invest in the film. You can read blog posts from the film’s universe at: http://WhereAreTheAliens.us

That’s the opening of a Western style yarn set in a science fiction short story called Parsec Hiccup which tries to set straight, once and for all, which musical genre is superior: classical or Rock.

The story is available in Argosy Magazine Volume 1: Fantastic Frontiers. Argosy launched December (2013) and first off I have to give a BIG THANK YOU to my readers who supported its launch by donating to their crowd funding campaign!

And another THANK YOU from Argosy’s editor, Daniel Bazinga. His science fiction and fantasy credentials are undeniable as he has edited and contributed to a number of fantasy tabletop RPG publications. Daniel has carefully crafted Argosy Magazine to show its pulp origins through styling the cover’s typeface to bleed as if run through an actual printing press on pulp paper.

You can purchase an electronic copy at Smashwords (many formats supported) and on Amazon.

AGILE NOIR (English Edition)

As I finish work on Agile Noir, a dramatic business novel which is not only enjoyable to read but teaches you about Agile software development, I want to show you the novel’s great book covers. These covers for Agile Noir (the English edition and the Mandarin edition) were crafted by talented artist Fauji M. Bardah.

Noir

Noir is French for black however it means more than that. Noir mystery is a subgenere where at the start of the novel, things aren’t going well for the character and try as he might, things continue to go south until in the end, the character achieves some goal which relieves much of the tension, however there’s still a feeling that the character is unsatisfied although feels lucky to have survived.

Noir Book Covers

Both book covers exhibit the noir style.  In the English edition it’s night and has a smokey/foggy backdrop and shows the main character, Kartar is in serious trouble. Go ahead and click on the cover to see it’s full size and you’ll see more details.  Kartar is on the run from beautiful killers who are going to make him pay for delivering his project late. His laptop shows the words “Deliver or Die !!” The street has painted in neon lines is his boss’s Gantt chart.  Some of the buildings on the left side of the street display words about software life cycles such as eXtreme Programming (XP), Waterfall, and Scrum.

AGILE NOIR (Simplified Chinese Edition)

The Mandarin edition’s cover has a black backdrop. The poker chips show the Scrum process diagram and blood. In this edition, the story will be set in Asia’s gambling mecca, Macau.

If your looking for some great graphic art, contact Fauji at g0mug0mupunch@yahoo.com. He’s a talented artist (his internet handle is Bakart) and I highly recommend him.  You can see more of his work on Deviant Art and in other postings on this site. Many of the book covers you see on the right were crafted by him.

January 2011 Digest

Robots and science-fiction are a popular trend these days, especially following films like Star Wars. Due to this form of media entertainment, more people have developed a fascination with the robotic devices that make up a lot of the science fiction universe. Some people believe that it was the popular anime series Robotech that caused so much of the popularity behind robots. The series contains Robotech Wars between the United Earth Forces and the Zentraedi. In the series, Canada, one of the United Earth Government states, becomes affected. Of course, you can find more here about that if you want to. Due to the appeal of programs like Robotech, more people became fans of robots and science fiction, which has led to a number of questions that fans are asking themselves.

An example of one of these questions is “why would an artificial intelligent (A.I.) machine want a cat?” Actually that’s the wrong question. A better question would be, why wouldn’t an artificial person who’s like a person in every way want a cat? Tests designed to determine if someone/something is human or not are called Turing tests. (You know those annoying things web pages ask us to do–compute math or select the correct picture–to see if you’re a robot or not.) Wouldn’t a suitable Turing test check to see if you have an interest in pets?

By definition, an artificial person should be the same as a regular person except manufactured in a non-biological way. An A.I. should be able to pass a Turing test. Today we accept that our artificial constructs which we call A.I., really don’t have much intelligence and know that they cannot pass the Turing test. In the movie Blade Runner the humans are finding it harder and harder to differentiate robots from humans, and finally Harrison Ford’s character whose job is to conduct Turing tests realizes that he’s unable to tell if the woman he’s in love with is a robot (artificial person) or not. Later he learns that she has no mother or father, but no behavioral test could reveal this because she was programmed with the memories of a detailed childhood.

Back to cats. In my novelette Bit Storm, software engineer Diff’s A.I. demands that Diff get a pet. Diff resists because he wants Jack, the A.I. machine, to finish their work first, but eventually Jack guilts Diff into doing it. (Diff’s going to a Halloween party while Jack stays at the office, so fair’s fair and Diff decides to get Jack the pet.) Unfortunately for the both of them the pet is more than meets the eye and Diff’s Halloween party turns into a nightmare.

Not only is Bit Storm available as a stand alone novelette, for a little more it’s also part of a digest from the fine folks at Daily Science Fiction, along side stories from: Edoardo Albert, Barbara A. Barnett, Jacquelyn Bartel, Nicky Drayden, Tim Pratt, Jenn Reese, Heather Shaw, Greg van Eekhout, Karina Fabian, Elena Gleason, Michelle Ann King, Terra LeMay, Shelly Li, Melissa Mead, James Van Pelt, Victoria Podmajersky, Christian Roberts, Victoria Sonata, Eric James Stone, and Lavie Tidhar.

Argosy Magazine

Argosy Magazine is coming back to the world as an ebook.  Argosy Magazine is one of the, if not THE original pulp magazine. It came out in the UK when publishing on pulp paper was cutting edge.  Argosy’s Fantastic Frontiers volume will feature a science fiction story I wrote called Parsec Hiccup, a western style tale about a meteoroid mining  camp that’s the site of a love triangle that turns into a musical battle for the fittest.

You can get a copy here, then you can figure out for once and for all, which musical genre is better: Rock or Jazz.

More about Argosy’s History

Then you go to the costume shop’s mirror, open the bottle, and tip it over your head releasing trillions of bits of particles that glide en masse around you, forming a costume about your body, pressing itself into and against your clothes (if you’re wearing any), changing color, and binding to other bits until in moments, you’re wearing a pirate costume customized to fit your form factor!

Now imagine what it would be like if something went wrong and it happened at a Halloween party, and someone wanted it to go wrong to prove a point. This is what happens in Bit Storm, a novelette that won Honorable Mention in the Writers of the Future contest. So get yourself a scifi Halloween read for 99 cents at Amazon, and learn what happens when high tech good guys meet a high tech psychopath.

So mark your calendars!  You can get Honolulu Hottie for free on Amazon on September 27 (Friday) until September 30 (Monday).  Get it on your Kindle and read it at the beach, in your car, at your desk, whatever. It’ll take you to a future where Hawaii deals with rising sea levels and sly mega corporations.

If you’re still not convinced, here is a book trailer to nurture your appetite.

As a highly paid, top-notch, software professional, Diff has it made. He wears black t-shirts and jeans to work, his co-worker is an AI (Artificial Intelligent machine), and he has time to play online games. All this and a girlfriend who games too.

But Diff’s easy life becomes complicated: the AI wants a pet cat, and a political antagonist named SickDevil has decided Diff is his new best friend. Neither problem is a show-stopper until SickDevil tries to prove his social Darwinism theories making Diff’s Halloween party not only a fight to the death, but a fight to the nano. […]

I went back to twitter and promptly lambasted my critical friend for being lazy and if he didn’t want to read fiction about nanotechnology, AI machines, and a Halloween party, he should go back to reading whatever slew of YA girl angst books that forty-year-old software engineer dads in the Bay Area enjoy as a guilty pleasure.

He responded with this:

Given the importance of what they do, and the controversies that often surround them, and the violent people they sometimes confront, it is remarkable that in the history of this country only four active federal judges have been murdered.

Judge Raymond Fawcett has just become number five. […]

This blurb is doing some different things. The sample came from John Grisham (The Racketeer), an author who sells an awesome number of books. The blurb’s opening uses italics AND bold. Outside these typeface enhancements, I’m not sure it’s outright superior. It’s using a different angle to hook readers. However, I am suspicious of myself of being lazy when it comes to marketing so I took up the challenge and rewrote the blurb. I ended up liking it more so I used it on Amazon.

War is as natural as breathing to a society. To be unskilled at war is to cease to exist. Compassion is exercised only when risk is minimal. You wouldn’t put yourself at risk to save another because that would be irrational.

Successful societies are more skilled at war than compassion.

Diff admires and is annoyed by SickDevil, a skilled nanotechnology engineer who crashes game servers and pickets peace rallies for fun. SickDevil claims an AI (Artificially Intelligent machine) would concur with his philosophy. Diff agrees to let his employer’s AI run a simulation to prove SickDevil wrong so he can knock SickDevil down a peg and trash SickDevil’s internet reputation.

But SickDevil pulls a fast one: the simulation transforms into a virus that reprograms nano-technology to produce warlike societies that turns Diff’s Halloween party into a fight for survival.[…]

I then went back and apologized for accusing him of seeding his bookshelves of Math Algorithms and Python books with girl angst books. In the end, it was the the friendship bracelet that won him over.  We hugged and went back to being friends.

Do you agree the new blurb is more engaging?

The comments are open!

Oh, how I work so hard for you. I think through thousands of ideas, write them down, and then throw out 999 of them.  Then I write it, then I revise it maybe three times, and then find someone both awesome and authoritative to give me feedback whereupon I revise it another two to three times.  Is it good enough yet? Did you buy the novelette that I slaved over for days? You haven’t? Sigh, OK. You haven’t clicked buy on Amazon? Still unsure? Alright, I’ll come up with something else…

…a book trailer. You know, those short films they play before the movie you’re going to see. The short film gives you a sample of the story so you get excited about the movie you’re not there to see… yet.

People like videos. And you don’t even have to “read.” I can make a “short” that tells you about the story in an entertaining way so you’ll buy the story. Just like the big movies. OK, dear reader. I’ll do that. Just for you. Here is my YouTube science fiction book channel!

I know how you like that I work hard for you. It’s what drives our relationship—producer to consumer. Author to reader. If you want to tell me what else you’d like, add a comment and I’ll see what I can do.

Hugs and kisses,

Lancer

Have you ever had someone tell you “if you don’t like it here, then leave.” When the nation states of Earth get interstellar travel capabilities, that’s exactly what some do. Governments fund voyages by giant spacecraft which spend multiple generations traveling to Earth-like planets. Arcadie, a jewish boy grown up on a generation ship, is excited that his generation finish the half a millennia voyage, that they will create a home free from and out of reach of the problems they had on Earth. But fate rarely deals the hand you want.

“If Lancer Kind’s MEMORY’S VICTIMS doesn’t raise your hackles, you’d better have them checked.” ―Harry Turtledove

Memory’s Victims is available as a Kindle book. Here’s a cool video about the book: Memorys-Victims.m4v or you may view it on YouTube. If you wish to get a copy of the book, click here and you’ll go to Amazon.

The tag cloud on the right has more articles about Memory’s Victims.

Did you enjoy the 2009 Star Trek movie where JJ Abrams made his mark? Did you view the mark as a blemish or a crest? Review Why Trekkies hate the ’09 Star Trek movie to refresh the mind because science fiction pundits Lancer Kind and Hal Dace are going it again with this pre movie release special.

Hal, I was so excited to see a new Abrams Trek was coming out, I threw out all of my Babylon 5 figurines to make room for NuKirk and NuSpock.

You shouldn’t have done it Lancer. Not only is B5 director JM Straczynski going to bitch slap you, those B5 toys are going to be worth a lot more than some emo, Beiberesque, NuTrek plastic-shit.

Dude! Don’t talk that way. You know I was right to love the 2009 movie. This is what Wikipedia said about the last one. It outsold any previous Star Trek film! You’re sounding like a fuddy duddy.

Official screenings in the United States started at 7 pm on May 7, 2009, grossing $4 million on its opening day. By the end of the weekend, Star Trek had opened with $79,204,300, as well as $35,500,000 from other countries. Adjusted and unadjusted for inflation, it beat Star Trek: First Contact for the largest American opening for a Star Trek film. The film made US$8.5 million from its IMAX screenings, breaking The Dark Knight’s $6.3 million IMAX opening record. The film is the highest-grossing in the United States and Canada from the entire Star Trek film franchise, eclipsing The Voyage Home and Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Its opening weekend numbers alone outgross the entire individual runs of The Undiscovered Country, The Final Frontier, Insurrection and Nemesis. Star Trek ended its United States theatrical run on October 1, 2009, with a box office total of $257,730,019, which currently places it as the seventh highest-grossing film for 2009 behind The Hangover. The film grossed $127,764,536 in international markets, for a total worldwide gross of $385,494,555. While foreign grosses represent only 31% of the total box office receipts, executives of Paramount were happy with the international sales, as Star Trek historically was a movie franchise that never has been a big draw overseas.

I’m giving you a direct order: Lancer, to stick to writing books and leave the “what’s and what’s not Trek” to dyed in the wool Trekkies like myself.

Don’t be so Starfleet Command. Throw me a bone here. What’s going to go wrong in the next movie?

Throw you a bone? Hell, here’s a checklist of ’em.

Trek Purity test

1. Kirk acts as a diplomat.
2. Spock cannot conduct a romantic relationship.
3. Spock doesn’t get laid. (Outside of Pon Farr.)
4. Spock uses the neck pinch or mind meld.
5. A deep moral dilemma is presented and resolved.
6. McCoy cures a disease.
7. Scotty saves the ship.
8. Star Fleet Command trusts Kirk’s judgement. (It’s cliche drama to fight with idiot boss.)
9. Romulans are lawful evil (to borrow a AD&D term): honorable, noble imperialists who’ll use torture that causes no permanent damage.
10. Convincing technobabble that doesn’t violate the laws of physics.
11. Uhurah sings a song.

That’s a good list and I agree that those points will be in any good Trek movie. Let’s talk predictions as to how the next film will do based on this list. This is Abrams second Trek movie. He’s probably heard plenty of bitching and I’m certain he’s bookmarked, and studied Why Trekkies hate the ’09 Star Trek movie. So he has a better chance of making more of the Starfleet Academy bumper sticker crowd happy. I really enjoyed the last movie although agree with you on several of your grievances. I differ in that I think the franchise needs to evolve as society does. I’m with you in that it’s a grave loss to screw up the science and violate internal consistency. And I also think more story telling of a utopian future would be interesting although harder to write but Abrams clearly isn’t interested.

I predict that since Trek11 (2009) did time travel, there will be none this time to avoid the audience tiring of that trick. I think Into Darkness will fail the first three checklist items and then come on strong for the next four, and finally Uhurah sings and Spock’ll do something Vulcan, putting the film at six out of eleven. I think this will allow the movie to be a great commercial success yet maintain most of the Trekkie fan base, thereby bringing fresh viewers into the Trek fold.

It’ll be Star Wars: nonstop action, no strategy, no thoughtful moments. I say the next film fails all of the tests. A complete 0.

How much money are you willing to bet that my prediction is closer than yours?

You sound like a confident man. Forget money. I want the B5 set rescued from the garbage and delivered to me if I win.

Deal!

Print this handy checklist and take it with you to the theater. And each time the movie earns a check, stand up, flip open your cell phone and shout “beam me up Scotty!,” and the rest of the audience will applaud. If they don’t applaud, they didn’t read this blog and you don’t give a damn because they ain’t Trekkies.

Go ahead and vote!

Don’t have $4.99? Other than the fact that Sally Struthers will be ringing your phone (if you have one) to see what’s up, for 99 cents you can vote for an already nominated name (yes, democracy does cost a little).

So whether you are a leader or a follower, you have influence in preventing the future school children of little Bb (you cry like a Bb) from being beat up when they travel to other planets.

Akiya’s back is against the wall. His tribe’s counting on him to transport deer to a neighboring tribe. His dad’s counting on him not to be an embarrassment. His brother and friends won’t help him because they’re more interested in the lifestyle portrayed by new arrivals, music television evangelists. So getting slain deer home is all on Akiya’s shoulders.

How does your worst day compare with Akiya’s?

What do you think Akiya should do?

To check your answers and be entertained, go download Caveman Funk to your Kindle for less than the cost of a latte.

Size Doesn't Matter

Angel Red

Honolulu Hottie

Check out his work in the Slodive feature and he has more on DeviantArt.  And if you want to find out why the above Samoan is watching this woman on his monitors, get Honolulu Hottie for your Kindle reader.

But is it a fairy tale?

I and Scott T. Goudsward, one of the editors of Once Upon an Apocalypse, discussed this.

My answer was “yes” based on the following criteria:

• It’s a well known tale — Just like Humptey Dumpty or Jack & the Beanstalk, The Dukes of Hazzard is a cross cultural story that many are familiar with.
• It’s been updated to fit our times — The Dukes of Hazzard, same as the Grimm tales, have been adapted as times goes by and is available in multiple formats

• During its initial 6 year run, the show survived a contract dispute that sent characters Bo and Luke leaving the show to race in NASCAR, the real NASCAR, not the fantasy games people can play now thanks to FanDuel and the likes, imagine that – driving in a show to go on and race in an arena like NASCAR. In their place came two parallel universe brothers (well, not really explained in cosmological terms) Coy and Vance who were practically twins of the brothers.
• There was an animated series.
• Duke video games were made in various formats over the last twenty years (since Colecovision!).
• The tale was brought to a newer generation with the 2005 movie and then another TV series for 2007 (The Dukes: The Beginning).

• The tale’s mythos is supported by other branches of art such as the Dukes’ theme song by Waylen Jennings is a lasting classic. Waylen’s song refers to the Dukes as being “like modern day Robin Hoods.” So Waylen thinks the Dukes are fairy tale too!
• Like the occasional Brother’s Grimm museums of Europe, you’ll find Duke museums in Tennessee.

It’s safe to say the Dukes of Hazzard is a cultural meme, which is another way of saying it’s as much as a fairy tale as tales such as Little Red Riding Hood. I won’t be at all surprised to someday see a flying car called “General Lee.”

Dukes of Hazzard, The Beginning (2007)

?

As an author, I get to create characters that are bad people. In “Better than God,” I plausibly simulate a very rich jerk who likes to show others he’s the boss, to the point of getting away with murder. This story has been published in a book filled with stories of people doing bad things, called Malicious Deviance. Its editor, Robert Essig, sent me a message about how he found the story a little offensive, and that’s why he wanted to buy it for the anthology. The anthology’s published by Library of Horror Press so it’s loaded with stories that are better than a triple latte for staying up at night (my mom had to force herself to stop reading James A Sabata’s “Gossip Hounds of Sherry Town” so she could sleep). The anthology was reviewed by HellNotes. My story, “Better than God,” is about this very successful jerk who owns a Ferrari and knows how to use it. What could be so offensive about that?

Some may say that to write such a character, I must have quite the inner jerk. And to that I say, NO! Maybe there have been causes where I was a jerk to you, dear reader, or perhaps I was just “writing.” For like Brad Pitt who is just acting handsome for the cameras (Angelina Joli says he has a horrendous beer belly), a writer who misbehaves so he can tap the correct keys on his keyboard, is just writing.

To everyone who wishes to defame my character, you’re wrong! I’m not a jerk–I’m writing. I might not actually look towards a California defamation lawyer for such instances, so if you do feel as though I am malicious when writing, I might very well be. So I’ll not apologize for working on my craft. Someone has to suffer for art, so it might as well be you.

Do you agree? Take control of the world, even though it’s only one corner, but hey, if the world was square, you’d have 1/4 of it. So take control by answering the below poll. Defame Lancer’s character or cover the man’s back.

Those registered for Rennovation, this year’s World Science Fiction Convention, or those who attended (or supported) last year’s AussieCon get to vote for the Hugos. Last year, my pal Will McIntosh was nominated for a Hugo for best short story. After giving him the excellent exposure my blog affords, Will went on and WON BEST SHORT STORY! And he’s not the only author to whom this blog has brought great success. Kij Johnson and I needed to only discuss doing an interview and viola! She takes home a Nebula Award.

This year, I expect equally great outcomes.

Your Mission:

Last year I signed up to be a supporting member of AussieCon because my fellow Seattleite and friend Tim McDaniel wrote a story with a really long title that’s so good, I was obligated to pay to be a supporting member so I could nominate his story this year.  Now I need you to help me lock down his nomination and continue the streak of making the Hugos right. (If we let the Hugos go wrong, then I need to screw with a time machine to correct history and I don’t want to deal with that hassle. Try finding a time machine rental on short notice!) So if you’re eligible or know someone who is, get to the Hugo voting page and:

• cast your vote for Best Short Story, Tim McDaniel’s “They Laughed at Me in Vienna…” first published in Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine (April/May 2010), and
• for Best Editor, Short Form, vote for Eric T. Reynolds. Eric has been busy editing great science fiction like Ruins Terra, (the book cover on the right side of this web page). The man has been working his shirt off (like Shatner) to put together great fiction for you to read.

If you’ve been thinking about going to the World Science Fiction Convention in Reno, then hop to it and then vote.  Help make the Hugos right.  March 26th this month is the deadline. Go here to vote.

Friend them on FaceBook, I know the trees have.

Bit Storm, a story about an AI that wanted a cat and an engineer that wanted to get work done, has already been bit storming in the email boxes of Daily Science Fiction’s subscribers. (Go to their site and subscribe for free.) On Jan 14th, it’ll also be available on their Internet site.  (Hand-crafted electrons and glue stick. A very small glue stick.)

If you’ve read Bit Storm, leave a comment about it on their wall.

’09 Star Trek 11

Hal and I were talking science fiction over beers one night, and for some reason Hal started listing a number of well thought out reasons why I shouldn’t have enjoyed the latest Trek. Before you could read this recounting, I used a high-tech, Xindi web technology to protected Hal Dace‘s identity from the hordes of people fooled into believing Star Trek 11 was a great movie.

Hal, you’re insane! The last movie was fantastic! Rebellious young Kirk, space battles, and another cool looking Enterprise. To jog your memory, it might be worth visiting Pirates Bay to try and watch the movie again. That way, you can make your own mind up. Personally, I think it’s a really good movie.

A Trek fan you may be, but a Trekkie you’re not. I’ve owned a Spock costume, both Enterprise sets of blueprints, the original ST Concordance, an action figure Spock, The Stare Fleet Technical Manual, The Physics of Star Trek, several “making of” books. I’ve studied the Star Trek canon and Trek 11 broke it often.

Shatner warned me about people like you! But since you’re buying the beer, let’s hear it: why is Star Trek 11 a fall from the garden?

The biggest reason for TOS’s (The Original Series of Star Trek which started in 1966) success was bringing together four elements: character-lead drama, intelligent analysis of scientific ideas, adventure, and a very positive approach to the future. It’s not easy, is rarely achieved, and Gene Roddenberry insured TNG (Star Trek–The Next Generation) kept to this rigorous formula. With Roddenberry gone, there has been greater experimentation.

Come on man! Paramount Pictures is based in California; there’s going to be more experimentation than a co-ed dormitory.

The most notable drifts have come with the darker dramas of DS9 (Deep Space 9) & Enterprise. I accepted it because all other elements were consistent with TOS values. In any future history there’ll be bright and dark stories.

DS 9 is a rough reflection of the Palestine-Israel conflict: suicide bombings in crowded markets, the Bajoran faith driving Bajoran policies. Enterprise turned into a “post 911 story” where an organization that seemed to have no home world attacked Earth.

In TOS, the Federation always took the high road. In DS9 and Enterprise, the Federation did a lot of things in the gray to sometimes even black. Star Trek 11 went too far in allowing our future to appear dark and there are too many inconsistencies. The tagline was, “This is not your Dad’s Star Trek.”

I was exhausted of the usual Star Trek stories. The movie before this one started with finding Data’s head, like a TV episode. I went to see the cool effects and the Borg but didn’t greatly care about the characters because they’d finish the movie with their dignity intact and no great character change (except for killing Spock). I liked what Federation did in the beginning although the writing was too derivative of TOS episodes. When it was clear Star Trek 11 was going the direction of Federation but sexed up, I hoped I’d see something that didn’t boil down to a 1960’s TOS episode.

Yes. Initially, I liked the idea of showing TOS characters at Star Fleet Academy. I didn’t even mind too much the idea of a permanent change to the original timeline. However, the producers made too many random changes to the original characters, values, and details, suggesting a simple lack of care and attention required by Trekkies. Leaving behind the Trekkies was a major mistake that will be regretted with time.

That sounded like a threat! Shatner was right about you guys! ‘Emo’ Spock worked for me. I was in love with Uhura as a kid so seeing a hot looking Uhura again was most excellent. Kirk womanizing, again! This was revelatory because until this movie, I thought Kirk was getting the chicks because of the captain’s uniform. The movie teasers got me excited, like that scene of cornfields and then in the distance, a starship construction yard. I wasn’t let down like some Trek movies did when I finally saw it on the big screen.

Yes, it’s easy to enjoy the glittery MTV-like Star Trek movie, dumbed down for your consumption. And you’ve just struck upon number 10 on my list: starships are never built on Earth, not to mention Iowa.

Ouch! OK, you have at least ten reasons. What one thing would you tell the producers of Star Trek 12 that they must do to be lauded by Trekkies? Remember, the film still has to be interesting enough to make money.

Don’t make the story about good guys and bad guys. Make it about exploration of a new planet that has strange life that raises ethical questions. Allow the adventure to build slowly until completely out of the blue the whole universe is threatened and Kirk & Spock save it. It’s not easy, but then it shouldn’t be, should it?

Hal, Hal, when did your work pull out your heart and replace it with a critic’s cold, calculating movie caliper?

Lancer, it comes with the territory. Star Trek 11 was just lazy movie making. Here are 55 points about why I feel this way:

1. They’re too arrogant to provide a subtitle.
2. A woman is sucked into space and sound effects fade, denoting the silence of space. The rest of the film sticks with the tradition of sound effects in space. This is annoying.
3. It feels more like Star Wars than Star Trek which, in my opinion, accounts for its unearned success (it’s been dumbed down). It is important to remember that one of the reasons kids in the 70s made fun of their Trekkie fellow students is because the Trekkies were nerds. Star Trek is supposed to be for nerds because it’s more intelligent than Star Wars. Most people who never liked Star Trek always pointed out that they didn’t want intelligent drama, just soap operas. Well, now they’ve got what they wanted and the true Trekkies have been left behind.
4. The Corvette scene directly contradicts Roddenberry’s vision of a future Earth as paradise; a place where parents are consistently loving, even step-parents, and that teenage rebellion has become rather rare due to the universal acceptance of the precept of personal achievement. A policeman would never appear dystopian. There are no canyons in Iowa. The scene is a cheap trick to wow the audience, and Kirk was never depicted as rebellious in nature (i.e. – they’ve changed the basic nature of his character which is simply unacceptable).
5. Sorry, I just don’t believe Vulcan children bully one another.
6. Spocks’s accents are completely inconsistent. It should be mid-Atlantic.
7. Uhura is from the United States of Africa and speaks Swahili. There really should have been at least the smallest reference to this. I personally found the dropping of the romance between Spock and Chapel to be very sad. The romance with Uhura is illogical! Vulcans only engage in romantic activities during the Pon farr. How could they drop this most basic of Star Trek elements?
8. In the TOS episode The Menagerie it is made clear Kirk only barely knew Pike.
9. Starships then never had more than a crew of 430.
10. Spaceships are never built on Earth, not to mention Iowa.
11. There’s no reason why Star Fleet would have any major facilities in Iowa (just because Kirk grew up there?).
12. It is too contrived that McCoy would refer to his bones.
13. Nero is depicted like an avenging human. Romulans, even disturbed ones, simply don’t act like this.
14. Nero’s dialog never rises above cheap exposition.
15. Orions do not join Star Fleet.
16. Why would McCoy be at the navigation station? No other version of ST ever made basic mistakes like this.
17. The Kobayashi Maru tests character and therefore can only be taken once. When a person already knows it’s a no-win scenario it is pointless to test a person again. Kirk would never have been allowed to take the test twice. In The Wrath of Khan the suggestion is that somehow Kirk knew the purpose of the test before taking it the first time, which makes sense. This doesn’t.
18. Spock refers to the Kobayashi Maru as, “a lesson”. Clearly it is not a lesson, it is a test.
19. Star Fleet Academy would never punish Kirk for the Kobayashi Maru incident, let alone put him up for trial in front of his classmates. Hopelessly stupid storytelling.
20. The constant fake lens flares are annoying.
21. Uhura bullying Spock to get on the Enterprise is ridiculous. This is the military. Things just don’t happen like that.
22. The depiction of how Kirk gets on the Enterprise is ridiculous.
23. San Francisco is ugly, like it’s supposed to be a dystopian future.
24. Why does Vulcan need help? Vulcan is more advanced than Earth and has many more ships. Furthermore, the Neutral Zone is mentioned as if everyone knows what it is. At this time in future history very few people knew about the Neutral Zone and the Romulans were a very mysterious species. For once some exposition would have been appropriate.
25. It takes longer than a few minutes to get to Vulcan. The dialog suggests it takes only a few minutes.
26. If they knew that going to Vulcan was a trap, why did they walk into it?
27. Why are torpedoes loaded manually on the Enterprise?
28. Romulans always speak very formally, just like Vulcans. Neither do so in this story.
29. Humans are depicted falling from orbit to just a couple of miles above Vulcan’s surface. Why don’t they burn up like meteors?
30. Sword fighting between the Romulan & Sulu is silly.
31. The drill idea is preposterous. The vast majority of the interior of any planet is made of liquid. A drill would simply have no effect.
32. Why didn’t anyone shoot at the red matter torpedo as it headed towards the drill hole? Also, Gene Roddenberry would never have allowed an event as dark as the destruction of Vulcan to occur.
33. It is too contrived that Kirk’s parachute should break.
34. They wouldn’t fall on the transporter pad just because they were falling when energized.
35. Why is it that Chekov can catch falling crewmen but not falling mothers?
36. Captains don’t verbally record their logs in front of the crew.
37. It’s unmotivated and contrived that Uhura would suddenly kiss Spock and he would hug and kiss back.This is the most obscene contradiction with the real ST universe. Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, knows Spock doesn’t show emotion.
38. Nero’s character is too monstrous without proper explanation. He’s not even a two-dimensional character and ST has always been excellent at providing proper motivation for its villains. This is simply not good enough.
39. Nero’s ship’s so powerful, his torturing of Pike serves no purpose. Gratuitous nonsense.
40. Why would Spock ask a communications officer (Uhura) which direction a ship is headed?
41. The talk of an alternate reality is completely unnecessary exposition. They would never have this conversation. Science fiction characters should only ever worry about changing the past. It should never occur to them that their future has been changed while in the middle of a conflict. They might briefly reflect on it when it’s all over, but it has no bearing on the conflict itself and so would never be mentioned.
42. Spock twice uses the word “destiny”. This concept is simple superstition and Spock would never use this word.
43. Spock was emotional in expelling Kirk; the brig would have been fine.
44. It’s inconsistent that Nero’s ship was able to destroy several Star Fleet ships in just a few seconds, but George Kirk’s ship (the Kelvin) was never destroyed and was able to protect shuttlecraft and ram Nero’s ship. Nero would easily have killed everyone on the Kelvin and hence no Jim Kirk, hence no story. In other words, Nero’s ship’s abilities change with the requirements of the writers; this is the definition of a contrivance and is the second biggest crime of the producers of this movie.
45. Spock asks, “You are not the captain?” Since he is not aware of the precise circumstances of the new timeline, his assumption that a 21 year-old would be captain is preposterous.
46. Why would a powerful empire like Romulus need Spock’s help to survive a nova? Novas are always predictable at least thousands of years in advance. The Romulans would have been well prepared, again, rendering the whole story implausible.
47. Scott’s materialization and trek through large transparent piping in the engineering section seems more appropriate to Willy Wonka.
48. Spock would never say fear is necessary for command, because fear is an emotion.
49. Scott says he’s beaming them to an unoccupied section of Nero’s ship. There is no acceptable explanation for why he failed. They have sensors. Star Fleet characters always know whether there are people about when using the transporter. Again, totally contrived.
50. The fist fight between Nero & Kirk is unmotivated and Romulans just don’t act like that.
51. I don’t like old Spock telling young Spock to put aside logic. Spock is logical and he should stay logical.
52. Why is McCoy always on the bridge?
53. Spock’s called a commander, but his rank at this time of the future history was lieutenant.
54. Again with the preposterous drilling of a planet, this time Earth.
55. Apparently black holes are taken for granted as being transportation hubs through both space and time. As we know, this is not true (notwithstanding string theory, which is unproven and extremely unlikely). Real Star Trek always provides at least a bare minimum of technobabble to explain why known physics have been circumvented for the sake of story. The producers of this film couldn’t be bothered. Lazy.

Other reviews of the movie:

Hal’s not the only one. Others have decried the movie and the criticism does seem to stem from the more Star Fleet Academy bumper sticker crowd, IE the far-out (sounds better than calling them the far left/right):

http://cinefantastiqueonline.com/2009/05/star-trek-one-trekkies-thoughts-film-review/

The comments connected with the Star Trek 11 trailer are grassroots movie reviews: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcFLgkCKi1Q

Some of my hardcore–geek twitter friends say:

I invite the readers to add comments and more review links. Commenting on this blog site is free of hoop-jumping–no activation email nonsense. Enter your contact email in the form below along with your comment and then blamo! Trekkies that agree or disagree and Trek fans that agree or disagree, this blog loves angry letters or “yeah, that’s so right on!!” responses. The comment field is right below. Have at it!

In SciFi stories, people aren’t reading using parts of dead trees. They’re using some cool holo-something or thin e-paper thingy. Nowadays, we can read books with devices similar to scifi characters, and the devices are improving every generation. Two I’d like to talk about are the Kindle and Calibre.

Kindle

Kindle devices are pretty cheap at under $300 or $200 (model depending). My experience has been with Kindle software on the iPhone, and OSX. Kindle software can be downloaded for free from Amazon.(Windows, OSX, and other phone devices.) There’re benefits to using an ebook reader instead of a paper book. My favorites are: within seconds, you can start reading a book you found online (this is important because with the coming of The Singularity we don’t have much time to read); the ability to highlight text and then see a report on how many other people highlighted the same area (ever wonder how many other people thought some line deserved highlighting?); and clicking on any word in the text and getting its definition (China Mie’ville and William Gibson, you make me work so hard ;-)).

Yes, I’m saying that reading ebooks will expand your vocabulary more quickly and with less effort than standard books! Face it. Sometimes we get tired of thumbing through the dictionary and decide to guess the word by context so we can just keep reading the damn story.

The biggest drawback to the Kindle is that you can ONLY read books you buy from Amazon. (You can get around this by installing the Kindle Previewer–also free from Amazon, and then using the previewer’s “view->open on Kindle for Mac/PC” option, and the previewer will send the book to your Kindle software.)

All in all, though, I am a big fan of my Kindle. I am always ordering things from Amazon nowadays so it is really easy and convenient to be able to add an eBook to my shopping basket. Which reminds me, do you do any of your shopping on Amazon? If so, you absolutely need to start using some of their promo codes and coupons. I have saved a small fortune on my purchases recently thanks to all of the discounts that I have been getting. Correspondingly, if you would like to learn more about some of the most recent Amazon promo codes, you can find plenty of useful resources on the Raise website. In my opinion, there is nothing quite like knowing that you have saved money on your shopping!

Calibre

Calibre is an open source project that produces a free reader for the big three computer platforms: OSX, Linux, and Windows. Calibre allows you to download books from any book you can get your hands on, be it from an email, to an online book repository (can anyone comment if they’ve purchased a book in the Kindle store and then viewed it with Calibre?). Calibre’s UI is busy and isn’t intuitive like the Kindle. It’s a very effective ebook reader but my version (V 0.7.23) has some layout problems because it isn’t honoring section breaks.

Compare the screenshots of Calibre (OSX) and Kindle (iPad version) in the below gallery. (If you hover over the pics, you’ll get the caption in a bubble.) Notice Calibre supports every font my computer supports and displays the custom fonts used in the Honolulu Hottie ebook. The Kindle book supports only two fonts (a serif font and a sans-serif font), italics, bold, and a few sizes of those fonts. Once Calibre supports section breaks, it’ll render books much more beautifully than the Kindle. (You’ll get used Calibre’s strange user interface.) And Calibre will help make you smarter with it’s integrated dictionary.

If you want to give ‘reading like your living in a SciFi story’ a shot, you’ll find plenty of free and cheap reads in Amazon’s Kindle store or you can search around for more open alternatives with Calibre. If you don’t know where to start, click on the Honolulu Hottie book cover on the right side of this webpage and for less than the cost of a latte and within seconds, you can read an exciting Hawaiian cyberpunk novelette about surfing, a beautiful woman, and corporate malfeasance. With an an ebook, groking words like malfeasance, and well grok, are just a finger tap away.

Cyberpunk is considered an old genre (the cool kids are doing steampunk) but it appeals to the mundane science fiction reader in me. It’s mundane because Cyberpunk has similarities to reality, such as the absence of spaceships flitting from star to star at speeds faster than light (at least OUR spaceships). Cyberpunk stories are near future and filled with high-tech lowlifes. It’s a good genre for tales of “warning” because it’s mundane enough to see how our day-to-day life contributes to the tale’s vision.

What’s Hawaiian cyberpunk? Sunglasses and surfboards with datajacks? (Might as well do something with that leash around surfer’s leg.) Honolulu Hottie is my take on it. It’s a novelette which is like a novel but a third of the size because I only kept the good parts. The story’s about Nafi, a world champion surfer who got a regular job but get’s seduced by a political activist. She gets him in trouble, he loses his job, and they’re on the run from a corporate coverup that requires them dead. Surfboards, datajacks, crime, and poy. You know, Hawaiian cyberpunk.

Honolulu Hottie is live on the Kindle for $3.00 to the worldwide public.

Available in the Kindle Store

I’ll close with a surfer’s farewell: if you decide to ride that giant swell cresting the horizon, remember to keep the waxy side of the board up, the fin side down, and your datajacks rust free.

Check out Alexander Veer’s writeup about how the movie The Day After changed everything in a powerful wave of activist science fiction.

Frankly, Lucas Films has made it an organizational mess. It took me a few hours of IMDB, Wikipedia, and Google research to figure out what there was to watch and in what order to watch them. Here is my prescription for catching up in four steps.

Step 1, watch the live action movies

The first two movies are the setup for the cartoons. Their names are: Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones, and Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith. These are usually held in high regard by fans of the franchise (such as those who write on https://thedirect.com/StarWars/ and the like). If you are a very orderly person, you may opt to not watch episode 3 until you do steps 2-4. But I’m not very orderly so I recommend watching the live action movies first, and because sometimes it’s nice to know where a character is headed, and then watch that character at an earlier time and see how he struggles along that path. I love watching these movies with my whole house audio systems. They make the movies so much better.

Step 2, Go for an Adult Swim

Lucas wanted you to have something to do after watching Episode 2 Attack of the Clones in 2002, until he released Episode 3 Revenge of the Sith. So he gave you cartoon shorts. They were released in 2003, 2004, 2005 as teasers (sometimes on TV, sometimes in the theater). Notice the “Adult Swim” rough and minimal style of animation on the front cover. This series of shorts (also called the “micro” series) was later combined to make a large narrative about what Anni had been up to between Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones, and Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith. I enjoyed watching it very much. It’s an example of doing narrative with sparse dialog and lots of showing.

Step 3, Star Wars: Clone Wars movie

Notice the distinctive difference in animation on the movie poster versus the “Adult Swim” style. This movie was used to kick off the TV series in Step 4.

Step 4, Star Wars: The Clone Wars TV series

This TV series ran immediately after the animated movie and is still running today (crica 2010). The animation style is the same as that of the movie. As of now, only two seasons are out in blu-ray.

Now go to Amazon or NetFlicks and find ways to enjoy the Star Wars experience! (Sorry, JarJar Binks is still included.)

Moreover, on-demand streaming services like HBO Max, Netflix, Amazon Prime have totally changed the way that we are able to enjoy TV shows and movies. You can learn more about HBO Max and check out some of the latest TV and Internet deals here: https://att-bundles.com/. Above all, with exclusive TV programs and films now arriving on streaming services, it is interesting to think about what else the future might hold for streaming. Also, many of the movies on these platforms are only available for specific locations. But you can watch these movies or series by using VPN services and then log in to the application. Alternatively, you can download these movies from external open-source media platforms like Kodi. It is essentially a tool to bring all your content together in one place and share it across numerous devices. But it’s important to use VPN services with Kodi to create a secure connection between your device and its physical servers. Well! If you don’t know how to install vpn on kodi, simply visit the blog pages, where you can find step-by-step instructions to do that. Kodi apps can be vulnerable to a variety of hacks, especially if you’re interested in various third-party add-ons that provide a variety of additional features. If you’re downloading an older version of an add-on or it lacks the necessary security certificates, a Kodi VPN might always provide an extra layer of privacy.

Anyway, according to The Singularity, with technological advancements doubling for the past centuries, we might eventually reach a point where the change in streaming will become so rapid, that society will become wildly unpredictable. This point is called The Singularity.

Once The Singularity hits, your favorite TV show will finish its entire season BEFORE you’ve seen the first episode. This is upsetting because the last episode will be in a new HD format of a 1080googleP, and although it was amazing, it’ll be a commercial disaster because no one knew about it in time to watch its ten second season. (It jumped the shark in the ninth second.)

So before the disaster that is The Singularity, enjoy your leisurely Internet age of daily magazines such as Daily Science Fiction. Visit their website and subscribe, for free, and receive science fiction short stories. The eZine has just started up and will be releasing stories to their subscribers late this Summer/Fall.

One of the stories they’ll send you is a story I wrote called Bit Storm, which received honorable mention in The Writers of the Future contest. Diff makes a living setting up and maintaining an AI for a financial company. He makes the acquaintance of a greifer who goes by Slick Devil who challenges Diff to prove him wrong, that war is a natural and necessary in society and the skilled survive to prey on the weak. Although Diff tries to steer clear, Slick Devil involves him in a disastrous Halloween stunt that risks people’s lives.

As I’m sure there will be stories about life during and post Singularity, it would be irresponsible not to subscribe to Daily Science Fiction. You owe it to yourself to learn as much as possible before The Singularity is upon us. (People addicted to iPhones and PvZ is just a coming herald.)

Subscribe soon, before Daily Science Fiction becomes Hourly Science Fiction or, shudder, Quantum Science Fiction.

So we applied some of the XP practices to writing projects with a little success. But it never revolutionized my approach to producing writing.

Later, after years of doing Agile Consulting, I’ve learned other Agile processes that weren’t so tailored to the task of engineering software. Scrum is a great process that can be applied to the production of anything that you can make a list of “what you want.”

I decided to write a novel that teaches those in the software industry how to use this process, but in an entertaining way. A more direct way would be to become friends with Asim, find friends like Asim, hire me as a consultant, or hire an Agile consultant. But if you can’t do that, then you can learn the principles of Agile development from my novel Agile Noir, which you could read on a flight from Florida to Seattle and ALMOST get the same entertainment value as hanging out in a coffee shop with its author, or his friend Asim (he prefers his name pronounced Awesome, by the way).

What’s so novel about an Agile novel? Well, Agile Noir is the only Agile business novel out there. There are plenty of non-fiction books about Agile but hey, everyone–even non-Agile people–will enjoy reading a novelization about Kartar, a project manager, and how he uses Agile processes to save his project and his life. That’s pretty novel! The other novelty is that Agile Noir is being writing using an Agile process called Scrum. And where XP didn’t fit the writing regime very well, Scrum worked very nicely. For me, plotting a novel came pretty naturally once I knew what I wanted to say. However, if you are in the process of writing a novel and require a few pointers, then head to jerichowriters.com for some useful tips.

Writers who may wish to use Scrum for their writing projects, Agile practitioners who wish to read an informal case study on applying Agile to writing, and readers who are interested in learning more about Agile, will be interested in the “making of” Agile Noir that starts at this page: Using Agile to write Agile Noir. You will find links to photos and videos of me going through the process of using Scrum to write my novel. And since the writing of my novel is still in progress, this page about the making of will continue to grow in an incremental fashion until Agile Noir is finished.

So check it out if you’re interested in Agile, in writing, or wondering what happens when you have friends like Asim who speak dramatically like Darth Vader. All the time.

As an Agile consultant, I explain to my client how to organize their software development teams so they can produce their products in a predictable way. This is often a key factor in the creation of any successful piece of business software, and you can read more about small business software if you’re looking to educate yourself on that. After ten of years experience of doing that, you have all the Q and A down and can quickly help your client through the pitfalls of doing their job differently. You also notice familiar patterns: this client wants to do Agile only to make his boss happy, this other client wants to change their practices without actually changing anything, and this client is willing to try Agile but worries they could lose what tenuous hold they have on keeping their project from spiralling into chaos. If you are in the marketing department then you may want to click here to find some trustworthy and supportive software that gives marketing departments, data analysts, and fulfilment operations the capability to deliver accurate and optimized data. Having good quality software is crucial to ensure that your business runs smoothly. Something like the low-code software development platform “MODELO” from VANTIQ will be extremely useful. It’s also advised to be prepared for when the business grows. As the company gets bigger, there will be more demand. Sometimes, higher demand can result in various issues and outages. To try and keep on top of potential outages, it might also be worth looking into other pieces of software, like office 365 reporting software for example. This can help admins to work out the cause of the problems quickly, reducing the time spent fixing them. This helps businesses to ensure their operations can run effectively.

I spend 90% of my time covering Agile 101 type topics with each new client. What can I do to ‘up the game’ of an entire industry?

Educating the masses with a book is a scalable approach. But there are already a lot of Agile books out there that people aren’t reading.

Perhaps they aren’t the right kind of books. The Agile advocates are reading Agile books, but the people who aren’t doing Agile and don’t enjoy reading about engineering processes in their spare time, aren’t going to pick up a book on Agile. But maybe I can trick them into learning, by writing something entertaining that includes learning about Agile….

What’s a Business Novel?

A business novel is a work of fiction that is designed to illustrate business concepts. The business concepts are non-fiction and effective in the real world. The scenario surrounding the concepts is fiction. Think of it as a detailed case-study that contains more information then a real case-study can possible have (the author knows what characters are thinking and all the details of the situation).

What’s the difference between a work of fiction and a business novel? The goal of a fiction novel is to entertain. The goal of a business novel is to educate. A work of fiction is shelved with its genre (The Pelican Brief is in the Thriller section, for example) where a business novel will be shelved in its non-fiction area of expertise. The business novel I’m working on, Agile Noir, will be shelved in the computer/business section, next to the copies of eXtreme Programming Explained, Agile Software Development with Scrum, Waltzing with Bears, and Who Moved My Cheese? (another business novel).

In any discussion about genre categorization, not everyone agrees. American, a journal of the American Enterprise Institute (AEI), has this list of The Ten Best Business Novels but none of them are business novels. I can’t fault their taste in books. What’s listed are science fiction, thrillers, and mysteries that are set in business environments. A few others are classic industry novels (novels designed to make social commentary on/about people and their industry). I think that author Neal Stephenson would disagree at listing his Cryptonomicon as being a business novel. (I love the book.) Me agreeing with anything the AEI (a conservative “think tank”) has to say is likely never to happen. (My rule of thumb–anyone who uses the US flag in their logo, who is not a governmental agency, is out to manipulate you into thinking they would be better at governing.)

Jeff Cox, author of the best-selling business novel, The Goal, has an article about business novels that is spot on. He knows what he’s talking about. Here is a similar article about business novels is by a consultancy formed around corporate education. They have this nice quote on their website: “Remember – Readers are Leaders.”

As for me, I’ll continue to writing Agile Noir, a story about Kartar, an embattled project manager who works for a Casino in Vegas. As his Waterfall project (non-Agile) gets further and further behind, he discovers that his budget is financed by the mob and will have him killed if he can’t deliver on time. After some setbacks that are classic to the Waterfall software development life cycle, he meets Agile consultant and coach Agilena, an intelligent and beautiful woman, who tries to give Kartar the advice he needs to turn his project and life around.

I’ll be sending book proposal to publishers of business books, many of whom don’t understand business novels. Then it will be my job to explain how together we can profit by publishing non-fiction dressed up in a fictional outfit, and hope I don’t have to write a business novel about the efficacy of business novels.

You can read early drafts of Agile Noir at my Stimulants Online page.

Dear reader, unlike my usual ‘speculative posts,’ Will really is my pal, and he really did get nominated for these very cool awards.  Yes! Really!  I’ve got pictures!  William McIntosh and I worked with each other at the Clarion Writer’s Workshop in 2003.

Editorial: Will forgot to send me a new photo for the interview.  The only photos I have of him are from our Clarion 2003 class.

Sean Melican, William McIntosh, Ben Kuo, Lister, Jamie Kress

REDACTED due to witness protection program, Matt Fitz, Tammy Inman, Jonathan Laden

Douglas Texter, Cathy Morrison, Tom Doyle, Joel Schnack, Lancer Kind

Jamie Kress, Robert Canipe, Ryan Butkus, Douglas Texter, Cathy Morrison

And yes, we occasionaly fed Mr. Waldrop for a job well done.

I couldn’t find a picture of Kyle Phegley, the man behind the camera, so I did a Bing image search for Kyle and found this.  Bing says it’s him:

Kyle Phegley?

But pictures of tired writers who have been writing and critiquing into the wee hours of the night, and then forced to get up early to give critiques (thank you Mr. Waldrop, Nalo Hopkinson, Richard Paul Russo, Scott Edelman, Kelly Link, James Patrick Kelly, Maureen F. McHugh) don’t make good interview pictures.  But Bing’s image search does!

Here’s what searching for McIntosh comes up with:

Which I can only assume are: Will’s cousins, the next two are Will after he uploaded himself into some hardware (a sacrifice necessary to reach the level of story research needed to get a Hugo and Nebula nomination for his short story Bridesicle, about a woman who was stored in a Cyro-freezer).  The beefcake is a photo of Will before he uploaded himself into hardware.  And the last photo, I guess, is Will’s kid sister.

Hey Will!  This is your pal, Lancer Kind.

Lancer?  Lancer?  What a strange name.  I think I remember some unfortunate person going by that once.  I think it was a workshop…

Yes!  You’ve got it bosom buddy!

Will, what gives?  You’re an award hog!  You have not only been nominated for a Hugo,but also a Nebula!

Yes, can you believe that?  I got the call two months ago (Feb 2010) from the Nebulas, for work published in 2009.  And now the Hugo!

To how many of the major publications have you sold short stories?

Bridesicle is the fourth and all of them to Asimov’s.  There are about seven short story markets I’d call majors now: Asimov’s, F&SF, Analog, Realms of Fantasy, Clarkesworld, Tor, and Strange Horizons.

I feel loyalty to Sheila since she was the first of the majors to buy something.  I always send anything new to her first.  I’ll meet her for the first time at the Nebulas.

This year, the World Science Fiction (World Con) convention is in Melbourne, Australia, September 2-6.  Per Word Con tradition, it has local name given by the holders of the convention.  It’s name is AussieCon4.  Since the award ceremony happens during the convention, are you attending AussieCon4 to sit in the audience, wringing your hands, to see if you win?

At first I wasn’t sure, but then how many chances do you get to go to World Science Fiction Convention as a Hugo nominee?  The answer for me may be only one.  So I feel I have to go.  I just can’t miss out on going to the Hugo awards.  But the travel (from Georgia, USA) is brutal and I can’t linger there when my wife is home with our young twins.

Will you hire someone to warm your seat, like the VIPs do at the Oscars?

(laughs, you can tell by the VUE meter.)  Well it really is our Oscars.  You dream about being nominated.  I still can’t believe it’s happened.

How can I skip it?  I just have to go. I hope I know people there.  Scott Edelman will probably be there.

(discussion ensues about how Mr. Edelman seems to be at all the World SF Cons)  Hopefully this blog will help you meet more people.  Especially if I use your pre-uploaded photo:

Are you going to talk on some panels?

The people at World SF Con have asked and I’ll make a final decision if I’ll be there this week.  If so, I’ll likely do what ever Hugo nominees do.

Talking to important people in the bar. 

(laughs) I still feel like I’m someone who should be sitting in the audience listening to the writers.

You’re too modest!  STOP IT!    You need a panel to talk about your fascination with frozen people.   How many votes did you get for the Nebulas?

I got nineteen in the Nebulas.  The top vote getter was 22.  They haven’t reported the Hugo votes yet.

How many people did you have to sleep with to get those votes?

Heh.  I’ll tell you, that’s why it’s so surprising.  With the kids coming, I was too busy to send out many stories in ’09.  One day, someone on the Codex site said to me, ‘Hey you’ve got a lot of votes’  When there was only a day left, I was emailing my friends–‘Hey I’m close!  I’m right there!’

It never even occurred to me that could happen.  With the kids coming, I didn’t get to work much and I only published two stories that year.  I never even dreamed it until someone on Codex mentioned that I was on the voting.

Since we went to Clarion together, I’ve always used used you as a yardstick for my own career.  In 2006 you had accumulated a number of sales and I hadn’t sold much.  So I talked with you about what you were doing and then compared that to what I was doing.  The biggest difference was that you maintained discipline about keeping your stories circulating through the markets.  I’d forget to do that because, at the time, I had only two hours a day to write, so I was a loath to spend any of that time on marketing.  After our conversation, I had the realization why what I was doing wasn’t working.  I made it my New Year’s resolution to write less and that really helped.

So now I have to ask myself the question: How the hell do I get a Neb. or Hugo?  It sounds like one needs to publish in a big distribution magazine and get some buzz as you did.

Yes.  The nominees tend to come from the magazines with the largest readerships whether they are in print or online.  People can’t vote for you unless they’ve read it.  Any of the big ones.  The big four, though I think it’s safe to say the big seven or eight.

Rachel Swirsky had blogged what she was voting and she had picked Bridesicle for best short story.  I think that created a lot of buzz.  She was on the ballot for best Novelette.

How’s your cover letter going to look now?  How about you open with: I’m a Hugo nominee, so you bitches better publish my story.

(Laughs) Some publications just aren’t a good fit for me, even if the story is a great story.  Gorden Van Gelder probably saw my first fifty stories and didn’t buy any of them, though I certainly don’t hold any ill will against him.

My feeling is that F&SF and Gordon really values style–people who are great with words and images–and that’s not me.  Sheila really values a good story and focuses less on the turn of a phrase.  That’s my feeling and that’s how I’ve always distinguished those the two magazines.

Who do you write like?

I write like other people who are very straight forward.  I just tell the story.  I don’t consciously try to create clever ways of saying things.  Perhaps I write like Robert Reed.  He’s always in the ‘Years Best’ anthology because he always creates such great stories.

What was your inspiration for Bridesicle?

I usually just get ideas and they show up as as ideas will, and I just jot them down.  I first wrote the whole story from the perspective a guy who is visiting this cryogenic dating site.  He’s a loser and doesn’t have the money to help any of them, but he wants the attention of a woman, but can’t get it other than from these frozen women.  I wrote the whole thing and then put it out for some of my writing friends to read.  Mary Robinette Kowal said, ‘I think your missing it.  I think you need to write this from the point of view of the woman.’

And you do what you always do when you get feedback that says, throw out the six thousand words you’ve written and start over.  And of course, you go: I don’t want to do that!  I want THIS story to be good.

And you let a little of time pass, and then go back and look at it while going through the stages of grief: death, denial, bargaining, depression, and then finally acceptance, realizing she’s right.  So I re-wrote the story from the beginning and that was Bridesicle.

What other stories have you done major re-writes to and had them turn out to be so successful?

I’m trying tor think about other stories where I have several versions on my hard drive.  I don’t know if other people make file versions.  I always feel if I’m going to re-write, I’m going to screw it up so I make a copy of the file.  The other three I published in Asimov, I did revisions but none were major.  One story, Midnight Blue, I wrote in two days and did ten minutes of revisions.  I wished they were all like that!

I sold one to Interzone called A Clown Escapes from Circus Town and that one had a version number of seven.  That one I kept doing over and over again.  I think every writer has a few of these where you think the idea is good, and you keep trying to write the story, but it’s bad every time.

I have one, about multiple personality disorder where it’s possible to induce the condition without trauma, and do it voluntarily.  A cult is started around this activity.  I’ve completely rewritten this story at least four times, and it’s still no good.  I remember the first time I did it, Joseph Murphy critiqued it and said, ‘you’ve taken an interesting idea and told it in the dullest, driest way possible.’  There are a few writers on Codex where if they tell me it’s no good, it’s no good.  Like Ian Creasy.

He’s like the best critiquer.  Just unbelievable good.  When he tells me it’s not any good, it’s not any good.  When I send him something, I just wait, hoping.  And when he’s finished I just ask, “Is it any good?  Am I going to be able to sell this?”

“Sadly, this didn’t work for me.”

I just say, “Dammit!”  He’s so perceptive.  I know he’s going to be right.  I can pretend he’s not going to be right, but he’s going to be right.

Are you working on any novels?

I’ve got two novels I finished last fall.  And right now, I’m working on a third.  I recently got an agent, Seth Fishmen, and he’s is shopping my novel Soft Apocalypse.  He’s a great guy and I’m excited to work with him.  I discovered him through Ted Cosmaka, a shooting star who just got a nomination in the Nebulas and signed a great contract with Del Rey.  Ted put in a good word with Seth.  I sent Seth Soft Apocalypse and he called me back in five days.

You got the phone call!  It actually does happen!

The other novel is a slipstream baseball novel.  It’s funny, this thing about baseball genre novels.  There are very few of them, but the ones that get out there are all successful.  So I decided to write one.  Like Shoeless Joe,  the Iowa Baseball Confederacy, and Bishop’s Brittle Innings.

We’ve talked about your completed novels, do you have something that’s unfinished and in progress?

I’ve got a few short stories, but they are just sitting right now.  I’m spending a lot of time on a new novel about a terrorist attack in New York.  So many people die, it pokes a hole between the world of the living and the world of the dead, and the dead come back and posses the living.  So you have much of New York fighting with a dead person for control of their body.  It’s about this cartoonist who draws a comic strip and he’s possessed by his grandfather who invented the strip and did not give him permission to continue it.  And Grandpa is seeking his dead wife who is possessing the body of another woman.

Oh dear!  Grandpa is going to ruin his grandson’s life, not to mention that New York is going to be in a bit of a mess.

Will, congratulations on the nomination!  You’re an elitist now!  Congratulations on crossing that divide!

Let’s wish him luck in the voting for Bridesicle and hope he brings home a nice Hugo and a Nebula!

2007 Hugo

Nebula

Is Carhenge the power behind this?

Or a gargantuan magazine floating in orbit, put there by NASA to plug the holes in the ozone layer.

As useful as either one of those would be, when it comes to magazines, large isn’t about the form factor, it’s about circulation.  The world’s largest science fiction magazine is called Science Fiction World (SFW) and has a circulation of 300,000 magazines sold per month to a predominately student readership[1,2].  It’s estimated that the magazine is shared with two to four other people [1,2] (Oh those students, so practical and saving their money for important things like milk tea.  Can you blame them when Chinese milk tea tastes so damn good?) which puts the estimated readership at over a million readers.

You probably haven’t heard of Science Fiction World because unless you can read Mandarin, you aren’t going to go any deeper than look at the pictures.

But since I like pictures, let me share a few with you:

In the meantime, ‘let us dance.’  (Yes that old Saturday Night Live line.)  At least I’m dancing because a Mandarin translation of “KanjiKiss,” a story of Internet love, will be coming to a Chinese newsstand sometime this year, 2010.  If English is your only language, then you can read “KanjiKiss” in the Speculative Realms anthology out in eBook and book.

Sources:

[1] Science Fiction World, Wikipedia

[2] China’s Science Fiction World, Concatenation.org article

http://openhomelandsecurity.ideascale.com/a/dtd/31748-7043

My dad is a newly retired member of DHS.  Dad, I’ll work on you directly.

This older cover is my favorite.

Cory Doctorow’s Little Brother is a call to those that are keeping quiet and just waiting for things to blow over.  It’s a clarion to those waiting for our freedoms to come back.  And it’s an instruction book  for how to fight back rather than sit at home and complain about warrantless wiretapping.

Little Brother is about how authority without limit turns into state sponsored terrorism.  It’s post 911 San Francisco and the Bay Bridge is blown up.  Homeland Security reacts by apprehending anyone they feel is a terrorist.  Without any due process, these people become victims of state sponsored oppression: interrogation, torture, and some shipped to other countries (rendition) where there is even less of a chance of rescue by people who value freedom and human life.

This is one of those books that every American near the voting age and of the voting age should read.  Anyone with an interest in computer science and surveillance will love this book.

When I was at my hometown of Fairfield, Montana,
a mother told me about her son Mike, who was a friend of mine.  Mike had gone to Iraq as a sergeant in the army and had recently returned home.  She sensed he had a lot to get off his chest but the only things he would talk of were the weather and family news.  But this wall around him was always disturbed by the information form the outside world: TV news, and newspapers.  Finally he summarized to mom his feelings about the war as this: he was ordered to do some bad things, things he couldn’t talk about.  And that was as far as he would go.

When I was in Redmond, Washington,
a woman who I used to work with was telling me about her Tyler who I hadn’t seen in years.  When I asked if he was going to be a computer guy like his dad, she said, her tone ringing with pride: ‘Oh no.  He only uses the computer to play games.  He enjoys playing the sniper game the most, and says he wants to kill terrorists when he grows up.’  Everyone else in the office went quite.  You see, the problem is that the government had been labeling too many people terrorists for the liberal Puget Sound Area’s taste.  American’s have been declared terrorists during the Bush administration, and they have been held without due process, and as the case with most all the prisoners held as enemy combatants, they were freed once the justice system decide to step in.  So when someone’s son says, “I want to kill terrorists,” we all wonder what kind of terrorist will be in that kid’s cross hairs–the ones that were unjustly held for years or the ones that actually did anything wrong.

I really hope people like Mike from Fairfield will get a chance to tell their story to the youth like Tyler who see the world through sniper sights of black and white.

As a work of activist science fiction, Little Brother meets the criteria I’ve developed through study of this area:

• it’s a story of fiction whose vision clearly portrays a problem in real life
• the characters take action in a way that any reader can understand, identify with, and execute
• it poses possible solutions to the problem
• it contains elements of science and its a story of fiction

That this is a work of activist science fiction from the ground up shouldn’t be a surprise as Cory Doctorow worked with other activists at the Electronic Freedom Foundation.

I’m buying a few copies of this book for my high school’s library and hometown public library.

Little Brother is an important story for people to hear, and the more stories like this we share as a society, the more we can develop a group intelligence about such issues in society.  (An example of group intelligence: most everyone in America knows you should wear a seat belt, that smoking causes lung cancer, that you should drive on the right-hand side of the road.  How they act upon that information is another thing.)  And having a group intelligence increases the odds that as a culture, we develop superior mechanisms (the first ones will suck, but society evolves) for handling the problem, and the problem gets handled quickly.

So Mike, I hope you get this message.  I hope you will share your stories and experiences with others that go deeper than a sniper game.  I also ask you, the audience to post your stories somehow: write editorials, write blogs, post comments on this blog.  I invite you to tell me your post 911 story of activism or what you feel are important post 911 readings using the comment field below.

But now I understand: spinning any improvement as “new” (like a new feature), or anything that is New has to be an Improvement (like Vista over XP–er… OK.  Maybe an exception.) just makes me feel like I’ve spent a bunch of money on R&D and got twice as much Bang!

OK, now back to what is “New AND Improved!”  (Wow, I really love saying that!)

I’ve always felt that it’s important to have a good education and I’ve relied on YOU to ‘learn me a thing or two.’

I’ve made some adjustment to my website to make it more satisfying to tell me how I could be so wrong.  No more hiding your pearls of wisdom beneath a tiny ‘comments’ link.  Comments are now in the front row and in full font size, beneath each posting.

(But wait, there’s more: you’ll be associated with a cool Avatar.  Yes, that has been an existing feature, but that small detail can’t stop this marketing machine.)

Now you can REALLY let me have it!  Enjoy!

==>Lancer—

Click to get the eBook!

Yes, love is a wonderful thing. Speculative Realms has now been released as an eBook which can be shipped anywhere, instantly! (Or as fast as you can enter in your payment information.) Within it, you can read about how a boy from Wyoming finds love with a woman named KanjiKiss. It’s quite scandalous really. His family wants him to stay home and help his Dad, but they had a fight at his high school graduation party so he takes a long, long drive–a drive that ends in Seattle. He’s always loved escaping country life via the Internet. But the Internet in Seattle is incredibly more advanced. And there, he meets KanjiKiss in an online bar.

This turns into a big family fight about love and commitment. He’s in love. His family tries to stop him from committing to this woman. Read the whole story of “KanjiKiss” in Speculative Realms, an eBook filled with thirteen other great stories. And get this: buy it before February and you can have the ebook edition for only $1 using Coupon Code: ST94L at the checkout. (It comes in pretty much every eBook format known to man, including the Kindle and IPhone).

It seems fitting to receive a story about Internet love in a format that is delivered instantly via the Internet. However, if you want to read it in digital form, you will need a steady internet connection, like rise broadband internet, for example. But if you are still a caveman who likes books, you can click on one of the book covers you see on the right side of this web page and buy yourself something that has a good “thud” factor. After all, you can’t kill a deer with an eBook.

Here are the other stories and their authors in Speculative Realms:

• KARMA by Sasha BeattieA mother’s determination escalates to obsession as she searches for her daughter beyond the grave.
• The Widower’s Tale by Davin IrelandA reclusive hitman discovers vengeance can’t always be left for dead.
• Where Strength Lies by Karen Lee FieldWhen warrior mages try to abduct her son, a woman must trust her past to ensure her son’s future.
• Shouting at the Stone by TW WilliamsIn a world where the most powerful magic is the loudest, a mage who has lost his voice must find a way to save the woman he loves.
• Second Chance by David MeadowsA failed writer discovers that somebody is stealing his manuscripts — before he even writes them!
• To Hell and Back by Rob RosenA boy’s love for his father is endless, timeless, and deeper than the very pits of hell itself.
• The Guardian by Lyall HendersonAboard the most powerful warship in the galaxy, a soldier must sacrifice what he loves most to save his people.
• Children of Ba-Seku by Christopher DonahueA desperate prince will use one of Egypt’s darkest secrets to try and turn back bronze-wielding invaders.

The movie touches on real issues:

• capitalism without morals (do anything to make the stockholders happy) oil companies, mining companies, or any company that places it’s products and profits above a sustainable and safe earth
• destruction of the natives (Na’vi) by corporate interests are similar to what happens to Nigerian’s in the face of today’s oil companies in Nigeria.
• a disregard for Pandora’s health is like our current disregard for Gaia in the face of global warming (Planetary health and global warming isn’t a focus in the movie. For Pandora the connection is even stronger in that the planet houses the memories of the ancestors.)
• mercenary army (more capitalism without morals) and Blackwater in Iraq/Afghanistan

Of course I’m biased by own readings and political leanings. A way of validating this would be to poll neoconservatives, free market anti-environmental policy types, and pro military industrial complex types. Since I don’t have any of these people nearby to consult with, so let me imagine their responses:

• neoconservatives— “the company’s approach was all wrong. First you get them TVs and light bulbs, and then tell them they need to build damns and infrastructure to keep the lights and TV going, and then you give them loans for those things, and once that happens, you have them by the balls. (See Confessions of an Economic Hit Man for step by step instructions.)
• worshipers of the free market — “Those tree huggers are living together in communes, shackling their GDP to “green-only” technology and that will never work. Still, it’s too bad about the blowing up the giant tree. That would have been good for the tourism industry. The company should have tried a littler harder at getting the Na’vi on board by giving them good jobs to mine their own planet. Then everyone would have been happy. You say Pandora is sentient? Hmm… I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Try explaining free market theory to a planet…”
• ‘the best military to rule them all’ guys–“The company tried to do it on the cheap. They needed more guns, gunships, mercs. Nothing like a good surge to show everyone what end of the rifle is the business end. And the mercs…. why don’t they have nukes? They could have just nuked the planet from orbit and solved the problem quickly. Anyhow, this movie just goes to show that only the best industrial complex wins. The Na’vi won round one. But the Na’vi will eventually lose unless they find a way to build up their military.”

Is this movie a work of activist science fiction? Here is what the movie showed us:

1. The Plight of Natives against overwhelming military might and the solution of resisting with everything you have.
2. It portrayed how corporations use Shareholder Profit as God as an excuse to violate human rights.
3. The movie created a wonderment about Nature and its Mysteries and contrasted that by mentioning that Earth’s nature is ruined.

Does the movie show how the viewer could take action (take action == become active == activist)?

The plight of the natives showed us that without doing something about it, the planet would be lost. The movie didn’t acknowledge (or I don’t recall) what the cost was back home for not getting the Unobtainium, where in reality, we enjoy running about in our cars and polluting and often wish that eating Salmon wasn’t so expensive. So this movie doesn’t give us the conversation about giving something up in order to keep the world we love. If the viewer is able to make the connection between today’s energy corporations and the one in the film, and then realize that there is a lot of funny business going on to give them the ability to refuel their tank, then maybe this would cause some people to become active.

The movie’s solution to Plight of the Natives is to organize resistance. This is a tough road in that most of the viewing audience will never be in the position to do this. The movie does show us the mercenary pilot and scientists becoming active members of the resistance. This is something that more of the viewers can relate to as many of them will become part of the “machine” that is doing these things and could, like the characters in the movie, organize change within.

The movie does accurately depict Shareholder Profit as God but it’s not clear to me that many people actually understand that this is the reality of how many corporations govern themselves, and the movie doesn’t try to make this connection to reality.

The movie does a phenomenal job of creating awe of Nature and its Mysteries which I hope will translate into caring about today’s environment. But I fear that the most action this movie will create is to get people hungry to play the MMOG so they can enjoy living on virtual Pandor.

There isn’t clarity of how the problems in the movie reflect what is happening today, which is critical to cause a call to action among viewers. But it doesn’t have to be activist science fiction to be a great science fiction movie. Go pay some money to see this wonderful 3-D film in the theater and enjoy.

Oh, on another note, apparently the Chinese Government disagrees with me and feels that Avatar IS effective activist SF. This Saturday, Jan 23, they are discontinuing the the 2D screenings of Avatar to make way for a biographical film called Confucius, starring Chow-Yun Fat.

I don’t plan on seeing Confucius in the theater. Sorry Chow-Yun, but I don’t like to encourage government interference any more than corporate malfeasance.

Or at a minimum, I’m sore about being disagreed with.

The Book of Exodi (see its spiffy ember-colored cover on the right-hand side of this webpage) is filled with stories of people leaving or forced to leave their homeworld. The ShadowRun universe tends to focus on the challenge of pulling off “the big heist”. (Just because it’s the future doesn’t mean hardworking mercs don’t have their own financial crises to deal with.)  Mixing the end of the world with the “big heist” creates some interesting conundrums like: you’re risking your life for money, but the world is ending so what’s the use?  (It turns out there are several reasons.)

As I read “A Short Length of String,” I was told about a big heist, Fixers, and people that felt like Runners and Deckers, but the familiar pattern set by ShadowRun was never the same because the team was dealing with the psychological and emotional fallout from knowing that soon, the Earth will be destroyed.
If you haven’t read a cyberpunk story in a while, read this one and it will get you excited again about big guns and street samurai attitude.  And if you’re so  inclined, find some runners with whom to break out the six sided dice and build a run like this one.

You see, the organizers of the mainstream (editors, producers, etc.) are doing their best to sell and sometimes that closes them to something that is really out there which may also sell.  It’s OK.  It’s a business.  Everyone is doing their best.  But if you’re tired of reading their vision of what is a great short story, try my favorite source of alternative science fiction: New Genre, a zine that comes out every so often, maybe twice a year, maybe less.  Either way, the editor Adam Golaski looks for the most interesting stories in science fiction and horror that he can find, and like the magazine’s title hints, his taste runs to stories that focus on story and less on genre.

Issue Six recently came out and like every New Genre I’ve read, I read some fiction that I wouldn’t naturally seek out and find.  It’s alternative.  Like the bands They Might Be Giants, or Eels, I have to “hear” the tune before I realize it’s something I want.

“Jack the Satellite Jockey” by Michael Filimowicz reads like a hard science fiction story filled with stats on satellites and rocketry but swerves into the realm of techno-shamanism.  How the story subtly bridges these two ideas is very cool.  The story takes place in orbit above Earth with Jack doing his job–repairing a satellite and we find out one of Jack’s hobbies is sometimes making “adjustments” to the data being beamed back to Earth.

“The Sparrow Mumbler” by Eric Schaller is in a fantasy setting and is about a man named John who has a really difficult job–he is supposed to try and swallow an angry sparrow whose leg is tied by a string to the top button of John’s shirt, and John’s hands are tied behind his back.  And let me tell you, that sparrow is mean enough to John that PETA might be more concerned about the abuse to John’s face than to the indignity the sparrow feels.

If you think that science fiction short stories end with what you can find on you newsstand (Fantasy and Science Fiction, Asimovs, and Analog) visit the websites and buy a copy of other purveyors of science fiction stories such as New Genre.  And by the way, those anthologies sitting on the right-side of this website contain a smorgasbord of fiction writers and literary styles too.

This travesty is becoming more common. Star Wars is over 30 years old which is twice the age of the teens and pre-teens in love with Twilight.

It’s been suggested by another member of the old guard that I perform the civic duty of booting them to the head, and when they hit the ground, I stomp on them till their brains seep out their ears. (My friend Bill is a member of the violent arm of the ‘old guard.’ So watch out for him.)

Is this fair?  Can Twilight even be considered science fiction? I wouldn’t argue that you would understand the genre if you’ve only seen Star Wars, but I’d certainly feel better about that than Twilight.  But then, I’m a member of the old guard.  Twilight is speculative fiction, not science fiction.  The same goes for Harry Potter, and we know that more of the world is familiar with Harry Potter than Star Wars (people in China bring it up all the time.)  So back to Star Wars versus Twilight.

Star Wars carries itself on imaginative eye candy and has not-well-motivated dialogue in nearly all the movies. To be great, Lucas Films needs someone who actually is a good writer work on the dialog part.

I probably would never have seen Twilight except my girlfriend wanted to watch it. I enjoyed it though I would never admit this in the presence of an ‘old guardsperson.’  The writers/author of Twilight knows how to write dialogue, but it doesn’t have any of the impact of Star Wars because any discussion of Star Wars has to be taken in context of when the original movie came out.
Star Wars was innovative to the extreme for a 1977 film. It did everything that Star Trek did 11 years before Star Wars (1966), but it took the use of special effects to a new (and expensive) level by doing it all over the place. But no 22 year-old is going to have that context without a patient discussion, which I couldn’t supply because I was in shock with what I was hearing.

Twilight is just a good movie. I’m looking forward to the sequel. It didn’t break new ground in the speculative fiction movie industry.

I’m a regular viewer of Attack of the Clones episodes on Cartoon Net (well, really digital download), and I’m enjoying that for the most part though there are moments I feel like it is insensitive to clones and glorifies war too much.

So the changing of the guard will take place whether or not the old guardsperson dressed up in spiffy white armor wants to allow it.  And let’s face it, the chicks dig Edward as much as the boys of the old guard dug Princess Leia.

Why is it that I hate myself now?

There, there Leia, Lancer didn’t really mean it.

Click to buy on Amazon

It’s not often I get to post on my blog about something so lurid. So bear with me, I’m quite excited! “KanjiKiss” is a short story about a young Wyoming man who is lured away from a quiet life in the countryside by sexy Internet technology. He leaves his home for Seattle and falls in love with a girl. The girl lives in Asia, and he’s never kissed her, touched her, or even been in the same room.  His family isn’t happy about the situation, and he want’s to be with her forever.

KanjiKiss is part of the Speculative Realms anthology and is filled with other great stories such as: “The Guardian” by Lyall Henderson, where a soldier aboard the most powerful warship in the galaxy must sacrifice what he loves most to save his people; or “Children of Ba-Seku” by Christopher Donahue, about a desperate prince using Egypt’s darkest secret to try and turn back technologically superior invaders.

Speculative Realms is now available on Amazon for $5.88, for a limited time only.

Well, I actually don’t know if the offer is limited.  But now that I’ve said it, you feel you’ll miss out if you don’t hurry, right?

OK, clicky, clicky. 

Maybe this is my personal problem. Maybe I’ve watched too much science fiction such as:

• Star Trek–I know I shouldn’t be racist because someone’s skin is a different color,
• Asimov’s BiCentennial Man and STNG (Commander Data)–I should treat sentient robots as equals, and
• Fox’s Space: Above and Beyond–“tanks” are nice people too (people genetically engineered and born in vitro).

Though the jury of science fiction entertainment is still out on whether genetic engineering will be used for good or to subjugate those that aren’t engineered.  Personally, I think we just need to discuss this via market economics in that if it’s cheaply done at a massive scale, then the inequality argument goes away and the few don’t subjugate the rest, but I digress. 

In Star Wars: The Clone Wars, we see the Jedi fighting along side the clones that are the spawn of cool-ass mercenary, Bobo Fett.  And he doesn’t have to pay child support.

This week, I saw this flick for the first time, and what I saw was a little shocking: those very nice Jedi treating the clones like they were no better than the robot armies they were fighting.  (Well, those robots do seem sentient in a cute kind of way, but either way, both groups were being treated as slaves.  But all robots are treated as slaves in the Star Wars Universe.  They go around referring to people as “master.”)

So this all implies the characters in the Star Wars Universe are less enlightened than those of us on good ‘ol Earth.  I don’t know why….  Did they not watch or read as much science fiction as a person does on Earth to know that sentience goes beyond the boundaries of being a cool-ass Jedi? I know Space Opera is about Colonialism and Elitism, but come on!  Did not young Ani, in between pod races, read some books about humanity between sentient beings?

And this movie will be watched by untold millions of children. What message is Lucas trying to leave them with? What happened to wise Yoda? At no point does Yoda launch into a PSA about how clones each have names and that they are individuals too, or that the clones should unionize and demand equal treatment. In fact, Yoda tells Obi Wan that he hopes that Anakan learns to let go of his people, referring to Anakan caring too much about the lives of his clone friends.

It is all very strange to me to see this genre from which I usually get a very clear dialog about being moral, but in this case, perpetuates dehumanization of sentient clones (and robots). Perhaps this is why the Republic falls and the Jedi fall; the elitist meme brings out such a flaw that they come crashing down. Or maybe Lucas saw the discussion on Clerks about the death of the Death Star contract labor force and said to himself, “I’ll give those fictional guys something to bitch about.”

While as a five year old, I wanted to live the Star Wars vision. As an adult, I see the story lacks a liberal leaning, which ads to the universe’s foreignness. Is this an unintended side-affect of striving for a Space Opera tone?

I’d love to hear others comment on this…. I don’t believe Space Opera has to be colonial or elitist, but those elements make it easy to recognize.

Maybe, maybe not. It’s a wild ass guess. As a science fiction author I think–yeah, that could make a good story. And of course, writing such things would put me in the FICTION section rather than on Fox News, and they seem to think they deserve a non-fiction status. He could also imagine that they would just poor kerosene over you and light you on fire rather than turn you into the food product Soylent Green. (A nice burning hospital bed has better dramatic appeal on camera. Soylent Green’s visualization of the end was a bit weak, in my opinion.

But let’s go with Neil’s scenario no matter how likely or unlikely it is. If you were encouraged to make a choice between assisted suicide and treatment, at least the choice would be yours. Today, the choice is only yours if you can afford (or your insurance will cover it) to pay the cost of the medical procedure. If you can’t, then you don’t have a choice, you just die.

Fox News fails to mention that a single payer health care system doesn’t mean that the wealthy will be kept from buying their own health care.

Maybe I need to say that again: Today, the wealthy can get as much care as they afford. With single payer health care, the wealthy can get as much care as they can afford.

The difference is that the regular guy will be able to get health care too. Will he be encouraged, as in Soylent Green, to give up his life before his time? Not likely. I’ve never heard of this happening in any of the nationalized health care countries: Great Britain, Taiwan, Canada, France, Japan, to name a few.

But being reasonable isn’t a “core competency” of Fox News. That’s not their goal. Their goal is to control your opinion and they’ll use their imagination, their writers, their editors, and their news network to shape you opinion to their will.

Hmm… sounds like a good science fiction story. Have you heard of Max Headroom? Fox News, the next Network 23, hmmm?

Commentary on Neil’s use of Activist SF

Fox News’s use of Soylent Green is an Activist Science Fiction play. Neil is attempting to leverage the cultural understanding of the movie to short-cut his argument to the Fox News viewers. He successfully talks of a situation in the movie and tries to use it to scare the viewer into associating it with what is happening today with single payer health care. Soylent Green’s theme is about the dehumanizing effect overpopulation will have. Health Care also would be dehumanized, so these theme fits with what Neil is saying. But there are some problems here which ultimately make this a not very effective bit of activism:

• Soylent Green, or the book it’s based on, Make Room, Make Room, isn’t a pervasively known in the US. Most of the Fox News audience isn’t going to have a clue.
• Movies with themes of why you should control your population is a pretty liberal concept. The Fox News audience is not liberal except for a sprinkling of Libertarians who watch Fox News because they associate themselves with any movement that says they’re against taxes (whether or not that movement actually reduces taxes)

Now if Neil used references to the Left Behind books and movies, he’d hit his audience square on the mark.

The movie, Event Horizon looked good on the commercials: sexy spaceship, strong looking cast, and a goth looking warp drive. I was ready for a great show. Then about thirty minutes into the film, I wanted to leave the theater because the same suspenseful music used in Friday the 13th movies grated my ears to forshadow something wasn’t right.

That’s about what it was like using FiOS: the HD channels were an extraordinary 1080P, the Internet connectivity gave me undreamed of download speed, and the goth looking Verizon router was loaded with features. I have a friend also enjoying blazing speeds but with a fiber home internet package from EATEL – https://www.EATEL.com/residential/internet/. We can both confirm that the latest wave of broadband technology is lightyears ahead of anything we had back in the day. If you consume a lot of data or you watch a lot of HD videos, high-speed fiber internet might be for you.

But then the problems started. The router would reset itself and lose my settings, the WIFI would shut down and come up again. Normally, I would follow something like the AT&T Router login instructions to sort out the router settings but this Verizon one was having none of it. Some features of the router only pretended to work. The equipment acted is if I got massive speed but at the cost of tapping into a universe of infinite evil. It made me wish I could use this guide here with a different router instead of dealing with this hell.

I could almost live with this. After all, were talking about Verizon here. This is the company that cooperated with the so called Patriot Act and sold out Americans to the NSA as part of a warrentless wiretapping program. So their boardroom is comfortable with practicing evil.

But Verizon, in it’s infinite wisdom, decide to block port 80, which means in laymen’s terms, I could no longer host LancerKind.com.

After talking to an amazing number of different people at Verizon, and searching the Internet, I decide that working around this problem wasn’t worth the amount of time it was taking. After another call to Verizon and requesting that they put GIANT warning labels on all their slick FiOS commercials that say: we’ll make your website go dark (unless you want to spend $100/month for a business line), I went back to Comcast.

That was then, this is now. Now I’m in China and rather than brave the Great Firewall and self host LancerKind.com, I’ve thought about using web hosting service www.hostiserver.com. My friends have recommended it to me and it seems pretty reliable.

OK, that’s my PSA. Back to our regular scheduled SF programming.

But I reach past the mass market paperbacks, and even the thick and sturdy trade paperbacks. I go right for the hardback book, you know. I want something that can really knock someone’s block off or stop a bullet in a pinch.

So good news! If you’ve been hankering for The Book of the Exodi but have been thinking–naw, trade paperbacks don’t make me feel secure–The Book of the Exodi is now out in hardcover, available from Lulu.com:

http://www.lulu.com/content/hardcover-book/the-book-of-exodi/7410605

I like to keep a copy in my car when I travel. Right between the driver’s seat and the door, where I can get easy access to it if I get into trouble.

Why does the nano go bezerk at the Halloween party? Have you ever heard of griefers? Being a griefer is a natural part of human development. All those naughty four-year olds spend a good part of their childhood enjoying the reactions they get when they purposefully behave badly. Sadly, not all these little buggers grow up. Some dedicate themselves to a life of causing grief by becoming Protest Warriors and stirring up trouble at peace rallies.  On the MOGS, they are groups of people who band together to cause grief to the other denzines.   Diff meets a griefer who goes by SickDevil and this griefer, like all griefers, has a very reasonable way of looking at the world which supports all of his ill doings.  (Griefers are very smart four-year olds in adult bodies.)  SickDevil challenges Diff to prove SickDevil’s “malthusian outlook,” that it’s “natures order of things” that the planet’s resources (oil, gas, food, water) will only be enjoyed by the strong and that the strong will user the weak to perish ASAP.

And this griefer, SickDevil, is  a nano expert.

This story was co-written by my then wife Shelli during a long road trip between Montana and Seattle.  It was my turn to drive and  I hadn’t finished the scene.  So she did it for me!  Thanks Shelli!  It was probably your part that got the honorable mention. 

XiaMen has a local chain of bakeries called USM with the slogan, Use Mind Bread Hause:

I’ve tried this psychedelic bread and while I’m forbidden by the government to speak of the mind trip,  it tastes really good!

I feasted on this spectacular specimen for breakfast and had thoughts of Pacific Ocean coconuts the whole day.  It made me rather sea sick, thinking of coconuts bobbing in the ocean.

Think about this when you are eating your rather lame “wonder” bread, hmm?    

If you missed the Wayward Coffeehouse reading where you heard Kij’s story about cute little girls cutting up unicorns, Tim’s story about a really, really, mad scientist, or (previously at Flying Saucer Pizza) Elizabeth’s story of love and tragedy on an archeology dig, pop into Redmond’s Flying Saucer Pizza for a pizza and a beer and you could hear those stories or something completely different.

The Book of Exodi contains a story written by me called “Memory’s Victims,” which is about the future of the Israeli Palestinian conflict where both sides become involved in a space race to leave Earth and reach the nearest habitable planet to establish their own world-wide state.  It follows a Jew named Arcadie who who lives aboard the generation ship (an interstellar ark), Children of Zion.  Arcadie witnesses the end of their thousand year voyage when they reach their destination and discover it has already been settled by people from Earth who have developed faster-than-light travel during the Children of Zion‘s voyage.  Arcadie’s people settle the planet because their ship has reached its engineered lifetime, and they try to build their lives as immigrants rather than as settlers.

They are treated like foreigners and feel like foreigners too because attitudes on Earth had changed in their absence.  The “super luminal” Jews and Palestinians no longer remember their grievances while those on the generation ships carried that history with them and nurtured it.  Arcadie and his people reject the “super luminal” Jews and feel they have a better understanding of the Palestinian immigrants who raced them to reach this planet due to their shared culture of animosity toward one another.  Problems between the Jewish and Palestinian immigrant populations start again.  Arcadie tries to distance himself by following a career in the Space Force, but a hatred between two people strong enough to survive a thousand years and travel within them to a new solar system, reaches Arcadie even when he is seeking solace in the emptiness of interstellar space.

The book is available on Create Space and Amazon.

I’m hazy as to what happened next.  Somehow all the archeological science fiction books (Ruins Terra, Ruins Metropolis, and Ruins Extraterrestrial) were stacked like towers of babel, and pens were involved.  Authors Camile Alexa and Elizabeth Kate Switaj were there too (they weren’t innocent either).  Then I remember coming to consciousness, lying face-down across a pile of books, a copy of Ruins Terra poking me in the cheek.

We shook ourselves out of the daze and examined the books.  All of them!  All of the books in the Ruins * series were maligned by the signatures of Camile, Elizabeth, and I.  An utter disaster!  Vladimer, a good friend of mine who works at Third Place Books, was sobbing, “what am I to do with all these autographed books!”

The three of us slinked out the back door.  I blame it on the bookstore.  I mean they gave a group of writers pens and coffee.  So we wrote.  What were they thinking!

So if you’ve been putting off buying a book.  You can get them postage free (though defaced with author autographs) at Third Place Books.  Help Vladimir out.  He’s trying to concoct a solution that will erase the ink.

Coming to you the third Saturday of each month, are science fiction and fantasy readings from 8-10PM.  For this month, on May 16th, 8-10 PM, I and Kij Johnson, and Tim McDaniel will be there to entertain and amaze you with some pretty out-there science fiction and fantasy stories.

Oh yeah, I DARE anyone to show up as a steampunk Quaker.  That would be too cool to not photograph and blog about.

Together, we are going to read, entertain, and, get this: We’re going to give away FREE books and scifi/fantasy stuff at each event:

Lake Forest Park’s Third Place Books (6:30 May 1st):

Redmond’s Flying Saucer Pizza (noon on May 2nd):

I enjoyed the thought work that John Brunner has developed in this story.  He’s certainly made waiting for the bus extremely enjoyable. The book was written in 1968 and reads like a documentary about what the 2000s could have been like if you combine 1960’s social culture with the 1980-2000 megacorporations, and the US’s foreign policy of aggression.

I’ll talk more about the story in a later post, or scroll down to the references below and read the Wikipedia summary. I’m going to zero in on a powerful vignette which appears in book about war and economy.

The following excerpts from Stand on Zanzibar (context(11)– Come outside and Say That) gives everyone the ammunition to shoot down the NeoCon or aggressive foreign policy talk you may hear from our more war “compatible” citizens (excerpts from Zanzibar are indented).

War, like the weather just happens (no rational reason to wage it) (The “[-]” are cuts I made for brevity):

“So you believe that it’s in the interests of your family, friends and compatriots when you doll yourself up in uniform, take the gun you’re issued and go off to a messy death in the swamps of some place[-]”

“What Richardson demonstrated in essence[–]was that war follows a stochastic distribution: that’s to say, it’s neither absolutely random, nor yet is it definable in a systematic pattern, but something between the two. The pattern is there, but we cannot attribute one-for-one a causal relationship that would account for every specific cause.”

“In other words, the incidence of war is independent of the volitional element.  It makes no odds whatever whether a rational decisions has been taken–war, like the weather, just happens.”

The Richardson, cited by the book is Lewis Fry Richardson, a pioneer in weather forecasting. Unfortunately, one might reason that because a war could break out at any time means you should have a powerful defense. What about the economic benefits of war? Brunner has more to say on this:

“Much earlier than Richardson, before World War I, in fact, Norman Angell had shown that the idea of fighting a war for profit was obsolete. The victors would pay a heavier cost than the losers. He was right, and that First World War proved the fact. The second one hammered it home with everything up to and including nuclear weapons. In an individual one would regard it as evidence of insanity to see someone repeatedly undertaking enterprises that resulted in his losing precisely what he claimed he was trying to achieve[-]”

Remember all that chatter about how the Iraq war would PAY FOR ITSELF? More people should read Norman Angell. I suspect Brunner felt the same which is why he felt it important to bring Norman’s work and Richardson’s Statistics of Deadly Quarrels into his story.

I found Stand on Zanzibar an easier read than The Sheep Look Up due to their being more character continuity (the reader gets a lot of “face time” with Donald and Norman). Zanzibar is filled with interesting thought regarding society, population, and war. You’ll learn a lot on these topics while enjoying a great story. It isn’t often that I’m at a bus stop, reading through the book and then looking around at the city around me, completely amazed by the new outlook I’m getting.  Failing all of that, the next time you go to a cocktail party, bring along a copy of “Statistics of Deadly Quarrels.”  If your neocon sympathetic friends start talking about the glories of a good war economy, pull it out of your jacket (I hope you have a large one) and start talking while waving the book around.

They are sure to just agree rather than touch a book with the word “statistics” on its jacket.

References:

For more on Stand on Zanzibar, visit Wikipedia.

Here are some references related to the above excerpts. At the time of this posting, I wasn’t able to confirm that Richardson suggested that the decision on whether or not a nation goes to war is a random occurrence (please comment if you can add to this discussion). Though I feel that the wars in Vietnam, and Iraq support this:

• Introduction to War Cycles with interesting conclusions about Confucianism vs Western society:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_cycles

• Lewis Fry Richardson: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewis_Fry_Richardson
• Norman Angell http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_Angell
• Norman Angell’s 1910 book on the economics of warfare: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Illusion

I think these steampunks could give those quakers a run for their money.  Even if the quakers have rocket packs, or the quakers are actually alien or robots in disguise.

After realizing that Tierney has been nothing but nice to me, I realized I was being incredibly paranoid.  She was offering me some sort of reprieve, or some sort of shot at fixing the damage I’ve done to myself.  She was offering Wicked Thorn and Roses as a sure way to fix things, offering me something that even I couldn’t screw up.

Heh– well I’ll show her!  Check out Love Sex and Outer Space and read a twisted boy meets girl essay that spans three different works of science fiction: Moon is a Harsh Mistress, The Female Man, and Battlestar Galactica.

Do they want us to commute to work?  Rocket fuel costs a fortune (though faster than a Mercedes I hear).  That sounds too much like simple Capitalism for these robots/alians dressed as Quakers.  I think it’s something more devious.  The human looks a little too relaxed for someone with a few hundred pounds of thrust attached to his back.  Look at his haircut–not a hair out of place.  And how high does he want to fly?  I don’t care how much hairspray he used, he’s going to run out of oxygen without a jet pack helmet.

Now that’s a plot worthy of a robot/alien Quaker–killing off the human race with product defects.

LancerKind on YouTube

That was from when I fought the moss, but then it reached out–I mean really, it reached out–it taught me a lesson.

Learn how this could happen at a reading this Saturday at 7PM, March 28th, at 8862 161st Ave NE, Redmond. The reading is part of Redmond Association of SPokenword (RASP).

Show up and through the magic of the English language, I’ll work you in as the main character of “Moss Memoirs,” a story published in the Ruins Terra anthology. Another option is to pick up the book so you can enjoy the story without my annoying, buzzy voice, and also read other great authors selected by the editor, Eric T. Reynolds, in his archeological themed anthology about Ruins on Earth, authors such as Ann Walters and her “Rising Tide”, Ivan Sun and his “After the Stonehenge Bombing”, and Jaqueline Seewald and her “The Boy Who Found Atlantis.”

And those are just the start…

Two BSG "toasters" in a staring contest

Lancer's splendidly, hard-working toaster

This affront was created by some SciFi Channel mad scientist

My plea to the Sci Fi channel

Does anyone know why Cylons must be referred to as toasters? Wouldn’t it be more humiliating to a sentient robot to be referred to as a curling iron? Or an electric toothbrush? I’m just saying… I have a toaster and I think it’s a pretty neat device!

Just look at this splendid T-Fal feller right over there.  Sure its shiny steel parts are reminiscent of the materials used to construct a cylon. but look at all the levers, buttons, and it even has a dial. I’ve never seen a Cylon with that kind of man-to-machine interface. And to top it off, it makes REALLY GREAT TOAST!

It offends my sense of fairness to see the crew of Galactica calling people toasters like that’s supposed to be a bad thing! And it’s getting worse. I found this Galactica toaster which was engineered into a mockery of proper toaster conduct.

This is torture and of the most base kind!

So join me in telling the Sci Fi channel (feedback@scifi.com) that we will not stand for this abuse! That this continual demonization of toasters must stop now!

Stand up against those frakkers that are a part of the science fiction media spin machine, and tell them to “stop frakken with the toasters.”

I think that if we band together and act swiftly, we can end the rain of abuse caused by this Battlestar Galactica in the next two weeks!

1. The Quakers are the robots that Schwarzenegger warned us about in Terminator, and they are ready to take control.
2. The aliens that came to Earth to build the pyramids didn’t leave but disguised themselves as Quakers.  They also saw Terminator and know that the robots are about to make their move.  This is a message that the aliens are rooting for us from the sidelines!

Option one or two, you make the choice!  The side with the most comments wins!

YOU be the judge!

(USA Today) This is LA in 2006 which is an improvement over the 1970s.

The Sheep Look Up is an advanced read, and you’ll know what I mean as soon as you page through a copy and see vignettes throughout.  The story is set in the US and tells a story of how a country can pollute its water, air, ground, and food for profit.  There are maybe ten point of view characters.  The novel is made up of vignettes: newspaper clippings, poems, police reports, stock indices, and stories about what happened to character X because last we heard, she was being followed by the FBI.  Structuring the novel this way allowed Brunner to paint a picture at a societal level of how profit drives corporations to pollute and why the government does little to stop it.

See summary box in the lower right. Click to read source.

The novel carefully makes you alarmed at what is happening, and then when you think that the characters have found a way to improve their lives, there’s some backlash that causes life to drop to a new low.

The most interesting part of the novel is the “Trainites” which are grassroots organizations of young people who read a series of non-fiction books by an Austin Train.  The books exposed scientific studies about what kinds of bad things were making it into the water, food, and air.  The Trainites formed communs which always had a chemist to test the food.  Despite actions performed by the Trainites, life for the regular people of the U.S.A. continues to worsen.  (A non-indegenous worm is imported which eats tuber crops, toxic spills show up from rusting barrels long buried.)

As the novel reaches its finale, closure is developed about each of the characters, so there is a sense of completeness to it all.  The novel ends on a theme of revolution: if the industrial/ruling elites ignore the plight of the masses, the masses will reach a breaking point and revolt, no matter how “rude” or “unfair” such a revolt appears to the law of the land.  Then the army will come in with guns, and then there will be a battle within the nation.

The afterward was written by environmentalist James John Bell who says “The Sheep Look Up, when first published in 1972, didn’t just inspire radical environmentalists, it became their Ecodefense manual.”  Bell then writes about when he was student part of a group organizing to protest their campus McDonalds, an Earth First! group sprung up to help, lead by a woman who called herself Austin.  Reading what Bell has to say about how The Sheep Look Up isn’t far from the current state of affairs in the US is worth the price of the book alone.

The China commute

Reading this book will give you a good idea of what it would be like to live day by day in this country when the pollution is so bad that you get a sore throat when you take a walk without wearing an air filter mask.  When I visited Beijing, China in November, I and those who traveled with me got sore throats in about two days. It’s a city where jogging is bad for your health, and it will stay that way as long as people follow the flock because that is the “orderly thing to do.”

But hey, there is a new line of designer face masks out.  So there’s no excuse to not to look stylin’.

And I'm so not kidding. I saw many filter masks like this on scooter riders. More so in Taiwan (better economy) than China.

Lancer in his office doing a pre-reading workout.

I’d like to report that the same number of people who entered the RASP event at the Bella Bottega Tullys had indeed left under their own power.  There was no external trama, however I cannot speak to whether there was internal damage.  But hey, at that point, the burden of proof is on them.

Anu Garg, founder of WordSmith.org was the featured artist.  He gave a great talk about words and their private lives.  I picked up a copy of The Dord, the Dilgot, and an Avocado or two.  I got it signed and then left it un-attended for only a minute and my mother was engrossed in reading it.

I took it away from her so she would be attentive to me reading The Dukes’ New Hazard.  (Sorry mom, but you know I was never bucking for the “good son” award.)  She got over it when exposed to the really “weird” I was reading.  Hopefully this girl meets boy story, (where Daisy Duke is the girl, and a merman is the boy) set in a dystopic Hazard county (you didn’t know Hazard bordered the Pacific, did you), didn’t warp too any minds. But hey, who else would be crazy enough other than the Duke boys to go after someone kidnapped by Mermen while there was a war brewing.  (The Merman were upset with us over fishing the oceans.)

Yes, no one seemed to be injured, which is a good thing.  I’d hate to be the one responsible for a new insurance industry around policies for insuring fiction against liability.

The US border patrol flashed the green light for me to pull up to their booth and as I rolled forward the alternator completely ceased working. The good news is that the inspectors helped me push it into the US where I called up a tow. (The US border patrol at the Peace Arch were very professional and nice. The Canadian border patrol is very professional however cranky as hell this year.)

The tow truck driver was from a small town called Sumas, population 900. He gave me and my truck a lift back to the Seattle area. The drive was over two hour. He talked about how he thought living in the city would be hard because you have to lock everything down or someone takes it: your car, your kids, your front door. He said he didn’t have home insurance because he wasn’t worried about anyone stealing his things. He also told me he only had recovery truck insurance in case of an accident and not because he was worried about theft. I agreed with him. I grew up on a farm, population 4. My parents never did have keys to the house. The only times I used the locks was to lock my brother or the babysitter out. (Entertaining both times.)

The tow truck driver said he couldn’t imagine living somewhere where he didn’t know his neighbor or everyone in town.

True, I said, but in a city, your social circles are different. In a city, rather than wasting time getting to know a neighbor with whom the only thing you have in common is geo coordinates, you can socialize with those who have interests common with your own.

For example, this Friday, I went to a Battlestar Galactica party (BSG). Though I don’t live near any of them, we had a great time watching the show and then hanging out because our love of BSG brought us motherfrakkers together.

This motherfrakker is serving a 13th colony vintage.

So though the country mouse knows his neighbor, he doesn’t have much choice in the matter or he’ll get lonely. The city rat can choose to know his neighbor or not, and even if he’s a motherfrakker, in the city, you’re just another motherfrakker among many. So go out and visit Meetup.com and find your own.

But I can post it in such a way that subscribers can read it.  This gives the editors comfort that only people who care about what I think would read it, and that can’t possibly be a large enough number for them to worry about the “freshness” of the article.  So the below article will ask you to register to continue reading.  I know it’s a pain, but think of the act of registering as a commitment to pretending that you care what I think.  Don’t take registering as a commitment to actually caring–maybe you love the TV series and want to make sure I didn’t screw it up.  That’s OK too.  A list of subscribers who pretend to care will make me feel loved.

Democracy through Battlestar Galactica
by Lancer Kind

Battlestar Galactica 1978

The new Battlestar Galactica signaled from episode one how different it would be from the 1978 original series.  Its daring peaked in a scene with the sexy, tall Cylon named Six standing next to a human mother.  The mother allows Six to hold the baby.  Six cradles it in her arms and coos to it, making noises of admiration.  Then she puts her hand beneath its head and snaps its neck.  Soon after that, the Cylons nuke the cities on Caprica.  Contrast this scene with the opener of the original series where the largest emotional impact was seeing people dodge laser blasts and a boy’s dagget (dog) being killed off camera.  Times have changed.

New Battlestar Galactica

The new Battlestar Galactica (referred to as Galactica from here on) didn’t stop there. [HIDEPOST]THEY HAVE SUCCESSFULLY RE-IMAGINED ITS TIRED ORIGINS OF SAVING HUMANITY FROM SPACE ROBOTS INTO A PLATFORM OF THEMES THAT WE SEE IN THE NEWSPAPERS TODAY: TORTURE/RAPE, WAR ATROCITIES, ABORTION, THE MORALITY OF SUICIDE BOMBING, AND MANY MORE.  IT’S NOT UNUSUAL FOR A SCIENCE FICTION SHOW TO TOUCH UPON ONE OF THESE THEMES EVERY TEN OR SO EPISODES, BUT THIS BATTLESTAR JUMPS INTO THE MIDDLE AND SHOWCASES THEM ON CENTER STAGE.

THE PRODUCERS MADE DECISIONS TO GIVE THE FICTION A CONTEMPORARY FEEL.  THEY REPLACED THE BLASTERS AND LASERS FROM THE ORIGINAL SERIES WITH THE WEAPONS THAT WE SEE DEPLOYED AROUND THE WORLD TODAY.  THE AUDIENCE SEES MUSHROOM CLOUDS OVER CAPRICA, BULLETS TEARING INTO A VIPER, OR MISSILES SPEEDING AT SHIPS.  THE VIEWERS GET THE FEELING THAT WHAT IS HAPPENING ON THE SCREEN ISN’T FAR FROM REALITY.

IN EPISODE 307, “A MEASURE OF SALVATION”, GALACTICA DISCOVERS A CYLON BATTLE GROUP DRIFTING IN SPACE.  GALACTICA SENDS A BOARDING PARTY AND THEY DISCOVER THAT THESE CYLONS ARE DYING FROM AN EPIDEMIC.  THEY RETURN TO GALACTICA WITH THE SURVIVORS WHO ARE ON THE BRINK OF DEATH.  ADMIRAL ADAMA DISCUSSES WITH PRESIDENT ROSLIN THAT THEY COULD USE THESE INFECTED CYLONS AS BIOLOGICAL WEAPONS TO WIPE OUT THE CYLON RACE.

HELO, A GALACTICA OFFICER, OBJECTS, SAYING THAT GENOCIDE SHOULD NEVER BE AN OPTION SINCE NOT EVERY CYLON FEELS THE HUMAN RACE SHOULD BE EXTERMINATED.  HE USES HIS OWN LIFE AS AN EXAMPLE.  HE’S MARRIED TO ATHENA (A CYLON) AND HAS FATHERED A CHILD WITH HER.  HE ARGUES THAT IT IS WRONG TO WIPE OUT A RACE OF INDIVIDUALS JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE AT WAR WITH THE GROUP.  BUT PRESIDENT ROSLIN SAYS THAT THESE MORAL CONUNDRUMS DON’T MATTER IF THERE AREN’T ANY HUMANS ALIVE TO DISCUSS IT.

ADAMA TELLS ROSLIN THAT HE NEEDS HER PRESIDENTIAL APPROVAL FOR THE USE OF BIOLOGICAL WEAPONS.  SHE ACCUSES HIM OF PASSING THE BUCK.  HE AGREES WITH HER AND SAYS, “WE START DESTROYING ENTIRE RACES, EVEN MECHANICAL RACES, WE’RE LIABLE TO TEAR OFF A PIECE OF MAN’S SOUL.”

WHEN HELO TELLS HIS WIFE WHAT IS HAPPENING, SHE SAYS SHE WILL SUPPORT THE ORDER TO EXECUTE THE BIOLOGICAL WARFARE PLAN BECAUSE HER OATH WAS TO DEFEND GALACTICA AND SHE HOLDS THAT ABOVE ALL ELSE, EVEN HER RACE.  SHE CHALLENGES HER HUSBAND: “LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, HELO. MY PEOPLE MAY DIE. MY ENTIRE RACE MAY BE WIPED OUT…BUT THIS CYLON WILL KEEP HER WORD, EVEN IF IT MEANS SHE’S THE LAST CYLON LEFT IN THE UNIVERSE. CAN A HUMAN BEING DO THAT?”

HELO’S CONSCIOUS TELLS HIM THAT WIPING OUT A RACE IS WRONG.  THERE WILL BE COLLATERAL DAMAGE AND IT’S NOT HUMANE.  AS GALACTICA POSITIONS ITSELF TO EXECUTE THE PLAN, HELO REMOVES HIS DOG TAGS AND LEAVES HIS POST.  HE SABOTAGES THE ENVIRONMENTAL CONTROL FOR THE CYLON’S CELL AND THEY ASPHYXIATE.  LATER THE CREW LEARNS THAT THE CYLONS HAVE BEEN KILLED.  WHEN ADAMA REPORTS THIS TO ROSLIN, SHE ASKS WHO WILL HEAD THE INVESTIGATION TO FIND OUT WHO WAS BEHIND THIS.  ADAMA SAYS “NO ONE.  I’M CLOSING THE BOOK ON THIS.”

HELO’S GOVERNMENT HAD GONE THROUGH THEIR CHECKS AND BALANCES AND HAD MADE ITS DECISION, YET HE TOOK ACTION ON HIS OWN AND BROKE HIS OATHS OF MILITARY SERVICE TO THWART THE PLAN.  IS HE A TRAITOR OR PATRIOT?  ADAMA FEARED THE CYLON THREAT BUT ALSO FEARED HIS PEOPLE COULD LOSE THEIR HUMANITY.  HE SUSPECTED HELO COMMITTED TREASON BUT HE CHOSE NOT TO INVESTIGATE.  IS HE A RESPONSIBLE LEADER?  ROSLIN PARED THE PHILOSOPHICAL DEBATE TO ITS BASIC ENDS–DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO ENSURE HUMANITY’S SURVIVAL.  DOES ROSLIN BELIEVE THAT SURVIVAL JUSTIFIES ANY MEANS?

THROUGH THESE CHARACTERS, WE SEE THE WRITERS AND MEMBERS OF THIS COUNTRY ARGUE AND FIGHT ABOUT THE MORALITY OF GENOCIDE.  EVEN AT THE END, IT’S NOT CLEAR WHAT THE RIGHT ANSWER IS BECAUSE GALACTICA ISN’T USED AS A PLATFORM FOR PROMOTING THE “RIGHT ANSWER”, IT IS A PLATFORM FOR PRESENTING THE QUESTIONS AND ALLOWING THE VIEWER TO SEARCH ON THEIR OWN.  ON A REGULAR BASIS, GALACTICA TAKES ON THE BIG QUESTIONS THAT THIS COUNTRY WRESTLES WITH AND PUTS THEM ON SCREEN.

SHOWS LIKE GALACTICA PERFORM AN IMPORTANT FUNCTION IN A DEMOCRACY BY CREATING DIALOG ABOUT CONTROVERSIAL ISSUES.  IT’S WONDERFUL TO HAVE THIS DIALOG WOVEN INTO OUR ENTERTAINMENT BECAUSE MORE ARE ATTRACTED TO THE GLITZ AND GLAMOR OF AN ENTERTAINING STORY THAN UNFILTERED NON-FICTION.

AS MANY HAVE SAID, SCIENCE FICTION ISN’T ABOUT THE FUTURE, IT’S ABOUT THE PRESENT.  IN FIGHTING THE CYLONS, GALACTICA EXPLORES WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HUMAN, AND THESE EXPLORATIONS ARE RIDDLED WITH CONFLICT JUST LIKE THE BATTLE THAT IS GOING ON IN THE WORLD TODAY.

AND IF THAT DOESN’T GET YOU EXCITED, REMEMBER THIS: THE SHOW IS LOADED WITH HOT WOMEN!  AND I’VE HEARD THAT THE MEN ARE PRETTY EASY ON THE EYES TOO.

[/HIDEPOST]

When Luda had spoken to me, she and Dr. Shevchenko’s daughter had only raised $5,000 through phoning/emailing friends and family. Dr. Shevchenko’s visa would soon run out and he was preparing to go back to Ukraine to do his job until cancer killed him. So she asked my wife and me for help. We could only donate some money but that was only a step. Shelli and I talked and we realized that we needed to do some publicity work to raise enough money.

We put together http://docneedshelp.blogspot.com and mailed out press releases to Seattle area media outlets. So far the press release hasn’t generated any interest which is too bad. If we could get someone to interview Luda for newspaper or radio, her story of how she knew Dr. Shevchenko would compel the audience to help and enough money would be raised. It’s so important that people share this story, especially since cancer can cost a lot of money. Due to this cost, people will struggle and often will need to seek help. This is, unfortunately, the case for this family. Whilst their story hasn’t been shared just yet, they’re still hoping to find financial help from somewhere. It was suggested that they could also consider getting in touch with some local organizations that help cancer patients financially. That might be a good idea. A lot of cancer patients struggle financially, so it’s important to make use of these organizations that want to help patients.

If you know some way to get this story out, contact me (425 466 9766). This humanitarian who has helped save the lives of many of his patients now need help.

Dr. Anatoliy Shevchenko

If you can help by donating even a little, visit http://docneedshelp.blogspot.com.

A wonderful anime called Speed Grapher is about a Tokyo where money buys you anything you wish. The rich use it to enjoy all the forbidden pleasures in a secret club for elites (like the Horned Society, in Eyes Wide Shut although if you’re looking for that type of anime you’d be better off going to www.animehentaivideos.xxx). The protagonist, Tatsumi Saiga, is a former war photographer who found secret joy in capturing the perfect moment (it gave him an erection), often at the moment of his subject’s death (a perfect character flaw in a story about taboo pleasures).

Apparently, a large number of anime stories deal with sexual matters in an intriguing way. If you are fascinated by this more adult side of anime, then websites such as https://www.cartoonporno.xxx/ might be of interest to you. Ultimately, the Hentai industry is a growing and unpredictable scene, and adult anime content is enjoyed by large numbers of people all over the world. No surprise why there is an increase in adult-oriented merchandise as well, like see this anime body pillow, for instance, that can with its soft and curvy structure give warmth and comfort to anyone, no matter they are an anime fan or not. Such products seem to have become increasingly popular with the rise in the number of people with a love for anime.

However, the man behind the forbidden club is Choji Suitengu, a character who quietly illustrates his conspicuous consumption by smoking cigarettes wrapped with 10,000 yen bills. Later we find out that he is just another victim trying to change the system but in less moral ways.

What this anime does so well (to the point of some critics deciding the characters aren’t likable) is constantly focus on the horrors of a trickle-down economics society where having enough money allows you to create wars for even more profit. In trickle down economics, the guys in control of the faucet always win.

We see this when Saiga talks ells Kagura about the wars he has seen that didn’t make any sense to the people doing the fighting, but did make sense to those ordering the fighting or supplying the equipment. We see this when we find out Suitengu’s father was killed due to owing debts to a politician, who then pressed Suitengu into the military to cover his father’s debts. And we see this at the end, when Ginza is trying to out the corruption but everywhere she turns, she finds that the levels above her are beholden to the secret society in some way.

The Activist SF Test

One of the tests that I use in determining if something is Activist SF, is if it portrays to the audience actionable steps that an audience member actually do. IE, getting a battle mech isn’t an actionable solution. Getting a tank or an attack isn’t likely in the cards either, but exposing the problem to society, or to the authorities despite adversity, or organizing a resistance are actionable.

Exposing the problem: Throughout Speed Grapher, it exposes how government officials, police chiefs, media outlets, and corporations can support each other as oppressive forces, which I don’t think is big news. But tying together how corrupt elements use war for profiteering isn’t well understood so Speed Grapher does bring this to our attention.

Portraying activism: Speed Grapher shows how to take action through the organization of the White Knights. This episode focuses on Joe the non-fic writer who isn’t sure he has the courage to out the elite’s connections to the secret club. Saiga works with his newspaper, or finds experts to help figure out what is happening.

Check out Speed Grapher. As an American, you won’t feel emotional ownership of the corrupt officials, but through out, you’ll enjoy the humanist story about Saiga’s work as a photographer, and how a simple photo can make a difference.

You can learn more about the troubles this podiatricly complicated fellow has to go through this Saturday at 7PM, Jan 31st.  I will do a reading at Tullys in the Bella Bottega shopping center at 8862 161st Ave NE, Redmond.  The reading is part of Redmond Association of SPokenword (RASP). Richard Gold is the featured artist.

What does my reading have to do with bigfoot?  I’ll be reading a story of mine, “Get the Girl?”  It’s about a young married couple, Dustin and Amber, whose car breaks down in the middle of a forest.  Amber and Dustin haven’t been getting along in a while and she picks on him until he decides to take a hike.  As he walks, he re-evaluates his life and has a run-in with a bigfoot.

I’m also bringing a small stock of my books to sell which will save you on shipping.

In fact, it featured a monorail that was superior to the one constructed for the 1962 World’s Fair held in Seattle.

One of the biggest controversies about building mass transit is where the stops should be. Naturally, there is a lot at stake for businesses and home owners who would benefit if there is easy access to catching a ride.

What was unique about the monorail in the Fahrenheit film, constructed at Saran France by SAFEGE in 1959, was that the car was suspended from the monorail so passengers could exit via a ramp reaching from the bottom. In reality, this feature was used as an emergency exit and can be seen in a variety of public commute facilities as well as commercial complexes that support high mobility today. They have all the necessary elements like floor plan, signage (more about these details here), equipment etc in place for fire and safety compliance. In the movie, however, the same feature was used as the means for boarding and disembarking.

Unfortunately, the track has been dismantled. It’s amazing to me that this system seems superior in that it supports the ability to stop at any point on the track where today, the Seattle monorail only has two stops, one at each end of the track. It’s odd how a 1961 film is like a documentary about what was better in the past. Like a comedian recently said, he enjoys telling youths that the SF films from the ’80s are documentaries about what life was like, that the flying cars were great for a while but were too much trouble in the end.

If disembarkation doesn’t require a platform, the system is like a bus that can stop anywhere, thus not requiring all the up-front planning and design that goes into a usual train system. If you find one location doesn’t work well as a stop, you just move the mono-rail sign elsewhere and stop there!

Potential negatives: no escalator but most people need the exercise anyway. If you really want them, you could still build some elevated stops (handicap access would be nice). I bet some slick Japanese engineer out there (hey, that’s where origami came from) could probably design moving stairs that can be raised and lowered.

It turns out there are operational “upside down” monorails in Japan. Here is the one in Chiba, which is near Tokyo:

And the Shonan monorail:

Apparently there are a slew of all kinds of monorails in Japan. There’s even a Monorail Society that documents monorails from around the world and they sell dvds. Maybe now that we have a U.S. president that can string together intelligent words, we can get some good national infrastructure built. It would be too bad to disappoint all those people from the ’60s by saying that the monorails were like the flying car’s, that we couldn’t make it happen.

It’s the least we could do after making those nice people watch years of Leave it to Beaver.

I’ve been staring at my “inventory” of stories (I have the titles written on stickies and posted on the wall), but deciding which one is tough.  I’m convinced that either they are all great or they are all of the same low quality.    So now I’m considering ways to raise my game.  Maybe I need go “metaphysical” (meta has to be better, right?) such as a ouija board or maybe dripping candle wax over some manuscripts and see if I can devine the face of L. Ron Hubbard in the splatter.

Meanwhile, I’ll find a place to hang the certificate.

Now that I’ve been staring at the certificate for a while, I’ve noticed there is this gold pen in the center.  Suppose I rig the certificate to a bottle with the pen pointing outward, set the manuscripts around it, and give it a spin, and let Mr. Hubbard decide?

They’ve recently hosted the Olympics.

They allow one to get a latte in a place once known as the “Forbidden City”.

In Hangzou, I saw an amazing outdoor show with people dancing on a lake.  It was amazing seeing a cast of at least 200 performing on/in water.

Things are really moving along nicely in this authoritarian country.  In fact, China is the home of the world’s coolest train.  An honest to goodness levitating train!

Notice what the sign says above my head.

For $15 you can ride it from a Shanghai suburb to the airport and reach 430 kilometers/hour (266 mph).  It was fast, smooth, and awesome!

In Hong Kong, the ENTIRE city across two islands is rigged to do a laser/light/music show every 6PM, more impressive than the celebration at the end of Return of the Jedi.  Once again, real life trumps fiction.  Amazing!

Where else other than China would you get to see such creative translations?

A sign at the top of a 14 story building.

But doesn’t everyone know that trying to throw the Thing is 不好? (not ok)

My wife and I, and my good friend Ben went on a trip to China/Taiwan Oct 19-Nov 4, 2008. Ben practically kidnapped us to go along with this wild scheme because he needed witnesses. (Secretly, I think what he really wanted was someone to rush him to the hospital in case his gourmet experienced turned bad.) We started out in Beijing.

I went along with his wild scheme after threats of black mail, plus I could see what I didn’t get right after working on my yet-to-be-published short story, “Katie Fang”, who is a regular at a Beijing Bar and Washiteria.

Shelli and Lancer outside their Bejing hotel. Note Shelli's less enthusiastic smile at the upcoming boys will be boys activities.

Since this occurred post Olympics, we got to see the new shiny dragon-back airport, and Olympic stadiums without dealing with crowds of Westerners. After all, when one is in China, one should see the natives doing their usuals rather than while they are stressed by Olympic craziness in dealing with bunches of Westerners. Though if that is what you want, then that’s cool too.

Throughout the day, the weather looked hazy. I wasn’t sure if it was from the fog or bad air. It got even worse at night and you could almost see the particulates, like tiny snow, passing by the lights.

Shelli and Ben, bonding in case it's Ben's last day.

We took the subway from the hotel to “long peace street.” Nearby is a walking mall with Cartier watches and all kinds of other high end mall stores. We ate in a restaurant and then went to a nearby night market where Ben’s big feed was to happen.

A tip for those who are going to eat creatures on a stick: don’t walk up to the first stall you see that features squirming creatures, you’ll likely pay an extra 20rmb (the currency of the Peoples Republic of China). Walk further into the mall away from the entrance. After all, you’d hate to pay the extra $1-2 after flying all the way to China. Note how crowded the night market is. I expect that roughly 95% of the people there are groupies hanging with their more daring friends, hoping that they can convince their friend with a food-on-a-stick fetish into eating something bizarre, and I know that sounds like it could be a starting scene to one of the many Long porn vids accessible at fulltube or other adult sites… I’m sure it probably has been used in the past.

Note the wide selection of creatures featured in Indiana Jones insect traps.

So Ben, being a money conscious consumer, shopped around until he found the best buy, and I being a supportive friend, tried to raise the ante whenever possible by pointing out that he should purchase a “sampler” rather than just go scorpion. But I don’t think Ben liked the look of those fat slug looking creatures in the above picture and to the right.

The chef seen in the background dipped the stick into the deep fat fryer. Apparently, scorpion is prepared the same way as Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Lancer pretending to be even slightly tempted to eat scorpion.

Ben and the moment of truth.

Ben says scorpion tastes surprisingly like potato chips. Interesting . . . Cooking chitin in oil is like Lay’s potato chips.

He ate the whole stick of scorpions! He likes it! He really, really likes it!

Conclusion: When you go to China, bring along someone who will eat weird stuff and you will have endless entertainment.

The next posting: China geek tour!

Winners are published in the Writer's of the Future anthologies

I’m very tickled!  I’ve received a letter that I’ve been given a honorable mention for a short story called “Honolulu Hottie”, a Hawaiian cyberpunk story about a security guard who gets mixed up with a woman (the hottie) who is conducting corporate espionage to out a company that conspires to manipulate the pineapple market.

What is Writers of the Future?  They are an organization that uses the late L. Ron Hubbard’s money to hold a contest every quarter.  It’s open only open to amateur writers, i.e. writers who haven’t broke into pro-sales.  According to their rules, I’m right on the edge and will likely lose eligibility in the next twelve months.  So my fingers are crossed that I’ll get a “W” in the next few quarters because the purse is a cool three grand.

The interesting thing about this kind of spam is that it’s really your friends spamming you: they sign up for a site, and the site collects your friend’s addresses and sends them spams so they can sign up and be cool too.  It’s a strange system.  We all hate spam, but we’ve all spammed each other.

Recently, a friend spammed me about GoodReads.  Being a writing/reading/publishing geek, Good Reads looked like my kind of site so I went ahead and signed up.  Good Reads also dug through my address book and suggested that a site this cool would be just the thing that all my friends would be interested.  I sat there at my keyboard, and thought about it, about the many of my friends who did read and about some of them which read little.  Then I realized there was only one responsible thing to do: spam them because if they weren’t reading, then maybe this would little spam would save their intellectual lives.

Great!  So I did it.  I mercilessly spammed them all:

Yeah, yeah, it’s another one of those damn social networking invites that you keep getting from your “friends.”  Well, maybe you’ll like this one.  It’s about reading rather than hitting up each other for dates or jobs.  I’m sure you’re already linked into one of those by now.

Here is the boiler plate:

I’d like to connect with you on Goodreads so we can share book recommendations.

After I did that, I was surprised because the system *really* spammed them.  I mean it dug so deep into my address book it was contacting people from the relationship equivalent of the Precambrian eon.

Then an interesting thing happened.  For the next two weeks I received emails from people who I hadn’t heard from since the said “Precambrian.”  It was really cool to to reconnect!

Maybe spam, or at least this “white” spam (as opposed to the black arts or “black” spam) isn’t all that bad.

I got my third letter yesterday that another company has let my personal information fall into the wrong hands. Sure, maybe someone makes a mistake every now and then, but this is my *third* letter from a third company! It’s frustrating that this keeps happening to me. These companies really ought to get some consulting or auditing services in to get a handle on what’s consistently going wrong – check out these Extra Resources to learn how such companies can become more compliant with the rules and laws in place to protect personal data that they store and process from being breached.

I have a lot of 401k scattered about due to my job-changing lifestyle. I couldn’t collect it all in one account as of yet because timing is important when it comes to rolling over your 401k. That being said, planning for your retirement is incredibly important which is why I am making sure that I have financial resources in place for my retirement now. It is important to remember, however, that there are a variety of different retirement plan options out there. Are you in the process of planning your retirement finances? Take a look at this useful guide for an overview of some of your options: https://www.sofi.com/roth-ira-calculator/. One of my friends sent it to me and it might also be helpful for you.

The letter is upside down to keep the hackers away

My first letter came from Fidelity for my 401k. I’ve forgotten who the third corp is that somehow left my SSN and other unmentionables lying around. Giving your data to these companies (with which we let handle our financial futures, BTW) seems as secure as posting it on Craig’s List.

I think David Brinn was right, that we are going to get a transparent society whether we like it or not. As he said, the question is will it be the right kind of society: one where the citizenry is transparent to the government, or one where everyone is transparent to everyone else, like the state and the people are equals.

Today, we all can Google each other to find out what our Internet lifestyle has been like. It’s really amazing actually. If the FBI or NSA had developed Google, we wouldn’t have ever been able to use it. It would have been labeled as a tool for National Security and the electronic “spying” would have all been one way. But since we all can use it. It’s fair game. I like that!

But with domestic spy programs, suspension of Habeas Corpus if you are considered a terrorist, extraordinary rendition, the government is still in the driver’s seat. If you ever get the opportunity to spy back, you’ll be punished, just like Rubico when he spied into Sarah Palin’s email inbox.

That isn’t fair! Rubico was just doing some warrantless spying to make sure she isn’t a secret terrorist. That’s why we have citizenship arrest.

The battle is still being fought on what kind of transparent society we will get. I say get a membership with the ACLU. They’ve probably even read the Transparent Society. I doubt anyone in the White House reads much of anything beyond the cartoons.

Please comment if you’ve recieved similar letters. I have a feeling that the hackers aren’t just after me.

Being a SF fan and kid writer (I started a newspaper in my school and got my mom to do all the typing… she’s pretty cool eh?) I was a gadget guy, and I talked my dad into buying a video camera (VHS) with a flying erase head (that means I could pause while recording, and then restart the recording without noticeable jerks and jolts). I used that camera for shooting things like time lapsed storm clouds, my brother and I acting out videos, computer generated effects (yay Amiga!) and various other projects that you see on a regular basis on YouTube.

Amiga 500

But without YouTube, my celebrity didn’t reach beyond my immediate family or high school. If I had YouTube, I could have expanded my reach to boring many more people in America! I could have been a child star! I could of, but now YouTube is a completely different place than when it just started. Content creators who have been on the platform for years have seen great success, however, there are so many channels and creators on the platform that it has become very difficult for you to reach your audience. Fortunately, there are social media growth tools that allow you to buy Youtube clicks in order to expand your online presence on the site.

Anyway, having YouTube now is better late than never. Now I have a my own YouTube channel, I have meetings with myself pretending I’m part of a board of pretentious asshole studio heads (just like on Max Headroom) and make decisions about what YOU should be watching.

Yeah, like anyone really knows what people want to watch.

Who would have thought that the Numa Numa guy would be an Internet sensation!

He has a million views which is about 999,999 more people watching his stuff than mine. He even has spawned derivative videos like Puss in boots, or Vader. Of course, just like on TV, Numa Numa with a sexy girl gets way more hits. Even if this one is nearly a Rick Roll. (Follow this if you don’t know what a Rick Roll is.)

So now I have global reach with my channel. I’ve had nearly 200 visitors view Debunking the Moss Myth which is a teaser about a short story called “Moss Memoirs” that is part of the Ruins Terra anthology.

Moss that is in a hanging mood

Not only are most of the people not part of my family, they are from Australia, Japan, China, and Canada. So I’m excited about YouTube. It’s like anyone out there can have an idea and just get it out there, and not have to bother visiting a boardroom of pretentious studio execs who pretend to know what America wants to watch, which I think is pretty cool! (I’m still angry they canceled Moon Lighting, Star Trek, and Fire Fly.)

Why should NBC have all the fun in figuring out how we should waste our time. We all want that opportunity.

Though it’s really interesting that just like NBC, so it goes with YouTube: the sexy girl always gets the hits. The harsh truth is that sex sells, whether that be on YouTube, TV, or on a site like https://www.tubev.sex/?hl=de too. Though all is not lost. Because a sexy girl can be trumped by a water buffalo (warning: you need to watch the whole thing all the way through because the ending is unexpected), or a college student being smacked down by the cops (warning: you may learn that despite what your mother told you, life isn’t fair and neither is our government).

Not that I have anything against sexy girls; I like to look at them as much as the next guy, whether that be on a website like www.hdpornvideo.xxx or in real life. But it’s nice to know that people are complicated enough to want to know what happens to a little water buffalo.

Click photo to see sexy girl showering.

Video of Lala in the shower

As if that wasn’t enough, I consulted with a fellow fictionist, Larry Hodges, and he suggested that not only could we room together, we could be Rising Stars together.

My resistance evaporated.

Mr. Hodges with his impressive array of magazine publications

Lancer scolding Mr. Hodges

The convention was great!  I used to live north of Denver and in the nine years that I’ve been away, things have gotten weird over there.  As you leave the airport, you see a giant statue of a white horse rearing up, its eyes glowing red.  And I mean really red! Apparently, not only have the Denver Broncos got new uniforms, they’ve have gone goth!

Then there is the mystery of the giant blue bear outside of the Colorado Convention Center.  Most bears (like the Coca-Cola bears, or even the Chicago ones) are nice and lovable icons rather than the communist meat eaters as they are portrayed on the Colbert Report.  But look at this thing!  For what other reason would a four story giant blue bear be reared up on its hind legs and peering into the convention center, other than its going to bust in and eat science fiction fans like they were yummy snasages?

It’s fitting that this is a virtual book party.  You get to try and trap me online and ask the tough questions like, why I wrote the story, or what was I smoking.  And maybe you’ll decide I’m cool enough to have written a story you’ll want to read and you’ll buy the book.  (See it over there on the right-hand side of the webpage?  Hint!  Hint!)  

Even if you don’t buy the book, maybe you’ll have fun socializing with the other authors, and maybe you’ll find them cool enough to read a story by them (they are pretty cool, BTW) and decide to by the book.  (It’s the one with the purple cover, still over on the right-hand side of the wedpage.)  

Oh, and even if you don’t have enough scratch to buy a book, by showing up, you are automatically in a drawing to win a free one!

Now back to that guy in KanjiKiss who fell in love with a Japanese woman whose Dad drug her to Korea (she doesn’t like it there much, that’s why she’s meeting men on the Internet).  Do you think he’ll have to take out the garbage?  I mean he gave up everything he had to be with her.  What more does a guy have to do to prove his love?  Comment ladies?

Details on the party:

Date:                            1 September 2008

Time:                            For as long as it’s 1 September 2008 somewhere in the world

Place:                           http://www.runboard.com/bspeculativerealm – people who wish to participate will have to become a member of the forum, however, this shouldn’t be a problem as membership is required in order for me to contact the winners (see next point)

Prizes:                          3 copies of the book will be given away on the day (authors and staff will be excluded from the draw)

Check out the postings and the chat room and see who you run into.

==>Lancer—