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Little Wonder

It’s little wonder to me that people no longer know how to listen as they stress out communicating in a digital world flooded with text messages and email. Knowing how to listen is a critical component in your ability to have a meaningful in-person conversation with anyone.

Sadly, too often, when we’re face-to-face with someone else we jump to conclusions about their persona based on our quick study of their physical appearance and mannerisms. How we listen and respond to others is subject to our perceptions of them based on our own stereotypical experiences.  Listening is tied into seeing.

Now that mindfulness has become such a popular trend in business, my first recommendation to have a meaningful conversation with someone else is to be mindful — “be fully present in the moment, with no prejudgment and with a purpose.” This sets the stage for effective communication. My second recommendation is to keep your mouth shut and listen mindfully.

Forget about the commonly listed listening techniques of nodding, saying ‘uh huh’, feigning interest, etc. – they are all crap.

You can’t be half in and half out of a conversation. One of your goals is to develop a reasonably accurate understanding of the person(s) you are addressing in order to actively engage with them. To open the lines of communication, first open your mind.

My next recommendation – don’t mentally multi-task. There is little you can do to hide the fact that you are multitasking from anybody who’s reasonably perceptive. Don’t be surprised if they feel disrespected and disengage with you.

Listening is a mind/body skill that takes constant practice. Your body language is also critical to your ability to listen effectively.

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Fortune Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, Harvard Business Review, LinkedIn, Facebook, and National Public Radio are only a few of the print, electronic and digital media bristling with stories about the need for face-to-face communication. There are numerous sources calling daily for human connection and interaction on a meaningful level.

Warren Buffet once commented he didn’t know how to do a handshake over the telephone.

Researchers are discovering the downsides of electronic and digital communication and how much of humanity is lost without face-to-face interaction. With all our devices, we are missing a connection.

I see titles like: “The mouth is mightier than the pen.” “Breathing is the key to Persuasive Public Speaking.” “Social media is a major contributor to career anxiety.” “It’s not just what you say but how you say it that can make the difference between success and failure.”

Millennials rushing to be entrepreneurs are struggling to learn how to use their mouths instead of their thumbs. They are slowly finding you can’t pitch to potential investors by texting. They are discovering how powerful an instrument the human voice can be and how using their minds, voices and bodies effectively can generate human connection.

Mind, voice and body in sync is a surefire way to effectively connect with others.

We are constantly selling a product, service or idea to someone else. We are constantly being judged on how effective and convincing we are in selling a product, service or idea. In the end “The only thing more powerful than a big idea is your ability to effectively communicate/sell that idea to others.”Contact me.

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Know your audience before you speak!

Know your audience and their triggers before you open your mouth to speak.

It starts with WHY. Why are you presenting and to whom?  Examine the purpose of your talk, seminar or workshop in relationship to your audiences’ profile. Their age, profession, titles, projects, organization, company and the event play key roles in why they came to listen to you. Remember an audience is a collection of individual people. Every collection is different.

Each event has its own dynamics. Where you are on the agenda, the mood of the event and audience should play a large role on how you prepare and improvise on the spot.

If people were required to attend your event, they typically fall into three categories sometimes called The Rule of Three:

• 1/3 want to learn what you have to offer
• 1/3  hope they will learn something and
• 1/3 wish the &#%!? they were somewhere else

On the other hand,  people may voluntarily come to listen to you because you have an idea or information worth spreading.  A key to getting them to listen is your presentation’s relevance to their individual realities, the event, their geographic location and, especially,  learning what’s new in relation to their interests or professions.

Once you answer the WHY and customize your presentation and the benefit(s) you bring to your specific audience—be it 1 or 1000—and begin with an interesting metaphorical story, your audience will listen to you.

…larry

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Research by Carnegie Mellon shows that 85% of your professional and personal success is based on your communication, presentation and speaking skills. PEW Research reports that communication skills are the number one quality companies want for leadership skills when they hire or promote someone.

Good communication is more than being a great public speaker. It is more about your interaction with your team, your peers, your friends and family, etc.

Emotion is the superhighway to the brain and storytelling is the vehicle to drive on that highway. Learn how to develop and deliver engaging stories, making an emotional connection with your audience.

With your well-trained mind, voice and body in sync you are in a better position to mindfully, accurately and authentically communicate your information to others, and, more important, communicate the emotions behind your information to your audience.
Supercharge your emotional intelligence and learn how to influence more people, sell more products, services and ideas, and inspire more successfully than you ever imagined.

Remember, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it that counts!

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