The online publication and the print book help bring to light a better way to divorce, by demonstrating that divorce without dishonor is possible by listening, collaborating, and exiting a failing relationship with dignity and respect on behalf of children and communities. "Much of what is discussed in Divorce Without Dishonor and Stop Fighting Over the Kids is a consumer awareness piece that demonstrates there are viable alternatives to the adversarial and expensive divorce process," states Lary Holland.

In 2009, Divorce Without Dishonor was referenced on the online and print version of the immensely popular "Divorce for Dummies" book:

Divorce Without Dishonor

http://www.divorcewithoutdishonor.com

You can see from the quality of the postings here that the author, a divorce attorney who went through his own painful divorce, puts a lot of thought and effort into his blog. He not only provides compassionate, practical advice about the major aspects of divorce but writes about such topics as how to overcome the guilt you feel because of your divorce and how to help your child cope with the emotions he or she may feel because of your divorce, tips for moving out of your family's home when you separate, and why some divorced fathers become ghost dads after their divorce --- fathers who pay the child support, but drift out of their children's day to day lives. The blog also highlights interesting divorce-related Web sites to check out, studies to learn from and divorce books to read, and even features quotes that will make you laugh or inspire you as you go through your divorce. (Divorce for Dummies. NJ: Wiley Publishing, 2009. 334-335. Print.)

In essence, inclusion of Divorce Without Dishonor in the Divorce for Dummies print book delivers the information and resources to a larger audience and continues to influence parents and professionals on the issues of positive parenting, collaborative law strategies, and child-centered
divorce practices through written articles, links, and resources.

http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs070/1102459575011/archive/1102722545167.html

We found ourselves in a position to offer several professionals a free review copy of the book STOP Fighting Over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations. The book sells for $29.99 through Amazon.Com. Within moments of many professionals walking into their office and checking their email our phones began to ring with people interested in using it as a resource in their own practices for parents, clients, and other colleagues.

Including the resource above we spread the awareness of the Coloring Away Pain series and have been receiving the feed back for them as well.

We interviewed Kimberly Pressley-Herric from Coloring Away Pain here.

The resource books will help parents work with their children through a variety of different trauma types in the form of coloring books to help a child express themselves on complex issues. Tornadoes, Earthquakes,Divorce, Parental Alienation, Floods, Fires, and more.

Here is a complete listing to share with colleagues and clients:
http://www.coloringawaypain.com/books.php

We are also sharing resource sheets from other counselors, psychologists, and professionals amongst their peers, if you have a resource sheet please email me at laryholland@sbcglobal.net  so I can share them with others.

Fairless Hills PA. July 5th, 2009: Pennsylvania Families and Childrens Equality are holding its first annual road bike trek to promote State House Bill 463 -- the Presumption of Joint Physical Custody in the State of Pennsylvania.

• Bill Koellner of Levittown, Pa and Bill Gibbons of Fairless Hills, Pa will ride their bikes 310 miles from Independence Hall / Peoples Park thru Harrisburg down to DC in only 4 days.


• Both riders will meet up with a group from Lansing Michigan on Thursday July 16^th on its last 80 mile trek down to DC – in conjunction with the annual “ParentStock” Festival held on the Lincoln Monument.
  

Monday Morning July 13^th at Peoples Park / Independence Hall – Phila. Pa. from 9-11am.

E-BOOKS FOR IMMEDIATE DOWNLOAD!

We do not encourage adversarial divorce by any means, but if you must engage in litigation and the complete divorce process it is important to be well-informed about the process, how it will affect your children, and what it can mean to you financially, whether male or female. Let us know if you find any of the electronic offerings helpful or if you have a resource that you think will assist other parents and we will include it here for others to order.

Men’s Divorce Tactics – Learn how to win your divorce without losing your shorts or your kids. “Most divorce lawyers do not care one iota about you.” The resource also states that “You’ll learn divorce basics, insider tips, and much much more.”

Divorce Secrets – Divorce Secrets, what every woman should know. This resource comes from DivorceDefense.Com, and has a significant focus on the financial aspects of divorce. Helpful information whether male or female as the strategies affect all litigants.

Divorce Strategies and Tactics (1 for Men / 1 for Women) – “Get the divorce settlement you want without spending a fortune.” There are two separate versions that you select at the time of purchase.

How to Win Child Custody -“The definitive strategy guide to winning custody by the Custody Coach.” With reviews from Dean Tong, Dr.Jayne Major, Attorney Kelley Rickert, Dr. Linda Nielsen, Dr. Amy Baker, and others. There are bonus offers through our link to the resource.

Co-Parenting Nightmare – Are you co-parenting with someone who is mentally ill or a substance abuser? Is their crazy behavior driving YOU insane? Let’s face it, when you are going through high-conflict situations, you might need this resource.

Family Law Secrets for Men – Why are Mothers winning custody in Family Court? Why are Fathers “allowed” to see their kids every other weekend and required to pay child support? The “Fathers Rights” movement is failing, and Men are losing custody every day. [Although we do not see this as a gender issue, this resource might assist you in making a determination for yourself.]

Chicken Soup for the Soul – Guide to Effective Parenting – From
The Desk of Parenting Expert, Shelly Lefkoe:If you knew that innocent mistakes could affect your children negatively for the rest of their lives…Would you change your behavior? If you could discover exactly what would help them to turn out just the way you want…Would you listen?

How Do I Tell The Kids About the Divorce (A Create-A-Storybook Guide) -When it comes to divorce or separation,there’s never a “best” time to tell your children. But there is a “best” way!

Custody Keeper (Child Custody and Divorce Calendar) – TomaWeb’s Custody Keeper® is a simple yet very useful custody scheduling software to help plan the time sharing of children between 2 or more guardians. Custody Keeper also lets you keep a daily diary of comments as well as track all of the expenses incured. The easy calendar interface is simple to use and will help you plan and manage the time sharing of the children so that it is clear for everyone involved. With Custody Keeper you can create a multiple year child access schedule in a matter of just a few minutes. [There is a 10-day free trial offer.]

Although we encourage parents to promote alternative dispute resolutions, mediation, and viable alternatives we recognize that there will still be parents that cannot settle their differences. As a result of the course that some parents take we provide child custody calendars, divorce tips, child custody tips, and various other resources to ensure parents are aware of the divorce and civil process.

We are also in the process of expanding resources to protect all of your legal rights and liberties and education/understanding is the starting point.

Over the past several weeks we have seen quite a bit of buzz going around about the recently released book STOP Fighting Over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations. (

For starters the hit book Stop Fighting Over the Kids has received the Good Parenting Seal of Approval  on June 29, 2009. Evaluated by parents, the seal is awarded to books and media that address parenting issues that are clear, helpful and actionable. The Seal exists to resolve the issues of parents with limited time and money to sort through the thousands of books, millions of websites and other media when researching advice on raising children. Parental Wisdom has been award the Good Parenting certification mark by the U.S. Patent Office. For more information visit www.parentalwisdom.com. The complete press release is available through Associated Content here.

Just a few days ago we learned also that STOP Fighting Over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations is now available in limited digitial format through Amazon's exclusive Kindle network. What this means is that the digital text/print version of the book is now available for instant delivery through any Kindle device and iPhone with appropriate software installed. The complete press release regarding this newest development is available online.

For those of you that are not aware, this july is the third annual National Child-Centered Divorce Month, celebrated by parents, the mental health community, and legal professionals, with a series of complimentary teleseminars open to all. Mike Mastracci, the legal mind and author behind STOP Fighting Over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations will be presenting a free tele-seminar on July 14, 2009. More information about this event and Mike Mastracci's involvement is available online at Associated Content.

For more information about the book Stop Fighting Over the Kids, you can visit the official website at http://www.stopfightingoverthekids.com. You can order a copy right from the website and share it with your local library and legal professionals.

One speech that I really enjoyed was Kristine C. from ICaucus.Org that spoke on the issues of Grassroots effectiveness and the fact that government has not been listening to our voices lately. A copy of this speech will be available in the coming days. For now, I leave you with a live version of God Bless America and come back for more information about this and other events that will help Americans stave off government intrusion in a variety of areas.

You can spread the video update from our partner site at http://www.getyourjusticelivevideo.com/play.php?vid=172

There has been significant updates coming from Parental Rights (.Org) as well, which has been updated at the Children Need Both Parents site available at http://childrenneedbothparents.net/?p=90 under the article “Child Rights” Forces Mobilize.

Please pass this information along to other grassroots groups and family rights organizations and encourage them to make phone calls to both Representative and Senators.

For more information:

Parental Rights . Org
Parents Rights . Us
Get Your Justice Live Interview

Americans for Prosperity Michigan Chapter Advisory Board Member Jack Hoogendyk and AFP-Michigan State Director Scott Hagerstrom joined the Get Your Justice Live program Wednesday June 17, 2009 and they brought a multitude of fresh issues to the national audience. Americans for Prosperity (AFP) and Americans for Prosperity Foundation (AFP Foundation) are committed to educating citizens about economic policy
and mobilizing those citizens as advocates in the public policy process.

To listen to the 1 hour interview, check out Get Your Justice Live Radio and the episode over here.

Mike Jeffries appears again on WomensDivorce.Com with a new article, Coping as an alienated parent. In the article he speaks of moving on:

Move on emotionally. Don't concentrate on the relationship you once had with the alienated child. Get past the anger. Don't beat yourself up. Focus on the positive. Understand how you got here. Get some exercise. Do volunteer work. Write in a journal. And when all else fails, recite the serenity prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can not accept
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Good advice from someone that has been through parental alienation and documented the entire process on both sides of spectrum through a parents' perception and a clinical perception. If you haven't had a chance to catch up with the full article, visit WomansDivorce.Com here. It is important to understand the dynamics associated with children of divorce when there is ongoing conflict between parents. The adversarial process harms children in our family courts.

There are two resources that every divorcing parent should be required to read. The first resource of course is A Familys Heartbreak (Mike Jeffries and Dr. Joel Davies) and then the second resource is Stop Fighting Over the Kids (Attorney Mike Mastracci). These two books show you the aftermath of poor decision-making that feuding parents can make before, during, and after a divorce or child custody dispute.

My thanks to WomensDivorce.Com and to the professionals that are aware that reforms are necessary to protect children and parents from the harms of the adversarial family court process.

More resources on Parental Alienation:

• A Familys Heartbreak Site:http://www.afamilysheartbreak.com


• Parental Alienation Hurts:http://www.parentalalienationhurts.com


• Dr. Amy Baker: http://www.amyjlbaker.com

Dr. Jeffrey Johnson, representing  the National Partnership for Community Leadership, joined us live on Get Your Justice Live to discuss the 100th Anniversary Year of Father’s Day, the National Fatherhood Conference for Responsible Fathers, and the National Fathers Day Rally on the Lincoln Memorial. Take a listen at the shortened 31 minute version so that you can get all the information about Dr. Jeffrey Johnson’s perspective on fatherhood, absenteeism, the events, and government policy affecting our families and children.

You can listen through the player below, of visit the entire piece at Get Your Justice Live.

The history of the case can be found here within the filed court opinion:

http://www.nycourts.gov/reporter/3dseries/2009/2009_04240.htm

Some interesting points not properly raised in the suit upon Motion to Dismiss, is that there was no contract between the same-sex partners to be enforced at all for a non-biological parent to pay any form of money on behalf of a child that is not "hers." In fact, to satisfy the statue of frauds, since the controversy in a support action would exceed $500.00, it would make perfect sense that a contract would be required before the state is able to adjudicate, not just a mere allegation that lady b encouraged lady a to have a child by artificial insemination. Following the latter logic a doctor encouraging a lady to artificially inseminate would be on the hook for child support despite the sperm not being his just based on his "strongly encouraging the mother to be artificially inseminated."

We need to promote responsible behavior, and if two homosexuals want to encumber their own liberty interests, there should be a contract at the very least that proves beyond a reasonable doubt that they intended for such abridgment to occur. Similarly, the petitioner just wanted the court to believe her version of the facts without producing any real evidence, so if the court claimed that it had jurisdiction, the obvious facts were never raised to withstand a motion to dismiss.

Here is an interesting excerpt from the opinion in H.M. v. E.T.

The Supreme Court, a court of general jurisdiction in law and equity (see NY Const, art VI, § 7), is competent to entertain all applications unless the court's subject matter jurisdiction to entertain a particular application has been specifically proscribed (see Sohn v Calderon, 78 NY2d 755, 766; Thrasher v United States Liab. Ins. Co., 19 NY2d at 166). In contrast, the Family Court is a court of limited subject matter jurisdiction (see NY Const, art VI, § 13; Family Ct Act § 115). Unable to exercise powers beyond those granted to it by the precise language of the Constitution or a statute (see Matter of Johna M.S. v Russell E.S., 10 NY3d 364, 366; Matter of Walker v Walker, 86 NY2d 624, 629; Matter of Pearson v Pearson, 69 NY2d 919, 921; Matter of Silver v Silver, 36 NY2d 324, 326), the Family Court is only competent to entertain such applications as the Constitution or a statute specifically enumerates (see Matter of Roy v Roy, 109 AD2d 150, 151;Matter of Mouscardy v Mouscardy, 63 AD2d 973, 974-975).

There was considerable controversy, even between the majority and dissenting opinions of the court that appear to be paving the way for the state to get involved in more and more cases despite no contract, despite no common-law basis, and despite jurisdiction being limited by statutory language. We need to watch these courts closely as common-sense becomes "not so common anymore."

The below is only an excerpt, you can obtain a copy of the full opinion from here:

http://www.nycourts.gov/reporter/3dseries/2009/2009_04240.htm


Decided on May 26, 2009

CHERYL E. CHAMBERS, JJ.

OPINION & ORDER



COVELLO, J. In this Family Court proceeding, a child's birth mother seeks to have another female, lacking legal ties to her, and lacking biological and legal ties to the child, adjudicated a parent of the child and required to pay child support. The question
presented for our consideration is whether the Family Court has subject matter jurisdiction to entertain such an application. Because the
application is not of a type that the Family Court, a court of limited jurisdiction, has been specifically authorized to entertain, we answer in the negative.

On or about October 23, 2006, H.M., an Ontario resident, and the birth mother of a 12-year-old child, filed a "Support application" with a Canadian agency, seeking to have E.T., a Rockland County resident, and H.M.'s former same-sex partner, adjudicated a parent of the child. H.M. also sought an award of child support retroactive to the date of the child's birth.

In support of her application, H.M. alleged that in August 1989, the parties lived in New York, entered into a monogamous relationship, and started cohabitating. H.M. alleged that the parties then agreed that she would attempt to become impregnated via artificial insemination, and that after a child was born, they would parent that child together. H.M. alleged that pursuant to this agreement, and with E.T.'s assistance and encouragement, she became impregnated by sperm from an anonymous sperm donor. In September 1994, H.M. gave birth to the subject child. H.M. alleged that over the next few months, E.T. acted as a parent to the child by nurturing and caring for him. However, H.M. alleged that in January 1995, E.T. ended the parties' relationship. H.M., who subsequently relocated with the child to Canada, alleged that after the relationship ended, she made numerous requests of E.T. for child support, all of which were refused.

Approximately two months after H.M. filed her support application, the Canadian agency [*2]transmitted it to the New York State Interstate Central Registry's Division of Child Support Enforcement. About two months later, the application, deemed a "Paternity/Support Petition" pursuant to the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act (Family Ct Act art 5-B [hereinafter UIFSA]), was forwarded to the Family Court, Rockland County, for action. The Family Court then issued a summons to E.T., notifying her of the petition, and informing her that the matter would be heard before a Support Magistrate.

I am in the process of obtaining the government's documents associated with these contracts, stay tuned for more information. We have some legitimate fears of access to citizen's private data that have not been found guilty of any crimes being placed in unregulated databases that are accessible by unsavory characters that aim to make a profit with identity theft.

Over the past several years we have noticed a climate ripe for embezzlement, identity theft, invasion of privacy, and more. Just this year the Federal government removed some protections to the taxpayer to stop the continuous growth of these agencies. The reversal of the tax payer protection policy that was originally implemented under the Budget Deficity Reduction Act of 2005, paves the way for more disastrous consquences for taxpayers.

Just in June 2008, Delaware Child Support Program Employees were caught stealing from taxpayers and the children. Just over a year ago, we demonstrated how Theft was Running Rampid in State Child Support Programs. The widespread lack of accountability in these programs continues, without sufficiently limiting access to private data and ensuring digital fingerprints are placed on all data in the various systems nationwide, there will continue to be fraud on the taxpayers and the participants of Child Support Enforcement programs.

The Child Support Enforcement program continues to be plagued over the past several years of documented fraud, identity theft, embezzlement, bribery schemes, and more. Just take a look at the snapshot below, and know that this is hardly a comprehensive look at the problems that exist throughout the nation with this "free for all welfare program."

Fort Bend Woman Guilty in Child Support Fraud Ring ~ "Fort Bend County jury has found 42-year-old Debra Hodge guilty of engaging in organized criminal activity for her part in bilking over $40,000 in fraudulent child support from the Texas Attorney General's Office."

Child Support Worker Arrested in Bribery Scheme ~ "ORLANDO, Fla. -- A former employee of the Department of Revenue's Child Support Enforcement program was arrested Thursday on bribery charges." (Local6.Com "Child Support Worker Arrested In Bribery Scheme" March 8, 2007)

Title IV-D Employee Embezzles Quarter of Million in Child Support Enforcement Money ~ "A Natomas woman stands accused of bilking the state Department of Child Support Services of more than $250,000, turning her procurement job into a means of buying a Lexus, hot tub and big-screen television, among other things."

The Weekly Standard Indicts CSE Title IV-D Welfare Program ~ "There is mounting evidence that the system now encourages marital breakup and exacerbates fatherlessness by creating a winner-take-all game, where the losing parent--commonly a father wanting to save the marriage--is unfairly penalized by the loss of his children and by a federally enforced child support obligation."

Federal Child Support Enforcement Program Makes Little "Cents" to the Taxpayer ~ "So the man, named Michael Eugene Lamb, is going into prison at the age of 49, sitting there on a federal conviction, and coming out sometime when he is almost 51 years old. The federal system will charge the taxpayers for his 1.5 year confinement at a cost between $30,000.00 to $50,000.00 depending on the facility and not including any health issues of the confined."

Child Support Clerk Charged With Embezzlement: More Government Corruption ~ "Another County employee, this one in Lauderdale County, has been indicted by a grand jury on felony embezzlement charges for allegedly stealing more than $216,000.00 of program money, paid for by taxpayers, by writing unauthorized checks to herself from January 2002 through April of 2007. This employee was released on a $10,000.00 bond, which no doubt was probably a drop in the bucket considering she has already been sitting on the $216,000.00 plus her lush salary."

Two Main Media Outlets Reprot More Thieving Title IV-D/CSE Employees ~ "Two separate reports have come out about a Maine Child Support Enforcement Worker (Title IV-D Employee) that has been stealing money orders from children the agency touts to protect. This most recent employee, who is now on administrative leave pending investigation, was reported as intercepting money orders and depositing them in her personal bank account."

Mounting Accountability Problems With Child Support Programs: Data Stolen ~ "Yuba County scrambled this week to contact 70,000 people whose names and personal information were on a laptop computer stolen from the new Child Support Services office in Linda. County officials said the stolen laptop contained Social Security numbers, birth dates, driver’s license numbers and other private information on 70,000 people+."

Identity Theft: Opt Out of Family Court Services Before it Happens to YOU! ~ "...customers in at least three states have already experienced serious breaches in their personal information, including social security numbers being compromised and potentially handed over to hackers that might want to steal identities in the last few months alone."

Implementing more data safeguards, limiting the size and scope of the the Federal and State Child Support Enforcement programs, tightening controls on confidential records, and more needs to be done to protect the taxpayer. We need to reign in the program and make sure it serves the purpose of real needy families rather than as a data harvesting tool for the federal and state governments on nearly every divorcing couple in the United States.

Lary Holland is Host and Producer of the popular online talk show, "Get Your Justice Live" with current content from Legislators, Decision-Makers, Professionals, and parents on government accountability, necessary judicial reforms, and more. Get Your Justice Live broadcasts live every Wednesday and Sunday Night at 8PM EST. Visit the website for more information.

The fight broke out at a home on the 200 block of Bodfish Canyon Road in Bodfish. Crystal Lee Parker, 29, lives at the home and had armed herself with a large knife after people arrived because of the child-custody dispute, according to the sheriff's office.

A Kernville man died Monday night after allegedly being stabbed during a child-custody dispute. (Bakersfield Now Eye Witness News; Kernville man dies after stabbing in child-custody dispute; May 26, 2009; Orig.)

Family Court related violence is becoming more prevalent throughout the country as spouses aim to kill one another rather than go to trial. This isn't the first time that family court turns out to be deadly business either, just take a look at this article that continues to mount evidence against an adversarial court system that is proven bad for families. Family Court is Deadly Business.

Get Your Justice Live, an online interactive talk show discussing issues relating to government policies affecting the family, encourages diversion programs to remove a significant portion of cases from the judicial docket, staying the cases, and moving them to pilot programs focusing on alternative dispute resolution. A free seminar, "Save Our Kids", promotes a viable alternative to the adversarial family court system with the ADR method known as Collaborative Law. With a reduction in the bloated judicial dockets, judicial resources will be free to deal more intimately with the high-conflict family court cases before they escalate to critically dysfunctional levels that drive people to destructive acts against other family members.